28 February 2015

Winter – White & Bright

Friday …. even thought it was just yesterday it feels like it was 2 days ago.  I woke up in the middle of the night and watched the first episode of House of Cards, Season 3.  Went back to bed afterwards and slept in a little bit.  When I did climb out of bed, I took care of the children, got dressed and headed out to breakfast.  Then on to the car dealer.  Where I had a coupon for my oil change to be $39.95.  The funny thing is that it never, ever works out to that, because they add in labor it’s usually a $65 job.  However, I had my reward cards so I didn’t care the cost.  I also qualified to get a $10 rebate by mail, it’s like I am collecting rebate cards.  In any case they told me that the other thing that would be recommended is to change the brake fluid.  I didn’t know but learned that brake fluid breaks down and moisture is the enemy.  My fluid was 5 years old.  They told me that they would replace it with a dot 5 formula instead of the dot 4, because it’s got better moisture wicking.  I allowed them to do it.  I am supposed to notice improved response with the pedal, but it all breaks the same to me.  I just looked it up before writing this and dot 5 fluid is not recommended for anti-lock break systems.  I’ve got anti-lock breaks on my car.  This was the dealer I went to  not a shade tree mechanic or a quick lube place.  They said that they had been doing this for a while and it really works.  As long as the breaks work when I want them to and this doesn’t cause any problems I am fine with it.  From the dealer I went to get a hair cut.  I went to a new place ‘just for men’ and I got some super expensive package that gave me a scalp massage, hair cut, shampoo, condoner, neck shave, and neck and shoulder massage.  I never got the neck massage but the shoulder massage was okay, done by a machine not a person. I may switch to this place a regular haircut and shampoo is the same price as the other place, add on a couple dollars more and I can get my neck shaved – that is awesome.  They also do regular shaves as well, which is highly unfound in today’s society because the barber is essentially dead.  However, this place is a barber shopish type place but only women work there.  My late partner always said a women can’t cut a man’s hair, you need a barber.  He went to a barber for many years as did I  but the times changed and I changed with them.  They do an okay job the difference is they charge more now than they did back then.  I remember haircuts for $8 and now they are $21, seriously.  It’s robbery but that is the price I pay because I want my hair to look good, well I mean I need everything even and I know I can do most of it okay but the back , that is next to impossible to do on my own.  Anyway, then it was time to go back home.  I had to start in on more House of Cards.  I managed to squeeze in a nap and then it was time to venture off to therapy.  I took the truck for the 1st time ever to therapy.  It was a nice drive and good to get that bucket of bolts out of the driveway and on the road.  I went to Cracker Barrel after therapy, had a nice meatloaf dinner and peach cobbler for dessert.  Then it was time to get cat food.  I was early and the chances of running into you know who were high.  Sure enough he was in the store and once he saw me he had to go hide.  We didn’t speak to each other.  However, if and when I get the opportunity I plan on letting him know that I understand it’s easier to say I will call you then no, but that he gave me false hope and in the end it would have just been better to tell me the truth.  Even if he did call me now, I have him in a lie and don’t believe that I could trust him.  I made my food purchase and left.  Back home, back to the TV.  Soon it was time to feed the little beggars again.  There faces always light up when I come in with bags, they know when it’s food for them.  They also want it right away and things don’t usually happen that way.  Then I passed the evening with more TV, a little computer time and paying the car insurance.  I checked out about my usual time and retired to my bedroom and started falling asleep during the show.  It’s time to put it on pause and I called it a night.

Saturday… More winter is in the forecast so I got a start on things.  I went to breakfast at Bob Evans and had this Blueberry Brioche French Toast, it was more than delicious.  they only gave me two slices but I could have easily eaten 4 plus the omelet that I ordered.  Then it was on to do more running.  Stopped off at the post office to pick up the junk mail that was waiting for me.  Then it was on to Target to get cat treats and litter.  As well as a couple of items for me, which were mostly dental related.  Then I got gas for the truck.  It was 1/2 full and since there was weather on the way I don’t want to incur a frozen fuel line, if I needed to use the truck I wouldn’t be able to.  Small price to pay for peace of mind.  Then I went on to Sam’s Club.  I was supposed to go to another store to pick up sweat pants and tennis shoes but I gave that up.  It’s just too damn cold.  The two things I went to Sam’s for Chocolate Covered Blueberries and Hand Soap Refill I wasn’t able to find.  I did manage to pick up impulse buys.  The best one of them being Irish Stew.  It was $13 but the best money I spent on food that was simply heat & eat.  You could taste the wine and it was rather a rich gravy.  I started to feel full so I stopped.  There is plenty of meat and potatoes left as well as onions but no so much on carrots.  This was really a great meal for a cold winter day.  Then I came home, switched vehicles and gassed up the car.  Then came home, and put away all of the things I bought.  I’ve been here since around 11am and haven’t left.  It’s been House of Cards for most of the day.  I am ready for the last episode of Season 3 tonight.  Then I will move on to my DVR and catching up on all of the other shows that I recorded from earlier in the week.  I got a nap in today as well.  I am presently washing my bed clothes and will start regular laundry tomorrow.  I plan on taking a nice shower before bed and then watching TV.  It started snowing around 2p just as my iPhone said it would.  It hasn’t let up since and I have a feeling that I might be clearing off the truck to get to the store tomorrow morning.  Time will tell.

Kind of a hum drum weekend thus far.  Things didn’t work out like I wanted them to but I have managed to accomplish a lot and pamper myself with the haircut and food.  So it’s time well spent.  I did manage to check on my work e-mail and I got at least 100 messages of which most was BS.  I did find that there will be local travel in my future, not looking forward to it but it’s far better than being on-call and it will be a day out of the office and away from the phones so what’s not to like, plus a free meal and mileage so it’s like money on top of free money that kind of makes up for the slight inconvenience. 

All of the bills are paid and there is money left over.  I was really stressing about the car insurance but it didn’t break the bank.  My partial tax refund is in so that helped but I haven’t touched it.  The plan is to save it not to spend it.  If all goes well then there will be more on the way soon. 

I’ve got a Kenmore ceiling fan in my bedroom.  I picked it out and paid for it many moons ago after we moved in.  Together me and my late partner installed it.  One of the selling points was the remote control that came with it.  Nice to be able to turn on the lights or the fan with just a touch of a button.  Over the years the remote has become worn and the lights now are really difficult to turn on, so much so that I have revered to the manual method.  I looked on-line and Sears no longer makes the fan or parts for it.  I found a discussion group where someone had similar problems and a universal replacement remote was recommended.  There is/was no word on if it worked.  So I thought I would take my chances at a local hardware store first.  Turns out they don’t sell replacement remotes.  They have kits to convert your fan into a remote controlled fan, which I don’t want.  So I looked and sure enough the same remote Sears is selling for $51 I got from Amazon for $37, plus free shipping.  It should be here on Monday, unless the weather screws that up.  I really hope this works and is the answer to my problems.  If not then I will have to go with a plan B and order a remote controlled socket to hook up to the lamp next to my bed.  It was nice to push a button and then walk into my room.  Now I have to walk in not knowing if I am going to step in anything or on a cat.  I make enough noise so they know I am coming and the only one usually in my room is Marv and he is in the chair or on the bed.  He loves my room and spends the bulk of his day there. 

I heard from my cat sitter friend just checking in to see if I am alive.  He did it by text.  I noticed a pattern in that I would always call him and he would never call me.  Since most of my life's problems have been solved I no longer have the need to get him on the phone.  We haven’t spoken since we went to dinner on the 2nd of January.  I HATE communicating by text or in written form with friends, it’s much easier to pick up the damn phone.  However, in this case I am stubborn and don’t plan on giving in. 

I have managed to get my old ‘sex blog’ deleted.  Given the changes in Blogger/Google’s policy that will take effect next month.  From what I have read on-line most people are saying this is a witch hunt and goes against our right to free speech.  They are unfairly targeting the gay community.  Because apparently gay people are the only ones who have the need to post porn to the web.  I know that isn’t true but we do tend to obsess over men just a tad.  Blogger is a free service and there are other platforms that one could use if they wish to engage in posting nude photos to the web.  I’ve been stung once by the Blogger Scorpion and don’t plan on a 2nd.  The 1st was really a huge hit  - I lost my blog and all of my many followers from around the world.  I had no way to get in touch with them, it was as if I just disappeared.  There was no advanced warning or threat, they simply pulled the plug on me and it wasn’t unique to me, it happened to so many other people.  I said all of that to say this.  This is a free service if you don’t agree with the terms and conditions of the service then it’s time to move on.  I like free and the wonderful easy format that they have provided to use.  So for me it’s a no brainer to comply.  I will admit that it was hot and I got off on posting nude photos of other guys/porn stars to the web and talking about them and the few hot comments I got back.  However, in the end it was a fantasy world and that world is gone.  I am thankful to have this format to post my boring daily life, thoughts and feelings to.  It’s therapeutic and I am pretty well certain even though I only have 1 regular commenter that others are reading this, just not leaving comments.  While I wish I had more people leaving comments, I can’t force anyone to do anything – so I accept the situation for what it is.

Speaking of accepting I found an app called CP (compatibility partners) it’s ran by eHarmony and it’s specifically for gay people.  I was excited and downloaded it.  Completed the profile and then hit the pay wall.  Like most other service they want your money before you can do much.  I am able to see matches most of which are more than 200 plus miles away.  I can’t view photos of other guys because I haven’t paid for that privilege.  While I think they have a great matching system I don’t feel the need to pay to find my next partner.  I’ve done that in the past and it’s gotten me no where.  If it’s going to happen then it will and I don’t need to throw money at that problem.  Just invest time and save the money part for when I go on an actual date.  I know this will be a long process.  I told my therapist that I didn’t think that it was in the cards for me to have a partner based upon all of the negative experiences I have had with on-line dating.  She said that usually when clients say that out of the blue someone comes into their life and presto the search is over.  I told her that I hope it happens for me, but that I don’t have that kind of luck. 

Okay, enough yammering  I will stick a fork in this post and call it done.  Hard to believe tomorrow is March 1.  Sounds like it will be coming in like a Lion.  Also next weekend is time change weekend so we will be losing an hour of sleep.  Boo Hiss, but it also means that I will be driving mostly in the day light and no longer have a need to daily use my headlights, which is a good thing. 

Stay warm, be well and I will talk with you all again soon.  God Bless!

26 February 2015

Snow – Depression - Anxiety

The weather man was right, it was snowing just as morning rush was underway.  I left the house extra early and still managed to arrive 10 minutes late.  I am happy there were no incidents, even though I did have a sudden stop my car slid slightly but I had plenty of room and was able to come to a stop in plenty of time.  The longer I sat the more time I had to think about different things.  The anxiety from yesterday has carried over into today, it’s like I feel paralyzed and that I won’t be able to perform my job.  We got this directive that we are only supposed to talk amongst ourselves and not go directly to other teams for help.  That kind of creates a bit of a quagmire but I understand the reasoning behind it.  It’s to help keep people focused, so if you bother someone with a question your taking them away from what they are presently working on.  However, that quality and ability should be promoted here because it helps make us better.  We have a very strict process to follow and if we don’t there are consequences.  Problem is not everyone knows everything and if you go to a specialty team like networking with a network question that no one else has they are the best people to advise you on how to proceed.  This is more of a political thing and I don’t do well with politics.  

I have been having dreams of missing my partner and just being inconsolable, crying my eyes out.  It’s kind of what I would like to do in real life but I honestly don’t think it would help.  I think I am mostly cried out.  The scab is starting to form and healing is under way but it’s a very slow process and something that I can’t seem to speed up.  I think of him often, I am reminded of him when I go home and look around.  I miss him when I walk through the door because there is no home cooked meal and the house is quiet.  I like quiet but right now I would trade that plus everything I have to get him back in good health and continue our live together.  I know that is a mere wish and will not ever become a reality.  The final chapter in our relationship has been written and is complete.  Moving forward alone on my own is not an easy thing to do.  Add to that all of the difficulty in dating and trying to find a new person and it’s no wonder my emotions are on a rollercoaster. 

The weather has not let up, it’s still snowing.  The commute home is going to t-totally suck.  However, given the fact I have tomorrow off I am not terribly worried about it.  I wanted to go out to grab a bite to eat tonight but if I am sitting in traffic all I will want to do is get home and the sooner the better.  The restaurants will all still have food come tomorrow.  There is no chance we are closing early and in listening to the weather forecast it’s going to be like 15 to 20 below wind chills tonight.  There is much more winter on the way with a wintry mix for the weekend and the first part of next week.  It’s like the snow will never go away.  I said I wanted snow and now I have it but in an abundance that I didn’t want.  It can go away along with the traffic headaches.  This guy is ready for spring.  Looks like that groundhog wasn’t kidding around this year when he saw his shadow. 

My plans for tomorrow are to get my car serviced, talk to the folks at the court house about my house to make sure ownership has been properly transferred, get a haircut, go to therapy, grab a bite to eat, pick up cat food and then it will be on to home to start the marathon of house of cards.  I thought about staying up late tonight and watching at least the first episode but considering I have an early morning appointment with the car, I don’t know that I would make it if I was up that late.  So tonight will be much like any Thursday night in that I will go through all of the same motions that I typically do, in preparation for an early morning start. 

BTW, I forgot to mention that I have completed an item on my bucket list.  I saw NPH naked – front and back.  The photos are on the internet, you don’t have to join some website or pay money – just let Google be your friend and you can find both images.  The front isn’t that clear but the back is and that is what I have been interested in.  David Burtka is one lucky, lucky man. 

With that I am going to get ready to complete my afternoon in the hopes that it flies by.  Call volume has been down yesterday I took like 4 calls all day long.  Today hasn’t been much better I think I had 2 this morning.  While I am not complaining that is a lot of idle time and it ticks by slowly, which is maddening. 

Have a nice weekend and I am sure that I will be back with an update in the next couple days.  I am trying my best to stay warm & healthy, I hope that you are doing the same and that life is treating you and your loved ones very well.  Hard to believe that we will be entering the third month of 2015 on Sunday.  Just another sign that spring is really on the way!

25 February 2015

Cha Cha Changes

Another staff meeting, more changes.  Don’t do this anymore, instead do this.  I just hate staff meetings they cause a great amount of anxiety.  Some of the things my co-workers do amaze me, as in what were they thinking.  I am pretty well a by the book type of person.  However, I found out today that some of the training I received isn’t inline with our procedures, so now I have to adapt and that will take some great effort on my part.  However, in the end it will help expand my knowledge so that will make me more valuable and able to answer more questions and resolve more issues.  So while I am not terribly happy about it, at the end of the day it’s a win-win.

The wrist is much better today.  Time actually got away from me and the pain was so minor that I didn’t bother to use ice last night.  I had a huge pop when I stretched this morning but no pain.  Thankfully what ever I did didn’t mess me up too bad.  I was able to scoop litter last night without major pain. 

Today is my Thursday and I am quite happy about it.  Kind of wish I took two days instead of 1 but I am not making changes now.  I will enjoy and savor my one day off as well as the weekend.  It will make for a nice time and of course when it’s all over, I won’t want to come back. 

This morning there was a semi accident that snarled traffic up for miles.  I made it to work by my start time but I had to push really hard and make some moves that I normally don’t make.  The garage was packed by the time I got here so I am parked way in right field again.  It’s very cold out.  Snow is supposed to happen just in time for the early morning rush so tomorrow might take some extra effort or maybe I will luck out and they will either close for the day or open late.  I don’t expect the same treatment as last time where we got pizza and got to go home early but if they do that, I am perfectly fine with it.  Just means that my weekend starts that much sooner. 

Not much else to yammer about, so back to the daily grind.  Hope all is well in your world.  Stay warm and think good thoughts, spring will get here eventually!  Talk with you peeps late.r

24 February 2015

Twist of the wrist

Last night while I was preparing to shut things down and make my exit from the office, I noticed my wrist started to hurt.  As time went by it got progressively worse.  By the time I got home I could not do anything without feeling pain.  Scooping out the litter box was even a chore.  I surrounded my wrist in an ice sleeve that I have.  That helped a bunch.  It’s still sore today but the pain is a little more tolerable.  I am going to ice again tonight in the hopes that I can get this to heal quickly.  I think I injured it yesterday when I was working on someone’s computer and had to stand up to use the mouse.  Normally it’s my neck that gets me but this time it was my wrist.  I never knew how much activity I did on a daily basis that involved my wrist.  I now have a new appreciation for it. 

I spoke with my friend and he did turn in his notice yesterday.  He did it first thing and they allowed him to stay for the day to transfer knowledge and say his goodbye’s then he was walked out.  He gets the benefit of 2 more weeks pay but doesn’t actually have to work for it.  So he will have a nice sum of money if you couple that with what he already has in the bank.  Oh and he’s got oodles of vacation time that they are going to pay him for.  So he is taking some time to decompress and will be working on his resume shortly.  Then it will be time to start his new full time job of looking for a job.  As I mentioned the other day he has mad skills and is very good at what he does.  I don’t think based on his qualifications that he will have any problems in finding a job, the problem will come when they see his age.  Provided any prospective employers can look past that I think he should be back in the working world within 2 months.  He said that he feels a sense of relief.  There is no more pressure and he can get back to trying to enjoy and appreciate life.  I think the decompression time will do him good.  Plus he hasn’t been on a vacation in a very long time.  When he told me about doing a brain dump and giving them information as well as telling them they could call him if they had any questions, I wanted to say oh so you gargled with bong water before you went to work.  He told me that he didn’t want to leave them in a lurch.  Plus he has to think of his wife since she still works there.  While his decision might have been right for him, I think he should have toughed it out until the bitter end.  Chances are pretty good that his former boss will be fired soon and then he would have been in the clear.  He told me that when he turned in his letter his boss got misty eyed and said she was sorry that it had to come to this.  Really?  You got what you wanted WTF are you crying for.  I would have been a lot more blunt with her and done things differently, wife or no wife.  She screwed him over and he didn’t even get a reach around.  It’s a shame that things like this are tilted in the employers favor, all they have to do is document – they can misconstrue situations or even make shit up, as long as it’s in writing it’s gospel.  That is just dead wrong.  If I were him I would be talking with an attorney, to me being a lay person I think he has a case.  However, he’s going to wimp out because of his wife and just let it be water under the bridge.  Hell if I had a case I would make them pay me, while he doesn’t want to go back to work there money would be a decent way to get justice.

Speaking of money I stopped by the post office last night and got my reward cards from AT&T for signing up with UVERSE.  I’ve got 3 months to spend $200 that shouldn’t be a problem.  I’m taking them with me on Friday when I have my oil changed in case they tell me my time is up and I need new tires.  If I get away without tires then I will use them for paying bills.  If you don’t use them within the 3 month time frame the funds just vaporize.  I would have rather had an account credit or a check the cards I feel are just an enticement to spend more money.  However, that is the way the world works for now.  Still happy with my purchase and the features, wish it cost even less.  Taxes and fees really jack up the price as with any bill you can’t get out of it without being taxed.  That just sucks.  Nice when I want to watch TV I no longer have to worry if the DVR went to the right channel and if I will be able to really watch what I recorded.  Plus there has been occasions when 2 or 3 shows were on at the same time.  Before I would have missed them but those days are over with.  I got my cable bill last night as well because I still have internet through them and they want to suddenly lower the price if I switch and bundle with them.  They say that they can help you get out of a contract if your in one.  Yeah unless they are paying the ETF I don’t see how that is possible.  I made my decision and I am locked into it for a year.  If I become unhappy then I will look into changing.  For now things are staying as they are.

I’ve been thinking about the house and how I have never ever received a copy of the last Quit Claim Deed that I signed.  It’s been 2 months.  I think that is more than sufficient time for the paperwork to be recorded and mailed back to me.  Friday when I am off I am going to the court house with the parcel number and checking to see who’s name the county has as the owner.  I will also ask if there are any problems.  What I expect to find is that the transfer hasn’t officially occurred with the county, even though it’s taken place on paper.  Hopefully, I am wrong and I will be pleasantly surprised but if not then it will be time to gear up for the next battle.  Speaking of battles 2 more months until his (my late partner) Bankruptcy is eligible to be discharged due to his passing.  I hope his attorney will act in a swift manner and go through with the necessary steps to get the motion filed and that the court approves it quickly.  I do not have plans to make any further payments after we reach the agreed upon threshold.  I just want to move forward and leave all of the bad juju behind me.  I think and feel very strongly that I have more than paid for his loss.  You have the emotional and physical pain from him not being present as well as trying to wrap up his affairs and continuing to exist from 1 income when before I had 2.  I shouldn’t be penalized any further in my humble opinion.

Today has been busy but thus far there hasn’t been a high level of stress.  I hope that theme continues not only for today but for many weeks to come.  Busy is good but stress well that is a bad thing.  Well back to the daily grind and to hopefully wind this day up quickly.  Stay warm and I hope all is well in your world.  Talk with you peeps again soon.

23 February 2015

NPH – in his underwear

Blogger is changing their policy on nudity on blogs, if your in violation of the new policy you will receive an e-mail well before it goes into effect.  They kindly ask you to clean up your blog and if you fail to comply they will mark your site as private meaning that you and only those you specified will be able to view the content.  I don’t believe they will allow new content to be published, but don’t quote me on that.  In any case this will affect a great number of blogs on Blogger.  If your depicting a nude photo, statue or drawing that is deemed to be artistic no worries the new policy won’t apply. 

Honestly most people who want to publish that type of content have moved away from blogger and on to things like Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram.  I don’t know of any of these platforms will have similar modifications on the types of content they deem allowable but I would suspect that with time it will probably happen.  If your interested in publishing that type of content then you need a blog or a website that you and only you control.  I’m not aware of a free way to accomplish that but there are pay solutions that will.  Personally, I got a thrill from publishing content like that for a short time then it became a chore instead of a passion so I lost interest.

Speaking of naked guys, how about NPH at the Oscars in his undies.  Don’t know what I am talking about just give it a Google and you soon will.  I didn’t watch but the photo came across my Facebook feed and wow, I just had to save that photo to my phone.  Priceless.  It would have been better if he was naked but I will take what I can get.  :-)

Yesterday evening was ho hum.  My friend that is quitting his job called me back a couple times to get my opinion on a few things.  Finally I had silence so I elected to feed the cats and try to shave and was going to follow up with a shower.  The dam phone rang again.  This time it was a different friend.  I at least got my shave in.  Then we wound up talking so I just gave up on the shower part.  I was more interested in eating supper and moving on with the evening. 

An external hard drive that I have was getting loud.  You could unplug it and plug it back in but eventually it would get loud again.  While things were going well, I elected to transfer the data off it and on to another external drive.  It took twice as long as it should have but the job got done.  I formatted the old drive and put a sticker on it to remind me that it’s defective.  I want to get a very large like 3tb or above external hard drive and just keep everything I need on there.  It will eliminate problems of having multiple drives, but since that isn’t in the budget right now and it’s not a critical need, I am keeping it on the back burner.  I will get to it eventually.

I was all set for bed and then I lost Bear.  I mean he’s 40 pounds solid black how could I lose him.  I got frantic for a second and called out his name.  He meowed and he was laying in his bed.  It’s a dark blue and he is black so he disappeared in it.  I was happy to have found him and that he was okay.  He is always on my mind.  We got some quality time in yesterday with a brushing, bath and a belly rub.  Not to mention I rotated his plates of food for him to gobble on.  He had a very good day of attention.  Poor guy doesn’t get enough.  That is the difficult part of having a small heard of cats and trying to cater to each one.  Another example of this is I was rushing around the house this morning.  An early meeting at work and I had to leave so I could set up for it.  LB didn’t get his hug so he came looking for me.  I gave him his hug and of course he was wet.  He just used one of Bear’s pads to get even with me because I didn’t seek him out, he had to seek me out.  I tell you they keep me hopping. 

Everything was set and eventually I made it to bed.  I wasn’t anxious to start today given how the last couple weeks have gone.  Much to my surprise today has been calm and mostly stress free.  I did have some problems.  But nothing like the last 2 weeks.  I am looking forward to having Friday off.  I’ve got a therapy appointment in the afternoon.  So much for a day to myself but in the end all of my actions … taking care of the car and going to therapy are going to benefit me.  Plus I get an extra day off and once I am done I will be tuned in to House of Cards.  I am so looking forward to that. 

I am eager to follow up with my friend tonight and see how well received his resignation was and if he is going to be allowed to work his 2 weeks or if they just decided to call it quits and walked him out today.  I have been thinking about him off and on all day long.  He is taking a very bold step in not having something to go to.  I know my last job was difficult and there were many times when I thought I was going to get fired.  There are also many times I just wanted to throw in the towel and give up.  However, I stuck it out and in the end they eliminated my position … so it worked to my benefit in that I was able to collect unemployment, there was no fight, but there was a delay before the left hand told the right hand what was going on.  I disagree with him just giving up but I also understand reaching a breaking point and wanting to put it all behind you and start over.  So while I see both sides of the coin I still think it would be far better for him in the long run if he would just stick it out. 

The Raccoons are surviving but I am not exactly sure how.  They finally ate the frozen cat food that I set out for them days ago.  I thought for sure one of them was dead but that wasn’t the case, thank God!  There is still 3 of them I presume Momma, Daddy and Baby.  I think they may have more but only three of them will fit in the window well.  If I could I would pump some heat out there for them but that isn’t possible.  I’d love to help them but I think letting them be is probably the best help I can give them.  It’s either that or call critter control to trap them and relocate them elsewhere.  However, I don’t want to be a home wrecker, unless it’s absolutely necessary. 

Stay warm…talk with you peeps later.

22 February 2015

Off the grid

Friday was a horrible day, I had no time to myself and had to eat my lunch while working.  Plus I got in early and started running from the moment I got there.  I was never so anxious for a weekend to start.  Everyone had the fear that the sky was falling because there was snow in the forecast for the evening and again on Saturday.  I got an e-mail from my therapist informing me that my appointment was cancelled due to the weather.  Really, I mean it’s only weather the world doesn’t stop because of it.  In any event she probably did the right thing not knowing how bad things were going to be.  I would have trampled down there if she hadn’t cancelled. 

Once I got home I had supper and then was quick to start on taxes.  Things turned around I am getting a serious refund from the Federal Government.  The state that I work in now owes me money, instead of the other way around.  I still have to pay the same amount in to the state I live in.  So I am happy that I was able to take the deductions for the property tax as well as the mortgage interest.  The bad part is since it’s an amended return you MUST file it by mail.  You can’t submit it any other way.  Which means that the additional money I am due will be delayed in coming but hopefully my initial refund will process through shortly.  I hope I got it all right, I was so confused by the time I was done, but it was all packaged and ready to mail.  Postage wasn’t cheap since there were multiple pieces of paper and since it’s legal in nature you can’t double side it, everything is single side only which is kind of a waste of paper if you ask me.  I love duplexing it saves time and money. 

By the time I was done my upper back muscles were killing me, which I attribute mostly to stress of the week.  I decided to take a muscle relaxer and then call it a night.  That turned into calling it a Saturday as well.  I went off the grid and turned my computer, cell phone and home phone off.  I didn’t want to be bothered.  I didn’t leave the house and slept the bulk of the day away.  I watched some TV, ate some junk food and watched a couple movies.  I was up at 3am watching TV because I couldn’t sleep.  By 5am I was crawling back in bed and my bed buddy had me up by 7:30a which I thought was a bit early but if your used to eating at 6:15a I suppose your really hungry.  So I gave in and got up.  No surprise that this morning when I powered everything on that I had a ton of messages waiting for me.  The only really important one was from my brother, who said that our mom wanted to know why I didn’t take her out to eat on Valentine’s Day.  I haven’t bothered to respond because I think that is a childish question to ask and it really doesn’t deserve a response.  I’m 43 years old and my mommy stopped being my valentine a long time ago.  I was on-call that week, so even I didn’t go out to eat.  Plus all of the restaurants in the area are always packed, I wouldn’t have gone out even if I could have. 

Once I got going I was okay.  I had most everything done by 10:30a.  That includes dishes, vacuuming, taking the trash out and trimming everyone's claws.  What a work out.  I was gasping for breath.  The claw trimming was what took it out of me.  Ruth is good for 6 more weeks and I am happy about that.  I am sure she will be as well.  Most everyone but the bears put up some form of a fight.  I don’t understand why, but no one really likes getting their claws trimmed.  The only one I really struggle with is Ruth and since I had the house shutdown, with all of the doors closed no one could go anywhere and they were all fair game. 

Then I sat to rest and felt drowsy.  I was going to lay down but I heard my cell phone ring.  I thought it was my usual friend calling but it was a different friend.  The one who got a bad review.  Well earlier this week he got his action plan and it’s really a bona fide witch hunt.  He’s been there for something like 17 years and never had a bad review.  Now all of a sudden he gets a different boss and he gets the worst review of his life and he is labeled as a shitty employee.  He said that the action plan was geared towards firing someone, but he still had a job.  Then he told me that he is going to resign.  I encouraged him to hang on, take their money and look for work.  However, he has been pushed well past his breaking point and he needs to separate himself.  I understand but I am scared for him.  The job is starting to affect his marriage, his health and it’s just not worth fighting anymore because it seems like no matter what he does his boss finds fault with it.  It’s pretty clear to me that they want him gone and he gets the same vibe.  Why stay and make yourself miserable when you can end it and start fresh some place else.  The bigger problem is that he is up there in age, so while he has mad skills I think that it will be a little more difficult for him to find work because of his age.  Granted employers aren’t supposed to discriminate based upon age, but it still happens.  Just like the police aren’t supposed to profile but they do.  I honestly thought he would get fired rather than resign.  My hope is that when he turns in his resignation it will set off some bells as he will be the 4th or 5th person to leave.  The problems isn’t all of these people are crappy employees, the problem is they all worked for the same person who has no real management qualification.  Plus it sounds like this person has some mental issues.  I don’t get it but I hope that everything works out well for him.  Plus that he gets time to decompress before he jumps back into the working world, presuming that he is allowed to resign.  He thinks they will let him work his 2 weeks because other people have gotten the same opportunity when they resigned.  I told him that I wouldn’t expect that, I would expect to be walked out and to be paid for 2 weeks for sitting at home.  He has elevated access and could easily cripple the company if he wanted to.  Now he’s not that type of person but since the company already thinks poorly of him they are probably more inclined to make the separation immediate rather than let him work his 2 weeks. 

Well tomorrow I go back to my ball of stress, otherwise known as work.  In talking with my friend I see how fortunate I really am.  He has and is facing some of the things that I have dealt with already.  It makes me very thankful that I am working for an employer who appreciates me and I feel the appreciation most of the time.  I mean if I call in or take a day off, going back more than 1 person will tell me that they missed me.  I pray that I don’t screw this up.  After all there is a lot riding on my job.  I am only working 4 days this week.  I’ve taken Friday off so that I can watch House of Cards.  I have already made an appointment for my car and I might have a therapy appointment to go to, but outside of that my day is otherwise open.  So I look forward to watching the show and seeing what Frank Underwood and company will do this season. 

Right now I feel okay for the most part but it feels like things are fuzzy and I am operating in a haze.  I suppose that is just the sluggishness of yesterday making its way out of my body.  I sure hope that passes quickly.  Supper is Meat Lovers Lasagna.  I am breaking tradition and not having pizza.  It’s made by Stouffers so I know it’s going to be good.  I had breakfast out today, lunch was a snack cake and a soda. 

I know a lot of you will be watching The Oscars with NPH and while I am still in love with him I really don’t like award shows.  They babble on too much and that gets on my nerves pretty quickly.  I am however looking forward to watching Looking tonight on HBO.  Shameless has taken a 1 week hiatus, I suppose due to the Oscars. 

That’s all I’ve got for now.  Hopefully this week things will be a little calmer.  I know there will be stressors this week, but hopefully they will be few.  I hope your staying warm, in good health and enjoyed your weekend.  I shall talk with you peeps later.  Be well!

19 February 2015

Oh What A Night

Just your average night for me.  The best part was when I finally went to sleep.  I had the most amazing dream.  My partner had purchased a charter type bus.  Some how I met up with him and he had all of these people on board that I didn’t know.  He was rich and just decided to cart people all over the us.  It was so good to see him.  He let me start the bus but I believe he was the driver.  I ran the show and said where we were going.  I remember I wanted a hair cut and we stopped in, everyone on the bus decided to get haircuts but I tried to get them to take me first, which didn’t happen.  We waited for a few minutes, then I told him I wanted to go.  I made an announcement 5 minutes and the bus leaves.  Geez you should have seen the panic that washed over everyone, I heard more than once but I am not done.  I remember my partner saying it’s what he wants and this trip is all about him.  We left in exactly five minutes.  It was just a fun trip.  We went several other places.  When I woke up I got the feeling that he was doing okay and he was at peace.  I really wish that I could enter into a dream like this every night, I can tell you that I would be sleeping a lot more than my body requires.  He is always on my mind and I suppose with the tax thing might have caused this.  In any case I am happy that it happened.

My heart just skipped a beat I saw that I had a voicemail on my magic jack, I figured the pet food guy finally called.  Nope it was some lady who was upset about her paycheck and she was using some colorful language.  Drats.  I really thought maybe just maybe it was him.  The whole idea of finding someone is particularly difficult, then factor in the fact I am gay and the complex factor just goes up from there.  I kind of which I could fast forward to find out who I am going to wind up with, if anyone.  Seeing in to the future might not be pleasant but at least I would have some answers and would know if I should conserve my efforts and spend my time doing something else that is mindless like watching TV.  I am just a little frustrated with the whole man search.

I am such a kind and caring soul you’d think someone would want a piece of this.  Last night the lady in front of me exiting the garage was a visitor and she couldn’t figure out how to get her cards to take in the machine.  She had caused quite a backup, so being the kind soul that I am I got out of my car and swiped my badge to let her out.  The gate went up and she bolted like a wild horse.  She could have easily injured me.  She didn’t even bother to say thank you.  Wow.  Don’t know that I will be that kind again.  I leave room for people in traffic to merge over and do they, nope so I go to take the space away and then they suddenly want over.  I don’t get it people are strange.  I wish that more people would be kind and pay attention instead of having their head in the clouds.  The world could be a better place, but I suppose I am asking for a bit much. 

I took a simple voice mail that said I am having computer issues could someone call me.  That turned out to be a machine gun approach.  I was bombarded with a litany of problems that this person had saved up and finally decided to call for help.  Now I am overwhelmed and not exactly sure how to fix all of them.  I have to reach out for help.  That will be an after lunch project.

Right now it’s time to enjoy my Turkey sandwich that I put some BBQ sauce on and prepare for my massage that will be rushed.  Only because I was helping someone and signed up far too late in the afternoon.  If you don’t get there early you are out of luck.  Story of my life. 

It was 0.4 degrees this morning – that is cold to me.  I know it can always be worse.  However, I am more than ready for Spring, just a little longer to wait.  Doesn’t help that we are in for a wintry mix over the weekend.  Ah well I did want snow, now that it’s here I am ready for something else.  A couple days usually cures me and this time is no exception.

Oh I asked someone yesterday about a guy I have my eye on.  They told me no he’s not gay and he has a girl friend but she has a butter face.  I looked perplexed and they said that it means she looks okay everywhere but her face.  Funny but glad I asked before I made an ass of myself and revealed my secret to someone else.  I was going to go against my cardinal rule but glad now that I didn’t. 

Okay lunch becons.  Talk with you all later. 

18 February 2015


I went to file a tax return for my partner because the 1098 actually showed up.  Problem is that he didn’t have any income so everything zeros out meaning he doesn’t owe anything and he isn’t owed anything.  I was pretty livid about it.  I reached out to Turbo Tax for help and found out late last night that I should claim the mortgage interest on my taxes.  I don’t like to file amended returns because it causes all sorts of problems.  Right now I am waiting on the state I live in to accept the e-file return or reject it and once that happens I will be able to file an amended return.  I also ran all of this by a tax attorney and they agreed with me that the deduction is mine and it will be pretty easy to explain to the IRS.  I was told that worse cast scenario the IRS could come asking for their money back but it’s pretty easy to explain. 

The only good thing about this is that the Bankruptcy court can’t take any of it because it will all be in my name.  Last year was his final tax return.  This is just one more hoop I need to jump through.  I’m not happy about it but perhaps that will change when I see how much it impacts my refund.

Yesterday I was just wiped out and after resting & sleep I feel better.  I still kind of think that there may be an infection brewing but I am trying to move past it and hope that it is just my body reacting to the cold weather. 

It’s been super busy from the time I walked in the door and I couldn’t believe it was lunch time.  I’ve got some loose ends to tie up and I am actually looking forward to my afternoon phone shift.  I hope that I will be able to relax and that it’s not super busy.  Resting is a good thing. 

We got more snow over night so the morning commute was all screwed up, it wasn’t much just enough to make it sloppy.  I got to work on time, which is a good thing.  The garage is packed.  There is more snow in the forecast over the weekend so Monday might be interesting.  Not to mention that my therapy appointment could be impacted by this.  Right now I am still looking forward to the weekend.

Just remembered that the massage therapist will be here tomorrow.  I am so looking forward to that as well.  My calling in has me worried that I am going to screw up this perfect gig.  I mean it’s still work and I am no more happier to walk in the door than the next person but I am proud to have a job and it feels good to get a paycheck.  I don’t want to mess things up.  I thought about giving back next Friday and not taking it off but my odometer says it’s close to oil change time and the only place that I go is to the dealer.  They do it all right and while it’s not cheap I take solace in knowing that my car is well taken care of by pros who were trained to work on it. 

Enough babble, time to get back to it.  Talk with you peeps later. 

17 February 2015

Day of rest

I woke up this morning, my head was clogged up and I had been sleeping really good.  My right ear was killing me, which is not a good sign.  I am starting to think that I am brewing an infection, but perhaps it was just a one off.  Given how I felt I elected to stay home today.  It might not have been the smartest thing I have done but it was a day that was very much needed.  I think I should always schedule a day off when I am done with being on-call.  It was just a stressful time and the events of the weekend didn’t help. 

It was nice to be able to turn my phone off and not worry about what was going on.  I have since turned it back on and wow all sorts of stuff happened today.  People actually miss me.  Kind of nice to know.  Tomorrow should be an interesting day and I am sure it too will be filled with stress.  However, it’s time to get back in the game, unless of course I am dying or something unforeseen happens. 

I have slept a good part of the day, watched a movie and some TV.  Enjoyed time with the children and they got lunch, which they were pretty happy about.  I didn’t get dressed until around 2p when I ventured out of the house for the mail and I stopped at the local bar for Taco Tuesday.  It was nice to get out but there is just something about staying home that is nice.  I gathered the trash and it’s out at the curb.  Since we had snow trash pickup is behind by 1 day.  It just means that I get to throw that much more away. 

I got an unexpected surprise in the mail.  My car insurance renewal.  It of course like everything but my paycheck went up.  Having this extra vehicle is killing me.  I mean it’s nice but it’s expensive.  I don’t drive it that much, it mostly sits in the driveway.  I stick to my car because it’s cheaper to operate, but apparently the car now costs more than the truck.  They used to be within a few dollars of each other.  I haven’t taken the time to do a comparison to see what went up, but I know I no longer have a $50 Comprehensive deductible.  The minimum is $250.  The same thing happened last year with Collision no more $100 deductible the minimum is $250. 

I called the old mortgage company and they said they would e-mail and mail me another copy of the Mortgage Interest Statement, otherwise known as a form 1098.  The lady took my information and said that it was sent.  Now you’d think I should have an e-mail, right?  Nope nothing showing yet.  I will give it 24 hours and hopefully it shows up.  If not then I guess I will have to wait for snail mail.  Considering the car insurance it sure would be nice to get his taxes filed.  I am sure I will be getting a decent sum of money back.  Plus it will aid in closure I’ve got this plus his Bankruptcy.  Once I am done with that then I can pretty well close the books.  It will be about selling some of his possessions and moving forward.

I am back in the dating pool again, as in I downloaded some apps.  I have been watching with no profile and last night I saw a guy that I thought would be perfect for me.  He is 32 and also widowed – he is a lot more adventurous than I.  I really wanted to talk with him so I joined up and sent him a message.  I got a response back where he wanted a photo, which was odd because there is one in my profile.  Anyway, that is the last I have heard.  I’m guessing by his lack of response that he is not interested.  I told him that he was the reason why I was back on the app, perhaps I was too forthright but honesty is my policy and it’s the best one to have in a potential relationship.  I will admit it’s kind of depressing that no one wants me but it’s also starting to reaffirm a belief that maybe I should just be satisfied with myself and not worry about a man.  In a way I think that is also a cop out to giving up and well if I would have given up I wouldn’t own a house and wouldn’t have made it as far as I have.  This whole Columbus method of Seek and Land is frustrating.  Trying to find Mr. Right v Mr. Right now is not an easy challenge.  Too bad I’m not straight the battle I don’t think would be that difficult. 

So the season premier of Tosh.O is on tonight. That is something to look forward to.  Plus the fact that tomorrow is Wednesday and there will only be 2 more days left in the week … that much closer to the weekend.  So I am going to enjoy what time I have tonight with the TV and being alone.  Because sooner rather than later I will be back at it and on the go again.  TTYL

16 February 2015

Snowy Monday

Well we got our snow, not nearly as much as I thought we would get.  About 6 inches but there is more falling as I type this.  The road crews had done little to nothing and trust me when I tell you that it showed!  I thought about turning around more than once.  My car did some sliding around but thanks to traction control and a level head I managed to keep it together.  The best part was I was pulling into the garage when my shift started and since we have a bank attached to us, there was literally no one here.  Only a small number of people made it in.  Which means I got a nice spot in the garage.

An e-mail came out earlier this morning saying that they are ordering pizza for everyone who made it in.  While I really don’t want it, because it’s what I had for supper last night I will eat it because it’s hot, fresh and free  Then we got another e-mail a short time later they are closing the office at 3p.  That should give everyone enough time to make it home and hopefully doing so safely.  It is still snowing now and is scheduled to stop around 2p.  Just from the windows here at the office I can see that the streets look much better.  So hopefully the commute home will be uneventful.

I have packages being delivered today from Amazon.  I checked and they are in fact already delivered.  They used the US Post Office, which is closed today in honor of President’s Day.  So since they didn’t say where they were delivered I have to stop at the post office and check to see if they made it into my box and if not then they are waiting at my front door.  I got a new Mophie in a color that I really wanted, a new Bluetooth Headset and some medicine.  There is still more coming I’ve got Pee Pads for Bear, plus some Old Spice Soap that I wanted to try.  I will probably use my tax refund to pay for it, but the bill won’t be due until next month, so perhaps the IRS will have it together by then and I will have my money.  Would be nice. 

Speaking of Bear he really had me scared.  He didn’t go to the bathroom for an entire day.  I kept giving him water and feeding him, finally last night the wait was over with.  I was never so happy to see cat pee in my life.  Back when he was younger it used to flow like a faucet but now it just trickles out and he even strains to pee at times.  He is still going but I know we are in the end stages.  I sat with him yesterday and gave him attention that he wanted and needed.  He loved me back and showed me that he appreciated me.  I know he isn’t eager to part ways.  I just pray he keeps on going and that I can get a couple more years out of him. 

Last night I found out I’ve still got a sprayer.  LB didn’t get his way so he went to a spot in the basement that Blu used to pee and he did exactly that.  I yelled at him and he stopped.  Honestly he uses Big Bears pee pads he is so sweet but kind of a problem child.  He does keep things interesting for me. 

I just finished up lunch, we have $200 worth of Pizza in various different types, everything is a large and all hand tossed crust from Dominos'.  I haven’t had them in a while and it was very good.  Not good for me but good as in tasty. 

As you probably expected I am relived that Monday is here because I am no longer on-call.  Oh I tell you that is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.  I had someone email in last night at 11p I had just fallen asleep.  I looked at it and pondered and said they didn’t say urgent I’m going back to bed.  Then there were other e-mails that came in but I slept kind of good despite having had a nap earlier in the day.  I always take a higher dose of sleeping medicine on Sunday’s to ensure that I fall asleep promptly and can be ready for what Monday throws at me. 

I haven’t said anything to my boss about the blunders I made over the weekend.  I suspect unless I have a change in heart that doing it after today will be of no use.  So I will keep my mouth shut and just let it lay.  If she addresses it with me I will be able to speak to it and will admit fault, because it was totally my fault.  We have a really good rapport and she thinks that world of me, so I don’t want to tarnish my image.

Last nights episode of Shameless kind of hit home with the whole Ian mental illness thing.  It was sad in many ways but I am glad that he is accepting help.  From what it looks like he is going to be locked up in the hospital for a while.  I saw the word Elopement on the area they took him to, which means he is a high escape risk.  Elope means to escape.  Unless you have been to a mental ward or have someone in a nursing home, chances are most people never hear that term.  I remember visiting my mom at a hospital and the elevator brings you to a vestibule that is locked.  You have to wait to be buzzed in and if your not then your only other choice is to take the elevator back down to where you came from.  If patients escape be it from a mental ward or a nursing home there are serious fines plus the chances of getting the patient back unharmed are up in the air as well.   Mental Illness is often swept under the rug and not talked about much in modern society.  People don’t like to think about it much less talk about it.  Today the treatment is mostly with oral medication, but shock therapy is still used.  The side effects from shock therapy is mostly memory loss.  Your supposedly sedated when they zap you.  Back in the day I think they did it with you totally awake and you felt every bit of it.  Today it’s low voltage but done in a series of treatment.  My mom was a candidate for it which is why I know a little bit about it, but she wouldn’t consent to it.  I can’t say that I blame her.  I wouldn’t consent to it either.  Shock my heart to bring me back to life but leave my brain alone.

Speaking of shocking the heart I saw last week on Night watch they have a pump that is used to do rapid chest compressions for CPR.  That is a neat invention and something that I am sure has saved more than a few people.  Makes you think, why didn’t I think of that. 

So outside of my commute and scavenger hunt for my packages, I should be in for a quiet and relaxing night.  There is a 2 hour special Dead Again on A&E where they are fighting to save a man from death row.  That will be very interesting to watch and I am looking forward to it.  I have no idea what I am going to eat for dinner but I will figure it out.  The children will have to be fed as soon as I get home and then in a couple hours they will get their snack.  There won’t be 2 dinners but I am sure they wouldn’t object.  Ruth got her reprieve on claw trimming but next weekend it’s coming.  I don’t want her nails to curl that would be painful for her and probably a small nightmare for me.  Well back to it.  a few more hours and I am out of here.  Yee Haw!  Talk with you peeps later.

15 February 2015

Taxes & Snow

I think I am going to get what I have wanted for a long time…. a snow day.  That is provided the forecast is accurate.  The snow is suppose to start anytime now and it’s not supposed to quit until 4p tomorrow.  Were in for about a foot of snow and I honestly hope we get it.  I would like a day or two at home because the office is closed.  I get paid and don’t have to use my time.  That is the upside.  The downside is that it will get old after a while and I will also probably have to shovel the driveway.  I will take a look out tomorrow before I actually step out and I will call our ‘hotline’ at work to see if the office is even open.  I will just play it by ear and see what happens.

I decided to file my taxes today.  I get a nice refund from the federal government but most of it has been consumed by having to pay the 2 states … one which I live in and the other which I work in.  Next year I suspect that will be offset by mortgage interest and at least the state I live in will owe me.  The state I work in I always owe a small amount.  I filed all of the returns electronically.  I am just waiting for acceptance from the 2 states and then I will be able to mail in my money and this will be a done deal.  I used H&R Block the on-line service.  I got a discount through work and even with the discount it felt like I was taking it up the ass.  $100 to do just my taxes.  They didn’t charge me for the electronic filing, I suppose that fee was already baked in.  Turbo tax is what we have used in the past and it’s a little cheaper but they charge you to file your state returns, so it just about balances out. 

Now I still have to file a tax return for my late partner because of the mortgage.  I want that money back as well, I mean it’s mine.  A dead person didn’t make mortgage payments.  The problem is that I don’t have the paperwork to be able to file.  I am sure they mailed it to his Bankruptcy Attorney and he’s not in any hurry to get that to me.  So I will have to call the old mortgage company and see if they will send it to me electronically so that I can get the show on the road.  I am going to have to fork out more money to pay for his tax prep but the refund should off set that.  Then I am done and he won’t have to ever file a tax return again, which is good news.  Less hassle for me. 

I got a wake up call from someone needing help @ 7:30a and that sprung me out of bed.  I had to wait about 30 minutes before his issue was fixed but eventually I was able to give him the all clear.  Then I got dressed and headed out for breakfast @ Steak N Shake.  I had a bowl of Chili and a Steakburger Royale with Cheese and a side of fries.  Washed it all down with a Diet Coke and that was breakfast.  It was good and I could have downed another bowl of chili but I quit while i was ahead.  I wanted a milk shake but with it being so cold outside already I passed on that, which will allow me to consume ice cream tonight.  Then made it to the grocery store and finally filled up the tank in my car.  Then it was time to go home, unload all of the groceries and warm up. 

That’s it for calls up to this point.  I hope I have caught a lucky break and it stays this way.  I feel like there really was no weekend for me.  I got everything that I wanted to accomplished today and then some.  The tax thing was a spur of the moment thing, I had plans to wait and purchase the software in the store but it’s done.  I just hope there aren’t any forms that are still lingering in the mail.  Everything should be in now.  If not then I will have to go through the fun process of filing amended returns which will cause nothing but problems.  I believe I have everything, snail mail is slow but it’s not that slow. 

Looking forward to a night full of fun on TV with Shameless & Looking, that always is the best part of Sunday.  Then we move on to bed time and start another week in the morning. 

I saw a good movie today.  It’s called Switched with Jason Bateman.  I really don’t like him but most times I watch his movies I walk away from a good movie.  This was one of those times.  I got to see a kid and a grownup bond, it was fun.  This was a romantic comedy.  I was very bored and this honestly helped perk up my day.

Well it’s getting to be that time again.  I hope that the weather is nice in your neck of the woods.  That you had a great weekend and you got some rest & had some fun.  Onward to another week and lets hope this one is easier than last week.  Take care, stay warm and I will talk with you peeps later. 

14 February 2015

On Call Disaster

I didn’t get any calls last night.  This morning I thought things were very quiet for a Saturday.  Well turns out I forgot to make some changes at work so that I actually got notified of any calls that come in.  I got a call this morning from a co-worker who wasn’t happy, he asked me if I was on call and I of course said yes.  Turns out there was a ticket waiting for over an hour.  Our time to respond is 30 minutes.  The caller reached out to him directly because he was on-call last week.  I apologized and told him I would take care of it, I told him I wasn’t notified on my phone.  We also had Outlook issues yesterday so I could blame it on that.  This is not a good thing.  I called the guy back and turns out his issue was resolved.  As if that wasn’t bad enough another person needed to know how to recall an e-mail and the sooner he got that information the better.  That was kind of urgent in my book because he was a VIP.  He requested a response by e-mail with instructions but he called in and I was 2 hours behind on answering him.

Then I got a couple more calls and decided to put my phone on vibrate, while I was on the phone.  I went upstairs and relaxed, while waiting for the next call.  You can probably already see where this is going.  I was about to fall asleep when I heard this funny noise, I thought it was my phone vibrating, no that happened over an hour ago and I had someone who was totally down and couldn’t work.  I was an hour over due on that call.  It wasn’t so simple to get them up and working and I had to hand this off to another team, they took 2 more hours to resolve the issue.  Again not good at all.

In all of the times I have been on-call I have never ever missed a call.  I am not happy with myself or the fact that this happened.  It is putting my job in jeopardy.  I personally don’t think my boss will know about it, but part of me wants to email her to confess, figuring that it would help my case.  It would also change her opinion of me.  So the other part says wait and take your chances, I think it will be a non issue.  However, if it’s not a non-issue I could be in for some serious disciplinary action – which I really don’t want.  I in no way think that I will get fired for these  incidents.  No one died, nothing bad happened other than people had to wait and what was urgent and an emergency to them really wasn’t that big of a deal at the end of the day.  Got an opinion, well I’d love to hear it.

I had another caller today who had some email issues on his phone.  He was where the sun was shining and the weather was nice.  He was clearly at his kids baseball game, yeah I know baseball in February.  Anyway I had to talk with him while he was carrying on a conversation with his wife and everyone was rooting for his kid and his kids team.  I so couldn’t wait to hang up.  An emergency, well I think not.  He asked me what percentage of calls do I get on the weekend where the person doesn’t say it’s urgent or critical and I told him it varies by weekend.  Some weekends it’s every call and others maybe only 2 people will say it.  See we only have to answer if they say urgent or critical.  However, you really have to listen and read – it’s all a judgment call.  People won’t outright say urgent or critical but they will give you the facts of their issue and then make you decide if you should jump and take care of it now or wait, risk it and leave it until the next business day.  I remember when I started this job and my 1st on call I called everyone back but quickly got out of that habit because if I do it then it will be the expectation set for everyone else and people will be busier than they should be.  It’s bad enough you don’t get to have a good nights sleep during the week, you are held hostage in your home for the weekend and really can’t do anything or go anywhere … just sitting around waiting for an email to come in. 

Friday I got a call from one of our verbally abusive callers, he rattled me to my core.  I wasn’t worth anything for the rest of the day and thankfully his call was in the afternoon.  Thankfully he also works in another office so I had to have one of my co-workers reach out to him and give him the personal touch.  I know someone was cussing at me and probably doesn’t feel really good about me now.  Turns out I learned something from that.  The system has caller id, so when a call comes in your screen will show you the extension of the caller – now that I know that I wrote down this person’s extension and when I see it pop up on my screen, I am simply not answering the phone.  I don’t ever want to have to speak to him again, unless of course he calls after hours.  I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, perhaps others on my team know about it but I am NOT telling anyone.  Screening calls or selectively answering calls can get you in a world of trouble.  So we will just keep this between us.  Friday all I wanted to do was leave after his call.  I didn’t want to do anything else.  I didn’t leave but managed to calm down and took other calls.  I kind of wish that his call wouldn’t have happened because then I wouldn’t have missed anything today, I wouldn’t have left in such a rush.

On my way down to the ground floor, talking with a co-worker he told me that there is a possibility that the on-call schedule might be re-arranged due to some migrations we have going on.  So while it looks like I am good until May, this may not totally be the case.  I can tell you that I need a break from it for a while, so by the end of next month I think I would be mentally ready to take it on again if needed.  If I get to go until May well then good on me.  2 weeks practically back to back that is a killer. 

I did do my cat food shopping Friday after work.  Then made it home to put it all away.  I’ve got enough to feed the cats and the raccoons for a week.  However, it’s all going to the cats.  Raccoons got a 1 time deal.  I may feel sorry for them and give in.  Today they saw me and started banging on the window because I didn’t acknowledge them.  They scared the crap out of me.  Normally I say hi or hello and it scares them to death and they all flee.  I think they are ready for some food but not to be mean or cruel I have my own issues to deal with.  I can’t feed everyone or everything otherwise I will be flat broke instead of just broke.

The upside of things is that I was able to sleep in this morning, the kids and I watched it snow and I was calm and relaxed until the phone rang.  I managed to have a little bit of a good time.  I am kind of climbing the walls right about now, I am eager to just get away.  It will sure be nice Monday night to come home and not to have to worry about work.  Next weekend I have a therapy appointment, but other than that I am free so I look forward to eating out and being away from home even if only for a couple hours. 

Today being Valentine’s Day doesn’t exactly help but I am not particularly broken up.  We never really used to do much other than grab a bite to eat.  For the last few years off and on he would get me flowers on Valentine’s Day always Red Roses.  It was so sweet and I can say that I do miss them and miss him too.  However, it’s all going to be all right I have come this far and I can continue to make it the rest of the way.  Doesn’t mean I have to forget about him or the many memories that I have.  Perhaps next year I will have someone new in my life or perhaps I will still be alone.  It will be interesting to see what happens. 

I hope that you had a great Valentine’s Day and that all is right in your world.  I am going to feed the beggars, change laundry do a little bit of surfing the net and then it will be back to television and eventually bed time.  Then we move on to Sunday.  I hope that things with the on-call routine continue to go well and that 7a on Monday gets here quickly.  As much as I hate Monday’s I think I will like this one!

12 February 2015


Last night I got a surprise when I got home.  I found out that the person who works the late shift had to run an errand and was going to be gone for a while.  So I got an early start to on-call.  Thankfully not a sound, not even a whisper.  That is until 5:30a this morning when someone sent an e-mail.  I didn’t have to do anything with it but trying to go back to sleep is a little difficult.  Plus I had to listen to Marvin yell at me because his sleep was disturbed. 

I had Baked Frozen Chicken with mash potatoes and corn for supper last night.  Something I saw a co-worker have and thought I will try it.  Pretty good even if the portion size is small.  Desert was finishing up the Haagen Daz Banana Split Ice Cream.  Insty & Momma knew what I was eating but LB had no clue.  I even got to throw away the container without drawing attention to it.  However, when I threw the chicken bones away his face just lit up as if he was saying oh I get to rummage in the trash.  I told him not to even think about it.  I put them in a sandwich bag so they hopefully wouldn’t draw any attention.  I could have put them through the garbage disposal but it’s just easier to throw them away. Thus far he has stayed out of the trash and I don’t think I have anything to worry about. 

TV was pretty good last night, I was watching Suits when I just couldn’t keep my eyes opened so I went to bed.  I will have to rewind it a bit and see what I missed while I was dosing.  Plenty of good TV waiting for me, all I need is time to watch it.  Speaking of which I decided to treat my self and I have scheduled off the 27th.  I am going to make an appointment for my car to get the oil changed and hopefully there won’t be any other surprises.  Then I am going to go home, put the phones on do not disturb and binge watch the 3rd Season of House of Cards.  I have gone back and forth on this and just decided last night to move forward.  It’s my time and I might as well get some enjoyment from it.  Plus it will be nice after being on call and running ragged to just take a day and wind down and let the wind blow and not care about what it may stir up. 

Cold weather is back, we had some flurries over night.  Just enough to mess up the morning commute but thankfully I didn’t have to sit in traffic that long and managed to make it to work with 15 minutes to spare.  Things were really slow to get started today but now that we are in full swing it’s been non stop one thing after another.  The guy that sits next to me has had 2 crappy days in a row.  I heard him complaining to someone on the phone and he was saying it’s just not getting any better.  So I went to the soda machine and got him his favorite soda and took it to him.  That put a little cheer in his day.  I like to help when and where I can.  That was a small gesture but I know that it will go far.  Plus he’s answered a lot of questions for me and been a big help, it’s the least I could do. 

Not sure what I will be stuffing in my gullet tonight but it will probably be something frozen.  Unless I am just bone chilled cold then I will be having soup, which kind of sounds appealing.  I am anxious for this week to end and hope that I can get some rest over the weekend.  I am expecting to be busier than normal since the # of people I am supporting went up, it only makes sense.  I am not anxious to see what happens but come Monday at 7am I will be happy that it’s done and over with, until then it’s like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

I bought a Power Ball ticket last night and didn’t even have one number.  My little voice told me to get one so I did.  I guess my odds were the same regardless if I had a ticket or not.  I told the lady that I wanted the winning ticket and that I would be willing to share with others, just a portion of the jackpot would be wonderful.  However, I didn’t bank my future on it so I am not terribly depressed about it.  I just don’t have luck that way and if I did I know I wouldn’t be working for a living.  That money would certainly solve my man problem, I would have to push them away because everyone would want their piece of the pie, so to speak.  Ah, well it is what it is. 

Talk with you peeps later.  Take care, be well and stay warm!

11 February 2015

Mario Andretti Rides Again

I sent an e-mail to my Dr. and got the new version of the medicine.  His Nurse want to be a doctor answered it and said it was taken care of.  In looking on-line this morning she increased the dose to twice what it was.  So I did some checking and the lower dose I took is available but rather than fight on trying to get the proper dose, I see on-line where people take it every other day instead of every day.  So I am hoping that is the way it’s been prescribed.  If not that is how I will start on it.  It’s a great drug but the side effect is that it artificially keeps you awake, which is why I only take 1 pill a day instead of 2.  I did two for a long time but found that I had problems.  So I take a different drug in the evening, lower dose and I don’t feel any side effects.  So I think I have resolved another problem. Go me!

Last night when I made my rounds to ensure all of the conference rooms were in order I noticed that traffic was snagged up.  I figured it would work it’s self out.  I was wrong, when I left we had the conga line in the garage.  So I had to wait for someone to give me a break so I could back out.  Then do the inch worm down to the street level.  Instead of going towards the problem, I went away from it and that made all of the difference in the world.  I got home at a reasonable time, which is normal.

I managed to get behind poky people on the way home, finally it opened up and I managed to get those pokies to move out of my way.  I floored it to create some distance and just as I did some ass wipe decides it’s a good idea to change lanes.  I was doing at least 85mph so I couldn’t exactly stop.  I did try and they realized the issue and attempted to swerve back into their lane but at the last second they changed their mind and over they came.  Some how by the grace of God I managed to pass them on the shoulder (we were in the fast lane) and I never made contact with the concrete wall or their car.  It was truly a miracle.  I am the first to tell you that at times when I drive I take risks, when I get the idea I am coming through there is no stopping me.  I was trained by the very best driver to ever walk this earth, in my opinion.  Of course I am speaking of my late partner.  He didn’t take risks like I do, that is something that was bred into me and I was kind of erratic when I was driving the riding mower when I was a child.  Everyone envisioned that I would be a horrible driver and have lots of accidents but that didn’t happen.  I have had my share of accidents and honestly I am over due for one the same goes for a speeding ticket.  However, I don’t want either.  If I would have wrecked last night my car would have likely been totaled, I would have had some serious injuries and I have no idea on how the other person would have faired.  I was doing the higher speed so that is why I am anticipating that my injuries would have been more sever.  After it was all over with I couldn’t believe that I made it through and I was literally and physically shaking in my own car.  It was a huge high but also a slap in the face.  I started thinking about the cats, my bills, etc.  It was as if my life semi flashed before my eyes.  I can’t say that has caused me to slow down but I can tell you that it has caused me to be just a little extra careful.  Phew, it was close!

No sooner than I get home my cell phone is ringing.  My friend who has the spyware infection calls and gets me to talk them through how to potentially get back on the internet.  Lucky for them it was pretty simple just unchecking a box for a proxy server.  Spyware turns that on and then you can’t get on the internet.  Most of the time you turn it off and if your still infected it will switch right back on.  They apparently have killed whatever was on their machine because they could get on the net.  I told them to run another Malwarebytes scan to be sure that everything is gone.  I still think the machine should be rebuilt but if its working I am not going to push it.  That is honestly more work and responsibility that I don’t want to take on.  So it’s better for both of us if it keeps working and there aren’t any problems.  I guess I dodged yet another bullet.

Now on to the land of being on-call.  The phone went bat shit crazy last night but it was all before 11p.  The problem was that it was still going off at 9 and 10 when I was trying to relax and fall asleep.  I got woke up a couple times but then things settled down.  I woke up in the middle of the night and had 4 more hours of sleep to get.  I got a couple of them.  I was wide awake around 5am and just tossed and turned in bed.  I was hot the furnace was on and I anticipated the phone going off.  Sure enough it did.  One of my co-workers was calling in for the day.  No big deal just roll over and go back to sleep.  Then about 15 minutes before I was supposed to get up I got an actual call.  They didn’t say it was urgent but I figured it’s early enough and seemed to be easy I would just take it.  So I did.  Wow I got them fixed but it took me a little extra time.  My brain wasn’t awake and I couldn’t locate their account or their machine because I had their name wrong.  I thought it was someone trying to exploit us but no it was just the fact that I wasn’t fully awake.  I hope this is the last early morning call I get all week long.  I did manage to make it out of the house a couple minutes late but still got to work with plenty of time to spare.  The kids were really confused and they were begging me for breakfast.  I’m no fool take care of the caller first then take care of the kids, otherwise they will expect breakfast twice because I went downstairs and came back up.  I know how they think.  I am stopping for cat food on Friday night because I anticipate that Saturday might be a day where I can’t leave the house and I wouldn’t want the children to starve.  I will be leaving at some point to get the mail and everything will just have to wait.

Life here at work this morning is very slow, which is kind of uncommon.  I wonder if it’s the calm before the storm.  Normally we are bustling.  Hopefully there is no storm.  A nice slow but smooth day would be fine with me.  Even though I am already to go home.  It’s Comedy Wednesday which means TV time with the beggars.  We will each get something out of it.  I get to spend time with them and them with me, that by far is the biggest benefit of all.  Treats and TV those are just extra perks.  The fact that I am on-call but that it doesn’t start until later will give me a chance at a peaceful evening or so I hope. 

If anything else of note happens I will be back with another post.  Otherwise I will talk with you peeps later.  Take care and be well. 

10 February 2015


I got a phone call from the hospital they wanted to verify my insurance information.  I called back last night and left a voice mail, if the lady that listens to it can’t tell that I am upset, then there is something wrong with her.  I think, hope, and pray that this will be the end of it.  Sounds like they are going to resubmit the claim.

Today I got a call from my mail order pharmacy and they left a cryptic message saying they were from accounting and to call back.  I looked and they are actually over paid, I figured they were calling about their money and forgot to post a payment.  Nope turns out that one of my drugs an antidepressant is no longer covered by my insurance.  I am taking a generic form and they want $194, but when I price the medicine on the web in their on-line portal it tells me my cost is $94.  Confused?  So am I.  I did some research and found they will cover the drug if it’s in an extended release form, they don’t cover sustained release.  All I know is I’d like to stay on this drug because it doesn’t have any major side effects.  The biggest one being impotence.  I don’t want to take a pill to be happy and a pill to get it up.  That seems so counter productive, not to mention expensive.  Plus ED drugs are tightly regulated and they only allow you a small amount of pills every 30 or 90 days.  So if your sex drive is high you won’t be having sex as often.  Been there done that with my late partner.  It would have been nice to get a heads up so I wasn’t caught off guard.  I priced a couple of other medicines that I take and thus far everything is coming up as covered.  So hopefully there won’t be any more surprises.  I will have to reach out to my doctor and see what he thinks about switching to a different version of the medicine.  If that is a no go, then I will ask how I can get off the medicine – you have to taper your dosages so your body doesn’t go into withdrawals.  I tried that before many years ago and I got very sick from it – it was so bad that I was praying my life would end.  So I know not to do that. 

Change if it’s not medicine it’s in life.  It’s an on going process that is constantly evolving and as humans we are resistant to it, unless of course there is a clear benefit to us.  Like lower cost, more features, improved, better.  Not all changes is good but if you aren’t willing to explore a little bit then you will never know. 

A friend of mine is always calling me with computer issues and to try to curb that I told them last night that I no longer have a remote control tool that I can use.  So I was on the phone for hours trying to help them remove spyware from their machine.  It was like trying to tell someone how to walk.  I was never so happy to hang up the phone.  Today I get a text message they can’t get on the internet.  I told them turn it off and leave it off.  I will have to come out to fix it and we will have to coordinate that.  It won’t be this week and next Saturday I have a therapy appointment in the morning.  Then the rest of the day is open.  I know they will want me out ASAP and this is a job that could easily occupy an entire day and then some.  It all depends upon how bad the infection is and if I can get them back to a useable state or if I will have to format and start over.  I told them last night that it sounded like formatting and starting over would be the best course of action but they didn’t want to listen to me.  I think in the removal process they actually wound up installing something which has locked them out of the internet.  I understand what it feels like to be away from the net or not able to get on when you want to, but if you wouldn’t have clicked some rouge button that appeared on a website then none of this would have ever happened.  I pray that I don’t have to rebuild it because that will be more effort than I am really willing to put forth for not charging.  They are limited income people and I get that but I am not a charity and I get paid to work. So this should be interesting.

My day started with a bang at 5:30a when I got a call to install a printer.  Yes I am serious and it was urgent.  I don’t know anything that is so critical that it has to be printed at o’dark 30 in the morning.  I couldn’t go back to sleep and have been up ever since.  This combined with my little sleeping problem left me felling less than rested. 

I wouldn’t say I am having a bad day but I wouldn’t say it’s a good day either.  I am just hanging in there.  I’ve got to run work will be calling again.  Take care and be well.  We shall talk again soon.

09 February 2015

Average day

So here we are at another Monday.  Like every other work day morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I woke up again in the middle of the night, multiple times.  The sound machine changed, which means there had to be a power hiccup.  Then I had to use the bathroom.  I don’t get it.  I thought maybe finding the pen would resolve the woes and allow me to have a good nights rest.  Perhaps it’s just knowing I am on call.  I have no idea.  Hopefully this little phase passes fast so that life returns to normal. 

Everyone is enjoying the bed I put in the living room.  I think they fight over who’s turn it is next.  Bear slept there all night long and got up for breakfast this morning.  I know he longs for something cushy to rest his head on and I think it gives him some security so that is why I dug it up.  Hard to believe but it’s almost time to order more pads for him.  1st box is about gone and the 2nd is waiting with his name on it.  Those pads are more expensive than litter.  I really wish he would go back to the litter box but I know that won’t happen, still I can wish. 

Supper tonight will be Hot Dogs.  I know it’s not healthy but I have had a craving for them.  It is either that or left over pizza.  I figure I can have Pizza on Tuesday.  Spice it up a little bit.  :-) .  The cold weather has returned, there was some traffic this morning but I still made it in with plenty of time to spare. 

Today has been crazy so far.  Phone ringing off the hook, people walking up and no shortage of things to do.  Makes me tired really fast.  I saw some left over pastry left out for everyone.  I grabbed a mini cinnamon roll and I thought I was going to need a jack hammer to chew it up.  I managed, it was tasty but way too crunchy.  I guess that is what I get for eating it. 

I am stuck on the phone for a little longer than normal this morning, because things are crazy and we have a bunch of people moving in other offices.  So everyone else has to cover the phones.  Even if they aren’t overly busy, usually when we saturate them with people the call volume slows down.  I have things to do here, but shifted them to the afternoon. 

Shameless & Looking were okay last night.  I think my mind zoned out, plus I had interruptions with the children.  I heard some strange meow type noise that I have never heard before.  I went running but everyone looked at me like I didn’t make it.  I think it came from Insty but everyone was/is okay.  They sure keep me on my toes and help to make sure the blood remains flowing.   Leaving them in the morning is the hard part, knowing that they will be alone and probably sleeping makes me jealous.  Plus I do miss them. Thankfully the camera is working again so I can spy on them.  I can’t see the bed on camera because the love seat is in the way, but I am sure that it’s occupied even as I am typing this. 

So just your average Monday.  Looking forward to lunch time and catching up on YouTube Videos.  That is always fun, plus watching an episode of The Middle, provided I have time.  Lunch time seems to be the time everyone wants to interrupt me or there is a meeting that needs my attention ahead of time.  We should have another team meeting on Wednesday, which I am sure will leave my head spinning. 

I’d like to see if I am out of touch.  To get a simple buzz cut and shampoo do you think $23 (includes tip) is too much?  I think so, I know Fantastic Sam’s will do it all for $12.99 but there buzz is with the plastic clipper guards and they don’t go as close as the blade guards, which I have come to like.  I could skip the shampoo which would knock off $6 and I could shampoo at home, but there is something about a stranger washing your hair that feels oh so good to me.  It’s like a mini massage but for your head. 

Here’s hoping your Monday is going well.  Talk with you peeps later.