And that makes 3

I just learned that Lane Rogers (aka Blake Mitchell) passed away from a motorcycle accident that occurred on Monday.  He was 31.  If the name doesn’t ring any bells he was a porn star.  He started in the porn industry young with his first job at Helix Studios.  He was well endowed, had a great smile and from what I’ve read on-line a great person.  He provided me many orgasms over the years.  I’m sad to hear that another young person is gone.

For me this makes 3 people that I knew of and was fond of that have passed.  It started with Scott Finn (another porn star) who took his own life, then I learned that a former co-worker took his own life earlier this year and now Lane.

I hope that we are done now.  I hate to hear of anyone passing away regardless of the cause but a young person passing is especially bothersome to me.    

May they all Rest In Peace.

Finally reached the end

I am finally about to cross the finish line for the week. What a week it’s been. Today is the calmest day that It’s been all week long. I also hope that I didn’t just jinx myself. This is the first week I didn’t pause for a nap at all. I’ve just been that busy!

Still thinking about the young guy, I used to work with that committed suicide. I can’t imagine what demons he was fighting with. It makes me wish that I would have reached out to him to at least make my feelings known. Not seeing any notification about his passing at work, I reached out to a manager today to let him know. Turns out it was already known and the word was spread locally in the office he used to work in. This morning trying to compose that email and looking at his face in his obituary just led me to sob. My feelings for him were strong but moreover it’s the fact that he was only months from his 30^th birthday. I wish that he was still here and am having a hard time accepting that he is gone.

Continuing down that same path, I thought of his mom. While I don’t know if he participated in our 401K, but if he did and he designated his parents as beneficiaries they could be owed some money. It’s one of those things that might not have been thought of. Also, each year a ton of unclaimed property & money is surrendered to each state in the US because the owner can’t find the recipient. I googled his state along with the words “found money” (example, CA Found Money). That led me to his state’s website, and it turns out they have some money in his name. I found his mom on social media and reached out to her to express my condolences and to alert her about the 401K as well as the fact that the state has unclaimed money owed to her late son. I like to be helpful and really wish that I would have had someone guide me when I was navigating the journey with the loss of my spouse. I hope that gives her some comfort. While I know money won’t replace him nor bring him back, it’s better for his parents to have it than letting it just vaporize. Now I know I’ve done all I can.

You don’t have to be dead to have a state holding money or property in your name. A blurb appears in the news usually once per year about unclaimed property. Search your name on your state’s official treasurers page, you might be surprised. If you want to go the extra mile you can search for family and friends as well and if you find something, let them know. I search periodically for my late mother, my late spouse, myself as well as my brother. I’ve also found money that was given to my mom. My brother and I were able to make a claim and get the money.

Last night for supper I had a Turkey Pot Pie. Had to buy Turkey because the store was all sold out of Chicken. Anyway, I thought it would be the same thing but with Turkey. Turns out this one had one tiny carrot and tons of peas, not what I was expecting at all. It was still good though.

I’m thinking about making the last Tombstone pizza that I have, I plan to get a couple more while I am off to have them on hand. Going to look for the next episode of Heated Rivalry. If all goes according to plan, it should be a nice evening.

It’s going to be cold tomorrow in the 20’s but Sunday we are down to single digit temperatures, so extra cold. I don’t know if I will get out tomorrow but maybe just for food and mail. I do have plans to sleep in, despite being on-call. I will hear the phone if it rings. Kind of feel like I am getting sick. I woke up coughing this morning from drainage that I call sinus soup. It’s certainly something you don’t want at all but certainly not on an empty stomach. Took some extra allergy meds and right now things seem to be calm. Then again, I am upright and not laying down.

Today marks a sad anniversary for me. 3 years ago, I lost my Gator. I remember how bad I felt and how I just didn’t want to go on. I couldn’t imagine life existing without her. Then a month later I wound up with Rudy and Mora. Not exactly sure how I made it a full month, that is kind of a blur. Rudy and Mora are my anchors that keep me grounded. They need me as much as I need them. Once they both pass that is going to present a problem, but who knows where I will be in my life. If I’ve done my math correctly, I will be much older. Only time will tell. I still very much miss Gator; you don’t spend 18 years with an animal and just magically forget them. I not only miss her but all her siblings, the strays we had and of course my late spouse. The upcoming holidays are for sure a difficult time for me. I hope that all my departed cats as well as my late spouse are resting in peace. I think they all know that I miss them.

I’m sure you’re probably wondering what plans I have for my “vacation”. Honestly, nothing more than getting a haircut followed by a decent shampoo & scalp massage, some vehicle maintenance and having lunch with a friend. I’d like to work on this place and clean up some of the clutter that has accumulated over the years. Plus enjoying some naps and food. A trip to the alternate grocery store to get more Tombstone Pizza! I know that it’s 2 full weeks but it’s going to be over and done within a flash. The part that sucks is I need to babysit work with EOY coming up so I will need to check in periodically. I am not mandated to do it, but it will make my life easier so I shall.

Hope you have a great weekend. Stay warm and be well. Thank you so much for stopping by!

Details

Deeply bothered by the news I learned yesterday evening about a former co-worker and crush of mine.  Curiosity got the best of me and I looked into trying to get a copy of his death certificate.  Turns out not every state is FOIA friendly when it comes to death certificates.  Telling me I can’t have something when I want it, is just motivation for me. 

I found his mom on Facebook last night, just browsed her profile.  I actually started to write her and then realized that I would probably come off as a creep, it probably wouldn’t make me look good.  I aborted that idea. 

Rudy and some truck or a gust of wind woke me up around 5a and I’ve been up ever since despite only getting up to use the bathroom.  I finally gave in to the biscuit maker and got up close to 6:30a.  He was pleased and I couldn’t get food in front of him fast enough. 

I got a couple difficult issues I am working through at work.  One of them required me to do some digging this morning and I found a work around for the person.  The other one is me waiting on the person to get back to me. 

Anyway, I had another idea how I could potentially glean some information that turned out to kind of be a waste, but I just sharpened my web search skills a bit.  Found his boyfriends social media and I got my answer that I really didn’t want.  He committed suicide.  I got the inside scoop and it was graphic.  Turns out his boyfriend is actually only a year older than me, if the results in the web search are accurate.  I honestly feel like calling his boyfriend and am seriously pondering that.  For some reason it feels more right to me. 

I’m just full of emotion right now and know that I need to take a breath before I do anything.  Trying to work and ponder this is proving difficult but work is keeping me busy!

Hope your day is moving along with nothing but good news.  Stay warm and take care!

Older than I thought

Morning & Happy Friday!

I’ve seen lots of people posting their Spotify Wrapped.  Normally I get an email when it’s ready but nothing this year.  I opened the Spotify app and mine was there waiting for me.  Something new this year is they rate your age based on the music you listen to.  Apparently I am 62.  That shocked me.  I got into Bob Seger a bit more this year, just thinking about my mom.  He was one of her favorite artists and I discovered some of his music that was new and appealed to me.  This was the second year in a row that Charlie Puth wasn’t my top listened to and favorite artist.  I think and hope that next years Wrapped will show him at my top artist but only time will tell. 

Speaking of Charlie, I forgot to mention that he’s singing the National Anthem at the 2026 Super bowl.  That should be interesting.  He’s also hosting New Years Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest.  He’s got a new album due out in March, which I look forward to hearing.  I’m still very much a huge fan of Charlie’s.  He’s got a special place in my heart. 

Music is a common bond that we can share with others.  It can change, alter or enhance mood and I honestly don’t know how I could get through this life without it. 

I’m watching a series new to me on Netflix called Brockmeyer.  It’s very funny and interesting.  It’s about a baseball announcer and his life, he’s a screw up but it’s interesting to follow. 

I have heard about a new Gay Hockey Drama series on HBO that is pretty good.  It’s a weekly series and there is apparently some hot steamy gay sex scenes that are pretty explicit.  I haven’t watched yet but it’s on my list.  I hate coming back for a weekly series like that I like to binge watch. 

Work yesterday was kind of a long day, not a lot going on and just watching a computer screen.  Helping out when I wanted to.  A couple things came my way but it’s slow right now.  Today will be pretty much the same I believe.  I’ve got one dumb meeting to attend that will be a gab fest of my boss yapping just because he loves the sound of his own voice.  I could miss the call if I wanted to but I think that might lead to more questions so I’ll go despite not wanting to. 

Had pizza that I baked in my own oven last night.  It was store bought but for frozen pizza it was pretty good.  I still have a few pieces left over that will probably be lunch.  Thinking of having some Buffalo Chicken tonight to change things up.  Just loaded up the fridge last night with Sprite Zero so in my mind that pairs perfect. 

Worked on getting the trash together so all I need to do today is take the barrel out to the end of the street, that’s an afternoon task because it will be a bit warmer but not by much. 

Rudy got me up an hour early today.  Good thing because the internet was down.  Not something I like to see in the morning but it provided me with some extra time to reboot the modem and try to get my phone connected to my desktop computer.  Thankfully my home connection came back up and it’s been solid for a couple hours so hopefully it will stay that way. 

I hate to include this but it’s just something I am having a hard time dealing with.  Scott Finn’s death really bothers me.  It’s mostly because he was so young, death in general is something that I have a hard time dealing with.  However, when it’s a young person that bothers me even more.  I didn’t know him beyond his screen porn performances but he sounds like quite a great guy.  Really wish that he was still here.  Sounds like he could have used someone to talk to.  Based on what I see from his obituary he was very loved and his very much missed by a lot of people.  While all signs from what I have seen and read point to suicide being the cause of this death, there still has been no official confirmation of that.  It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  It’s tough to see that when your going through something.  I only know that because I’ve been in that situation multiple times in my life.  I’m kind of glad that I stuck around so many good things have happened both with Technology and my life that I would have otherwise missed. 

Hopefully that wasn’t too depressing I just had to let it out.  It helps to talk even if I am just typing and sending it into hyperspace.  I plan to enjoy today as well as the weekend.  Not looking forward to being back on-call but this time next week.  I’m looking forward to my time off.  Already got a shopping list going for Sam’s Club.  Thinking about restaurants that I’d like to visit and looking at new vehicles.  I don’t know that anything will ever quench my new car fever but it is fun to look online.  Some places make it look like they are giving you a great deal but I am not a fan of car dealers.  I know I’m not alone there lots of people dislike them. 

Have a great weekend, enjoy some good food, watch a movie or TV show.  Do something for you!  Relax, you’ve earned it.  Take care and stay warm.  Thank you for stopping by!

Scott Finn

Yesterday I posted about the death of adult star Scott Finn.  It was difficult to find any information yesterday morning but by late evening I was able to find his obituary, which you can view here …https://www.providentfuneralhome.com/obituaries/rhett-douglas-messerly 

It really made it worse for me, when I found out that this young man was only 27 years old.  I alluded to the fact that he committed suicide and while that sounds plausible, there has been no official announcement of that by any public official or his family.

What I know is that he announced a while back that he was getting married.  Earlier this year he announced that he was divorced.  He apparently had a hard struggle with that and his life since then was difficult. 

It’s no secret I’ve had my struggles with life, I think it’s just part of being human.  You’ve probably had your struggles as well.  Life isn’t exactly easy and a bed of roses all the time, we all will have problems there is no escaping that fact. 

It just really bothers me that such a young person who seemingly had so much life and brought so much happiness to many is gone.  Sure I only came to know him as a porn star and he did a great job and was attractive to me.  However, behind that persona was someone’s son, brother, uncle and friend – a human.  It’s sad to realize that he is gone at such a young age. 

His funeral is today (December 4th).  I wish I was closer in proximity as I would certainly attend to pay my respects.  I feel sad for his family and friends.  I know that he will be missed. 

While tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us, I hope that you will agree with me that parents aren’t supposed to bury their children.  Death at any age is difficult to cope with but it’s worse when it’s at such a young age and there was so many possibilities that could have unfolded and his life could have gotten better.

Not that I expect his family or friends will see this post but I still express my deepest sympathies.  Rest in Peace Rhett “Scott”. 

Hot Summer Day

Well, Monday is behind us.  Hope it wasn’t too bad for you.  Mine was actually okay.  It wasn’t a super busy day but there was some work to be done.  By 3:30p I was able to head up and get logged in from my laptop to keep a watch on things at work.  Thankfully, nothing surfaced and my day was done. 

My YouTube feed is a little jacked up but it’s slowly working it’s way back to normal.  Search for one thing and watch one video and the algorithm thinks it found a new interest of yours so it rearranges things.  Anyway I saw a 20/20 Episode that looked appealing so I tuned in.  Not sure if your familiar with the case of Blaze Bernstein, he was murdered in 2018 by a classmate because he was gay (and also Jewish).  The story started off and I was like yeah I remember this.  Then I saw more recent updates for how the case turned out.  His killer was convicted.  Technology helped to solve the case more specifically Snap Chat as well as cell phone tracking.  It was still heartbreaking to hear the details play out and I felt so bad for Blaze and his family.  He died a horrible death and based on what I know from watching a lot of crime drama, his classmate was more than likely in love with him.  Poor kid just entered college and had his whole life ahead of him. 

After that was done I wasn’t sure of what to watch.  Wound up watching a if you grew up in the 70’s video.  They talked about some familiar things like Fruit Stripe Gum, Orange Tupperware, Iron on Patches, and TV Stations signing off for the night among other things.  It was interesting and made me wonder if my brother kept the Tupperware we grew up with or if he threw it out.  That was some good stuff and we ate a bunch of meals served in Tupperware.  Ah to be young again. 

The cats were extra hyper last night.  I fed them supper early and got my supper early as well.  I figured that would calm them down but it only served to rev Mora up.  She goes nuts in the time that lapses between supper and treat time.  She bugs me and does her level best to grate on my last nerve because she knows if she does that I will give in and they get treats early.  Well, it worked and then they both were out like lights but not before having some playtime of their own chasing each other around the house.  They both have a birthday coming up next week and I am already talking to them about it. 

I started feeling a little more lousy as the evening wore on and I was really dreading waking up this morning because I figured that I would be ill.  However, I turned off the ceiling fan, slept pretty good and woke up feeling okay.  I think there is still some bug in me but it’s working it’s way out.  I will be turning the fan off at night, that is normally what gets me.  I slept with it on for a month and no issues which is why I figured that I out grew that but apparently that’s not the case. 

I’ve got 3 days of interaction with my boss and I am not thrilled about that at all.  We have meetings today and tomorrow.  Then our useless check in call on Thursday afternoon, which is a waste of time.  However, I hope that maybe he has information on my pay raise, fingers crossed.  It’s about that time where we get that information.  Although in years past we have had to wait until mid to late July.  I’m only working for the money like most people. 

Grass crew showed up and mowed the lawn.  I haven’t gotten a bill from them in months and when it finally hits it’s gonna be big.  Thankfully I have money set aside automatically each month so I don’t miss it.  I like to settle my bills as quickly as possible I don’t like things lingering.  Don’t get me wrong I hate sending money out the door but I am so thankful that I have it to send.  I remember the rough times where I had to scrimp and hold my breath and barely squeaked by.  I much prefer not having to worry about it. 

Another hot summer day as time marches on.  I just think in a few months how cold it will be outside and we will be wanting it warm again.  Shame we can’t have it just right where it’s comfortable for everyone year round – the power company would hate that.  Just imagine though not having to use heat or ac on a regular basis, sounds like some kind of utopia to me. 

Thanks for stopping by, hope all is well.  Take care!

Sextortion

I commented on a blog a short time ago giving some advice regarding Sextortion.  I am posting an edited version of my comment here in the hopes the advice will be of help and/or can maybe prevent someone from falling into this trap. 

1. It’s best not to pay any ransom and to involve law enforcement. There is no real assurance or guarantee the threat actor won’t publish your information, presuming they have it. 

2. Block the person’s screen name in the app your using and if you have exchange phone numbers, block their phone number so you aren’t continued to be bothered. If your using an app to communicate, report the person on the app.  If they did this to you, chances are good they did it to someone else as well. 

3. If you want to cruise/date I would suggest getting a second phone number just for that purpose and not to ever give out your real phone number and perhaps withholding his last name. Similarly I’d get a second email account for cruising/dating purposes.  There are still a lot of good and honest people in the world, the problem is it's really challenging to find them.

One rule of thumb I have is not to take nudes ever. Because once it's out there it lives forever and you never know when that might come back to bite you. I realize the thrill of sending nudes but if your going to send them at least wait to get to know the person and be certain that you can trust them.  You might not care about it but if you think about it that nude can be weaponized and used against you, that’s why no matter what I just don’t take them.  It’s your body and totally up to you, just keep in mind that it can come back to haunt you.  

It's really sad when some folks fall into this "trap" especially teenagers.  Some teenagers have not seen a way out and sadly have wound up taking their own life.  Parents are people and some like others are more understanding.  Only you know your situation best.  I think that if it comes down to your personal safety versus coming out/being exposed.  Better that you tell your loved ones that your gay than take your own life.  It’s not worth that and so many parents wished that their child / family member would have just told them.  That said, I realize that some folks don't accept gay people but at the end of the day you have to live your life for you!  After all it's your life and you deserve to be happy and your authentic self.  It’s all about being comfortable in the skin your in.  Once you are, it’s the best feeling in the world! 

Best tip ever … if your gut is telling you something isn’t right, listen to that and do not ignore it!!  Better safe than sorry.  Also, always operate with caution in mind.  I realize hormones get carried away and you want to drop your guard or forget about common sense.  I’ve been there and know first hand it’s not as easy as it sounds.  

A huge tip off that something is wrong is often Threat actors (aka that person you’ve been communicating with) will start on an app but then put on pressure to move off the app for "convenience sake" or provide some other excuse. This is so the app has no knowledge of what they are doing and when/if you choose to report them they have either moved on to a different screen name or there is very little data that shows any kind of violation of the TOS (Terms Of Service) of the app. Always stay on the app for safety sake. 

An additional step you can take is to use a service to get your personal information off the web.  Data brokers post your personal information to the web and it's next to impossible to combat this alone. It's like a game of whack-a-mole as soon as you get your information deleted from one site, it pops up on another. There are several services that will scour the web for you and do this on your behalf. You of course have to pay them for this service. Personally, I use several companies as I find that one just isn't enough unless you go for top tier service plans but the cost that I have seen is typically thousands of dollars.  Yearly or monthly affordable options are offered by most companies and some suggestions on services are... Delete Me, Incogni, Aura, Optery and Easy Opt Out.

A recent development, Google will also help for free by removing some search results, check out this link for more info…https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/12719076?hl=en
Understand that while the search result won’t appear in Google it can appear in other search engines and/or it’s still available on the web just not readily linked for easy access. 

Disclaimer … This is just personal advice that I have come across over the years.  None of the companies mentioned are sponsors.  I am not an expert in this field but have had one bad experience that I could see was going south quicker than anything.  Another tip off is if you get long emails that drone on and on.  It’s probably a scam and the person will eventually wind up asking you for money.  Believe it or not there are kits the threat actors buy that have those emails scripted out, so they just copy and paste. 

Not again

Yesterday was quite a busy Monday.  Things were going really well in the morning.  After lunch is when things really picked up.  I saw yet another long time co-worker get let go.  We had a few interactions but I wasn’t terribly close with this person.  It is a surprise but it also reminds me of what I heard when I was a kid.  That is no matter who you are, everyone is replaceable.  That’s a tough fact to swallow.  I’ve found that usually when people loose sight of the fact they are replaceable is when they are replaced.  As much as I complain about certain aspects of my job, when the end comes for me I want it to be because I quit or retired.  I want it to be of my doing and not because I was staring down a barrel of being given an ultimatum of quit or be fired.  Seeing long time people either be fired or abruptly quit is very sobering for me and causes some anxiety.  I just have to remind myself that I am okay and to keep on moving forward. 

Last night we had a stink bug on the living room ceiling.  I’ve got cathedral ceilings.  Mora happened to notice it and she just jumped up on the couch and looked up.  She watched it even as I set out supper for the cats and went onto get food for me.  She was quite diligent.  Of course the moment she took her eyes off of it the damn thing disappeared.  It did resurface and I got it.  Wouldn’t you know it happened while I was holding her and it just popped out next to us.  Her eyes got real big and that’s how I knew she found it, I just followed her eyes and presto.  Finally it’s gone.  Good to know that Mora is so attentive to notice something small as a bug.  I’m quite sure if I wasn’t there to supervise she would have eaten it but not before playing with it. 

My dinner last night was a Holiday Meal for one from the grocery store.  Ham with a pineapple glaze, Cheesy Potatoes, Green Beans and a roll.  They put in Cranberry’s but I can’t stand them so out they went.  Rudy was my new best friend and didn’t want to leave myside.  He begged and begged.  I honestly thought about giving in for a brief second but then I reconsidered and chased him away.  It was a damn good meal.  The pineapple glaze is what makes it for me.  I’ll be getting another one of those when I go back over the weekend.  They usually have them until the New Year starts.  I don’t like hot ham though.  What I did was warm the glaze up and dip the ham in it. 

I was saddened to learn of yet another school shooting, this time in Madison WI.  What shocked me was that the shooter was a girl.  I can’t ever recall hearing about a girl shooting anything up, but maybe I’m wrong on that.  Anyway the whole thing is a tragedy.  Every time one of these events takes place everyone says we have to do more.  However, the issue looses focus and we go on with our lives until the next one happens.  Actions speak louder than words.  I honestly don’t know that this problem is ever going to go away or that there will be a solution put in place that solves the problem.  I feel like most of it comes down to education getting parents to lock up their guns and to never give put a firearm in the hands of a child unless they are supervised.  However I think never putting a gun in a kids hands is probably the best solution.  Educate them when they are older like in their 20’s.  Meanwhile let them live their lives as kids should and grow up. 

There is never a good time to loose a loved one, especially a child but so close to Christmas just puts extra suck on it.  That forever changes the holiday for all that were affected by this.  They will remember it for years to come and I’m sure for at least one or more of them it ruined the holiday for them. 

On a different note I spent my evening watching YouTube videos mostly about the making of movies like Home Alone and Planes, Trains & Automobiles.  Didn’t know that Planes, Trains & Automobiles had a bunch of footage cut from it, so much so that the cut footage I heard is longer than the abridged version of the movie that was released.  It would be quite interesting to see the whole thing unedited.  I’m sure if we saw all movies without editing that would change our opinions about them. 

Well here we go with Tuesday.  Thus far it’s starting off calm but that can all change in the blink of an eye.  Here’s hoping it’s a good day for all of us.  Wouldn’t it be nice to turn on the TV and listen to the news just once to hear nothing but good news.  I think that would have a profound affect on the world. 

Take care, stay warm and be well!

M O N S T E R S - The Menendez Brothers

This is about the series on Netflix.  I’ve watched all but the last 3 episodes of the story.  The sad part about this is that I don’t know that we (the public) will ever know the actual story and we have to rely on the brothers as to how this played out.  From what I’ve seen both parents were abused as children either verbally/mentally and/or physically or both.  I think they should have never reproduced.  The problem seems to be that when one is abused as a child that just passes a torch and the cycle of abuse continues.  The parents take it out on the kids, the family as a whole is abusive and even strangers can feel it. 

Having said that, I understand the kids wanting to kill their parents.  I think that every kid at some point might think about it.  However, actually doing it is a whole other thing.  It would have been far better for the kids to just up and leave.  However, they were tethered to their parents and the wealth and lavish lifestyle they had.  Money can’t buy happiness, it can make life more comfortable & enjoyable but at the end of the day I think this whole family was miserable. 

The parents did a horrible job raising these two kids.  Their marriage should have ended when the affair(s) started.  The mother should have stepped up when she knew her husband was molesting the kids.  The kids should have not remained silent and reported the molesting as well.  I realize that I can say all of this as hindsight and it’s apparent to me.  However, it’s another thing entirely to be caught up in the actual event.  There is plenty of fear be it of being believed or retaliation. 

I found myself pulled in deeper and deeper the more I watched.  It was tough to just stop knowing there was 3 full hours left to watch and I do look forward to finishing this series today. 

Needless to say I had really messed up dreams last night and didn’t sleep the best.  Having been abused as a child, bullied and just had a general rough time with life, I can empathize and understand a lot more than someone who has no experience with abuse. 

My cat Rudy knew I was having a horrible time and he came to sleep with me, resting on top of me to let me know it was all okay.  I really appreciated that and it made me feel quite comfortable.  Not as good as snuggling next to a human but it’s as good as it gets for me. 

If your wondering if you should watch this, as long as you can stomach the subject matter knowing full well of what is ahead then I’d say yes, it’s a must watch.  If you need a sample just check out the trailers for the series that should help you make a decision. 

It really is a tragedy that this whole incident occurred, it was entirely preventable and I think it’s a conclusion that the parents never envisioned or thought of.  You can only beat up (mentally & physically) on someone for so long but if you keep it up eventually everyone has a breaking point.  That is to say a point in time where they say no more, they snap and either do something rational or irrational.  I do think that society as a whole has learned from this but that’s not to say it couldn’t all play out again today, perhaps not in the same fashion. 

The one problem that I’ve noticed with anyone who commits a crime large or small they feel compelled to tell someone and that is what winds up getting them caught.  Loose lips sink ships.  The kids should have never allowed their shrink to record their therapy sessions that was certainly a large nail in their coffins.

The whole situation is just sad.  It’s some good TV just unfortunate that it’s a true story.   

Catchup Time - Two & Half Days

Friday … This day for sure didn’t start the way I wanted it to, with the news about Riley Strain’s body being discovered. I was really absorbed and invested into this case as I know a lot of people were. I wanted to help in someway but thought that if I made the trip that they would be looking for 2 people instead of 1. I saw the press conference with his parents and the United Cajun Navy. I also saw the vigil they held at 7pm. Looks like Green was his favorite color as his family was wearing this at the press conference. That’s a nice tribute. They have a long road ahead of them. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children.

The Chief of Police indicated early in the morning when the news was announced that they may have a preliminary result from the autopsy towards the end of the day on Friday, but that didn’t happen. I know that the Medical Examiner has to complete this before the body is released to the family. That could be a couple days but I do suspect given what has transpired there is some pressure to fast track this. Toxicology results could take up to two months before they are available. The parents deserve answers in order to have some sense of closure and allow their wounds to heal. While I and others expected the outcome would be what it was, I had hope against hope that it wouldn’t end the way it did. So many unanswered questions.

Speculation has already begun about potential lawsuits from this. I have doubts if Riley’s family will bring any litigation on this. I do understand that when you lose a loved one that it is natural to want to blame someone. I’d say they are well within their rights if they want to bring something but it means having to go back to TN and my best guess says that they will probably want to avoid that state now at all costs, given what has occurred. This is just my opinion and I’m not an attorney.

Since I’m giving an opinion, I would be remiss if I didn’t voice that I think the PIO (Public Information Officer) for Nashville Metro Police is a complete dick. To his credit though he gets right to the point and there is no beating around the bush. I just dislike how he cuts things off quickly and doesn’t seem to have a personality.

On the work front it was a semi quiet day. My boss signed me up to get a Windows 11 machine to test out. Were converting to that I believe late this year or early next year. They are using it with no overlay so it’s truly Windows 11, which is drastically different than Windows 10. Come October 14^, 2025 that’s the official end of life date for Windows 10. There are some options available to continue support and the experts right now say don’t worry or focus on that date. Personally, I am not right now. I am beyond pleased with Windows 10 and wish that it would stick around. When I got my personal laptop after Gator passed it had W11 on it and it was neat to look at and play with but to use, I found it cumbersome. There are also functions/features that I am used to in W10 that simply aren’t in W11. I’ve played with it again on Friday and there is a learning curve on my part for sure. Were also apparently moving to Office 365 and I am not a fan of that version of Outlook, that is way different. There look to be some neat features but some of the toolbars that I am used to aren’t there. There may or may not be a way to get those back, I didn’t play with it much. I am one of many beta testers and will play with it as I am able to since I know it’s going to be the norm. There is going to be a lot of work to do making folks feel comfortable with it. Personally, once I am forced to convert my personal machines at home I plan to look into and purchase an overlay or program that makes it feel and behave much more like W10. I’ve seen some demonstrated on YouTube. At least this is my plan at the moment, that could change. Ah, technology. It just doesn’t stand still and sometimes the more it seems to improve the more difficult certain tasks become. As long as I can do or figure out how to do what I need to in order to keep things humming along professionally and personally I will adapt like the rest of the world.

Speaking of technology, I really would like a new phone. However, I don’t want to give up my home button and am not a huge fan of facial recognition. The few people I’ve spoken with tell me that I will adapt as many of other people have. I’m kind of hanging on to see if Apple will release another SE iPhone that maintains the home button. I’m not a fan of paying $1k for a phone but that seems to be the new trend. I might make an impulse purchase and just rip off the band-aid but I am trying to maintain my patience. What I have is the perfect size and functionality for me. Although at times a slightly larger screen could be advantageous.

Saturday … I got to bed early but didn’t sleep like I did on Thursday night. I thought it might have been the fact that I didn’t have any soda on Thursday but as I went to take my evening pills, I see that for some reason I skipped Thursday. My insomnia kicked in at 3am and I wanted to be up at 6:30a. To occupy my mind, I watched the latest episode of Chicago PD, which was a huge mistake at 3am. The current case they are working involves a gay young guy who was found damn near close to death, he had his eyes stapled open. Turns out the killer likes to do his deed in pairs so he wants them to watch each other die. He stabs them multiple times but it’s done in a manner that they each bleed out slowly and suffer. The young man they saved, managed to make contact with the killer who was posing as his dead boyfriend, the young man knew his boyfriend was dead but the killer got in his head and convinced him that he made it out alive. The young man went back to meet up and it was the killer, now he’s dead along with another young man. Just not the entire story/plot that I needed to see that time of early morning. Bad choice on my part. Although admittedly if I watched it at a more normal time the story/plot is still a bit disturbing.

Rudy kept me on pace and made biscuits at 6:30a. I got up and passed out breakfast for them. Got a shower for me and headed out to breakfast. Had my Blueberry pancakes. I had to rush to get to the restaurant and then when I got there, they were packed and moving slow. I got my food in a reasonable amount of time but wolfed it down because I was convinced that I would never, ever make it to the haircut appointment I had set. Turns out I had 5 minutes to spare which cut it close but I still showed up early.

I managed to muster up the courage to ask about the young man who used to be the receptionist and found out that he got fired. That sucks because he was cute and I was going to ask him out. Looks like I don’t have to worry about that now. He’s been gone for a couple months. Here is hoping that they find another male receptionist that is just as cute as he was.

After my haircut I went to visit my friends but one of them had already left for vacation. I got to talk with the other one for a few hours it was nice to catchup. I’ll go back to see my other friend when I know that he’s back from vacation. I’ll also be due for an oil change soon, trying to put it off until May if I can but I am mindful of the oil life indicator and mileage, I’ve never run it to 0% and always changed it either at or way before the 10% mark. My usual range is 20 to 25%. I am at 49% now. My oil was changed last year late fall. That proves I really don’t do much driving. Although the automobile really had some pep today and I pushed it. I will pay for that tomorrow when it’s time to gas up, ouch.

Came home, watched some TV, took a nap. Woke up and watched a little bit more TV. Rudy was tap-dancing for his supper but it was way early. I went out for Mexican food, which was good. The salsa was the only thing I didn’t like. Drove through the manual car wash to see if they had an option for taking credit/debit cards and it is still quarters only. At least now I know. I think that is the way to get my car the cleanest but I’ve not done a manual wash on an automobile in easily 10 years. This vehicle has never been manually washed by me.

I’m working on laundry, bills and had a couple things to do for work. It’s way past Mora’s time for treats and very close to the more normal time I pass them out. Rudy has already started campaigning and letting me know it’s about that time. I really don’t want to go up but I will. Not to say that I won’t come back down because I probably will.

Looks like Nashville Police have indicated to the media that the preliminary results of the autopsy on Riley Strain have been completed and it appears that this was an accident and there is no foul play. The toxicology results will also speak volumes to this finding and that’s something that a lot of people are waiting to hear. I do hope that they make the results public.

I watched the latest Disruptive Films scene with Scott Finn and Greyson Lange. Scott is one of my all-time favs. In real life he announced last year that he was getting married and said that she knew of his porn career. My fear is that he will retire but thus far not the case or so it seems. Greyson Lange started at Helix and really didn’t do much for me when he started. Today is a different story he’s pretty hot and I’m glad that he’s still around.

Sunday … Woke up early as planned but managed to sleep in a half hour. Rudy made sure that I didn’t oversleep as I had multiple wake up calls that started at 5a. That’s both good and bad. He’s good about taking no for an answer for a couple times but he has his limit.

Once I got up, I was quick to feed Rudy and his sister. Then I threw on my clothes and headed downstairs, knocked out my work task. Then headed up, took my morning meds and grabbed a coat. Headed out for breakfast. I got a double burger with an egg on it and fries. The burger size must have increased because I couldn’t fit it all in my mouth. It was slightly greasy which I dislike but it was an okay meal. Headed to the grocery store from there. Saw the sign on the front door that they will be closed next Sunday to observe Easter. From there it was to the gas station where I paid the price for some fast driving. My tank wasn’t empty but this fill up was anything but cheap, especially since the price of gas just jumped in the last two weeks. From there back to home, put the groceries away and then to watch TV and be free for a while. Got in about an hour nap and some quality time with the cats.

One of the things I got from the grocery store was Spiced Coca-Cola Zero. It’s got Raspberry in it and I’ve heard good things about the drink from someone who doesn’t drink diet drinks. I am anxious to try it. Right now, I’ve got all 12 cans chilling in the fridge. Probably won’t pop one open until tomorrow.

I knocked out the laundry yesterday, so I am biding my time until I get to leave for Red Lobster. I still have to tend to the trash and vacuum but those are tasks that I can do after I come back. Granted I might not want to but we shall see.

Since I fired my exterminator, I signed up for a service called Do My Own Pest Box. You give them the measurements of your home and then choose a program that fits your needs. My exterminator would come every other month, so I got a similar program setup with them. They send you the right amount of chemicals for your home, you mix them in a sprayer with some water and viola, start spraying the perimeter of your home. It is way cheaper than hiring an exterminator mostly because you’re doing the labor of mixing and spraying. My hope is that I get the same results from this as I had with the exterminator. Most of the professional stuff that you spray outdoors is good for one to two months. The occasional little creepy crawly bugs have all gone by the wayside since my exterminator started and that’s what I want to maintain. They solved my rodent problem. If they come back, I know how to setup bait stations outdoors. I still have traps set inside the house that the exterminator put in place but failed to retrieve.

Back from Red Lobster and wouldn’t you know that it was just my luck the one dish that I crave periodically and what is my go-to of Crab Linguini Alfredo has been removed from the menu and not available for sale. That was my sole reason for the trip. Add to that poor service and this made for a less than perfect dining experience. Thankfully months ago, I came across the Flounder Dinner and ordered that. I could have tried harder to finish the whole thing. I was satisfied and just wanted to get back home so I got a box for what was left, paid the bill and headed home.

It's a nice day so I cracked the windows in the vehicle and vented the sun roof. It felt good with the breeze blowing. However, it’s allergy season and I was quickly miserable, having to blow my nose and sneezing my head off. Finally, after having enough of that I rolled up the windows and closed up the sun roof. Magically my problem went away. I was slightly uncomfortable but managed to make do.

Now were home until Tuesday, when it’s time to make the trek back to the office. I’m playing on the computer a bit and then will head up to watch TV for the rest of the evening. Despite being on-call the weekend has been enjoyable. I will savor in the fact my turn of on-call will be done come tomorrow morning and that will remove some pressure and for sure allow for more freedom, which I always enjoy.

Here’s hoping that it’s a great week ahead!  Thanks for stopping by, take care. 

BREAKING NEWS–Riley Strain

According to https://www.newschannel5.com/ in Nashville they have confirmed that they have pulled the body of Riley Strain from the Cumberland River this morning. 

RIP

End of the road

My last day of boss vacation, I’m happy and sad at the same time.  I didn’t miss him at all and frankly wish that he would take another week or two.  I could easily get used to this luxury life of less meetings, more time to myself and to work on other things.  We have a situation that just cropped up now and I know he would turn it into a meeting if he was here.  I know all good things come to an end eventually and it’s not like this wasn’t expected.  It just seemed much further away when it was Monday. 

The weather here was horrible yesterday.  We got pelted with a few rounds of hail, lots of rain and thunder & lighting.  The cats were amused by the hail but also a little scared at the same time.  Thankfully what I saw we had was small compared to other areas that got softball size.  Thankfully I don’t see any obvious visible damage.  The house got back into the 80’s and I had enough of that so I turned on the AC.  It cooled down and remains that way this morning.  We have cooler weather for a while, so I imagine there will be no furnace or ac for a bit and I am okay with that.  Just comfortable status quo is fine.  

I made it to the dentist and got a good report, as per usual.  They told me to keep doing what I am doing, because it’s working.  I am not doing anything but brushing once per day (before bed), flossing and rinsing with Listerine.  I use Oral B and Sonicare toothbrushes, and rotate daily for the most part.  If I am out and have something stuck in my teeth that is bothering I will floss then but otherwise it’s just once per day.  I fell in love with flossing.  It sounded like a chore to me when I was older but now just like sex and potato chips I can’t get enough of it.  At my old dentist I would ask for a second flossing just because it felt so good.  I miss my old dentist but am happy with the one I presently have, plus she is closer to home. 

Another surprise that came yesterday was the verdict in the James Crumbley trial.  I expected it more today than yesterday.  What a long day was yesterday for those people, coming back with verdict later in the day.  He was found guilty on all four counts of involuntary manslaughter.  I am interested to see what he and his wife are sentenced to next month. 

Meanwhile on the search for Riley Strain nothing new from what I see.  Looks like Nashville is pulling out all the stops and using every available resource and looking every place they can think of.  I am not sure why he hasn’t turned up yet but am interested to hear the backstory if/when he surfaces.  Tonight will mark one week that he has been missing.  The longer this goes on the less likely this will turn out good, I say that just based on other cases that I have seen in the media.  He’s a cute kid and sounds like he had everything going for him as he was set to graduate in just a short while.  The video I’ve seen shows that he is clearly drunk or under the influence of something.  I hope that he is found safe and soon. 

I’ve knocked out my morning tasks, had a bit more this morning than normal but they are all done.  Nothing left on my plate but to sit back, relax and enjoy the day.  I’m craving Steak N Shake bad.  I wanted to stop in yesterday after the dentist but told myself to go home.  I am thinking of going out later this afternoon and making this my supper.  It’s a treat but I know my stomach will have some issues with all of the grease.  If I don’t go then I will be digging in the freezer. 

Looking forward to what I hope is a relaxing weekend, filled with some good food and TV.  I hope that you have a good weekend as well.  Take care!

Thursday

Morning, I hope all is well.  My neck of the woods is dealing with a severe weather outbreak.  It started last night and is continuing into today.  My phone is quite active with all of the alerts.  It’s enough to drive a person crazy.  I want them to be able to be safe but I wish they were a little less frequent.  The weather radio went off a couple times yesterday evening before bed and it’s started up again already.  I’ve heard it twice since I have been here in the basement this morning.  This is not uncommon especially when we get weather that goes from cold to warm over a period of a few days.  It’s like it breeds the bad weather and there is usually a Tornado or two that comes out of it.  Kind of sucks but it’s a reminder that if you don’t like today’s weather, just wait tomorrow could be radically different. 

Not sure if you are aware of the missing Mizzou Student who was kicked out of a bar for being over served in Nashville TN and is now missing.  His name is Riley Strain.  He’s 22 and 6’6 with blond hair.  Quite the looker if I do say so.  He’s been missing for I believe 5 or 6 days.  I feel bad for his family.  The longer this goes on the more I can’t help but think that it won’t have a positive outcome.  Presuming that it does have a positive outcome I am really interested as to what happened.  If your in Nashville I am told that there are posters of him all over the place.  The case has gained quite a bit of media attention and if you tune into any national news it’s in the headlines.  You can find local stories from MO and TN on YouTube.  It’s scary to think that one could vanish but it happens everyday and sadly there are way too many cases.  The anguish it causes has to be unfathomable.  The uncertainty and just plain not knowing would drive me batty.  Here’s hoping that Riley surfaces alive and well soon. 

In other major news the James Crumbley trial has headed to the jury.  Closing arguments were really strong from both sides.  I think that he has a fighting chance at being not-guilty but I think there are stronger social and political pressures on the jury and I would be astonished if he walks away from this as a free man.  I think a verdict will be reached by Friday but that’s just my opinion.  Not sure if I could be on this jury or even his wife’s jury, both juries were shown graphic photos and videos of the shooting and death of the kids.  On the verdict watch to see how this turns out. 

My work vacation is still going strong.  I did have a few things come up yesterday afternoon that I had to deal with but it’s been mostly calm and I am hopeful that it will stay that way for the last two days of this run. 

I will be headed out at lunch time to see the dentist, hopefully the weather won’t be too bad.  Never mind that my vehicle is nice and clean from being washed.  They never stay clean long enough. 

Watched a really great movie last night on Max called Wonka.  It was more of a play than a movie but it was kept interesting and upbeat.  I recommend it highly if your looking for something to watch. 

Rudy and Mora got into a fight as I started the movie so I had to break that up and then keep and eye on Rudy he was the instigator and his poor sister did nothing wrong.  They settled down but I saw him giving her the evil eye.  She was really screaming and hissing.  They get into spats like this once and while but for the most part they are quite loving toward each other.  They enjoy chasing each other all over the house several times a day when they each get their bursts of energy.

Well I have a couple things to wrap up for work and then I will be headed up to sit with the kids until work bothers me or it’s time to leave for the dentist.  Hope that you have a great day and the sun is shining bright in your world. 

Ah, home

Morning!  After yesterdays post I got to thinking about being trapped in my broom closet of an office as well as the travel and getting up early.  All of the extra effort just to preform for a normal day of work.  I still marvel at the fact that I used to do this five days a week without question for years because it was the norm.  Anyway I opted to stay home.  I can be more productive, save myself money and wear comfy clothes and go shoeless all day long.  While being in the comfort of my home with my two furry friends.  It feels wrong and I should have gone in but in making a judgement call I am bias and tend to rule more to what benefits me.  I will be trapped here all next week since I am on-call and two weeks back to back is kind of torture but I’ve done it before.  Plus I still have the rest of the week if I want to change my mind I can always go in but I can tell you now that unless something bad happens I will be staying put.  Mora & Rudy seems pleased with my decision.  They were trying to get me to take the day off and it sounded tempting.  I have a close second with this hybrid approach to working. 

I damn near forgot about my massage and to make the appointment.  Turns out that the day I want the person isn’t working.  I wound up booking a week later on a Saturday.  I am going for an hour and a half.  Cost is very reasonable at a dollar and some change per minute.  I hope that it is the beating that I need to get rid of the knots.  Now all I have to do is wait and that is the most difficult part.  I am so looking forward to this. 

What’s been engrossing on YouTube?  Well I am hooked into watching the trial of the Oxford School Shooter’s mother.  The shooter himself plead guilty and got life as a juvenile.  It’s speculated that his legal team is probably going to appeal the sentence.  Most think that he got the correct sentence.  Given what has emerged about the parents and how outright negligent they were I think it’s right that they stand trial.  It might serve as a warning to other parents to do a better job, pay attention and be engaged more in your children's lives.  It seems odd to me that they knew the kid liked guns but they seemed disconnected from the fact that he was deeply disturbed and needed help.  They knew that he was upset with remote learning over COVID as well as a recent death of the family dog.  Regardless of who you are if you were locked up (as most of the US was) for 2 years during COVID, you have mental problems.  I’m not saying your batshit crazy.  However, we all I think struggled with the isolation and depression that came with shelter in place orders.  My opinion is that his parents failed him.  His school caught the issue but it was only hours before the event and it was far too late and they didn’t fully realize what they were dealing with.  Add to that the red tape and policy and procedures of how things are supposed to be handled.  His guidance counselor has to go to bed each night thinking he should have done more.  There is lots of hindsight, which is always 20/20.  The shooter didn’t act out soon enough at school to show signs that he was deeply disturbed. But he was hallucinating and delusional and his parents got him a gun.  They didn’t pull the trigger but they provided the gun(s) and bullets so they are culpable and should have a price to pay for that.  I am interested to see how this plays out, even if I don’t get to watch the entire trial.  The father will be tried in the next few months.  Not exactly sure why they aren’t on trial together as that seems more fair to me but I realize that would or could be a huge struggle for the jury. 

In other regular news, I had Buffalo Chicken pasta for supper last night.  Followed up with a Mint Chip Klondike bar.  It helped to cool things down.  Mora slept while Rudy & I ate.  After Rudy and I were settled Mora woke up and wanted treats as wasn’t interested in food.  I tried to get her to eat but she wanted her treats.  That caused me to wake up Rudy when I shook the can.  They both loaded up on treats and then settled down for a while.  Once it was time to get ready for bed they both eagerly awaited their cat nip, which they enjoyed.  Mora got quite playful.  Rudy was his normal self.  I just never know if it’s going to drive them to play or if they will eat it and smile. 

Watched a great movie/documentary on Netflix about We Are The World.  Got the back story on how that song came together and damn it was a major event that was done in one night.  I never ever knew that.  Watch it if you get the chance it’s worth your time.  Lots of musical talent. 

Hope it’s a great day for all.  Take care! 

 

Control

Good Morning and happy first Friday of 2024!  I hope that it’s a great day for you. 

When I was posting yesterday I saw the notification about the School Shooting in Perry, Iowa.  I couldn’t believe it so early into the new year.  It’s a horrific tragedy and not something kids should be exposed to but sad to say it’s become part of the norm of society.  This isn’t political and I’m not a gun control nut.  I think that parents should keep a better watch over their kids as well as make sure if they choose to own guns that they are secure and out of reach of children.  I didn’t know it but apparently there have been 4 mass shootings already this year with the bulk occurring on New Years Day according to what I heard on the news, presuming that is accurate info. 

I heard the shooter was a kid and that further broke my heart.  Sounds like he was bullied and picked on.  Same thing happened to me when I was in school and I know that kids are vicious and it hurts, the hurt is deep because you are so young and innocent.  Dealing with that can be difficult.  I never had the thought of wanting to pick up a gun and go shoot up a school or even people who picked on me.  Even if I had it wouldn’t have been an option because there weren’t weapons in the house I grew up in.  I feel bad for everyone that was directly affected by this and I am sure that more news about this will surface in the coming days.  I pray that all of the living victims make a successful recovery. 

In other news, I had the Lasagna last night for supper.  It was pretty good.  I did a little bit of minor snacking in the afternoon.  I was able to call it a day early but kept watch on my email.  There was a little drama in the afternoon but it was over with quickly and didn’t linger. 

I watched some TV in the early afternoon and then in the evening I was able to flip it off and go type out a story.  I sat at the kitchen table and typed out the story.  My back was killing me.  I’ve got wooden chairs and they aren’t the most comfortable to sit in for a long period of time.  It’s the only place where if I sit for a long period of time I can hear things in my back and neck pop when I move.  It’s the only place where I can sit upstairs that I am safe from the cats. 

I went looking for both of them when I was done and they were sleeping together in one of the pet beds on the couch.  Rudy was facing me and Mora was facing away, so they had complete coverage if there was an attack or maybe it was just comfortable for both of them.  They are the cutest when they are sleeping.  Of course as soon as I sat down Mora woke up and had to come over for cuddling. 

It wasn’t terribly long before it was time to shutdown and get ready for bed.  I was out pretty quick last night.

I do think that the pizza will be gone today and I am very pleased about that.  It’s not what I want to eat but I am committed to finishing it.  Then I can move on and eat something different.  Strangely enough TV Dinner actually sound more appealing than pizza at the moment. 

Tomorrow is the day I fire the exterminator.  I need to make sure that I am up early enough to make it to the post office so that I can send the official notice by certified mail.  I noticed that they assigned a different technician to my account.  I logged into remove my cell phone as well as credit card information so they no longer have that.  I am eager to get rid of them and move forward.  I’ve debated about this for a while and honestly they solved the original problem and I wasn’t expected to hang on for over a year.  They got a decent sum of money out of me and in the process they did tackle some common house hold bugs for me.  I just didn’t like the invasion of having to open my home every other month, make sure that I was home and then being able to step away from work.  I’m glad for the service they provided.  Just a shame that the tech told me I could pause on a service if I wanted to and that ended up being a lie.  If he lied about that I wonder what else I have been lied to about.  It’s just time to part ways.  If I need an exterminator in the future there is more than one company in town.  I just happened to pick the one that charges the most.  I would be due for service next month and timed this so that the service ends long before that next service would be due so as to not be roped into forking out more money.  I will be glad when I am officially done with them.  I will feel safer for the cats because they won’t be exposed to the chemicals and I don’t have to worry about them ingesting them before they dry.  Overall I think life will just be better.  I am sure it will be no shock to them and I expect them to try to woo me back by lowering the price but I am done and even if they gave me the service free, I wouldn’t want to continue to do business with them.  I think my letter of cancellation makes that more than clear. 

The post office will be the highlight of my day.  I have to get more cat food and then figure out what I want to eat.  Unless I have an unexpected burst of energy I expect that I will be lazy and watch TV and work in a nap.  It will kind of be a waste of a day but as long as I can cross off the items that are important to me I will call it a success.

My doc told me that I should probably start back up on the allergy nasal spray and after pondering it I decided to give it a whirl again.  Problem is what he is prescribing is OTC now and the mail order pharmacy doesn’t carry it but they do carry a weaker less potent version.  Not exactly sure why but okay.  They are trying to see if the doctor will approve that, which I am sure he will but I will probably be spraying my nose much more.  I had to make a phone call this morning to find all of this out.  PBM’s all suck at customer service, they try but fail.  I was told by the first person that I talked to that quizzed the hell out of me to make sure I was who I said I was, despite the IVR already telling me that I was verified by phone number, said that he would take all of the information and then pass it on to the right person to stay on the line.  The person I talked to next quizzed me also not once but twice to make sure I was who I said I was.  Nice to know that security is important to them.  However, I also had to repeat why I was calling and then listen to her recap everything it was just a miserable experience.  I don’t need a recap I was with you as you spoke to me I know why I called and how things turned out.  It’s as bad as calling the phone company.

The phone call that I was waiting for came in yesterday just before I sat down to eat, telling me that trash collection would be one day late because of the holiday.  I will set the can out today.  Were in for rain and then a rain snow mix oh what fun.  I am hopeful that it fizzles out but it’s the weather and no one has control over that.  Right now the sun is out and it’s starting to warm up a tad.  My cats are happy campers when the sun is out, they love to bask in it and fall asleep.  I think that is every cats favorite thing to do, outside of eating. 

Hope you have a great first weekend of the year.  Talk with you all again soon.  Thanks for stopping by!

Bad Monday

Hello again!  I was heart broken to learn that Leslie Jordan passed away yesterday.  He made me laugh many times and I caught a couple of his videos during the pandemic.  I first saw him on Will & Grace.  Follow that up with more tragic news of yet another school shooting in America.  Yesterday was not a good day at all. 

The rain has fallen and continues to fall.  Driving in this morning was pure hell.  It’s like people had never seen water falling from the sky.  Accidents were everywhere and people were constantly changing lanes to jockey for position but that really doesn’t get anyone anywhere quickly.  While my normal start time is 8:30a I have been starting at 7:30a for the past two years.  I got here this morning at 8a and that was leaving the house a little bit early.  I should have gone with my gut and stayed home today.  I just didn’t want to spend a 3rd week at home.  My desk was empty and no one really missed me.  It’s just like I am working at home but I am isolated to my office and hear people passing by outside.  I honestly would have been more comfortable at home.  Here’s hoping the commute home will be a bit more peaceful. 

Gator was surprised when I woke her up since I was an hour early.  She had just come from the fountain and was settling down so I got to touch a wet cat.  She was pleased to see me though.  I got her some food but she was too lazy to get off the couch to eat.  I had to hand feed it to her from the couch.  She got some fluids last night.  She seems to be doing reasonably well given her old age and health.  Hopefully, we can continue down this same path for quite sometime.  I honestly think that me staying close to her makes her more comfortable and she always looks forward to spending time with me when she can. 

Work is about to get busy again and then I will get to eat some lunch.  I had a horrible supper last night.  Taco Uncrustables, which sounded great until I realized how small they were.  I had some junk food to top my stomach off and just chalked it all up to a bad day.  Tonight I plan to have something better and hopefully more enjoyable. 

Hope that your dry and doing well.  Talk with you all again soon.  Stay safe and be well. 

Unbelievably sad

Yesterday was one of those days where I was totally consumed with work.  I didn’t pay much if any attention to my phone.  As I was wrapping up for the day, I saw a news alert about the School Shooting in TX.  I turned on the news and just couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  I just so happened to be searching for something to watch later in the evening and heard the President’s speech about this.  I don’t know if we in America will ever truly wake up and do something meaningful that impacts gun regulation.  I don’t mind if you own a gun and ammo but I don’t think anyone but police/military need access to assault rifles and I don’t think just anyone should be able to purchase a gun of any kind, much less a kid.  The system is clearly, obviously broken and I don’t know how many more people will need to die before someone wakes up and fixes what is truly a broken mess.  If you want to protect your property, your life and the life of your family with a gun, that is perfectly fine in my book.  If you want to take the gun or any weapon for that matter into a public space and start picking people off one by one, that’s where I have a problem.  Since the shooter is dead it is doubtful that we will ever truly know why this happened nor will anyone be able to ask questions and get answers. 

Look we all get mad, frustrated and I think all of us have that urge where we say words to the effect of, I want to kill, but that is done in a fit of anger it’s not something that you truly mean.  Everyone deserves a right to feel safe in a public space, much less a school.  Kids are there to learn and kids by definition are mostly innocent and defenseless, no one and I mean no one should rob them of their youth or innocence because once it’s gone, it’s not something you can get back.

Yesterday’s event forever changed the lives of so many people.  They may recover but they will never truly be the same as they were prior to this taking place.  I don’t know about you but I am so tired of hearing about mass shooting events regardless of where they are taking place.  It’s senseless violence.  The odd thing is that when most of the world was locked down, we didn’t have these types of events.  When colder weather hits I don’t recall (may be wrong) hearing of these types of events.  What is worse is that when one of these events happens there are usually copy cats or similar events that take place within days, weeks or even months of one of them.  I don’t think this is something that should be swept under the rug and not reported on but I do think that the media gives far too much attention to events like this, which I think feeds into this problem spreading. 

We are all entitled to our own thoughts, opinions and political beliefs.  That is part of what makes America a great country.  Not only do we need to regulate/reform gun control but we need much more serious penalties for these types of crimes.  You have to dissuade people from wanting to do this and from giving these types of events so much publicity.  That’s how I think the problem could be fixed.  Maybe I am wrong and maybe there is a better solution.  All I can say is it’s time for our lawmakers to stop sitting around with their thumbs in their asses and/or pretending like this doesn’t exist.  This is a very real and one of the more serious issues that demands priority attention to remediate, so that everyone can sleep at night instead of wondering and worrying. 

I just don’t get how the greatest country on earth can have this kind of a problem.  It matters not who is at fault or who is to blame – we need to focus on the problem and fixing it.  You can play the blame game all day long but that fixes and solves nothing.  Thoughts & Prayers won’t fix this problem and certainly won’t bring anyone who lost their life back, they are gone forever.  Hopefully, before another event like this takes place, we have some progress towards a meaningful solution but if I were a betting man, I would lay odds that won’t be the case and this will just be a never-ending problem until one day were all fucking dead.

I didn’t know anyone involved, I have no ties to Texas but I can tell you that without a doubt I am sickened and saddened by what happened.  This was senseless and like every other mass shooting it didn’t need to happen and could and should have been avoided!

Serious Anger

Last night I was emptying my DVR of content to both free up space and help to pass time.  I watched 20/20 from last Friday which was entitled Death By Text.  It’s the story of Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy.  Both young adults.  Conrad had some mental problems and suicidal ideations.  He shared those with Michelle a girl that he was texting.  Michelle starts encouraging Conrad to act on his thoughts.  He overdosed one time but did it around family (I believe) they called for help and he was saved with medical assistance. 

The second time he tried was from the idea that he got from Michelle.  He borrowed a pump of some kind that was powered by a gasoline engine.  He drove to an empty K-Mart parking lot and in his pickup truck he started the engine of the pump.  He eventually succumbed to carbon monoxide and died.  He was found the next day by local law enforcement when his mother reported him missing.

Conrad had promised to delete all of the text message conversations between himself and Michelle but thankfully he didn’t.  He was also smart enough and thoughtful to leave behind his password(s).  The police discovered the messages when they looked at his phone and then they start digging further, they eventually get a search warrant for her (Michelle’s) phone and find the real damming piece of evidence.  She texted a friend explaining that she could have stopped Conrad from taking his own life.  He got out of the truck at one point but she told him to get back in and he did.  This turned from what on the surface looked like a simple suicide into a homicide. 

It took a couple years to make its way through the court system and her attorneys did a good job of trying to keep it from going to trial but they failed (thank God).  She had her day in court, waived a jury trial and instead let a judge make the final decision.  After the trial was done it took the judge 3 days to reach a verdict.  He starts out in his speech and it sounds like she is going to get off and then he switches course and she is found guilty of manslaughter.  She got in my opinion a very light sentence.  Two and a half years in prison with credit for 15 months served and the rest suspended, along with 5 years of probation.  Wow!  She took a human’s life, a young man who had so much to live for and she basically walked away with a light slap on the wrist.  There was no justice here but that is my opinion. 

If you watch the show you will see a good portion of the text message exchanges which were appalling.  She (Michelle) forced him into this I think because she got tired of hearing him whine about it.  Just get it over with, everyone will understand and move on.  She even went so far as to make contact with various family members after it happened and it wasn’t until the police dropped the bomb shell that she was involved that the pieces started coming together for the family.  They were horrified and understandably so. 

Conrad was a very good looking young man.  He graduated High School, got his Capitan’s License to pilot a boat and had lots of opportunity staring him in the face.  He had his demons but his mistake was being open and honest with Michelle a girl/friend that he had.  Instead of opening up to a true friend who would have steered him towards help.  I really wished that  someone could have changed things for this young man.  This truly is a very sad story.   

This story has also been made into a Hulu series called The Girl from Plainville.  Here’s a link to a media story about all of this … https://www.masslive.com/news/2022/04/conrad-roys-family-speak-out-on-abcs-2020-about-michelle-carter-texting-suicide-case-hulus-the-girl-from-plainville.html 

Something I learned a long time ago is that if someone says they are going to kill themselves, take them seriously 100% of the time, don’t treat it as a joke or humor.  If you do ignore it or pass it off as humor you likely will be regretful the rest of your life. 

I was seriously angry and shouting at the TV.  This was wrong in every sense of the word and is something that should have never happened.  I don’t know what kind of demented person hears a cry for help and encourages the person crying to take their own life.  It matters not who’s idea it was.  It matters that it was suggested as a solution. 

A former therapist of mine told me that Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I get the appeal of wanting to drop out of life, I’ve been there a number of times myself.  You can’t see the trees for the forest your in.  You aren’t thinking clearly and your mind races to find a solution.  It’s a very dangerous, scary and lonely place to be.  Regardless of whatever the problem is you are not the lone ranger, meaning that you aren’t the only person in the world who has faced this problem (what ever it may be).   

There is help available regardless of your age.  Life is not an easy journey to navigate all the time and talking with someone does help and often times puts things into a different perspective.

800-273-8255 – This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  You can call or text them 24/7/365.  It’s available in English or Spanish. 

866.488.7386 – This is the number for the Trevor Project.  They specialize in helping LGBT youth.  You can call that number or if you prefer to text, send START to 678-678.  Just like the above number I believe this operates 24/7/365.  

I am by no means an expert when it comes to mental health.  I’ve had and continue to have my struggles.  Talking and medication is what has helped me the most.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, it doesn’t mean or make you less of a person.  I think it actually makes you stronger for realizing that you need help and are asking for it.

Okay, now I will step down off my soap box.  I just don’t know how anyone can see or hear this story and not be upset or angry.  Talk with you all again soon.   

Scary Night

Last night was very scary.  Lots of severe weather and a Tornado in my neck of the woods.  If the trajectory would have been slightly different my entire neighborhood would have been wiped out.  Thankfully we have no damage.  We did get some winds and rain but you can’t tell by walking outside how much danger we were actually in.  However, there are other people a short distance away, who aren’t as lucky and tragically there has been loss of life. 

I was watching Single All The Way on Netflix and got to about the last half hour of the movie.  The weather alert went off on my phone first and that sound grabs your attention (or at least mine).  I read the words tornado watch and tune to local media.  The movie was on pause and I switched over to local news.  The weather radio went off.  I opened up the police scanner app on my phone and tuned into the local police (there is a delay of 2 minutes, meaning what they say is broadcasted two minutes later).  I saw something headed for my area and then the sirens went off, then the weather alert went off on my phone and it said tornado warning.  I heard an officer a few minutes later say that he spotted a tornado.  I had grabbed my handheld police scanner and turned it on (thank goodness the batteries were freshly charged).  I heard another officer from a different department that was in the next town over report a tornado.  Then the reports of all of the devastation started to roll in. 

I knew that I should have been in my basement with Gator but we were sitting in the living room as all of this unfolded.  She knew something was wrong with me but not exactly what it was.  I was scared.  Being a former trained weather spotter I know that when you get warnings you should act because after that it is usually too late.  My late spouse never was one to run to the basement, he too was a trained weather spotter and wanted to run outside and see what was going on.  That is kind of why I didn’t move.  Plus nothing usually happens despite the fact that we are in an area well known for tornados we usually get straight line winds. 

I kept hearing radio traffic but it took a long time before the local media started broadcasting because we had a couple waves of this rolling in and the weather folks were very busy trying to do their jobs.  I flipped between channels constantly throughout this because one would start talking about my area and then they would start talking about another place.  I was only concerned with my area, which I think is most common for folks.

The power flickered a bit during all of this and I thought for sure we would lose power, which would suck because then it’s flashlights, the police scanner and my cell phone.  Thankfully the power stayed in tact to allow me to continue watching the TV.  

The urge to pray came over me and I did just that.  This has been a trying 2 years for all of us with COVID.  For this to happen so close to Christmas is sad.  This is not something that we ever needed.  It does show you how people come together in trying times though. 

It was well after midnight before I went to bed and Gator was quite upset with me.  I needed to know that all of the severe weather was out of the area because the last thing I wanted it to get comfortable only to have to climb out of bed.  Not to mention my nerves were shot. 

I did feel all alone.  I thought for sure when the damage reports started being broadcast that my friends would reach out to me, but nope not a text or a phone call.  Just makes me feel like they really don’t think of me as a friend, unless there is a holiday and they want company.  I thought about sending a text saying, thanks for checking on me and Gator.  Were fine and so is the house.  But I figured that would just cause issues so I let it go. 

I did get out today and drove around to look at the damage and it’s heart breaking.  You don’t normally think of severe weather this time of year but it can happen.  Especially when the temperature swings rapidly high and then rapidly low over the course of a couple days. 

Considering that my neighborhood is untouched and I still have my Gator, I am beyond thankful that we were spared.  Hopefully, the remainder of the year will play out and be uneventful and oddly calm.  Lord knows we could all use some calm. 

I hope that you are safe, well and you don’t know anyone that was affected by this horrific event.  Cheers! 

 

What a week

Not sure if you remember the series Saved by the Bell. One of the characters on the show was Screech who was played by Dustin Diamond. Unfortunately, he contracted Cancer and it was fast moving, it took him out in 3 weeks and he passed away on Monday at the ripe young age of 44. While I knew he had cancer I didn’t realize how advanced it was and that this was a battle he wouldn’t win. Hearing of his passing was shocking and upsetting. I wasn’t attracted to him just his age and how fast this went is what bothered me the most.  I hope he is resting in peace. 

I did something different this week and created a small post recapping parts of the day. I did this with the hope that this would be a little bit more interesting of a post. I’m summarizing it rather than listing the notes I made each day. Hope you enjoy!

Just look at all of the accomplishments I made this week …

I received the results of my DNA at first, I was disappointed because I only got the health reports [which said there was nothing to worry about, based on DNA] but a few days later is when things came to life. I found the origin of my ancestors and that I had multiple DNA matches. The closest being a 2^nd cousin with my father’s last name. I wanted to reach out but opted not to. I think if it would have been a closer match like a ½ brother or ½ sister then I may have done so. I know that my father tried to disown me and even ran to join the US Army in the hopes he could escape a Paternity law suit, but it didn’t work. The court declared him my father and the US Army helped ensure he was in court. While it sounds like a far-fetched tale this DNA test proved that what I was told was the truth and nothing but the truth. I had no reason to doubt it but this just seals it for sure for my own eyes. In the event if I should get closer matches in the future, I am willing to reach out to them. I know I have at least a ½ brother and a ½ sister. Perhaps our paths will cross someday, it would sure be interesting if we all managed to get along.

I figured out how to merge my Amazon Prime Account with my Twitch account and subscribe to one of my favorite streamers. It doesn’t cost me anything and gives my favorite streamer $4.99 per month. I’m not into video games but I do like watching the streams as this particular guy is gay and loves to take his shirt off. Things do get interesting from time to time but there is nothing X rated and no nudity besides looking at his fine chest!

I finished watching the TV Series Everwood that I was streaming on HBOMax. I’ve still got a mad crush on Gregory Smith; even though I know he is straight and married. I can dream and there is no charge for that!

I picked up a couple prescriptions at the local pharmacy, which reminds me I need to set out my meds. I always despise that task.

I am supposed to be getting some additional responsibilities at work, it’s an administrative task that I have been told more than once I will be inheriting but thus far it’s all talk. I will be kind of surprised if it actually comes to fruition.

The biggest news of all of my accomplishments is that I filed my income taxes. Whoopie! My reason for doing so was 3-fold. First, there was a sale on the rates of the software. Second, my credit card has an offer that will get me 10% of my purchase price back. Third, I have to be concerned with identity theft and the earlier I file the less the risk. It’s something that I have to do and it’s not going away so might as well get with the program.

In the news of Ms. Gator …

She has this lovely new habit that I do not like. She has to wake me up twice during the night so she can get food. This causes me to lose sleep not to mention my patience with her. I try to put it off but that only works to my detriment as she is persistent and knows that if she yaps long enough that I will give in. She sure has a great set of lungs! She is also having more regular bowel movements, which I know sounds disgusting but they have increased to at least once per day. Once and a while she will skip a day. Before she was doing every other day or maybe once every 3 days. I attributed it to her kidney disease and am wondering if maybe her kidneys woke up. Lord knows her stomach doesn’t sleep much. She has also managed to not interrupt me as much this week when I am down stairs, which I see as a positive sign. I enjoy being able to concentrate on what I am working on or looking at, rather than worrying about her. Several times I don’t realize it until I am ready to go upstairs and then I race up because I am worried since she has been so quiet. She is always happy to see me.

On the house front …

I have noticed when I work in the living room next to Gator my allergies are really on high. There has been a slight funny smell in the air and by Friday this week it got massively worse. I don’t know what death smells like exactly but I know it’s not Cinnamon, Spice and everything nice. First, I thought maybe since we have had a large abundance of rain and the snow fall that maybe my water problem returned, but I checked on that and nope, bone dry. All looks good, considering I did self-remediation. I looked outside at the only side that isn’t visible through a window. I thought maybe something happened over there. In deed it did, a large tree branch fell and hit my house. No apparent damage but I do have to get the branch removed. The odor in question can also be found in the basement, primarily in my office and above is my bedroom. So, it shifted to a different side of the house. I was coming home from grocery shopping today and it was a balmy 9 degrees outside. I took an extra close look and I saw a black cat. If it was dead surely that would account for the odor, but I had looked there before and didn’t see anything. I walked over and there it was I said hello and the damn thing ran away from me. Thank God it wasn’t dead. I don’t know who let it out or dumped it but they should be shot. It’s dangerously cold out and not meant for a cat to be outside, but I think back to the days of Taz (aka Little Bear) and he survived somehow. He also had sense enough to know when to come in out of the cold.

Anyway, back on point. I have no idea what the odor is. It turns my stomach and makes me nauseated. It’s not mold. I ran my o3 generating machine that will kill odors, smells and most anything in its path and the basement smelled really good yesterday. I also ran it in my room, keeping Gator out. I had to open the windows and let the smell of the o3 out and all was well for a while. Then came time for bed and the damn odor was back. I am mad, puzzled and frustrated. I am wondering if it’s not all in my head and I am imaging this. Still, I watched an endless amount of YouTube videos for how to rid your house of odors and picked up a couple tips. I got some scented baking soda that was labeled as carpet cleaner and that got the living room/kitchen smelling really good. I came up a little short when it was time to do my room but it did help some. I also opened up several windows, turned on both bathroom fans and forced air to circulate. As the air was circulating, I could smell the odor a little bit. It’s got to be something outside or something in the walls. I just want it to go away and never return as it’s making my life miserable.

Oddly enough I did get a text message this week from someone with a random company that claimed to want to buy my house. They knew my name, address and cell phone number. Granted nothing is impossible to find on the internet these days if you know where to look and what or should I say who you’re looking for. I’ve also noticed a large number of ads appearing in social media about local loft apartments that are for rent. This is no doubt due to the fact that I clicked on one of them a few weeks ago out of curiosity. I looked at another one last night and it was super small and from the floor plan it didn’t look like there was space allocated for a bed but they were nice enough to make room for a couch. The rent was sky high for this area. Yeah, moving would cure the smell and probably do wonders for my outlook on life and depression. However, I have a large amount of crap that I was left with and I have to have a place to put a good portion of it. There are somethings that are just not worth it and I would leave behind.

I know that I live in an average neighborhood where house prices are what I consider to be outrageous, considering what you’re getting. It’s a sellers’ market right now and maybe I should take that as a sign but instead I am hanging on to what I have at the moment.

I wish that I had a true friend that I could call that would come over and could not only help me sort through all of this crap but perhaps work on making this place as great if not greater than it was some 20 + years ago when I moved in. Right now, I want to keep what I have. I just want this smell gone and don’t want to loose my mind trying to make that happen. The house gets sprayed a couple times a year outside by skunks and even that odor is gone with in a couple days. It’s not pleasant but at least I know it’s temporary. What I am dealing with now makes me question if it’s going to go away or if I will have to figure out someone to call and pay $ to make it go away. I hope that I don’t have to make a call as that will likely be painful to the wallet not to mention what will be done to my home.

The big game …

Today is a special day for football fans. I am not one of those fans. I don’t mind looking at the players in their uniforms but outside of that there is no appeal. I also don’t understand football, meaning the rules of the game. I get that a touchdown or field goal gains points but that’s about the extent of my knowledge. Sports are generally not my cup of tea. However, looking at male players in various uniforms, regardless of the sport is appealing to me. I have no idea what I will be watching but I know there will be something that will capture my interest.

Speaking of games, I will be on-call next week and so not looking forward to that. Chained to a phone is not my idea of fun, but I do it for the $. We had a staff meeting this week and the meeting started out by informing everyone that there was no plan to return to the office anytime soon. Someone apparently wasn’t paying attention because at question-and-answer time they asked when are we going back. The answer was repeated. While I do look some what forward to going back, I rather enjoy working from home. I get to sleep in an extra hour, there is no traffic to fight and I have freedom to switch from work to personal and back again. I think it’s going to be a difficult thing for all of us when we get to that point but I also think that it will be much later this year, if not next year.

I hope you had a good week and I hope the week ahead is even better. Enjoy your Sunday regardless of how you’re spending it. If you’re a football fan, I hope your team wins the big game. I’ll talk with you peeps again soon. Be well!