Technology & Guns

I’ve been thinking about a couple things that were news worthy items this week and wanted to share my two cents, not that it will change anything.

First – The kid who used ChatGPT to commit suicide. I heard on a tech podcast that this kid wasn’t the first person who consulted a computer regarding suicide and in fact this was the 3^rd case. Technology like anything can be weaponized and destructive or deadly. I get that some people don’t have anyone to talk to. Look at me I am pretty much all alone. I also get that folks might think that others won’t understand what they are dealing with. Suicide is a drastic thing and as I learned in therapy when I was much younger, it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

We are all dealing with something. It might be work, school, sexuality, the death of a family member or friend, a sick pet or a pet that has passed, a traffic accident or ticket, some other legal issue and the list goes on. No matter what you are dealing with you are not alone there are help lines in every single country that you can call and talk with a human being. You can find resources for your country at https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

I speak from experience from having wanted to commit suicide a couple times in my adult life and also in my teenage years. The worst times in my life were the death of my spouse and then when I lost Gator my long-time cat that had been with me for 18 years. Once she passed away that ignited former feelings of being all alone and it was kind of like my spouse died all over again. I honestly didn’t think that things would ever get better or see a clear path. All I wanted to do was die because it just didn’t seem to me that life mattered that much or that anyone would truly miss me if I was gone. I didn’t bottle things up; I took someone up on their offer that they would listen to me and I sought them out and opened right up telling my life story to them. It was hours of time we spent. I did a lot of crying. I also went to the pet store and looked at cats but that just made me cry. I managed to go a month without a cat and then I started looking that’s how I wound up with Rudy and Mora. They are my lifesavers, seriously. They are so attached to me and since I am their 3^rd owner I told them that this was their home and they are here to stay. I mean that is unless I drop dead or get killed in a car accident or some other hazard.

I’ve had some low points and at times even with these two cats’ life can be overwhelming and I have had some thoughts of calling life quits. Deep down I don’t want to die, I just want my circumstances to change so the pain would stop. I know how I felt back when Gator passed and then nothing mattered. That was the closest that I came to actually going through with it. I had a lot of people scared even my own doctor. With some of the things I told him he should have had me locked up for my own well being but he trusted me when I told him that I wouldn’t do anything. How many people say that and then the next thing you know they are gone?

I’ve said all of that to say this. Reach out for help to solve your problems, talking honestly deep down feels really good especially when you’re talking to the right person that you can trust.

A former friend of mine told me think about what if you try something and you wind up hurting yourself and you live and don’t die but are handicapped or permanently injured. Also think about whom ever would find your body, that’s something that they will never be able to unsee. Regardless if it’s a seasoned professional like a police officer or fire fighter. They are human. It’s much worse if that person is a family member or friend.

I do think that ChatGPT and other AI chat bots should have restrictions placed on them so they don’t discuss mental health issues and/or assist with how to form a plan to end your life. I think that should have been obvious from the day AI started but obviously it was overlooked.

Second - The shooting at the Catholic School in Minnesota. I looked using AI for what country school shootings occur in. I was surprised to find that the US is not the only place but sadly we are the leading country where this happens. It’s to the point where it’s at epidemic levels.

I know that the 2^nd amendment gives the rights to bear arms and you have the right to defend yourself if you are being attacked or in imminent danger. It’s odd that each time this happens all we do is send thoughts and prayers. Well, those don’t do a whole lot to solve this problem that is continuing to occur. One child shot is one too many and this is something that never should have occurred.

I do think there should be stronger gun laws, I do think that all firearm owners should be responsible and lock/secure their weapons from children or those that might have mental health issues. I think that perhaps raising the cost of ammo would also be another action that could be taken. Look the world is filled with a bunch of intelligent people and brilliant minds, surely if we had some dialog and discussions on this a plan could be formulated that would solve this issue once and for all.

However, it’s not until the problem affects you or someone you know that people really focus much attention on this issue. These are innocent children who are trying to get an education and they are not out to harm anyone. I think it’s wrong to steal a child’s innocence regardless of how it’s done. Because once they are robbed of that it’s something they will never ever get back and it will stick with them through out their lives.

I grew up Catholic and started off in Catholic grade school. We had to go to mass every day we were at school. We said the pledge of allegiance to start the day. It was all very much a routine but times were way different and we had no school shootings then. We also had no technology then. However, we did have firearms but they were reserved mostly for hunters and those that wanted self-protection. Sure, we had criminals who had them to rob and steal. I also went to public grade school from 5^th grade forward and then on to public high school.

Kids can be cruel there is no doubt about it. I can think of a few kids that I grew up with that I wished I had never met. We were all free though in that we went to school each day and there was no worry or concern that someone would come in guns blazing. Being a kid today is radically different from when I grew up and honestly if I was a kid today, I would be scared out of my mind. I can’t imagine having to walk through a metal detector and using a swipe card to gain access to school. I can’t imagine hearing gun shots while I was trying to learn and then having to take cover. What if I was just walking to or from a class and was in the wrong place at the wrong time? My childhood wasn’t perfect but no way would I trade my school experience for what exists today.

I think that this problem is going to continue and it’s going to get much, much, much worse before it ever gets better. It won’t be until someone important like a politician’s kid gets injured or killed before things change in the US. There is never a time where I’d love to be proven wrong than now and from today forward never ever hear about another school shooting for as long as I live.

I can’t imagine being a parent to get the call that their child was injured or killed while at school. I feel sad for the kids as well as the parents.

Please someone find a way to solve this problem and the sooner the better before another life is lost.

My Coming Out Story

 

I was in counseling [therapy] in my teenage years because my grandparents thought I was acting out, not behaving correctly and they thought that perhaps I could use someone to talk to that was impartial.  What they failed to realize is that my brother was setting me up to take the fall.  While I was getting yelled at, he would be laughing his ass off and making fun of me, which as you can imagine didn’t set well with me.  Of course, I wasn't acting right because I was getting in trouble for shit that he setup or traps that he laid and I fell into.  I was the victim when I looked like the aggressor [perpetrator].  They say everything happens for a reason and well it did. 

It was my therapist that after a couple years of talking with me, confronted me and told me that one of my problems if you will, was that I was gay and trying to deal with coming to terms with it.  I myself didn't even know it and denied it.  Eventually enough time passed that allowed me to think about what he said and internalize it, which led me to the conclusion that he was in fact right.   While I was trying to sort this out, I told my family what he said and they agreed with me I wasn't gay I was just young and growing up.  I hadn't yet figured out who I was.  Except yeah, I had with a little bit of time.  I also figured out that my therapist was gay as well.  He had a boyfriend and he was older and passed away while we were in therapy.  The best advice I got from therapy was don't fall in love with an older man and I will be damned what did I do but disregard that sage advice. 

My therapist encouraged me that when I felt comfortable, I needed to come out to my grandma, it was important to acknowledge who I was.  I didn't understand why.  He said that I should only do it if I felt comfortable and thought it was safe.  It was very much a personal decision but something that he strongly encouraged me to do.  I was told that it would make me feel better about the whole thing.  As you would expect I wasn’t terribly comfortable with the idea and afraid that it would forever change my relationship with her.  I was grandma’s boy and we had a tight knit relationship.

One day I got up the courage and me and my grandmother sat down in the kitchen in the evening.  I told her that I was gay.  She dismissed it and she told me that I was confused and just growing up and figuring out life.  I was far too young to know that I was gay and I was more likely experimenting.  That's when I told her that I had sex and I liked it.  She was cautiously curious but pressed me for details while trying at the same time not to come unglued.  She asked me what kind of sex I had.  Without missing a beat, I said oral and I loved it.  She told me that a co-worker gave her a book [romance novel] to read at work and it had oral sex in the plot, she thought that was absolutely disgusting.  Then she asked where she was and where this took place.  That's when I told her it was in her home and she was home while this took place.  Eventually she became exhausted from grilling me on who the guy was.  She told me that it was going to be okay, it didn't change things between her and I, even though it was tough for her to comprehend.  I wasn’t dumb, I knew that if I gave up the guy’s name, he wouldn’t be able to come over and there would go my sex life.  The one thing she said is no matter what that I could never, ever tell my grandfather.  He surely would kick me out and disown me.  I am positive that she never said a word to him. 

Years later after she had passed, I was watching a gay porn movie in my bedroom and thought the door was locked but it wasn't.  My grandfather had a nasty habit of just sneaking up on you and that kind of bit him in the ass.  I didn't know it but he had opened the door while I was busy working and just about the time things were getting good the door slammed loudly.  I lost my momentum for a moment and became worried and scared.  Then I thought hell might as well finish what you started and back to work, I went.  I stayed in my room for a couple hours and when I came out it was as if nothing had happened.  He wasn't pleased with me but he never said a word.  It wasn't as if it was a huge surprise to him, I think he figured things out a long time ago but just never said anything to me.  He just had his fears, worries or concerns whatever completely confirmed and validated.  That had to be soul crushing and a frightful moment for him.  I honestly never really thought about it at the time.  I was more worried if we were going to have an argument and I was going to become homeless, which thankfully neither of which occurred.   

As for my mom I told her a short time after I told my grandmother.  My mom was a bit immature and while she was accepting, she asked me if I shoved the large flashlight, I was carrying with me up my ass for sexual pleasure, to which I responded no.  She wanted to know all about my first sexual experience and what I had tried.  I of course never told her a word, she was a bit twisted there and it just didn’t feel like something that was appropriate for a child to be telling their parent.  She was concerned on how I could top a guy with my back problems.  She always said that I should be a top.  She worked in a Hospital and after I told her she went to work and had to tell all of her coworkers who never quite looked at me the same way when I visited her at work.  Jesus my mom couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it unless of course it was going to benefit her.

My brother kind of figured things out on his own.  I mean we had a conversation about it and he said that it didn’t bother him.  However, it was used against me when we would get into fights, he would call me a fag or faggot because he knew it would affect me and it did. 

The thing that I have found out is that Coming out is a continual and life long experience.  Some people think just because you tell your parents and friends that your journey is done.  Nope, as life goes on you find yourself telling a co-worker, your boss, your physician and the beat goes on.  Your never ever done coming out of the closet.  I have had people ask me why I felt compelled to tell them.  Simply put this is part of who I am and I want you to know all of me not just part of me. 

I've been asked if I was the man or the woman in the relationship, to which I replied were both men.  We each have a bit of a girly side but were both very much masculine.  I have also had people ask me if I was a top or a bottom.  Unless we're having sex it's really no one's business.  I get the curiosity to want to know that.   I mean when I find out a guy is gay that is one of the things that I really want to know, especially if they are or were famous and if I can find out great and if not, we'll so be it.

A side note, a bit off topic.  The one advantage to having an older man as your boyfriend, partner, husband, spouse, etc. is that people often would mistake us as Father and Son.  We wouldn't bother to correct them.  He [my late spouse] did fulfill part of the father role for me.  To us it was humorous.  I would have certainly spoken up but I knew telling people the truth (while he was alive) would have made him feel uncomfortable, so I respected his wishes.  It was a compromise that we agreed upon.  He did tell his best friend at the time in confidence and his friends wife overheard that ended the friendship because she is against homosexuals.  I really liked those people and we used to hang out all the time, that is until they found out the truth and things came to an awkward and abrupt halt.  I remember coming unglued at the time because he [my late spouse] didn’t ask me ahead of time if it was okay to tell someone about me [us]. 

Coming out is a very personal experience and once you say the words, I am gay, it's not like you can take those words back.  Therefore, you have to tread cautiously and think before you speak.  I of all people understand that one can be eager to shout it to the world, as was I.  However, I am thankful that I was able to have smart people in my life to discourage me from telling the world because there were times when it wouldn't have been appropriate, it would have changed things and it could have been detrimental to my career/employment.  I work in a state where it was legal to fire someone for being gay, which I think is so stupid.  How does one’s sexuality impact their ability to perform their job?  How does it change anything in the employer/employee relationship?  My point here is that only you know your circumstances and if it's safe for you to come out.  There are people who will embrace and applaud you and there are people who will react negatively.  While I wish that I was a bit more open, seeing things with hindsight I am thankful for the most part the way life turned out as it relates to who I have told and who I didn't tell. 

Where I work now, it is a progressive organization that has an LGBTQ + group setup and allies as well.  The thing that I don't like is that if you choose to come out, your placed in a group that serves as a mailing list, so if you have access as I do, you can clearly see who is gay.  There are people that I work with that I would never, ever under any circumstances want them to know about my sexuality just because.  No one is treated differently because they have chosen to come out but I think that group along with other minorities in our organization are played a bit Ike tokens for PR.  What I mean is that my opinion is look we have a gay group, an of color group, this group and a that group.  We are so proud of ourselves in the fact that we are diverse.  Yeah, I don’t think you need to advertise it, just say that you offer same sex benefits and that right there tells a person all they need to know.  I don't want that and I don't want a label hanging over me.  I am Jeremy a man.  Being gay is just part of who I am.  Just like having a love for pizza, being male and white is also part of who I am.  It changes nothing, you either like me for who I am or you don't. 

I am a sucker for a good coming out story, I like the emotions that come with the ride.  I remember watching the video of the Rhodes Brothers [there YouTube stars, give it a Google] telling their parents they were both gay.  I cried just as they did.  I am not particularly fond of when it doesn’t go well but it’s a gamble, as is all of life.  While you want to think everyone will be accepting of who you are and that it won’t change anything, it does change because you uttered those words [ I am gay] and you can’t take that back no matter what.  You have to take into consideration that the person on the other end might not be receptive and be prepared for whatever negative consequences could occur. 

Parts of this story were in my book but since Coming Out is something I view as a major life event, I decided to expound on this.  I hope that you enjoyed it.  It certainly was an emotional rollercoaster that had some great risks as well as rewards.  I’m glad that I was able to tell my grandmother and that she was so tolerant.  She didn’t endorse it but understood that I was born that way and it wasn’t a choice I made.  I know that she would be extremely proud of the man I have become and I really wish she could see me now. 

You hear the saying "It Gets Better" applied to coming out.  Yes, it does get better but usually when people get older and more mature.  If your coming out in school, my opinion is that most people aren't mature enough to deal with it until they are College age.  If your thinking of coming out, don't do it because I did, do it because it's something you want to do.  Below are some resources that I hope are of help. 

HRC Resource Guide for Coming Out 

Matthew Shepard Foundation  - Coming Out Resources 

The Trevor Project - Coming Out | A Handbook for LGBTQ Young People

 

 

Young, Gay & Confused

 

Off and on today I have been thinking about the young guys who are dealing with being gay.  I feel compelled to write this post, so here goes.

Most every gay adult can remember their childhood and how they came to terms with being gay.  For some of us it’s easy and others it is the last thing that we want to admit to ourselves.

Not to sound like a song but you were born this way.  Your sexuality isn’t a choice and you can’t change it.  Presuming that your gay, you can deny it and live a straight lifestyle.  However, there will always be something yearning inside of you.  You will notice hot guys and look them up and down. 

A former co-worker of mine has done exactly what I described above.  He’s married and has two kids.  He says he loves having sex with his wife.  He is very religious and even a minister.  Still I could see that he wasn’t happy.  I of course was very attracted to him but never let on that I was gay, let alone attracted.  I think he figured things out on his own.  This is how he chooses to live his life and he thinks he is happy, maybe he is.  I just know that it’s hard to keep putting up a façade.  He says his wife knows but she doesn’t get it.  He never told her that he was gay just that he is attracted to good looking men.  He gravitates toward youth and does activities with young men.  I know he wants to help them, but I am more than positive he is looking at their bodies and lusting after them. 

Now many people will tell you that being gay isn’t normal and it’s a sin, you will burn in hell and God/Jesus hates you.  All of that is pure hokum.  First, being gay is about as normal as being straight is.  Second, God/Jesus created you, if he didn’t want you Gay then you wouldn’t be.  Being Gay isn’t a sin.  Some of the things that us Gay folks do are sins.  However, straight people commit sins as well.  No one is perfect here on planet earth!

I remember growing up and knowing inside that I was different but just couldn’t put my finger on what made me different from everyone else.  I was in psychotherapy to deal with the pains of growing up and oddly enough my fear of driving.  My therapist himself was gay and we got to know each other really well.  There was no sex or sexual acts.  Just pure conversation.  One day out of the blue he told me I think your gay.  Wow, that sent me into a tirade.  I was very upset at what he said.  Why there was no way that I was gay.

I also remember telling my grandma the news.  I lived with my Grandparents because my mother wasn’t fit to raise myself and my brother.  She was kind of floored.  Most every adult I talked to said ah, your just going through growing up.  Things may be confusing but it will all sort its self out.  Your straight and have nothing to worry about.

Thinking back on things, from the earliest day I can remember saying I don’t like girls.  I always thought that.  Sure kids say odd things but I meant what I said, I just didn’t like girls.  Then there was the playing doctor with other boys.  Sure kids do this but when you are in your teenage years, it doesn’t seem all that normal.  Then it happened one day I was playing doctor with a friend and he suggested having sex.  I didn’t quite understand what he meant but in fact we did engage in sex.

I remember going back to therapy and saying that I had sex.  We talked about that and that’s when I realized and admitted to myself yeah I really am Gay.  I remember telling the guy I was having sex with that what we were doing was Gay and he said nah, it’s just two dudes messing around.  Okay call it what you want but it was Gay Sex.

There were many times when I wanted to end my life because I was so confused.  The world seemed to be against me.  I had problems at school when it leaked out that I was messing around with other boys.  I learned quickly that kids can be cruel and heartless.  I can also remember before that happened spotting a boy and just falling in love.  At the time I didn’t know what it was but I just knew I had to meet him.  I told my friends and worked with a teacher.  A meeting was arranged and we were introduced.  Holy cow, that just made my day.  Nothing happened between us, we just knew who the other guy was.  This was in Jr. High and he was older and graduated before the humiliation started.  So I can attest that growing up much less growing up gay is difficult.

Today kids have Facebook, Twitter and other Social Media.  Cell Phones are something every kid has and rumors, news and gossip can spread quicker than when I was going to school and we had to do it the old fashion way.  How?  Passing notes of course.  Bullies have been around for a very long time.  I experienced my fair share of them and even as an adult you run into them once and a while.  Some kids make fun of others because you’re an easy target, because they too are confused or having problems. 

My therapist always told me that Suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I heard it often enough that now most every time I hear the word Suicide that phrase pops into my head.  Presuming that your able to complete the act, you will no longer be subject to ridicule, humiliation, rumors, bullies and all of the things your dealing with.  However, you won’t get to experience what ever technology advances come our way.  You won’t get to eat good food and you will miss out on so much.  Not to mention think of how devastating life will be for your parents and/or siblings.  Everyone means the world to someone, even if you don’t know it.  Now think of this someone is going to find your body.  Do you really want to inflict that much pain on someone.  Sure you think it will be a specific person, but what if something changes that day and someone else finds you.  That is an image that is burned into a persons memory and something that one can never forget. 

I was always told things will get better as you continue to grow up.  I was told College would be a blast and that people would love and accept you for who you were.  If they couldn’t do that then they were not friends or people you wanted to associate with.  Well, I never went to College.  However, I did become an adult and yes I do have a drivers license. 

 

Okay, so Mr. Smarty Pants how did you manage your way through it?  I mean my world is crumbling around me and I just can’t take it!

Well I talked to my therapist.  I talked with my grandmother.  I just talked and that always made me feel better.  Maybe not right away but that and a good nights sleep, made the next day better.  When you are young (teenage years) what you perceive as your world is really not your world.  When you become and adult you will totally understand.

So I said all of that to say this.  If you have questions about your sexuality, your dealing with pressure from other kids, you feel like you want to hurt yourself to end the pain.  Please talk to a responsible adult.  Don’t have anyone?  Well your in luck there are plenty of adults and young adults at The Trevor Project that would be more than happy to talk with you.  If your in a crisis situation please pick up a phone and dial 866-488-7386 it’s a toll free call and you will find that someone who can help you. 

Before I posted this I looked for sites where I could list my blog to specifically help the younger generation.  Sadly I couldn’t find any place to list my blog.  I’m hopeful that this post is something a young guy who has some questions about his sexuality and/or needs help will stumble upon.  For me just knowing that I put this information out on the web, is satisfaction enough that I’ve taken a step to potentially help someone.

 

That’s is all well and good.  I have already accepted that I am gay and now I have questions about coming out.  Should I?  Who should I tell?  What if something goes wrong? 

Okay, all of those are good questions.  Coming Out is a continual life long process.  Sort of like always introducing yourself to new people.  It’s something that once you start, you will be repeating it many times in your lifetime.  It may always make you nervous, depending upon who you want to tell and why you want to tell them.

Personally for me, that information is on a need to know basis.  Meaning if you don’t need to know then I’m not telling you.  You can suspect, inquire but I won’t give in.  Now what works for me, may not work for you.

The first time I came out was to my grandmother.  I can remember being very nervous and telling her things were going to change and never be the same.  Well, this is news that once you tell it, you won’t be able to take it back.  So my advice is to T H I N K before you act.

So me and grandma were all alone talking and I took a deep breath and told her that I was g-gg-gay.  She responded with oh, your just confused and that is part of growing up.  I said well I’ve had sex.  She responded with WHAT!  I said I had sex.  She said okay what kind.  When I told her that I put a dick in my mouth, I thought she was going to puke.  She told me that was nasty.  Okay, so that cinched it, she knew I wasn’t kidding around, this was for real.  She told me not to ever tell my grandfather, because he would kick me out.  Then she wanted to know where this sex business took place. When I told her in my room that was just like I was pulling hair from her body.  She was outraged.  Then she countered with where was I (meaning her).  I said you were home.  Holy crap that made it worse.  Then there was the guessing the guy.  Was it x, y, or z.  She guessed most every guy that I had over to the house and even called out the specific name of the guy involved but I never told her.  I protected him because I figured that we would probably be separated or at the very least our contact would be supervised and I for one wanted to continue having sex.  Grandma wasn’t as much mad as she was just totally surprised.

That experience was nerve wracking to say the least.  I was much happier when it was over with, since she accepted me for who I was.

I told my mom and she was okay with it but acted a bit immature telling me that I should always be the TOP.  That if I wanted to be the BOTTOM I could use objects on myself.  Yeah, uh that’s just messed up.  But then again so is my mom.

My brother figured things out.  He is straight in case your wondering.

So that is my experience.  You have to decide who you want to tell, do it because you want to and not for any other reason.  I was encouraged by my therapist to tell my parents (that being grandma and grandpa).  I accomplished 1/2 of that.  Telling your parents can mean your loved and accepted for who you are OR you could be tossed to the curb.  Only you know how and when or if you should come out.  Do what your heart tells you and you won’t be wrong.  Don’t do it during an argument or to try to get even.  If at all possible, DO have the conversation in person.  Don’t send it in an e-mail or text message.  It’s far too important and you need to know how people take the news.  I am no expert and there are way more resources available on-line today than when I was growing up.  Heck the internet hadn’t been invented then!  In summary you are the best judge of who you or if you should tell.  Be prepared because things may or may not go like you plan them.  Have a plan in place if things go south.  Whether it’s moving, loosing a friend or whatever.  The best advice I can give you is to THINK.  Rome wasn’t built in a day and you have waited this long to tell them, another day or two won’t hurt anything!

I am only 40 (really) but I have been through so much in my life time.  I can tell you that if you decided to come out at work be it at a fast food place or in Corporate America THINK before you act.  Many people are fired because of their sexual orientation.  I came out at my last job, it was a very slow process but eventually I went against my own beliefs and told one too many people.  Next thing you know I got a new boss and he hates queers but he can’t say that.  So he sits and waits for the right moment and then presto I got fired.  There was a lot that factored into his decision but ultimately it was pure hatred for me and for my sexuality.  He just did it the legal way and not knowing any better and needing money I signed away all of my legal rights. 

Society as a whole today is much more accepting of the GLBT Community.  Gay Marriage on the other hand is a political battle much like abortion, the Civil Rights Movement and many other things that were made in to Federal Cases that were just simple issues.  People love to get worked up and tell you that you can’t do something.  Well, it may not be during my lifetime but trust me Gay Marriage will happen eventually, the controversy will disappear and it will be just as right as rain.  We just have to keep on fighting the good fight.

Not all of Society accepts us, but a small majority does.  Look at no more Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Gay Marriage is legal in some states and in others you can get a Civil Union.

The root of the problem is we are different, people don’t like different and they don’t understand it.  They want everyone to be the same.  Well bad news, were all created equally but we are different people.  Personalities, Fashion Choices, Political Parties, etc.  Once everyone understands that we are not all Pedophiles, We don’t want to hump every guy we see and Not all of us engage in Risky behavior.  Once all of that is realized then I believe that different will become understood and us Gay folks will be accepted.

I know this is a long post and I am about to wrap it up.  I will say it again if your in a Crisis situation, please reach out to an Adult or call The Trevor Project.  Being gay is NOT the end of the world.  It’s not an easy road but it is a road that I didn’t think I could make it and look at me I’m doing fine, with the exception of needing a job.  I am happy to talk with anyone be it a public comment conversation or a private email conversation.  You have to reach out to me.  I warn you in advance, I am not a trained professional so I don’t and won’t have all of the answers.  I can tell you things from my POV and give advice but in the end you have to make the final choice.

Thank you sincerely for reading this.  I hope it’s helped at least one person!  Good Night one and all.  Talk with you peeps later.