My Salesman

Hope you are all doing well. Happy Friday eve or better known as Thursday. One more day to go!

Yesterday I was in a meeting and my boss said that his boss was calling so he paused for a moment, by the time he went to answer the phone he had hung up. A few minutes later his boss was calling me. I dropped off the meeting and helped his boss out with what he wanted. He reached back out later in the evening reporting a problem and I worked through that with him via email. I figured all was well because I heard nothing further. We are well into the afternoon. My boss just called and said that his boss was reporting problems and asking for his help. We reviewed what I did, and everything looked good. My boss is going to handle it and get it worked out. I just hate dealing with his boss. That man apparently loves me because he hits me up all the time. It makes my skin crawl to see his name on caller id or in an email. I’m sure if I get a promotion I will be working more with the dummy and that is unsettling to me. I don’t show any fear or hesitation externally but internally I am nervous as hell working with him because he will pick things apart and if there is one thing out of line, you will hear about it. He also loves to set you up; he will ask questions that he already knows the answer to. It’s not like he is a homicide detective trying to solve a murder and hell were all supposed to be on the same team working for the same organization! I don’t know why he does that it’s counterproductive. I’ve always disliked the man and even my late former boss disliked him.

In one of our meetings yesterday I learned that the mistake maker will be taking the last of his time in November through mid-January. That’s going to make it difficult for those of us that are left working but I’ve gotten through him being gone before and since this is the last kid he will ever make, I think I can muster up enough gumption to get through another period without him. The crazy thing he told me was that HR doesn’t ask for any proof that you had a child, other than if they need benefits you have to provide them with an SSN (Social Security Number), otherwise you could say you had a kid and take the time off and no one would be the wiser. Kind of makes me want to tell them that I am adopting a child just to get 12 weeks paid leave. I’m not going to do that but wow it’s so tempting. I could certainly benefit from paid time away.

It’s been a busy Thursday. I had my normal 1^st of the month junk to deal with but normal work came in as well and one person that loves to cry wolf sent an email to a bunch of people reporting a problem. I was able to call them out and tell them they were lying because there are no logs to support what they were reporting. It was fun to reply to everyone and send that email, it made them look stupid. I don’t know why people think they need to send an email including multiple managers just to get action. If you reach out to one person, they will take it and run with it. Ah corporate culture is toxic for sure.

Got the trash set out before the rain moves in. Today it’s extremely hot here in the 90’s, which is highly unusual for this time of year, but it’s happened before. There is a cool down coming with rain today and tomorrow. The weekend is supposed to be in the 70’s and sunny – hopefully that is the case, and I can get motivated to get my outside work done.

This morning woke up to an alert from one of my banks that they thought a fraudulent check was presented for payment. Turns out it was the check for the guy that did the column work. It wasn’t fraud at all. I don’t normally write checks that large, so I am very pleased they reached out. Also, glad that he finally cashed the check. I don’t like the fact that he did a mobile deposit, I can only hope that he shreds the original, but he doesn’t impress me as that type of a guy.

I watched a Kevin Williams scene last night; jeez he was so cute and in great shape as a younger man. He was for sure most gay men’s dream. He had such a great smile to add to his appearance.

Had Tuna Noodle Casserole for supper last night, it was pretty good for being a frozen dish. Stouffers makes some great things and that just happens to be one of them, in my opinion. Tonight I think it’s Baked Potato Soup. I’ve got Chili as well but saving that for Friday!

Rudy appears to be back to normal. He drank a lot of water yesterday and was a little clingy. By bedtime I could tell he was his normal self or so it appeared. He is acting normal today. I never got to brush him yesterday, but I am certainly going to make that happen today. He’s been grooming all day long and that’s how he gets his hairballs. I’ve always been concerned about the amount of time he spends grooming himself, but I guess he wants to look his best! Some cats are particular and he is for sure one of those. Mora does a decent amount of grooming but nothing close to what her brother does. Plus, they work on each other at different times. That’s just a cat thing that they all do. Who wouldn’t want affection? No one that I know of. Plus, they both try to groom me by licking my arm or when Rudy gets in salesman mode, he will wash my forehead and scalp. That’s how I know when he really wants something!

Is it normal?

Hello & Welcome in…

Taking a break today from my daily life, nothing spectacular to report. I’ve been wanting to write about this for a bit.

It’s no secret that I have a lot of favorite porn stars. It bothers me when I hear about one of them passing. However, when I do hear that one of them has passed away, I want to watch their work. This has been especially true for Blake Mitchell, Cole Claire, Kyle Ross, Kevin Williams and Scott Finn just to name a few. I also see that their content seems to rise in popularity and it begins to recirculate on the web.

While I know they are porn stars they become a small part of my life, especially when I follow them on social media and get to know the little bits they disclose about their personal lives. It also hurts me a little bit to hear when a favorite of mine has passed away. This is especially true when they are younger. The cause sometimes shakes me, like with Scott Finn who committed suicide. He seemed like such a genuinely happy person, he laughed and joked around all the time. Blake Mitchell was a huge surprise because he died in a motor vehicle accident, he was truly a victim.

Not sure if it’s normal to want to watch their work. Honestly if I had more going in my own life, I wouldn’t have time to form any type of a connection in my mind with a porn star. I know all too often people lose sight of the fact that they are people despite the fact they elected to do porn. There is a person there, good or bad, it’s still a human being.

Life goes on and I realize there will always be another porn star. However, there are some that were truly great at what they did. I know that I can’t be the only person that feels this way. Then again porn is my sex life now and I am closer to that industry than most people.

Done with Tuesday

Hi there!

Last night I took my sleeping meds a bit later than normal. It was a bit cooler overnight. I slept well, not sure if it was one of those things or both. Just wishing that every night’s sleep could be that good. I feel decent this morning. I spent half an hour downstairs this morning before I moved upstairs. That’s got to be a record.

I got a little bit of a break in before things started going crazy and the day got fully started. It’s been a busy one. Plenty of meetings as well, more than I usually have on a Tuesday. The boss called me twice. He shuffled some work my way and that kept me busy for a while, but I plowed right through it. I like to get things done so I can be available. This is especially true when I am on call because you never know what might be coming your way.

Poor Rudy had another hair ball. I brushed him again this afternoon and didn’t get a whole lot of fur off him. For good measure I brushed Mora as well and while I got more fur off her in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t a whole lot. I didn’t break out the Furminator because that brush really gets the fur off both cats. I did that over the weekend. The poor guy (Rudy) bugged me for food early in the afternoon just after making his mess. I knew better than to give in because he would only be asking for food again come supper time. I made him wait and he munched on a little bit of dry food. As soon as it was close enough for supper, I put food out for him and he happily ate.

Supper tonight for me was leftover pizza. I’ve only got one piece left and plan on finishing it for lunch and having it cold. I had a breakfast sandwich for lunch, there really wasn’t a lot of time to eat once we got into the afternoon and the many meetings I needed to attend.

Kind of glad that today is behind me. It’s not Friday yet but were inching our way there.

It was another nice and higher temperature day here. The AC has kicked on a couple of times and I’m sure it will run at least one or two more times before the day is done. My favorite tree in the neighbors yard across from me has started to turn. It goes from green to yellow to red. I try to capture a photo each year when it is all red. Shortly after that all the leaves fall from it. This is a sure sign that not only are we closer to colder weather but the end of the year.

I hope that you had a great day. Take care!

Found the money tree

Here we go again another week ahead of us. I scheduled some vacation this morning, I took 2 intervals of 3 days. The first is after election day and the second is the 3 days before Thanksgiving. So, I have some time off to look forward to. I still have roughly a week to use before the end of the year. Right now, I am saving it as a cushion in case I get sick, but I might just schedule it. I’d like to take a week this month but thus far have talked myself out of it.

I had a great pizza yesterday afternoon. As per usual no hot guy candy to look at. Some kids came in with their parents after a soccer game. The parents announced to the entire restaurant that the kids lost their soccer game by a lot. The kids didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Unfortunately, there were flies in the restaurant and I kept having to shew them away and almost wound up spilling my soda. I was happier when I put the leftovers in a box and headed home. I am not a fan of insects.

Had a relaxing evening with the cats. Found out why Rudy was so clingy. He wasn’t feeling well and produced a hell of a fur ball. I kind of thought that was the case. Both cats got brushed and their nails trimmed earlier in the afternoon, this was pre-fur ball. Mora put up one hell of a fight with her nail trim, but it hasn’t harmed our relationship, which I am thankful for. I love her and her brother so much the last thing I ever want to do is hurt either one of them. I think she knows that. I’m not a fan of having my nails trimmed either and I do that job myself. I don’t know how anyone sits still for a nail trim by a stranger.

I popped an extra sleeping pill last night and had a good night’s sleep, despite a couple of wake-up calls to use the restroom. Once I got back in bed it was lights out and I was in dream land all over again. Really wish that I could sleep like that every night it would make me a much happier person, not to mention that I would feel so much better. Sleeping is a huge requirement for me, and I love it very much. I fell in love with it as a kid and it’s a love that has lasted well into adulthood. The same is true for food and men!

Woke up to a nice cool morning start but it’s going to heat up as the day wears on, and it will feel more like summer today and the next couple of days, which I am okay with. It will be in the 80’s, which isn’t horrible. Might as well enjoy what warmth we have left while it lasts because soon colder will be normal. The best thing about that is that all the bugs will be dead, that is the only good thing about colder weather.

I forgot to mention this in my update yesterday. Often when I get to the checkout at various stores I am asked did you find everything okay or a similar question. I always answer yes, I found everything but the money tree. I’ve been saying that for years upon years. My late spouse said it as well. Yesterday when I was at the grocery store, I passed the floral section and saw they had 8-inch money trees for sale. I paused and just took that in. I never actually knew there was something called a money tree. I told the cashier about it. He didn’t know it as well and once he handed me my receipt, he headed back to see them. The cashier told me that I should run back and get one, it might grow. I told him I was born at night but not last night. It was a nice smile moment.

On the work front it’s not been a horrible Monday but I have had busy spikes here and there. My schedule has a bit more tomorrow and there is no shortage of meetings to attend. I’m hoping that this is a quiet and fast-moving week, I hate being on call. Speaking of which, it’s almost time to put together next year’s on-call schedule. The only thing I need is a list of our company observed holidays which won’t be released until a bit later in the year.

I hope you had a great day!

Weekend Update

Saturday …. As per usual my insomnia kicked in early in the morning. I sat up and looked for something to watch. Sadly, I found something on Peacock an old tv show called Too Close for Comfort. Looks like I’m keeping Peacock, at least for now. Eventually I was able to fall back asleep and Rudy let me sleep in until 7a. That was awfully nice of him. I got up and got the cats and myself breakfast. Then off to the shower. I was partially dressed and sat down to watch TV; I had a little bit of time to kill before my haircut appointment. That time passed by quickly and I finished getting dressed. I was early for my haircut as usual and had to wait on my barber to finish up with their current client. I had some plans for today but feeling tired all I wanted to do was go home, get undressed and crawl back into bed. So that is exactly what I did. The cats didn’t seem to mind.

I rotted in bed and my room for the bulk of the day from sleeping and watching TV. I passed out lunch for the cats, only because Rudy was insistent about it. I grabbed a soda and some chocolate and enjoyed more of the TV show. Eventually I opted to turn the TV off and start on laundry. I had some finance work to catch up on and then veered off into the world of porn. Before I knew it I needed to leave for supper.

Backup stairs threw on my clothes and headed out. I went for BBQ only because I was supposed to have a reward since it’s my birthday month. Turns out that reward wasn’t on my account. Last year the place moved my birthday month to October. I said something to the manager, and he was supposed to have corrected it but apparently that did not happen. I wasn’t pleased about that, and my dippy waitress didn’t offer to get the manager or fix it. I wanted to get going because a charter bus had just pulled up and the people were piling in. It took me forever to work my way past all the people coming in. I held the door and when I got a chance moved to the second door and eventually, I was free and in the parking lot. My next stop was to get the mail. Then came home.

For the longest time I would pass by those speed trailers that our town has and never get alerted by my radar detector. Those days are over, they use photo radar and my radar detector supports it. The town my doctor is in has photo radar setup at each intersection so if you blow a light, they snap your license plate and mail you a ticket. The alert is super loud and obnoxious, but I know the sound. Well, I passed by one of those speed trailers and had an alert way in advance, so when I passed by it thanked me for driving safely. I saw on a YouTube video some cities have mounted Flock cameras in those trailers so they can capture your license plate.

Since I arrived back home, I have been working more on the laundry. Also, the computer. Got it all tuned up and it is working better. All week long I would open a spreadsheet at work and when I would have to type in numbers it would cause Excel to crash. Not exactly sure what the number pad was sending but I didn’t have any issues on my laptop, so I knew my desktop had to be rebooted. Hopefully, when I log in on Monday things are back to normal.

Rudy has been super clingy and sleeping in my lap off and on while I have been browsing sites and playing. As I typed this up, he woke up and looked at me, as if to say come on it’s time for bed. The look he gave me was dirty and I know he was trying to make me feel guilty. Yeah, it sort of worked because I am saving this and heading up.

Not exactly a productive day as I would have hoped but it was enjoyable. Hopefully tomorrow will also be enjoyable once I get my morning errands out of the way.

Sunday … Had some insomnia but managed to get back to sleep without having to watch TV. Both cats helped me with that. So thoughtful of them, just makes the bed crowded. Woke up on time. Fed the cats. I got ready & dressed, headed out for breakfast and then hit up the grocery store. This was Target weekend, but I opted to skip it and just picked up a container of cat treats at the grocery store. Debated on topping off my tank the gas gage said that I can travel 320 miles, and it’s just used a little fuel from the last fill up. I decided on coming home. Got the groceries put away, then unloaded the dish washer and put the cats fountain in. I went and got undressed and watched TV before my food coma kicked in. Eventually I passed out for a little bit. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I heard a lawn mower running and Rudy wanted his lunch, so that got me out of bed. I fed Rudy and peeked out the back door. Saw the neighbors’ kid on the lawn mower. He was riding around a little like I used to when I drove one as a kid. I was totally reckless, but this kid was much more controlled. It took me back in time watching him and wishing that it was me instead. Got my medicine put out for the week. Then put the cats’ fountain back together. The motor needed to be cleaned as well and that’s where the bulk of the crud was. I got it flushed out and super clean. Both cats watched with anticipation as I put the fountain back in service. They had a dish of water while it was in for maintenance, and they both drank a little out of it. Once the fountain was back up and running, Mora dove in and drank like I’ve not seen her drink before. Fresh clean purified water from a jug. I drink from the tap. The cats get superior treatment!

I cleaned the house and then decided to run some cleaner through the dishwasher. I grabbed my next load of laundry and headed down. I was alone for a while. Got my inbox cleaned out finally. Nothing like a zero inbox, I like it tidy. Just started surfing for porn and Rudy came back down. He is in my arms sleeping again as I work to type this. I kind of had other plans but there is nothing like cuddle time with him. He doesn’t do this that often, but when he does it’s so cute and I savor it. He beats his tail against me or the desk until he falls asleep then he is perfectly still. Last night he fell asleep twice. Right now, he’s working on it but just not quite there yet.

Thinking about supper I am headed back to my hometown not sure if I am getting Mexican or Pizza, both are in roughly the same location. The pizza place is where they used to have hot younger guys for waiters but that has pretty much dried up and you might find a guy there but it’s mostly girls. The pizza is good and honestly, I haven’t had it in a while, so I am seriously considering it. However, in my mind I really want to stay local either hit up a local Mexican place or go to the pizza place that has not so good pizza and get my favorite pasta dish that comes with a small salad and garlic bread. I always leave there full and happy.

Not like I have anything going on for the day, need to run some cleaner through the washing machine as my laundry dries. There is some outside work that I need to do but just not in the mood. That’s about it. Well looks like Rudy can’t get comfy so he just left me. I am thinking of heading up for a bit anyway. The new neighbors sure have a crowd of cars, not sure if that is going to be the norm but based on the cars it looks like two families living there. The driveway and the street are full.

Hope that it’s a good day for you! Back to my normal routine tomorrow. Take care!

Man Candy - Random guys from Tumblr

Logan Ryder's solo debut @ Corbin Fisher

Hot guy alert!  Logan Ryder was introduced this week as the newest guy on Corbin Fisher's site.  He's pretty hot in my book.  Then again I am a sucker for a Blond.  He has done gay porn, I was able to locate an Only Fans Scene which he bottomed in and did a great job.  Below are a few photos.  If you want to see more of him check out CF's site.  

Corbin Fisher has managed to find several guys that I am really into over the years and I've spent a lot of time watch their work.  Chandler (who's super hung) Jacob, Josh, and Kennedy are a few of my all time favorites.  Thought you would all enjoy this!

BARE MINIMUM FRIDAY

We made it to Friday, yay!

The morning started off early for me, woke up around 6a thanks to my body. Rudy came in and was resting on top of me. He got settled and spun around so he was facing the door, as if there was any threat that is going to enter. If there was, I’m sure he would run and hide. Anyway, I let him sit for a few minutes before I decided to let him know I was awake. That’s when he commenced with his happy dance, aka biscuit making. He nuzzled my face and gave me a love bite on my chin. We got up and started the day.

I still had nothing big going so I logged in upstairs and got comfy on the couch. Noodled around a little bit at work and then sat and waited to see what the day would bring. After a couple hours nothing had come in. I was growing tired and decided to head off to my bedroom to lay down. Both cats were sleeping.

No sooner than I got comfy in my bed with my trusty phone by my side, both came in. Mora snuggled up next to me and Rudy got in between my legs and laid down. We watched a little TV and as I was enjoying and appreciating the experience, that’s when things started up at work. Go figure. I sit and wait in anticipation for hours with nothing but if I step away for a moment that’s when all hell breaks loose.

I wound up getting into it with a manager from another team. He was being stupid and telling me to do something that I told him I had already done. I put him in his place because I’m tired of BS and just don’t want to deal with outright stupidity. I’m sure that wasn’t a career endearing move, but no one called me on it. I’m worrying about it more than I should be.

I saw something on social media two Fridays in a row that said essentially that Friday is the day of the week to do the least just to get by. I decided to adopt that methodology and thus far it seems to be slightly working for me. It would be nice to have our work week changed to 4 days instead of 5 and while that bill is kicked around, I honestly don’t think there is a chance that it will pass. Too many companies and lobbyists will probably make sure of that. Still, I can hope and dream, there is no charge for that.

Then the afternoon rolls around and I wound up joining a meeting a half hour before it even began. I realized my mistake quickly and left. Joined back up when it was time. Had to listen to my boss and see his fat face. He yammered along with the vendor we were meeting with. The meeting was over and then he had us join him in a meeting afterwards to recap what happened in the meeting, we had to listen to him compose an email (which is normal). He likes to have an audience when he is sending emails but it’s annoying to me and a waste of our time. Maybe no one else minds but I sure do. Not like I can do anything about it though.

Fetched the trash barrel early this morning, it felt nice out at 58 degrees. Compared to the hot and humid weather we had last week. My AC has for sure run a lot less this week.

Finished off the Lasagna Soup last night. Surprisingly the cats left me alone, which was nice. I didn’t go to bed hungry, but I really wanted something sweet before I called it a night.

My next food dilemma is do I want Chili for Supper or Chicken Pot Pie. They both sound appealing to me. I am going to look to see what the expiration date is on the Chili and that will make my decision for me. I know I’m going to enjoy whichever one I decide on.

Not sure if it’s my new neighbor or a helper of theirs but someone rode up on a motorcycle yesterday. It was parked on the street all day long. Once it got dark and everyone was settled in there was a loud crack as it started up. Scared me and the cats at the same time. I hope that is not a regular thing that I have to listen to. It’s a quiet neighborhood for the most part. Once and a while we get someone advertising, they have a stereo or a loud car but otherwise it’s quiet. I enjoy that and know that is one of the big draws to our neighborhood. It’s busy at times but still even with normal pedestrian and automobile traffic folks tend to be silent and that’s not a bad thing in my book.

Thinking a little bit of the hot college guy and really wanting some companionship. I don’t feel nearly as low as I did last weekend. I have a sense that feeling might be coming back especially with the weekend approaching and me having nothing but time on my hands. Hopefully it doesn’t return because it is no fun. I am horned up, at least that is something that I can take care of on my own. It is a great way to end the day and drift off to sleep. Hopefully, I have enough strength to make it happen.

Now bring on the weekend or at least Saturday. I enjoy that day the most, especially knowing that I have the next day off. I hope you have a great weekend!

Sad News

 

I found out that Kevin Williams [real name Ted Currall] a gay porn star (pictured above) from the 80’s and 90’s passed away on Tuesday.  He was a hot blond in his day; he was a bottom. He is one of the first porn stars that I recall getting off to.  He worked with several big (and hung) stars in porn like Tom Chase, Chad Douglas, and Jeff Palmer.  He had several scenes with Falcon Studios which was the first gay studio porn that I quickly became a fan of.  Kevin also did work for other studios. There has not been a cause of death released but from what I have read one of his friends didn’t call 9-1-1 in time.  Some people just freeze up and are unable to think/act when an emergency like this occurs.  I get that it’s overwhelming but getting help quickly and doing CPR (provided they aren’t breathing and there is no pulse) is their only chance.  He was 60 years old, which is still very young!  I know it’s common to speculate that it was drugs since this was a former porn star, but it might be something that we never know.  He left behind an amazing body of work, no pun intended and I really hated hearing this.   

In other news, I had to go downstairs to start my day.  There was some catchup work that I needed to do and that required 2 screens.  Once I was done that is when I went to doing my personal browsing and found out about Kevin Williams.  Once I came up stairs I was permitted to rest and Mora snuggled up with me.  It was a good time that I really didn’t want to end.  However, work eventually called and I had to get back to it. 

Today is wide open other than a meeting with my boss that I had this afternoon.  It was our usual touch point that we have every month.  I hate these because I think they are a waste of time.  No way I am telling him my true feelings because it would radically change things for me and not for the better.  He asked me if there was anything going on at the office.  I told him not that I am aware of.  He told me that they are still working on my so-called promotion, which is what he has been saying for the longest time.  If that position opens it will be closer to the end of the year and won’t be effective until January 1^st at least that is my anticipation because I know how they do business.  He wanted me to have another training session with the team on the firewalls, I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted, so I scheduled it.  We established an agenda and it’s short and well within my ability to complete. 

When I watched the morning news, I was so happy that I was working from home because traffic was shutdown on the normal route I would take to get to the office.  There was a fatal accident.  There have been several fatal accidents on this route within the past few months.  People speed like they are driving in a Formula 1 race.  You’d think with the rising cost of gas people would slow down to conserve fuel but that’s not the case.  Hopefully, this doesn’t become a continuing growing trend.  The police presence used to be heavy to deter speeders, but they have eased up way too much and given folks a comfort feeling.  No matter where you’re driving at you must be hyper aware of your surroundings that includes what is around you.  Crashes happen in a split second, and they are all over way too quickly. 

My new neighbors are continuing to move in.  I think they have a small child because there was one that tripped my back door camera, he was taking pictures of my deck.  Not sure why he needed to take photos.  That was disturbing to me because apparently there was an adult watching or perhaps coaching him in the background.  Hopefully, this doesn’t become a regular thing.  I’m not big on folks trespassing but I have tolerated a lot.  These folks are new so giving them the benefit of the doubt.  The old neighbor came back to pick up one last item he had in the back yard.  I saw him and the new neighbor talking and he (the former neighbor) was pointing towards my house.  I think they were talking about the tree that is on the shared property line, but I have no idea.  It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if they chopped down the tree because eventually it will come to that.  The tree is dying a very slow death.  As long as it doesn’t fall on my property, I’m good.  I have been the primary person who has taken care of trimming it, but nothing has been done with it in a couple years.  I took the trash out this afternoon and saw that the For Sale sign was still in the front yard.  That’s kind of odd since the house was sold but there never was a sold sign that went up. 

I plan to finish off the Lasagna Soup tonight; there isn’t a whole lot left but I’ve survived on less.  I’m sure one of the cats will be on my heels thinking that I am eating their food again.  It’s kind of funny but more so aggravating.  I don’t want to have any accidents, which is why it upsets me. 

I’ve scoured Peacock.  They really don’t have anything that I am interested in.  I plan to cancel the subscription over the weekend.  I did see that they had a reboot of Queer As Folk but I watched the trailer and it wasn’t appealing to me.  I saw a couple hot guys, but I doubt that they went to the extent the US version did to show simulated realistic sex scenes.  That along with the overall cast and content is why I believe the US version was so popular.  I remember we (me and my late spouse) waited all week long to see what happened.  It was the one show/series that we both enjoyed.  It was such a good time, and I am thankful that I have that memory. 

Thankful that tomorrow is Friday.  The only thing on my calendar is a meeting in the afternoon with a vendor.  I am planning on working upstairs all day, unless the demand is different and I need 2 screens.  I have high hopes that I will be able to pull this off.  It’s my turn to be on-call next week and as per usual I am not looking forward to it.  Might as well bask in the relaxation while it lasts.   

Not sure what is up with Blogger, but I noticed a couple days ago that my other great blogs section is not updating to reflect current posts on other sites.  I looked at other blogs, and the experience seems to be the same for others.  Hopefully, that will be fixed soon. 

Finally, I’m sure you’re probably wondering about the hot college guy.  He’s not accepted my friend request.  I wish that I would have asked him out when I had the chance, but I still strongly feel that he would have declined because he’s straight.  I’d like to skip past all the dating, games and disappointment and just find my guy.  It is a shame that there really isn’t a way to do that.  It is just something that I must go through. 

Hope that all is well in your world.  Talk with you all again soon.

 

 

In Between

Hey, we made it to the in between day of the week. Two more days and the weekend will be here. That’s something that I look forward to. Thus far on my Saturday agenda am getting a haircut, and I’ve already got an appointment for that.

My new neighbors are moving in. They came by last night right at dusk and made a couple quick trips. They were noisy and that got the cats curiosity up. I told them that were getting new neighbors and there is nothing to worry about. They came back this morning and have been making trip after trip. I remember what moving in here was like even though it was many years ago. Moving is never fun. Nothing like moving to help you appreciate how much stuff you have and stuff that you kept that you no longer need. The new neighbors appear to be husband and wife. I figure that eventually we will meet; I’m in no huge hurry.

It’s mid afternoon when I am composing this, watching and listening to an auto auction. They have one auctioneer that I really enjoy listening to. Not exactly sure why I am attracted to this but it’s interesting.

Went browsing for jobs. I found a couple that would be a step backward for me, but I am more than qualified for, they are all in person. Saw a couple jobs that would be a step up and put me in Management but honestly, I really don’t want that. I know that is where the real money is and years ago, I was anxious about management. Now that I am older, I really don’t like managing headaches and dealing with corporate BS. Thus far I’m staying where I am at. I’m positive that if I took a step up and went to a new place and was in management that my stay would be short lived. It’s a classic case of the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.

Speaking of work, I realized this morning when I woke up that I didn’t have a whole lot going on today so I could just work from upstairs. I got logged in and then signed in to a couple systems and headed for my bedroom. I had a nice time relaxing for a couple hours before things heated up. That’s a benefit I don’t think I’d find anywhere else. I was available if there were any issues or work to be done but since there wasn’t I just took a nice long break. After a couple of hours, the day was in full swing, and emails were flying so I had to get up and work. I kind of hope for more days that start like today did. It is refreshing, not as refreshing as time away though.

I have successfully watched all of Roseanne. I looked around on Peacock and didn’t see anything thus far that seemed interesting enough to dive in. I will give it a second look before I cancel my subscription, I have a little bit of time. Speaking of subscriptions, I got a notification today from Pandora that my annual subscription is going up by $12. Unless my memory is off, they haven’t raised rates in a long time. I use Pandora for instrumental music, it’s great for me to concentrate and buckle down and dive into huge piles of work or projects. I can’t listen to music that has words/lyrics while I am working, it gets me hyper and I am unable to concentrate. However, it’s what I prefer to listen to when I am driving and I’m fine then.

Cats are both doing okay. Rudy has his salesman charm turned on extra today. He got lunch a few minutes early and was so happy about that. He is trying to get me to feed him now and it’s far too early for supper. If I gave in, then I’d have to pass out an extra can at supper time and then one or both would wind up getting sick. I’ve calmed him down, not sure how long that will last for, but I am hoping for the best.

Speaking of food, I had Cheesy Bacon Potato side dish for supper last night. It was good and Mora was after me for some of it but I ignored her long enough so that she went away. She waited for me afterwards and got in her cuddle/snuggle time in my lap.

It’s much cooler here today. We were in the 50’s when I woke up and it’s in the upper 60’s now. The AC has been resting for the bulk of the day.  It just kicked on and that surprised me.

As I was preparing for the morning, last night I had to open the dishwasher as I was out of bowls. That’s when I found that the soap pod didn’t fully dissolve so I had to do an emergency load of dishes. That meant no shower for me. I wasn’t pleased but having clean dishes to eat out of is quite important. The shower will happen tonight and am looking forward to it.

Take care.

Doing better

Hope that you had a great Tuesday! Mine has been just okay; it’s an average day. Best thing about today is that the boss is gone. I got some relaxation time in but as per usual it was short before my phone summoned me back to work.

There has been no movement on my friend request to the hot college guy. Just taking some time to reflect, I had a genuine attraction to him. We had a nice conversation. Of course I am in love with his body. However, I think that it’s likely I am the only one interested. If he does accept my friend request I will be pleased. I think that will probably be as far as it goes. I’d love a chance to chat him up in person because then I would just outright ask but that’s highly unlikely to happen. I feel better about the whole thing today and I imagine as the days go by that will continue to improve. Though it might be a while before I forget him.

In other news I’ve made it past all the early years of Roseanne. Just started when the show came back to life after years of being done. I think if I am lucky that I might get to cancel my Peacock subscription soon, that is unless I manage to find something else there to watch. I will get nosy and explore but I really don’t need another streaming service, but it is nice to have choices. Provided that I have something to watch.

Had Lasagna Soup last night for supper. Even though it didn’t come out of a can, Rudy still thought I was eating his food. He begged and begged me to give it to him, but I resisted, which isn’t easy when you’re dealing with “The Salesman”. He knows how to turn on the charm.

Much later in the evening yesterday, Mora wore me down and I had to open a second can of food for supper. They both pigged out on that. I knew what she wanted and held off as long as I could. I know that feeding them both too much results in them getting sick. Guess what I woke up to this morning? Yeah, I was unhappy but not surprised.

Weather has cooled off here. AC is still running now and then but for sure not all day long. Our sunshine has been limited, and it’s mostly overcast all day long. I much more enjoy a nice sunny day.

Tomorrow won’t be a whole lot of fun because the boss will be back and late morning a series of meetings starts, hopefully something will demand the boss’s attention, and he will have to cut our meetings short. After lunch we have a meeting with a vendor and by then I will be anxious for that meeting to be done. Hopefully it won’t be nearly as bad as I am anticipating, and the day will be just as easy as today was.

Off I go to enjoy the evening. Thanks for stopping by!

What I did

The more I think about this guy, the more I’m thinking that he probably doesn’t feel the same way about me that I feel about him.  However, you miss all of the shots you don’t take.  That said I thought I’d start small.  I sent him a friend request and am waiting to see what he does.

Honestly it will flatter me if he accepts but I anticipate that the request is going no where.  I’ve probably gone too far but if you would have seen his body you’d understand why my heart was a flutter. 

Kind of feels like I need to call the police and say he stole my heart.  That’s totally a joke!  Got to have some humor, even though I’m not really laughing. 

I think the only way I will meet someone will be in person.  I think unless I want just a hookup that apps are useless.  Think about it if you find an actual match and hit it off, the app loses 2 subscribers.  Apps have an incentive to keep you single in the hopes you will continue the hunt and give them your money. 

The single life has it’s advantages but there are more disadvantages from where I am sitting.  Being alone sucks.  Wouldn’t be so horrible if I had more friends.  Still convinced I’m dying alone and single, but I am trying to hopefully make that single part a false statement. 

Have a good evening!

Sober Reality

I am still thinking about the hot college guy that was here on Saturday for the column work. I unfortunately am head over heels for him. I’m glad that I didn’t send a friend request to the social media profile that I thought I found for him. It’s got some nice/sexy photos of a guy but upon second reflection, I am more “sober” today (not that I’ve ever been drunk). What I mean by that is a little less ruled by infatuation and my dick. Anyway, there’s no way that guy is him. It is some other hot guy that shares the same name. I had it all worked out in my mind that I’d send a friend request and then if he accepted I could make a move and see where things went. I am glad that I woke up and realized it wasn’t him before I did something stupid.

I feel something in my heart about this guy. I am awestruck by his beauty and enjoyed the conversation that we had. They call it hindsight because you reflect on something. It’s always 20/20. I’m telling myself that I should have made a move. I know he said something about wanting to be a doctor, then a wife and family. That leads me to believe he is likely straight.

The only social media profile that I know is his, is the one his college mentioned because he is a popular athlete. It’s set to private and there is only one post. Looks like he has plenty of friends based on the counters. I have a public profile on that platform but there is no content. I am thinking of setting my public profile private, adding some content and sending him a friend request to see if he accepts it. Time is on my side here but the longer I go the less likely he will be to remember me. My heart is a mess because I kind of feel like I let something pass by that I shouldn’t have. Yeah, I tend to fall for a guy quickly based on looks. This guy’s exterior looked tough and had I not talked with him I wouldn’t know otherwise.

While I want to get to know more about him and see if there is something there. Having others around could have prevented him from asking me. It for sure prevented me from asking him. He does appear straight to me and that is likely the case. Since I tend to fall for the straight guys. He knows where I live and could easily hop in his car and drive over and knock on the door. While I am old enough to be his father and that might be intimidating to him, he’s got more muscle than I do.

I should probably just let this go, that way there is no risk of real rejection or anything beyond that happening. I’m sure if I press this that I will probably wind up getting hurt emotionally. It is just that my heart is telling me to press, if you don’t try then you will never know. I’m smart enough that if I ask and get a no that I don’t press the issue. I move on, always have and always will. Emotions can be tricky to deal with, especially when it involves the heart. Still letting this go is something that I will likely do. I mean if there was no romantic interest there, we could just be friends, but I don’t think someone as young as him wants some old man for a friend.

On a different note, the mistake maker apparently has some illness making its way around his house, so he is out today. Says that he will be back tomorrow. Of course it happens during the week he is on call. I’ve been pulling the weight thus far. It’s not been horrible, but we did have a busy flurry this morning. The boss sounds like he is going to take tomorrow off, which sounds great to me, wouldn’t upset me if he was out for longer. He told me that he wants to surprise his son and do something with him spontaneously since the kids on fall break. Fall break, school just started. I never had one of those when I was in school. The most I had to look forward to was a holiday for a couple days at Thanksgiving and then again Christmas/New Years. Outside of that and the occasional Federally observed holiday, school was open way more than I think it is today for most kids. Then again, the world is a very different place today than the world I grew up in.

One or both cats apparently got sick overnight. I unknowingly stepped into something when I went to turn the light on in my room after having breakfast. Rudy didn’t like the first can I put out so I had to open a second can before he would eat. I think he’s the one who got sick. He ate lunch no problem. Both are resting now that lunch is done. Mora knows that I’m hurting so she comes over to cuddle with me, she can read me like a book, and I don’t have to say a word. At least I can lean on her a little bit. I am going to try to brush them to see if that doesn’t help quell this getting sick. I hate cleaning up messes but it’s worse when you step in it never knowing it was there in the first place. Do that in the dark in the middle of the night and wow it’s a hell of an instant wake up call.

Here’s hoping that I decide on the guy and stick with it, regardless if it’s right or wrong. That the week isn’t too bad and meetings are kept to a minimum. Anxious for the weekend as usual. I’m still looking at jobs but there really isn’t anything that appealing that I have found thus far. Tune in again to find out what happens. Thanks for stopping by!

Lonely

I’ve been thinking about the college guy yesterday and how I wished that I would have made a move. That’s even though I believe he’s straight. Hell, I might have at least been able to make a friend if nothing else. Every time I look out at the column that he painted I think of him. It’s like a reminder and it’s painful. He did a great job and I’m proud that the project is behind me, it’s going to be a while before I can look at the column and not think of him. I had a thought of trying to reach out to him via social media, but I know that is less likely to have the favorable outcome that I want. I’m not a weird person, just lonely sprinkled with a hint of desperation. While I’m not a fan of his boss I kind of want to call him and plan another job just to get the guy back here so I can ask him out. That’s not going to happen, but the thought crossed my mind.

I made it out for breakfast and I was very hungry. I had a delicious breakfast and then headed off to the grocery store. Then off to the gas pump. The prices per gallon are insane but since I usually don’t go below a ½ tank and that’s right where I was, my bill wasn’t horribly high but still I know that it could have been cheaper.

Came home and unloaded the groceries. I curled up with the cats. I got sleepy but I had problems falling asleep. While it was a pain, I think it will work to my advantage tonight or so I hope, because I need a good night’s sleep.

Had a horrible nightmare last night, it involved my favorite cashier at the grocery store. She’s an older lady and I don’t see her like I used to because she doesn’t work Sunday mornings. I was shaken when I woke up at 6a but was thankful that it was only a dream. I got up to use the restroom, and Rudy joined me when I returned to bed. He was hopeful that I would steer towards the direction of the kitchen instead of the bedroom. We had a nice cuddle session, and I tried to go back to sleep but that was pointless. The light in the living room turned on at 6:30a & that was my cue to get moving. I took my sweet time but made it out of bed and Rudy got his breakfast.

The loneliness pain is the absolute worst. I think that because of the fact I am gay, my age doesn’t help. I want the pain to stop and this problem solved. The negative way comes to mind of just dropping out of life in general. That would solve the problem but then I’d never get to know what the future had in store for me. Conversely the pain would stop. However, the only thing I am sticking around for is the cats. If it wasn’t for them, I think I would have checked out a long time ago. It’s been going on for long enough and yeah, I know that it’s all up to me, not like some hot guy is just going to magically come walking up to my doorstep but sure would be nice if that happened. I kind of feel like I get to see all these hot guys and some I ask out and get turned down; others play games. I’m not up for rejection but I know it comes with the territory and it’s something you must get used to, suck it up and move on there will always be another hot guy. However, the rejection can harden you and eventually you get to the point where you don’t want to take a chance because it’s probably going to wind up being the same no, sorry I’m straight. Humor but what ever happened to trying something new? My end game is sexually motivated but I’m NOT looking to jump in bed, I want to get to know a guy and make sure that were a match and we both want the same thing, then we can go hop in bed. I think that if I do ever actually get to have sex with another guy that I might have feelings of guilt, but I know my spouse is dead and gone, he would want me to move on. Just as if the shoe had landed on the other foot, I would want the same for him.

Still, I decided it was time to look at dating apps again. I got on something new with the intent on subscribing for a month, but they wanted $50. I didn’t really like what I saw and deleted my account. I downloaded another app to look around and try. I had no idea it wasn’t open to everyone that wanted to subscribe. I built my profile and am waiting to get approved. There are no options at this stage to delete my account, which is kind of what I want to do since it’s not open. I don’t have a comfort feeling about it.

I went out for Mexican food at my favorite place. The flavor I was looking for was there. It was nice to be out of the house. I really didn’t want to come home but I’ve had laundry to finish up, and the cats needed their supper so here I am.

Life – it’s full of emotions and experiences. Wish I would have enjoyed and appreciated my youth while I had it. I have lots of memories to reflect on, some good and some bad. I’m proud of the accomplishments that I have made over the last 13 years, and I know my late spouse would be proud of me as well. Never thought I’d make it to this point but here I am. Only thing left is to find a guy to share the rest of my life with. Would be nice to win the lottery and quit my job. If that doesn’t happen then some how either find a new job or find a way to be content where I am. If all these pieces fell into place, I tell myself the same lie repeatedly, I’d be happy. Truth is I’d be happier, but I don’t know for certain that I would truly be happy. I’ve had plenty of time to experience being sad, lonely and depressed. I’d like a chance to flip those emotions and experience years of happiness and positive things. I kind of think I have paid my dues but then again, I am biased.

Hoping for a great week ahead for all of us. Sincerely, thank you for stopping by it makes my day that you are here. Take care!

Man Candy - Young & Beautiful