31 March 2012

Screaming Saturday

Early morning wake up call from Big Boy.  7 AM on a Saturday.  Of course I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I got the kids breakfast and then went back to bed.  I cuddled with Jumper for a little bit.  Then decided that today might be the day that I get to eat at the Breakfast Buffet at Golden Corral.  So I went into my partners room and crawled into bed with him.  That woke him up.  I asked him about going but all he wanted to do was talk. 

Geez, so we talked.  He rubbed my back, I got tickled.  Then finally I got to go back to sleep.  My partner went back to sleep as well, but he wasn’t wearing his CPAP mask so he was snoring like a freight train.  He woke me up like 3 times. 

Finally he woke up and was ready to go.  I told him to leave me a lone I needed some sleep.  I woke up at 1.  We had some fun, then we got cleaned up and ready to go.  However breakfast would have to come from a restaurant and not the buffet as I wanted.   Then I remembered a coupon for buy 1 breakfast get 1 free at Bob Evans.  So that’s where we went.  The food was good and we loaded up.  By now it was 3 in the afternoon.

I of course tried to get my car washed with the car wash I purchased days ago but the wash was still broken.  So I had to go to a different place and pay.  It was a stand alone do it yourself car wash that had an automatic wash as well.  Being full and lazy I opted for the automatic wash.  It did an okay job and got most of the bugs off of the car. 

What I like is that my car is 3 years old, only has 12,500 miles and still smells new when it sits in the heat for a bit.  Still drives like a dream.  I just hope I can afford to hang on to it and keep up with maintenance.  I bought an extended warranty with the hope of turning it in early and getting some money back.  No such luck.  Kind of funny how I planned ahead and it worked out in my favor, at least in this instants.

Talked with my brother, not much new there.  He just wouldn’t shut up this afternoon.  76 minutes of jabber.  When I was done talking with him I needed a nap.  So the girls and I laid down and dozed off a bit.  Then it was time to feed the kids again.

I needed to send some information to my attorney and I came downstairs to do that.  Only to find that TAZ’s buddy decided to pee all over my fax machine and he took out a certificate for a course that I completed back in 2010.  Thankfully it was a copy and not the original.  I reluctantly cleaned up that mess and then moved on to my original task.  Then started the job search, nothing out there for today as I thought.

So that brings me to supper.  I had a couple pieces of left over pizza and washed that down with a Diet Coke.  The kids wanted to help me eat but they didn’t get their wish.  I did drop a black olive on the floor.  #1 Son (a cat we used to have) would have been all over that.  These guys just sniffed it and then looked back up to me, as if to say give us the good stuff.  I finished my food and then decided to lounge in the living room to watch some Internet TV. 

Just got done with that and now here I am.  Blogging away.  One more day.  Tomorrow is April Fool’s Day.  Glad that we are staying home, we can kid around with each other.  I’ve already changed over my calendar here in the basement that has of all things on it Naked Porn Stars.  Ah, April is a beauty!  Now if this can just be my lucky month.  Since we didn’t win the lottery, I guess I am destine to work at least for now.  Hopefully this will be my month to get a job.  The other thing about this month is there is a Friday the 13th, so if your superstitious you might want to watch out.  The moon might rise in Uranus!

I did get a letter today about my unemployment but might as well have been written in Chinese.  Neither I or my partner understand how it affects me.  I *think* that I may get to collect until the end of the year but that is purely an assumption.  I will have to call and ask someone to translate it for me.  I don’t know why something so simple has to be made so complicated.  Its like they want to keep you guessing.  I get that if your defrauding the system but I really need this benefit and would rather not waste my time by sitting on hold waiting for someone.  At least I will wait until Tuesday or later in the week to call.  I called on a Monday one time and it took forever to get through.  I just hope what ever the letter translates to is good news for me!

So that’s my boring life for today.  I will talk with you peeps later!

Four Things About Your Cell Phone

image

30 March 2012

Ugh it’s Friday

Most people do not complain when Friday gets here.  However, when your sitting in my shoes with no job, Friday means you get two days of sitting and waiting until Monday rolls around again.

I am happy to report that March went out like a Lion.  I say that because there was like 5 jobs I applied for tonight.  My over all week total is up to 15, which is not bad at all!

Nothing special about today, just another average day in the life.  We did go out to get a bite to eat for supper.  I had a huge pizza and brought left overs home, which will last a couple days.  My partner had a huge salad which he consumed at the restaurant.  So now we have left over pizza and left over chili, wow doesn’t that sound like an amazing combination for heart burn?  Ah well, there is cheese and that is what appeals to me.  I love cheese, always have and always will.

I need to go clean out the kids water fountain and change the filter.  It’s actually due tomorrow but I have been putting it off and the time seems right.  If I procrastinate any longer it won’t get done.  They actually can get sick if I don’t stay on top of this.  Bacteria builds up, someone always tosses food in I guess they think it’s fun.  Anyway, it’s best when it’s clean but give it a day and they manage to get it dirty.  However, they all drink like they are fish.

So Happy Friday and I hope that you enjoy your weekend.  Got any special plans?  Going any place?  I’d love to hear about it.  Leave a comment.  Meanwhile I will keep on keeping on.  Talk with you peeps later!

Bonus PC Tip

My partner was having some printing issues today and that got me to thinking, folks know about updating their operating systems (ex Windows Updates) and they know to update Programs (ex Adobe Reader) but do they know to update their printer, probably not.

Most all modern day printers have Firmware updates.  That is software written specifically for your printer.  It can include bug fixes, improve printing, conserve ink and lots of other things.  To find out if your printer has a Firmware update get the make (ex HP, Xerox, Lexmark) and the model number of the printer (ex Desk Jet 410, Platinum Pro 905) and then browse to the Manufacturers web page.  Look up your specific printer and then look under a tab that could be labeled Software or Software/Downloads, you may find this under a different tab as well.  If you locate Firmware look at the date on the file if it’s recent then you will want to download the file and follow the instructions included for updating. 

The most important thing is do not do a firmware update when there is a chance you will loose power.  So if there is a storm in your area or you are experiencing brown outs, because if you loose power while the update is in progress you very well will destroy your printer.  That’s right it will become an oversize paper weight.

While you are at your Manufacturers webpage look to see if there are any other software and/or driver updates.  I personally wouldn’t mess with a driver update unless you are having problems printing or communicating with your printer.  Other software updates should be okay.

Just like in my last PC TIP, this is information.  If you choose to move forward you are doing so at your own risk.  So if something goes wrong it’s not my fault.  Chances are pretty slim that something will go wrong, but the possibility still exists.  So I have to put in this disclaimer. 

Earlier this year I had some printing problems with my Lexmark printer.  Turns out the print head was shot.  I called Lexmark and they sent me new ink and a new print head.  I had already installed all of the latest software and firmware updates.  I used to go through ink like a normal person would drink water.  Now I get much better printing and my printer doesn’t consume ink like it used to.  Needless to say I’m very happy.

Happy Computing!

29 March 2012

Free an Innocent Man

 

free ryan

Can you imagine being convicted of a crime you never committed, being sent to prison, being away from your friends and family?  I honestly don’t know how I would make it.  You think something like this wouldn’t happen in America, but it has and does. 

In America you get your day in court and a judge and/or a jury decides your fate.  If your found guilty you are pretty well screwed.  You can appeal, cry and scream but the American Judicial System pretty well turns its back on you, as does most of society.

Not sure if you have ever heard of Ryan Ferguson.  His story has been on NBC’s Dateline twice.  First to tell his story and how because of a friend who dreamt something, that Ryan and his friend are both in prison for Murder.  This is a murder that Ryan didn’t commit.  The police spoon fed his friend information and called it a confession.  They tried to get Ryan to confess and used lots of pressure but Ryan has never, ever said he was guilty.  Then they struck a deal with his friend that if he would testify against Ryan they would not seek the death penalty.  The first episode was entitled Dream Killer.

Now there isn’t one shred of evidence.  No DNA, No Fingerprints, absolutely nothing.  There were some witnesses who saw outlines or shadows of people.  The prosecution pressured them to point the finger at Ryan and his friend, that is to make them say they specifically saw those two individuals' the night the murder was committed.  There were members of the jury that didn’t want to sit in on the case so they opted to pay a fine and got out of jury duty.  Yes, that is corrupt in it’s self.

With just this bit of information, it’s obvious that Ryan didn’t get a fair trial.  He is entitled to a fair trial under the law and constitution of the United States.  Believe it or not, he was convicted and sent away at I believe the age of 18.

The second time his case was on Dateline was last March and the show was entitled The Lost Night.  It showed the progress that has been made to help get Ryan a new trial and/or freed from prison.  His friend recanted his story. All of the eye witnesses said that they lied about their testimony and it was solely because of pressure from the prosecutor.  The case against Ryan has pretty much fallen apart. 

There has been plenty of Judicial Delay as well as politics that have played into this and this has been strung out time and time again.  Motions and Requests have been denied.  Ryan has since gotten a top notch attorney to represent him pro bono (free of cost) from Chicago, IL.  Her name is Kathleen Zellner she is notorious for getting innocent people freed from prison.

Ryan’s last chance is coming up here really soon, on April 16th to be exact.  I believe that there is a preponderance of evidence that will show he is truly innocent and was wrongfully convicted.  My personal opinion is that so much of his life was taken away from him and he has already had a trial, I think to try him again would be Double Jeopardy and that he should be freed from prison and allowed to return to a normal life. 

I have been following his case ever since I saw the first episode on Dateline.  I contacted every person I knew of and spelled out the facts as I knew them, as have a lot of other people.  Personally I got no response.  I made a small donation to his legal defense fund and had a chat with his father, who is the one working the hardest to get his son out of prison.  I have also written to Ryan but due to the amount of mail he gets, I understand why I didn’t get a response. 

I urge you to learn more about his case, look at the evidence that is there and draw your own conclusion.  I believe you will see why I am so passionate that he is innocent.  Visit a website that has all of the information you need at http://www.freeryanferguson.com/ 

Since I am starting over, I thought posting this certainly couldn’t hurt anything.  While things in my life aren’t exactly rosy, I wouldn’t want to be in Ryan’s position.  I don’t see how an innocent man can be convicted of a crime he never committed, not in the United States of America. 

Tech Tip

From time to time, I share Technical Tips on programs or things you can do to help your PC.  If you have a question, feel free to ask.  I may or may not know the answer but I will get back to you.

Recently I learned something that will help extend the life of your PC.  Now if you just bought your PC no need to do this.  If your PC is at least a year old or older then keep on reading. 

Every PC has a fan, in fact on mine there are 3.  One is on the power supply (can’t touch that).  One is on the Heat Sink and the other is just a general fan to help keep the heat down inside the case.  Ventilation is the best thing for your PC.  You ideally want to keep your machine off of the ground, even if only 1 inch.  It helps to cut down on dust.  Make sure the sides are not blocked so your machine can breathe.

Now back to the fan, powered the machine down and disconnected everything from it.  Then took it to a different area where I could work on it.  First, I blew out all of the dust with an Air Compressor, you can also use canned compressed air or if you want to be fancy and can’t stand dust (I should have done this) use a vacuum but be careful.  You need a soft brush attachment and/or a crevice tool.  Once that was done, I unplugged the fan from the Motherboard and then took out all four screws.  There is a sticker on most fans, carefully peel that off and underneath you will find an oil reservoir, use some 3 in 1 oil (be sure to use this and NOTHING else) and apply a couple drops.  Don’t use too much.  Wipe off any excess and then carefully put the sticker back.  If it won’t stick, use some tape.  Then reinstall the fan, hook up the power back to the motherboard and all is done.  This is something you need to do on an annual basis.

Why?  Well over time the lubricant that was inside the fan, will wear out with run time and heat.  The ball bearing inside the fan will then grind away and your fan will shoot craps.  All modern PC’s will shutdown if they get too hot.  If your fan does go out on you, you can pick up a new one at your local computer supply house or even Best Buy.

I did this first because I heard of the tip.  Second because my machine was making some odd noises.  I didn’t see any obvious causes and this fixed it.  It’s all quiet now except for the occasional subtle click of the hard drive.  Just like the day I brought it home some 5 years ago.  Wow, it’s been a good machine and I hope it keeps on going for a while longer.  It’s not like I can afford a new PC right now.

A few words of CAUTION.  First, if you try this your doing it at your own risk.  I’m not responsible for anything that goes wrong.  This is merely friendly advice.  If I was doing the work myself and something went wrong, that my friends would be a whole different story.  So please be careful if you do try this!

I hope that you found this helpful and that if you try it, your PC will be happier and much quieter too.  Take care and Happy Computing!

Late to bed…woke up early to rise

I mentioned in my post yesterday that Lawn Boy was coming over to take care of the grass.  Yeah he did that bright and early at 8:30 AM.  Woke me up.  For a change I was sleeping by myself but I still got up and fed the children.  I also grabbed breakfast for myself.  I took a peek outside and he still looks the same and was moving at a mile a minute.  I need energy like that!

So last night I went to turn in and noticed the boys pacing by the back door.  That means we had a visitor and sure enough an Orange Tabby.  It was beautiful.  I have never seen such a fluffy tail.  It seemed harmless until one of the cats tried to swipe at it through the glass door.  It wanted to come inside.  I just couldn’t get over how beautiful it was.  So everyone was glued to the back door, which explains why I slept by myself.  As I turned out the lights even with my door closed, I could hear the fighting in the kitchen.  I was waiting for the house alarm to go off but thankfully that didn’t happen.  When I woke this morning it was gone.  Hopefully, it found it’s way home.  Looked like it was well cared for.

I was up for a while but after an hour of Will & Grace I went back to bed for a while.  I left my door open and the cats just piled in bed with me.  No room to turn but I sure was extra warm.  My partner woke me up as soon as I was sleeping comfortably.  Damn no rest for me at all.  He was going to eat lunch it was 11, I told him I was going to sleep.

I finally got up around 1.  Lunch, which was left over chili was on the stove.  Oddly enough still slightly warm.  So I had two bowls full with cheese of course.  Then I cooled my mouth off with a Brown Cow.  I noticed that someone had gotten sick so I got out the Spot Bot and cleaned up.  That took about an hour.  I also lit a Peach Candle.  Wow that was amazing!

After all that work I just didn’t feel so good.  I had things to do but I just needed to rest.  I felt like I couldn’t get enough to drink and my sugar was off.  So I had some water and ate a cup of Chocolate Pudding.  That didn’t exactly make me feel a whole lot better but at least good enough to venture out.

I picked up the mail, nothing special there.  A reminder letter for me that I need to report in at the Unemployment office.  Magazines and junk for my partner.  Then it was off to the bank to put in my partners refund check.  Then to the pet store for fat food as I call it. 

Holy crap I walked in and noticed there was a new guy working the register.  He looked awesome.  I couldn’t wait to hurry up and get all of my items so he could “check me out”.  I intern was checking him out.  His name is Austin but he wasn’t exactly bright.  He put way too much food in bags and had a hard time getting it there, he kept dropping cans.  He also ran up each can of food separately instead of scanning the first one and then telling the register there was a multiple of cans.  So consequently I got a receipt that looked like a kids Christmas list.  One of the bosses came up front, I remember him from when he first started.  Damn he’s gay I know that for a fact and he’s got a good looking body.  Love to see him in his khakis they show off his assets really well.  Ah well time to leave the boy factory and head home.

I walked in the door there was my partner naked as a jay bird, saying he was just going to call me he was about to jump in the shower.  He was worried about me because he thought I just went to his bank.  Nope I had stuff to do!  He got his shower and I put away the cat food, fed the kids and relaxed on the couch.

As soon as I got comfortable the phone rang. I tensed up and of course it stopped on ring two.  That means it was a bill collector call.  Damn!

After about an hour my partner comes out all dressed up and says okay where are we going for supper.  I said where ever your money can afford to take us.  I know right now he doesn’t have any and that was sarcasm.  He said I thought you wanted to go out to supper.  I said yeah maybe tomorrow when you can afford to pay.  We always have the debate about where to go.  Each one of us tries to get the other one to name a place and that usually starts an argument. 

I got him to say Red Lobster or Outback Steakhouse.  I would have loved Outback but it’s more expensive than Red Lobster.  So we opted for Red Lobster.  I really wasn’t in the mood for food, much less Red Lobster.  I paid for the meal and it was okay for me.  He really enjoyed his, which is really all that matters to me.  Strange thing happened.  He got up to go to the bathroom, they sat a party of 7 behind us and before he could get back they got up and left.  No one had a clue as to why.  I know we had to wait for a bit to get someone to take our order, but a waitress was right on top of them telling them she would be with them in a moment.  Ah, well.

So here we are at home.  I have completed my job search and found and applied for two more positions.  I am up to 11 for the week thus far.  Kind of low but I will take what I can get.  We both talked on the way to Red Lobster about the Charity and the hopes that they would call.  The way I have it figured in my brain is that I’m a shoe in for the job.  However, they could find someone who is more experienced than I  and perhaps someone who is currently employed.  However, I figure either of those qualifications would probably cause that candidate to want more money and since they are a Charity I pretty much already know they aren’t going to pay a whole heck of a lot.  Two weeks will be up next Tuesday but I will probably give them until Friday before I touch base.  My partner was wanting me to reach out to them now.  I said since they gave me a time frame of 2 weeks I have to honor that.  If I call now it will be like I am nagging them.  He said yeah you are and you are also desperate and available today.  That will show them that you really, really want the job.  Maybe that might work, but everything I have read both in the past and recently has said if your given a period of time honor that and if you still hear nothing then reach out for an update.  If any of you have a different opinion, I’d love to hear it. 

That sums up my day.  I know BORING.  I’ve got no reason to wake up early tomorrow morning so I am hoping that I can sleep in a bit.  Nothing on the schedule other than hitting the post office for mail.  Hard to believe it is going to be the Weekend already.  Easter next Sunday.  Geez where is this year going. 

I believe on my last blog I set a goal to have a job by Easter, not sure if I will make that or not.  Hopefully though it would be nice.  I don’t look forward to setting a new date.

Hope you had a great day.  Let me know the best or worst part of your day.  Really, I’d love to hear from you especially if you’re a new reader.  I don’t bite, honest.  Talk with you peeps later.

Sex it Sells

For the past few days I have been working on ways to get more readers.  The simple way to accomplish this is listing your blog with search engines.  I’m talking about separate search engines from Yahoo, Google, etc.  There are some that specialize in Gay Blogs but there are many more that specialize in Gay Adult Blogs and Gay Sex Sites.

I am very happy to have all of the readers I have today, but there is always room for more.  I didn’t realize until tonight how much my other blog had taken off.  The hit counter is already in the 300 range.  That is pretty good.  However my main site (what your reading now) is only in the 70’s. 

I always new that sex was a hot item and it sold quickly.  So by having two blogs I already know that the one about Sex is by far more popular.

Being Human (Gay, Straight, Bi, Lesbian, Transgender, etc.) there is so much more to life than sex.  The odd part is that once you give in to your urges as a teenager or young adult and have sex, then it’s like Oxygen.  Meaning it becomes a requirement for living and to go without it well you can’t imagine it.

I can tell you first hand that you can in fact live without it.  Look at my situation.  I have my moments when I am ready to climb the walls but a little alone time, some porn and life is good again.  Yeah, that is pretty much my sex life.

There is far more than sex on my mind.  Sure I like looking at a hot boy/guy and I appreciate the male body.  However, that won’t pay my bills or pacify my desire for someone to hire me.  I need money.  My main worry right now is that everything is going to fall out from under me and I will have to start everything over.

Huh?  I’m confused.  Yeah, I know join the club.  What I mean is I lost my job some 17 months ago.  I thought a month or two tops and I will be back on my feet.  Now, here we are 17 months later and I’m still looking.  Most of my retirement is gone.  I am in the process of filing Bankruptcy.  I am not sure about what will happen to my unemployment come the end of April if I will just make it to the next Tier in the system, or Qualify for a State Extension or just be told I have exhausted my claim and nothing more is available.  I’m worried about loosing my car.  I mean I still have to make car payments and I have other basic living expenses.

Right now I’m riding high because I’m free from Credit Card Debt.  However, I worry about my future and what is in store for me.

From the age of a young child all the way into adulthood I have been a worrier.  I know most of the stuff I worry about is not in my control and there is damn little I can do about it.  However, when it comes to my future, I should be able to have a say, after all it’s going to affect me.

The trip today away to get pie, was nice and kind of gave me a new lease on life.  However, that is short lived.  I have serious concerns about where things are going.  I am not nor have I ever been a patient person.  I’m ready to get on with it and get back to work.  I just hope and wish I could land a decent job.  I know there has got to be one out there for me, but I don’t understand why it’s taking so long to find it.  Why I have had to go through so many hurdles and lost what I thought was a friend in the process.  To say it’s not fair is an understatement, but then again life it’s self is not nor will it ever be fair. 

Most people dream about winning the lottery, finding their perfect soul mate.  Well I’ve got my soul mate and the perfect little furry family to round it all out.  Now a decent paying job would be nice.  If that isn’t in the cards then I will happily settle for a large lottery win.  Only problem is I don’t play that often.

The other thing that I find so troubling is the way the world has changed from when I was growing up.  Being Gay or being different has been difficult for others to understand and accept.  Violence, Bullying, etc. is far worse now.  Plus you have kids bringing guns into schools and school shootings and stabbings.  Why has Violence become so normal and accepted in todays society?  It’s in video games, it’s on TV, it’s in the news.  Maybe because we are surrounded by it.  Well if that is true then we are also surrounded by people that are different than us, why can’t we accept them for who they are?  Why does growing up have to be so difficult.  Your youth or teenage years help shape who you are and what you will be.  Depending upon what kind of trauma you are exposed to it can take months to years to recover.

So in summary Sex is wildly popular because I think it’s an escape for people to help hide their problems.  Lord knows if you’ve made it this far then you understand the world is a mess.  I’m not just talking my world, I mean the world as a whole.

This post isn’t exactly as I envisioned it but I’m posting it.  I think it conveys my message, despite the fact that I babbled a bit. 

Live today as if there is no tomorrow, because one day that will be true and you won’t have a chance to look back.  Think before you act.  There are consequences to every decision you make, weight those carefully before you make a move.  Tell those people in your life that matter to you, that you love them.  Laugh often because it feels good and is a great way to relieve tension.  Tomorrow isn’t promised to us folks and I think slowly more and more people are coming to understand that.

My brother told me last night that a kid we grew up with just passed away.  He celebrated his 40th birthday last Wednesday and last Saturday he passed away.  Not sure why or how.  I didn’t know him that well but we are the same age and that scares me a bit.  It was a subtle reminder that I could go at any time, then again so could those around me.  When you stop and think about it, it’s terrifying.  When your young you think you will live forever.  If only that were true!

28 March 2012

Trip for Pie

I woke up early this morning and wished I could go back to bed.  I took care of providing breakfast for the kids and then I had a bowl of cereal.  Something new Kellogg's Cinnamon & Pecans.  It’s Cinnamon flavored Bran Flakes.  Your suppose to loose weight by eating this but I could have had the whole damn box, it was just that good!

I waited for the time to roll around and bam the first phone interview that actually started on time.  Wow, that was impressive!  We chatted a bit sounds like a decent company.  They will be forwarding my information on and it will be 2 weeks before I hear more.  Probably the local folks will want to talk with me first by phone and then bring me in for an interview.  While I like this company, I honestly hope that I have a job by the time they are ready to get back to me.

So found the house quiet, everyone was sleeping.  So I decided to lay down on the couch and two of the girls curled up with me.  Then just as we got comfy my partner got up.  We chatted a bit and then I took a nap for an hour or so.

I had a phone call while I was sleeping from a recruiter who saw my resume and wanted to talk to me about this super secret opportunity that he had.  Yeah, okay.  So I called him and sent him my current resume.  He said that his client would reach out to me directly if they were interested.  I won’t be holding my breath.

I got a quick shower and told my partner to get dressed.  We jumped in my car and stopped to get the mail.  He got his state income tax refund.  Wow that was just F A S T.  We were headed to a buffet but that was such a long drive it was quicker to go for pie.  So I made the commute to get pie.  Turns out gasoline up there was way cheaper, so I fueled up as well.  On the way back I got 41 Miles Per Gallon, not bad at all. 

On the way back we stopped off at the vet and I picked up a refill for the boys on their medicine.  I know they will be so happy.  NOT!  I had to chase Jumper down last night he didn’t want any part of his medicine.  However, Big Boy just gulped it down with no problem at all.  He is such a sweetie.

My thinking was that if we went away, we might come back to a lawn that was mowed.  No such luck.  So I called Lawn Boy and he said that he was knocking on the door this morning.  Yeah, must have been either after we left or early before I got up.  He is an early riser but the folks in this house are not.  So he is going to bring his hot body and his mower over tomorrow and take care of the lawn.  Now if it was only hotter so I could snap a shirtless photo, my collection would be complete.  Ah, well.  At least I don’t have to buy a mower and get out and fool with manual labor.  Kind of nice.  I just hope that I can afford to keep paying him.

So that’s Wednesday in a nut shell.  I was also hoping secretly that my being gone would attract a call from the charity and they would offer me the job.  Again no such luck.  So I am still playing The Waiting Game.  The worst possible game to play, especially when you are in need of a job.  I need to hurry up and get some patience right now! Smile 

Thanks as always for stopping by.  Talk with you peeps later! 

27 March 2012

Getting to know you–50 Questions

Since I have some new readers, I thought you might like to know a little more about me.  If you have a specific question, leave it in the comments you just might get an answer.

 

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last month thinking about #1 son.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Braunschweiger

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes but they are cats. No I do not have any off spring.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Yes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Blueberry Muffin Frosted Mini Wheat

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically a little bit. Emotionally depends on the situation. Mentally depends on the situation.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Vanilla

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their figure

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My figure

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I miss all of my family, including pets that I have lost over the years.

18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
I have no idea who he is and what techniques he teaches.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
White with blue trim.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A Brown Cow

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My police scanner

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, Yankee Candle Christmas Eve, Cinnamon and Italian Food Cooking.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My brother

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach House

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Don’t really do sports.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Red

28. EYE COLOR?
Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Mexican and Italian

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I can’t remember that was a while ago.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Brownie Obsession @ TGIFridays

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Allergic to both. J

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
TV for vegging out. Computer for connecting with people.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Not a book reader

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don’t have a mouse pad.

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY ANIMALS?
7 Cats

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

Laughter

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Rolling Stones

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Florida but I was only 1 year old

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I know touch tone. Really put me in a room where I can hear and dial a phone number, I can tell you each and every digit.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In a hospital.

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
In a house right here.

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
White

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
Blue

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
Sure do.

How Now Brown Cow

I woke up to find I had a Voice Mail Message this morning.  It was the Lady from the IRS.  I called her back and found out that they can’t help me because I already paid my taxes.  I found out that all they can do is get the IRS to place a flag on your account so that they don’t pursue collections.  You still accrue Interest & Penalties, they can also get you on a payment plan.  So basically the service is useless to me.  Ah, well at least I tried.  I learned something in the process, and may need to use them next year.

The collection calls are still pouring in but not quite as bad as last week.  I notice they call once or twice in the early morning.  Then maybe once in the afternoon.  Wait until about Supper Time and then the calls really start picking up.  I’m still not talking to them.  I sure hope they have one hell of a Long Distance plan because they are wracking up the charges.

We made it to the Foot Doctor and then I drove us to get a quick bite for lunch.  We stopped at a local BBQ place, was really good and cheap!  We came home and rested a bit.  I tried to take a nap but if it wasn’t the phone, it was the cats and if it wasn’t either of those two then my partner was making noise.  No rest for me.

So off to the Grocery Store we went.  I have been hungry for Chili so we picked up some meat and other things that we needed.  Came home and my partner made chili.  Felt a little odd eating Chili when it is so warm outside but it was really good.  A little too much tomato.  Every time he makes a batch it always comes out tasting different.  The best thing about Chili is that it tastes better the next day when you reheat it.  So I am looking forward to that.

Got a call today from an ad I answered late last month.  I have a phone interview tomorrow to talk with this company further.  I pulled the ad and it’s for an entry level person, so they may not be willing to pay much.  I suppose I will know more tomorrow.

The lawn is growing and our front yard looks like the Serengeti.  I’m still giving Lawn Boy until the end of the week to show up, plus there is more rain in the forecast.  However, it’s starting to look more and more like I will have to buy a mower and start cutting it myself.  So not looking forward to that.  However, we can’t wait too much longer.  So a few more days and then I may have to part with some more cash, not looking forward to that either.

A couple weeks ago I started saying How Now Brown Cow to my partner.  He said you never had a Brown Cow did you.  I said nope.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Turns out it’s an ice cream treat.  While we were at the store today he spotted a box of them and of course I had to buy them.  I just finished one and it’s basically a chocolate ice cream bar but they leave the plain ice cream showing on the bottom.  It was okay but nothing to write home about. 

So that is as exciting as thing got today.  I will have to wake up a little early tomorrow for the phone interview.  Outside of that thus far there is nothing planned for the remainder of the week.  I hope that all is going well in your world.  Thanks for stopping by, I will talk with you peeps later.

26 March 2012

Simple Change made Complicated

So I called the Phone Company this morning.  I wanted a simple change to add Call Screening to my account.  I got a foreign speaking woman who told me that it would be better to change packages because I would get all of the features I wanted as well as unlimited local and long distance calls.  She quoted me $31.00.  Wow at that price I couldn’t pass it up.

So I waited as she processed the order.  The order part was done and she came back to say she was incorrect the price was $59.00 per month.  SAY WHAT!  She wrapped up the call before I had a chance to get a word in edge wise.

So I called back.  I wanted to know the price of the Call Screening Feature by it’s self.  Seems that was a bit complicated and I got hung up on.

I called back and got someone else asked the same question.  They went through a lot of rigmarole asking questions and restating what I had already said, so they could be sure they understood me.  Huh, either you get it when I say it or you don’t.  It’s pretty simple.  Since I could see I was getting no where, I asked for a supervisor.  Then I got hung up on again. 

Now I’m about ready to kill and madder than a Honey Badger.  So I called back and spoke with yet another person.  Turns out the Call Screening Feature isn’t available in my area.  So I had them cancel the order and went back to service as it was before I called. 

Me and the phone company never have gotten along.  I always call with simple requests but their employees can’t seem to fulfill them.  I just don’t understand why.

What was really surprising to me is how quickly that order processed through.  Just a couple years ago you could call and make changes to your account and they wouldn’t process through for a couple days.  Today if you call by the time your done with the call the order has processed.  Amazing how they were able to speed things up.  Also they don’t charge those one time installation charges.  I guess since VOIP has come into play they want to be sure not to loose any customers. 

If it wasn’t for dependable service regardless of the weather, I would ditch my traditional landline phone and switch to a VOIP service.  The other thing that is holding me hostage is our house alarm.  It will work on VOIP but with my luck our house would either catch fire or be broken into when the VOIP service was down.  The Fire Department and/or Police would never know and we would be left holding the bag.  I know they make back up cellular connections but that is expensive and now isn’t the time for me to freely spend money.

My other upset of the day was at TGI Friday’s.  I knew I had a bunch of reward points and haven’t used them in a while.  So we ordered and got yummy food as well as great cold drinks.  Then I go to pay and find out you can’t redeem your points in the store any longer.  You have to go on-line and redeem them, wait for a coupon to be e-mailed to you and then bring that with you to the store before it expires.  It’s all a gimmick, they are hoping that either you forget the coupon or you forget to use it by the expiration date and forfeit your points.   I liked the old system better where you could redeem in the store, it was easier and much more convenient.  Still it was a great meal.

The mail brought me the latest edition of the Under Gear dot Com Catalog.  Who’s on the cover but none other than Mario Lopez modeling his new line of Underwear.  Super HOT.  I don’t care if he cheated on his wife he could do what ever he wanted to me, I’d be his prisoner for a day or longer!  One thing that most of us gay men have in common is this catalog, no matter where we are living we are sure that it follows us.  Even if you don’t order there are some good looking underwear models!

I finally got my bank statement and have been waiting patiently for it since I started using my debit card on a daily basis.  I was seriously afraid that I might not balance.  Sure enough I found an error.  Turns out I forgot to log one of my Unemployment checks.  So now I’m more money ahead.  I’ve never come up with a negative balance and I have never bounced a check in my life.  Those are traditions that I plan to uphold. 

On the Job Hunt I found 3 jobs that I applied for on-line tonight.  Typically Monday’s are a bust.  I know that I’m so not qualified for one of them, but applying certainly can’t hurt anything. 

So that’s a wrap for Monday.  I’m off to surf the web and see what is new with the rest of the world.  Talk with you peeps later!

MMM–Music, Men on Monday

This is a reoccurring theme that I had on my old blog.  I stopped posting Men and started a separate blog for that.  I kind of miss the theme as it originally was.  Since this is not an “adult blog”  (I’ve got an Adult Blog, see the sidebar for a link) I will be posting photos of Shirtless guys along with some music videos that I like.  I hope that you enjoy! 

3a4-62-987078434_376562478b05fb36bf7z682693

 

 

 

The last one isn’t music, but rather a bit from one of my favorite comedians.  Kathleen Madigan, she rocks!

Here’s to a great week!

25 March 2012

Babbling Away

Hi there and thanks for stopping by!

So I continued my quest to find a youth oriented LGBT site that I could list my blog, in the hopes that I could not only gain followers but possibly help someone out.  Most everything I found tonight was directed at LGBT Youth and you had to be a youngster to join.  So it looks like there might just be plenty of resources out there.

I did list my blog on Technorati, so that may help with some new traffic.  Additionally, I was able to login to my old Site Meter Account and find the Referring Pages.  Unfortunately, strike two.  Most of the sites that linked to me are still up but the blogs are no longer updated.  Ah, well at least I tried.

Last night I forgot to take my sleeping pills.  I was awake until around 4 AM.  I spent a little over an hour tossing and turning.  I felt sleepy when I jumped in bed but then I became wide awake.  I just hate that. 

So I got up around 12 noon and had Breakfast.  Geared up to to watch a Tech Pod Cast which is my normal Sunday routine.  My face with all of my stubble looked sexy but my face was itching so I shaved it all off.  The pours on my nose really give me trouble.  So I applied some Facial crème to them and let it dry.  Then I jumped in the shower and got all clean.  Put on a shirt with no sleeves and some shorts.  I’ve been comfy all day. 

Me and one of my girls (cats) took a couple naps today.  My partner fixed us a Beer Can Chicken and some Corn on the Cob.  Needless to say after that meal I needed to floss. 

Later this evening I fixed a Frozen Tombstone 4 Meat Pizza.  I’m not quite sure how I did it but I got the crust extra crispy.  That was so darn good!

I had a couple of Diet Cokes with Lime today.  Not bad.  I am just so sick of Diet Soda.  Thankfully that keeps me from drinking a bunch of it.  I know for starters soda isn’t good for the body, then moving to Diet Soda all of the junk they put in there is way unhealthy.  I do however love my water, just plain and cold water, it’s the best!  Once and a while I will switch to Raspberry Tea.

So I was watching the news the other night and they said that Tide thefts were on the rise.  Tide as in the laundry soap.  Apparently this has been well known for quite some time but just not told to the general public.  It apparently is the new currency to pay for your Illegal Drugs.  Thefts are nationwide because apparently everyone needs Laundry Detergent.  Tide is the #1 selling brand here in America.  They certainly do enough advertising but I would have never in a million years thought that someone would steal laundry soap.  Much less be able to pay for drugs with it.  The world sure is changing!

So today was the first day in a very long time that I did not use my Debit Card.  Nice to be able to hang on to some money!  We stayed home all day so that is the only reason.  I know tomorrow we will venture out for the mail.  The only thing we have going this week is a Foot Doctor Appointment on Tuesday for my partner.

We are both hoping that the Charity I interviewed with calls this week to offer me a job.  I am not overly anxious about this only because I usually wind up getting hurt.  I only had 10 contacts last week, that is the lowest number in weeks.  I hope that things pick up this week, especially if that call doesn’t come in.  I would even be happier if I was able to set up a couple interviews.

That is pretty much all I have today.  If your new reader or just curious and have questions about me, ask away.  I love comments and interacting with my readers. 

24 March 2012

Life Update

No changes to speak of, different day same stuff.  I did manage to freak my brother out today.  He called me at home just to chat.  He got a disconnected recording.  He thought maybe he misdialed so he called back again and same recording.  DAMN he was just beside himself.  He said he looked at mom and said Jeremy disconnected his phone.  Then he thought maybe I should call him on his cell phone.  He did and presto he reached me.

Since I have been inundated with debt collection calls I just forwarded my home phone to my partners old phone number that is disconnected.  It appears as if the number has been disconnected.  However, debt collectors don’t take no for an answer so they keep calling and calling until eventually they hope you break down and answer the phone.

Tonight I did some research on-line and found all sorts of horror stories about the particular number that is calling me.  Everything from plain harassment, threats telling you that you will go to jail and even death threats.  I just don’t want to get into it with anyone so I’d rather not answer the phone.  They managed to wake me up at 8am this morning and that was so not cool.  That is when I forwarded my phone and turned the ringer off.  Eventually I got back to sleep but only got a couple hours before it was time to get up and go.

Come Monday I’m calling the phone company and hoping and praying they offer Call Screening.  If so that will shut this down cold.  You enter in up to 10 numbers you want blocked and when someone calls from that number they hear a recording saying that you will not accept their call.  Your phone never rings and you have no idea that they even called.  Nice.  However, it took forever and a day to get Caller ID so I doubt that this feature is available in my neck of the woods.  Still the call won’t cost me anything.  I know that eventually the calls will get out of control.

I really only want my phone to ring for legitimist business, mostly for a job offer.  Which is why tomorrow night I will have to take the forward off or I will risk missing the important calls.

Found out that my brother quit his job.  Well he didn’t really quit he just isn’t going back.  He said they will figure it out.  He’s got an offer to start a new job it will still be 2nd shift and it pays less money but he said it’s 6 12 hour days.  So the overtime will more than make up the difference.  As if that isn’t good enough he got word that his old job that he was let go from earlier this year, might be calling him back.  They asked him if he was interested in coming back.  What he really wants is for things to go back to normal or close to that as possible.  I think going back to the place that let him go could be setting himself up for failure.  I mean he might have to go through all of this all over again.  I told him the idea is to move forward and not go backwards.  That’s why when I leave a job for whatever reason, my policy is to never go back.

My hope is that next week I will get a call offering me a job and then I can begin to move forward with my life.  It’s nice not to worry about the credit card debt anymore but the pressure of finding a job is still very much on.  Since I don’t know what will happen when my current unemployment claim expires, I would rather be employed than to find out that I am out of benefits, which is what I think will happen.  Time will tell how this plays out.

I found out mom is getting worse.  For those of you that are new here, my mom was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.  She has been in and out of the hospital.  The treatment today for mental illness is mostly medication.  However they have suggested Shock Treatments for her.  That is not something she wants.  While it sounds painful they actually knock you out and then administer the treatment, so it’s nothing like it was years ago.  There are many side effects to the treatment one of which is that you loose some of your memory.  She is skin and bones to me and just looks horrible.  She played with drugs when she was growing up and also got in with the wrong crowd.  Now it feels like her body is saying it’s payback time.  No one else in our family suffered from severe mental problems.  Depression however does run in the family.  So I said she is getting worse, she is full of anxiety but doesn’t know why.  My brother and her live together in our childhood home.  He can’t leave her alone for a second because she begs to come with him.  If he leaves without her she flips out.  I told him imagine if you start working 6 12 hour days, that will so not go over well.  However, it will force her into taking care of herself.  Right now he does everything but go to the bathroom and dress her.  I think he is way too nice and she is just taking advantage of him.  She is a very good actress and always could turn on the tears on a whim.  Shame she didn’t pursue a career in acting. 

My life is kind of a mess in more ways than one.  However, I have got to get back to work quickly.  Otherwise mother will start bugging me to cart her around and that isn’t something I really want to do nor can I afford it with the sky high prices of gasoline.  Damn it’s like everyone needs a pay raise just to be able to fill your tank. 

So how are things in your world?  If your new and have a blog let me know the address, I would be happy to exchange links with you.  Well it’s on to my regular reads and to surf the net a little bit.  Boring but a very good way to pass time, especially if I get engrossed in something.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

Young, Gay & Confused

 

ce81b3de54a42069b6e4746192a49756Off and on today I have been thinking about the young guys who are dealing with being gay.  I feel compelled to write this post, so here goes.

Most every gay adult can remember their childhood and how they came to terms with being gay.  For some of us it’s easy and others it is the last thing that we want to admit to ourselves.

Not to sound like a song but you were born this way.  Your sexuality isn’t a choice and you can’t change it.  Presuming that your gay, you can deny it and live a straight lifestyle.  However, there will always be something yearning inside of you.  You will notice hot guys and look them up and down. 

A former co-worker of mine has done exactly what I described above.  He’s married and has two kids.  He says he loves having sex with his wife.  He is very religious and even a minister.  Still I could see that he wasn’t happy.  I of course was very attracted to him but never let on that I was gay, let alone attracted.  I think he figured things out on his own.  This is how he chooses to live his life and he thinks he is happy, maybe he is.  I just know that it’s hard to keep putting up a façade.  He says his wife knows but she doesn’t get it.  He never told her that he was gay just that he is attracted to good looking men.  He gravitates toward youth and does activities with young men.  I know he wants to help them, but I am more than positive he is looking at their bodies and lusting after them. 

Now many people will tell you that being gay isn’t normal and it’s a sin, you will burn in hell and God/Jesus hates you.  All of that is pure hokum.  First, being gay is about as normal as being straight is.  Second, God/Jesus created you, if he didn’t want you Gay then you wouldn’t be.  Being Gay isn’t a sin.  Some of the things that us Gay folks do are sins.  However, straight people commit sins as well.  No one is perfect here on planet earth!

I remember growing up and knowing inside that I was different but just couldn’t put my finger on what made me different from everyone else.  I was in psychotherapy to deal with the pains of growing up and oddly enough my fear of driving.  My therapist himself was gay and we got to know each other really well.  There was no sex or sexual acts.  Just pure conversation.  One day out of the blue he told me I think your gay.  Wow, that sent me into a tirade.  I was very upset at what he said.  Why there was no way that I was gay.

I also remember telling my grandma the news.  I lived with my Grandparents because my mother wasn’t fit to raise myself and my brother.  She was kind of floored.  Most every adult I talked to said ah, your just going through growing up.  Things may be confusing but it will all sort its self out.  Your straight and have nothing to worry about.

Thinking back on things, from the earliest day I can remember saying I don’t like girls.  I always thought that.  Sure kids say odd things but I meant what I said, I just didn’t like girls.  Then there was the playing doctor with other boys.  Sure kids do this but when you are in your teenage years, it doesn’t seem all that normal.  Then it happened one day I was playing doctor with a friend and he suggested having sex.  I didn’t quite understand what he meant but in fact we did engage in sex.

I remember going back to therapy and saying that I had sex.  We talked about that and that’s when I realized and admitted to myself yeah I really am Gay.  I remember telling the guy I was having sex with that what we were doing was Gay and he said nah, it’s just two dudes messing around.  Okay call it what you want but it was Gay Sex.

There were many times when I wanted to end my life because I was so confused.  The world seemed to be against me.  I had problems at school when it leaked out that I was messing around with other boys.  I learned quickly that kids can be cruel and heartless.  I can also remember before that happened spotting a boy and just falling in love.  At the time I didn’t know what it was but I just knew I had to meet him.  I told my friends and worked with a teacher.  A meeting was arranged and we were introduced.  Holy cow, that just made my day.  Nothing happened between us, we just knew who the other guy was.  This was in Jr. High and he was older and graduated before the humiliation started.  So I can attest that growing up much less growing up gay is difficult.

Today kids have Facebook, Twitter and other Social Media.  Cell Phones are something every kid has and rumors, news and gossip can spread quicker than when I was going to school and we had to do it the old fashion way.  How?  Passing notes of course.  Bullies have been around for a very long time.  I experienced my fair share of them and even as an adult you run into them once and a while.  Some kids make fun of others because you’re an easy target, because they too are confused or having problems. 

My therapist always told me that Suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I heard it often enough that now most every time I hear the word Suicide that phrase pops into my head.  Presuming that your able to complete the act, you will no longer be subject to ridicule, humiliation, rumors, bullies and all of the things your dealing with.  However, you won’t get to experience what ever technology advances come our way.  You won’t get to eat good food and you will miss out on so much.  Not to mention think of how devastating life will be for your parents and/or siblings.  Everyone means the world to someone, even if you don’t know it.  Now think of this someone is going to find your body.  Do you really want to inflict that much pain on someone.  Sure you think it will be a specific person, but what if something changes that day and someone else finds you.  That is an image that is burned into a persons memory and something that one can never forget. 

I was always told things will get better as you continue to grow up.  I was told College would be a blast and that people would love and accept you for who you were.  If they couldn’t do that then they were not friends or people you wanted to associate with.  Well, I never went to College.  However, I did become an adult and yes I do have a drivers license. 

 

Okay, so Mr. Smarty Pants how did you manage your way through it?  I mean my world is crumbling around me and I just can’t take it!

Well I talked to my therapist.  I talked with my grandmother.  I just talked and that always made me feel better.  Maybe not right away but that and a good nights sleep, made the next day better.  When you are young (teenage years) what you perceive as your world is really not your world.  When you become and adult you will totally understand.

So I said all of that to say this.  If you have questions about your sexuality, your dealing with pressure from other kids, you feel like you want to hurt yourself to end the pain.  Please talk to a responsible adult.  Don’t have anyone?  Well your in luck there are plenty of adults and young adults at The Trevor Project that would be more than happy to talk with you.  If your in a crisis situation please pick up a phone and dial 866-488-7386 it’s a toll free call and you will find that someone who can help you. 

Before I posted this I looked for sites where I could list my blog to specifically help the younger generation.  Sadly I couldn’t find any place to list my blog.  I’m hopeful that this post is something a young guy who has some questions about his sexuality and/or needs help will stumble upon.  For me just knowing that I put this information out on the web, is satisfaction enough that I’ve taken a step to potentially help someone.

 

That’s is all well and good.  I have already accepted that I am gay and now I have questions about coming out.  Should I?  Who should I tell?  What if something goes wrong? 

Okay, all of those are good questions.  Coming Out is a continual life long process.  Sort of like always introducing yourself to new people.  It’s something that once you start, you will be repeating it many times in your lifetime.  It may always make you nervous, depending upon who you want to tell and why you want to tell them.

Personally for me, that information is on a need to know basis.  Meaning if you don’t need to know then I’m not telling you.  You can suspect, inquire but I won’t give in.  Now what works for me, may not work for you.

The first time I came out was to my grandmother.  I can remember being very nervous and telling her things were going to change and never be the same.  Well, this is news that once you tell it, you won’t be able to take it back.  So my advice is to T H I N K before you act.

So me and grandma were all alone talking and I took a deep breath and told her that I was g-gg-gay.  She responded with oh, your just confused and that is part of growing up.  I said well I’ve had sex.  She responded with WHAT!  I said I had sex.  She said okay what kind.  When I told her that I put a dick in my mouth, I thought she was going to puke.  She told me that was nasty.  Okay, so that cinched it, she knew I wasn’t kidding around, this was for real.  She told me not to ever tell my grandfather, because he would kick me out.  Then she wanted to know where this sex business took place. When I told her in my room that was just like I was pulling hair from her body.  She was outraged.  Then she countered with where was I (meaning her).  I said you were home.  Holy crap that made it worse.  Then there was the guessing the guy.  Was it x, y, or z.  She guessed most every guy that I had over to the house and even called out the specific name of the guy involved but I never told her.  I protected him because I figured that we would probably be separated or at the very least our contact would be supervised and I for one wanted to continue having sex.  Grandma wasn’t as much mad as she was just totally surprised.

That experience was nerve wracking to say the least.  I was much happier when it was over with, since she accepted me for who I was.

I told my mom and she was okay with it but acted a bit immature telling me that I should always be the TOP.  That if I wanted to be the BOTTOM I could use objects on myself.  Yeah, uh that’s just messed up.  But then again so is my mom.

My brother figured things out.  He is straight in case your wondering.

So that is my experience.  You have to decide who you want to tell, do it because you want to and not for any other reason.  I was encouraged by my therapist to tell my parents (that being grandma and grandpa).  I accomplished 1/2 of that.  Telling your parents can mean your loved and accepted for who you are OR you could be tossed to the curb.  Only you know how and when or if you should come out.  Do what your heart tells you and you won’t be wrong.  Don’t do it during an argument or to try to get even.  If at all possible, DO have the conversation in person.  Don’t send it in an e-mail or text message.  It’s far too important and you need to know how people take the news.  I am no expert and there are way more resources available on-line today than when I was growing up.  Heck the internet hadn’t been invented then!  In summary you are the best judge of who you or if you should tell.  Be prepared because things may or may not go like you plan them.  Have a plan in place if things go south.  Whether it’s moving, loosing a friend or whatever.  The best advice I can give you is to THINK.  Rome wasn’t built in a day and you have waited this long to tell them, another day or two won’t hurt anything!

I am only 40 (really) but I have been through so much in my life time.  I can tell you that if you decided to come out at work be it at a fast food place or in Corporate America THINK before you act.  Many people are fired because of their sexual orientation.  I came out at my last job, it was a very slow process but eventually I went against my own beliefs and told one too many people.  Next thing you know I got a new boss and he hates queers but he can’t say that.  So he sits and waits for the right moment and then presto I got fired.  There was a lot that factored into his decision but ultimately it was pure hatred for me and for my sexuality.  He just did it the legal way and not knowing any better and needing money I signed away all of my legal rights. 

Society as a whole today is much more accepting of the GLBT Community.  Gay Marriage on the other hand is a political battle much like abortion, the Civil Rights Movement and many other things that were made in to Federal Cases that were just simple issues.  People love to get worked up and tell you that you can’t do something.  Well, it may not be during my lifetime but trust me Gay Marriage will happen eventually, the controversy will disappear and it will be just as right as rain.  We just have to keep on fighting the good fight.

Not all of Society accepts us, but a small majority does.  Look at no more Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Gay Marriage is legal in some states and in others you can get a Civil Union.

The root of the problem is we are different, people don’t like different and they don’t understand it.  They want everyone to be the same.  Well bad news, were all created equally but we are different people.  Personalities, Fashion Choices, Political Parties, etc.  Once everyone understands that we are not all Pedophiles, We don’t want to hump every guy we see and Not all of us engage in Risky behavior.  Once all of that is realized then I believe that different will become understood and us Gay folks will be accepted.

I know this is a long post and I am about to wrap it up.  I will say it again if your in a Crisis situation, please reach out to an Adult or call The Trevor Project.  Being gay is NOT the end of the world.  It’s not an easy road but it is a road that I didn’t think I could make it and look at me I’m doing fine, with the exception of needing a job.  I am happy to talk with anyone be it a public comment conversation or a private email conversation.  You have to reach out to me.  I warn you in advance, I am not a trained professional so I don’t and won’t have all of the answers.  I can tell you things from my POV and give advice but in the end you have to make the final choice.

Thank you sincerely for reading this.  I hope it’s helped at least one person!  Good Night one and all.  Talk with you peeps later.

polls_miami_gay_pride_rainbow_flag_2_1350_250361_answer_10_xlarge

22 March 2012

They are after me

This morning my phone rang with a call from Kansas City.  I don’t know anyone there, so I didn’t answer.  No message.  About an hour later, another call no message. Around 2pm another call and this time they finally left a message.  It was as I suspected my first collection call.  I deleted the message and then decided to have some fun.  I have an old caller ID box from Radio Shack.  It gives an option for a Reject Index.  Once you add a number that has called you to the Reject Index, when they call back they get a voice telling them that you are not accepting calls from their number.  Wow, that was like swatting at a bees nest.  They started calling like crazy.  We stepped out for a bite and when we came back I see they called again but blocked caller id, all they got was voice mail.

Just because the phone rings doesn’t mean I have to answer it.  I mean its there for my convenience not for theirs.  The calls started picking up during the evening hours I forwarded my phone to my partners old phone number that was disconnected.  Of course they didn’t call back.  All is back to normal now and I’m sure they will be calling back many more times.

The funny thing is the guy said it was not a sales call and was instead a very important business matter.  Yeah, important to them because they want money.  Not important to me at all.  I am sure the letters will follow next along with those new statements that say your past due.  Like I didn’t know that in the first place.

Speaking of creditors I got the Cable bill in and paid it.  Then I decided to go hog wild and paid my cell bill (even though I don’t have a paper bill yet), Paid for the Alarm (again no paper bill yet) and then ordered my medicine from Canada.  Now I’ve got a little bit of money left over but I blew a decent amount of money.  I really hate to reconcile my bank account because it seems I use my debit card almost every day.

We have been saying we are going to have Hamburger Helper since Monday but every day we put it off and say where do you want to go to eat.  So today we went to the local bar.  Grabbed a couple salads and got the mail.  Then back home.  It was a rainy day and that cooled things off a bit.  Pollen around here is horrible.

I noticed last night we have what I refer to as the spawn of Satan.  They are like gnats that show up out of no where and now they are biting.  They only show up in the basement for now.  With a little time I am sure they will migrate upstairs.  I broke out the bug spray and gave the basement a good coating.  It smells odd down here but if it helps kill these bastards I am totally okay with it.

Once the weather clears up and we have a nice sunny day again, I will be outside with the bug spray doing the perimeter of the house.  We usually see Ants and every year we try to get a jump on them but don’t seem to quite make it.

I am all for the warmer weather with Spring and Summer but you can keep the pollen, bugs and snakes.  Ick!

So I have made my rounds to all of my regular reads letting everyone know that I’ve moved and what happened.  I have also been to a couple of gay blog search engines and listed both of my blogs.  One place wouldn’t take my adult blog because it said the site was responding that it had been temporarily moved.  That’s what Google/Blogger does.  They move blogs they are shutting down to a sandbox location where only they can get to them.  Everyone on the outside gets the sorry but we can’t find that blog message.  Tonight I went to one of my regulars and was prompted to login to Blogger.  I suppose they shut that one down or are in the process of doing so.

In the job hunt, all is quiet at the moment.  I answered a couple more ads tonight but things have really slowed down.  I have made my quota for unemployment, which is good but I really want to maximize the contact I have so I can increase my chances of getting a job.  Me and My guy talked today about the interview I went on earlier this week.  He really has his heart set on this one and thinks that I am going to get it.  I told him not to be too dead set on it.  Typically once I get that way I only have to face rejection.  I think they were really impressed by me and they are seriously considering making me an offer, but that is all speculation on my part.  I won’t know until I hear back from them.  Waiting is the hardest part of the job search.  I’m getting a little more used to it but I still don’t like it.  Being all keyed up on pins and needles just isn’t a way to live.  I also learned not to spend money counting on an offer, because if that offer doesn’t come you won’t have the money to pay the bills.  Now more than ever that is so important since I am on a cash only basis.  Not having credit does bother me but it also prevents me from falling into a trap of another mountain of debt.

Time to wrap it up here and start my night time chores.  I made it to bed last night before my partner and that is a very rare thing.  I also slept way longer than he did. Who knows what will happen tonight.  I am looking forward to watching some TV and not thinking about anything, just enjoying the company of the kids.

Have a good night.  Talk with you peeps later.

21 March 2012

Something for everyone..a long long post!

Today’s mail brought me a letter from the IRS. They have a tax payer advocate division. I wrote the President of the US along with my other elected officials last month. I explained my situation with being unemployed, having to use my savings, the huge tax bill I got this year and how unfair it was to tax and penalize people who are unemployed. It’s a time of hardship and therefore we should be exempt. Well, I was expecting a response directly from the President but instead his staff forwarded my letter off to the IRS. Apparently there must be something they can do to help me. I’ve already paid my taxes but I am giving them the information they want, I mean it certainly can’t do any harm at this point. I’ve never heard of a Government Agency giving money back once you paid, but maybe that can and will happen. I don't know. It will be a couple months before I know anything. There is probably a lot of red tape to go through.

My partner had a trip to the dentist today, he got a filling so he couldn’t eat on one side of his mouth. He wanted soup and I suggested a place that we went to last week, he jumped all over that. No gas in his truck, it was hovering above E. We made it to the gas station and I paid for gas. $60.00 total but $9.00 of that was for a car wash and for buying it I got 20 cents off per gallon. We have 14 days to use the wash, which I am sure we will do. Rain is in the forecast so no sense in doing it now. A first today when I opened his fuel door a wasp flew out. There was a small nest on the inside of his fuel door. So glad I didn’t get stung. I knocked the nest off with the gas pump. Ugh, it’s that time of year again bugs!

So off to the restaurant we went. He got 2 bowls of French Onion Soup, which is one of his favorites. I can’t stand it. I got Potato Soup and a Turkey Wrap which was really a lot of lettuce with a little turkey wrapped up. Since he was working on his 2nd bowl and I was done, I got desert. Crème Brule. It was a small portion but it was damn good. Wish I had more of it now. Anyway, he went to pay and I took his card and replaced it with mine. He was not expecting that but he was thankful.

Since I saved him so much money he said we needed to go Grocery Shopping, which is why I saved his money. However, we were both way too full so we came home instead.

Everything outside has come to life and everyone’s lawn is green. I hear a lawn mower running at least once per day. In case you’re a new reader we hire a local guy to cut the grass. He is probably all of 30 or 32 years old and very cute! I love to cut grass but my allergies are what holds me back. So we got rid of our mower. I’ve been paying this guy for a couple years. I really like looking at his bum, even if he is straight. He just had a baby and I am expecting him to raise prices. I know he will be knocking on the door any day now, I hope that prices stay the same but with the cost of gas I don’t know. I won’t be able to pay him too much more that is until I get a job. The plan is to wait him out and if he decides to raise prices too high then I will buy a mower and sneeze myself to death, but at least I will save money. Right now it won’t be too bad, but in the dead of summer it will be horrible and a task that I loathe much like grocery shopping.

I got a call last night from a friend who asked me what does it mean if your Blood Sugar is 1,000. I said probably that your meter is broken. I heard nope that’s not it. I said well then it’s time to visit the hospital and quickly. Turns out it was a relative of hers. That person was at their doctors office and the reading came back, the doctor sent her to the hospital. It was totally amazing that she was lucid, walking and talking. She is in critical care doing okay. She will be on insulin for the rest of her life. Turns out she is a very sick person, with many medical problems.

I was diagnosed in 2010 with Type II Diabetes and put on oral medication. I watch what I eat a little bit but I have to have my sweets in moderation. I drink a lot of water and some Diet Soda. I never knew you could get sugar readings that high. I know blood sugar is nothing to play with. Diabetes does really screw with your body and can mess you up in more ways than one. I have lost some weight but if I exercised, watched my diet more closely I could probably get to a point where I stopped the medication. However, I am not that motivated. I am scared of the disease. My hope is that once I get a job there will be some physical activity there and that will help me to get in better shape.

From time to time I like to write about hot guys. That’s where I’m headed now. Last night we ate at Arby’s because my partner wanted to try their Ruben. I caught this kid out of the corner of my eye picking up trays. I say kid he was probably 18 to 20 years old. Damn he was fine. He knew I was looking him over. I think it made him nervous. We got our order and I sat in a seat where I had a good view of him. He went behind the counter and then he started bending over and showing me his butt. Oh my. I wanted to make a move right there but I always figure one that my judgment of age might be off and two he might not be gay. So I just drooled and ate my food. Then another hottie came in and changed clothes into his work uniform in the bathroom. Makes me wish I had to go. He wasn’t as cute as the 1st guy but either one of them could have rocked my world.

So Jeremy you have a partner and your looking at other guys and even thinking of having sex with them? What is wrong with you?

Relax, I will explain. First of all I think that all guys eyes wonder regardless if your gay or straight. The same might apply to women as well. Back around 2002 he was discovered to have Rectal Cancer. To cure him they had to do surgery and that meant he was left with a Colostomy and now he has no anus. They removed a lot of stuff during that surgery. A side effect of the surgery is that he can no longer get and/or maintain an erection. Regardless of how much Viagra or Cialis you give him it’s physically impossible due to the surgery. However, he still plays with it and tells me it feels erect. Considering his Stoma is close to his penis, the thought of sex is a turn off for me.

We still have a sex life, if that is what you want to call it. He takes care of me and that gives him satisfaction. However, I can’t please him enough. He is, was and always will be a super horny guy. You would think he was a teenager sometimes the way his hormones act. He is several years older than me and even age doesn’t stop him!

With all that has happened he understands how I feel and I’ve been given permission a long time ago to go find someone. He even talks about finding someone for me from time to time. I’ve lasted this long by watching porn. While I obsess over guys that I see out and form crushes, I can go from guy to guy. There was only one guy who was a waiter at a local restaurant back in 2005 that I fell in love with at first sight. He knew I was interested in him but he was so not interested in me. It got to the point that when we would come in, we would get sat where he didn’t have to wait on us or if we got his section he would ask co-workers to cover our table. My partner knew all about him but despite the treatment we kept going back because I wanted to see him.

The thought of going at it with another guy really turns me on but actually doing it I think would prove disastrous to my relationship with my partner. I mean some folks can do one night stands but I don’t think I am one of those people, even thought you wouldn’t know it by the way I talk. Sex changes everything and doing it with someone other than my partner I think would cause more problems than it would solve. I honestly do wonder sometimes if I will ever do it again.

After something becomes your norm, you get used to it. So sex for me is a bit of a problem but I honestly have bigger issues (no pun intended) to deal with. Namely getting back to work and watching my money.

So another worry since I’m talking about it is the death of one of our cats. I refer to him as Big Boy, he is a 35 pound domestic cat. He stopped eating for a while in 2010 and went into Liver Failure. We poured money into him like you would not believe. The vet wasn’t optimistic but they cured the Liver Failure issue. He developed an Idiopathic Thoracentesis, which causes fluid to build up in his lungs. He has problems breathing and every so often we have to go get the fluid tapped out. Originally the thought process was this was cancer but tests proved that was no the case. Today he is on steroids and I give him a nutritional supplement called Rutin. The prognosis was maybe we would get a year out of him, but expect very little. Each time we take him back the vet says, wow he is still alive! Yeah.

The steroids have contributed to him gaining weight. He looks very swollen and has some issues with walking. Plus to move around can tax his breathing. He usually gets all worked up in the litter box and winds up stressing himself out and breathing really heavy, from his mouth. I have to calm him down and make sure he gets back to normal. Plus due to his size he can no longer bathe himself. So he takes care of the front (his paws, face and ears). I take care of the back and while my bathing him is not his favorite thing, he is thankful that I am taking care of him.

Big Boy is the sweetest cat you could imagine. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. When he was younger he used to play with his brother. They are inseparable, even to this day. His brother knows he is sick and takes care of him. Plus they do play together from time to time. Mostly it’s a cats life of eating and sleeping.

Euthanasia or putting him to sleep is an option that I have pondered but it is something that we can’t bring ourselves to do. He still has life left in him. He’s not messing all over the house, he knows enough to use the litter box and he eats on his own. Pretty much a normal cat. I know this fluid problem has taken years off his life and that eventually he will either die on his own or we will be backed into a corner and have to end his life.

Earlier in 2010 we had to put down our first cat that I refer to as #1 son and we were determined not to loose another cat. Death is the worst part of pet ownership, it’s the worst part of being human. I don’t understand why anything has to die and I’ve got problems dealing with death. Death enters everyone's life sooner or later. The longer you can put off being exposed to it the better equipped I think you are to process it.

Okay so I’m starting to depress myself and I’ve already typed way too much. So I will just bring this to a close. I know a lot of what I typed is repeat information for my regular followers, but part of the pain of starting over is bringing everyone up to speed. Talk with you peeps later. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blather!