30 May 2015

Peepers Checkup

I had a few different ideas on ways to spend today.  Unfortunately, none of them came to pass.  I got woke up early by Gator and despite kicking her out of my room she followed up a couple hours later and was persistent at meowing and scratching at the door, knowing full well that if she made enough racket that Daddy would give in.  So I did.  Breakfast is served to the elite members of the household.  The staff (that would be me) enjoyed breakfast as well but not until the elite were served and satisfied. 

I had some time to kill before my eye exam.  What better to do than look for porn.  Actually I got an e-mail from someone at work and elected to answer it.  I got to bill for 15 minutes and there is plenty of OT on my time card already, so this helped me – despite it being something that I didn’t want to do.  Then after I was done I looked around for porn. 

Then I went upstairs and started watching TV because there was still more time that needed to pass.  Eventually I got dressed and made it to the Eye Doctor. 
So I walk in the door they ask me if I am who I am and I confirmed it.  Then they said sign in.  Why?  What is the point I mean you fucking know I am here.  Then they ask me if I am going to get new glasses.  I said well that is what I am here to find out.  They were a bit taken back by my response.  Yeah well that’s like taking your car to the shop for an oil change and them asking if your going to get new tires.  Well are the old ones bad?  It’s stupidity and I don’t deal with that very well at all.

The eye doctor told me there was a .25 change in my Right eye but that I could easily stay with the glasses that I had.  However my insurance is all too happy to pay for new glasses.  So I started looking.  Turns out insurance will pay most of the cost but they still want me to fork over $250.  Not a bad deal considering I just ordered $750 worth of glasses.  While I really didn’t want to move forward I did.  Now I will have a backup pair just in case.  Plus who knows maybe the new glasses will be easier to clean.
After I was done I went by the post office as it was starting to rain.  No mail but I did have a letter that needed to get in the mail.  Then back home for what I thought would be a little bit and then I’d get moving.  Yeah I was fooling myself.  I’ve been here ever since. 

While I have a desire to get out, it’s far easier to stay home.  I get to be with the children and have been giving some attention to each of them.  I am at the point where I’d love to kill Gator because she won’t turn off.  She has been like that all damn day and it grates on my last nerve. 

I had the only slice of left over pizza from last night and then I moved in on some pie.  Watched some good TV.  Worked in a nap with Gator sitting on top of me so that I wouldn’t easily get away.  It was very relaxing and comfortable.  Slept for about an hour and a half.  I wanted to go for longer but it was a little past lunch and well the elite had to be fed, so I took care of that. 

I’ve been really thinking about this Bankruptcy business.  I can’t get it out of my head and I am filled with so much anger and rage.  I wondered how much more I would have to pay in, if we didn’t seek a hardship discharge.  I got my answer by doing some research.  I hope your sitting down.  It would take another $4,072.89 which would be about another year and a half before it was all paid in.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Nope wish I was.  Big surprise but no response from the attorney.  While he represents my late partner, this matter directly affects me and my future.  The last time we did battle it was because I had questions and he chose to ignore me.  Now it looks like a repeat situation.  I just want an update on where we are and for him to do his job.  I am not asking for the moon and the stars.  Why the fucker hasn’t filed the motion yet is beyond my understanding.  Yeah I do realize he has more people to work with than just me but he was hired to do a job and in my opinion I think he is doing a lousy job.  My hope and desire is that he will finally do his job and file the motion.  Let the court make a ruling and hopefully we can all get on with our lives.

Personally I am of the opinion that I am to the point where I am done with paying – if you really think that as a former creditor you will get anything, you are barking up the wrong tree.  Plus you will have to spend time and money to find me, then to hire an attorney and sue me.  Do I think a company would do that, yes depending upon the amount they were owed.  However, the most that would happen is that the house would be sold.  The mortgage company would get 1st dibs on the money and there should easily be enough there to pay off the mortgage.  The creditors well they would get a bite at what was left and that wouldn’t be much.  Meanwhile it would cause an upheaval of my life and living well it would be difficult.  However, if I managed to get his medical bills waived I am pretty confident that I could work with his former creditors.  While it’s easy to talk BIG it’s another thing to actually take ACTION.  It would be a serious gamble and if things went south I could only blame myself.  I have worked damn hard to get where I am and I think I have made a huge amount of progress since his passing.  I am doing better than I thought I ever would.  I wouldn’t want to lose the only asset that I know he wanted me to have.  So the bigger question will remain if things go south will I continue to pay or will I gamble?  Maybe we should ask the eye doctors staff they probably know.
In the world of on-line dating I had removed all of the apps from my phone and thought that I would experience withdrawals.  Yeah well a little bit of withdrawals but it’s pretty quick to get used to not having to look.  I am curious by nature so I put Grindr back on my phone yesterday but have since removed it.  I didn’t bother to create an account, it was just a quick look to see if any new guys joined.  There were a couple of fresh faces that caught my eye. 

I have been going back and forth with trying to chat up and meet up with an old friend.  I go back and forth on what to do.  It could all be a waste of time or it could blossom into something more.  I can honestly say that I don’t want to be in an overnight relationship all tied down.  I like being free but am in need of a companion.  I am comfortable with taking care of the sex part by myself.  Right now I just want a companion and well if it leads to something more, I don’t think I would object.  As I see every day pass I know that I am growing older.  If you know nothing about the Gay Community know that age and appearance are two big factors.  Neither of which I think is in my favor but I have had some nice compliments, so maybe I am being a bit hard on myself.  I thought about taking a step forward tonight and visiting a Gay bar but I would much rather go with someone – safety in numbers.  I like 2 6 9, no seriously I would want someone to have my back just in case I managed to find trouble.  So I will just have to wait and wonder.

Boring night home, surfing the net and taking care of the children.  Tomorrow I will be going out to breakfast and then on to the grocery stores.  I don’t know why it has to rain on the weekend, that really plays into a lot of decisions I make.
Well there you go, now you know as much as I do.  On with the night because it will be over with before I know it.  Then I will have to face tomorrow and after that back to 5 days of work.  Wow suddenly staying home doesn’t sound so bad. 

No comments: