05 May 2015

Another day

So here I am at the nut farm, trying to make sure everything that is broken is fixed or at least has a band aid to make it temporarily work.  I found out this morning that one of my counterparts in another office is leaving.  That took me by surprise.  It will also screw up our on-call rotation, it was perfect 4 time a year.  Now someone will need to pick up her shift and then later in the year the same thing.  Hopefully we will replace her but the whole interviewing process will take time and then you have to be trained, etc.  Most people here stick it out, longevity seems to be a recurring theme.  It’s one of the things that I looked for when selecting an employer.  No job is perfect but unless something much better comes along I won’t be going anywhere despite the fact that there are few things I would like to change. 

Last night I had left over pizza, it was pretty good.  I had to police the children to make sure that everyone was eating.  Ruth and her mother both spend a lot of time at the back door it’s like they are looking for LB, but for all I know they are on raccoon patrol.  Everyone seems a little more chill since LB’s departure.  I am a happy camper as long as everyone is eating and using the litter box.  Speaking of which I noticed that the litter load is much, much lighter.  That poor boy was really doing some peeing – it was only a handful of signs that were present, that I didn’t even think to react to. 

I do feel a little bit better today.  Yesterday was rough.  A normal night would be coming home, feeding him and then watching him make rounds to gobble up as much food as possible.  Then after I ate, momma would follow me to the basement.  LB would follow and the two of them would fall asleep in my office as I traversed the internet.  It was truly a sight to behold.  Then momma would wake up and start playing and crowing.  That would stir up LB because no one can sleep if Momma is playing, she makes sure of it.  Then the quest for treats would begin.  He got another can of food and so did the girls.  Marv & Bear both get treats and Ruth usually manages to get some as well.  So now most of that happens but there is just no LB and the food consumption has gone down.  Time will help heal this wound and I know I can recover.  It doesn’t help that I have a picture of him hanging right by my desk at home.  It was a photo that my late partner took and LB looks so good. 

I didn’t really hang around the computer very long, did some quick surfing and then it was upstairs to hang out with the family.  I watched TV for a while and then called it a night.  I saw the Glee episode where Brittany told everyone that she was pregnant.  Artie flipped out and then she explained that a stork built a nest at her house, so she knew that it was going to bring her a baby.  So she wasn’t pregnant at all, just stupid, but that is the character.  It was good for a laugh.  I also watched some DL Hugley, he’s got a new stand up routine on Netflix.  I’ve seen it before but he’s one of those people that say so many good things, you can’t remember them all, so you have to go back to listen again and again. 

Waking up was the hardest part.  Insty was with me last night and she was fine until 5am, then she started stirring and I just wanted to put her out. I ignored her she settled down, I got back to sleep and then the alarm was about to go off when I woke up.  I couldn’t believe it was time again, already.  So back to the routine. 

I did get an e-mail from my boss asking how I was doing and if the arrangements had been made for LB.  I told her I was doing okay, the arrangements had been made and that I really struggle with death.  It’s something that I have always had issues with.  The finality of it all is what gets me, knowing that someone or something is gone forever.  Plus there is the fact that we think positive thoughts they are in heaven and in a better place, when in fact we have no idea.  My boss doesn’t know about my sexuality nor the loss of my partner.  I am sure that if she did, she would be even more sympathetic.  While I’d kind of like to tell her the story of my life, I just think its better off left out of the workplace. 

On a different note I had been doing a good job of removing sugar from my lunch.  Today I gave in and had a nutty bar and I am so tired now.  Before I would feel alive and not drained like I do now.  It’s like my body is telling me it’s time for a nap, which sounds like a good idea but isn’t a good idea since I am at work.

My Aveda products are on the way and should be delivered on Thursday.  So Friday morning I should be able to use them.  Looking forward to that.  Plus the weekend but I have a therapy appointment on Saturday, so no sleeping in for me.  Tonight’s dinner will be a Chicken Fajita Burrito I picked up from the store.  Looking forward to sinking my teeth into that.  Wednesday will probably be BBQ.  Thursday and Friday – who knows. 

Today is a little more relaxed at work in that there have been no major problems.  Let’s hope it stays that way.  Now I get to go back to it.  Fun.  Hope your Tuesday is uneventful and relaxing or at least that you were able to make it outside and it was nice weather.  Talk with you peeps later.

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