Happy New Year

iPad & Today

Welcome  - Welcome – Welcome!  That’s my best John Oliver imitation. 

Getting my iPad setup was quite simple as I kind of expected.  The time consuming part is figuring out where all of the apps are and what I want to keep.  I mirrored it after my phone but the icon layout on the screen sure doesn’t mirror that.  I do still have a home button so much for getting used to face id, that’s not even a thing yet on the version of iPad I have.  I also don’t have a flash just a camera, which I find rather odd.  The keyboard and knock off Apple Pencil both work nicely.  The case is a great fit.  I did struggle a bit to get the iPad in the case but it’s got a nice tight seal and I feel confident that the case has the goods secured!

I didn’t realize what a time suck this would be.  I got lost in this.  Thankfully the cats nagged me enough that I couldn’t possibly miss their treat time.  It’s actually Mora’s treat time and Rudy just gets to eat along side her.  However, she is the one who craves treats the most and often will skip her dinner so she has room for them.  Spoiled?  Yep they both are and that’s just the way I want them! Happy & Healthy, even if they are a PITA (Pain In The Ass) at times, I sure do love them. 

I was surprised that MS Authenticator doesn’t work across platforms.  I will be moving to a 2FA app that works cross platform so that if one device is broken or lost/stolen I am not up a creek without 2FA codes to access all of the many sites that use and require this.  This is all personal stuff.  Work stuff I am not as concerned with, it’s work after all. 

I don’t feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday.  Sinuses seem to have calmed down but I do get flair ups of pressure and my gums/teeth still ache a bit.  I didn’t really realize it until this afternoon but I didn’t eat much last night for dinner, my appetite was not there.  I heated up a Chicken, Broccoli, Pasta & Cheese casserole.  My favorite dish by Stouffers.  It sat a little too long in the freezer so it looks a little funny but it tastes perfectly fine.  I am already thinking about skipping supper tonight but I will probably force myself to eat something. 

I am in work mode at the moment.  It’s been a hell of day thus far.  I have a little lull which is the calm before the real storm picks up come 5p.  I hope that I will be done and back upstairs by 7p but it’s not like I have to go to work tomorrow but the sooner I can put some distance between me and work the happier I will be.  I used to really enjoy this day years ago when I started in this role but now I see it for what it truly is work, all work.  I am chugging along taking my time and it will all get done just not as fast as I want it to. 

Not sure if I am going to my friends open house tomorrow or if I am going to just loaf.  Loafing sounds really nice especially since I had been dealing with a fever most of the morning.  I just want to collapse and do what I want which is nothing at all, just watch TV and give some attention to the cats.  Speaking of which it’s about time for their supper or the soonest that I can pass that out.  Might as well take advantage of it while I have the time. 

Hope that you have a great New Years Eve and that Next Year is a brighter and better year for all of us.  May your dreams and desires come true!  Talk with you all next year.  Take care!

New Year - New Post

I hope that everyone is having a good new year so far.  Sunday was a crazy day for me.  I got up later than I wanted but it was still early.  Fed the cats, got a shower and got out of here.  Hit up a place for breakfast, Target, The Grocery Store and Gas Station.  It was cold out and I was done for the day from a going outside perspective.

Got everything put away and spent time with the cats.  It got close to the time for my first work task so I incorporated a load of laundry and we all headed for the basement.  The cats were over joyed.  After a short time of me starting to work, Rudy started to bother me.  They spend all week begging me to come down stairs and were doing there for 15 minutes and then they nag me to come back upstairs.  That sure sounds like a cat to me. 

I got work done, caught up on personal stuff and then we headed back up.  I just had this burst of energy and it was difficult to sit still.  I had French Toast for breakfast and expected the sugar high to wear off and me to have to have a nap but that never happened.  Big surprise my appetite was also gone, I wasn’t hungry and never had any lunch.  The cats did though. 

All of the laundry got done, dishes put away (that never happens) and eventually it came time for the main event at work.  Once we went back down Mora was the one who wouldn’t leave me alone.  Rudy was upstairs waiting for us.  I picked Mora up and sent her on her way upstairs and closed the door.  Then back to work.  It was 2 hours total that I was down there doing nothing but work.  I knew that I shouldn’t have taken on as big of load as I did but I also know the job got done right the first time and there is no mess to mop up. 

Once the work was done I had a little bit of personal stuff to tend to, grabbed the calendars and headed back up.  Then I had to come back down for laundry to take up.  Then I went to check the air filter on the furnace because I forgot, it was fine. 

I had been fighting a neck ache all day and that’s usually the first sign I am about to get sick.  I tweaked it looking at guys at the pizza place I went to on Saturday.  I took some OTC pain medicine and just kept going.  I thought for sure I was either getting sick or maybe I picked up COVID, that is how it started the one time I had it but the neck ache was the worst one of my life and what I had been suffering from was minor in comparison. 

I did lots of writing, payed attention to the cats, hung out with the cats and some how managed to stay up until just after midnight.  I didn’t watch any NYE stuff on TV but recorded it.  I will review it and look at the entertainment (music) and may listen to some of it.  Anyway I climbed into my nice fresh bed.  Watched something on Max and I was drowsy and fell asleep.  Woke up, turned the TV off and white noise on.  Rudy climbed on top of me and I was out.  Not a bad way to end the year. 

Today I woke up early because that’s how my body is conditioned and Rudy wanted his breakfast so he was working his magic to get me up.  I fed them, had some milk and cookies and my morning meds.  Then climbed back into bed and worked on finding something to watch.  I was surrounded by cats and we started watching something.  Eventually I got tired and had to kick Mora out of bed so that I could roll over and turned the TV off and went back to dream land for a couple more hours. 

Woke up with plenty of time to grab a quick shower and get dressed for my friends open house.  I was the first one there.  I had one biscuit and some gravy.  Managed to squeeze a soda out of them and that was it.  I sat and chatted a bit but mostly did a lot of listening.  There was plenty of food and I would have gone back for more but one my appetite wasn’t there and two they weren’t serving soda so I was told that I got one and when that was gone I was out of luck. 

There were plenty of people and they started to leave after a couple hours.  I got bogged down with some old guy who was talking about some International Union that he was a part of and it was one of those situations where I was trapped.  Eventually he shifted his focus to someone else and the subject changed.  That’s when I made my move and grabbed my coat and headed out.  I was there for 4 hours, wished I could have left sooner.  Found out that they had Prime Rib for Christmas so kind of glad that I didn’t make it after all.  I don’t know why they had that when I’ve told them more than once I don’t care for steak.  I will go to a steakhouse but I will get Chicken, sounds odd I know but it’s just how I am. 

Made my way back home and kept thinking about tomorrow how it will be back to the same old stuff.  My neck feels better but still a little sore.  My appetite is still MIA but that’s not a bad thing.  I have a ton of left over pizza and am eating on that a little bit here and there.  I am already sick of it but considering the cost I will be eating pizza for a good part of the week.  I won’t want pizza for awhile but I will want a good eye candy show so I know I will be back at that place. 

The new naked men calendars are up and look really good.  I am keeping a close watch on the clock because I have to get ready for tomorrow and make sure that my lunch items are ready.  I plan to go in to the office unless I wake up feeling sick.  Kind of feels like something is going on with my body but just not sure what exactly it is.  I am not looking forward to going back and all of the BS that I deal with but ready or not it’s time. 

I am not a fan of a new year just because it feels like starting from scratch in many ways.  Sometimes that is a good thing but I guess it’s more of a reminder to me that I am all alone, the holidays are done.  I do hope that this is a better year for all of us.  It won’t be long before were in full swing for the election and the political ads will start flying.  I do not look forward to that and really wonder who will be the next US President, that will be very interesting. 

Funny thing when I made my Target run they had all of the Christmas stuff gone and were getting ready for Valentine’s Day.  They had candy in heart shaped boxes out and I thought my aren’t we just a little early with this.  That’s business though always out for the almighty dollar. 

Stay warm, be well and take care.  I will talk with you all again soon. 

2023–New Year

Happy New Year Everyone! 

I managed to stay up to ring in the new year but this was the first year that I didn’t watch and/or record any of the network TV New Year’s celebrations.  I was also in bed and had my white noise machine on.  I was watching YouTube videos when I eventually managed to finally fall asleep, woke up and powered off the TV.

You’d think with Gator gone that I would have gotten a great nights sleep by now but unfortunately that isn’t the case.  My body/bladder (one or the other) manage to wake me up.  Like this morning I woke up at 4a and sat until close to 6a before I got sleepy to go back to bed.

My day started at around 8a when I woke up and got dressed and headed for breakfast.  My timing was just right I beat a huge crowd in and the place was packed.  It was cold and foggy this morning, not the best weather to drive in but not the worst either. 

The grocery store opened at 9a and by the time I was done with breakfast and on my way they had already opened.  I did my weekly shopping but it kind of feels like I forgot something.  Probably because I didn’t buy any frozen dinners, I’ve got plenty from last week.  Plus if push comes to shove I can always go out (not that I will but it’s still an option). 

Made it back home and I was hot.  I cooled off a bit and had to wait for 11a when OfficeMax opened.  I got a new UPS and with my AAA discount they shaved off $21 which is more than I expected.  I brought that home, unpacked it, connected the battery and plugged it in to charge.  Then headed out to my friends “open house”. 

It was super warm out to the point where a long sleeve shirt was a bit much.  We were in the 60s which is a lot warmer than it was here this time last week.  So I rode down with the outside air on, the winter coat in the back seat and I was still sweating. 

Their house was packed and food was everywhere.  I was kind of overwhelmed and everyone kept telling me to eat but I sat for hours before that ever happened.  I waited for most of the crowd to dissipate which happened by 2p.  I got a soda, a fresh made waffle and covered it with sausage gravy.  Added in a couple of link sausages and when I was done with that, I went back for more gravy.  Then I nibbled a little on some summer sausage and chatted a bit.  I saw some old faces but lots of new faces and can’t tell you what 1/2 of the peoples names were that I met.  I kind of felt out of place because I got to talk when I arrived to tell a short story and then everyone else managed to monopolize the conversation so I just sat and observed.  I said something now and then but for the most part I was quiet.  I actually contemplated leaving because even though I was surrounded by people I felt like I was all alone – lost in the crowd if you will.  I’m glad that I waited and just let this play out. 

They closed up shop at 4p but I was there until a bit after 5p with their neighbor and we were all chatting but everyone was starting to get sleepy, including me and I left with their neighbor.  I figured that was a nice time to bow out.  It was dark out and despite not liking to drive at night things went okay for the ride home.  Lots of people were passing me but I drove only a mile or two above the posted speed limit.  Saw zero police but my radar detector had a few hits. 

Made it home, took my medicine and then put out my pills for next week.  How exciting.  I had a soda and nibbled on a few cookies.  I just don’t have the desire to eat right now.  This is how I should have felt weeks ago when I lost Gator but it’s almost like a delayed reaction.  I did have the thought that after this, I get tomorrow off and then it’s kind of all over and life goes back to full normal. 

Anyway, after my meds were out I started the dishes and gathered up all of the paperwork I had accumulated from purchases and that junk mail I got, grabbed the UPS and headed downstairs.  Got it hooked up and it’s working like a champ.  I think it’s a little larger capacity than what I previously had.  I searched on-line for replacement batteries for the old unit and I can get a pair for $45.  I am probably going to do that at some point and then move my old unit to my bedroom.  It’s got a LED readout and I think it would look nice and take away one of my concerns about having to replace the unit in my room, which should be going out at any point now.  I’ve bought so many batteries between all of the UPS’s recently and my car battery I am done with batteries. 

Speaking of which I learned a tip, if you have a bunch of batteries in your home (like AA, AAA and 9V) put them in the fridge they will last longer.  I had no idea.  I kept mine in a cabinet and when I needed them I found them all ruined and then had to go buy new ones.  I’ll be loading what I just bought last month into the fridge to help preserve them. 

I caught up on email, surfed for porn and found a couple things of interest.  Logged into my new mail order pharmacy provider’s site, played a little bit.  Then logged into my doctors internet portal to try to update my pharmacy, well I looked and looked but you only get that option when you do an e-check in just prior to a visit so later this week I should have that as an option.  I see the doc oddly 1 month to the day that I lost Gator, which will be next week.  Really doesn’t seem like that much time has lapsed but it moves fast (regardless if your having fun or not). 

There is plenty to do around here but I am running out of steam and since I would normally be winding down and relaxing by now my body is naturally starting that process.  I need to help it along with some meds and might as well brush my teeth & call it a night. 

I’d like to go out for breakfast tomorrow but a big part of me says stay home, eat here and take care of yourself and the house.  The other part of me says to hell with it, enjoy your last day off get out.  I will see how I feel in the morning and make my decision then. 

I am really hung up on this waiter guy.  I’m really horny and want him – but – I have to get to know him first.  He says he is going to call/text but then I don’t hear from him.  I really get the vibe that he said yes just because I caught him off guard but he’s got no genuine interest in me or plans to follow up.  He does however know my name and loves to incorporate that into as many sentences as he can if he happens to wait on me.  I know he’s working and hey I’m not one to beg or chase but I think it’s hormonal because that is all I want to do with him.  I feel like a puppy longing for attention.  He started all of this by giving me detailed directions to where he lives, which is why I asked him out in the first place.  I just thought it was very odd to tell a stranger where you live for no good reason, unless you want someone to come jump your bones.  I really thought there was genuine interest and I got my hopes up, I was so bubbly even Gator could tell.  I told myself I wouldn’t but I believe I read too much into the situation.  Now maybe he will call/text but I think I have a better chance of winning the lottery and hey I didn’t even buy a ticket.  It would be great if he did reach out but as much as I don’t want to I think it’s time to stop hoping and move on.  I don’t want to go back on the apps because that seems like a waste of money and time.  I’m not into the bar.  Now that I am truly all alone I want this to be the year when I meet a man.  It’s a goal and I’m just not quite sure how to make it happen.  I don’t want to get my heart broken, go through rejection or play games.  I’m very serious but it seems like since I am into younger guys that is part of the deal.  Everyone tells me I am not old but in the gay community my age for sure is working against me.  However I had two different people today tell me that I looked between 35 and 41 so maybe it’s not as much of a factor as I think it is.  My weight isn’t doing me any favors either but I think with clothes on I kind of hide/mask it pretty well.  Take the clothes off and even I don’t like what I see in the mirror and know that there is some serious work that needs to be done.  Pass me the cheesecake!

It seems like 2 impossible tasks are finding a man and adopting a couple cats.  I feel like my life had been in a holding pattern and now there is nothing holding me back, I’m free and want to get out there.  Yeah I could have met someone years ago when I had one or even more of the cats but between work and them that was my priority.  I tried but didn’t have much success.  I’m pretty picky and hey if your looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you have the right to be picky and if your not well then maybe something is wrong.

Okay I think that’s enough of my woes for now.  Once again here’s to hoping that this is a better year for me and also for you.  Everyone can use some joy and I’m in search of mine in the form of a man. 

Once again, Happy New Year!  Cheers.  

Trouble on the last day

Hello & Welcome!

I went to bed late, was up a couple of times and eventually woke up around 6a. That’s my internal body alarm clock that gets me up early since that is my usual schedule although it’s about an hour early. I watched some YouTube videos, watched some porn and realized that time was still ticking. I turned the TV off and got out of bed. I took a look in the mirror (yep, it’s still me) and made sure I was presentable. Grabbed a glass from the kitchen and returned to the bathroom to gulp down my pills with some water. Got dressed and headed to breakfast.

The hot waiter I asked out was working but our paths never crossed, which is okay. I was doing pretty good looking forward to my breakfast. Ate, paid and left. Then opted to drive to the local business where I hung out when Gator passed. I like those folks but the closer I got to the place something internally told me not to stop. I was in my head about how they would think I was a pest and I could wear out my welcome. I drove by, turned around and then headed towards home.

Got the car washed, it’s not a perfect wash job but it got all of the winter ick/crap off of it which was my main concern. Then over to the post office to pick up the last of the mail for the year. Some medicine and I think I got a junk letter, don’t actually remember and it’s all on the kitchen table. Then over to the home improvement store to finally get a replacement thermostat. I looked and went with a more expensive model just because it offered 7-day programming. Not that I use programming but it’s handy to have, especially if I would get in the going back to the office routine.

Came home uninstalled the old unit. Hooked up the new unit. Then tested the fan. It worked. Test the AC and it worked. The thermostat was reading high so I just turned it off. I settled in for a short hour’s nap. Then got up and that’s when the trouble began. I tested the heat and nothing. I tried a couple fixes on my own but nothing. There was one of those if you have problems sheets, call this # and don’t return the product to the store.

I called and chatted with a polite guy who had an accent but I had to navigate through an IVR menu before I got to him. He had me doing all sorts of things. Finally, he asked me if I had a volt meter. I said no when the answer was yes. He said we really need it. I said OKAY I think I have one but I have to do some digging. I managed to find it and had it in hand. I said what setting do you want me to put it on. He said oh it sounds like you have something old fashioned. I need to take a look at it. I knew what to do but I wanted him to tell me. He asked for my cell phone # and then I had a link to click on so he could access my camera (with my permission) and he saw it. He said turn it to the V setting. You can close your camera we don’t need your phone anymore. Okay now he started having me take measurements of voltage readings. I had to put the phone down but got the volt meter readings, he liked the first couple. Finally, he had me test the AC line and he said I found your problem. I have a short in the circuit and need an electrician. Well, my electrician (my late spouse) died on me so I have no electrician. He said the thermostat works fine and it’s not defective. Since it detects a high voltage reading it won’t turn on the Heat, there is protection in place to prevent that from happening. I asked why would the old one work and not the new one. He said the old one didn’t have the “protection” built in and wasn’t new & modern. He said call a contractor and they can get you some heat. FUCK – FUCK – FUCK not what I wanted to hear but kind of what I expected there was a problem in the house. Big surprise.

The reason why I wanted to replace the thermostat is because the furnace cycles on, then occasionally will cycle off then start right back up. It’s not an all the time problem but it does happen. I figured that can’t be good so might as well get a different thermostat and that will fix the problem. The guy I spoke with used that reason and the voltage reading I gave him from the AC to make his case.

What to do? If you guessed that I hooked the old thermostat up, boxed up the new one and took it back for a refund then your right. I should have never messed with something that was working, even though it wasn’t working correctly all the time. I know I need a new furnace & ac but have been putting it off for several years. As long as what I have keeps on working and isn’t requiring service then I am apt to keep what I have. I’d like to call someone to have them check out the “high voltage” issue but I suspect that it’s not a real problem and kind of how the old system I have was designed. I had an after thought of why did the AC work since that is what had the high voltage and not the furnace and what if I just disconnected the AC wire, would the furnace have kicked on then? I mean I could do the on/off method with the wires once per season it’s not that bad but not only should I not have to do that step but what if it wouldn’t work, then I would be stuck right where I am now with the old thermostat.

I liked the new unit; it was much smaller and w/o the instruction book to decipher the codes you had no idea what you were setting and what it meant. That plus the fact the furnace wouldn’t kick on were the only to draw backs. However, this wasn’t a cheap purchase and if it wasn’t going to work then I had to get my money back. Calling someone and if there is a problem getting them to fix it will cost a bunch of money. I kind of wonder if the mice did some damage.

I got my money back, have heat now with the old unit and all is well. After that I went to look at cats. There is a bonded pair (brother & sister) that are Tuxedo cats (which is what I had previously). They look beautiful and the brother is outgoing but the sister is shy. The kennel which they were housed in smelled horrible and someone needed to change the litter box. They were both quite hungry and chowing down on the dry food. I’m not sure which one but I was able to pet one with my finger and got it to smell my finger. It seemed friendly and they were a bit younger than I thought. You could still see the bright pink of their skin on their paw pads. Ah youth & vitality it’s great when you got it, kind of like money. There was no one around to talk to about them. You either go on line to inquire or fill out an application and drop it in a box. It’s kind of a competition as they look for the best possible home. I know what I want and thus far these two would be perfect. They would cause chaos between each other and I am sure keep me hopping. I do think they would be into a few things but they would love all of the cat furniture I’ve acquired. I didn’t fill anything out or inquire. That’s how the last 2 got away from me because I didn’t move fast enough. I am starting to kind of enjoy my freedom but at the same time I still miss having a cat. I kind of want a boat anchor which is what they turn into. They keep you anchored to your house and if you want to travel you have to find someone to care for them or board them. It’s all a money grab and honestly that’s what is keeping me from moving forward. I don’t exactly have a trip booked but if I stay cat free, I can see me booking a cruise. Nothing terribly long just a couple days but I know that once I am away, I won’t want to leave so a couple days won’t be long enough. You know we always seem to want what we don’t have.

The crater of a hole that Gator left in my heart is starting to close. I used those words not only because they rhyme but they are 100% accurate. It feels like my heart had a hole in it that would not heal and the pain was horrible. There is still a hole but the initial shock has worn off, the getting used to the loss is happening and I am moving through this despite thinking that I wouldn’t or couldn’t. I know that when I get knocked down, I always get back up and there is a fight in me that just won’t permit me to give up. It’s not who I am but it’s who I have become. Who I am wants to check out because he’s tired of the pain, the loss and all of the bullshit that life seems to hand out on a daily basis in one form or another. I get that life can’t be all roses and sunshine but damn, I’d love for the black cloud to move on and stop hanging over my head. I deserve to be happy; I deserve a boyfriend and a cat or two. I’ll go so far as to say I feel entitled (despite the fact that I am not). With all of the shit I’ve been through I still can’t get over the fact that I think life owes me bigtime. Until I strike gold or get happiness, I will always feel that way. I know it’s not true, life owes no one nothing. Life is what you make of it. However, I seem to go from crisis to crisis and problem to problem. If things would calm down and some sun could peek in and things level out enough, I think that I might be able to be content for the time being. I am unhappy beyond what I can put into words, it’s primarily the hurt & depression that are keeping me down. I want to fly (metaphorically speaking – not like drug flying high) and just be happy.

Perhaps 2023 will turn out to be the best year ever. I’ve got no idea because it’s still hours away but it’s my hope that life gets better in 2023 for me and for so many other people. I know I am not the only person that has the black cloud syndrome of bad luck and I know that there are others who have it worse than me. The idea of world peace and everyone living in harmony sounds great, I don’t know that will ever happen here on earth. I kind of really want to go back and ask Adam & Eve why the fuck did you eat the apple – you fucked us all. Then again if they didn’t eat the apple would we even be here? Way too deep of a question for me to ponder.

I made it back home just in time to work on my end of year folks leaving and all of the people who are getting promoted tomorrow, well they were promoted tonight because I am lazy. I still need to login to send 1 email about a problem that I don’t know how to fix but otherwise my work is done. However, that almost didn’t happen. I had the power off when I was changing the thermostat and it drained my UPS. It went into a loop where it didn’t want to charge and it sounded like I wasn’t going to be able to work. Kind of like everything else that breaks, I turned it off and then back on – magic it’s back to working. The battery is charging and I was able to have my computer back. I’m still thinking of getting a replacement because the unit is about 3 to 4 years old and that is usually when the batteries start to go. Technology changes so I personally find that it’s easier to just opt for a newer unit with a fresh battery vs replacing the old batteries. There doesn’t seem to be that much cost difference from what I have uncovered in years past. That’s why when my other 2 smaller units went out this year, I just replaced them. I’ve got 2 smaller units left and this 1 large unit for my desktop that should all be replaced. They seem to die at the most inconvenient time, which is why having one on standby isn’t such a bad idea. I’m keeping an eye on it and if it doesn’t charge fully back up or I have any more issues I will for sure just give up and order a new one. Better safe than sorry. I like dual screens and a full-size keyboard vs sitting in front of a laptop, even if it’s a laptop with a larger screen.

My plans now are to surf for some porn after I publish this. Then head up, maybe shower tonight or possibly in the morning. Grab breakfast out as per usual for a Sunday. I know it will be a limited menu but I am sure I can find something that I like. Then wait it out for the grocery store to open and do my regular shopping. Then eventually make my way to my friends “open house”. Despite not wanting to I know my body will have me up at an early hour but drugs can change that. It kind of depends on what I take to fall asleep. If it wasn’t for my friends expecting to see me tomorrow, I would just take a muscle relaxer because the knots in my back are driving me nuts and they hurt. However, that would render me useless all day. I kind of don’t want to waste an entire day just laying around but it would probably do a world of good for me.

I really don’t want to be awake when the fireworks and gunshots start – I’d just as soon sleep through all of it. A new year will be here when I wake up tomorrow, I don’t need to stay up and watch the clock change. I’ve done that before and maybe if I had someone to spend the evening with, I would do that. However, being alone I just want to sleep.

Best wishes for a Happy New Year for everyone! May all of your dreams and desires come true in 2023 and the odds be ever in your favor! Cheers for now.

Days 2 & 3

Spent day # 2 in my room for most of the day watching TV.  I did leave to make a Wendy’s run.  Their chili is so good but the batch I got tasted like it was missing something.  The burger was spot on, even if I did order a triple when it should have been a double.  Listened to some music before bed.  Thinking about a particular song I only know a few lines and can’t find it.  I thought for sure it was in my iTunes library but just checked and nothing stands out.  I hate quests like this because they drive me crazy. 

Day #3 started off early, my body thought it was back to work but my mind knew otherwise.  I got up and fed Gator, then she joined me and we watched TV.  There was no going back to sleep but I did manage to nod off for a short time.  Eventually around 9a I got up and went out for breakfast.  The Cracker Barrel app said that my local store had no wait.  I got there and of course the one time I didn’t do a mobile check in, there was a wait.  Saw a couple hotties, which made the wait worth while.  Most of the food was okay but the Hashbrown Casserole was served cold.  I didn’t bother to complain because lately the casserole has gone down hill. 

I hit up the grocery store after having breakfast.  My stomach was a bit queasy but I made it through the grocery store with no problem.  I figured with it being a Monday the shelves would be stocked and it would be a light crowd.  The crowd wasn’t light and the shelves were bare, especially in the prepared food isles.  They had very little and nothing that was of interest to me.  It’s going to be a long week because I don’t have a lot of things to snack on but managed to get out of the store with a few items for me, a little bit of cat food for Gator and spent $54.  Not terrible. 

It’s really cold out, like now is when I wish I had put up the plastic on the windows and yeah I could have done that today but not what I wanted to spend my time on.  I spent it with my girl, she ate some food in my room, she napped in my lap and I managed to find a couple of movies. 

Were presently in the middle of a movie, I paused it to hit up Olive Garden.  That was a mistake.  Service was lacking, all of my food came out at once.  I left stuffed but not feeling the greatest about my dining experience.  Then the drive home and here we are.  I had to do some work but now that is done I have the rest of the evening to myself. 

I need to shave, seriously my face is itching and it’s driving me crazy.  Once I start scratching it never ends, there is just no way to get ahead of the itch.  Matters not how much I wash my face, it’s fur and that just doesn’t sit well on my face.  If I could ever get past the itching stage I would grow a beard but I don’t think that is ever going to happen. 

I am headed back up to be with my girl and finish up our movie.  Hopefully, we can find one or two more to tide us until bed time.  I really don’t look forward to tomorrow because it’s full steam ahead back to work.  My boss was supposed to be on vacation but he is coming back and I am not pleased about that.  I like it more when he is away because he always adds in bullshit like meetings we don’t need or stupid tasks that no one really needs to do.  I have continually thought about changing jobs but for many reasons I don’t think that is a good idea.  If I can’t get over my sour attitude and work continues to be more of a burden than it normally is, I will give more consideration to it.  Right now I think it’s all about me being in a mood and the holidays.  Not to mention the looming mandatory back in the office days that are coming later this month.  COVID is out of control here and most of the states where we have offices.  I am hopeful our leadership will dial things back but part of me feels like they are hell bent on getting back to normal regardless if there still is a pandemic or not.  I think this has more to do with people revolting and wanting to work from home more rather than less.  At least my boss, despite his faults really wants to minimize everyone’s time in the office and he really only wants me in 1 day a week, which isn’t much but at the same time feels like a huge ask.   

For now I am still on my time so I am going to focus on me and my little furry girl.  I can’t stop thinking about how our time is limited together so I want to spend as much time with her as I can.  She is just getting old but like her mother, she is built tough and is still going strong.  She knows how to push my buttons and I know how to push hers.  Were great for each other.  Kind of wish there was another human here, at least sometimes but I have to be content with what I have.

Hope your year is going well and that you are staying warm.  Talk with you all again soon!  Hoping that happiness finds me sooner rather than later and that this can be a good year, once this COVID stuff is under better control.  Stay safe!

Day 1 of 365

I managed to stay up past midnight but didn’t watch any NYE events.  I took in the next season of Cobra Kai on Netflix.  I finished all of it in 1 night.  I started in the afternoon because it was a slow work day.  I went to bed probably somewhere around 1a.  Gator wasn’t terribly happy but that didn’t stop her from waking me up multiple times and then insisting that I get up at 7a because that is my normal time during the week.  Needless to say I didn’t have a restful nights sleep.

This morning I watched Being the Ricardo’s on Amazon Prime.  It was really interesting.  I am a huge Lucille Ball fan and have watched all of the I Love Lucy episodes.  They were really great TV.  After that was done I started watching The secret life on a cruise ship.  I eventually paused it and fell back asleep but that was well in the afternoon. 

When I woke, I got a shower and then dressed and headed off for cat food.  There weren’t many people out at all, it wasn’t like Christmas Day but you could tell that many people were at home, probably nursing a hang over.  After I got the cat food I felt my sugar dropping so I headed for food for me.  I hit up a new Mexican place and it was anything but great.  Service wasn’t the greatest, the food could have been better and they charged a surcharge for using a credit card.  Needless to say I won’t be back.  I felt my stomach grumbling as I returned to the car.  Not sure if it was what I just ate or the TV dinner from the night before.  I started walking in the door and my body some how knew where I was and signaled for the release.  I had a minor mess to clean up. 

After that fiasco was cleaned up, I took care of getting my Gator some food.  Then put the rest of her newly purchased food away.  The shelfs at cat food store are starting to show a little more stock but not by much.  I then took care of her litter boxes and then went back out for the mail.  Once home I sifted through what I got, which was nothing but bills and a Christmas card from a new realtor.  Back to the basement and then I did some playing on my own and finally got the dreaded jobs at work done.  It took me about an hour to do the work, including my stupid report.  What I took care of are the changes we new about.  There is always a second round but that doesn’t get published until we return and I expect it will be out this next week. 

As I type this I don’t exactly feel energetic.  I am headed up to grab a Gator Aid (the drink, not my cat) and see what I can find to watch.  I suspect that bedtime tonight will come much earlier than it did last night.  I plan to take care of my normal Sunday stuff unless I feel crappy.  Were supposed to have some snow and much colder weather to deal with in the morning, so who knows that might be a deterrent. 

I hope that your first day of the new year was great.  I will talk with you all again soon.  Happy New Year once again!

Famous Last Words

What a year it has been.  We’re about to enter year 3 of COVID and this is something that I thought would be a couple months long.  I sure hope that this time next year we have better news when it comes to COVID. 

It’s been another year of HIGHS and LOWS.  In some ways it seems like this year went by reasonably fast and in other ways it seems like it took forever to get to this point. 

The weather has been crazy with unseasonable high temperatures for December and even an outbreak of tornados earlier in the month.  We lost a lot of good people this year as we do every year. 

Here’s hoping that 2022 will get us to the point of peace on earth.  I hope it’s a year that brings me more good news than bad and that my Gator is still by myside this time next year. 

Now I shuffle off to work (from home) to take care of end of year business.  I will be working a bit tomorrow to take care of first of year business.  My friends have invited me over for an open house they are having.  Allegedly everyone is vaccinated but I don’t want to go and it’s got nothing to do with the virus.  In many ways it will be just another Saturday for me.  I plan on business as usual. 

I don’t think that I will make it past midnight but may well surprise myself.  One thing is for sure that tomorrow will be here if I wake to see it.  New Year’s like Christmas has lost it’s luster with me being alone.  I just hope that things turn around soon.

May the New Year bring you many blessings and good times.  Here’s hoping for the best for everyone in 2022!

364.24 days to go

Happy New Year! I didn’t manage to stay awake to ring in the new year or play America’s favorite past time game. What game? Is it gun shots or fireworks? I turned on my air purifier and fired up the white noise. Then fell into a slumber. Unfortunately, I was up several times during the night. The good news is that I was able to fall back asleep.

When I finally woke up around 9 or 10, I decided to make Cinnamon Rolls. I accidentally managed to keep two of them together so it made one large roll. It was good. I left them in the oven a bit long so the bottoms burnt, but the rest of them were good. I ate 3 (the large 2 in 1 and then 1 regular). I started watching Season 3 of Cobra Kai on Netflix. About an hour later I could feel the sugar wearing off. I grabbed a Diet Mt. Dew and consumed that, which bought me a little bit of time. I kept watching, it was really interesting. I like how they mixed parts of the original Karate Kid movie into the series. That took me back to when I too was a much younger man. Eventually I went back to bed and took a brief nap with my side kick in tow.

Once I woke up, we finished the series which turned out to be pretty good. I’m ready for Season 4 but who knows when that will be out.

I got the trash ready and pushed it out to the curb. Then came in and started my fun process of promoting people and running my silly report for work. That took a little bit of time and my sidekick has been meowing ever since I was down here. I stopped to feed her but that only bought me a few minutes of silence and then she was right back at it again. Eventually I ignored her and she quieted down. I finished up at work and opted to take a break. I went up to figure out what was for supper.

I had a Bacon, Ranch and Chicken bowl from Stouffers. I managed to get a steam burn on my thumb when I pulled it out of the oven. I don’t like burns at all but steam burns can be wicked. It’s calmed down but my thumb is inflamed and red. I took a break and watched some more of The Middle and my side kick managed to fall into a deep sleep. I turned the TV off and told her that I was headed back downstairs and she perked up, followed me downstairs like she was going to miss a train or a bus. Then proceeded to nag me to go back upstairs. I finally had enough and picked her up, which resulted in her scratching my arm as she flailed to get loose. I put her on the steps and then closed the door. Man, she turned on the tears then I finally had to go open the door and she has settled down.

I’ve come to the conclusion, which you probably arrived at long ago. I’m letting her walk all over me and she is taking full advantage of the situation. I don’t mind the endless amount of food but the constant meowing when I have to come downstairs is a bit much. She is the reason why I sit upstairs during the week hunched over a laptop. I’m much more comfortable and can work quicker & more efficiently if I am in front of my desktop, but her royal pain in the ass doesn’t want that. God forbid that I should be comfortable in my own home. I give her some leniency because she is the last one, she could still be grieving the loss of her brother. However, I need time for myself and time away from her in my own element (basement) is enjoyable. I want to ring her neck but she takes me to my boiling point quickly. I know someday I will miss her and long for that meow. Right now, though I long for some peace & quiet. I spend the bulk of the day with her, which probably explains why she so easily gets on my nerves.

My favorite part of the New Year is putting up my new male calendars. Nothing says Happy New Year like a sexy naked man. Now if I could just have one of those in my life that would be nice.

I have yet to pay bills which is my next task once I am done with this post. It’s not like me to delay that task I am on top of it but a couple days won’t hurt anything. Besides that, the money isn’t actually going anywhere until Monday morning.

How’s the weather in your neck of the woods? I’m in the middle of an ice storm today and I think snow will be moving in tomorrow. Crazy thing is I have to get out tomorrow to grab the mail and get cat food. I want to go for pizza again. They have a contest going where they passed out envelopes the month of December. You bring them back anytime in January and you get whatever prize is inside but the catch is the envelope has to be sealed. I’m not a lucky person but I would like the top prize which is $100 store credit. That will buy me a few pizzas. The weather will dictate if I travel for pizza. Otherwise, I will find something local, time for a change of pace.

All things considered the first day of 2021 hasn’t been too bad. Let’s hope that the days ahead bring lots of pleasure, laughter, orgasms, food and weight loss. Hopefully, this time next year my noisy side kick will still be with me and I will have expanded my friend list and maybe found a boyfriend to add to the list. I’m not holding my breath but at the same time I am not ruling anything out.

I hope that all is well for you and that your first day of the year has been enjoyable. Now on to paying bills or as I call it giving my money away. Then maybe surfing for some porn before I call it a night and head back up to be with the furry sidekick. I know that time can’t come fast enough for her. Once again, Happy New Year!

Not a good week

From a work perspective it hasn’t been a good week.  Lots of overtime which will look very nice on my check.  Thus far I am up to 10 hours.  There were last minute moves that had to take place after hours.  Plus a few other issues that came up.  Friday started off the evening with a bunch of alerts that just nag us.  I was told to stop and restart a service, but no one knew the name of the service, so that task didn’t get done.  The alerts continued throughout the day on Saturday and I finally had enough.  I decided to start rebooting servers.  I knew it wouldn’t sit well, which is why I didn’t ask permission first.  I just did it.  I was asked afterwards to ask for permission.  No one would have known what I did if it wasn’t for the informational email I sent.

From a sexual standpoint it’s been a great week.  No I didn’t get lucky or meet someone.  However, I did get confirmation that two guys I thought were gay are in fact gay.  So my Gaydar is getting better.  One of these guys works in a different office.  Figured out with the help of social media that he’s 25 and yes, gay.  However, he has a boyfriend.  I don’t want to out anyone, because that is just not a proper thing to do.  So the other guy is in the same age range and has some fame to him.  He posted a video saying his boyfriend was in town and that is how I solved the mystery.  I’m just a regular Sherlock Holmes. 

Continuing with the sexual theme.  I also have a particular sexual kink fetish.  Something I admire from a far but it’s never been done to me.  I’d like to experience it before I die.  Anyway, my late partner was in the dream and it was happening.  I was so fucking happy and then the alarm clock went off.  That quickly killed that mood but I thought about the dream all day long and manage to arouse myself over and over. 

On to the home standpoint.  I was able with some help from tech support to resolve an issue with a particular program that was causing me issues.  That made me very happy because I had been struggling with this over the holiday weekend and I was baffled that I wasn’t able to solve it.  Turns out they had a hotfix for it.  Run a batch file, reboot and then your all set.  I kept the file just in case the issue comes back.  Kids are all doing okay, other than momma who’s stomach was giving her problems so she went to the bathroom in my office, then walked out the door and threw up.  Poor girl.  She was embarrassed but hey were family, I understand.  I suspected it was because I was being generous by skipping her medicine.  So I passed out medicine and then a snack.  That perked them all right up.  I didn’t get a good nights sleep last night but wasn’t terribly worried about it because I had the option of taking a nap today.  Only problem with that is I was on-call and as per usual my phone knew when I was just about to nod off and it would go off.  I tried twice to doze off but no luck.  Here’s hoping I crash tonight.  I bought me some O’Keeffe’s Working Hands Hand Cream.  It came with a bonus lip moisturizer.  Something that both me and my late partner always wanted to try.  Well I have only applied it twice and it seems to be working.  Winter has just killed my hands and I’m not a glove person so that doesn’t help.  I got my winnings today, it turns out it was 5 flight gift cards for $100 each.  I have them listed on-line for sale already.  I’m taking a $50 hit but once they sell it will be money I didn’t have in the first place.  The gas card is for a local brand station, so I stopped there on the way back from the bank and filled up Mr. Thirsty.  Boy does he drink, I think he’s got a problem, but if I sent him to a meeting that would only make him drink more. 

I was placed in an odd position this week.  I stopped on Wednesday to fill up the tank and notice there was a car sitting by the opposite pump.  The engine wasn’t running and there were two people inside.  They were trying to stay warm.  It was bone chilling dangerously cold outside.  We weren’t in the best neighborhood so I thought for sure it was a drug deal going down.  I filled my tank and minded my own business.  I was done and about to get back in my vehicle and the window from the passenger side rolled down, a man said can you help us with some gas?  I said your out of gas?  Yep.  Okay sure I said without any hesitation.  WTF was going through my head.  The guy opened the door and got out and that’s when I figured I was going to get robbed, see a gun or something bad was going to happen.  He was thankful and polite.  I gave them a small amount of gas.  This was an older car so I knew it had a very large tank, which would have done some serious damage to my wallet.  I told him when I was done, he thanked me again and I went about my way.  I saw him running around and headed inside the gas station.  That is the point where I wondered if I had just been conned.  I hope he was going in to use the bathroom.  You know me and my luck if I try to help someone I usually have some negative repercussion.  Not this time, thank God.  I don’t know that I will be stopping there for gas again anytime soon. 

Now on to the weather, as I said it’s been cold in the negative digits.  Kind of makes me want to fly to a place that is warmer but I’d miss my kids.  Were in for freezing rain tomorrow afternoon.  It starts at 2 and ends around 5 by which time the sun will be down.  No worries for me, all of my running will be done in the morning.  However, it could be a day home for me on Monday.  I saw a bunch of car pile up videos with a co-worker and it was nuts.  That made me a little more aware and cautious.  Our office probably won’t close and I suspect the roads will all be in decent shape, since the road crews will have the evening to plow, treat and make things better.  If things happen like they are predicted then I’ll make a judgement call.  Our old office manager used to reward the few people that would make it in with free lunch, that sounds good as well. 

Today I watched the documentary about the Branch Davidian and David Koresh.  Wow that was a colossal fuck up.  Since law enforcement lost the element of surprise they should have rescheduled their raid but that didn’t happen.  There are conspiracy theory's that it was law enforcement who started the fire as revenge.  I don’t believe that but I can tell you that you shouldn’t fuck with law enforcement in anyway, shape or form.  They always win because there is strength in numbers.  David Koresh did an amazing brain washing of so many people.  My personal opinion is that he had a mental problem.  The whole thing was a very unfortunate event and it could have ended on a more positive note without the loss of life for so many people.  I can’t imagine being burned alive, that has to be fucking horrible beyond comprehension.  Hopefully, nothing like this will happen again in my lifetime.  It’s hard to believe that was 25 years ago.  I remember that’s all you heard about on TV for days and like everyone else I wanted to know the latest.  I didn’t figure it would end well but I also didn’t think there would be a mass fire. 

So that’s the 1st week of January, oh I forgot to mention this week there was a full moon.  When I saw that I knew I was fucked from the get go.  All of the bizarre bat shit crazy stuff always happens when there is a full moon.  Now I am making my way upstairs, taking some sleeping pills, watching some TV with the kids and going to bed while my phone & body recharge.  Hip Hip Hooray!  Tomorrow is another day. 

I hope you all managed to stay warm and that your doing well.  Talk with you peeps again soon.  Be well.     

First day of work

Traffic was back to normal, slow to get to work but thanks to the cushion I have allowed, I made it in early.  Hopefully the commute home won’t be that bad, but I’ll know soon enough. 

This morning work was just crazy busy, like everything was happening at once.  I made it through all of that and now that things have quieted down I am ready for a nap.  It was a struggle to get out of bed this morning but I made it.  The days to come will no doubt be equally as difficult but it’s one of those necessary evils that I have to contend with. 

Ruth is pretty well back to her normal self.  Acting fine, being bossy to her siblings and trying to hog the food.  She has let me pet her and I think things are no worse for the wear.  She is more aware of her surroundings and a little afraid to let her guard down.  I suspect the fact that I am not home right now helps and she is probably relaxing having a great old time. 

Lunch time is about to happen.  I was scheduled for a meeting but it was cancelled so I can take my lunch leisurely.  Helps that my boss is off, but I still have Ms. Prissy to contend with.  There is a meeting that she will be on and running a bit later this afternoon.  Outside of that unless something breaks, it should all be really quiet for me. 

Spent last night listening to some old tunes from my younger days.  Jefferson Starship or Starship as they are known as well as April Wine and Firefall.  Nice to hear those tunes and to just relax.  I have wanted to catch up on porn but I just keep putting it off.  Not sure why, I mean everyone collects something.  For me it’s porn so you’d think I would be all into it, but nah listening to music sounded much better to me. 

Before it got to be too late, I went upstairs and put Bear on the couch with me.  I had some ice cream and we watched TV for about an hour.  An ambulance came to one of my neighbors houses.  Not sure what all of the fuss was about, I stayed put with Bear on my lap.  I really enjoy flashing lights but don’t like to see them behind me or in my neighborhood. 

Thought a lot about my friend that is passing away, said some prayers and before you know it I was in dreamland.  Marvin stayed with me for a short time and then he had to leave.  Not sure what that was all about but sleeping by myself is enjoyable.

Got a nibble on one of the dating apps.  Were just exchanging the basic hello part now.  Not sure that it’s going to go anywhere but one never knows. 

Time to wash my paws, break out my food and devour.  I saved some BBQ and Mac & Cheese from last night so I will be able to eat good again tonight.  Weather will be turning colder so I’m thinking Chicken Pot Pie for supper on Wednesday.  Never hurts to plan ahead.  Have to stop and see what is in the mail tonight.  Plans for relaxation on the couch again with Bear. 

Still waiting to get a call from the dealer.  I don’t think that will happen today and I get it they are probably busy.  If I don’t hear from them, I will likely check in tomorrow.  Bring on the food now! 

Take care, happy Monday on a Tuesday.  Be Safe & Stay Warm!  Talk with you again soon.

So Long 2015…Hello 2016

I honestly put way too much thought into this post.  I was trying to think back on the major events of 2015.  The biggest 2 that stand out in my mind are the Bankruptcy going away and putting a roof on the house.  Those are both acomplishments.  The most negative event of 2015 was back in May when I lost Taz (LB).  FB showed me posts from 12/31 and the first one that showed up was from 2014 it was a photo of Taz passed out on the coffee table.  I remember that photo like it was yesterday.  I really miss that little guy.  I sure hope he is having fun with Blu and my late partner. 

I was able to stay up this year and ring in the New Year.  I didn’t do anything special.  I watch re-runs of shows via the A&E app.  Then called it a night after midnight, went to bed and got up early this morning around 9:30a.  I watched The Price Is Right and then headed to the Rehab Center (nursing home) to see my mom.  The place where she is at smells and looks like a nursing home.  They have a broken alarm in her wing so it sounds like someone is in need of help all of the time, there is no silence.  I couldn’t sleep in a place like that.  I am kind of sad to see her in that place.  She didn’t have a key to the house and once she realized that she started crying.  I started talking about a spare key and then she remembered that she gave a neighbor a spare key.  So she called and made arrangements for me to get the key.

Today felt a lot like I buried my family.  I was so sad, I wanted to cry but didn’t.  The water is turned off but the gas & electric are still on.  All of the good stuff is gone.  I got most of the stuff my mom wanted and then I took a lot of stuff just for me.  Good thing I brougt the truck because it was full when I left.  The basement has water in it and the house smells mildrew and mold.  No one would want to inhabit that place.  It was difficult for me to be there the few hours that I was.  I had plans to see a movie and grab a bite to eat but changed them once I saw that I had a mountain to deal with. 

I did a quick walk through.  The place was freezing because there isn’t any heat turned on.  The thermostat said it was 60 degrees.  I fired up the furnace since the lights worked and it was warming up but never quite got to 70.  My brother is going to shit when he gets the bill for that.  Not to mention the electric that I used as well.  I found a charger and decided it was best to charge up my phone.  The bad thing about that is I almost left the phone behind.

So the kitchen was first on my list.  I looked for old glasses that I remember from growing up and was able to snag a few of them.  Then there was a bottle opener, a small tape measure and general junk stuff.  My brother had put both of the dressers in the kitchen, so I went through them.  The one we used as kids was full of CD’s.  Mom has amazing taste in music for the most part.  There were tons of CD’s that were not even out of the wrapper.  Some old stuff and some new stuff.  I just took what I liked and some of it was taken just to piss my brother off.  Then I saw what used to be grandpa’s dresser which was passed down to my brother.  So I rummaged through that.  There was a lot of momentos of grandpa, I am sure he wanted to keep them but I took them as well.  One of which was his dog tags from WWII, we have the same name but our middle names are different.  The Army didn’t print middle names or initals on dog tags so they kind of look like they are mine, except the ssn # doesn’t match up.  The best find was a $25 gift card an Aunt gave to my mom for Christmas 2 years ago for Applebee’s.  I checked and it’s still valid so I took it.  Moving on to the living room there were coats that my mom wanted, got both of them.  Then I saw some old hangers from when grandpa used to work at a major dept. store that has long since gone out of business, they were actually purchased by what is Dillard’s today.  I took the hangers because they are unique.  This will sound really strange but the ceiling fan in the living room had pull chains with weights on them, I took them as I knew they would be able to add pleasure to an existing adult toy I have.  I was right, it feels more awesome now.  I grabbed a couple blankets that were crocheted.  There is a large curio cabinet that has been emptied out but I really would like it.  I think it would look great in my living room once I got the mountain of dust off of it.  It looks heavy so I passed on it.  Next up was mom’s room.  Man there was so much stuff in there.  Most of which was photos of us as kids.  I wanted all of my photos for nastolga sake.  While the photos were probably equal it seemed to me that she had more more of my brother than me.  I really wanted my baby book, it was something that my grandma put together and she never wanted mom to have it.  So I saw this as the perfect time to take it back but it was no where to be found.  I am guessing my brother has it or so I hope.  Anyway, plenty of photos and it all took a lot more time to go through than I anticipated.  I found the US Flag my mom was given when Grandpa passed away.  It’s in a plastic wrapper from the funeral home that has since cracked.  I need to purchase a display case for it in order to preserve it.  Kind of a unique momento to have.  There were some photos of my mom and her parents that I hung on to as well.  There was a full length woodem mirror that I got.  The dogs damaged part of it but still it looks great for the most part.  My brothers room was up next and it was pretty well vacant.  I nosed around in what was there and took a wooden chair, it’s nothing much to look at, but there are memories tied to it.  Then I hit up the bathroom and took the bath rug and the rug that fits around the toilet.  There really wasn’t anything else in there that I wanted.  Moving on to the hall closet which was cleaned out.  There was a large box of photos in there that I was hoping to get but didn’t.  Then was on to what used to be my room.  I looked around but there wasn’t anything in there that was worth my time.  My moms reading machine is in there and she said that she may need me to pick it up but for now she was relying on my brother for that.  Then it was time to grab everything, load up the truck and get out of that place.  I think I remembered to turn off all of the lights.  The heat is off for sure.  I thought about leaving it on but figured that would spark one hell of a war between me and my brother.  I think as it is he will be upset that I was there without him and that I got anything from the place at all.  I have forgotten a couple things so I am going back probably tomorrow. 

The strange part of it all was being in the house all by myself.  No dogs, no people – just deafing silence.  Memories came flooding back like a river – some good, some bad but mostly the fact that what was my childhood home will soon be no more.  I came across the mortgage papers that my mom signed to put the place in hock.  Despite the fact that it’s old, probably chocked full of mold and is in need of some serious repairs, I would have rather that she sold the place than to just give it back to a bank.  I can hear grandpa now rollong over in his grave.  He gave it to her debt free and like everything that she touches she fucked it all up.  My brother could save the place but he doesn’t want to live there, things would be different if there wasn’t a mortgage he and his girl would be living there for certain.  That is the house that not only I grew up in but that I had my first sexual expereince in, the whole thing is just overwhelming to me. 

Once I loaded up I headed for home and I was never so glad to get here.  I needed to wash my hands and bad.  I cut my hand on the plastic case the flag was on, I had to use the bathroom while I was there and wasn’t able to wash my hands afterwards.  Used up all of their TP and there was no more.  So I unloaded the truck and got everything in the garage.  Then came in and got cleaned up.  Then I was physically and emotionally spent.  I had to pass out, so I did.  My plans were to get a bite to eat at Applebee’s but that didn’t work out.  It was 3 when I got home and when I woke up it was 5.  Gator was yapping for food, so I fed the chilren and then worked on turning some frozen items into dinner for me.  Spaghetti & Meatballs with 3 garlic cheese breadsticks.  Then for desert I put away I can’t tell you how many small bite scones and pecan sandie cookies.  Then it was time to get my house cleaned up and get some of that stuff from the garage into the house.  The kids got nervous and Marvin in particular was scared out of his mind.  I guess he thinks I am going to get him but he’s perfectly safe, just overly paranoid.

I’ve got the laundry going, the dishes done and I finally paid my bills.  I never put off paying bills but this time I did because I needed some time to think, I had to give a credit card less money than I wanted to.  However I need money to live.  Surprisingly I pay cash for most everything from food, to gas.  I don’t like to charge it unless there is no other option.  What has gotten me in trouble is monthly subscriptions and then using Amazon – all of that goes on a credit card.  Provided nothing major happens I should be able to dig out from all of this in a few months time.  I could use my savings but then if a rainy day comes along I won’t have an emergency fund to fall back on. 

I look forward to a facial, a nice hot shower and then passing out and starting another day tomroorow.  I’d like to get out of bed early so I can actually see the movie that I have been trying to see for more than 2 months now. 

Last night I made a critical mistake, I browsed TV and came across a Pay Per View event that will take place on 1/2 it’s a UFC Fight that features Carlos Condit, I just wanted to see about it and wound up ordering the damn thing.  I looked for ways to cancel when I didn’t find any I wanted to know how much it was.  Turns out it’s $50 so I picked up the phone and said hello AT&T I need help.  The lady I talked with couldn’t find my order but said that it should come through after midnight so she would monitor my account and get it cancelled.  I certainly hope so because there is no way I am paying $50.  I wouldn’t pay it if he was naked and I wouldn’t pay it if it was porn.  Right now my bill with tv and phone is around $150 which isn’t horrible but it could be better.  My promo expires in a couple weeks and unless I call them and work out a better deal it’s going to jump to $237 which is outrageous.  I have NEVER paid that much for phone and TV.  If we can’t work out a deal then I am going to part ways with them and go back to Cable.  However, I would rather work out a deal and I am even toying with adding a reciver, depending upon what I can work out. 

Oh btw if you are following me and remember Rich & Justin I found out that they split.  Yeah Justin is still in AZ but Rich moved to Chicago.  They are still friends.  Justin has a new BF.  I really liked them both, just never understood why or how they could agree to an open relationship.  All it takes is someone to give you more pleasure when your having sex and then you want to leave.  That is always how those things seem to play out.  I got my information from Instagram of all places.  It was quite a shock for me.

Happy New Year and thanks for reading my blather.  I hope this is a much better year for all of us and hopefully the year that I get a BF of my own and hopefully his ass can cook!!