31 July 2014

Thursday already

I can’t believe that time has flown by so fast.  Today I got my first paycheck, it was nice.  I also got paid from the 3 day place I was at last week.  So in total it was almost close to a regular paycheck from the last place I worked at in May.  Kind of nice.  I am looking forward to getting my first real check from my employer, that should be a lot more money!

I discovered an intranet site that provides discounts on lots of things from clothes, cell phones, computers, parking, etc.  There are some nice perks.  I get a better deal on my cell phone than they can provide so I will keep what I have, even if they are paying the bill.

Speaking of which, I got my phone enrolled in their Mobile Device Management software so that I can get e-mail on my phone.  They really lock things down and take away your ability to be the administrator of your phone.  Plus if you leave they will wipe your device, no questions and no exceptions.  That doesn’t make me happy but I understand it. 

I went out with the hot guy earlier this week and time got away from us.  I hit him up again to see if he wanted to go out last night or tonight.  He made plans for tonight but never followed up on them.  I pursued him and he told me that he wanted to work rather than play, that really was a major disappointment to me.  I mean it’s for the best because I really need to pack but it still hurt.  I really felt the rejection and I am sure he probably didn’t mean anything by it.  I wonder if he even still likes me after the few things I shared with him.  He doesn’t know that I am gay but I suspect that he may suspect it.  Call me overbearing but I just sent him a friend request on Facebook to see if he will accept it, that in it’s self will say a lot to me.

So the training program I am in is moving along.  I am learning the bulk of what I am supposed to learn but they aren’t following the schedule to a T.  That bothers me but I am highly organized and used to following a schedule.  I was able to talk with HR today.  The Openly Gay button I found out just gets you lots of surveys in your in box.  Glad I didn’t check that one.  I finished the benefits enrollment and turned in my parking paperwork.  So everything should be all set.  I got the better vision plan for $5 per paycheck and that is totally worth it because it covers frames, lenses, etc.  Plus you get 1 free exam per year.  Now all I have to do is wait until the 15th and then go change the contribution percentage that comes out of my check for the 401K.  I will reduce it from 6% which is automatic to more like 1 or 2% which will be much more affordable.  Once the match starts in a year I may be able to afford to bump that up.

I have heard from my cat sitter each and everyday.  Thus far everyone is doing well.  No diarrhea from Big Boy so my guess is that will happen tonight so I come home to it tomorrow.  I am not looking forward to the drive back, but I am looking forward to seeing everyone and sleeping in my own bed. 

I like the bed here but there is nothing like your own bed.  I really started to feel the stress of the trip hitting me this morning.  I have vowed to get to bed earlier and earlier each night but it just doesn’t happen.  Well tonight it should.  I will be watching a couple of my favorite shows (hopefully they air here) and should be packing and getting ready to go to bed and check out in the morning. 

My boss talked with me yesterday and apologized but she neglected to inform me that I also support one other office.  It’s about 2 hours away.  So easy 1 day trip up and back.  No worries and I am also glad that I made them come up with the extra money.  It seems like from what I see that only a couple people here really work and everyone else is quick to goof off, go on break and sit around and chat.  Plus I also found out that the 1 week of training at home has been reduced to 3 days.  I am not happy about that but I will have to fly sooner rather than later and hopefully by that point I will be confident enough to take the reins and run with it. 

Okay, so off to the races.  Talk with you peeps over the weekend at some point.  I will be driving back here on Sunday.  Be well and thanks again for your support and readership!

28 July 2014

The 1st Day

I woke up in plenty of time, however with getting ready, having breakfast, then my stomach and nerves kicking in and then fighting with GPS I made it but it was much later than I wanted to be.  I was still on time. 

I walked in got parking all taken care of.  The receptionist was briefing me as if I were in the military telling me who’s going to be in the room.  Then we walked in.  It’s 2 girls and 2 guys.  As you can well imagine the other guy is fucking cute! He has a wonderful smile and seems upbeat and his booty is yummy looking.  Oh I want some of that.  I see a ring on his finger so it’s probably not going to happen.  I figured we might hang out tonight but not the case. 

There was some paperwork and on my I-9 I filled in the document information well that pissed off the HR lady.  She said oh you have to redo this, you can’t fill in my part.  Bitch, I did you a fucking favor.  Ah well I did what she asked me to.  Training today was mostly on technology and how it works.  We learned how to write a letter on automatically generated stationary.  I have done this before.  Learned all about there DMS or Document Management System.  It’s mostly straight forward and not complicated like I was used to in the past.  Email signatures generate automatically based on your login.  You will never see your signature but they said trust us we assure you it’s there.  They have Cisco Video Phones which is pretty cool.  You have a camera on your phone so that way you can see who your talking to as long as it’s within the company.  They have it all going on and looks like they spared no expenses any place.

Tomorrow is more tech training and benefits.  They are so organized or at least give that impression.

Lunch was me, the hot guy and our managers.  We went to a local BBQ place it was awesome.  I had something called Cheesy Corn.  It’s corn in a cheese sauce, sounds like no big deal but it’s damn good.  We were all stuffed.  Talked a little bit about our lives and made small talk most of lunch.  I told them about the kids and they were all really taken back especially when I told them about Big Boy.  Lunch was an hour and a half.  Very generous!

The afternoon flew by, in fact I am surprised I am sitting in my hotel room.  I had Lobster Mac & Cheese for supper with Gooey Butter cake for desert.  It was all so rich and I am sort of paying the price now.  I need to get my shower and relax – tomorrow will be here before you know it.  I also am due at work earlier than today.  Right now I have no idea what my regular hours will be, but I am anxious to find out.

TV here sucks, I miss my Roku box and my On Demand.  I can always watch Netflix, Amazon, etc from the computer but I figure why bother.  At least with TV I have a remote.  I caught an episode of American Greed last night, which was enjoyable. 

I have a huge binder from work that I am going to read a little bit of and then it’s showers and bed.  Know that I am doing well and thus far having fun.  Everything seems to be coming together.  Despite the fact that I got lost going to work and coming home.  I will get it figured out eventually and by then it will be time to leave.  I really am not looking forward to making the drive home.

My cat sitter called while I was eating and said everything checked out okay.  He couldn’t find Big Boy and figured he headed for the hills.  I just hope he isn’t trapped.  He loves to crawl under the couch and then he sometimes has problems getting out.  I guess I am worrying to much.  If he doesn’t see evidence that Big Boy has been out tomorrow,he will go looking for him.

I did get on Grinder and didn’t see anyone I knew.  It’s entertainment so I will check it now and then.  Wouldn’t it be funny to check it at the office and find out that someone is really close to me.  :)

Okay, that is a wrap folks.  Talk with you later.

27 July 2014

Made it ok

Okay so I arrived.  I have spent over an hour trying to connect.  There is a network cable in the room, I thought wow free internet.  Nope, it’s pay.  Hotel WIFI is pay as well.  Both same price.  I saw a Google Fiber Free WIFI that worked for a short period of time.  I really wish I had tethering on my phone then this would all be so much easier.  However, AT&T doesn’t give anything for free.  Verizon on the other hand, sure it’s wide open.  I miss them for that reason alone. 

TV here sucks.  The adult movies are all hetero, not that I would risk my job for pron.  They have new releases like Zack Effron in Neighbors but they want $17 to watch, it’s cheaper to go to the movies.

I tried streaming pron from home it works but there is a delay, not so good for getting off.  Luckily I brought pron on a USB stick.  However, this laptop that I am borrowing from a friend is all locked down, so when I get back home over the weekend I will be able to use a tool that will open up the administrator account, so that I can clear my tracks.  He will never have any idea.  I really don’t want him to think less of me or that the only reason I asked is because of pron, because it’s not.  I need to check e-mail at home, use on-line banking and of course blog.

One of my many favorite pron stars lives where I am at. I know he’s on Grinder and I really thought a lot about him on the way up.  It’s a fantasy that would be nice to fulfill but I’m not paying and well pron star, that is kind of opening yourself up to lots of risk.  Still it would be nice to be able to meet him in person, even if nothing sexual happens. 

There is an infamous gay bar, it’s a chain called Hamburger Mary’s.  They are supposed to have good food and I just looked it up, it’s 0.5 miles away from my hotel.  That would be something I paid for on my own dime, that is unless I wind up spilling the beans about my sexuality.  This is a fresh start so I am keeping plenty of secrets.

Time has really gotten away from me.  I need to get a shower and working the controls here will be a challenge, it’s all way too modern.  Brush my teeth, take my sleeping pills and jump in bed not before turning off all of the lights. 

I did 80 to 90 mph the entire way here once I got away from the city.  I saw plenty of places to stop.  There is like 2 adult book stores, which I am skipping.  There is the winery we used to visit, I will stop there and pickup some grape juice, it’s smooth and good.  I will be able to enjoy that.  I brought a bottle of water with me, drank it and had to pee most of the way.  I held it until I arrived and then found the bathroom – checked in and got settled.  Had a steak for supper which was just okay.  Online reviews said it was the bomb but it was just okay by me.  I’ve had better.  There isn’t much of a menu at the hotel restaurant.  I did hear they have a breakfast buffet so I will check that out tomorrow.  I also have the option of ordering breakfast to my room, fill out the little card, hang it on the door before 2am and presto everything arrives when you asked.

My room is over looking the swimming pool, mostly kids and women by the pool.  I don’t believe I will be checking it out but the week is still young.

Leaving the kids was the hardest part of the whole thing.  I almost cried.  I just hate them not knowing or realizing what is going on.  I told them but I don’t think they really understand.  I told them I would be back on Friday night.  I sure hope they are all okay.  I trimmed Shy Girls claws this morning and that was a huge mess.  However, I broke out the food and we became fast friends again.  She loves me just doesn’t like to be picked up or held down and no matter what don’t touch the paws unless you have protection on because she will lash out. 

So I think that if my late partner could see me now, he would be quite proud of how I managed things.  I really wish well you know that he was here. 

Okay, time to call it a night.  Talk with you peeps after my first day on the job.  I pray it’s everything that I want it to be and more. 

26 July 2014

Clock is ticking

Time as usual is working against me, the deadline of leaving is approaching and I still have way more to do than I thought I would.  I hit a snag today where the heat just sucked the life out of me and I had to have something to drink and a nap.  It was good to rest.

I got up and got moving but then again time, I had to leave to meet my friend for dinner.  He talked non-stop and I didn’t get home until 9:30 which put another dent in the plan of getting ready. 

I am in total control of when I leave but I told the cops I would be out of here by 2pm, I actually plan on leaving by 12 noon.  The cops will be watching the house while I am gone, along with my security system and my army of 7 scared cats.  Who I am sure will be wondering what the hell happened and when are we going to get fed. 

There is still lots of TV that I’d like to watch but it’s not available yet.  For some reason on demand hasn’t been updated.  Perhaps by the time I get back it will be. 

I hate to think that tomorrow at this time I will be tucked away in my hotel room, probably trying to go to sleep.  I’m guessing with the drive and a hot shower just before bed that will help.  I expect to get the best sleep I have had in a while.  I usually sleep better away from home for some strange reason.  I know I need a new bed but still you should be able to relax and sleep well in your own home. 

So my worries are the kids, will I survive the drive and manage to stay awake for 4 hours non stop or will I have to pull over.  Plus I am wondering what kind of environment and people I am going to be working with.  I’m sure with a little time things will settle down. 

Tomorrow morning there will be so much left over.  I need to file my unemployment claim.  This is the one where I tell them I am back to work and they will stop paying me.  I will also take a peek to see if I can see the deposit that should be pending for Monday from the last place I worked at.  It will be the 15th of the month before I see my paycheck with this new job, so money is tight.  The good news about that is I will be on the road and away from home so when I get back and we enter into week 3 of training on that Friday is the 15th, so I should be in good shape.

My next entry should be from my hotel room letting you know that I arrived, that is if I have enough energy to post.  I have a feeling that all of the jitters and nervousness will die down once I get there.  Talk with you peeps later.

25 July 2014

Expensive Day

Since my feet have been bothering me for quite sometime and my doctor can’t seem to figure anything out, I made an appointment today at the Good Feet Store.  They sell Orthotics and they are NOT cheap.  They tried to talk me into a 3 step system for $1,500.  I guess if I would have gone in sooner I would have had the money but that is a mortgage payment and I just can’t afford to part with that kind of cash right now.  I walked out with the cheapest thing they sold and spent $200 for it.  There is only a 6 month warranty for it and the guy tried to tell me that I would be back to buy the full system.  I don’t think so.  They don’t do any insurance billing but they are quick to tell you that there is a 0% financing offer available provided that you pay it off within 12 months.  All of there inserts are non refundable due to “health reasons”.  I sort of understand that but it’s an insert, you can wash it off and it’s good as new again. 

Then I managed to get my car into the dealer, thank God.  I got some Freon for the AC and the usual oil change & checkup.  That was another $120.  I found out that my tires are starting to wear.  They will need future attention.  I was told that would be somewhere down the line.  I was really surprised they say the breaks are perfect.  I’m known to be hard on breaks.  I know my habits have changed but I didn’t think by that much.  So the car is more than road ready.  Just pack, fill the tank and go. 

The paperwork came in by e-mail for my trip.  I got a copy of my offer letter which tells me that they will 100% pay for my parking, so another bullet dodged.  In looking over the benefits summary I found out that you have to be there for 2 years before you are eligible for Profit Sharing.  Your automatically enrolled in the 401K upon hire, I will have to nix that because I need all of my money right now.  I am not apposed to joining but at a later date.  They also have a basic vision plan that is at no cost.  If I want to step up then it would be $10 per pay period, which is $2 more than my last employer was charging but I bet you that the coverage is way better.  I did look at their Medical & Dental even though I have coverage, it looks to be very affordable and you have many choices. 

I will be staying at 2 different Hotels.  The 1st one is a Westin and they are really paying a premium for the rooms.  The Westin charges for Internet Access.  I’m going to request it upon check in and it should be added to my bill for The Firm to pay, if they don’t want to pay it then I will be happy to pay for it on my own dime.  I just have to have connectivity to the outside world.  They have a swimming pool but it’s outdoor only and I’m not a fan of outdoor pools because I will turn RED like a Lobster before I know what hit me.  So looks like I will be hitting the shower and that will be as much water as I see, unless of course it rains.  I will have to drive to the office each day and check in on the 1st day by 9am or the offer goes away.  That won’t be a problem, I plan on being there some where between 8 and 8:30.

The 2nd hotel is a Hilton and there is no pool but they have WIFI.  Again an expensive room.  This hotel is within walking distance of the office, so provided the weather cooperates I can walk to work, which will be good for my fat ass. 

Parking at both hotels is $18.00 per night and they will pay for that as well.  Not to mention whatever the parking cost is at the office garage.  I am very excited about this opportunity and look forward to what they have to offer me.  I pray that I have NOT signed a deal with the devil and that this turns out to be everything I think it is and more. 

The mail brought a response from the agency investigating my discrimination complaint on my former employer.  Turns out I have a case based on Sexual Orientation.  I am guessing but do not know for certain that they contacted the other person who was let go under the same guise as I was.  Now if she signed their Separation Agreement then technically she resigned and that is what the company will report.  So that may blow a hole in the case and stop it dead in its tracks.  In any event I signed and mailed the paperwork they asked for.  Only time will tell what will happen.  I know I do not want my job back, I would want a monetary settlement. 

I also got all of my bank statements and was able to reconcile all of my accounts.  It’s really true I don’t have much money.  I am interested to see what the 3 day place gives me on Monday.  It’s direct deposit so I won’t know until the evening, which should be interesting.  In any event it should be enough to cover a couple bills or I could use it for spending money while I am away. 

I am putting off the getting luggage out and packing part, but then again I don’t leave until Sunday.  I want to try to relax as much as possible and enjoy what little time I have left here.  I will leave on Sunday probably around 12 noon and not arrive there until 4 or 5pm.  I will be able to leave on Friday and make the venture back home in which case I should be home around 8pm.  The children won’t be too happy with me when I return.  They really won’t like it when I leave again but after that there won’t be anymore travel for a while, if ever.  I just pray that they all make it through this temporary readjustment.  I know the rugs will need cleaning when I get home.  Big Boy will develop Diarrhea from not being on his medication.  Jumper will be puking because he won’t be on his medication.  Momma well who knows, hopefully there won’t be any side effects from her.

The thing is it will be like a shock to their system at first, then they will go back on medication for 3 days and then off again and finally back on.  That in its’ self is asking for trouble.  However, I have no other choice.  I can’t afford to board all of them and if they were boarded I’m afraid they would shutdown or develop some other problem.

All things considered it’s been a good day that has only gotten better.  I am not looking forward to the drive but I am looking forward to getting started.  I need that money!  All I can say is Thank You God for blessing me.  Let’s hope the vicious ride from hell that I was on, has finally come to an end. 

I will try to post while I am away.  As there will be plenty of time in the evening to kill, unless co-workers want to do something.  I’m guessing that won’t happen, which is fine.  The part that I will miss the most is being able to call back home and talk with my late partner.  That was the best thing about traveling before he passed, just hearing his voice was comforting.  Now I will be calling my cat sitter and checking up on the furry guys and gals. 

It’s way past my supper time so I am going to eat something, even though I am not hungry once I start I have a feeling that I will just dig in.  Tomorrow night I am going out with a friend who is picking up the tab.  It’s going to be a really busy day tomorrow and then again on Sunday.  After that everything should fall in place or so I hope.

Thanks again for your support.  I will talk with you peeps later.

24 July 2014


I got a dollar for dollar matching offer from The Firm.  They are very open to when I want to start and since I am kind of in desperate need of money, I said Monday.  Wow so travel they wanted to buy me a plane ticket which would obligate me to stay there for 2 weeks.  I’d like to go back home on the weekend if possible.  So I suggested driving, it’s a long haul but I am certainly open to it.  I am letting them decide what will work best for them.  If I drive I don’t have to worry about Airport Security, which I hate with a passion.

Wow what a ride it has been.  You think a rollercoaster carries a lot of emotion, well it’s got nothing on what I have been through.  So I am waiting for the piece to form and to have ends tied up.  My guess is that since it’s so late in the day I won’t know anything until tomorrow for certain. 

I want to get together tonight to celebrate with friends, again I am waiting to see if that will happen.  Only time will tell.  All I can tell you is that whatever I consume for supper I plan on it being awesome!

Now let the good times roll.  Talk with you peeps later, I’ve got some work to tend to.  Thanks for all of your support. 

23 July 2014

You Won’t Believe it

Today started off like any other day.  We had a meeting to “train” and then we were sent live into production.  I asked during the meeting if we could get a subscription to some IT learning site(s) and that it would benefit all of us to expand our knowledge.  I was told that they would need to look into it but it shouldn’t be a problem.  Around 1:30pm both managers come get me and say they need to talk with me.  We walked to the front of the building and before I knew it we were in HR.  I said why do I get the feeling this isn’t good?  They said it’s not, have a seat.  Then the HR Manager told me that based upon what they have seen over the course of 3 days that I didn’t posses the skill set to preform the job I was hired for effectively.  Therefore, effective immediately they were terminating my employment and I had to immediately surrender all company property.  I would be escorted back to my office to retrieve my personal effects and then escorted out of the building.  They will pay me for the week, plus Monday the 28th.

Okay so going into this they already knew that I didn’t posses the skills the job required.  However, they afforded me the opportunity to learn and grow.  Then a couple days after rolling out the red carpet all bets are suddenly off.  I don’t get it.  It wasn’t fair to me, to the firm and it wasted a lot of time, money and not to mention it got my hopes up.  I was worried don’t get me wrong but I wanted to prove it to myself and to others that I could do the job.  Granted the 1 week rush to be trained didn’t help things.  If training could have been more relaxed and spread out over a couple weeks then I think this would have been a more positive experience.  That said, if they were going to pull the plug I am glad they did it now rather than later when I would have to start my job search and unemployment all over again.

I raced home as fast as I could.  I called The Firm that I rejected last night and told them that I had a change of heart and I would really like to put the offer back on the table.  They said absolutely.  So they were very pleased that I called back.  Now they apparently don’t like to take no for an answer.  Since I told them no two times, they put into management so they could make me a counter offer, they really, really want me.  So the counter offer will be either what I was making at the job I was at for 3 days or it might be slightly less.  Either way, it’s a job and it will be a win for me.  I thought we would have this all hammered out today and I could relax, but things are still up in the air.  They are waiting for management to provide the dollar figure and they will call me tomorrow.  Provided everything works out I will be working again on Monday.  I will be away from home for 2 weeks for training, but I think I will be able to make it home on the weekend.  It kind of depends upon how I travel, if I am flying then probably won’t happen.  If I am driving then it shouldn’t be a problem.  I won’t know the particulars until we get to the dollar figure part and they can make me a formal offer. 

I am so very lucky and fortunate that I had this other offer in my hip pocket or I would be t-totally screwed.  The other offer is a desktop support job which is my forte and I should not only be more comfortable, it should be a walk in the park.  Getting used to the environment, the people, etc. will all come in time.  Overall, I think that at the end of the day this place will be home for quite sometime and that to me is what it’s all about.  Of course the money is a high factor.  They have a prenominal 401K with a 50% match up to the 1st 6%.  There is profit sharing, they will pay for my cell phone, I can direct deposit into multiple accounts, I can get standalone vision coverage, they purchase and pay for AD&D, Life as well as Short & Long Term Disability.  They will subsidize parking, They pay you $100 per week when you are on-call, plus you get to charge for your time in  15 minute increments.  There are just wins all over the place for me.  Now I will have to work hard, I am sure but it sounds like at the end of the day they really do care and show great appreciation for their people.  That to me is worth a lot because most employers will tell you they care but they don’t show it. 

The cons so far are – travel for 2 weeks, no laptop provided when your on-call.  You have to use your home machine.  I have to use my own phone – really would like 2 devices but they are paying the bill so it’s not really a con.  The location of the office from my house kind of sucks.  There really isn’t a good way to get there but I will figure it out. 

For once in my life I am able to make a list and the pros actually out weight the cons.  I just hope it all comes through and works out.  Otherwise I am in fact up a creek, out of money and there are no paddles. 

I will keep you posted.  I got a therapy session setup for tomorrow, thinking about having my haircut and hopefully I will be able to celebrate.

I can’t believe the emotional rollercoaster I have gotten on.  I am so tired and done with negative and bad words just can’t express it.  Just when it looks like life is turning around it ups and kicks me in the ass.  I pray that after tomorrow I can put the negative behind me and move forward with only positive.  At least if something bad is going to happen, make it time delayed for say 20 or 30 years.  Then I think I will be able to cope better. 

Say a prayer or two.  I will keep you posted and talk with you peeps or should I say peep later!

22 July 2014

Little Sleep

I was pretty keyed up yesterday with it being my 1st day.  I was talking with friends giving them updates.  My one friend was at her sons house.  He kept following her around and intimated that she was having an affair with me and that she is away from home, a married woman and she should be talking with her husband (his father).  She kept telling him it was me but it didn’t click and then she said the magic words …. your father has nothing to worry about he’s gay.  That put an end to his concerns pretty quickly.  He left her alone then.  I laughed my ass off when I heard about that.  It frequently is a concern for a husband when their wife and I become friends.  All of a sudden I am a threat, until they realize oh he’s gay well that’s okay then.  It’s like I am one of the girls. 

I did get an offer from the other firm and it came in tonight.  They really tried to sell me on the benefits and their pay was crap.  It was less than I was making at my last job and it would have meant a $5,000.00 cut in pay from my present job.  There is no way they are going to match what I am making.  I asked them to give me time to think it over and after I talked with a friend I realized I should stop looking at my current opportunity as hyper critical and setting myself up for failure, instead try it and well if it blows up at least I can say I tried.  I called and declined the job and explained that the numbers were way off and that benefits won’t pay my bills. 

I am flattered that a couple places outside of my current employer were interested in me, but I can’t work for peanuts – those days are gone.  I am all by myself and I need serious money in order to try to make a go of things.  All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and try.

My emotions kind of got the best of me today at work, I was really wanting to ‘make a pass’ at the guy who is leaving.  I just started lusting after him.  In conversation he mentioned that he had a girlfriend and well that put an end to it.  I never made move 1, he still is eye candy and I genuinely would like to be friends after he leaves.  He seems like a very nice person, is very well spoken and reminds me of Mike Ross on Suits – thought he is honest. 

I did the fingerprint thing today and now tomorrow will be my first full day of work.  I also showed up early and was told clock in, it will count as comp time.  So I did.  I had a chance to speak with my new boss this afternoon and asked him what he thought of things and he said when we are on our own I am scared as hell, it’s going to be really rough.  I told him yeah, I keep wondering what I got myself into.  Not being hyper critical but this place is a complete cluster fuck with the amount of work they have to do – the environment is completely screwed and almost needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.  Phone system needs upgraded, The email server is a mess and needs to be rebuilt.  I’m telling you I really stepped in it but I think that I am where I am because I am supposed to be there  Weather to benefit my new employer or my new employer to benefit me or possibly both.  I don’t know.  If/when we separate I may know then. 

I know that at my last job I was there to show them not to be afraid of the computer, to educate and to train.  There was a lot of hand holding but I was okay with it because it paid the bills. 

So tonight I got a very nice and unexpected surprise.  Lawn Boy showed up one day early and he was shirtless.  Holy Cow he was looking so fine.  I didn’t take any photos because I was on the phone getting that other offer. 

I’ve promised myself that I will take some extra sleeping meds tonight and I will go to bed early.  I’ve been dragging all day.  Today’s lunch was McDonald’s paid for by my new employer.  I brought my lunch not knowing but when a better alternative presents it’s self why not eat it while you can.  My doctor will have a fit – it’s not good for me because of Cholesterol and because of my Diabetes and all I have to say to that is YOLO everyone needs tasty food, even if it’s bad for you. 

Well I’m off to take care of the children, have some gelato and try to relax and let the stress of the day melt away.  Tomorrow there will be a new challenge waiting for me and hopefully some additional knowledge.  I’m apprehensive, nervous and have genuine concern if this is going to work.  However, someone had faith in me so I feel I owe it to them to give this my very best and nothing less will be acceptable. 

Onward and Upward I go!  Talk with you peeps later.

21 July 2014

Day 1–New Job

Things started out okay.  I arrived 1/2 hour early which is far better than a 1/2 hour late.  I’m salaried but we still have to punch a virtual time clock.  It’s a piece of software that we have to login and out of.  Reason being is they give comp time, so the system helps keep track of that.  There will be many long days and nights with this – that is not something I look forward to.

Orientation did take up a BIG part of the day.  I had to have a meeting with HR on 2 occasions.  The first time was to complete an offer form.  The second time is because my drug screen came back positive.  I told them in advance it would because of the sleeping medicine.  Well, that meant that I had to visit a local test facility and they had to preform a 2nd test and then they will have a medical professional say that my sleeping medication was the cause of the positive result.  I have to take in both of my RX’s tomorrow so they can photo copy the labels and then we should be done. 

The 2nd drug screen was horrible.  I was treated like I was a convict.  I had to empty my pockets into a lockbox and I get that.  Then get a cup and pee into it and set it on a shelf.  I had 2 minutes and then they were coming in.  Before starting the test I had to rinse my hands off.  I asked where the soap was I was told just use the water.  I then explained that I had to make a BM and I was asked if I could do it afterwards.  I said I would try.  Well let me tell you that didn’t work out.  I really had to go so I got them what they needed and then took care of my other matter quickly.  I had to open the door and show them everything, no flush.  I explained that I still needed to do paperwork.  The bitch didn’t even let me do that.  So there I am with my butt not wiped, having to go back to work.  I was not happy and made a nice scene about it when I returned to the office.  Not that anything will happen. 

Tomorrow I have to go get finger printed and honestly I am not thrilled about that.  I understand that I work with sensitive data.  They say it’s to prove your not a criminal but you could request a criminal history report and that would tell you the same thing.  So that will be tons of fun.

The guy I was telling you was cute, well he is and he is ripped.  However, he’s sporting some facial hair and that is kind of a turn off for me. Also turns out his last day is Friday so I have to really grasp things from him.  I’ve already had a talk with my new boss and explained to him that this is all new to me.  Turns out being a boss is new to him.  He looks like a pompous arrogant prick and walks around with a red face most of the time.  I hope we get along, today he seemed nice. 

Just learning the systems, logins, etc. is a bit of a chore.  I should find out my hours tomorrow.  We have to have coverage from 7am until 5pm and with 3 people to do it I think we shouldn’t have a problem.  I like early so maybe I will luck out and get super early hours which would be nice. 

Payroll is done by direct deposit only.  They can only deposit into 1 bank account.  That means that I will have to close 1 account and I’m going to close my checking account.  I am having the funds deposited into what used to be my late partners account.  Keeping that account open and fee free is the best just in case any other checks should roll in, it will be easy to cash them.  Once that bank finds out he is dead they will not be happy with me.  However, it’s a join account so for all intents and purposes it’s legally mine.

Oh speaking of money, turns out there is a salary freeze so no pay raises.  I balked about that because I wasn’t informed prior to accepting the job.  The lady that hired me told me that all of us are underpaid and she has left orders that they reevaluate our salaries based on our performance.  She told me to go on-line and do salary comparisons and bring that data in so that I would have some leverage.  So looks like I will have to take what I asked for and like it for a while.  I’m still thankful to have a job and that they met my requirements.

I got a call from a School District that I interviewed with.  They offered me the job that I was turned down for.  This would be in my own back yard but they want me to live on $30,000.00 per year.  I told them sorry but I’ve already got a higher paying job, thanks for considering me. 

The other Law Firm I interviewed with has begun checking my references.  So I anticipated an offer from them within a couple days.  I know they are going to be low ball and it’s a job I could do w/o any worries or a learning curve.  I wouldn’t be growing my skills I would be stagnate and while it’s nice to be comfortable, a challenge gives you something to broaden your skills set and makes you even more valuable.  I want to be comfortable but at the same time I kind of think I owe it to myself to keep what I have.  I am waiting to hear their number because I am interested but I don’t believe I will take it, unless something goes drastically wrong between now and then, which I don’t anticipate happening. 

Why is it you look for a job and apply, then you get a job and all of a sudden you get multiple offers after you have already accepted?  It’s like where were you a month ago?

In short the day was fast moving and went pretty well. 

As for comments on my blog, all comments are set for me to review prior to publishing them.  That way if anyone wants privacy I can give it to them.  However, there is only 1 person who comments.  :)

Well off to enjoy the evening and get ready for another day of fun at the farm.  Talk with you peeps later.

20 July 2014

Last day of unemployment

Very hard to believe that today is my last day of being unemployed.  I keep wondering is this real life?  You know it will all sink in tomorrow morning when the alarm clock goes off way too early in the morning. 

Today I managed to visit the grocery store.  They decided to rearrange things again.  I left w/o mayo because I couldn’t find it.  I thought about making my lunch and got some lunch meat but then I also bought pre-made sandwiches.  Looks like I can take my pick now.  I spent way too much money and didn’t come home with a lot, which is a recurring theme when you talk about the grocery store.

I visited Sam’s and got some paper towels, cat food and some Mucinex.  It was only 3 items but it still cost $70.  Nothing appears to be cheap any longer.

I had to move the litter box back into the middle of the living room, because Big Boy peed on the carpet again.  I got that cleaned up along with a couple accidents that happened.  Steam cleaning is my life and I think most people who have carpet and cats probably sing the same song. 

I wanted to get some ink for my printer but never made it back out to the office supply store.  Just as well, I need to save some money plus I am not out just yet.  I did manage to write some fan letters today and hope that I will get some autographed photos back of a couple of my favorite actors.

I picked up a Birthday card for one of my friends who will be turning 65 on Saturday.  He works in IT as well so I thought a computer themed card would go well.  I’m mailing it tomorrow and I know he will have it in a day or two at most.  We talked today via text and he told me that it’s really going to be a challenge for me.  I think he has doubts like I do if this will be a long term thing and I will succeed, but I will never know if I don’t try.

I have managed to get all of the cleaning done and most of the laundry done.  I wasn’t able to get to my bathmat but I guess that is what next weekend is for.  As a bonus I was able to polish my shoes and they look really good.

I finished the other 1/2 of the pizza and now am deciding if I want Frozen Yogurt, Gellato or Cake for desert.  I still have to pass out the kids snacks and get ready for bed.  My bigger hope is that I actually get some sleep tonight because tomorrow and the days ahead are certainly going to be quite the challenge. 

It seems like the only thing missing in all of this is my late partner.  I really wish I could celebrate this victory with him.  I know he is here in spirit.  I can hear him in my head saying you can do this.  God gave you this job for a reason.  Don’t doubt yourself and don’t shy away from a challenge.  So we will see how things go.

I filed my unemployment claim for last week.  I will have to tell them next week that I went back to work this week and then I should be done with them.  Weeks start on Sunday with regards to unemployment so it’s pretty easy to keep track of.  I pray that I never have to collect unemployment again.

Since my luck seems to be changing for the better, I took a chance and picked up 2 lottery tickets.  The grocery store has a game going where you can win some serious cash.  So I am playing that.  It’s like McDonald’s Monopoly but with grocery items.  You get 1 game piece, which has 3 stickers in it just for shopping.  Then if you pick up a bonus item you get additional game pieces.  I’m hoping that I can win something decent.  I’m not looking to retire off of winnings but that would be a nice perk.  I would be happy with being able to build up my savings again and possibly pay off the house.

Not sure if I will feel like blogging tomorrow night, so if you don’t see an update don’t worry.  I am going to try my best to be able to share how the 1st day went but there is a small list of people that want to hear from me by phone when I get home.  Plus I have no idea what I am even going to have for supper. 

Talk with you peeps later!  Thanks for your readership.  Jude thanks for seeing me through this rough time, your comments help and at least I know 1 person is reading this. :)

19 July 2014

1 Day Left

Friday after I got the good news I treated myself to Olive Garden.  Today I made it to see the movie Tammy, which was okay nothing special.  I was surprised at the cost to get in these days it used to be $7.50 and now it’s $10.50, easier to rent from home on Amazon and what I am willing to pay is not more than $7.  I rented Oh Vey My Son Is Gay from Pay Per View.  It was okay as well, nothing special and not worth the $5 I spent on it.  Tonight I went to see some old friends that run a restaurant.  They got out of business and after 2 years had the itch and are back in again.  I enjoyed a nice pizza and got some free bread pudding.  I ate 1/2 of the pizza and the other half is in the fridge.  I took the Bread Pudding to go.  It’s White Chocolate w/ Raspberry’s. 

I didn’t sleep much at all last night, too keyed up from the good news and like a million things running through my head.  I already did research on the guy who has my position now, holy cow he is a twink if there every was one and he is wicked cute!  Not exactly sure how much I will learn in 2 weeks from staring at him.  I can only hope his personality is as good as his looks, if so we should hit it off fine. 

After spreading the good news to friends, I sat down and read the job description.  I know I was snapped up because I was a bargain but I really feel like I am being taken advantage of here.  Who can’t use extra money?  I don’t want to spoil things but I’d like to ask for $5k more, just to make me feel like I am well taken care of.  If I move forward with that and get it, then I am much more certain about keeping the house.  I may let things play out and see how it goes.  I am also interested to see what the other firm comes back with.  I don’t want to jump ship mid stream but my friend told me tonight take the job that you will enjoy the most.  Nah, I’d rather have the money!

I did manage to get the carpet cleaned and while I was out at the movies and eating, someone puked.  Yeah it always happens that way.  Those little balls of fur are quite a handful to take care of.  If there weren’t so many of them my life would be easier not to mention the cash I would have saved over the years.  I am worried about them adjusting to the new routine.  Cats are really resistant to change and if you screw up their routine they can rebel.  However, its only been 2 months I am hopeful they will snap back without any problems. 

I am working on laundry, one of my normal weekend chores.  Tomorrow will be the Grocery Store and Sam’s.  I may also venture to an Office Supply store.  I could use some ink for ye old printer.  The Black XL is starting to dwindle, with all of the letters to my old employer, printing of resumes and cover letters, and having to print out job applications I really feel like the XL cartridge suits me quite well.  I robbed the paper from my late partners color laser printer.  I plan on using it but need a table to put it on and then have to shop for ink.  It takes wax ink.  The ink comes in cubes and it is uber expensive.  So the whole idea is use it wisely.  I could leave it upstairs and turn his old PC into another PC for me but honestly I am in no hurry.  I wanted to get in and start cleaning his office up but interviews kind of took up my week and I am not complaining.  I can do more with a job than I can a clean room.  I do feel like some of his things shouldn’t be touched, sort of like a shrine.  However, that is a stage of grief.  I mean I know he is gone and have accepted it even though I don’t like it. 

He has a CPAP Machine and a Power Chair/Scooter that I would love to get rid of.  The only problem is I don’t know where to turn.  I want to sell those items.  If I wanted to give them away I am sure I could find a taker much quicker.  There is a medical supply house by my new job.  I may venture over there and talk with those folks or give them a call, I suspect they will be able to point me in the right direction.

There is a lot more stuff to get rid of.  A local couple advertised a car for sale by owner.  When they went for a test drive both of them got shot.  I want to avoid any more drama or trauma.  I am only looking for good or positive things to happen.  I’ve been through far too much negative.  This job hopefully is a sign that things are going to start looking up. 

Time to deal with laundry, empty cat boxes and work my way to bed.  I will be taking some extra medicine tonight so hopefully I sleep like a baby.  Enjoy what is left of the weekend.  I will talk with you peeps later.

18 July 2014


Today I went to the interview for the Networking Position.  I filled out the usual paperwork and then went through the interview.  The whole thing took about 20 minutes.  The person interviewing me knows that the position is way beyond my skill level.  With that in mind she told me to show up on Monday morning and be prepared to go back to work. 

I was stunned and literally fell off my chair.  This place is a debt collection firm so I was up front and told them about my bankruptcy.  They did some checking and it won’t be a deal breaker.  I still have to pass a background check and a drug screen, which shouldn’t be a problem.  I did forget to tell them that my identity was stolen, but I figure I can always mention it on Monday and they are going to figure that out when they run the credit report. 

Now for the really fun part.  Turns out the person I am replacing is leaving at the end of the month, along with the lady who hired me which is my boss for 2 weeks.  They hired all new people and we are going to be crammed into a conference room for 2 weeks.  Monday is all about onboarding, I suspect completing paperwork going through orientation, etc.

I am thrilled to death to be able to go back to work.  However, as I mentioned earlier this job is way over my head.  I really feel like I am being setup to fail.  I know that there is a huge growth opportunity here and that if I can master this job that will only further aid me down the road.  I am way under budget for what they wanted to spend.  In fact I found out that I am really short changing myself when it comes to money.  I can’t say for certain that I will have enough to cover all of my bills.  The biggest one being the mortgage, the rest of them I am not worried about.  So I am going in with an open mind and hoping & praying that it all works out for the best.

Meanwhile the law firm I was at yesterday reached out to me.  They are already starting their process.  I expect that I will have an offer from them by early next week.  I’m keeping them as my ace in the hole.  The thing is I know I can do that job.  It just requires me to be away from home for 2 weeks straight.  The pay will be less but I am told that if I really preform that within 6 months to a year they will reward me with a salary adjustment.  It’s a promise that isn’t written on a piece of paper.  I want to see how the first few days go at the new job and then I can make an educated decision.  Honestly, since this other place is willing to take a chance on me I really don’t want to blow it. 

There is some confliction and lots of doubt.  However, if everything turns to mush, I know that I can always go back on unemployment and at that point I will have to fall behind in house payments.  As it stands now I have already scraped together enough money to make the August payment, so I am at least good until September.

My other worry is my sleep schedule.  It’s been all over the place and I am not so sure that I will easily adjust to not being able to take a nap.  However, I am really sure I will sleep well tonight and probably tomorrow night.  It’s Sunday night that I will be a mess and having anxiety over.  My start time is a 1/2 hour earlier than my last job.  I suspect or rather hope that I will get off a 1/2 hour earlier which will of course put me in the heart of rush hour.  I am eager to see where this leads and hopefully be able to put my fears to rest and not worry so much.

I had to cancel my therapy appointment which was on Monday.  I’m going to see how the first few days go and if I can’t get an idea or feel for what my regular hours will be.  That of course will help me decide on what to do with therapy.  I am making great progress with the grief that has been inside of me for over a year.  I really don’t want to stop therapy but that may be what has to happen.  Right now there is so much that is up in the air.  I don’t function to well with up in the air – I like decisions and schedules. 

Thank God I will be a working man as of Monday!  So long unemployment didn’t like you and won’t miss you or your rules!  I hope everyone has a great weekend.  I’m going to be busy with cleaning and shopping but it’s all good.  I may even take a pie eating trip, haven’t quite decided.  The next showing of Tammy is at 10:05 pm tonight.  I think I will be headed to the movies.  I’ve denied myself for far too long, playing the poor person.  I can’t go hog wild but I can certainly afford $7.50 for a movie.  I do still have to try to keep costs down.  I suppose that will always be part of life. 

Once the job jitters settle down and I get some confidence I will be going back on the market looking for Mr. Right.  I hope that I can find him and who knows maybe he will have money.  At least I can dream.

Talk with you all later.   

17 July 2014

No family

So my brother called to check on me.  I broke the news to him against my will.  Then I asked if he could help me with the house payment.  I knew what he would say but I needed to give him a chance.  He disappointed me as I expected.  

I asked him if he thought it was okay for me to lose everything.  Without hesitation he said you can move back home.  I told him I'd sooner sleep on the street than move back home.  I told him to get that idea out of his mind, it will never happen!

He just reaffirmed my beliefs that he is in life for what will benefit him.  What a selfish bastard.  Right now I have no plans on communicating with him at all.  When I lost my partner I did lose everything.  I don't have any rich friends and my savings is just about gone.

I suppose regardless of what it pays I will be forced to take the 1st job that comes along. I just hope everything turns out like I want it to.

Family is overrated!

Something I do not want

I just finished up my interview for today.  I felt like I was in a Star Trek movie.  I parked my car walked into the lobby, had to provide my name to the security guard.  He took my photo and printed a plastic id badge that I had to wear.  He opened a gate that allowed me access to a bank of elevators and he told me which elevator to take.  The doors were open and the elevator knew which floor I was supposed to visit.  There were no buttons in the elevator, which is true of all of the elevators in the building.  I gathered that your access badge tells the elevator where your allowed to go and will only let you on those specific floors.  I don’t know what you do if say your allowed on floors 2, 10, 15 and 36 how do you tell it where you want to go.  There were screens that told you which floor you were on and where you were going.  The damn thing talks doors open you are now on floor xx and doors closing, going down or going up.  Just a little to techy for me.

The interview went very well, so much so that I believe they are going to offer me the job.  There would be 2 back to back weeks that I would have to travel for training.  I would be away from home and it would be a considerable distance – so it would involve a hotel.  I’m not certain that Big Boy would make it 2 full weeks w/o medication.  The 3rd week of training I would be back home and getting to know my environment locally.  I would be the sole IT person for the office and there are about 100 people to support.  Which would be easy.  However, they want you to use your cell phone for things like e-mail and after hours on-call.  They will pay $90 per month for that, which would cover my bill in full.  They charge for parking.  They want to offer me about what I was making at my last job for this job.  They said after a year I could potentially get an adjustment in pay but to start out it would be low wages. 

The travel is my first concern but I can get over that pretty easy.  The pay is my overall biggest concern, I can’t work for what I was making and then have them deduct for parking.  That would be working for less wages, who does that?  I mean I know some people take a cut in pay just to go back to work but it’s not something I can afford to do.  I am so conflicted. 

The reason why I believe the job is mine is the manager kept saying how impressed she was with my skills and experience.  She said that she is finishing up interviews this week and someone would be in touch next week.  They will start checking references right away and then go deeper into my background.  Who says those types of things if they are not planning on extending an offer?  This was a job that I really didn’t want in the first place and just entertained myself by going.  I didn’t expect them to make me an offer, I figured I would scare them away with my salary requirements.  When I told them I was negotiable is when the glow just came over her and I guess she thought she could get me for cheap because I was desperate. 

Granted if the offer comes in time and I accept it would mean that I could live here another month w/o any problems.  However, after that I think I would fall short on money.  Again, I am so conflicted I do not know what to do. 

My hope is that tomorrow I get the same vibes that I got today and they actually offer me a job at what I requested.  Then this won’t be an issue.  However, for now I am still unemployed so I am still looking. 

I know there is the possibility that I could accept and just keep looking but I really want to be done with this.  I am looking for a long term home and not just a job bur rather a career.  I want an employer that takes care of me and for that I will take care of them.  A symbiotic relationship.

In other news, I got my vacation pay and a nasty letter back from my former employer.  They didn’t even bother to deduct taxes just wrote me a check out of their generic everyday operations account and called it payroll.  I’ve deposited it and just hope that it clears w/o a problem.

Talk with you peeps later.

16 July 2014

I saw a sign

I sure didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.  I was up until a little after 1:00 am.  There was nothing going today so no pressure.  However, Jumper saw it differently and tried to wake me up multiple times.  He finally roused the choir and that is when I let him out of my room and went back to bed.  I got up at 11am.  I fed the children and then made myself a sandwich.  I mean might as well fast forward to lunch, breakfast is over. 

I got me a shower and then head out to the bank.  I closed my savings account and the lady asked me why.  I told her I need the money in my checking account in order to be able to pay the monthly fees you charge, I lost my job.  She told me about a place hiring.  It’s not in my line of work but I appreciated the tip.  I was kind of sad to do it but at the end of the day I really wasn’t getting much for them holding $100 ransom.  If the balance fell below that yep you guessed it another fee.  I’m fee allergic.

A call came in for a job I applied for last night.  I knew the pay was low and that chances are I would be weeded out.  I called the lady back and she seems to think I would be qualified for a network position.  I explained that networking isn’t my forte but she really liked my resume and talked me into at least coming in for an interview.  So another interview to attend on Friday.  This week is by far the most active week yet.  4 interviews in one week!  The job I applied for doesn’t pay what I want.  The job she talked me into pays considerably more but I suppose it depends upon experience.  If I can at least get what I asked for then I will gladly take the job and prepare to learn some new stuff, which will only help me in the end.  Their user base is 99 and that should be a cake walk.  In my last job I supported a much larger user base. 

I managed to make it to the grocery store.  I decided that I would go to the expensive store because it would be something different.  I was after chocolate cake and I got it.  I loaded up the cart with a lot of stuff but feel like I left empty.  I also managed to forget mayo which is the one thing I really wanted.  The other thing was bottled water and I got that.  There are some unique Stouffers dishes that they carry that the bargain store doesn’t.  Like Zitti and a Parmasean Topped Lasagna.  I got a deep dish pizza and some Frozen Yogurt.  Had a hot guy following me for a while but it was only because we were walking in the same general direction.  I had high hopes for a second but that was it.  After the store I headed to gas up the car because of the extra interviews I will need it.  The total came to $27.77 that is 3 seven’s in a row.  I took that as a good sign, maybe just maybe things are actually going to come together after all.

Came home, put it all away and then got my interview clothes washed.  I completed the application for tomorrows interview and got that sent off.  I put down what I wanted and thought for sure they would call back and cancel but thus far I haven’t heard a word out of them.  I also found out that they will validate parking so I’m driving over, much to my dismay.  It will only mean that I get home a little quicker.  It’s in a very congested part of town where parking is at a premium, there are lots of one way streets and everyone is in a hurry, including the meter police.  It’s an area I try to avoid at all costs.

I was anticipating hearing from the place I was at yesterday but not a word.  I might be overly paranoid but I think we are done.  I still am trying to keep an open mind but I would have figured that the HR person would have at least sent the job descriptions for the other positions to me.  All I can do is wait and see. 

I didn’t get any alerts so I stayed away from the post office today.  I need to stop by tomorrow to mail a couple letters.  I have escalated the issue I am having getting my late partners medical records.  I am still being nice but at the same time expressing my displeasure with getting the run around and playing what I call Paper Ping Pong. It’s very annoying!  I think the hope is that I will give up.  They obviously don’t know who they are dealing with.

So I think that is a wrap on Wednesday.  I just hope I am right about the 777 being a good sign.  It would be nice to go into the weekend knowing that I have a job to report to on Monday but that might be pushing it a bit.  I will be sure to keep you posted.  Oh I called about my unemployment for last week and they are now paying me since I reported in.  It never hurts to ask, the worst anyone can say is no.

Talk with you peeps later. 

15 July 2014

Interview week

Yesterday I had the interview with the local municipality.  It was a little difficult to find their city hall – nothing is numbered or labeled.  So I just took my best guess and turns out I was accurate.

I was welcomed by the lady the arranged everything and then brought into a room where I met their present IT person and some bad ass manager who just kept looking at me like I stole his lunch money.  I could tell he was quite impressed with his self.  The current IT guy I noticed had a wedding ring on and he was really hot.  I did fine on the spoken part of the interview.  The little hottie IT guy prepared a test and I know I bombed on that.  It was made perfectly clear that you have to be a jack and master of everything IT – there isn’t any escalation paths.  So basically you can either do the job or your can’t.  This is way over my head and I’m really surprised they called me in for an interview.  I would like to expand my knowledge base but not trial by fire.  This would be one of those jobs where I would have to be looking over my shoulder constantly and wondering if they are going to fire me.  I don’t believe they will choose me and if they do I really don’t want it.  It was also tacky they didn’t give much time for the interview its’ self they had another candidate waiting as I left.  He was in a full 3 piece suit.  Whoopee Doo!

Today was the interview that I have been longing for.  I understood that I would be meeting with a managers boss.  Turns out I met with the same person I spoke to on the phone.  The next interview will be with her boss.  So it went for 2 and 1/2 hours.  She told me that there are 4 people that she wants to bring back for 2nd interviews and right now I am one of those 4 but I am at the bottom of the list.  She asked me where I was months ago and I said I was looking but didn’t see your ad.  I opened up quite a bit and short of getting on my knees I begged for the job, multiple times.  Turns out my competition is pretty steep so it sounds like if I get this it will just be dumb luck or because I was 2nd choice.  I was asked if I would mind coming on as a consultant rather than a Full Time Employee.  I said if it’s going to get my foot in the door I am open to it, but much prefer to be a FTE.  I was told that IT likes to sample people and see if they are a good fit.  You may get moved around but if you fit well into a job and management sees that then they will make you an offer and bring you on board.  So the wind was really let out of my sails.  I am still in the running and in fact she told me that there were other open positions that I would be perfect for.  So HR is supposed to talk with me about those.  If they pay as much as this position then I am all for it, otherwise it would be a no go.  The commute is a little longer than I thought and I would need every penny of what I asked for in order to be able to justify the daily commute.  There was a point in the interview where I disclosed my age, I wasn’t asked directly but there was an inquiry in a round about way.  I also disclosed the fact that I am gay, that wasn’t directly asked but I felt at home and decided to let it all hang out, so to speak.  I was told there isn’t a problem with that and they actually offer same sex couples benefits.  This company is very employee focused and they take care of their own, which is so uncommon in todays world.  My hope to become a part of this organization still exists but based on today my hopes are no longer as high as they originally were.  I did get some feedback finally on how I can do things different, which was nice.

While I was at my interview I got a call setting up another interview for Thursday.  It’s with a Law Firm and I’m not too eager at all about this.  It’s a first line role and we have yet to discuss pay but I seriously doubt they will want to pay what I need in order to make it.  Still its’ an interview and it will help me hone my interviewing skills.  Plus I suppose there is a chance that this will be a good fit in everyway. 

My demand letter was delivered today and it went over like a lead balloon.  I should have my money by the end of the week.  They are not too happy with me but I had to use harsh words in order to get them to realize you can’t keep putting this off, I want my damn money.  They are calling it an “oversight”.  Right like the way they pay all of their bills late.  I was just another creditor to them after I left which is why things got shoved to the side.  I don’t believe for one second it was an oversight.  They are going to ask me to stop communicating with them, as we have no further business.  Well, right we don’t.  So long as the check doesn’t bounce.  They have been known to write bad checks as well, so I’m not officially done with them until the check actually clears, then yes we are done and I have no plans on bothering them again.  However, I’ve made sure they will never ever forget me.  To boot I finally got my reference check today, turns out my old boss was a little defensive but overall provided a decent reference.  That makes me happy so at least I know if I didn’t get something it wasn’t because of something they did.  It did take a while for them to reach him which may be a turn off to some prospective employers.  It will be nice to be able to cut the apron strings and put them in the past.  Which is what I have been trying to do since late May.

I checked on my unemployment and turns out I only got paid for 1 week instead of 2.  So looks like I will have to call those folks tomorrow to find out what gives.  I suspect they will tell me that is just the way it is, but I am at least going to try. 

I am also still fighting to get my late partners medical records.  Now I am told that there wasn’t a HIPAA form submitted with the request.  So I asked where do you procure that from.  I was told oh the doctors office can give you that.  So I called, turns out they have no idea what I am talking about.  They took a message and are going to ask the doctor to call me.  Well if he does call and he is willing to talk with me, he could save me the money by simply telling me if there was something that my partner was diagnosed with that I didn’t know about.  I’m on this little fact finding mission so I can determine if his death was natural or a suicide.  I believe it was natural but I can’t ask him the only other person that would know is his doctor.  My guess is this will turn into a big ugly mess.  I’m not stopping until I either get answers or my heart stops.  I want to know and I am entitled to know.

Tomorrow’s agenda includes going to the bank to close out my savings account that I have had since I was like 19 and get the money transferred into my checking account.  The checking account requires a direct deposit and the bank is going to start to charge a monthly fee.  My staying with them will depend upon how long it will take to find a job.  If I don’t see an end in sight I will pull the plug and close the checking account as well.  I also have to visit the grocery store.  I’ve managed to stave it off for 2 days but tomorrow I have to go, I’m running out of things and there is no point in being desperate and hungry at the same time. 

Well that’s it.  Time to empty litter boxes, pass out snacks and call it a night.  It’s been a very long and trying day.  I hope that this all comes to a successful conclusion quickly.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

13 July 2014

Replacement Bladder

Howdy all!

I hope that your weekend went well.  I’ve been on Cloud 9 since late Friday afternoon.  I was proud that I completed the training, which was just a matter of entering my information into a computer and listening to someone talk for 10 minutes.  That’s it.  They have done away with the 4 week reporting so instead you have to visit a special job website and preform one of a myriad of things from writing a resume to looking for a job.  One time ever 28 days or else your unemployment stops.  They also talked to us about keeping a job log and how Unemployment is now doing audits and if you send in an incomplete log it is the same as if you didn’t send in a log.  Your unemployment will stop and they will ask for all of their money back.  Really?  Your out of work and they expect you to pay money back?  I guess it’s those few bad apples that have spoiled it for the rest of us.  Right now I have no worries because I haven’t been audited.  My job log is up to date, I just don’t keep the address of where my resume goes because most of them are submitted on line.  Oh yeah, that is the other thing you have to mix up your search.  So contact 1 employer by phone, 1 employer by e-mail and 1 employer by US Mail.  The method of contact has to be different but you are only required to contact 3 employers per week.  If they see that all of your contact methods are the same that week will be eliminated and they will want their money back.  Yeah, sounds difficult because it’s designed to motivate you to get a job and not sit on your ass and collect unemployment. 

So why am I on cloud 9?  Well it’s because we are closer to Tuesday.  That is when I meet with what I think will be my future employer.  I’ve got really good feelings about it and I just hope that my hopes are not up only to be dashed again.  I just can’t shake the good vibrations I have gotten and I really feel it with all of my heart & soul.  Again, I hope that I am not disappointed.   

I put the final touches on my letter to my late partner.  I got some tears but it they soon passed.  It’s 10 pages, imagine that me going on and on, that never happens!  If my therapist makes me read this to her that I am sure will invoke some tears.  This also helped me get on Cloud 9 because I feel a sense of relief.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my vacation pay and I decided to issue a final demand letter telling my former employer either you pay up in 5 days or I will see you in small claims court.  I also put them on notice that if they provide a bad reference about me or try to interfere with my ability to gain re-employment I would sue them.  I wrote it on Friday night.  I had 2nd thoughts on Saturday.  I looked and looked at it, reading and re-reading it.  Walked away.  Mailed it this morning.  They should have it by Tuesday.  I do need the money but it’s the principal of the matter they made me 2 promises and have already renigged on 1 of them.  I am not letting them get out of paying me what is rightfully mine.  Will I actually take them to court, yes.  It will be more expensive but their attorney has high moral and ethical values so if I subpoena that person, I know for a fact they will not lie in open court to risk their law license as well as respect from the judicial community.  That plus my last check stub are my aces in the hole. 

I also thought about playing the “gay” card and screaming discrimination.  Then I thought about it and well I’m gay and the other person is a Lesbian or at the very least Bi-Sexual.  It does look like a witch hunt.  They have one Lesbian worker left and the only reason why she still has her job is because her daughter works there and her daughter is sleeping with the boss.  If it weren’t for that I am fairly confident that she would have been let go either long before me or shortly after I left.  So there is grounds for discrimination.  I’ve stated my case and mailed it off to the appropriate agency for review.  I asked them to call me so we can talk about it before any formal charges are filed.  If I in fact have a case, well then I will pursue it, chances are high that if it’s strong enough my former employer will want to settle out of court and that could be very good for me.  At least I am trying and not wondering what if.  I mean if you wonder you will never know.  Action speaks louder than words.

I never made it to see Tammy but think I will be trying to fit that in this week.  Especially if things go well on Tuesday.  I mean if I am offered a job I can imagine screaming louder than if I was having an orgasm.  I will be very happy and beside myself, not to mention it will be a huge relief. 

Mr. Big Boy seems to be doing okay.  I haven’t seen him pee in days.  I’m fairly certain he is going based on how things look in the litter box.  He tends to hold it for as long as he can and then it just all comes out in one huge puddle, which clumps into very large rock type formations.  I’d like to see him pee just to ease my mind.  TAZ has also been extra clingy this weekend.  I know he was sick.  If I feed him now, in an hour or less he wants more.  I just can’t do that.

Right now I am going to wrap this up, clean those litter boxes and settle in to watch The Shield.  It’s a show that either is or was on ABC.  I found it on Amazon Prime and there are many seasons.  I am currently on season 2.  It’s a police drama series and it’s very compelling and addictive to watch.  You think things are going one way and they do a 360 on you almost every time, I never see it coming it’s always like a slap in the face.  So that has occupied most of my weekend.

My replacement bladder for the steam cleaner showed up today.  I need to clean the floors but just don’t feel motivated enough.  I am getting to it this week but it just isn’t happening today.  I learned a valuable lesson, don’t let laundered clothes sit in the dryer more than 1 day tops.  Otherwise, they smell funky and so will your washer.

Happy trails…talk with you peeps later.


10 July 2014

I think things are looking UP

Being some what apprehensive and anxious I sat down last night and started on the letter to my late partner.  It was very emotional and I eventually broke down.  Then I was able to write more.  Thus far I am up to 8 pages.  It felt like I was talking to him, just communicating information and bringing him up to speed.  I totally understand why my therapist suggested this.  I need to go back and finish it but probably won’t until the weekend when I have a bit more time and freedom. 

Today I got my unemployment check up on me call.  The guy said I sounded like a recording.  I get that a lot.  Anyway, he went down the list from the letter that was sent to me.  They asked for 3 places that I have applied to in the last 4 weeks.  It was easy, just go down the list and presto done.  He called at 8:45am and I of course was up at 5am because I couldn’t sleep.  I was nervous about the call, I don’t know why but I was. 

The mail today brought me a notice from the unemployment people that said until I show up in person they won’t be paying me a dime.  Thankfully I will be showing up tomorrow, but that almost got nixed. 

I got a call from what I think will be my next job.  They scheduled an in person interview as the manager told me they would be.  She had an opening on Friday at 1.  I almost took it but I figure if I keep rescheduling it is only going to hurt my bank account in the end.  So I skipped past it and we went to Monday and just as we were winding things up I realize crap I have therapy on Monday.  So we moved to Tuesday.  I hated that, I’ve always been told take the first date and time that is given, it shows you are eager.  Well I’ve got stuff planned and they are not my only lead at this point.  I honestly don’t think it hurt me one bit.  I am really pumped about it and very much looking forward to it.  My hope is we meet on Tuesday and if an offer isn’t extended in person it will be within a couple of days.

Meanwhile I was going about my business and checking my e-mail.  A job I applied for almost a month ago with a local municipality sent me and e-mail.  I figured ah it’s a rejection.  Nope they want to interview me as well.  It’s set for after hours on Monday.  They chose it and I just confirmed.  I’m qualified to do at least 1/2 of the job.  The other half would be trial by fire and that is not the ideal way for me to learn but when you do learn that way, it sticks with you.

I was lazy for most of the day and finally did manage to get a couple hours of rest.  Then I hoisted myself up and out I went.  Got momma’s medicine (she will be thrilled), picked up the mail, picked up my medicine,picked up cat food and then went to an upscale grocery store.  I was looking for Ground Beef and almost walked out with Ground Lamb.  That would have made for interesting Tacos.  I only had Breakfast and I was starving.  Saw a cute bagger boy and a lot of food that I normally don’t see at the bargain grocery store.  I walked out with some premade Mexican Cornbread, Ground Chuck (he was tasty) and a Two Layer White Chocolate Raspberry Cake.  $16, the cake was the most expensive thing and at that it was $9. 

Came home unloaded, unpacked and started cooking and making a mess.  Meanwhile the children were bugging me for food and I had just fed them 45 minutes ago.  I sware they want to eat every time the wind blows.  Speaking of which I was watching Rookie Blue tonight and TAZ started puking and after that was done he rested for a minute and climbed in the litter box and it came out the other end.  After he was done with that he jumped up on the couch to be with me, which is very much out of character for him.  I comforted him and dug the litter out of his back paws.  He wanted to clean himself up and I told him that will just make you sick again.  I got him to rest and we watched TV together.  Kind of a nice evening. 

My nerves are on fire now because of tomorrow.  I will be going to the unemployment office.  I decided to take public transportation because it will be much easier than me risking wrecking my car trying to parallel park and slug a meter.  I have to do almost a mile of walking but I’m up for it.  If it all works out I will be early and when all is said and done I will be out $4.50 – which is reasonable considering parking isn’t cheap.  I have a friend who works at this office and I am nervous that I might run into him, we haven’t talked in a while.  When I was much younger and over at his house he stuck his hand in my pants, while I was working on his computer.  It was awkward at best and he still identifies as straight.  My late partner warned me about him being after my body and I told him he was nuts, but turns out he was right.  This guy is as gay as I am, I think the only difference is he either hasn’t had sex or hasn’t had much sex.  Hopefully I am in and out and we don’t bump into each other.  If it happens I will just play it cool and see what happens.  He obviously won’t jump my bones while he is at work because he would get fired.  I actually thought about seeking him out but from what I remember his hygiene was questionable at best.  Once this little meeting is over with I will feel much better. 

I don’t want to jinx anything but I really feel pretty good about next Tuesday.  The manager I spoke with really liked me and I really like the culture in the way it’s been described.  So I think it will be a win – win or so I hope.

I did hammer out a letter to my old employer about my vacation pay.  I haven’t mailed it just yet.  When I figured out how much money it was it’s like really do you want to fight for it?  Were talking like $200 and that is before they take out taxes.  Part of me says fight for it because it’s yours and the other part of me says it’s a small amount of money let it go.  Since I am conflicted I am not doing anything at the moment.  I hope with a little time I will be able to make a decision or maybe just maybe the money will show up.  It would help pay for the garbage disposal.

Finally, I did what I have been dreading to do all day long.  Pay bills.  I have enough money to subsist for a while minus paying the mortgage payment.  However tapping into my savings and seeing it be reduced slowly but surely is extremely scary.  I am more than eager to get back to work, then there is no jeopardy at the moment for the house and I can avoid a huge mess.  I just hope and pray that it all goes the way I think it will.  If so I should be a very happy camper.  Stay tuned and we will go on this joy ride together. 

Time to wrap things up and call it a night.  Got lots of TV to watch.  NY MED, First 48 and a movie on HBO Called Kidnapped for Christ.  It was put on by Mike C Manning who I have a mega crush on and he got Lance Bass to produce it.  It’s supposed to be very good.  It’s about kids telling their parents they are gay and the parents signing there kids up for some camp where men come and snatch you out of your own bed at night and when they let you see the light of day you have no freaking idea where you are at and when or if you will ever be sent home.  Who would think a parent could or would do that to their own child.  Sexuality is something we are born with, if you don’t like it is a non negotiable change.  Sure there are people who have claimed to change but what are they really changing?  Their habits and outward appearance that is all.  Those desires for that hot guy or girl are still there deep inside of them festering like a boil about to burst.  They either learn to repress their emotions and desires or they burst at the seams and go full bore for what they really want.  Each day I realize a little bit more that it’s perfectly okay to be gay.  Even though I am pretty well adjusted to the idea it’s nice to feel more and more reassurance.

Talk with you peeps later.  Have a super, awesome, amazing, fantastic, outrageous and relaxing weekend!

08 July 2014

Semi Productive Day

I had one of those sleepless nights, woke up at 5 am after turning in around 12 midnight.  There was no point in trying to go back to sleep, it just wasn’t going to happen.  I’m keyed up about my vacation pay that I am due.  With the research I have done my only recourse is to take my former employer to small claims court.  That will cost me money and then how do I prove my case, outside of saying he promised to pay.  I have nothing in writing.  I’m continuing to research the matter and then figuring out how I am going to approach them.  It will no doubt be by letter but it’s all about what you say and how it’s said.  I know that they were going to pay me but for all I know they have had a change of heart.  I mean they promised me a letter of recommendation but now won’t give it to me because I didn’t sign their separation agreement.  This is all 1 sided and that sucks.

I did manage to treat myself today.  I went to IHOP to try their Blueberry Cannoli Pancakes.  They were good, but were no substitute for a real Cannoli.  Those little things take a lot of time and effort not to mention the supplies to make them are not cheap.  There is a bakery a ways from home that we used to visit and we would buy them.  Eat one or two there and take some home.  Problem is one of us would get hungry and go eat them up.  Ah, the good old days.

Anyway, when I walked in I spotted a good looking single guy who had to be in college.  Sipping on his coffee.  He was looking around.  We made eye contact a couple times.  I did the look at him, look away and then look back at him thing.  That clearly didn’t get me any points.  He finished his coffee and left.  At least I got to see a beautiful face and parts of his body.  I noticed lots of good looking guys started strolling in.  I’m like this is my lucky day.  I should get a lottery ticket.  Instead I went to the post office and then to the grocery store. 

They were cleaning shelves and rearranging the store once again, I left and forgot the mayo.  Didn’t get hamburger because they wanted to sell it to me in a jumbo family size package.  I need a little meat not enough to feed the entire town.  I’ve got some frozen, thinking of using that.  Me and my taco craving are getting all worked up. 

Came home, unpacked the groceries and returned a call.  I’ve got 2 phones interviews tomorrow.  The first place called this morning and the 2nd place in the afternoon.  The first job is the one I really want.  The 2nd job well not so much.  Since I didn’t go to my unemployment training thingy last week they didn’t pay me.  So I have rescheduled for Friday.  So not looking forward to it.

I went to Therapy today.  We got the billing issues squared away.  We talked about grief and the stages of it.  I have moved past some of the stages and am still working on others.  I was encouraged to write a letter to my late partner.  Oddly enough it’s something that he told me that he had to do when he was getting divorced.  His therapist recommended it.  I was thinking about writing him one and now I see that it makes perfect sense.  I have so much to say and I know it’s going to bring forth a lot of emotion but that is the sole purpose.  Writing the letter or anything that I do won’t bring him back, he’s not on vacation or out exploring he is deceased.  I get that, but there are many things that I wish I could tell him.  I think the letter is a good idea.  I was planning on writing it tonight or at least starting but time is getting away from me.  I have a carpet to clean, Big Boy and his messes. 

I am hoping for an in person interview so I can wear my expensive shirt out.  I’m not getting all dressed up for the unemployment thing on Friday but I’ll bet you they tell me something like don’t wear jeans to a job interview.  To wish I will reply I don’t I always wear shorts.  I understand they have to address the very basics because there are some people that don’t know better but right now I view it as a complete waste of my time, gas and who knows what I will pay for parking. 

While I was up early this morning I turned on the TV.  I watched the movie called Pedro.  It’s about Pedro Zamora a young man who acquired AIDS from unprotected sex and turned into an Activist.  He was on MTV’s Real World and on the night the last episode aired Pedro passed away.  I learned more about him, but also was thinking of how my life was back then.  Even my late partner liked Pedro.  Pedro and his Partner at the time had a commitment ceremony.  I remember we had talked about having one of those, but who would we invite?  It was a sad movie but also got me to thinking about other people and their struggles.

Okay I guess it’s time to submit and go pass out treats and clean up the mess that has been left for me.  Then find something interesting to watch until which time I pass out.  Lawn Boy is coming tomorrow.  That is about as exciting as it gets here.  Talk with you peeps later.