31 December 2014

How far I have come – The year in review

2014 was a year on the emotional rollercoaster.  Still I managed to make great strides and accomplish what I set out to, which feels really good.

At one point it looked like the world was against me when I lost my job, my savings was drying up and I really was in a bad place emotionally.  I reached out for help and started Counseling, which was free of charge thanks to my awesome insurance. 

My job situation in May I lost my job working for the Ogre.  I went back to work in late July and am fortunate enough to have a job that I enjoy and I make more money and have better benefits.  So I fulfilled my desire to get a new job, which has really changed my outlook on life.  Everyone needs a purpose to get out of bed and everyone needs an income.

I applied for and was approved for a home loan in August.  We closed in October and the house that had the sky high payments is now mine and costing me considerably less each month.  I can see my way clear to the future, which helps.  Unfortunately, the Quit Claim Deed had a mistake on it and I am still battling to get that resolved.  Hopefully that will come together and I can put the matters of the house to rest in January. 

I entered the world of on-line dating and managed to go on my very first ever date around September.  It turned out to be a bust but it was an experience that helped me.  I am still looking for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.  I want to build a future with the right guy and have fun along the way, creating new memories and hopefully getting in some much needed travel for pleasure. 

BLU my Siamese Cat developed a fever of unknown origin in October and despite best efforts he made no progress and I had to let him go.  That was very difficult because we had a very fresh and strong bond.  We got each other and new how to push each others buttons.  He was the noise maker since my late partner passed.  Now the house is all too quiet.  I miss him so much but know that he is no longer suffering.

There are many other little minor things that happened that helped to shape 2014.  This will be a year to remember for good and for bad.  I am anxious to start 2015 and hope that the future remains bright and that I can set some goals and achieve them.  I don’t make resolutions because they don’t work.  I find year long goals work best.  If I make them great and if I don’t it’s not a huge big deal 


The daily post starts here….. 

So I figured I would do a 2 in 1 post.  Kind of sneaky, I know.  Anyway Bear gave me a huge scare last night he was coughing and it looked like he was having serious problems breathing.  All of this of course as I was ready to call it a night and get in bed.  I sat with him for a few minutes and he started that nervous purr to mask his problems.  His breathing changed and he stopped coughing.  Then I asked him if he wanted to sleep with me.  He said yes, but he didn’t quite know how he would make it to my room.  I told him I would carry him and I did.  I spent a little more time with him and rubbed to his belly.  Marvin was jealous and barking for me to get in bed.  I told him to hold his pants I would be right there.  I told Bear that if he needed anything to holler out, I would wake up and I might not be happy about it but I was there for him.  He never bothered me at all.  He was in the same spot this morning that I put him last night.  I don’t view that as a good sign but then again he is lazy. 

As I laid in bed and was thinking about him and praying for him.  It hit me.  He started going outside of the litter box to tell me there is a problem.  Now his coughing is worse and I can see we are making the progression down the death trail.  I know that I will have to part with him, that is inevitable.  However, I hope that we can have a couple more years together.  From the outward signs I see I would say that won’t happen, but then again I am no doctor.  He might need something as simple as a tap or things could be more serious.  I have increased his medicine in the hopes that it will help reduce the inflammation and help things calm down.  If there is an obvious reason to take him to the vet, I will but I am hoping to avoid it.  I don’t want bad news and this really isn’t the best time to part ways, not that there will be a good time.  I am thankful that I will be able to hopefully spend some extra time with him over the New Year Holiday. 

Outside of that it was a quiet average evening.  I am not exactly sure what I am doing tonight, but I can tell you that I will be alone.

In the world of On Line Dating, I saw this younger blond hair blue eyed guy that was really hot.  I sent him a message and asked him how he was doing.  He sent me back a reply “I would be doing better if I was being raped and tortured by you.”  Wow there is a totally unexpected response.  While that was nice and I would love to get in bed with him, as I have said before that is not solely what I am looking for.  Not sure if he will reply back but I did send him another message.  I honestly have little faith in finding someone via an app.  Although it might workout with the pet food store guy, provided he actually calls me. Who knows maybe that will be the first progress item of 2015.

In thinking about 2015 right now I would like to build my savings up, get a new roof, fix up the bathrooms and find a man.  Not extravagant goals but most of them outside of the finding a man require money.  Once I find a man, then I will need money to spend on him, so I suppose they all require money.  As long as I don’t make any dumb moves or encounter unforeseen expenses I think most of this is attainable.  I would also like to trade both vehicles and get something new as a replacement. 

So this is just one big mash up, probably because my brain is all over the place and I have serious concerns about Bear.  I am glad that I have the camera so that I can peek in on him, that is provided he comes out of my room.  No camera in there.  I thought about moving it this morning but opted not to.  I am also hoping for an early dismissal today and running home to be with him is top on my list.  He loves seeing me as much as I love seeing him.  It’s amazing the bond we form with our animals. 

I hope that 2015 is a very prosperous year for you and your family.  Be safe and Be careful.  Let the good times roll!  Talk with you all next year. 

30 December 2014

Long Day

Today is going to be one of those long days.  There isn’t anything going on and I am sitting around, just being on the ready in case something breaks.  While it’s nice to have a break a day like today would be better spent at home, where I could do what I wanted to.  Most probably I would be taking a nap.  Ah well, one more day or half day as it may be and then I am doing with working until next year.  That sounds rather awesome!

I started proof reading my book again and making edits.  I thought it was perfect last time and I am sure I will think that again this time, but I am not in a hurry to get it re-published.  I will have to go through the obtaining a proof copy, approving it, then submitting it for publication.  Prior to all of those steps, I will have to retire the current version.  It sounds like a long drawn out process but honestly it’s really simple.  Knowing what I am going through on this adventure will help prepare me in case I decide to write something else. 

Last night I hightailed it to the vet’s office and picked up the free medication, which will help me out a lot.  I was just thinking that I should ask for a refill, glad I waited.  I had a slice of the left over pizza, ate it cold while I reheated the fish that I made the other night.  I have 3 pieces left and will be thankful when they are gone.  Like Pizza fish looses it’s crispness when it’s reheated, it’s still good but a little on the soft side.  I took care of the trash.  Then made my way to the computer in the basement.  I thought about bringing my late partners printer downstairs and hooking it up to my machine.  It’s a Xerox Phaser 8640 I believe.  I priced ink for it last night and now I understand why he never had any money.  That thing really sucks you dry when it comes to ink.  The ink is a wax block and you drop the block into the printer, it melts and then bakes on to the page.  That is why you get near magazine quality printing.  I don’t really have a use for it, my ink jet and monochrome laser do just fine.  However, it’s sitting and collecting dust.  It also generates the heat.  I may hook it up and power it on but not sure that I will use it that often.  He did leave behind a small supply of ink.  In looking at that I found ink for a portable printer that he has – there is a ton of it.  He never used this printer but bought it as soon as he got a laptop, which he took out of the house 1 time I believe.  I suppose I will need to power that up and make sure it still works.  I could easily sell it.  I could also sell the Xerox but he paid like $1,200 for it and now they are going for $650 – seems like a crime but newer technology has come out and that makes the old stuff worth less money.  Just like a car.

The online dating thing has yielded a couple of chats but that is about it.  One guy wants to meet me and I am on the fence about it.  The other is younger and just asked me how old I was today.  I wanted to say uh it’s in my profile.  Apparently people see a cute face and just message away.  Meanwhile my profile could have said that I was looking for a Guiney Pig to try out a new experiment on.  Another example of guys thinking with their dick and not with their brain.  I thought I’d humor myself and I asked him his age as well.  I’ll bet you I never hear from him again.

Bear has been coughing much more, so last night since I have a good surplus of medicine I increased him temporarily.  He will be back to his normal dose by the weekend.  It’s just a boost to hopefully quell the cough.  He used the pads last night and also managed to miss the pad and go on the carpet.  I told him to be sure to go on the pad.  Not that he will listen, but it made me feel good. 

It sure has turned into Winter around here.  Much colder temps.  They say that our temps are going to drop throughout the day so it will be really chilly tonight on the way home.  Perfect, I will keep on my hat and make sure to wear my gloves.  I really hate being cold.  I would much rather be hot because it’s easier to cool down but much harder to heat up.  Actually a comfortable temperature year round sounds nice, short sleeves yeah that is the ticket.  I know I should move to LA.  I’d really like to move that is but the whole idea of starting over well it’s scary and very unappealing. 

I slept really good last night but had a very strange dream.  I was also falling asleep around 9:45 which is kind of early for me, but when you start dosing off in front of the TV you know it’s time for bed.  I am dosing off here and there, it’s the boredom my body is just allergic to it and so it shuts down.  Ugh!

I hope that your enjoying the last Tuesday of the year.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

29 December 2014

Last Monday of the year

Hard to believe but this is the very last Monday of 2014.  Man I had some nightmare.  I was driving and kept going further and further in to a place where I didn’t know where I was.  I was driving backwards at a couple points.  I kept talking on the phone I think I was talking with my late partner but honestly don’t know who.  I kept saying make sure that someone calls and I said the name of an old boss.  I don’t know why I thought of her, she was a bitch.  Anyway, it was freaky.  I woke up and saw that I had a couple more hours sleep.  The dream picked up where it left off.  I finally woke up with a couple minutes to spare before the alarm clock went off.  My arm got clawed up by Marvin.  He loves to pass out the kisses and if he isn’t done then he will grab for your arm with his paws and of course claws are out.  He gets his way or else he whines.  Then I break out in a bit of a rash and it itches for a while.  The key is not scratching and then it will go away.  Scratch and you get a new best friend for a day or two.  Tonight will be Marvin’s claw trim night. 

I already looked on the camera and managed to wake LB up.  He heard my voice but didn’t know where it was coming from.  He looked all over and then took off towards the water fountain.  Lazy Bear just laid where he was, didn’t move a muscle.  Bear got his bath, nail trim and brushing last night along with his medicine.  He was a happy camper.  I am surprised he didn’t sleep with me.  Maybe tonight, it all depends upon how he feels. 

I got a surprise phone call from the vet this morning.  A client had to put down their cat and donated Prednisone.  They wanted to know if I would like them.  I said sure.  They said there would be 100 of them and they would have them ready for me.  I told them I would be over tonight to get them.  What a nice gesture.  I feel bad for the people who lost their cat.  I unfortunately know what that is like and it’s not something that I am eager to repeat any time soon.

My new work neighbor has arrived and moved in.  There are plenty of welcomes for him and it’s different to hear a voice when I am used to silence.  So I can see this will take some adjusting to.  The commute in was very easy as there is no one working today.  I suspect that will continue for the remaining 2 days that I have to come to work.  I got a primo spot in the garage, which is nice.  I was ready to leave as soon as I got the car parked.  I thought this place is dead and it will be a boring day.  Yeah then I get in get settled, almost and pow one walk up.  Then a tag when I am down the hall and another walk up when I am trying to fix another persons issue.  It’s been a little crazy busy this morning but that is okay, it’s helped pass the time by. 

Right now I am so tired, a nap sounds really good.  Unfortunately work has this silly rule that you have to stay awake while on the job.  I have a couple people to visit but I figured I would save that until this afternoon.  I am ready for lunch.  I picked up some Peaches that are in Cinnamon.  It sounds good, I hope it is.  I know it won’t be good for the blood sugar, which is unfortunate but there is very little that is good for it.  I saw a trailer for a movie that I almost watched and it said that the sugar industry is what is ruining America and the reason why there are so many fat people.  You can eat like a pig but if you work out enough no one will ever notice.  Problem is eating requires little to no effort and is something that people enjoy.  Working out well that requires work and there is sweat involved.  Most people don’t like that because it requires effort.  There you have it my reason why America is fat. 

If I think of anything of interest I will be back, but for now I am calling this post done and sticking a fork in it.  Talk with you peeps later. 

28 December 2014

Vacation # 1 - DONE

I survived another Christmas.  I got $25 gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse and I’m going there with my friends on January 2nd.  Looking forward to Alice Springs Chicken, A Sweet Potato and a nice salad with either Ranch or Honey Mustard.  Their salads are the best!  The dinner at my friends house was okay.  The prime rib was a bit more done this year but still full of fat.  I honestly didn’t eat much.  I stayed a lot longer than I wanted to.  I never did make it to the movies.  I stopped by my mom’s house and chatted with the clan.  No gifts were exchanged, but I came prepared with twenty dollars in my wallet.  It was an okay time.  I got home about 11pm.  The children were not happy, despite me telling them that I would be home late. 

I did take plenty of naps and had cats on top of me, in bed with me and in the same room as me.  I spent some extra alone time with Bear and he enjoyed it.  He loves attention any way he can get it.  He knows how to work it and work me.  I don’t feel bad for giving in.  I actually feel bad that I don’t give him enough attention.  He is still using his pads, so much that I went to Sam’s club and got some replacements, so I am ready for when I run out.  I learned that is the place to go, they are way cheaper there.  The best time to shop is on Friday night about an hour before closing.  You will have the place to yourself and can breeze in and out. 

I picked up food for the children at the pet food store on Friday.  Got ink and paper for me from the office store.  Headed down to Target and picked up cat litter and toiletries.  Then hightailed it to Red Lobster where I learned they no longer have Lobster Rolls.  That ruined my plan.  I did have some Swordfish and it was okay.  The portion size was small for what I paid.  Not sure that I will do that again.  I saw a cute waiter guy there.  Made it home and unloaded. 

Saturday I went out in the rain to another grocery store that I don’t frequent that often.  I was on the hunt for Frozen Steak N Shake burgers and/or melts.  They didn’t have them.  They did carry Chili Cheese Fries, which I purchased.  I didn’t look at the instructions on how to make them until I got home and damn it’s a lot of work.  So they went into the freezer.  I put together my steam mop and got the kitchen sparking again.  Of course with LB around it doesn’t last long.  He is a very sloppy eater.  I think 1/2 of it goes in his stomach and the other 1/2 goes on the floor.  He doesn’t always clean the floor.  At least now if he does there will be no worries about chemicals, it’s all clean naturally with steam.  That is peace of mind for me. 

I got the nicer IP Camera installed and even punched a hole in the firewall so that I can view, talk and listen to the children from anywhere.  Foscam makes the nicer camera that I have.  They do an awesome job and they walk you through everything step by step.  The only gotcha was that there was no CD included like the manual said.  Easy enough a quick Google and I had it downloaded.  Most everything is available on the net, you just have to know what to search for.

Since there is nothing on I have been watching Queer As Folk on NetFlix.  Brings back memories and helps pass the time.  This morning the fun ended as tomorrow is Monday.  I really wish I had used my 3 days for next week and then I would have a heaping helping of time off.  However, 3 days to work isn’t that bad, especially if it’s only 2 1/2 that is provided we get out early on Wednesday. 

I purchased Dragon Naturally Speaking for myself.  I always though it was a neat product.  My late partner wanted it.  I got it installed and setup.  Then started using it and it was frustrating.  The dictation thing is nice but I know how to type and it’s easier to compose by typing than it is by dictating.  You have to tell it every little thing you want it to do.  Where to put a space, comma, bold this, underline that.  Plus it screwed with the overall performance of my machine.  I could no longer get the calculator to launch.  So I uninstalled it, packaged it up and it’s sitting on the shelf.  Money wasted but who knows maybe I will find someone to give it to or maybe some day I will give it a 2nd chance. 

Oh yeah, I made my final car payment on Friday.  I forgot that I have a rubber stamp for disputes such as this.  It says “ Endorsement constitutes FULL & FINAL SETTLEMENT  of any & all claims against me.”  I don’t use it that often and forgot that I had it.  However, a friend of mine helped jog my memory by telling me to write them a check, I would have a receipt and it would actually cost them more to process the check than what it was worth.  I went in and the lady was just beside herself.  She asked me why I stamped the check and I told her it’s because someone didn’t know how to do their job, so I have to waste my time and fork over 90 cents.  She was all apologetic.  I told her not your fault, but after all you did ask.  She confirmed my mailing address and said that the title would be mailed out within 2 weeks.  Yeah, lets hope so.  I have a printed receipt from them with my name and account information on it that shows my balance is $0 and I am hanging on to that until the day I get the title in my hand.  I really wasn’t happy about the whole thing, but it’s water under the bridge now.

I did the usual breakfast and grocery shopping today.  I picked up a Red Barron Mexican Pizza.  It was a little spicy but really good.  I cooked it a bit too long, but it wasn’t burnt so all is well.  I added some sour cream to a couple pieces and that was like heaven.  I need me some real honest to goodness Mexican food and the sooner the better.  This afternoon I was watching a documentary about a hospital for under privileged people.  I believe it was called Waiting Room.  It started off a little interesting but it was so boring I actually fell asleep for about 15 minutes.  Thankfully one of the children woke me up.  Once I woke up I changed and put on an episode of SNL.  I see a man wearing some fanny pack type of deal in blue, he approaches my door and rings the bell.  He heard the music from the TV and rang a second time.  Then he walked away and stood in the front yard trying to peek in the house as I screamed NO SOLICITORS means you, dumb fuck!  He left quickly.  I don’t get that the sign is affixed to the front door because myself and my late partner hate with a passion door to door sales.  People always think that doesn’t apply to them, why is what I wonder.  I mean when I see a sign that says DO NOT ENTER I don’t stand there and say well that is for everyone else.  I guess I need a more specific sign that says something like unless your the Police, Fire Department or an Invited Guest GO THE FUCK AWAY.  Maybe that would drive the point home.  Stupid people – even during the holidays they are out in full force. 

Yesterday I was listening to a tech podcast where they take call ins for computer problems.  It’s a great way to keep my skills up.  Anyway this guy got a tablet.  He apparently got the FBI Money Pack Virus which puts up a screen that purports to be the FBI and says that they see your guilty of dealing in Child Porn and that if you pay them via Western Union Money Packs they will let you go.  He got so frustrated with seeing that screen and his inability to fix it that he hit his new tablet with a hammer.  Thankfully for me I was at a stop light and not in a store.  I just burst out with laughter.  That was the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time.  First of all it’s malware and it’s very fixable.  Second, if the FBI arrests you they won’t let you buy your way out with any form of money, that is called bribery.  You may get to post bail but you will have to go to trial.  This piece of malware has been around for a while but apparently there really is a sucker born every minute.  I feel some what sorry for the guy but more sorry for the tablet that he smashed into bits. 

I got a rebate card in the mail which helped me accomplish some things and one of those was to give myself a 1 month subscription to porn aka Corbin Fisher.  I just love some of his models.  The fact that I can download and save scenes and photos on my hard drive well that is an extra perk.  After the month there will be no re-bill because the card is empty.  I used the rest of it for groceries.

Now the main holiday is over with and it’s back to work.  I will be thinking of my finances and the year ahead.  I hope that next year is one in which I can get ahead, save and make progress.  Not sure what kind of Monday I will have and I’ve got a transplanted co-worker so it’s going to be an interesting Monday.  Not sure if I will be able to blog or not.  Besides that I am so far behind in watching You Tube videos.  That could easily take up my entire lunch hour, provided I get the whole hour. 

I hope you had a great Christmas.  Got the gifts you wanted and were able to be with those that you love.  Also that you had some great food and hopefully some naps.  Hang in there we will be ringing in a New Year in a few short days.  2015 feels strange to type that because like you I am not getting any younger.  Talk with you peeps later.

24 December 2014

Christmas Eve

Last night I decided to have a Chicken Pot Pie in a Parmesan Crème Sauce.  It was very good, much to my surprise.  It had some red pepper in it which was totally unexpected and help give it a slightly bold flavor.  I finished the last Christmas cookie that my co-worker sent me.  The kids and I sat on the couch and finished watching Home Alone 2 which I rented on Amazon.  It was a deal at only $2.99 and that was worth seeing it versus playing it on tape in the VCR.  HD sure has brought television into a new light.  I hear that 4K is really something to see.  That is the next codec standard that is being worked on.  You can get a 4K TV today but like HD you will pay through the nose, plus they have yet to decide on a standard, so better to stand back and wait & see.  I think we will all be even happier when this comes out, of course it means buying a new TV again. 

If you think about it life is all about upgrades and enhancements.  We went from records & 8 track tapes to cassettes, to CD’s, to MP3’s.  In TV it was Black & White, to Color, to HD.  Technology is very much alive and breathing.  It is ever changing and always seems to cost us money but it also brings us joy and the ability to do things and see things that we have never done or seen before.

It was nice to take a break so to speak from life and just sit back and watch TV.  I have things to do but am thinking of repeating the process tonight.  A lot depends upon what time I get home.  The garage was next to empty this morning, things are quiet in the office and not many people are here.  I suspect they will in fact let us go early but until they say the word I plan on staying around until my normal quitting time.  The spy is back in the office today so no leaving early unless they actually close the office.  Yesterday I was able to get out 10 minutes early and it actually helped make a huge difference on when I arrived home.  I gained a 1/2 hour from 10 minutes. 

I think that I have discovered the secret to attracting guys.  It’s as simple as growing a beard or at least have some decent stubble.  I only shave 1 time per week.  I posted profile photos of myself unshaven and man I am starting to have to beat them off with a stick.  Nothing serious yet but I have had a lot of people telling me that I am cute, sexy, handsome.  Now I suppose it’s a matter of what I can do for them and not what they can do for me.  However, I am in it to win a LTR and not a hook up.  I have been thinking about January and the guy from the pet food store.  I am actually nervous about it.  I suppose once we test the waters we will know more about each other and the heart will eventually take over if there is chemistry and history will write its self.  I saw something disturbing on a younger guys profile …. he said I like them terminally ill and with an 8 figure bank account.  Now I am sure he was joking but man there really are those type of people in the world, looking to make a quick dollar. 

Like everyone else that managed to schlep in today I am eager to leave and get home to my furry family.  I am especially concerned about Bear.  He has been coughing lately and last night I saw him use the pee pad, which was good but he is even more winded now and that is probably what has prevented him from using the litter box.  It takes a lot of effort on his part to go to the bathroom.  I told him last night as I held his paw and was petting him not to die on me, not right now I needed him.  He has a very strong desire to be close to me.  While I know that every day brings us closer to death I am just not ready to part with him.  So I told him that I would clean off my guys bed and him and I would snuggle an even take a nap.  I will spend some much needed time with him.  He will no doubt lap that up like candy to a baby.  If he continues down this path and I don’t see any improvement I will get him in for a checkup.  It might be time for a fluid tap or it could be time to part ways.  I know that he struggles but he also has a lot of life in him.  His only problem is struggling to use the restroom and mobility.  As long as the stress level is low he is fine.  Anything that gets the heart beating faster causes problems.  So I look forward to snuggling up with him and maybe even taking a nap.  I enjoy petting him and hearing him purr, he is just a big baby – which is true for all of my cats.  Even Ruth who has a mean exterior once you get her calm, she is like putty in my hands.  They all love me and I love them.  Just happy that we will all be able to be together to celebrate another Christmas together.  This could be the last year that we are all together, given Bear’s health.  Then again look at last year I would have never thought BLU would go.  So each and every day is special, but we loose sight of that with the hustle and bustle of life. 

Okay enough emotional stuff.  I will talk with you peeps later.  Have a very Merry Christmas!

23 December 2014


I woke up and felt just a little off kilter.  I kept going and on my way in to work I was nauseated.  I took an antacid pill when I got to work and after a while the feeling subsided.  I managed to eat lunch but I was cautious.  Everything has stayed down and I feel eh, ok but ready for bed. 

So I wound up leaving 10 minutes early and by the time I got out of the door and to my car it was 5 minutes.  Then I spent time in traffic.  Since it was raining everyone forgot how to drive.  So did I gain anything?  I don’t think so. 

I did get my Pore Vacuum Cream last night.  I used it and already see a small difference.  Kind of cool.  It goes on clear an then dries and it looks like toothpaste.  You wipe it off with warm water and viola, your done.  I just hope I didn’t pay for snake oil. 

I have used the camera today to spy on the children and I have seen all of them.  They look so cute, now if I could just mess with them with some sound things would be very entertaining.  I guess that is the evil genius in me. 

Talked with my friends and found out the plans for Christmas.  Standing Rib Roast … yuk.  Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding and some vegetable.  They will have the usual chips and dip, pickles, carrots, celery, etc for appetizers.  I found out the guest list and it will be a small group of us that I am totally fine with.  Were eating late in the afternoon, not sure how long I will stay.  I was told that they had no idea what to get me for Christmas.  I told them my shopping was done and I didn’t say anymore.  They will be blown away by 3 gifts.  A refill for their Sonicare Toothbrush, a Remote Control Holder and of course the IP Camera.  I think they will pickup gift cards for me or just give me cash.  Cash is perfectly fine. 

I already have plans with myself to eat out at a couple places over the extended weekend.  I am going to the movies again as well.  Then there is the house projects that I have to clean, organize, etc.  I’m not sure how much of anything will get done but one thing I know is that I will certainly take very good care of myself.  Naps, food and being home with the kids. 

Work gave us a $25 gift card for Amazon, wow talk about last minute.  I already put it on my account, that will help with on-demand movies or my next purchase.  Kind of nice to know that you have a credit just sitting out there waiting for you.  Speaking of which I have confirmation that the escrow money deposits posted so the money is mine!  Now if they just change the address so I get the tax statement – then we will be all good and I will be happy to never, ever contact them again. 

Word has come out that we can wear jeans to work tomorrow, no charge.  However, its anyone’s guess if they will let us leave early.  I suspect that we will be here all damn day, until the bitter end.  The way I see it I am happy to have a job.  Getting out early would be a nice perk but it’s not anything that I expect, especially since they decided to give us Friday off.  That in it’s self was a nice gesture.  This place really does live up to my bosses word in the they take care of their own.  I hope that never changes, it’s one of the things that makes it a great place to work. 

More packages waiting for me at home.  Wasn’t expecting them until tomorrow, so it’s a nice surprise.  Even though all I want to do is go home and plop.  I was having a hot flash last night from the steroids so I just had the sandwich and skipped the soup.  Tonight, who knows it’s up in the air and not even sure that I will eat at all.  Then again fast food does sound some what appealing.  Ah decisions and paralysis by choice.  I hate making decisions but it’s how we manage to get through life. 

I hope your ready for the holiday.  Talk with you peeps later.

22 December 2014

Mad as hell

Just got a call from the financial institution where my car is financed at.  They told me that the pay off I sent them was 90 cents short, so they need that before they can close out the loan.  No I am not kidding.  I called ahead of time to avoid a situation like this and the figure I was given was the figure I submitted payment for.  Of course they have no record of my call.  Then I thought hey they have 5.00 of my money – they put it in a non interest bearing savings account, sort of a fee if you will.  I asked if they could use that and oh no that is a non-refundable fee.  However, they are open on Christmas Eve until 1pm.  Yeah great I have to work for a living how the fuck is that supposed to help me? 

I will take them there precious 90 cents on Friday.  They told me interest accrues by the day so the sooner I get it in the better off I will be.  It’s Christmas you’d think they would cut me a break.  Especially since I filed Bankruptcy on them but agreed to keep paying them.  I never missed not 1 payment and each and every payment has been on time.  No breaks – pay up fat boy. 

Needless to say I won’t be refinancing with them, unless they are my only option and I already know that isn’t the case.  My credit card company also does auto loans and who knows what I will qualify for when I am ready to trade?  Options are wide open, but I am still very pissed off about the situation.  I understand they need their money but this is a little on the extreme side of things.  Greedy Bastards!

In other news I have been spying off and on on the children.  I saw Bear in the hallway, he moved over by the litter box.  Ruthie scurried downstairs.  I feel like I am there even though I am some 45 miles away.  This would have been great to have when I was traveling.  I kind of thought of that when I went to purchase – rather than relying on my friend for updates, I can connect up and spy away.  Kind of nice, so you know instantly what is going on. 

Okay so I vented and now I feel a little better.  Looking forward to getting home.  It’s a miserable rainy day here and it’s supposed to continue for much of the evening.  So the commute home will be light but it will probably be hectic given the fact that it’s raining and people loose their minds.  I have given some serious thought to leaving early.  It’s been a fairly dead day and I don’t think anyone will miss me for a 1/2 hour but if I do leave, you can bet that something will probably break or some crisis will have come up where I am needed and I will be caught.  So while I want to leave early, my conscious probably won’t allow it.   Tonight’s gourmet meal will be Chicken Salad on Toast with a Bowl of Beef Barley Soup.  Sounds really good and I could down it now. 

My boss sent her gift.  It was 4 pieces of Chocolate.  She made this cute house and put them in there all nice and neat.  I got it and destroyed the house to get to the present.  Then I saw it was candy and well I ate it.  Not what I expected but it was a nice gesture and the candy was good.  I think that is all of the gifts I am going to get from work.  I am questioning if my friends purchased anything for me, because last year they got gift cards and sent them by mail.  I had them by now.  This year well maybe they are going to give me something at their house or maybe I will leave empty handed.  I kind of hope for a little something, they are like my only hope for a present.  I don’t expect anything from my family.  I debated about getting them something but managed to talk myself out of it.  I figured screw them.  I may drop by or at the very least call.  My mom I am sure is waiting with baited breath to see what I do.

Ah well, back to entertainment central here.  It’s boring and slow.  I hope it stays that way but that the time passes a little faster.  So I can go out to my automobile which I still owe 90 cents on and drive home.  Funny thing is I just sent my insurance agent an e-mail and told him to drop the lien on my car, since its paid for or so I thought.  I am not rescinding that.  They will probably try to charge me something for that.  I still have coverage I am not dumb enough to drive without auto insurance – so there shouldn’t be an issue.


Happy Monday!

Nice weekend

I found all of my packages waiting for me on the porch.  It took me two trips but I got all of them moved into the garage.  Then had to move them from the garage to the kitchen table.  Then was the un boxing.  I felt like a kid on Christmas Day, except for the fact that I knew what to expect, I just didn’t know which box it was in.

I got one camera setup and figured out that the audio piece didn’t work like I was led to believe it would.  Plus once I did figure out how to transmit audio it was choppy and just confused the hell out of everyone.  The kids were looking around what is that noise?  So I am using one camera to spy on the children and I tested it out today from work.  It works awesome.  I see the boys in the hall and momma in one of the cat trees.  Pretty nifty.  I didn’t set it up so it’s wide open on the net – I remote into my home pc and then have a webpage that I visit from there to see the children.  I am still giving one camera as a gift.  I may return the other one, not sure yet.  I found something a little better on Amazon and it too was on sale, so I ordered 1 of those in the hopes that maybe the audio will work out after all.  If not then I will return it. 

Hooked up the Nintendo WII last and really had a blast with it.  I went bowling which was fun.  I figured out that I am no good on a jet ski course.  It’s tough to maneuver.  The same is true of Mario Kart.  With a little practice – trial & error I will be sure to eventually figure it out.  I still have 1 game that I haven’t opened yet.  I really wanted arcade classics like Pac-Man Ms. Pac-Man, Gallaga, etc.  They made them at one point but are no longer selling the game on Amazon.   

The Roku stick was easy to install, but I didn’t realize it needed power.  I figured the HDMI Port would power it but that isn’t the case.  The remote is also different than the regular ROKU.  Still it’s easy to setup and start using.  I have it installed in my bedroom, it was just easier than moving the box from the living room.  I am very happy with all of my ROKU’s and highly recommend them if your looking for a set top box or the stick – they are awesome!  I was going to get the Amazon Fire stick but if you want the voice search on that you have to buy an upgraded remote, to which I said nah. 

The Remote Control Holder looks grand and there is no more scattered remotes.  I had to clean up a bit in the living room to get the holder where I wanted it.  Also the same is true in the kitchen, where I placed the WIFI Camera. 

My Harry’s shipment arrived on Saturday and I shaved on Sunday.  I took a before and after photo.  I realize now that I look really good with a beard but I just can’t keep it up.  I get to the itchy stage and after that I want to gnaw my face off.  The shaving experience was grand.  The blades never cut me, only the whiskers.  I love the way the handle feels.  The only two draw backs is there is no 5th blade for trimming closer on sideburns and under your nose.  There is also no stand to hang the razor in.  Outside of those two things this was a pleasant experience and I am giving serious consideration to making them the place where I get razors from.  Speaking of which I deep sixed the electric shaver.  It is clearly shot and there was no point in continuing to try to breathe life into it.  I also see no point in getting another one, at least at this point.  I am much more partial to blades because of the closeness, which nothing electric can come close to but they keep on trying.  The best shave ever was with a straight razor at the barbershop when I was a few years younger.  It’s kind of scary letting a stranger near your face with a sharp object but he did a great job and the warm shaving cream, oh that was out of sight. 

I think that covers the product review.  On Saturday I received both escrow checks in the mail.  I was very happy and took them to the bank.  Now it’s a matter of seeing if the bank accepts or rejects them.  I honestly don’t expect a problem but will be holding my breath until I see them post.  If I could just get the Title Company to get the Quit Claim Deed issue taken care of, then I will be done with the house mess. 

Oh I forgot about the garage rollers.  I did replace them myself it took a little bit of work.  I was able to use the screw gun on 2 out of the 8.  The remainder required either a nut driver or socket.  I got it all done and things are much quieter, not silent but quieter.  There are 3 rollers left and I will let the pros take care of the two bottom rollers since they are on cable tension and I value my eye sight. 

I got good news in the mail on Saturday.  AT&T Uverse is finally available.  They require that you have either internet or tv through them in order to get the phone.  I figured it out and would save a bundle while the promo is going.  After that it would cost me more, so I am opting to leave things as they are.  Plus I would have to have a tech out to my house and there would be wiring and it just seems like a huge mess.  Not to mention that alarm system.  It should work with VOIP but nothing is for certain and if there would be an outage then no alarm signal would be sent.  I always said I would switch in a heartbeat but it’s not the huge savings that I thought it would be. To lure me in they would give me $150 but the promo mailer I got said up to $400 for switching.  I hate paying for TV but it’s what the world has come to.  As soon as I have the option to switch to pay for HBO GO and Showtime on demand – I would happily drop them from my cable line up, so long as they are priced appropriately. 

I watched a movie Out of The Clear Blue Sky about Cantor Fitzgerald on NetFlix it was about the 9-11 tragedy.  I didn’t realize they lost practically everyone in their company.  It was amazing how they were able to spring back to life so quickly.  Their CEO truly has a heart and from what I saw he did everyone right, even though some people thought otherwise.  10 years of free health care for a surviving spouse and giving 25% of profits to families of survivors I think is a very generous deal.  Hard to believe that it’s been so long ago.  Time truly does have a way of slipping away from you.

I wrote a holiday letter to the few people who mailed me Christmas cards.  I used to have all of my cards ready to go and mailed them on Thanksgiving day.  That stopped a couple years ago and now that my love is gone, so is my desire to do a mass mailing.  It was fun to write but it also caused me to reflect on the year and how lonely I am.  I have made myself sick by allowing my depression to consume me and I have to fight against getting sucked further in.  I can’t take time off from work just because I don’t feel like going and want to isolate myself at home.  I have plenty to do at home, but it’s also important to get out and be apart of the world.  Easier said than done. 

The guy at the pet food store was working the register on Saturday.  I made sure to get into his line so I could chat him up.  He told me that he was going to call me in early January.  I kind of wish that I knew that a little earlier but okay.  He is looking for a job now that he has a degree and wants to move into corporate America and out of the pet food store.  Which I can’t say that I blame him.  The tough part is finding a job – degree or no degree.  I think he will have much better luck after the first of the year as will everyone who is looking for a job. 

So it was kind of an emotional weekend.  I started feeling crappy yesterday and ran for the steroids to curb things.  Now I am having my hot flashes and all I do is drink & pee.  At least I feel better today.  I don’t think I am actually sick I think it’s the depression making my body respond that way.  I realized yesterday that my shopping spree was to help me but it also gave me temporary relief from the depression.  In the end I still have to pay it back and I have a lot of stuff that I have wanted for a long time.  There are many things I can do for a temporary fix away from the depression but in the end I have to face the fact that he is gone and not coming back.  I am on my own, and I have made it so far and done so well.  It would be a shame to throw it all away now. 

The headset that I bought for work, is good.  The Cisco phone I use won’t allow me to adjust the volume on the phone, you have to do it from the headset.  I have had some issues with hearing a couple people but no one has complained about my audio and I suspect they won’t considering that the microphone is right in front of my mouth.  I was boasting to a friend about it and she had been looking for something like this.  I was able to still get the deal on Amazon so I ordered her one.  She wants to pay for it but I told her consider it a Christmas Gift.  She will but isn’t too happy about it.  I just hope she likes it and uses it.  It will arrive tomorrow at her home.  Much better than me driving out there.  Although she does have some Lasagna waiting for me. 

So your all caught up and filled in on my life.  Now I feel like taking a nice nap for the day.  The bosses spy is off today so I could sneak into a secure area that I have access to and just turn out the lights and drift off.  That is after I eat lunch.  Hmm, sounds appealing, but we both know that I won’t do it.  Talk with you peeps again soon.

19 December 2014

Fun Fantastic Freaky Food Friday

Yesterday I was checking out my FB News Feed and saw that Pat Robertson was quoted as saying “Gay People will die off eventually, they don’t reproduce.”  Really?  Maybe he doesn’t realize but its Straight people that reproduce and there is a chance their offspring could be GLBT.  Duh!

My money is in the bank this morning and I have already scheduled the pay off of my credit cards.  Of course not before going bat shit crazy last night with yet more stuff to order.  I am honestly done now, until the next irresistible item comes along and catches my eye.  I have a decent amount of money left.

I just called the old mortgage company and they finally have refunded the escrow money.  As I suspected they mailed the money to his bankruptcy attorney.  I phoned him and he is going to send me the 1 check he received and will be looking for the 2nd check, if he finds it then he will mail it to me.  I will be eagerly watching the mail.  I also told him about my plans to pay off the bankruptcy early and he told me NOT to do so, as it would cause problems.  So I will just continue with the regular monthly payments until we reach the magic number next year  This of course means that any tax refund that he gets will be subject to being taken by the government, even though it is totally my money.  Ah well at least this is the last year I will have that problem.  I told the attorney that I was able to get the house in my name and he was surprised that it took me so long.

I have received confirmation that my latest shipment of toys is waiting for me on my porch.  5 packages and I am sure the UPS person is cussing at me for ordering so much.  Just so long as it’s all there when I get home.  I am going to have a blast this weekend playing with toys.  I have to setup my Roku Stick, The Cameras and the Wii that I got.  I just hope I am happy with all of them.  Oh yeah then there is the manual labor job of replacing the rollers in the garage.  I sure hope that goes well and is painless – but something tells me it will be no picnic.  I also have to get my haircut, it’s getting long again but that is just from my eyes.  Everyone else in the world thinks I have short hair. 

Last night I got some cream to vacuum out my pores on Birchbox.  Amazon had a sweet deal on steam mops so I got a replacement Shark Steam Mop for the one that broke.  I love cleaning with steam and then I don’t have to worry about the animals eating off of the floor or getting contact dermatitus.  Chemicals make me nervous.  Speaking of which the pee pads seem to serve as a special resting place for everyone.  They love to lay on them.  I of course make sure they aren’t wet and it is all good.  Bear appears to be using the litter box.  Hopefully, things stay that way.  Depending upon how I feel I may or may not try to clean up the mess he made.  The smell has died down which was my concern.  Perhaps I should leave well enough alone. 

The commute home last night was brutal once again.  However, the commute on the way in this morning was a breeze.  You could see the difference in the volume.  So hopefully that means the commute home will be a breeze, which would be very much welcome. 

The on-call schedule came out yesterday.  Oh boy I kind of got a bad deal but there is good news.  So I am on in late January, take a week’s break and then am on the following week.  The first shift will be no problem.  The second one things are changing and we are only going to have one person supporting everyone after hours.  While this is good in that it will give us all a break it will also mean that when we are on-call that the work load will increase because there will be a greater responsibility and that will include getting woken up more than once in the middle of the night.  At least the potential is there, hopefully it won’t happen as often as I expect it to.  The good news is that I will be done until the end of May when the next part of the schedule comes out.  That will be one sweet break!  Our boss had someone pull names out of a hat to populate the weeks.  I personally think that is a crappy deal because a lot of people got a way worse deal than I did.  It would be far better if she just assigned people based upon a rotation or let people pick by seniority.  Ah, well it’s done not much I can do about it. 

It’s a calm day here, a lot of people are off or started a vacation.  New policy this year you can only carry over a weeks worth of time, so that prompted a lot of people to take off.  They don’t want to lose their time, which makes sense  I am carrying sometime over.  You never know when you might need a day or a week.  I actually try to use days instead of taking an entire week until I have a decent amount of time built up.  Going on vacation is nice but you need a destination and I haven’t been on a true vacation for a very long time.  The problem with going on vacation is that you have all of this crap piled up when you get back.

I got a package in inner office mail today.  It was a box of cookies from a co-worker that I met earlier this year.  We have worked together off and on over the course of the year and this was very much a welcome surprise.  She made Chocolate Chip cookies and you can taste Chocolate Liqueur, nice!  I really don’t need them but glad that she sent them.  Kind of makes me feel obligated to go out tomorrow on Oh Shit Saturday and pick her up something.  I won’t but I feel like I should.  I will call her and thank her instead.  That is the very least I can do.  I really would like to open up to a few people but realize the risk involved so think of it as a fleeting thought.  I got a friend request from another co-worker and well honestly don’t want to accept it.  Not because of her but because it’s pretty easy to deduce from my FB page that I am gay and she is friends with lots of other people that work here and the last thing I want is a flood of friend requests only to be in the office gossip.  I kind of hate to hurt her feelings but I am just letting the request sit for now.  I also realize I can limit what she can see but that only implies that I am hiding something, which I am. 

Next week all 3 days will be the last week that I work in complete quiet here.  A co-worker from another office is relocating and will be in at the end of the month.  I hope he doesn’t make too much noise and that by his being here it doesn’t take away my freedom.  Time will tell.

I have succumbed to being sucked back in to the on-line dating thing.  I have reinstalled some selected apps on my phone.  I am not back on every site I was before.  I want to see if maybe I have better luck.  I don’t know that it’s common for people, let alone 2 guys to find love via the internet.  To find someone to sleep with for one night, yeah that is easy to accomplish no matter who you are.  I am surprised my will power didn’t last longer but I was going through serious withdrawals. 

I wore my fitness thingy to bed last night, told it I was going to sleep and told it this morning that I woke up.  Then it told me that I met my sleep goal of 8 hours of sleep.  Funny, I didn’t set a goal must have been a preset  I wonder what it will do if/when I take naps.  Guess were going to find out!  I am happy with my purchase but kind of feels like I am a slave to a piece of technology.  Then again the same could be said for my phone.  Unplugging and just taking a tech holiday is nice  However, you can’t totally escape tech.  It’s in the car, the microwave so you have to deal with it at some point.  Still its’ nice to be able to turn the world off.  I usually try for that at some point over the weekend.  It’s tough though to not have my phone to check but usually I wind up sleeping some of the time away so it’s not too bad. 

Well I am getting very sleepy and that is not a good thing.  I need to get up and walk around so get the blood pumping and then eat my lunch and watch You Tube Videos which will probably make me even more drowsy, but it’s a day in the life.  We are on the down hill slide and the next 5 and 1/2 hours should hopefully fly by.  Who knows I may even sneak out early.  Shh don’t tell anyone.  :)

Have a great weekend.  I hope that your holiday shopping is done and that you are able to relax and be with the ones you love this holiday season.  Appreciate them for all they are worth and let them know it.  Because in the blink of an eye things can be different.  I will talk with you peeps later.

18 December 2014


I got approval on my loan yesterday and should have the money by early next week.  The postcard I guess is just a fail safe method but it no longer applies to me since they confirmed my identity through documents and a phone call.  Kind of nice that someone is taking a chance on me.  Essentially I just re-committed to a car payment for 3 more years.  I say that because the payment is around what my car payment was.  I can pay them off early which is in my plans. The best part is that I crunched the numbers and if I part with $700 I can get to the magic # in my late partners Bankruptcy where his attorney can file and petition the court for a hardship discharge.  Provided I get it the money will be well spent because then no one will have any claim to the house – the bankruptcy will be discharged and the creditors will essentially be screwed.  Just a nice way of saying Merry Christmas.  So I am going to part with the money and if I ever get my escrow money back then I can use that to repay that part of the loan.  So it’s all worked out in my mind, let’s hope that it jives with paper and that the court gives me what I need, which will be a huge relief.  That would also ensure that I get his tax refund and NOT the bankruptcy court, which is even better.  So it looks like the sun is really starting to shine in a very big way.  I am so very happy!

I went Christmas shopping via Amazon.  I got the WI that I wanted as well as the WIFI Camera and I picked up an extra to give as a gift.  They were only $50, which I think is cheap.  I hope I am not disappointed by the performance.  I had to buy some extra games so I would have something to play.  I got a Roku Stick so I can take the Roku unit in the living room and move it to the bedroom.  The Roku I have in my bedroom is the first one they came out with and they are no longer updating the software.  I can move it to the basement if I need to.  I am hanging on to it but it sure has lived a great life and it was a Christmas gift one year many moons ago from my love, so there is sentimental value to it 

It’s amazing that you can buy all of the things you want but there isn’t anything that you can buy that will give you everlasting happiness.  So what I am saying is while I am able to get the things that I have wanted for a long time, I still have a void in my life.  I am happy that things are getting better.  Now if I could get get a man without any problems, side effects or drama and things would just work – sort of like plug and play.  Then life would be a little happier.  Loneliness is a HUGE problem at the holidays.  Plus I am ready to start making new traditions and being with someone I care about instead of ‘friends’.  I mean I am thankful they are there but I really need a family of my own. 

I learned of Sony’s decision not to release The Interview (not sure if that is the right name) but it’s the movie about capturing the crazy man in North Korea.  They bowed to the terrorist and threats – I realize that safety is paramount but still they should release it even if its just to stream in ones home.  I was very interested in it and thought that from the preview it was a highly funny movie.   Ah well I guess we will never know. 

Traffic on the way home yesterday was horrible.  I had to take an alternate route and got home around my normal time but almost hit someone in the process.  I needed to change lanes and they were far enough back that they let me over but they chose to honk after I got in front of them.  I just took a chance and thankfully it paid off.  I don’t need more trouble.

Speaking of trouble, I spoke with the attorney who is working to look up what the law says in my state about Escrow refunds  Turns out its dictated by the mortgage and since I don’t have a copy of it, I have no idea what it says.  I put a call into the lending officer who helped me, he needed the mortgage before he could issue the loan for me.  I asked him to have someone look through it to tell me what it says.  I am still going to move forward with sending a certified letter.  I also have plans to call them tomorrow to see what they have to say.  Basically the advice I was given is don’t give up, get noisy and they will sooner give you your money than deal with the BS that your going to create by complaining.  On average the time frames are usually 30 to 60 days before a refund is issued.  I think filing suit will speed up the process but I really don’t want to waste the money.

Today I worked on a personal laptop for one of the staff members daughters.  She has a cute boyfriend and there were lots of shirtless pics – my mouth started to water.  The thing had a virus on it so it would turn on a proxy and you couldn’t get out to the internet.  Turn the proxy off and within seconds it was back on.  They didn’t want you going anywhere.  Thankfully I used a restore point and got her out of the trouble.  They were going to take it to the Death Geek Squad.  I turned her away but something kept nagging at me, so I told her bring it in but tell no one.  When I told her it was fixed well those lips just started a flappin.  Telephone – Telegraph and Tell A Woman, those are the 3 forms of communication.  I had turned someone else that sits by this person away as well and I didn’t want them to think I was discriminating.  There are lots of people that have asked me to do work on the side and I decline.  It would be a great money maker but there is a liability there that I just don’t want to mess with.  However, since I am more often than not able to help people out of a jam maybe I should reconsider.  My employer could careless as long as I am not engaging in those activities on company time.  Which today I looked this machine over my lunch hour and it was a huge struggle to get it finished before the hour was up.  I made it, but couldn’t take it back to her until later in the afternoon.

Television last night was kind of a bust.  I saw one new episode of The Middle and everything else was reruns, so I turned it off.  I got my fitness device configured and am using it.  The one thing they don’t allow for is giving you time to recharge the silly thing.  I mean at some point the battery will die and you will be forced to recharge it.  The device wouldn’t even turn on until it saw the software was loaded on my phone.  I got to check my heart rate which was kind of cool.  They have all sorts of attachments and tried to sell me a scale and blood pressure cuff of which I didn’t bite for.  The gadgets are great but none of them will actually cause me to loose weight which is what I need to do.  There is only one way to achieve that is with diet and exercise both of which are not in my immediate future.  I am amazed at the number of steps that I take in a day and the walking that I do at work.  I have already unlocked a 4,000 step badge which is great.  You have the option to share that on Facebook but honestly what person wants to know how many steps someone took in a day.  I had a friend who started posting crap like that and I stopped following him.  Totally not interested could care less.  So I figure that is the way most people feel and I am not going to bother to share my stats on any kind of a regular basis and right now have no plans to share any of the data on FB. 

If you get this in time and are in need of a Bluetooth headset, Amazon has some really good deals today.  I got a $130.00 headset for $25.00 – a deal that I just couldn’t pass up.  It’s a toy for work but you would be amazed at how much better it feels not to have a cord attached to your head.  I just hope it sounds as good as they purport it to.  Plus I can pair it with my iPhone and watch videos at lunch instead of having to put on a seperate headset for that. 

Tonight’s delivery is Mucinex, simple easy one package.  Tomorrow there will be packages scattered all over my porch – the order that I placed yesterday I paid for 1 day shipping so everything gets in this week and I don’t have to wait and wonder if it will make it in time for Christmas.  It would be a smart idea to stay home tomorrow so I am sure nothing walks away.  However, I will be here at work.  The neighborhood overall is safe and I haven’t had any issues yet, let’s hope I just didn’t jinx myself.  I am looking forward to Saturday for many reason but the one reason that has me anxious is I will get my Harry’s shipment.  It’s a shaving club, I just asked for a one time shipment and am looking forward to trying them out.  Their blades are supposed to be superior to what is on the market today and cost a ton less.  Shaving is expensive and aggravating as well.  Hopefully this will make the experience a little more pleasant and if their blades are all they say they are then I will be happy to switch.

Slept on the new pillows last night.  They aren’t as firm as I wanted but they were average.  Tonight will help form my opinion better.  I did notice that I was in a deeper sleep and felt rested this morning, which is kind of an unusual feeling.  I suppose if I had a better matress and a sleep study done I would feel even better.  Everything in due time.  I really don’t know how my late guy used to put on the headgear at night for his CPAP machine.  He swore by it once he tried it.  I still have the machine but its programmed for him and he used the last new mask.  I could clean it out.  The bigger issue is germs and sinus infections which you can easily obtain from one of those machines if it’s not properly cared for. 

The children are all doing okay.  LB’s sty seems to have healed on it’s own, which I am thankful for.  He is older or so he look and he moves slow but the other day he saw a bird and I never saw him move so fast in my life.  It was pure entertainment and of course I didn’t have time to capture it.  Bear (Big Boy) is managing.  He seems to want more attention and more food.  He is my constant worry, I did much better with losing Blu than I thought I would but Bear he’s been around longer so I suspect when he goes it will hurt much more, plus he had that special bond with my guy.  It’s just depressing to think about. 

Well time to motor home, lets hope it’s a smooth commute!

17 December 2014

Comedy Wednesday

Last night I spent a good part of the evening looking for a battery charger for the cordless drill that my late partner bought.  It wasn’t until a little after 9pm when I finally found it.  Holy crap I tore through all sorts of things and now it looks like a small tornado has gone through part of the house.  Looks like I have a cleaning project to work on.  Anyway got the battery all charged up and this weekend I will be putting in the garage door rollers.  I thought about doing it tonight but it requires a little bit too much effort for it to be a work weeknight project.  Perhaps on Friday evening if I am feeling really anxious, otherwise it will be a Saturday thing. 

The pee pads arrived last night along with my mattress pad.  I laid out two of the pads on the carpet and he used them.  Problem is he got 1/2 off of one so he hit the carpet.  Perhaps I will get him trained yet.  I just hope that eventually he goes back to using the litter box and we can eliminate this problem once and for all.  Perhaps my hopes are a little too high but I have to at least have hope. 

I also spent part of my evening submitting documentation for my consolidation loan.  We are all set from what I see on-line.  I am just waiting for a postcard to come in the mail with some super secret code that I have to authenticate with to verify my address and then I should have my money.  Hopefully the postcard will arrive soon – I will bet it makes it before the refund from the overage on the old Escrow Account.  :)  

The evenings thus far have been super busy for me, going 100mph trying to accomplish something or looking for someone or something.  A friend of mine is trying to find a friend of hers so she asked me for help.  I was able to locate a phone number but I just used Google.  She called and left a message but no return call.  Last night I decided to dig deeper to see if maybe her friend had passed away but I couldn’t find any record of that on-line.  It’s just odd for her friend to just drop off the face of the earth.  She is an older lady so we suspect that maybe her health took a turn for the worse – who knows maybe she is in a hospital.  There are limits to how far I will go and I think I have done all I can.  I am no detective but I will say the thrill of the hunt is entertaining. 

So I look forward to this evening, as always and hope that new episodes of my favorite shows are on tonight.  I will be eating Lasagna and hopefully just taking a nice mid week break from the stress of the week.  I will be getting my new pillows tonight and look forward to them as well as my fitness tracker  So I will be playing with a gadget, I just hope that I don’t loose interest in it otherwise it is money wasted. 

I am eyeing my next toy purchase which will be a 2 way remote control wifi camera.  So I can see what is going on inside the house and talk with the cats  That should freak them out.  There are so many options and models available.  They aren’t super expensive but it kind of depends upon what you want.  I like the idea of a cloud service being able to store the video and being able to talk with the children.  However, I haven’t yet found a model that incorporates both features.  Plus when you say cloud think of a subscription, I don’t want to subscribe to anything or have any extra fees.  I just want simple setup and go.  I found a model that offers a free cloud service, which is great but no talk feature.  Long term I would like to get cameras for both inside and outside the house.  However, that will require wiring and well that is not my area of expertise.  I am sure I would do fine on the inside but on the outside, well that is another story entirely. 

My co-worker from the other office that is moving here will start the last week of the month.  So I have some setup work to do.  It will be strange having him here.  I am used to being alone.  Plus he tells me that he wants to learn parts of my job.  I can’t help but be a little paranoid, however I honestly think I am fine.  I just think my concerns are based on human nature and are knee jerk reactions.  He does a different job than I do, but our jobs are related to each other.  If this is a land mine that is going to blow up, there isn’t much I can do about it.  No one has told me that I am doing a crappy job, it’s quite to the contrary.  Overall I am happy here and plan on staying for a while.  I still do keep my eye out and there have been some attractive postings but I really don’t want to change jobs again.  The looking, applying and interviewing is enough to make me sick.  I am sure that I won’t retire from here but then again the way things are going the odds are favorable. 

So this time next week we will all be very happy because we will be on the eve of the holiday.  That is such a special time of year and I really wish that I had a human companion to spend it with.  Something about snuggling up and just sharing the moment with each other is attractive to me.  You never fully realize what you have until it’s gone or taken away from you.  I have many things I would say or do differently.  I don’t feel like I appreciated him fully.  His presence is very much missed and this time of year the pain is a little more fresh and worse than the rest of the year.  When I find someone I think it will be helpful or so I hope,  in that I would be focused on them in the now instead of what I had in the past. 

I started this post when I got here and then work happened and now its lunch time.  The days really do fly by here.  I am anxious for some R&R time but no matter how much you give me, I will always want more.  There are several other things that applies to, but I will let you use your imagination as to what I am speaking of.  For the record cats are not one of those items. 

The afternoon is a down hill slide.  Then there is the slithering home on the highway.  Traffic seems to be worse at night.  I would think that as we get closer to the holiday that more and more people would be going on vacation.  When I think of a holiday I am reminded about a lady who worked for my previous employer and she pased away on a holiday.  I remember the payroll people laughing and saying that since she didn’t work the day after there was no holiday pay for her.  Wow, they were so cold and heartless.  Much like the former mortgage company I am battling, there is a special place in hell for those people. 

I got an alert that my packages were delivered so I of course am anxious to get home.  One more package tomorrow and the final one arrives on Saturday.  Then were done for this round.  I made a wish list last night so when the next round comes I will know what to buy.  That is kind of dangerous but I have not spoiled myself and have been scrimping for a long time.  It is scary to spend the money but it also feels good.  Like yes I am getting something that I deserve.  Perhaps my sense of entitlement is set way too high.  However, just when I think I have everything I want something new comes along.  Funny how that works. 

Well on to eat my Chicken Salad Sandwich, watch my You Tube Videos and relax for an hour of which I hope I am not interrupted.  Then it will be back to the grindstone.  I hope your having a great hump day and that the weather is nice in your part of the world.  It’s cold here and there is snow on the way tonight.  I am not worried about it, just another day in the life.  The world doesn’t stop spinning.  Talk with you peeps later.

Virtual Kidnapping – Scam

Last night I was watching The Doctors and learned of a new scam.  You get a call from someone who claims to have kidnapped a relative of yours.  They put a person on the phone that is the gender of the relative they supposedly kidnapped and then they demand money from you.  In reality your relative is safe and sound and no kidnapping has actually taken place.  Apparently people have fallen for this and paid the ransom.  It strikes me that I would try to find the whereabouts of my relative before I even considered paying ransom.  Law Enforcement is investigating this but I thought of my readers when I heard of the scam and wanted to alert you to it.  

16 December 2014


So I was thinking about it and did some looking last night.  It makes total sense to get a consolidation loan, I will get a lower interest rate and payments are fixed over 3 years, however there is no penalty for paying the thing off early which is in my plans.  I applied last night and am waiting for the loan to fund, hopefully in a few days I will have the money and can pay off my credit cards.  I took out a little extra just in case something else crops up.  That extra money can sit in the bank and earn interest.

I also wrote the old mortgage company and demanded my escrow refund.  I filed a complaint with a regulatory agency in the hopes that would help pressure them into refunding my money.  The next step is to send them a certified letter that says if I don’t get my money by x date that I will file suit.  I will most likely prepare and mail the letter over the weekend and give them a hard and fast deadline.  That way if I don’t get my money I can file suit on one of my days off, instead of having to take time from work.  Honestly I would rather not have to sue them – just give me my money and I promise you will never, ever hear from me again.  I’m looking for a clean break.  They claim to have mailed me a small check almost a month ago but that check has never surfaced.  I sense it’s not coming OR they mailed the money to my late partners Bankruptcy Attorney.  However, if that were the case he would have reached out to me because legally he can’t cash the check.  Let’s hope for positive results, fingers crossed. 

I stopped by the pet store last night and picked up some spray by Bissell that said it was no scrub – just spray, let it sit and blot up.  Then when it’s all dry vacuum up and viola stain and odor gone.  If only it was that simple.  The odor seems to be gone but the stain, well that is still there.  It’s funny in that it almost looks like a kitten is monogrammed into the carpet.  I saw a guy that I have a crush on (who is a little young for me) but the guy who I met via Grindr well he wasn’t there.  No biggie.  I did some research and turns out it is recommended to clean up urine from carpets with COLD water.  Hot water or STEAM actually can set the odor in the carpet.  Who knew? 

Last night I was all set to break out the carpet cleaner but I was way too tired.  It was raining here and I had major traffic to deal with.  I was really wiped out and just couldn’t wait to get to bed.  I was asleep for an hour when my sleeping buddy (Marvin) woke me up because he wanted out of the room.  I didn’t know it but he just went to the bathroom on the floor.  I got up to let him out and you guessed it, I stepped in it.  I cleaned up my foot and by then he was ready to go back to bed.  I left the mess to deal with in the morning, that is just how tired I was.  I woke up early this morning before the alarm which is typical.  I am so tired.

The good news is I ordered new Gel Pillows and a Mattress Pad for myself.  I am sure that I will sleep better once both of these items come in this week.  UPS is scheduled to be at my house every day this week from today until Thursday.  So I will have something to look forward to each night when I get home, besides the furry beasts waiting for their grub 

When I finally was able to sit down to relax, I looked at TIVO and saw that I recorded a show on LOGO called STUDlebrity.  It’s about young guys who are gay, good looking and have chosen to use YouTube to broadcast their lives.  There is monetization with YouTube and some guys are making enough money to not have to be employed.  That is kind of cool.  Mark & Ethan were in there so I had to tune in to see what they had to say.  The term STUDlebrity comes from your good looking (stud) your almost famous (have a lot of followers – YouTube).  Interesting term.  I have wanted to have some form of a broadcast interaction with the world at large and YouTube is a great platform.  The problem is I really don’t want to put my face out there for the world to see.  I am not looking for fame, even though it does sound slightly appealing.  I want to talk about different topics, not necessarily broadcast my entire life.  I wouldn’t mind sharing my story but I don’t want to lament on what has happened.  Writing my book has helped get some of that out there.  I have thought of things that I should have published ever since.  I eventually suspect that I will modify the book to correct the mistakes that are there and perhaps add content and publish it as a different volume.  I am not in a hurry to do that.  As I mention in my book, me and my late partner came together over a shared interest in Amateur Radio  I used to see him with his equipment and talking with friends.  I watch Podcast and a Live Radio Show over the weekend and then watch YouTube videos – it’s no wonder why I want to get out there.  Making money from it well that is just an added plus, but I am not looking for the money.  My goal is to just talk and try to help people who are going through similar situations as mine.  Be it a consumer issue, a sexuality issue, or a life issue in general.  I just thought not putting my face out there is one thing, but if certain people hear my voice they will no doubt know who I am.  The biggest thing that is holding me back is the fear of rejection or being mocked.  YouTube people talk about negative comments all the time and well I don’t have time for that in my life.  Positivity yeah we can talk all day long.  Negativity I’ve spent my life embroiled in it and I am sick to death of it, so it’s time for a channel change!  Got an idea on how I can accomplish my goal?  Leave me a note in the comments.  I respect privacy and if you don’t want something published, say so and I promise I will be the only one who sees is (unless of course Google is spying on me). 

This afternoon I have to go through Diversity Training.  Really?  I mean with my make up I think I am well trained already.  However, I will do it because it occupies an hour of my time and work is paying for it.  So why not?  It also is an excuse to take a nap, which is more than likely what will happen.  Meetings that are boring just lull me to sleep and there isn’t anything I can do about it.  My body just has no tolerance for boring.  Sooner or later that will cause problems for me  A friend of mine tells me stand up, tell them you have a leg cramp and just walk around a little to wake yourself up.  Yeah, that is one method.  The other method is just tape my eyes open. 

I was talking with a co-worker who is unhappy, I really hate hearing her stories.  Her problem seems to be centered around 1 person in her department.  She is letting this person run her off.  She is looking for a new job and I am sure that she will find something eventually.  She was in government before coming here so I am sure that it will just be a matter of time before the right wheel is greased and presto she is out of here.  I wish her all of the happiness in the world.  She is talking about making more money.  I told her that money is nice but its much better to be able to relax at work and just be yourself.  Lord knows I feel 10,000 times better since I have been able to relax and don’t have to constantly worry about an ogre yelling at me or firing me.  It was to the point I was just paranoid all the time.  Plus to my knowledge I don’t have fake people here that pretend to be my friend to my face but talk crap about me behind my back or twist my words  Peace of mind is one of those priceless things in life that you can’t put a price on.  Hearing my co-worker I can only imagine how I sounded.  I know people don’t want to hear that crap but everyone needs someone to vent to.  I don’t mind listening and who knows maybe I can give you a tip or two. 

Well that’s all I know for now.  Thinking about supper and I have no idea what I am going to eat.  I know that I won’t go hungry.  I just hope that I enjoy whatever it is I have and that the commute tonight is much smoother than last night  We have true winter weather in the forecast for later this week, just in time for the weekend!  Wee.  It won’t stop me, might slow me down a little but stop me – nah.

Have a great Tuesday and I will talk with you peeps later. 

15 December 2014

Ye Old Update

I am done with on-call, thank the Lord above.  It honestly wasn’t terrible and I got the bulk of my calls last night from 1 person who just couldn’t manage to save documents to the system properly.  I finally was able to get to bed at 11:30p so I feel pretty much okay today, slightly tired but with the rain outside I think that helps factor into to how I feel.  Getting done with on-call makes me feel like I have my life back and I can do what I what when I want without any worries and I don’t have to be a slave to my phone.

Tonight I will be headed to the pet food store, need to pick up some chemicals for the rug.  I cleaned it over the weekend and that is an invitation to Bear to pee again.  So my hope is that if I can get it clean or at least get the bulk of the smell gone that might help.  I also broke down and ordered him pee pads – I just can’t keep this rhythm going.  It’s like insanity.  He saw me clean the litter box so he knew it was empty and I put fresh litter in but he just refused to use it.  I think he is just being lazy.  He comes over to me when I am on the couch and wants attention.  He loves it when I brush him.  He of course is eating and I still have to rotate his plate and last night we played before he decided to pee.  So that is why I think he is being lazy and that this isn’t a cry for help.  Perhaps I am wrong and if so I will feel horrible but there doesn’t appear to be a blockage because he goes like a gallon at a time, at least that is the way it appears to be.  I am not quite sure how to break him of this awful habit.  The carpet will be staying around for a while, so I have to think of something.  I guess it’s time for a Google or two.

I took some self photos of me to update my profile picture on the various dating websites.  I posted them and got some responses.  I found a younger guy who I gave some advice to on his profile.  He wanted to meet up, but I didn’t encourage that.  I just spoke friendly to him and he disappeared like vapor.  So I was thinking about it and last night I did it.  I dropped out of every site I was on.  Now I am not sure what purpose there is to life.  There is no question I was addicted to checking my phone to see if I had messages or if there was a cute guy that had joined up.  I am in withdrawals, but I am going to try to make it.  I will probably wind up going back but taking a break sounded like a healthy thing to do.  The quality of the guys is sub-part and most are looking to get their rocks off.  Now I want to get mine off as well but I know how to take care of myself.  I am after all addicted to gay porn.  So with that said, what I want more than anything is a companion and if things blossomed beyond that well great.  If not then I can always fall back on old faithful (i.e. porn).  I know there is a guy waiting out there for me but the problem is finding him and then knowing that he is the one.  Not sure how or when it’s going to happen but my eyes and mind are still open. 

Speaking of pet food, I went over this weekend and the guy was no were in sight.  I may see him tonight and if things are right I will ask him.  I kind of think that he was just being nice and telling me that he was interested because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings especially with what I have been through.  If that is truly the case then I wish he would be up front and say something, instead of stringing me a long and giving me false hope.  I mean it’s going to hurt either way but there is a way to make it hurt less by being honest. 

I was surprised this morning when I got up to have a message from an old family friend that I came out to when things were at their lowest point earlier this year.  I figured he wouldn’t talk with me anymore, but he did.  He just asked how things were going.  I wrote him back before starting on this post.  That felt pretty good.

Yesterday I felt the need to do some cleanup on my friends on FaceBook.  I got rid of a few people.  One lady in particular I used to work with I told her I was gay and ever since then it’s kind of been hands off.  We did get together for a bite to eat.  Then she asked me to help with some computer stuff but never made the time for me to come over.  She promised me the world but just never delivered.  I sent her my late partners left over hearing aid batteries by mail and never even so much as got a thank you or any acknowledgement that she received them.  I’ve been wanting to unfriend her for a while but just haven’t been able to do it.  Last night I was sitting looking at her profile and was nervous but I did it.  That helped me continue on with the process.  Now it’s never a good day to lose a friend but if this really bothers her, then she should be reaching out via e-mail or phone saying hey what happened, I noticed were not FB friends anymore.  I don’t have a lot of friends.  I have had my fair share of people who masquerade as friends but in time I figure out they are phony and drop them like a hot potato.  I could use more true friends and less phonies who just want to take me for a ride and use me for what they can get out of me.  If you are a friend then I am happy to help when and where I can – I am very guilty of putting others before myself.  I realize that I have to come first so I am working on making an adjustment to that. 

I have managed to pay off my car, the payment is scheduled but it’s not official until later this week.  I should have the title by the end of the year, which will be nice!  Now I own 2 automobiles and when the timing is right I will be trading them in for something new  I have done Christmas shopping for myself and got a fitness tracker.  It doesn’t look like it will be here until Wednesday.  The thing I like about it is that you decide how you want to wear it as a clip on or as a watch, plus you can take it off and press a button it will give you a pulse ox reading which I think is uber cool.  It’s called Withings Pulse O2 Activity, Sleep, and Heart Rate + SPO2 Tracker for iOS and Android.  It was $100 which I think is a fair price to pay.  Plus I got the rollers for the garage door as well as some OTC medicine that I take along with pee pads and dropped a fair amount of money. 

My next big goal is to try to get out of debt.  I have thought about taking a consolidation loan out and am already pre-approved, but there is a huge fee for taking out the loan and the interest rate is slightly less than what I am paying on my credit cards.  The good news is that the payments would be fixed to a specific time period and there is no fee for paying it off early.  I honestly think I could make a go of it but I am trying to avoid it because it’s more credit.  I don’t want to take it out and then have a need where I have to run my credit cards back up again.  Things are starting to look up and I think if I can just hang on a little longer that the money situation will clear up.  If I could get rid of this bankruptcy that would also help out a lot.  Next year should be my year. 

So goals for 2015 .. Get rid of his bankruptcy.  Get out of debt and build savings.  I don’t make resolutions because they always get broken.  I think those goals are attainable but they won’t come without some serious work and sacrifice on my part.  I am already starting to pay cash for things, which is a step in the right direction.  They say that if you file Bankruptcy one time, you are destine to file it again because you won’t fix your mistake.  Yeah my mistake before was that I used credit for everything and lived way beyond my means.  I have curbed that and understand the pitfalls now.  The best and only way to use credit cards is to pay them off in full each month.  Something I had been able to do until I started this new job and ran up a nice tab, had to get a desktop and then treated myself to a laptop – so it was a trap and I feel into it.  However, I am not so far in that it is impossible to find a way out.

It was a slightly relaxing weekend.  I have Chicken Salad Sandwiches all week long and Fritos Twisted Honey BBQ Corn Chips to munch on.  I am pretty happy about that.  I tried some Vegan, Kosher Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Gelato and well I’d really prefer the regular stuff.  It’s okay but it tastes like it’s missing something.  I am not a health food person and certainly not a vegan, I love to eat meat (yes that has a double meaning :) ).  Tonight supper will be left over Tombstone Pizza.  Then I get the fun of cleaning the rug and taking the trash out, prepping for Tuesday and coming back to work to do it all over again.  Hard to believe that once we make it through this week that Christmas is next week and I only have to work 3 days, well 2 1/2 I suppose if they let us go early. 

I hope that you had a great weekend and that the week ahead is pleasant and uneventful.  I will talk with you peeps later.  Take care!

12 December 2014


Were getting even closer to Monday!  Last night I stayed late for coverage, we didn’t get any calls of course.  Then fought traffic to make it home with 5 minutes to spare.  I got 2 calls but they were later in the evening, while I was relaxing.  I was able to sleep until 2am when someone sent me an e-mail that woke me up.  Thankfully I was able to go back to bed and here we are with life as I know it.

Today has been crazy printer and dictation issues have consumed my day thus far.  I hope that what is left of the day is smooth sailing because I would like a break.  I have told myself that I am getting McDonald’s tonight.  It’s something I have been craving and I haven’t had in a very long time.  So looking forward to a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and some fries with lots of Ketchup.  The children will no doubt beg but it’s all mine!

We are taking up a collection at work for our cleaning lady who witnessed one of her relatives get murdered in broad day light.  Having lost many people in my life I can tell you that the gesture will no doubt be appreciated and will quite probably send her over the edge with being so thankful.  In exchange for giving you can wear jeans.  I never participate in these events but I did today.  However, I am not wearing jeans but I do have pants on!  :)

I’ve been thinking about the on-line dating thing and have been giving serious consideration to taking a break from it for a while.  I haven’t gotten the desired results and with the holidays coming it’s kind of depressing.  I haven’t committed to the idea just yet, still tossing it around.  I did update my profile photo in the hopes that it will garner some guys attention.  I kind of feel like a slave to it in that I am compelled to constantly check to see if there is someone interested in me.  I feel the same way about FaceBook but I haven’t given it up.  I suppose we all have become addicted to staying in the know.  With the advent of cell phones and instant almost anything it’s no wonder why.

I pray for a quiet weekend and that I am allowed to get Cat Food, Groceries, The Mail and maybe even a bite or two to eat.  Without having to worry about being on-call.  The week is bad but the weekend is way worse in my book.  Soon it will all be over and life will go back to normal.

I posted my question about the escrow account and the former lender on an on-line forum.  I asked for what the law said.  The response I got back from an attorney said there is no time limit, it varies by lender.  If you want to force their hand, file suit.  Yeah that is great but if there is a law that is on their side then I would look like a fool and would be doomed to losing.  So I responded your telling me there is no law on this, right?  I am interested in the response I get.  Someone is lazy and just doesn’t want to look it up.  Little do they know I already have someone doing exactly that.  I am trying to put some speed into getting my results.  The quicker I know the answer the quicker I can go after these people  I want to get my money as fast as I can.  The $50 check they said they sent last month still has yet to show up.  I can only imagine that I will have to play games to get my money.  They just want to fuck with me one last time, because they can.  I am not above suing them, but really hope that I don’t have to go that far.  That will be added expenses and time.  Just fork over what is mine and I can promise you that I won’t give you any trouble.  Hold on to it and were going to do battle until someone gives up and that won’t be me, I am persistent, especially where money is involved.  Like a dog with a bone!  We all know I took on a Large Union and I am not afraid of a little mortgage company that thinks they are hot stuff.  I was researching them yesterday on-line and there are complaints in the thousands against them.  They were even sued by a Federal Judge and his wife.  Clearly they need to be put out of business but not until they fork over my money.  It’s like my loan officer said there is a special place for them in hell.  I believe that. 

Well back to work.  I hope you all have a great weekend and I will talk with you peeps later.