19 September 2017

New Ride & A Guy

My new ride is really enjoyable but I really hate the fact that the gas gauge is headed towards empty much quicker than it would have been in my car.  A tank of gas would last me an entire week of doing nothing but commuting to work with a stop at the post office twice a week.  I started on Monday with a full tank of gas and now I have 53% left. 

Yesterday I got stuck in traffic because of a police pursuit and they closed two lanes on one of the freeways I use to come home on.  It was a mess.  Funny thing the message boards said it was a vehicle fire, but I knew that was BS when I didn’t see any fire equipment.  The local news app on my phone had preliminary details about it and then it just vanished.  Okay, whatever. 

Thinking that I could out smart the man, I paid for a chip for my new ride.  I thought it would simply plug into the ODBC connector inside the car, but nope.  They want me to cut wires on the air flow sensor and attach their device.  They promise it won’t do any damage or void my factory warranty.  I just shelled out more money than I have ever spent in my entire life on a car.  This gadget might well work fine, but I am not a gambling man. 

I went through the on line return through Amazon and this is the first time I had to pay to return something.  It’s only $6.95 but it pisses me off.  I told Amazon all about it but I don’t know that I will ever get that part of my money back.  I’m shipping it back tomorrow from work.  I’d rather pay for gas than take a chance and fuck everything up – that would really send me through the roof.  No need to take chances.  Hopefully, once I break in the new ride the MPG will be more stable.

Since I shelled out money for a Grinder Subscription I figured I might as well use it.  I’ve had my eye on a couple guys.  I took a chance on a local college kid, he seems to want the same thing as I do and neither of us are interested in hookups.  There is a huge age difference and I told him about it up front.  I didn’t say how old I am but told him that I was older than he is.  Thankfully, I don’t look my age.  He was on over the weekend but I sent my message last night.  Now he hasn’t signed back on to see it.  I keep checking off and on.  It would be nice to chat and maybe get a date.  Outside of the age difference since he is in college once he graduates he might move away so if things work out it could be short term.  However, I have nothing to lose in this situation because I have nothing.  Worst case scenario I wasted my time.  Next best case scenario we become friends.  Best case we hit it off and become boyfriends.  I’ll keep you posted.  Keep your fingers, eyes, arms, toes, legs and anything else you can cross for good luck.  I could sure use it!

Now it’s time to go on clean up patrol for the cats.  Poor Marv he’s still got some diarrhea.  The vet didn’t call in his script for his IBS so I have to wait another day or two before it will be ready.  I want to get him started on that for a couple days, then I will start him back on thyroid medicine, hopefully this situation works out well.  He’s on my mind and I can’t help but think about losing him.  I know I should be more positive.  I don’t want him to be miserable and lose confidence in himself.  I want the same happy go lucky pal I have had for the past 13 years. 

Winding up Tuesday and preparing for Wednesday.  Holy cow! 

17 September 2017

Luxury Ride

Another week is behind us and it was the most expensive week of my life, other than when I took on the mortgage.  I bought a new vehicle.  I spent the most money ever on an SUV that I like.  This happened out of the blue and wasn’t planned. 

I had a thumping noise in my right front tire.  I took it to the dealer on Monday and they said it had slight feathering, meaning there was some wear and a slight bald spot.  They said drive it, you will be fine.  Okay so I drove out and was planning on going home.  As soon as I pulled off their lot I got a warning light, I pulled over and took a minute to comb through the menu and found out it was a parking system fault.  I drove back they told me it was a parking sensor.  I pulled it out of the service bay and I went inside and asked who I could talk to about potentially buying something new.

Then we began the dance.  I was shown a vehicle that I asked to see with only part of the options that I wanted.  We test drove it and I liked it but I really needed a sun roof.  So then I went up in price, I had my eye on something else but it had a dead battery.  Which is a sign not to buy it.  So I found a different model and I was very happy.  Only problem is it was like driving a boat, very large.  I didn’t want to have a vehicle that large.  For $2 thousand dollars more I could have what I really had my eye on, so I got it. 

I took a loss of $3 thousand dollars and that is rolled into my new auto loan.  Then I cashed in my old warranty which got me $1,500 back.  Then I added GAP Coverage and a Warranty and right back up the price went.  It’s financed for 6 years and payments are over $600 per month.  That is a lot of fucking money for a car but this is a luxury SUV, still a lot of money. 

I took Tuesday off because I had to come back for interior and exterior protection coatings.  I really only wanted to protect the inside but that wasn’t an option it was both or nothing.  The interior is 100% leather.  I’ve got Air Conditioned and Heated Seats.  It rides like a Cadillac but it’s not one. 

So I did cause an emotional breakdown for myself and I was in panic mode thinking of how I would be able to make the payments.  Well I applied the Elephant theory to it.  If your going to eat an Elephant how do you start?  1 piece at a time.  I took the payment and divided it in 1/2 and figured that it would take $300 plus dollars from each check.  So long as I keep raking in the overtime I will be fine.  If overtime stops then I will be cutting it close.  I still have a little in reserve for savings but really don’t want to tap that unless I have to. 

Payday was Friday and that was the true test.  I’ve marked that I took the money out, so it’s reserved.  I can only spend the balance in the account.  I’ve got close to $200 left and that should last me for the next 2 weeks, until we do it all over again. 

It’s odd that there were some signs in place that I took as telling me to do this.  First, the code to enter on the keypad if I don’t have a remote to get in was a mash up of the last 4 digits of my late partners social security number.  The other sign was the 1st payment is due 1 day before his birthday.  I’ll be prepared at the end of the month to make the payment and if the payment details are here by then I will send it off.  Nothing like getting it out of the way!

I have been all over the place and a total mess.  I figured the weekend would help with that but nope.  I took a muscle relaxer on Friday night and spent a good portion of the day on Saturday sleeping.  It was 3p before I got up and was moving.  I went out for pizza and the gay waiter was kind of flirting with me a little bit.  I had on my pride flag shirt so he knew we had something in common.  I’m telling you that man is fine!

Marv has had diarrhea really bad since I started him on the Thyroid medicine.  I’ve stopped and put him on a Probiotic which has helped a little bit.  Poor Guy.  I feel so bad for him.  He spent at least 1/2 of his day running around the house going to the bathroom.  Thankfully he went in all the right places with pads or litter so were good.  I am considering not putting him back on the Thyroid medicine, but I need to know what my options are and if I go that route how it will affect him.  I know for sure it will shorten his life but will he be miserable?  I don’t want him suffering for any reason.  The reason for the reaction is he has IBS on top of the Thyroid problem.  So if we can find something that won’t break the bank to treat the IBS then he could potentially go back on the medicine and all will be well. 

One thing is for sure it’s going to be a lot tighter for me now financially.  Not that it was exactly easy before but I felt a lot more breathing room.  If I stop paying my credit cards in full each month and cut back on eating out I’ll be more than fine.  However, that is a recipe for disaster.  I am just watching my spending.  Car Insurance went up $169 as well.  Part of my motivation for buying an SUV was that my insurance would go down, but sadly I think the luxury part is what made it go back up.  I also added new car replacement.  I am very well insured and covered no matter what happens, with the exception of job loss or death.  My boss told me to quell those feelings it’s not going to happen.  Death, well odds are pretty low at this point but if I die I honestly don’t care what happens.

I am way behind on my weekend chores.  I am still trying to recover from the big event of the week.  Next week should hopefully be better. 

As for stupid at work, my boss is going to talk with HR about him.  Not sure if that means he is on his way out or if they will just set a very tight goal for him and talk with him.  I can’t work with stupid – I did some digging and found out that he is a communications and organizations major.  How is that?  He can’t compose an email with proper grammar to save his own life.  He may be smarter than me, but it’s only a piece of paper, which is worthless in the grand scheme of things.  I am not saying I am uber smart but damn I am very well versed in my writing and if I need or have to be professional I am more than capable.  I’ve given him examples and told him he can use it as a template to modify it for what ever he needs, but he won’t do that.  He wants to be original.  WTF. 

I know this isn’t a confessional but I do feel the need to say that I had to buy a couple of things for my new ride.  The first of which is a programmer, that will get me 5mpg more.  Right now I am at 25 mpg and if I can get that to 30mpg I will be doing much better but I was seeing 35 to 40 out of my car, that was one thing it did right.  It didn’t come with all weather floor mats, so I bought some but only for the front.  I want to keep this thing looking sharp for a very long time.  Not only for me but for when it comes time to trade. 

Best part of all it’s dark blue.  Not the shade of blue that I wanted but at least I am no longer driving a black cloud.  Thinking that it might be my time I got a couple lottery tickets as well.  I don’t have high hopes but it never hurts to dream and it was only $3.  I went out to breakfast this morning, changed up my order and used a coupon – got essentially the usual without Bacon and it only cost me $5.  I love saving money, I think that is going to be my new hobby. 

Hope you had a great week.  I need to get my fat ass in gear around here as the day is getting away from me and Monday morning will be calling sooner than I want.  I also had to get a new tag for the parking garage at work there went another $15.  That was a scam but the benefits are well worth not having to roll down my window to get in and out of the garage regardless of the weather.  Oh and I was talking about a sun roof.  I now have a Panoramic Vista Roof.  Practically the entire top of the vehicle is glass.  It’s nice to let the sunshine in, makes me feel so good and I am proud each time I get behind the wheel.  I just look in the mirror and smile, I keep telling myself it’s going to be okay.  This is truly the reward I have been waiting for not that it makes up for all of the shit I have been through but hey it’s a start.  Now phase 2 is finding a boyfriend. 

Have a great week ahead and I will try to do the same.  Talk with you peeps later. 

10 September 2017


Last night I took a muscle relaxer in place of a sleeping pill.  That was a bad decision and I didn’t get to sleep until close to 3am.  Of course that threw my entire day off.  I got up to feed the cats and then promptly went back to bed.  I didn’t get up and going until 10:30a.  I was ready to leave the house and then work called.  I had to deal with an issue, minor but my boss likes to over react but he calls me the dramatic one.  Go figure!

Having dealt with the issue I went to the store and stopped for gasoline.  I still managed to spend more money than I wanted to at the grocery store and I just got a few items, no where close to my regular shopping.  Still it all adds up.

I am still a bit shaken from the event of yesterday.  It is over and done.  I am ready to walk away from the whole dating thing and even asking guys out in person.  It just doesn’t seem like it’s paying off. 

Not thrilled that I have to go back to work tomorrow and deal with stupid.  It’s not fair to place that burden on me.  I don’t mind training someone to get them up to speed.  They might as well have hired an infant because I feel like I am just a professional baby sitter and I have to double check everything he touches to make sure it’s done right.  I sure hope that I don’t explode with diarrhea of the mouth, I do a pretty good job restraining myself but there are times where it’s really difficult.

Ah well time to go upstairs and prepare for the big even that is Monday morning.  Have a great week!

09 September 2017


I took my shot today and asked out the cute guy from Cracker Barrel.  I approached him when there was no one around and asked him if he’d like to grab a bite to eat sometime.  He looked confused and dazed then he responded I’m not sure what your asking me.  I said I am asking you out on a date.  He responded I am only 16.  Then he worked in am besides that I am straight.  There was a little bit of an attitude.  Huh?  I apologized and got the hell out of there.  Not sure that I will go back again anytime soon.  It was easy to tell that I offended him but that wasn’t my intention and I didn’t ask for sex I asked for a date.  Lord knows what he is going to tell mommy and daddy, let alone his co-workers. 

Every situation teaches you something.  What I learned from this is to perhaps ask how old a person is before I approach them unless I am positive of his age.  This was certainly awkward for both of us, but I’m selfish and only worried about myself.  I like younger guys and I am not ashamed of that, it’s who I am.  By younger I mean legal younger 20’s or 30’s not any younger than that. 

I feel pretty awful about the situation but I realize life goes on and this too shall pass.  It just sucks, I kind of expected to be turned down but I never expected to hear that he was 16 that just flabbergasted me. 

I went on some stereotypical behavior along with the fact that I thought he was just cute.  First, there was the fact he was wearing an earing and second his hair cut had a gay vibe to it.  Yeah I realize not all gay guys fall into the stereotype.

Noting ventured nothing gained.  I am back on Grindr and looking for love there but I think it will be a waste of time.  I thought I could get another 1 week trial out of them but that didn’t go so well and I wound up committing to  a non-refundable month subscription.  The cost isn’t bad and who knows maybe I will find someone, I don’t have my hopes up.

I have other things to do today but I think I am going to put in some eye drops and take a nap.  Perhaps I will feel a bit better when I wake up.  UGH I just can’t believe how this went down.

07 September 2017

The Trifecta … Car, Vet & Vacation

What a week and it’s only Thursday.  Monday was a holiday.  I worked Tuesday an average day and Wednesday a totally bat shit crazy day.  I left work at 8:15p after having started at 8a.  That is one long ass day. I finally got the rest of the new hires and worked on getting them in the systems considering I have Thursday & Friday off.  After having been there so late I decided it was time to put my foot down.  This is the 1st time in 3 years that I have taken 2 days off and not monitored email.  My voice mail greeting and my Out of Office notice both state that I will not have access.  That is the best decision I have made in a while.  Now paying for it will be hell but it’s nice to be able to kick back.

I did get a phone call today from work and there was a problem, but we found a band-aid that will work until Monday.  I have no idea how I am going to fix this but we will limp along somehow. 

Marv aka Jumper got sick on me with really bad diarrhea.  I gave him something for it and it worked too well so then he was nauseated and decided to stop eating.  Thankfully that passed but I made an appointment for him.  Preliminary diagnosis is Thyroid problem.  Not a complete surprise.  I let them take blood from him and the results will be in tomorrow.  It was close to $240 but it’s something that I should have done a long time ago instead of putting it off.  If you recall I had a bad feeling about it.  I’ve been pretty worried over him more so the last couple days.  Just scared I will lose him, which I don’t want to.  He’s my sleeping buddy, hell he is family.

I went to see the doctor earlier today and got a muscle relaxer for my back.  The knots are really bad and they hurt quite a bit.  I also have noticed that I am getting head aches, which is odd.  I mentioned that and right now there is no concern but if this keeps up then we will have to dig deeper.  There is no sign of obvious elevation of intracranial pressure based on a quick eye exam. I hope they go away soon, I had one last night that woke me up and it was my entire head – it was bad.  I waited until I fell back asleep and then when I woke up no problem.  Got my orders for blood work but this time they are sending me to a lab instead of letting me go to the hospital of my choice.  I wanted to knock this out by Saturday but because of this I had to make an appointment with the lab, they of course have nothing early tomorrow or Saturday.  Fasting is required so I had to interrupt next Saturday’s schedule.  Totally not happy about that but we shall see how it goes. 

Tomorrow is car service in the morning and after that I am free.  I looked pretty hard today at cars and once again did the math, it’s something that I want but it’s not financially feasible.  I could do it but it would be stretching things pretty tight and it’s a large commitment.  Once again the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.  I don’t want to lock myself into something that makes me financially uncomfortable.  I like my car but based on it’s performance I have my doubts as to how long it will hold up before a major issue arises.  Just glad I bought an extended warranty.  Perhaps I will feel better about it after tomorrow.  I will be asking them to give some attention to the transmission.  We will be chatting about my remote and the battery.  So I hope things go well and that I am not held hostage for the entire day.  A couple hours is more than fine but anything beyond that will send me over the edge and not in a good way. 

Thinking about going to see a movie tomorrow.  The Hitman’s Body Guard.  It’s supposed to be really funny and lord knows I could use some humor in my life.  Laughter really is the best medicine. 

I dropped off of the app I went back on, it just got old quickly and there was no way to communicate unless you paid for a membership.  So not interested.  I do plan on returning to Cracker Barrel over the weekend for Breakfast and hopefully I will have the balls and courage to ask the guy I like out.  I mean I can’t lose what I don’t have so there really is no risk, except some nerves.  I already know he is younger than me and I am fine with it, so long as we have chemistry and are truly interested in each other I know it will work.  I also am not expecting anything positive to come from it but I have faced worse circumstances in my life, lord knows I can handle rejection.  I just don’t want him to be one of those guys that says yes but doesn’t mean it.  That really hurts and makes me mad. 

So now what to do with my entire evening ahead of me?  I am going to find some music to listen to, play on the internet and by that I mean surf for porn.  First I have to go reboot my modem & router.  I did a speed test and things are moving along slow – it’s not noticeable but I like to get what I am paying for. 

Still kicking around the idea of checking into a hotel and doing the breakfast buffet.  A nice whirlpool bath sounds really good.  I’d miss my 4 legged furry family but they would all get by with missing a meal. The cost is what is causing the hesitation.  I mean I can take a hot shower here, throw in a muscle relaxer and within an hour or two at most I will be relaxed and out like a light.  No need to spend $100 + dollars on a 1 night hotel room.  Now if I was meeting an escort that would be a different story but I’m not. 

Happy Friday Eve!

04 September 2017

Hot Guy & Pizza

Today was Labor Day in the US.  My labor consisted of sleeping in and being lazy.  I finished up laundry and cleaned the house.  Lit a couple candles.  I got a Red Raspberry yesterday it’s okay.  My favorite is Passion Fruit Martini, smells wonderful.  The bulk of my candles are made by Yankee.  I have invested a small fortune but burning my money smells better than when you burn yours.  Ha ha a little joke. 

I shaved and showered.  Got dressed very late in the day.  Fed the children and then it was off to the pizza place.  I opted to get a thin crust and I loaded it up with toppings, they forgot the Pepperoni but it was still good.  I got an x-tra large and dropped $40 for it.  More than I had planned on spending but the eye candy I got was well worth it. 

Yup the cute blond was there and this time he was wearing dress pants, which did a very fine job of showing off his ripe tight ass.  I just took in every moment I could and thought about all of the things I would like to do to him.  Somehow he became my waiter.  Which was okay by me.  One day I am going to tell him how fine I think he is, regardless of his age or the fact he has a boyfriend.

As I left the place I found a steal on gas, it was $2.29 per gallon and in my area it’s $2.50 and up.  So even though I didn’t need much I crammed in a whole $7 and that was pushing it.  Then I hit the open road to return to my home and my cats. 

My car started doing something strange.  I would lock the door from the inside as I was getting out and close the door.  Then all of the doors would unlock.  It happened a lot of places, I would lock the door with the remote and all was fine.  I combed over the manual and didn’t see anything.  I tried using the keypad and left the remote inside, the problem stopped.  Bring the remote back out and the problem started up again.  So I thought well it’s probably the battery.  I was right.  I replaced the battery and now everything is back to normal.  From what I saw your supposed to get a warning message in the instrument panel but i got no such warning.  I’m taking the beast in for service on Friday and I will mention it.  Just using my time to my advantage and getting my oil changed some 2 thousand miles early from what the mfg. recommends.  Regardless of what I drive I am religious about maintenance.  If you take care of the car, the car will take care of you. 

I am still looking and if I find what I like in Blue with all of the options I want, then I will crunch the numbers and hopefully I can make it work.  I have some wiggle room for payments but not a lot.  I think I will likely be forced to keep what I have for a while.  I still like it but I am not happy with the amount of issues I have had.  It’s a lot within a very short time.  Plus the cold weather will be coming back sooner rather than later and I suspect all of the issues I had with the infotainment system will come back too.  That is another reason to trade before the weather changes. 

I got my best deal on closer to the end of the year, which is a great time to buy.  They want to empty the lot from the present model year so they can make way for the new models and the incentives/discounts are larger to motivate you to buy now rather than wait.  So all I can do is keep my eyes open and wait.  If it’s meant to be it will happen.  The best thing about my present car is the gas mileage, that only gets better with time.  My long trips for pizza, pie and to the buffet also help out. Short trips kill my mpg.  The bulk of all of my driving is done on the highway, the car loves it because it was born to be driven. 

On the dating front I decided to join up on a dating app I have been on before.  As soon as I found someone I liked, I suddenly remembered what I hated about the app.  You have to be a member to send a message.  Isn’t that some crap.  So all I could do is click a button to let the guy know I like him.  I don’t think I will be on this site very long because I don’t think anything will come of it.  Lots of guys but I can bet you that most of them aren’t paying members.  Subscriptions add up and quickly. 

Well wrapping things up, I need to get upstairs and be with the furry family.  Plus I have some muscle cramps in my neck and it hurts like hell.  Where is a masseuse when you need one?

I hope all is well in your world and that it’s a great week ahead for everyone!

03 September 2017

Wow emotional week

The most depressing news I learned this week and am still in shock of is that Tyler Sky a gay porn star is dead.  He passed away from cardiac arrest.  He was only 26 years old.  I had no idea he was gay for pay and left behind a wife and 2 children.  That in and of it’s self makes this worse.  I have been trying to process this since I learned of it on Wednesday.  It’s tragic when anyone dies but especially someone in their youth.  You don’t associate death with youth but sadly enough it happens and none of us are promised a tomorrow. 

I don’t understand the gay for pay thing.  I mean either your gay or your not.  If your not then why would you even entertain the idea of gay sex?  I know it’s all about money and people do crazy stuff for it.  However, in my mind you at least have to be curious to want to try it if your doing it for pay.  I understand the gay porn market pays much better than straight porn.  Tyler Sky gave me more than a couple orgasms and he had a very nice body.  RIP.

So from death to life.  I am 1 year older.  What did I do on my birthday?  I took a nap, got a hair cut, went to work and had dinner with a friend.  Not exactly how anyone would envision planning of a birthday but hey it is what happened for mine.  I was depressed in that I am alone but I also thought about work and there was stuff stacking up that needed to get done.  I didn’t get it all done but I did a decent amount.  I could and probably should go back today or tomorrow but I am taking my down time, I need it and so does my body. 

I got a free 20 minute massage on Thursday and my back is still in knots.  My Protalus insoles came and I tried them out, not according to the directions.  My feet are killing me now, I am trying to whip them in shape but they are fighting me all the way. 

New car problem, I lock the doors and at random when I am walking away they will unlock.  That is very strange.  Just noticed it yesterday.  I really am trying hard to keep this car because I don’t want to take a loss but it is fighting me all the way.  My eyes are open and I am looking just not moving yet.  I looked yesterday morning when I woke up and if I would have found what I wanted in Blue it would have been all over. 

I decided that I am going to ask the cute host at Cracker Barrel out.  I went their yesterday for lunch (which I usually skip on the weekend and days off) and there he was in all his glory.  I didn’t make a move.  I came back for Breakfast today and he greeted me.  I was wearing my pride shirt.  He’s got at least 1 ear pierced and with the way his hair looks maybe he’s gay but I can’t say that for certain.  I can say that he is younger and that should keep me away from him.  I had my chance for a couple seconds to make a move this morning but I elected not to.  I tried to do some detective work and find him last night but that didn’t end so well.  If he’s 18 I don’t want to bother to ask but if he’s 21 well that is a different story.  18 is the legal age of consent but I am not looking to jump in bed, although his looks are what makes him appealing to me.  I am a bit of a chicken this time around because I really don’t want to face rejection but at the same time if I don’t ask him I will never know.  It’s just an emotional struggle for me. 

I got my annual bill for my Magic Jack and I only have it for dating.  I got a custom phone number and opted in for 911 service so by the time I am done it’s like $60 for a year.  I really didn’t want to pay that so I picked up a new unit at Best Buy today for $34.  I got a new number and 1 year of service.  Plus with their app on my iPhone I can text and no one will know my real cell phone.  This is the best thing ever.  Now I just got to get some game on with the guys. 

Before I go last night I had dinner with a friend as I mentioned.  We went to Maggiano’s (where else is there).  A guy sitting by us had his young daughter with him and she was hyper as fuck.  They prayed when the food arrived and they started to dig in.  They were done, he got up to go find a friend that worked there but he was unavailable.  He told the waiter what pasta he wanted to take home and said that he would like to take the bread as well.  The waiter brought back his take home pasta but nothing for the bread.  The guy took the entire bottle of Olive Oil.  I make a remark and he was heard me, that disturbed him so he thought he would duke it out with me verbally.  How is stealing Christian?  It’s not he’s a fucking hypocrite and setting a bad example of for his daughter.  His justification was I gave him a tip and he didn’t bring me a box for the bread.  What the fuck kind of logic is that?  The waiter tossed the table after he left looking for the olive oil bottle – they will probably take that out of his pay and well he didn’t get a tip he got fucked instead and not in a good way. 

Now on to catch up with my chores.  Everything is behind and I am thankful that I have an extra day to iron it all out.  2 days of work and then 2 days off, followed by another 2 of being off but on-call.  Not too shabby!  This is going to be a wild ass month.  I hope I can maintain my sanity.