Preverbal ton of bricks

Last night as I was wrapping up my work day, it hit me.  Tomorrow is the 27th.  I knew it was a special day but my mind drew a blank for a brief moment.  Then it came to me.  It’s my anniversary, exactly 3 months after my late partners Birthday.  I picked today so he couldn’t forget it.  While we were together for 20 plus years, we never officially celebrated an anniversary.  Then we make everything legal and 3 months later he dies.  Today would be our 3rd year.  Where exactly does the time go?  I’m a little bummed by the significant of the date and my mind won’t let me forget about it.  I miss him tons and he will always live in my heart, so long as the blood is flowing and I am of sound mind.

On to other news.  I made it to my vehicle which was semi-cozy but it still had a bit to go before it was warm.  Heater on full blast, heated seat on and down the road I went.  Got home and turned it off after closing the garage door.  I got out and it made this god awful noise.  I wonder if that is it’s way of saying it’s cold out?  It’s never made that sound before and hopefully it will never make it again but time will tell. 

I had this on going debate in my mind Soup or Chili?  I opted for Chili, from a can of course.  It was Campbell’s Chunky Roadhouse Chili.  To that I added 1 mild packet of Taco Bell hot sauce and 1 packet of Wendy’s Hot Chili Sauce.  Then into the microwave for a couple minutes and the fun begins.  I didn’t have sour cream but I did finally remember to get cheese [it’s only been 2 weeks].  I cracked open a fresh package of saltine crackers and crushed up some of them and then put in the cheese.  Stir and it was time to consume.  It made canned chili palatable and was rather good.  Nothing like Wendy’s chili but hey it was okay. 

Tonight will be Soup.  Beef Barley and I am so looking forward to it.  The only good thing about the cold is that all of the bugs outside are dead.  Outside of that it sucks, but it’s not my first winter.

Work had some busy time this morning but now that we have made it to late afternoon things are calm.  I got a call from HR and there is going to be some potential new hires that could start when we come back for the new year, if not then in a couple weeks.  Some employers are funny they will show you the door as soon as you show them your 2 week notice and others well they let you work the full 2 weeks.  I hope that someone smiles on me and I don’t have to rush on Friday to enter in 2 new hires.  I should know for sure then, but I don’t know what time.  I may not get to leave early as I have planned but we shall see what happens. 

I have prepped as much as I can for those folks that are leaving on the 31st.  I am ready for time away but it will be short lived and then I will be back in the thick of things.  My real time off will come during Martin Luther King Jr week.  Were closed on that Monday.  I work on Tuesday & Wednesday.  Then I will be off Thursday to see the doctor and Friday to get my vehicle serviced.  Plus the weekend so 4 days in a row off.  I won’t want to come back after that. 

Last night I got tied up with a computer problem.  I use a program called Emby it streams movies through my wireless network at home to my Roku boxes.  Most people use it to stream movies, not me I use it to stream porn.  Well turns out that there is an update that isn’t applying right, so the server shuts down and when I go to watch, nothing happens.  Yeah I know there is a pill for that but in this case it’s my computer that needs the pill and not me.  I digress, so when I go to run the update it tells me that the computers administrator has limited the programs that can run on the machine and this program is a security risk.  There is no override prompt, running it as an Administrator doesn’t work.  So I got to looking on the net.  Seems as if there is some extra protection from Internet Explorer that is enabled.  There are plenty of sites devoted to documenting how to turn this off for multiple versions of Windows, except for some odd reason Windows 10.  Of course I am the odd man out and running 10.  I love it but trying to navigate this little circus of a problem is driving me insane.  Momma was yelling at me that it was past my bed time but nothing could pry me away until I resigned myself that this will have to wait 1 more day.

My plan was pretty simple, remote in during a lull period an fix it from work.  Well now it seems that my PC isn’t on-line, which is rather odd.  It worked last night and I got to watch my porn from the comfort of my bedroom.  I checked and the internet is up because the cat cam works.  If only I could tell someone to go to the basement and reboot my machine I would be all set but there is a limited number of words that cats understand in the English language.  Hungry, Food, Snack, Vet, Bed, Out of the way and Knock it off are my cats limits.  I’m not happy about the situation but I’ll deal with it and I have no doubt I will fix the issue even if it takes me all weekend.  Funny thing is that I can install the software on my laptop here at work and it’s running similar software as my desktop at home.  Emby is a cool program and I have used it for at least a year if not slightly longer.  They have a pay tier where you get some extra bells and whistles like being able to stream anywhere there is an internet connection.  In my case that wouldn’t be beneficial but I can see how for movie buffs that would be a wonderful benefit. 

So now I sit and try to entertain myself without doing anything illegal or immoral.  There are fewer people here today than yesterday.  As we inch closer to Friday they will drop like files.  One guy came in because he had to and he was up all night with the flu and puking.  I don’t want it.  I mean I didn’t get a lot for Christmas but that is one thing I don’t want anytime of the year. 

Bundle up, stay warm and be safe.  I set the thermostat at 76 to keep the furry kids warm, so they won’t crab at me when I walk in the door about the temperature.  They will crab because they are hungry but that is the norm.  I’m off to play on my phone and look at hot guys and what is happening in social media.  2 more days of regular work in the week.  I’ll be working on Sunday as well but from the comfort of my own home.  How long I work is up to me and that depends on my mood which could be altered by many factors.  I’ll for sure be listening to the police scanner and hearing about all of the happenings on the roads.  It’s very interesting on a normal night, a holiday night well that makes for an even greater time. 

Cheers for now. 

I’m still here

Hard to believe that it’s been a little over a week since I posted anything.  Last week was a blur.  Plenty of stuff at work kept me busy and on Thursday all I wanted to do was go home.  I got to eventually but had to wait for my normal quitting time.  Some of the folks I used to support took me to lunch at Maggiano’s.  I got to try the Chocolate Bourbon Bread Pudding.  It was very good.  They wanted to talk shop with each other and consequently I felt like a 5th wheel.  Plus we were all jammed in a booth.  I appreciated the gesture it was very kind.  I tried to use a $10 coupon I had but they wouldn’t let me.  I figured that would offset the cost for dessert but they wanted to pick up the entire tab so I let them. 

Had my car at the shop on Friday.  The issues I had with Sync 3 drove me batty.  Things got bad and then on Friday when I went to take it for service the damn thing was dead, that was good news for me I got them to see it for their self.  As I suspected a software upgrade is what was the fix.  However, since this has been done I have had one instants where it couldn’t find my phone and another where it was severely delayed.  So I am monitoring it, I don’t think it’s 100% fixed but I do think that things are much better.  They checked all the fluid levels, the tires and detailed it yet again.  I got a loaner to drive around while they held my car hostage.  I am happier now but if we can go a month or two without any glitches then I will consider things solved. 

Yesterday I had my Christmas Dinner with my friends.  I ate Lamb and it was okay, nothing to write home about, just chewy and there really wasn’t any flavor.  I had some ham as well and enjoyed it much more.  This year they were putting on quite the show because her cousin was in town and she had to out do her.  All of the guests were under dressed including me.  However, I figured like everyone else a t-shirt and some jeans was proper attire.  If we were going out and it was a much more formal setting then I would have thought otherwise.  Got my usual $25 gift card for Maggiano’s.  I used the one from last year to take my brother to lunch.  This year it’s being spent on me.  Got my annual phone call from my mom, she left me a voice mail and was starting to loose it when she called, she pulled herself back together and by the end of the very short message she was in tears.  What is a holiday without a little drama, right?  I want nothing more than to sit down with her and explain why I have distanced myself, however the right time hasn’t come yet.  One day it will and it will be a weight off my shoulders, but until then I just forge forward which is all I can do. 

I have spent a lot of time with the cats and catering to them.  We have taken plenty of naps together and lounged around.  I was content today that I was going to get a bunch of stuff done, once I got home from grocery shopping I called it and we loafed on the couch and watched yet another movie.  Plenty of good stuff on Netflix as well as Amazon.  Paid to watch 2 movies.  One was War Dogs with Miles Teller.  It was very good!  I want to see Snowden with Joseph Gordon Levitt but it’s only available for purchase @ $14.99 that is until tomorrow and then you can rent it.  I think that will be something to watch on New Years Eve, if I can wait that long.  Right now I am longing for content as there isn’t a damn thing on.  Everything is on holiday shutdown and Football isn’t my idea of a good time. 

Tomorrow begins a long week of on-call for me, I don’t stop until next Tuesday.  I don’t anticipate this to be a busy week or weekend but one never knows for sure.  That is from my normal job perspective.  Friday will be a jumping day for me because that is when I have to process departures.  I know there will be some OT involved and I am perfectly fine with that.  This will also be the week that we get our last paycheck of the year.  They are 2 weeks behind, but it’s okay by me.  So long as I have earnings to give to my creditors then I am happy. 

There is no question that this time of year is super lonely for me.  I miss my late partner so very much.  I miss the cats that I have lost as well.  I just want the family to be together.  I remarked today that it was nice we were all within viewing distance of each other.  I said who knows if we will all be together this time next year.  I certainly hope so but I tend to look at things from a pessimist point of view.  Each one of those cats are special to me and while we have had our moments at the end of the day love wins.  Bear has now developed the same bad habit as his brother, he nibbles on my fingers.  It’s all cute and fun until he wants to use his canine teeth and that hurts, which is when I start yelling and he stops but only for a moment.  They all know they are loved but Bear and his mother show the most appreciation.  I certainly hope that were all together next year.  I also hope that I can find a guy to be with so that future holidays aren’t lonely.  Tomorrow would be our anniversary, exactly 3 months to the day after his birthday, setup by design by me.  Wednesday marks the anniversary of my grandmothers death.  This too I think will be a tough week but I know I will muster through some how.  I have managed to increase my spending as if physical possessions can take his place.  They can’t.  Nothing or no one can, this is a pain that there is no treatment for.  I just have to suffer through it.  I miss him all the time but the holidays it is much more pronounced and in my face.

I am partially through Home Alone and am going up to finish that with the kids and then to prepare for my return to work, which won’t be fun.  I know I’ll snap right back into things and I expect that everything will be low key and some what quiet but not totally silent. 

I didn’t get everything I wanted to done but maybe next weekend.  I just want to loaf and do nothing, love the time with the cats.  I did manage to wipe and restore my iPhone.  I freed up a bunch of space and have a little bit better performance from it.  Which is why I did it in the first place.  I was nervous about my 2 factor services but if you encrypt your backup with a password and go through iTunes you have nothing to worry about so long as your restoring to the same phone.  When I bite the bullet an upgrade that will likely prove to be a true challenge. 

Hope you had a very Merry Christmas.  Hang on just a few short days left of this miserable year, hopefully no one else dies.  George Michael was very much unexpected.  I’ll try to post from work but don’t be surprised or alarmed if it doesn’t happen.  I didn’t intentionally try to alarm anyone, it’s just that life got in the way.  That happens to all of us.  Here’s hoping for a great week ahead and that the blessings in 2017 outweigh those from 2016.  2017 I hope is a much better year for all of us and that it will be the year that I find a true boyfriend.  Not looking for anything other than companionship but hey we all have needs.  Yowza!  Talk with you all again soon.  Be well.

Anniversary

Today would have been our one year mark.  Just another day now.  I am very lonely.  Sadness, Depression and Grief come with that.  If I could help resolve that problem I think several of my other issues would disappear.  The lady I was talking with on Christmas told me not to date on-line instead do volunteer work.  She suggested Big Brother/Big Sister.  Tell them that I specialize in dealing with sexuality, if they have someone who is questioning that I could maybe help them.  Yeah, that’s all I need is to get a little brother and have the bastard accuse me of rape or fondling him, sorry I won’t be volunteering.  Besides that most (not all) straight people think that gay men are pedophiles.  It just smells like more trouble and I certainly don’t need that right now. 

I gave in to my desire and went to Bob Evans to have Chili.  It was good.  Then the waitress told me about Chocolate Bread Pudding turns out they don’t have it yet.  Ah, I wasn’t too happy.  Had a burger with my Chili and it was an okay meal for lunch. 

I went to get cat food afterwards and then had to decide if I wanted to go see a movie or go home.  I went for the movie but I talked myself out of it.  I was thinking of my car and really didn’t want to go right then.  I may go tomorrow or just wait for the streaming version. 

I saw previews for The Wolf on Wall Street and that sounds really good.  I may just opt to see it tomorrow, it’s playing close by.  The Madea movie would require me to travel a little bit.  Not so sure that it’s worth the trip, but I did tell myself that I would see it so who knows might do both.

Prior to hitting up Bob Evans I stopped at the post office.  All I have been getting for the past few days is junk mail.  Makes me want to stop going.  Argh!  There was a guy next to me having problems getting his car started.  I saw the HRC sticker on his bumper and figured he is probably gay.  His car would turn over just wouldn’t start.  Sounds like trouble.  He had a cell phone and was calling someone, you could tell he wasn’t too happy.  It would have been a great way to make an introduction, but I opted to let him figure it out.  I went back by the post office on my way to get the cat food and his car was still there.  I feel for him, car problems suck!

Speaking of which I got a call from the body shop today and they can’t fit me in until the 13th of Jan.  It’s like 2 weeks away.  They have to order the bumper which will take about a week to get in – I don’t believe that but that is what they are saying.  Then it will take them a couple days to paint the new bumper and finally install it.  I drop the car off on Monday and will be picking it up Wednesday or Thursday.  Now I have to ask for more time off, I’ve got it but didn’t plan on using it like this.  My thoughts are to ask about coming in late on Monday and telling my boss that I will need to leave at 2 or 3 in the afternoon to go get it.  He won’t like it but at least I will be at work and minimizing the time off. 

I did call AT&T about my home phone and wound up taking off a wire insurance policy that I was paying $8.99 for a month.  I didn’t even know it.  So there is a savings right there.  I stopped by the Cellular store and they tried to sell me a home security system.  There was a couple dollars I could save by modifying my plan but I would be giving up unlimited data and there would be no way to ever get that back again.  I didn’t see that it was worth it.  I did add an extra service months ago to block certain numbers from calling me, I removed that and will be saving $3.99 per month so that will help.  Just did the math a little bit ago to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming, the numbers work out.  I should have $200 per month that I am saving.  If that is the case that money will go to savings and that way if I need it, I can fall back on it.  My thought is to just deduct it at $100 per check and that way it is in savings out of sight but not out of mind. 

I called about my car payoff and it’s actually a couple hundred dollars more expensive than what I planned for.  It makes sense to pay it off since the loan is at 5.14% and I am not getting that kind of interest on my savings.  However, if I spend all of that money now and an emergency comes in to play I would be screwed.  So I am going to take the chickens way out and keep making the monthly payments.  At least for the time being  If my circumstances change well then I can always explore paying it off early.  I’d really like to trade in both vehicles for 1 brand new one.  Interest rates are back to 0% and that is really hard to pass up but I would be committing myself for another 4 or 5 years and right now that doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do.  My car is still young, low mileage and I have an extended bumper to bumper warranty.  Might as well keep what I have and call it a day. 

I have watched a fair amount of TV and Movies today.  One of which was all about Bipolar Disorder and people who suffer from it.  It was interesting, but kind of a time waster for me.  I was feeling low and that is why I decided to watch it.  Thinking maybe I would see someone worse off than me and that would cheer me up.  Kind of sick but well I did see those people and it didn’t cheer me up. 

This is the first Christmas and in 4 more months it will be a year.  The first year has been rocky so far.  I hope and pray that the second year gets better for me.  2014 just has to be better.  It doesn’t mean that I will stop missing him or forget about him but since it’s time we are talking about it should help somewhat to heal the wound.  My heart is still very much broken and I am still very much grieving my loss.  Each new added problem that life throws at me makes me wonder if this will be the breaking point.  I honestly want to quit my job, but I know I can’t.  I also want to kill myself because it hurts so much and I am so tired but no amount of rest seems to help me recover from the loss.  I am mad at myself for not seeing the signs and trying to stop this (but that is hindsight).  I am mad at him for not taking his medicine like he should have or at least letting me help him so that this wouldn’t have happened.  However, deep down I know that if this was his time and if he was doing everything right he still would have died it’s just the cause and means would have been different.  I keep telling people that the cats are my motivation.  I am pretty sure they can survive without me, provided they make it to a good shelter or a good home.  The problem is no one really checks on me I would be laying dead here for what could easily be up to a month.  Work would freak but I can’t say that they would have enough sense to call the police or my emergency contact.  If they did then it would only be a matter of days that I would lay here. 

I think of what type of scar that would leave on whomever found me.  I think of what it would do to my mother and brother.  The problem is I don’t have enough friends.  I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I hear that it gets better but thus far it isn’t getting better for me.  It’s not just the battle with the mortgage company and the bankruptcy it’s the loss it’s self and the pain that goes with it.  The people in big business who don’t give a damn but will tell you that they are sorry for your loss.  They may be sorry but their actions and in actions speak louder.  I realize they all have jobs and need to keep them.  However, when some one dies the rules should be broken – death should wipe the slate clean and everything be forgiven. 

I keep thinking maybe I should start picking and playing the lottery on a regular basis that I could surely win.  Yeah if I was the only person in the world playing that would probably be true but there are tons of people I am competing against and the odds are better that I will get struck by lighting or run over by a car when I cross the street than winning the lottery.  However, people have done it before.  I hate to say this but I feel like I am owed.  I know in reality I am not owed anything.

The only thing that would be solved if I died would be that my partners son, the bankruptcy court and the mortgage company would all duke it out and get it settled.  This place would be sold.  Outside of my car I am not in any serous debt and my savings today would pay for my funeral as well as all of my bills. 

Yeah I’ve really thought this out and have been wanting to write about it for a while but suppressed it.  The longer you hold things in the more they fester and grow.  Let it out so that is what I am doing, letting it out.  It’s all just words…right now I am still waiting, hoping and praying that things get better.  Don’t worry about me taking my life, for the moment it’s NOT going to happen I have too much of a vested interest to see how things are going to work out. 

Shifting gears.  Last night I found a porn movie that I have been waiting to see.  It’s called Dad Gets In To Trouble.  It stars Devin Moss who is very well endowed.  He just does it for me.  Seeing him in action well that is worth it for me.  I’ve also come to realize that my vice is porn.  Well maybe food and porn.  I am an addict and if I ever do find the right guy I am wondering if I can exist without porn.  Right now it’s all good and provides a great release for me.  Watching Don Jon the other day I realized when I am watching porn all of my problems fade away – it’s just me and the screen I am not thinking about money, my loss, a sick cat, my job or anything else.  I am thinking about the guys on the screen and well you get the idea. 

We have 4 days left in this crummy, crappy year.  I hope that they go by fast and that I don’t have any further problems.  I hope that like the Christmas song says my troubles will be out of sight. 

Crappy Anniversary to me.  I miss my guy more than I can put into words.  I really wish he were here with me in good health.  I’d give back every cent I received and then some just to be with him again and be happy.  I mean he is all I have known for the better part of my life.  He was my rock and he is gone now.  I believe that he is watching over me and trying to look out for me.  I know that I am keeping my promise in making him proud in that I am making things work here by keeping all of us (me and the cats) together.  I am trying to make the best out of a shitty situation and I know that he didn’t leave me willingly, it was simply his time.  I know that he loved me more than anyone on earth because he told me so each and everyday.  I thought it was sappy, cheesy and took it for granted.  Now that he is gone I appreciate the fact that he expressed those feelings each and every day.  The last 6 months or possibly longer we got closer and exchanged I love you’s much more frequently.  I am grateful that I was able to spend so many years with him and that I was always there when he needed me.  I was his rock as much as he was mine.  We covered each others back no matter what and now I am on my own.  I must say that while I am not happy things turned out the way they did I am glad that I am the one who survived like we planned.  I know that he would have went to shit if I went before him and things around here would really have fallen apart.  He would have probably been dead within the first three months.  He always told me that he couldn’t live without me.  I told him the same.  However, I am living now.  I just wish that we could communicate, not being able to talk with him is the hardest part ever.  I still miss my lunch time phone calls and waking him up in the morning chatting about what was going to be for supper.

If you have read this far, I must thank you for sticking with me.  I know this post is all over the place but it’s a very emotional day for me.  Last year at this time I was so happy, who would have thought a year later my life would change so drastically.  I am glad that we got the Civil Union it was money very well spent.  I didn’t know why we both got choked up when we said “until death do us part” but I get it today just like I got it back in April when he passed. 

If you take away only one thing from this post – I want it to be that life is precious and if you have a wife, a husband, a lover, a partner, a significant other – someone who means something to you tell them today how much you love and appreciate them.  Cherish every moment with them the good times as well as the bad.  At least you are together.  That is what this whole experience has taught me, among other things. 

Now if I could just break out of this depression and grief – laugh and smile more, eat a little less and spend a whole lot less I think that my problems would figure themselves out.  However, until that happens I will continue to worry and watch to make sure that things get dealt with as they need to be.

It struck me at Christmas when a 6 year old said the blessing and ended it with Thank you Jesus for my life.  I didn’t realize it but he was born 3 months premature and wasn’t supposed to make it.  That was shock and awe, that touched me so very much.

Okay, I’m going to call and end to this and get ready for bed.  I have to get to the pharmacy tomorrow to get the kids medicine but that doesn’t mean I need to be up at the crack of dawn.  I just have to tell that to them.  :)   Thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you peeps later.

Sleep with me

So my plans for Friday worked out great. I got my hairs cut, had a mediocre shampoo. The lady just didn’t know how to work her fingers. I came home and we went for pizza. I have 3 slices left over to remind me of the experience! We came home and hours went by, eventually I washed my guys’ hair and put in conditioner. I have never met anyone that had so much trouble getting shampoo out of his hair. He thinks he is rinsing it all out but he isn’t. Plus he needs to use conditioner because the shampoo he is using dries out the scalp; it’s more of a stripper. I’ve got a feeling that I will be washing his hair more often. As long as I am in the mood, it’s no problem. It’s one thing I can do that I know for sure he will enjoy and there won’t be any complaints. Yup, I give great head. You just had to know I was going to say that.

Before retiring for the evening he reminded me that we need to get his vehicle inspected tomorrow. Great, I thought for sure I would over sleep. However, we made it with plenty of time. This was the first time that I have seen a waiting line at the testing station. I also thought for sure he would fail but nope, he passed with flying colors. They go totally off the on-board computer, which is a change from years past.

After the testing, we grabbed breakfast. I ate like a pig but it was good. Then out for a little drive and then home. I crashed for a little bit. Woke up and a friend of mine called. We chatted and then he reminded me that the grocery stores are closed on Easter Sunday. Crap, we had to go to the store today. So after I got off the phone I told my guy and we dashed off to the store.

As we were headed over, he broke the news to me that we were invited to some friends for Easter. Great, not how I wanted to plan my day. Worst of all it’s not until late in the afternoon. That totally screws up everything. Hopefully we won’t stay too long, but honestly I don’t want to go at all.

We came home and I put the groceries away, then we dashed off to get a bite to eat. He wanted to go to Cracker Barrel and I didn’t fight him at all. I was hoping that the cute guy who is a host would be working. Sure enough, he was there. The food was just okay. Service was quick and our glasses were never empty for long.

Once we returned home I started on laundry and research. The research was to find the cute guys last name. I am getting closer but I am also starting to think he might not be on social networking. Right now it’s a challenge for me and if I ever get to solve it, I will feel so good.

I got a phone call from my guy who wanted to know if our Civil Union License was just like a marriage license. I said it affords us some of the rights that straight people have and it’s the closest thing that we can get right now to a marriage license. I guess he got to thinking about our vows and it just struck him that we were “married”. Duh, I’ve been saying it all along. He keeps talking about me leaving him and I always tell him I am not going anywhere, despite how crazy he drives my ass. I want to kill him sometimes but I love him and can’t imagine life without him. He has been with me for half of my life. At this point it would be like losing a limb.

So he is scared and he wants me to sleep with him tonight. He said that he needs me. Yeah, I don’t need to get peed on. I remember those days oh too well and I am glad they are gone. Expounding on that, when I was growing up I had a bed wetting problem. No doubt it was from the physical abuse. It continued until I was about 20 or 21, then magically it just went away. Now if I have to go, I wake up. I don’t always get up but typically if I ignore my bladder the urge just gets worse and eventually I have to get up. If his room wasn’t such a disaster, I would do what my grandmother used to do. Lay down and relax until I was sure he was passed out cold, then get up and go sleep in my own bed. I am worried about getting sick, plus getting no sleep since he likes to sleep with his machine off and snores like a freight train. Sleeping with him right now will be about as much fun as going to that stupid meal tomorrow. I want to relax and not have my life planned out for me by others.

The kids are all happy that I am home. Jumper and I had a pretty good night. He is such a snuggle bug at times. Everyone here wants a piece of me. Shy Girl begged me to pet her. I suspect there will be a full moon soon, either that or she is getting sick. Normally she is like drop the food on the floor fat boy and leave. I will take care of the rest. See that just proves that cats have staff, while dogs have owners. Still I love them all, even though they cost me so much money! As I type, they are wanting their evening snack. It started with a nice reminder from Momma. Then one of her daughters came down. Pretty soon I will see one or two more. They know what they want and when they want it. It’s just a matter of convincing me to give in, which normally is not a huge task at all.

Switching gears, I ordered my annual credit reports. I was shocked that my car loan was listed as a part of my bankruptcy on two reports. I have disputes filed to get that changed. I reaffirmed the debt, which means that I am legally responsible for it, so they should continue reporting to help me build my credit back. Speaking of cars, I got a mailer from the dealer. Go for a test drive and they will give me $20 off of any service I have done. If I buy a car they will give me an extra $500 and they are offering 0% financing for 60 months. Yeah, it’s a great time to buy a car. However, you have to qualify for that 0% and I doubt seriously that I would, given the bankruptcy. I do monitor my credit through Credit Karma and things are looking up for me. I just have to get the two credit cards I have paid off with a 0 balance each month, and then I will be doing really well. Paying them off should be a reality in one to two more months. The sooner, the better.

It’s been an entire week since I shaved, I like the look around Wednesday and Thursday. After that it just starts itching so bad and it’s time to cut it all off. I don’t think I will EVER have a beard because I can’t get past the itchy part. Besides that the hair on your face can hold allergens like dust, mold, etc. Which could explain those days when my nose flairs up. I am just getting lazy and I only do the minimum during the week. My get up and go, got up and went a long time ago.

Speaking of which, it’s probably time that I got up and went. I hope that you all have a very happy Easter and get to enjoy your weekend. Don’t eat too much ham. Be safe and I will talk with you peeps later.

1 Hour Less

So it’s official now, we have 1 hour less in our lives.  That is unless you live in AZ.  I woke up 3 times this morning.  1st by Big Boy, 2nd by his Brother and 3rd by my bladder.  I got out of bed around 10:15.  Fed the kids, shaved, showered and my partner got going as well.  We ventured out a little after 11 and got a bite to eat.  Then went to the grocery store in the rain.  Spent way too much money.  We have our Corned Beef & Cabbage for next Sunday.  The house is going to smell.  If it’s fixed right I will eat Corned Beef as a sandwich, but it’s got to be moist, fresh and I have to be in the mood.  I gassed up the car.  Came home unloaded the groceries, continued laundry and watched a couple episodes of House of Cards.  I was tired and dozed off a couple times.  It’s getting good!

I left the house to mail some letters and stopped off to get us some ice cream.  Then back home.  More House of Cards and laundry.  Then I got the trash prepped to carry out tomorrow.  Fed the kids and here I am blogging away. 

We talked about taxes and it sounds like we are going to seek counsel from a tax preparer to find out about filing our state taxes.  I’ve got everything in an envelope in my room ready to go.  So not excited about this.

Now I am finding myself engrossed in House of Cards and I’m passing on all of my other TV shows.  My DVR is full to the brim and is starting to delete stuff because I haven’t watched it.  However, once I start something I like to see it through and this series is like a good book, I just don’t want to put it down.  Must finish!  At least I am getting benefit from my Netflix subscription.  Tonight I have to see Shameless, that is like a MUST for Sunday but I’m not sure that I will watch anything else but that and House of Cards. 

I was a bad boy and went on-line shopping at Amazon again.  Got to make the most of my prime membership.  It started innocently enough with a pro biotic for the cats and then I was buying soap, hair care, underwear and jeans.  I really need a pair of jeans.  Most of my jeans are 5 years or older and starting to sprout holes in all the wrong places.  Not something you want to be seen wearing to work.  At least I will be happy to open packages when they arrive.  Shy Girl will be happy about the pro biotic, she loves that stuff.  I found it on line cheaper than getting it from the vet, plus with Prime I get free shipping.  So it was a no brainer.  When I start digging around Amazon I usually wind up with a big shopping cart full of stuff.

I’ve made my way through the house setting all of the clocks that didn’t set themselves.  I haven’t taken care of my partners truck, but will tell him so he doesn’t freak out.  I know that would seriously mess with me come tomorrow morning if I got in the car and saw the wrong time.  Thankfully I can always look at one of my cell phones to find the correct time.  I’m dragging and by bedtime I will probably be fully awake.  That’s just my luck.

Oh yeah, if I didn’t mention it remember my Certified Letter to the crazy Dr. I saw a few weeks back?  Yeah, they haven’t signed for it yet.  I think they just tell the mail person skip it today.  That tells me that he is probably expecting legal action of some sort, I mean why would a Dr. shy away from signing for a letter?  So I mailed a copy of the letter by 1st class mail, it will be delivered on Monday.  Perhaps that will prompt them to claim the Certified Letter, since they will know it’s only a letter from me and not an attorney.  See this only reinforces me to believe that I made the right call.

I really want to write the crazy female doctor I saw as well, not by certified mail but I figure we had no follow up appointment scheduled.  She asked me to get some blood work done.  When the blood work doesn’t come, she doesn’t get my medical records, she will soon realize that I decided to move on.  Besides that she was only going to be at that place for another month anyway, so chances are pretty good that I will be lost in the shuffle or so I hope.

Never really though I would say this, but I sure miss my Debit Card.  Not that I have much money to spend but it would have made me feel better to pay cash for things like Gas, Ice Cream – you know little things.  I hope the new card arrives next week.

This past week I noticed a theme, it was chill.  I mean super relaxed.  I had moments of stress but for the most part over all speaking each day was pretty relaxed.  I sure hope that continues for the foreseeable future.  I would also really like it if the boss man left me alone.  I’ve got plenty to keep me busy.  One of the questions I was asked in a previous post is when am I due for a review and raise.  That would be in May.  I am sure it will not happen on time, everything there is late and well in sorts this would be a bill and I’ve told you they pay everything super late.  I hope it will happen by June but my gut says August.  Only time will tell.

So back to tending to the laundry, getting ready for Monday and TV time tonight. Sunday was a little better than Saturday and at least there was no arguments.  I just realized I forgot to take my evening pills, got to go do that.  Not sure why but lately my stomach has been all screwed up, I guess too much chill makes my stomach freak out.  I just hope it’s not the calm before the storm.

Here’s to having a great week, better traffic and quicker/faster moving days.  Talk with you peeps later!

Taxes = Anger

As you can probably gather, we worked on our taxes today.  Our Civil Union has caused us a small nightmare in taxes.  We use Turbo Tax.  They want you to create a fake joint Federal Return, which you DO NOT file.  This is so that we can file our State return.  You file a Single Return for Federal since Civil Unions aren’t recognized by the Federal Government.  This whole thing started an argument not only between us but at the system.  It’s just a confusing mess.  I said if I would have known this would happen I wouldn’t have gone through with the Civil Union.  However, it’s water under the bridge now.

The next surprise came when I figured out why Turbo Tax was so cheap this year.  Basically I paid for software that you can get on-line for free.  However, it didn’t include the states, as it normally does.  So I had to purchase 2 of them at $42.49 each.  DAMN. 

Then we still have the dilemma of what to file and what I actually owe.  I get a very small refund from the feds but have to pay my state plus the state I work in a small fortune.  I wish we would just do away with taxes they are such a pain in the ass.

We are probably going to have to seek counsel from a Tax Professional, which means spending even more money.  Why do simple things have to be so complicated?  If the Feds would just allow gay marriage all of this bullshit would go away.  However, it’s just another way they can screw us.  For all I know there is probably some extra tax for people in a Civil Union or at least I am sure more paperwork.  Which if you pay a tax pro by the page can get expensive. 

Right now the best thing we both can do, is walk away from it.  Let it rest and then we can come back and visit it with clearer minds.  I still feel like I am treated like a 2nd class citizen by our government. 

Last night we went to Captain D’s for supper.  It was pretty good.  Plus this nice fresh farm boy walked in.  Measurements 34 waist and 34 leg.  Wearing a 569 pair of Levi’s.  Too bad it’s wasn’t 269 because I would have asked him if he wanted to.  My partner didn’t really like him but I thought he was fine.  It was a good meal indeed.

Then I started watching House of Cards on Netflix.  Damn that is one addictive series.  I’ve got a couple others that I want to get into, but 1 at a time.  This is all about how corrupt Washington is and it is very well written.  Not sure how much of what I see is true and how much is pure BS but it makes for interesting TV.  I didn’t want to go to bed, but eventually I just gave up.

Not much was accomplished today.  I’m going to start laundry, dishes and try to clean up a little bit before I go to bed.  Because we loose a whole hour tonight.  I hate Spring forward but it will mean more daylight driving, which I like – saves the headlights.  Plus spring will bring way to the rain, a fresh new summer and more money for Lawn Boy.  Yup most everything is about money.

I so need a vacation from everything – home, work and life in general.  However, that will never happen.  So I will just find a way to make the best of it. 

I did figure out a cool thing with my iPhone.  If you have one look at Settings – General – Accessibility – go to the Hearing section at the bottom.  Turn on LED Flash for Alerts.  Then go back to the home screen.  Hit the power button to turn your screen off.  Then either send yourself an e-mail message or call your phone.  You will notice that your flash blinks when you get anything that generates an alert – which would be a phone call, text, etc.  I think it’s cool.  If you can’t hear then it can be especially helpful.  I turned it on for my partner and hope that it helps him out a lot.

I got my long term prescription for my sleeping pills in the mail.  I also got some additional medicines that I have been asking for a while.  Mailing off the prescription on Monday and it will take about 2 to 3 weeks before it shows up.  Wow, so much red tape for a silly piece of paper. 

Except for supper the other night and the iPhone tip, this is a pretty depressing post.  I think I should get with the program and start chores.  Plus I really need a shave.  Haven’t had one since last Sunday and man I’ve got a beard going.  You can see white or grey on my face and I really don’t like that.  I see it in my hair as well but it’s more subtle there.  Hopefully my color doesn’t turn on me.  I don’t want to be a white/grey haired person no matter what my age.  Besides that I’m told I am still very young.  :)

Hope your prepared for time change and that your weekend is going better than mine.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

United

Today went well, despite the fact that work bothered the crap out of me.  I didn’t have a chance to take a shower, had to get dressed at the last minute.  We made it to the courthouse with plenty of time to spare.  Paid one of the very last fees for this privilege.  Then waited for a while on the judge. 

After about 20 minutes he called out our names, we walked back to an empty court room and sat at a table.  The judge asked us to hold hands.  Then he talked a little bit, then had us recite vows to each other.  Then a second set of vows after a short speech.  I was about to cry but managed to control it.  Then we were pronounced a united partnership.

Left the courthouse and headed to Olive Garden.  Had to sit at the bar because they were crowded.  Got a hot looking guy to wait on us.  I have always liked his face, got a closer look at his body and wow I’d pass on that.  Anyway, we had a decent meal.  Then headed home.

I called my mom to tell her the good news, she was pleasantly surprised but I was told how disappointing it was that she wouldn’t be a grandma.  I told her that’s just life.  I’m doing good to manage the cats, my partner and myself.  Throw a kid into the mix and I would probably loose it.  My brother won’t be having children either because he has no one to procreate with.  His time is all used up between work and taking care of mom.  So I told her she has grand kittens that was as much of a grandma as she would be.

Then she told me how my brother was taking her pain meds and he is addicted.  Now I don’t know if this is TRUE or if it’s another Psychotic delusion.  It’s possible I know he is at his wits end between his job, home life and the fact there is no time for a social life.  I of course was sworn to secrecy so I’m not supposed to discuss it with him.  Not exactly sure what I am going to do.  It bothers me but I am not dwelling on it. 

I’m back to doing laundry.  One more working day off for me and then we have the weekend, then it’s back to work.  Feel pretty much like I never left.  I am used to nap time though.  That might be a problem come Monday!

Thank you all for your well wishes.  I am glad we had the privilege to be able to be joined to each other.  Perhaps with the Supreme Court taking up the debate of same sex marriage we may be able to convert our partnership into a full fledged marriage.  Stay tuned, we will find out together!

Talk with you peeps later.

The Babble Post

Ready for some babble?  Break out the Cookies & Milk because this will be a long post!

Friday… I went in to the office like a normal day.  It was anything but a normal day!  When I got there I discovered the computer that I dropped everything to rebuild wasn’t there.  WTF!  I sent an e-mail and was told …oh she forgot to bring it in.  Dizzy woman.  So I got a machine ready for a person who is in dire straights.  She will have it on Tuesday.  I had a voice mail and responded to that and then e-mail just started pouring in like a river.  I helped out a couple people.  The last person I called said that she didn’t have time and we would have to take care of it next week.  I told her that I was out of town and that didn’t seem to phase her she said oh, honey it can wait until next week.  I explained again I won’t have time and then she wanted to argue.  Okay, so we can take care of it next week.  I just told her what she wanted to hear so I could hang up!  I am not helping her next week, I will be far too consumed with this project and any other crisis that pop up.  Thinking I had covered all of the bases and double checking myself, I had everything taken care of so it’s time to leave.  It’s around 1:30pm.

I am about five miles from home when mister black berry decided to vibrate.  It’s the place I am going to next week.  The administrator has flipped her lid and sent out a message to me, my boss and tons of other people to scream the sky is falling, our hr person has no computer and she won’t be able to make payroll on Monday.  Holy crap, that is not exactly what I needed to hear.  I got the mail and took my sweet time getting home.  Once I got here I sprang into action and called the HR person.  We worked everything out and payroll will be taken care of on Monday.  So crisis averted once again!  I sent out a message to everyone letting them know everything was okay.  It was about 3pm now.  I decided to rest.  I got a 1/2 hours nap and then something woke me up.

My partner kept yelping about being hungry.  So we packed up and went to the shop to check on his vehicle.  They were working on it and I was told it would be ready but it would be closer to 6.  Okay, so we ate at that Italian place.  Turns out they are Greek, American and Italian all on one.  The appetizers and salad were amazing.  They suck at making Spaghetti.  It was a $50 meal that really wasn’t worth it.  However, I can scratch it off my bucket list.  Then we went back to the shop and they told me that they found another hose that was leaking so they went ahead and replaced it.  The bill was $50 higher.  Yeah, okay so I dropped a little bit over 1k on his vehicle.  Not exactly in my plans but it beats investing in a constant supply of Power Steering Fluid and wondering when or if the pump would fail.  The axle wasn’t replaced, I was mistaken it was the ball bearings that needed to be replaced.  The ride is quiet compared to what it used to be.  He needs a 4 wheel alignment really bad.  Plus an oil change.  Merry Christmas!!

Friday night and Saturday… I watched Dateline because there was an update on Ryan Fergusons case and how the judge dismissed his request for a new trial, despite overwhelming evidence that shows he is innocent.  Poor Ryan still in jail for something he didn’t do.  Hopefully, one day he will be free.  I took a technology break and just decided to spend the evening with the kids.  Damn computers make me sick after pounding on them all day long and staring into a screen.  Just needed to have some down time.  I slept in on Saturday and had some left over pie for breakfast.  Once the sugar wore off, I crashed and went back to bed.  Woke up around noon.  We travelled to a place to eat and I got loaded up with chili.  If you need me tomorrow I will be in the bathroom.  Anyway, it was a nice afternoon and good to get away. 

The topic we were discussing is my vacation request.  Friday I put in my request to my boss.  He was busy on e-mail so I figured I would get a quick reply, I could turn in the paperwork and it would be done.  Instead, he provided no response.  Which makes me wonder if once I get this next place up and running, if he has other plans for me.  Like putting me back on the street.  Probably not, but I don’t trust him and doubt that I ever will.  I just hope I am not being used to get WIFI going and then I am going to be dumped.  Not much I can do about it.  One of my friends said oh, he is probably waiting until you get back and tell him everything is working.  All I know is I won’t be there on the 27th, if I have to call in sick I will.  Since we get 2 of the 5 days off for the holiday, I am only asking for 3 days and with all of the hell he has put me through this year I certainly deserve it.  I don’t anticipate a Christmas bonus, since I turned down the company trip.  I think the trip was their form of a bonus for everyone.  Since I didn’t go then it’s my tough luck.  However, as much as I was pestered on Thursday & Friday there was no way I would have had time for fun.  Even when I am “on vacation” I will still have to have this damn phone strapped to my side.  Too bad they don’t allow electronics in the courthouse…I will be out of reach for at least 1 hour. 

All I know is like the last trip, I will be glad when this is all over with.  Next week at this time I probably will be worn out but much happier!

Back to Saturday, I went out for cat food and then came home.  Here I am working on guess what…Laundry of all things and blogging.  Wow, what an exciting life I lead!

My face is driving me crazy, it itches so bad.  I haven’t shaved since Sunday and I am having serious doubts that I will be able to make it to tomorrow.  I like shaving once a week, in fact the whole idea of not shaving at all and growing a beard is appealing BUT I can never ever get past the itching stage.  Right now is mild, compared to if I let it go.  Next week I would be looking for a drug store pretty quick!  Not a problem I want to take with me.  I have plans to veg out in front of the TV after I tidy up the house a bit and do some more laundry.  Plus I need something to eat and drink, my body is asking polite now.  I’m thinking water and ice cream or maybe root beer & ice cream.  Either way ice cream is in the picture. 

I did my research and the weather next week will be pretty much like it is here at home.  Starts out cold and then warms up to 50 or 60.  It’s like being in CA or FL this time of year.  Normally we are cold and it never gets above 40.  Strange weather. 

Plans for Sunday… I have to pack, print my boarding passes and prepare myself for going back on the road again.  I hate saying goodbye to home, my partner & the kids.  However, it’s only a week and they have survived before.  Plus it’s the last trip of the year.  Hopefully I don’t go back on the road until Spring at least, but time will tell.

Now on to something that has been eating away at me.  Over the past week I have watched several gay themed movies.  One of which was about a boy who’s parents tried to convert him to being straight.  Some people apparently still think that being gay is a mental defect.  When the truth of the matter is you have no choice in the matter.  It would be sort of like picking your parents.  From the teenage years and on ward, we start making decisions.  I have never heard of someone who wanted to be gay or wished they were gay. 

Gay people are just that, people.  The only thing different about us is the fact that we are attracted to the same sex.  As long as we are happy, I think the rest of the world should support us.  Times are changing but we still have a very long way to go.

Trying to de-homosexualize a gay person is like trying to get a Zebra to change his stripes.  It’s not going to happen!  Not because we don’t want it but because it is truly impossible.  Yes, I know there are people who claim they have been “cured” but they are just repressing their sexual desires.

I worked with a guy who was gay.  He was a minister, married and had two kids.  He has a rocking body and I was so attracted to him.  I could pick up that he was gay so I asked him about it.  He just told me that the bible says it’s wrong and he really enjoyed making sweet love to his wife.  Yes, he looked at guys and was still attracted to them but he decided that wasn’t for him.  Today he is still married but I honestly don’t think he is happy.  We don’t keep in touch and drifted far apart after I left that job.  There are other people just like him who choose to live as “straight” people when they are really gay.  If that makes them happy, then so be it.

What everyone fails to realize is that we are humans just like them.  No better, no worse.  Gay people come in all shapes and sizes.  We have the same general interests as you – some of us like sports, hunting, computers, cars, books, etc.  We are employed and unemployed.  Some of us have homes, others of us are homeless.  Being gay is not a disease, a mental defect, a lifestyle or even for that matter a choice.  It’s how we were born.

For most gay people, we struggle but eventually come to terms with our sexuality and who we are.  If we can come to terms with it, then why can’t the rest of the world?  Growing up gay isn’t easy.  You have taunting, teasing, and even in some cases get into fights when people figure it out or even suspect.  If your lucky enough to hide it, then you have to listen to fag jokes, which isn’t easy either. 

I could go on and on about this, but feel I have made my point.  Eventually equality for all will be as common place as the sun, but until it is we will just have to keep fighting the good fight. 

As for gay marriage, there are only a few states in the Union that allow for true marriage.  Most and my state included provide Civil Unions.  I don’t understand why we can’t call it marriage.  It angers me and makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen.  In most cases you are afforded all of the same legal rights as a traditional married couple but you are singled out by the government calling it a Civil Union.  Once we are “united” it will be recognized as long as we are in our state.  However, both of us travel to a neighboring state for medical care and over there it’s not recognized.  So you have to have Power of Attorney for Property & Healthcare as well as forming things like a Living Revocable Trust to protect your assets.  It’s just absolute madness at the extra steps we have to take to make sure that we are 100% covered from a legal standpoint.  These are steps that a traditional married couple need not take.  In summary it’s just not fair!

The one thing that I thought was nice, when we registered we are both afforded the opportunity to change our last name to make it the same as a married couple would.  Personally, I would like to change mine but then I think of all of the complications I would have to go through.  You have to tell your bank, get a new drivers license, a new social security card, tell your employer, inform all of your creditors and the list goes on and on.  So while it’s appealing neither one of us will be changing our names because we think in the long run it would cause far more problems than it would solve.  It’s also uncommon for men to change their last names.  I have worked with people who did change their last name or they adopted their husbands name so they had a hyphenated last name.  Like John Smith – Jones.  Yeah, that’s not classy to me and it begs some people to inquire why do you have two last names?  Not to mention you still have to go through all of the legal mumbo jumbo with the name changing process.

On a different note, I did have something else to babble about but since I am getting old my mind is going.  I just have way too much going on and I know it’s a stress thing, rather than an age thing.  However, lucky for you I thought of another subject.

What I like about travel.  I enjoy the fact that I have to make decisions for myself like where I am going to stay, what I am going to eat and the part I like about that is there is no one else to get approval from.  I enjoy the peace and quiet. I enjoy being able to see new places and experience things like flying and having a hotel room all to myself.  I also enjoy the fact there is no one watching my every move from a work standpoint.  I mean I know I am being watched but it’s just that obvious, so I can relax and be a bit more comfortable in my own skin.

What I don’t like about travel is the fact that I know the boys aren’t getting their medication.  The fact that it’s harder on my partner because he has to do things like dishes and take out the trash, as well as try to keep up with the children.  He fully appreciates what I do when he has to walk a mile or two in my shoes.  I don’t like the fact that I don’t get to see the kids.  I can see my partner via Face Time or Skype.  We can talk via phone or computer.  He understands that it’s only temporary.  The kids don’t.  After about a day they all start looking for me, where is he, where did he go and when or is he coming back.  I also don’t enjoy packing, going through security, having to check my bag and flying coach. 

So it’s a love/hate thing but I will get through it.  I was really uncomfortable with the idea at first but hey I needed a job.  Now that I have done it couple times, I discover that it’s kind of enjoyable.  I just wish I could come home at night!

So how were those Milk & Cookies?  I told you that you would need them!  Now it’s off to launder and clean.  Not sure how much time I will have but I will at least make time to let you know that I made it and am okay.  If you don’t see a post like that, then you should probably worry! Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

Check

Plans for Thursday are to get my car serviced. Just routine maintenance, nothing special. To eat at an Italian place that I have always wanted to stop at. Hopefully, to file for our Civil Union license. Not too much for one day, right?

- Car Service…Check

- Italian Place…Still need to complete

- File for Civil Union…Check

Not only did we file, we set a date.  The 27th of December and a judge will do the honors.  Now all I have to do is get time off from work.  I figure better to try to take the week of Christmas because there are plans for the new system to go live on Jan 1, which is why I am flying all over the US installing WIFI Networks.  I figure I will be pestered more and needed for tech support, plus I am the Security Administrator of the new system so there will be password issues, no doubt!  I hope my boss gives it to me.  I will be putting in the request tomorrow.  Your thinking, wait a minute, you are supposed to be off tomorrow.  Right but I now have 2 machines to configure.  One is important and the other well she is desperate her machine sounds like a jet about to ready for take off.  So it will be a busy day for me tomorrow, I may cut out early and go back on Saturday.

When my guy picked me up from the dealer, he said we need to get some power steering fluid.  I put some in the back for that very reason.  So I added it and that took care of the noise.  I asked at the dealer what it would cost and they said $500 for a new pump.  Crap, okay I said lets get it in.  They were full up today and tomorrow.  However, since we are regulars and we have become friends with one of the guys, he worked it in.  They called late this afternoon and said that not only will he need a new Power Steering Pump but the rear axle needs to be replaced.  It’s critical to keep the thing running.  Damn.  Okay so were doing the whole thing and it’s going to cost me just under $1,000.  He needs an oil change but I will let him take care of that on his own.  Merry Christmas, now I am back in Credit Card Debt.  The good news is the card it’s going on has a 0% offer until mid next year.  So I have the option to slowly pay it off.  I get cash back rewards for every purchase so this should help me rack up a reward which I will ask for a statement credit.  Ugh, I will never get to save any money if crap like this keeps happening.  I am also too nice and want to take care of him, but financially it is killing me!  I also found out that my tires are wearing and I and I will need to replace them in the future.  Yeah, like lets hope that is next year.  Right now I’ve got more than I can handle.

Yesterday on the way home I stopped off at a local pharmacy to look for color glaze for my hair.  I’ve got a bottle in the shower and since I saw a little white, I have been diligent in using this stuff to help polish my look and hopefully hide the white.  They didn’t have it.  So I looked on line.  I don’t remember paying $50 for it last time, but that is what I paid for it this time.  Damn, being vain is expensive! 

I got a mailer from Beauty Brands and they have nail polish on sale.  The nicest color of purple and a good red.  Both are O P I Nail Lacquer.  I’d love to get them but it’s not something I would be comfortable wearing in public.  Secretly I have always wanted to dress up as a woman, just to see how good I could look.  It’s a dream or desire that probably won’t happen.  If I polish my nails now, it’s with top coat and that is like once or twice a year. 

In going through the packet we got from the courthouse today, there was a paper on adoption, one about STD’s – getting tested and having safe sex.  Kind of interesting.  I also found out that you can’t take any electronics into the courthouse, obviously no weapons either.  Like I am going to come in with a knife or grenade in my pocket.  Maybe a long banana that could be used as a weapon, lol!  Yes, banana was a euphemism for large penis. 

Well, it’s getting late and while I don’t have to I am going in at normal time tomorrow so I can hopefully work miracles and get these two machines done.  People nagged me today, even though they knew I wasn’t in the office.  Just imagine what next week will be like trying to work on an install, plus manage the daily problems that people have.  I’m not bored now!!

Thus far I haven’t heard a peep out of the former HR lady I sent the e-mail to last night.  I suspect that she will ignore me.  Further I suspect that she didn’t even bother to read the e-mail.  I will say I rubbed her nose in what she did to me and that caused what friendship we had to pretty much dissolve.  I mean what kind of friend recommends to your boss that he fire you because of something that was beyond your control?  So in a way I can’t blame her if she deleted it.  That old saying what comes around…goes around, yeah it applies here.  Since she is older, I hope that something comes her way soon.  All I can do at this point is pray for her.  I am not going to initiate any further contact, leaving well enough alone is for the best.  Now if she responds or writes me, that’s another story.  However, since nothing came today, I am not holding my breath on a response.  It’s over with, done, finished, cap put and time for me to finally let go.

Speaking of going, good night to one and all.  I will talk with you peeps later!

1 day off NOT 2

Last night I found out a computer I worked on earlier in the day still had problems.  It worked fine for me but apparently not for the user.  Since the company is going away on a trip I decided to be a nice guy and said that I would have it fixed when they get back.  That means I have to give up one of my days off to make it happen.  It will be strange to be in the office by myself but I am sure I will get a whole lot more done since no one will be bugging me and the phone won’t ring!  I am going in on all days Friday.  Yeah, I know but Thursday is all MINE!

Plans for Thursday are to get my car serviced.  Just routine maintenance, nothing special.  To eat at an Italian place that I have always wanted to stop at.  Hopefully, to file for our Civil Union license.  Not too much for one day, right?

Today I drove a total of 4 hours (2 hours each way) just to hook up a computer.  Yeah, I know.  This was a machine that was supposed to get shipped by FedEx but the person who does the shipping decided to send it to the wrong place.  Translation, it’s been a nightmare trying to get it back and to speed up the process of delivery, I took it there myself.  Sometimes that is the only way things get done, is that if you do them yourself. 

I stopped in for Pizza at the best pizza place in town.  It was heaven but I had to stop myself or else I wouldn’t want supper.  I also went home right after lunch.  I arrived about 3:30pm but then someone was having some problems so I had to do some work from home to help them.  I got that cleared up in a half hour and so I got an hour all to myself.  I crawled in bed with my partner and took a nap.  Then we went out for a bite to eat.

Yesterday I got a call from a lady that I used to work with.  I learned that my so called friend from HR was let go.  It was just corporate downsizing.  As much as I wished that would happen to her because of what she did to me, I felt really bad.  She had been on my mind for a couple days.  Turns out this all took place a month ago but word travels slow since the company has grown so big.  Anyway, I wanted to reach out to her and try to help.  I told my partner and I got the strangest look from him.  So I decided to set my feelings aside and sleep on it.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it nagged at me all day long.  So I spent the last couple hours composing something.  I fine tuned it and then I sent it via e-mail.  We exchanged personal email addresses prior to my departure.  I know I am the last person she expected to hear from but it’s like I told her, my passion is helping people and if she can benefit from some of the mistakes I made then so be it.  It’s the Christ like thing to do and it just feels right.

I have no idea what she will do with the e-mail, but I did what I felt I had to and the rest is up to her.  Who knows maybe she will laugh at me.  She has college, experience but age is not on her side.  She is close to 60 and that combined with the high ranking position she had will work against her.  Meaning that she will struggle like I did to find someone to hire her.  Age is a BIG factor when people make hiring decisions and it is illegal to refuse to hire someone on the sole basis of age but it’s done everyday and companies get by with it.  Discrimination in any form in employment is illegal but again companies get by with it every day.

So at least my mind is at ease.  Perhaps I will sleep really good tonight.  I still have some work to do for us to be able to get our license tomorrow.  So I am going to get cracking on that so I can hit the sack and veg out.  I have to get up early and I know I won’t want to so the quicker I get to bed the better off I will be.

I leave on Monday morning and it already feels like Friday to me.  I am looking forward to getting some good food.  I did my research last night and places like Olive Garden, Red Lobster and Outback Steakhouse are in my future!  That is 3 meals now I just have to plan 6 more, provided I get breakfast at the hotel each morning.

Take care, stay warm and do something kind to pay it forward.  You will be surprised when it comes back to you!  Talk with you peeps later!

Blather for Monday

I am back in my office, Monday seems like such a horrible day, after having 4 days off.  It was tough to get going and it’s even tougher to stay going.  My office is cold, like a meat locker.  I should have brought in a heater.  After my traveling is done I think that is just what I will do because it’s going to get cold in here when Winter settles in.

A co worker lost a loved one last week, she was only 36.  That is way too young!  Everyone is aw struck and once again the reminder that no one lives for ever comes ringing home.  Still life goes on but it’s kind of somber here. 

Da boss man won’t be in until Wednesday and that is good news for me.  The place runs so much better when he is away.  Maybe we can have nap time today - - but I doubt it. 

I do have some work to catch upon but getting to it will be another thing.  It’s mostly asset tracking, which is super boring.  However, it’s important to get it off of paper and into the computer.

TAZ and BLU got into a fight over night.  Thankfully it’s just scratches and some tattered fur.  I still have a crime scene to clean up.  I trimmed BLU’s claws this morning and he was not happy.  I got the job done but he put up a huge fight.  So now I have scratches on me.  That sucks!

Jumper got mad at me last night because I gave him his medicine, so he didn’t sleep with me.  That’s okay BIG BOY and I slept just fine. 

I had problems getting to sleep last night because of an afternoon nap.  I was also watching Abducted with Taylor Lautner.  Very good movie and he is a sexy guy.  He did a good job in the movie and it was an intense action movie.  Started out kind of slow but then it kicked into high gear and of course that’s when I didn’t want to turn it off. 

Not sure about what is for supper tonight.  I still have left over Ziti and Stuffing but I think we might be having steak.  Might as well eat it before we have to throw it away.  At some point we will need to go to the store.

I went shopping last night on line.  Found a great deal on Vitamins I take as well as a supplement that Big Boy takes.  I got mine for 1/2 off and his for a dollar something less.  I also found a great and safe solution for the kids Prednisolone.  1-800-pet meds.  They have a pharmacy and you fill out a form on-line, they will contact your vet and get you the medicine.  It’s $29.60 and while that is an increased price from the $20 I am used to, there is no way in hell I will pay $92 again, that is just robbery.  Our vet isn’t a fan of them but I see nothing wrong with them.  I did search the internet and found good deals but they only take Visa and they want to give me Viagra along with my order for free.  No thanks, just makes me want to run the other way.

Two days off this week and so much packed into them, not sure if we will get anything done but I have found myself saying oh, we will get to that on Thursday or Friday.  I need to get the car in for routine service, we need to get our license to be in a Civil Union.  There is some house work and who knows what else.  At least we have good intentions. I will be happy if we just get the license and the car taken care of. 

So now I guess it’s time to get to work.  I am already  ready to call it a day and go home.  I’m sure 99% of the people here would follow me.  Just think in less than a month from today it will be Christmas!

No hair

Friday nights meal was just a disappointment.  I had a good time but the food wasn’t that great.  We used a coupon that my guy got on-line but this time they added 18% gratuity.  Some coupon!

We got home at a decent hour and I was miserable from the meal and just being up all day long.  I got online to purchase Ron White’s latest standup bit for $5.00.  I brushed my teeth and called it a night.  I did make it to the Jeweler in time, left early last night and got my battery for free!   My trimmer came in, works pretty good.  I got anxious and decided to shave my chest so I broke out the shaving crème and razor.  It took forever.  I wasn’t that hairy but damn you wouldn’t have known that if you were the razor.  I think I look sexy now.  My guy didn’t even notice and when I pointed it out to him he told me he hates it.  It feels better to me, just have to keep it shaved so it doesn’t itch.  Then I sat down to watch Ron White and I wound up falling asleep in the middle of his routine.  I love him as a comic but I was just so damn tired I couldn’t hold my eyes open.

I woke up way too early this morning and made it to the Dentist.  I learned that it’s time to have my one upper tooth they had been watching filled.  There is a cavity on the outside of it and I have gotten by for a while.  I knew this was coming and glad that we were able to hold off until the job situation secured it’s self.  I also managed to get a Saturday appointment to have it done early next year and also another Saturday appointment for my regular cleaning.  I hate the fact that I have to have work done, however minor it may be.  Needles and drills in my mouth aren’t my idea of a good time!

We stopped for a bite to eat after the dentist and then made a rush to the eye doctor.  I got my glasses adjusted and my partner got his eye exam.  There has been a little change in his prescription so he could get new glasses if he wanted.  He opted to keep what he has because of money.  He did get a pair of computer glasses that will also double as reading glasses, they are a bifocal lens.

In talking with the eye doc I learned that once you turn 40 is when your eyes start to go and they level out around age 50.  So basically I just started on the glasses band wagon and it’s only going to get worse for me.  I also found out that Carrots are really good for your eyes and they help a great deal with night vision.  So since I eat a lot of carrots maybe things won’t get too bad for me.  Who knows just as long as if they do, I qualify for Lasix – I am already ready to give up glasses. 

We came home and then I went out to get my hair cut.  I debated about this but since we have a management meeting next week, I’d like to make a good first impression on the people that I will be meeting.  I got shampooed & conditioned with Paul Mitchell’s new White Ginger line.  I asked for that rather than my usual Tea Tree.  It smelled awesome and I liked it so much I picked up a bottle of Shampoo & Conditioner.  Damn it was super expensive.  However, I now officially have enough Shampoo & Conditioner to last me probably until next summer if not beyond.  Will I buy more before then, probably.  I am kind of a junkie when it comes to hair care stuff.

After the hair cut I was supposed to go shopping but thankfully I was too tired so I came home for some rest.  Too bad I didn’t get any.  Someone was making too much noise.  Still I laid quiet in my chair hoping that he would stop so that I could dose off.  Then just when I fell asleep he comes bouncing in asking me if I am okay.  Damn!

I called a friend of mine to catch up and she said let me call you back.  When she did call back she asked her usual annoying question… what are you doing.  I fucking hate that.  So I told her I am laying in bed with my guy.  She said seriously?  I said seriously did you want to talk with him?  She said that is just too much information for me.  I told her we weren’t having sex but if she would have called a few minutes later things could have been so much different.  That just knocked her for a loop.  Then we moved right into politics.  She won’t vote for Obama because he is black, she wants Romney to win.  Then she started telling me all of the things my president did wrong that affect her.  I told her if Mitt Mitt don’t give a shit gets in then we are all fucked. She wants White Power.  Yeah, okay whatever.  You think your crying now, if Romney does get in she will be so sorry.  I can’t tell you either candidate is upstanding and honest but given our choices, I think Obama is best or should I say the lesser of two evils.  I also told her that we are officially getting married (no joke), it’s not a marriage but a civil union.  I refer to it as dog tags because I don’t feel like we are equal with straight people.  However, we will get most of the benefits that our state gives to traditional married people.  She got awful quiet when I told her this.  What I think kind of sucks is we have to apply for the license and then have to wait 1 day, then we can get unioned.  Problem is the court house only does gay weddings on Fridays. So while we can apply this year, we will probably have to wait until next year before we make it official.  The company my guy retired from actually makes this a requirement for me to continue getting benefits.  While they haven’t enforced it, we figure it will only be a matter of time, plus we love each other, so why not do it!

One I got missy to stop yacking and we hung up, I woke up my guy and we went out for pizza.  Too bad I wasted that as well.  I ordered Eggs & Sausage it wasn’t bad at first – had kind of a sweet taste to it.  Then we had to go get ice cream, which I didn’t want but also didn’t turn down.  My stomach is okay, which is a surprise.  Just doesn’t sound like a good combination. 

Then it was on to Target & Cat Food.  Then home.  I realized the 2 items I forgot so I made a list and will get them later next week when I have some money, or should I say available credit.  Pay day is next week and I can’t wait to pay off my credit card in full.  That will help me breathe easier.  The problem is it leaves me with $1.  Wow.  So to survive I will charge but I am going to be extra careful so I hopefully don’t have to fork over a whole pay check again. 

Fed the cats twice, greedy is a big word around here.  Doing washing of my bed clothes.  Then it will be time to switch wardrobes.  It’s officially getting cold here.  Tomorrow will be a day to gas up the car, go grocery shopping and hopefully I will make better choices when it comes to eating out and what I order.  Then it will be time to prepare for Monday!  Oh Joy!  However, each day brings us closer to Thanksgiving and I am so looking forward to that!  So there will be two full weeks of work and then two weeks of 3 day work weeks.  Awesome!

I discovered a few days back by accident that Lawn Boy is on FB.  However, he has his privacy settings so tight that I can’t friend him.  I don’t think there will be anything epic on his page, but I would still like to add him.  I am sending him his last payment for work that he just did last week and letting him know that he can friend me if he wants.  Maybe he will bite!  It certainly can’t hurt anything.

I hope that your having a great weekend and that all is well in your world.  Time to go tend to the laundry.  I’ve got about an hour before I can call it a night and then I still have to medicate big boy and brush my teeth.  Boo!  Talk with you peeps later.