Muscle Spasms & Knots

Hi and welcome in!  I hope that this finds you doing well.  I have had a couple days of Muscle Spasms and knots in my back.  Monday I thought that I could fight it off without medicine, just some rest and I would be good as new on Tuesday.  However, that was not the case.  Tuesday I took a Muscle Relaxer and that knocked me out for the morning.  I was up in the afternoon and just lounged around.  I took both days off from work, which I really didn’t want to do.  Really wish that I had a massage booked but I have to wait another week for that, so here’s hoping that things settle down a bit. 

I am back at it today, my back is still sore and hurts.  I am considering taking another pill or at least 1/2 of a pill tonight.  Of course I had the usual mess to dig out of at work and that has pretty much occupied the day. 

Were off tomorrow for Juneteenth and then back on Friday.  I was thinking about visiting the buffet tomorrow just to get out of town for a while and have a nice change of pace.  However, rain is in the forecast so I might just stay put and save that trip for another day. 

The cats have loved being around me and I heard some crying this morning once I was settled in the basement.  Not sure if they were missing me or playing, it was difficult to tell. 

I got a text at lunch time inviting me to a BBQ at my Thanksgiving Friends house.  I had been expecting that and don’t you know it this time they included a time, so I will be there for sure.  I just hope that the food is enjoyable.  At least it’s something to look forward to. 

Searched and scrolled on Amazon to fill up my shopping list.  A lot of things make it on to that list but I never buy them and some others I add them and days later I buy them, sometimes hours later.  Kind of depends on what it is and how badly I need/want it. 

I did visit that pizza place I talked about on Sunday.  I got the fish it was good but the fish and a salad wasn’t nearly enough to leave me feeling full.  I got some desert to go and an order of cheese garlic bread.  I’ve had cheese garlic bread each night this week with my Spaghetti and Meatballs.  Tonight I am heating up the last piece of the bread so I will likely polish off the Spaghetti and Meatballs.  It’s been good but also kind of time to move on to eating something else. 

Last week I came across something disturbing to me, The Milking Coach passed away.  The only notification was on X/Twitter and there are no details just that he passed.  Damn he had the best job in the world at least from my POV.  Such a shame, were either the same age or very close another reason why it’s disturbing to me.  I am guessing not a lot of people have heard of him which is why it didn’t make the gay porn news sites. 

Well I am freezing down here and it’s time to go up and feed the cats and finish off that Italian meal I spoke of.  Just wanted you all to know I am still alive and kicking. 

Take care and I will talk with you all again soon!

 

Shocked

Happy Friday, we made it y’all!  Last night I decided to tune into HBO and watch The Mortician.  It’s a documentary series about some very disturbing things that one family in the mortuary business did, thus far with their son doing most of the disturbing acts.  It starts off bad and it’s one of those landslides where things just keep getting worse and worse and just when you think it can’t possibly be any worse something else bad happens.  There are only 2 episodes out but a new one airs each Sunday.  I’m hooked and will continue to watch. 

One of the things I’ve always wondered about with regards to cremation is how do I know that what I am given as cremains truly belonged to the person or pet that I entrusted to be cremated.  I’ve been reassured many times but hell unless you watch from start to finish you’ll never know and you just have to trust and believe.  I did get an offer to watch a deceased pet go through the process but I declined.  I mean your already upset enough over the loss, there is no way I could watch that process even though it’s just an empty shell of a body.  It’s still my pet and it would seriously adversely affect me to watch something like that.  Talk about having faith.  While I believe that most places are above board you never quite known when your going to deal with someone that is trying to cut corners or turn more of a profit for themselves.  Greed tends to be the motivating factor in every case of deception that I have seen thus far.  The criminal in the series said something to the effect of there is always left over ash and you never truly get back 100% of the cremains.  I don’t know anything about that business but I would think that if you did the job right and cleaned things out properly after each job that there would be no room for error. 

Death is always something I struggled with from childhood onward.  It was really tough to see someone young pass and I had a super hard time with that.  Now old or young it matters not, I still struggle with it.  I know that it’s something were all going to go through eventually. 

I was really taken a back by this show and how thing just kept getting worse and worse.  Seriously illegal and immoral things including murder of a competitor.  I still can’t imagine things getting much worse but I have braced myself because I think there is a lot more to come. 

On a more normal note, things are well here.  Finished off the potato casserole last night, had some more chocolate cake.  Wrote a bit more of my fantasy story which got me quite worked up (horny).  Watched some TV and had an okay nights sleep.  Some bad/odd dreams.  I got the trash out before the rain hit.  I managed to bring the barrel/container back in this morning before we get more rain. 

All in all things are moving along pretty good thus far.  I’m still very excited for tomorrow and am hoping that things go off without a hitch.  I know I haven’t shared details but I will, it’s just checking something off of a bucket list that I have wanted to do for a very long time.  I’ve told no one about it because I don’t want to jinx anything.  In the grand scheme of things, I think you will probably find it underwhelming. 

Claws are sharp on both cats again so I should probably trim nails.  I know that I need to brush them but I hate that task because fur is everywhere and my nose itches like crazy afterwards.  They both enjoy it up to a point and then they are done.  Mora is the super furry girl and I get the bulk off her.  Rudy has a tiny bit but then again he’s a tiny guy. 

Here’s hoping it’s a great weekend for all of us.  Enjoy and be well. 

Seeing old family

I made it to the funeral home yesterday.  Never in my life did I ever have to fight for a parking spot so hard.  They were full to the brim and people just like me were circling looking for parking spots.  My great aunt wasn’t the only service and clearly someone way more popular passed.  I wound up parking in an area meant for delivery drivers, it was the only option.  I had a long walk in but hell I could use the exercise. 

There were way more people at the service than I expected and I didn’t know hardly anyone.  The family that I did interact with all asked about my brother and I told them that as far as I knew he was doing okay but that we really didn’t talk.  It felt good to see old familiar faces.  The last time I saw them was at my mom’s funeral which was around 7 years ago. 

I made my appearance and was glad that I went through with showing up.  It was the right thing to do.  I was offered some food but I really just wanted to get back on the road, hit up a restaurant by myself and then head home.  Which is exactly what I did.  I stopped at the usual Mexican place.  Service sucked but the food was good.  Of course just my luck that as I was eating the rain moved in and I got soaked getting back to my vehicle and drove in the rain all the way home. 

I got treats put out for the cats and then worked on getting the trash out.  Finally that was over and I could change clothes and relax.  That is after I looked over my phone and saw all of the excitement that I missed out on while I was away.  I picked a good time to be away, there was a little bit that I missed but nothing to lose any sleep over. 

Enjoyed the evening mostly with Mora in my lap soaking up attention like a sponge.  Eventually she got tired and retreated to a cat bed.  I watched TV and browsed social media.  It was a short lived evening capped off with some play time that Mora took full advantage of.  Once play time was over I retired to my room and Rudy came in and I played with him using the cover on the bed.  Of course I managed to get nipped he was really wound up. 

I’ve found a comic Nate Jackson on YouTube.  It’s crowd work specials and he really makes me laugh.  I’ve not seen his actual show but am hoping that happens, not sure if he’s on any of the streaming platforms but I haven’t searched just yet.  Feels so good to laugh.  The cats look at me funny because it’s not something they have heard me do in the short few years they have been with me.  I’ve woken both of them up laughing, I feel bad but if you say something funny and it strikes me just right there is no holding back.  While I enjoy standup comedy not many comedians make me laugh.  I am a tough customer but once you get me going look out.  I can actually laugh so hard and so long that I make myself sick.  That’s only happened a couple times in my life. 

Had a decent nights sleep.  Looking forward to a much better massage tonight.  The knots are flaring and primed to be worked out.  I know it’s gonna hurt.  I think if I was worked on hard and deep for a couple days that I would be super sore but then some touch up work done in a couple days after that and then every day, I’d be knot free and loving life a lot more but have way less money.  That’s why a massage chair would probably be a good investment for me.  Thus far nothing but the real touch from a human has been effective and feels nearly as good.  Maybe I should look for a man who is a massage therapist.  That would be a nice benefit!

It’s a calmer work day thus far, which Friday’s usually are.  I am hoping to be able to get in some relaxing time away from the computer.  Hope that it’s a relaxing and peaceful weekend, despite the fact that it’s going to rain all damn weekend.  I hate getting out in it but I have things that need to get done. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Life Changing Day–12 Years Ago Today

Twelve years ago today my life changed forever when I lost the love of my life.  I remember it like it was yesterday and it was truly a nightmare that came to life.  A day that I knew always would happen someday but one that I wasn’t ready for when it did happen.  You prepare mentally for it but when it happens regardless of how much you prepare your just not ready, at least that was my experience. 

My spouse had suffered from a massive stroke and I had to remove life support as meaningful recovery wasn’t possible and it was his worst nightmare to be trapped in a working body.  Oddly enough all of his nightmares and fears were like predictions because sadly they all came true. 

Today it feels like just another day but in years past it has been quite the sensitive day for me.  I still miss him and that I am told will be a life long feeling that just never goes away.  It is true with time memories fade and you don’t recall things as crystal clear as you once did.  I’m glad that I wrote a book about our life, despite the original print being riddled with grammatical errors it still memorializes things and I look back at it from time to time.  I’ve fixed the grammatical errors and thoughts about a second publishing but never quite got around to it.  The book was available for purchase for a very short time but it never sold and honestly I didn’t think it would. 

A lot has changed since that day and I am still confident to say that he would be proud of me for making it.  I never thought I would survive and things would turn out nearly as well as they have.  It was a rough battle and a costly one both emotionally and financially.  Yet, here I am.  A lesson that I learned is that you never know what you will do until your back is pinned against the wall and you have no way out.  Your capable of doing more than you think!  I also learned that there is nothing like a crisis to show you who your true friends really are.  Most of the people that we thought of as friends have faded away, they all offered to call on them for help but when called upon they failed me.  The only true person you can count on in this world is yourself, but it sure does help to have some true friends. 

I am not a fan of the month of April ever since this day unfolded twelve years ago, it’s the one month that I wish I could skip.  However, no such luck.  I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my late spouse would want me to move on and to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.  It’s not that I haven’t tried but just haven’t found that person yet.  I am still looking not as much as I could but my eyes are open.  While I don’t think I will be successful with this quest I haven’t given up hope.  Time is my enemy here because you never know when it’s your expiration date.  In some respects it would be handy to know but in other respects it’s better that it remains a mystery. 

Looking at my family history my grandfather lived into his 70’s and my grandmother and mom lived into their early 60’s.  Others from both my grandfathers and grandmothers side of the family have lived longer.  This is my mom’s parents.  I’ve got no idea about my dad’s side of the family since he disowned us.  To my knowledge he’s still alive.  My best guess and that’s truly what it is, is that I will probably be around into my 60’s or 70’s.  Hell I might live to be 90.  I just hope that I am in a position to either take care of myself or be surrounded by people who will take care of me and not to be stuck in a nursing home – those places suck and are hell on earth.  That’s just my opinion. 

I say it often and I mean it more than anyone knows.  I really do miss my family.  That’s my late spouse and all of our cats.  I miss the life I had which at the time in looking back was happiness.  We did some traveling, ate really good, enjoyed each others company, went to concerts, sporting events and some dinner parties.  Had some great sex and got each other through some difficult & trying times. 

We met when I was still very much a kid, despite being 18.  We were together for about 25 years and while it seems like a lifetime it’s only been half of my life.  He finished raising me and teaching me what I call street smarts.  Hell I didn’t even have a drivers license when we met and he taught me to drive, something I was deathly afraid of.  I think of that often when I am behind the wheel, that if it wasn’t for him I’d probably be depending on public transportation or taking some ride share.  It’s great to be able to get in a vehicle and just drive to where ever, when ever you want. 

I’m not quite sure how to wrap up this post as I could go on and on.  I am so thankful that we met and for all of the experiences (both good & bad).  I hope that I can find someone who loves me half as much as I loved this man.  I hope that he is resting in peace.  He’s always on my mind and the memories live on within me.  It’s a difficult day but I’ll make it through just as I have for the past twelve years.  One day at a time!

Stressful Busy

Wow, it’s been another one of those weeks that I am not enjoying.  On the plus side the week is flying by quickly.  It’s been all work and very little play.  I’d like to change that to all play and very little work.

In a meeting yesterday my boss asked me how I was doing, I told him I felt like a grape in a vice.  It took me saying it a couple times before he actually understood what I was saying.  Then I machine gunned through my list of items and that included voicing my displeasure for my WIN 11 machine.  The issue I am having was news to him. 

We had severe weather in the area yesterday as well.  Now it’s just rain and its suppose to do that for days, as in through the weekend.  It hasn’t started backup that won’t come until later in the day. 

Given the high stress level I have opted to take a break today and am going to the funeral home to see family for a little bit.  I plan on grabbing a bite to eat and then coming back home.  It’s late enough in the day that things should have settled but I made my team aware so they can cover for me while I am away. 

One of my friends who has the shop that I visit frequently, father passed away.  He had stage 4 cancer, it was everywhere and this was expected.  The visitation and funeral is next week.  I sent flowers and don’t plan on going since it would mean more time away from work.  Besides that they are well known and I imagine that the place will be packed wall to wall.  I am not one for crowds or funeral homes.

I might have mentioned it before but my home has well windows around parts of the basement.  One of them is covered by a large shrub.  A baby rabbit fell in this morning and has been making a ruckus for a while.  I went outside to try to help him but I need to get on the ground and dig.  That’s just not happening.  I don’t want it in my home.  I figure he found his way in hopefully he finds his way out.  They carry diseases and last thing I want is to get sick from trying to do a good deed.  Plus if he were in my home, me trying to get him past Rudy and Mora would take some super skills.  I feel really bad but I am stuck.  I don’t suppose the fire department would come to rescue a wild baby rabbit.

Speaking of the cats, they have been pretty good.  We have had some play and cuddle time throughout the course of the week.  I think they get the fact that I am just worn out.  I kind of look forward to Saturday where there isn’t anything planned or pressing and I can just loaf and do what I want to. 

Not to jinx myself but today is oddly calm and I am not upset at all about that.  I hope that theme sticks around for the rest of the week.  I could really use a break and some much lower stress levels. 

Hope all is well with you.  Take care!

Can’t make this up

Yesterday afternoon someone at work reported they were having problems on a shopping site; it just wasn’t working. I couldn’t believe that someone would have the gall to report they were shopping on company time, using company resources and complaining because it wasn’t working. That’s something I just couldn’t make up if I tried to. I investigated it and sure enough they were right the site didn’t work. I told them to use a personal device to reach the site to remedy the issue. I had thoughts of making a big deal out of it and shining a spotlight on this person but opted not to. If management finds out about it great but I’m not running to tell them. I see all kinds of stuff but that one really takes the cake.

I placed an order yesterday for a plant to be delivered to my great aunt’s memorial service, regardless weather I go or not I felt it was the right thing to do. I did it from my home computer not my work computer. I was astonished by how quickly the bill added up. The delivery charges particularly are highly inflated and I am clearly in the wrong business. I get a high delivery charge if I am asking you to rush something last minute or even a day prior to the service. However, the service isn’t until next week. I don’t order flowers or plants often but damn every time I do, I am just flabbergasted with the price. They show the price of what you’re ordering but when you go to checkout there is sales tax and then they tack on the delivery fee if you’re not picking it up. Honestly, it would cost me less to pick it up and deliver it to the funeral home on my own but I’ve already paid for the convenience factor and I don’t think many people deliver their own flowers/plants to funeral homes but I could be wrong. I see they delivered my order this morning despite me telling them it didn’t need to be there until mid-next week. Guess that’s why the delivery charge was so high – I mean at least they were prompt.

Also yesterday, I had a Buffalo Chicken wrap for lunch, all of the hot sauce sunk to the bottom and the last bite was quite good but hot. I only ate half which means that I still have one left. Not sure that I will buy this wrap again but it was nice to break up the everyday boring what’s for lunch.

The cameras were going crazy during my meeting yesterday. I had a cat outside running around. It looks just like Rudy but its paw tips were only white in back. It was enough to make me do a double take but I knew there was no way either of my two could possibly get out, short of me hearing a lot of noise before it happened considering I am home. I thought I saw someone post a photo of a cat that looked just like what was roaming around but I went to the app and can’t find it for anything. I think it will be setting off my cameras for a while unless something happens to it or someone manages to catch it. I only saw it on camera and not up close. I have looked and looked but no sign of it. I don’t dare bring a strange cat inside that would upset both cats, not to mention the exposure risk to disease as well as damage/destruction and cat fights. I do not need that at all. However, if there was a way for me to get it trapped and checked to see if it’s chipped, I would at least like to do that. If not to get it back to its owner to get it off of the street. I’m guessing someone somewhere is missing the poor thing but then again people do tend to dump animals in my neighborhood. That’s how we got Momma and shortly thereafter her kids, then years later Taz and Blu. Right now, for me 2 is enough and sometimes more than I can handle. Yes, I would like more but I have the common sense to know that isn’t a prudent thing to do and I don’t want to upset what is now a happy family. The balance is perfect.

I had one meeting I was really dreading but the person canceled on me and we moved it to next week. At least the pressure is off for now. If they would just read the invite, they would see there is really no reason to meet but I will be too happy to point that out. My boss thinks everything needs a meeting, drama and discussion. Nope some decisions are made quickly and on the fly. Not everything requires that much effort and energy.

Spaghetti and meat sauce was for supper, I had some of it and saved the rest for tonight. A dish that I picked up from the store so it was just heat & eat, which is what I like. Not much a fan of frozen food but I still eat it. Had a Raspberry Danish for desert and washed it down with a glass of milk.

Worked needed me to work late last night so I did that as well, not fun but I got the job done and then moved on with the evening. I hate last minute surprises like that. They knew all damn day long but waited until I was eating my supper to bother to tell me.

This week feels like I was on-call as I have pulled all of the weight which is what the on-call person does. Next week I am really on-call and after that I can relax for a week before it all comes back full cycle again. Normally I would get a 2-week break but since the mistake maker is out and the boss is on-call that’s why it’s only 1 week. This will go on for a couple months and I can feel the burn out coming, despite trying to fight it off it will still happen. I haven’t put in for any time but am thinking about just taking a full week once the mistake maker is back so that I can be free from work and relax for a bit. Mulling that one over but it’s probably going to happen.

At the moment my schedule is wide open and there isn’t much going on. I am savoring this as I know it’s a short-lived reprieve. We have rain & storms rolling in today and for the weekend. Glad I haven’t washed my vehicle yet. Looking forward to my massage tomorrow night.

Hope all is well your neck of the woods.  Thanks so much for stopping by.

Pizza is gone

Morning … that’s a different title for a post.  I had to think of something to put there and that’s the first thing that came to mind.  It’s true too, I ate the last of the pizza last night it was okay not as good as when it was originally served.  Now that’s out of the fridge it’s on to something else to eat for dinner tonight. 

I’ve got this habit that I picked up from my grandfather.  Each morning I look at the local obituaries to see who has passed away.  That’s the only way I will ever know.  I was shocked to learn this morning that a great aunt passed away.  I find it odd that there is only a visitation and no funeral per say.  It’s next week when I am on-call.  I could go but will more likely just send flowers.  It’s not cheaper but sure is easier.  I am not fond of the habit as I think it ages me but I’ve done it for years and started when I was much younger. 

Yesterday I got drowsy sitting in front of these two monitors and opted to head upstairs and lay down.  I watched a little TV but closed my eyes and then my phone went off.  I just knew that was going to happen, so much so that I predicted it to the cats.  Yeah it was something I needed to deal with but I was just too lazy and said it will be there waiting for me when I get up.  Then more stuff came rolling in.  I let the phone chirp for a few minutes before it calmed down.  Then I started to drift off and the lawn guy showed up.  My lawn got it’s first cut of the season.  I went back to work for a bit to take care of the few emails that had accumulated. 

My boss is on-call this week but I’ve found that I am the one doing all of the heavy lifting.  Even stuff that comes in after-hours he doesn’t jump on like the rest of us would, he just leaves it and I clean it up come morning.  He did take one easy assignment that came in yesterday while I was at lunch, just because it was easy.  The only way I know to rebel against this is to let shit back up and I did at one point yesterday.  It just means that I will have a large pile to clean up in the end.  It’s not fair that the rest of us pull our weight but the boss hides behind the excuse “ I have meetings and other assignments “  yeah well too bad your the on-call person.  Funny thing is that on-call means something different to him than the rest of us and outside of him we all operate the same.  He’s noticed that I am doing the heavy lifting and thanked me in one of our dumb meetings yesterday, whoopie.  Like that does anything for me. 

What made my day is that a supervisor from another team that I help out frequently so they are able to do their jobs reached out to me directly and sent me what I call a feel good email.  It said how appreciative they were for all that I do and how quick I am to help them and that I never, ever complain regardless of what they throw at me they know the job is going to get done and quickly.  People have been talking about the superior service that I give for 10 years and I don’t plan on giving them a reason to stop.  Compliments like that trickle to the top of the management chain, perhaps not as fast as bad news but it gets there.  That’s the kind of reputation that you want to build.  Problem is that it becomes tougher and tougher to out do yourself.  My boss wasn’t copied it was a note meant just for me.  I usually forward those on but opted not to this time.  I just hang on to them, they come in handy when your having a bad day you can look back on them and it helps to cheer you up.  That’s a tip from a colleague that I used to work with. 

On the cat front.  I went to throw away the pizza box and Mora thought she could just go out in the garage.  She tried but I stopped her.  I had to make a couple more trips to the garage to toss some bulky stuff out and she went back to keeping her distance.  Last thing I need is a cat the turns into a door dasher.  I am so out of shape there is no way I could catch either of them if they bolted.  Here is hoping that never ever happens. 

Had a bladder wake up call last night and made the mistake of rubbing my eye because it itched.  That only made things worse but some how I managed to fall back to sleep once I returned to bed.  Rudy kept me company and snuggled up against my back.  I would move and he would readjust himself just to let me know he was still there.  These cats sure are something.  I wasn’t in the best head space as the evening wore on and I think they probably picked up on that. 

On the agenda for today is one dumb weekly meeting with the boss.  Then whatever happens to bubble up my way during the day.  Thus far it’s chill but that can change at any time with little to no warning so I have to stay ready.  Speaking of ready I am ready for a nap already, not a good sign since it’s only 9a here.  It’s probably the sugar wearing off from the one pop-tart that I had with breakfast. 

It’s a nice Spring day here with pollen in the air, allergies acting up and the temperatures being cool.  The house has a slight chill in it but it’s enjoyable to me.  The cats will sun bathe to soak up the heat and the house will warm up as time moves on.  High today I think is 65 which isn’t bad.  Bring on the hot guys, shirtless guys so that my mouth will water as much as my nose and eyes are from the allergies. 

Hope it’s a great day in your neck of the woods. 

Stumbling along

Had a nice sunny drive to and from Red Lobster.  This was my first time consuming the entire Flounder meal in one sitting.  Normally I take some of it to go.  The waitress I had brought me some of the old style tartar sauce and that is what made the meal.  The broccoli I ordered came out soggy it was dripping with some sauce they used for seasoning and it wasn’t crispy fresh as it usually is.  Therefore, I didn’t eat a whole lot of it.  It was a really enjoyable experience. 

Once I was home I passed out food for the cats and then treats.  I spent the rest of the evening with them and after treat time they both settled down and fell asleep.  Still a little confused by the time change.  Mora wasn’t jumping at me right at 6p which was a welcome change of pace. 

I went to update and backup my iPad and saw a notification from my doctor.  Not sure why it didn’t register on my phone but it was a couple hours old.  At any rate he’s very concerned about the results of the test regarding my probability to having a cardiac event.  He said that my results are double what the norm should be.  This can all be fixed with a drug but unfortunately it’s injection only (either every two weeks or once a month).  The most common side effects are higher blood sugar and flu like symptoms.  The other kicker here is that for me since my cholesterol is well controlled this would be considered off-label use and the cost is around $500 per month.  Like I told him that is either a car payment or half of a mortgage payment – a bit much to spend.  The drug is shown to work to lower the risk but hey in the end guess what?  I’m still going to die, might not be as soon but it’s still going to happen. 

I checked with my insurance and they cover the drug with prior authorization from a doctor.  Which means they probably won’t approve it for me is my guess.  Cost estimates are way more reasonable but the price I pay could be different than what I saw on the website.  I suppose it depends on how much insurance approves.  I’ve asked the doc if he thinks he can get authorization and a few other questions.  I told him that his responses would help me arrive at a decision.  I am not a fan of needles and the thought of stabbing myself with a pre-filled pen doesn’t sound like fun at all.  My late spouse did that with some of his diabetic medicine and it was a super fine and very small needle.  He told me it didn’t hurt but his belly was all bruised up.  Hey if the cost is reasonable I am wiling to give it a try.  If I suffer from any of the side effects all bets will be off.  If the cost of the medication for me is closer to that $500 range then I won’t be trying it at all.  Right now it’s a waiting game until I hear back from the doctor.  I anticipate it will be a few days before I hear back from him.  I suppose meanwhile lets hope I don’t have a cardiac event or as I hope if I am unlucky enough to suffer one I hope that it takes me out.  That’s what happened with my mom.  She is the first person in the family that I am aware of to have a cardiac event but strokes and heart attacks I know that cardiac issues are in the family history.  I am a little bothered by this but I do still look at it as the fact that we all have an expiration date.  Personally I think mine will happen when I am in my 60’s or 70’s but not to sound too morbid but tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. 

Call me crazy but I think that if I am fortunate enough to find another man that will decrease my risk.  I say that because I will be happier.  Having regular sex, probably traveling and just loving life way more than I do today.  At least that is my hope.  The tough part is finding that person. 

On a different note it’s been a little busy this morning.  I am in a lull right now and just enjoying it for all it’s worth.  Did something last night that I haven’t done on a Sunday in a very long time.  Shave and Shower.  Normally I put it off until Monday night.  I did it not only to get the task out of the way to help with sleep.  It worked for the most part but I still woke up tired and had a couple of brief wake up calls in the middle of the night.  I really didn’t want to get going this morning but now that I have it’s not so bad thus far.  Here’s hoping that the rest of the week can be like this.  I don’t mind a little busy but just not crazy busy with my hair on fire. 

Picked up a Corned Beef and Cabbage sandwich from the grocery store aka a Ruben.  However, there is no sauerkraut and thousand island dressing.  I am thinking of having half of it and putting some stone ground mustard on it.  It sounds good at the moment.  Plus trying an Zero Orange Cream Coke.  Pasta will be for dinner along with some cake for desert. 

I didn’t watch any of the good TV I talked about in yesterdays post so I still have that to enjoy.  Here’s hoping for a better nights sleep. 

Have a great day and I will talk to you again soon!

One More Day

I had a great time with my friends at dinner last night.  The food was nothing special but I enjoyed the human contact and being able to catch up.  Sounds like were getting together for Easter.  I thought it would be nice to take Easter Monday off but turns out I am on call that week.  I look forward to seeing them again!

Last night I took a double dose of sleeping meds as I usually do on a Sunday.  I knew that I would feel what I am told is the “hang over” effect.  I’ve never been drunk or hung over in my life.  However, I know that this medicine makes me feel super sleepy and sluggish the next day.  However, I push through it and usually wind up taking a nap during the day if time permits. 

However, this morning I felt exhausted.  I have been going and going non-stop for days traveling here and there, I took little to no time for myself and what free time I had I was feeding my porn addiction.  I just called it a day today and took an extra day off.  I scanned my inbox this morning and things didn’t look terribly bad and there wasn’t anything from the crazy lady I encountered on Friday.  I do feel bad about taking a day after I had been off but there was just no way I could do much of anything. 

I watched a lot of TV and slept more.  Rudy loved that because he laid on top of me and that helped to lull me to sleep.  Mora was by my side.  I’m telling you this is the perfect family for me and I am so glad that I have them. 

It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that I had some energy and felt more “normal”.  Not sure if I am getting sick or if this was just the medicine kicking me a little harder than I expected.  I do hope that I sleep tonight but I am sure that I will be awake part of the night.  I plan to take my normal dose of sleeping pills and hope for the best. 

I learned of two deaths today.  The first was a great uncle that died around Christmas.  He was 81 and lived quite the full life.  I am sad to learn that he passed and that I didn’t have a chance to attend the funeral (not that I could because I was sick around that time) or to send flowers.  We lost touch with that side of the family because they were rich and they looked down on the rest of the family.  Still I was sad to hear of his passing. 

The other death I just learned about a short time ago in browsing the net is Porn Star Tim Krueger of TIM TALES died in an accident at home on Saturday.  He was only 44 and there were no drugs or foul play involved.  Damn 44 so young.  You just never know when your time will be up. 

On that note I am about to head up, I just had to get online to see what was lurking in my inbox at home and catch up on a couple things.  I’ve not yet peeked at my work email from today but I think I am going to be a little extra busy tomorrow.  I do hope that I feel as good as I feel now come tomorrow morning.  I also have plans to go in on Wednesday and really want to make that happen.  So if it all works out I’ve got a 4 day work week ahead.  Here’s hoping that it’s a great week ahead not only for me but for you too. 

Thanks again for dropping by.  Talk with you all again soon, until then be well. 

2 Years Ago Today

Today is a difficult day for me.  Two years ago, today I lost my sweet Gator.  She stopped eating and I had to let her go despite best efforts there was no hope.  We spent 18 long years together and I miss her very much! 

Her and her siblings and mom are still very much alive in my heart and my memory.  Typically, there isn’t a day that goes by that one of them doesn’t pop up in my daily photo memories on my phone.  This morning, I had a photo of her from years ago.  She had gotten cold and crawled under the covers in my bed.  She was laying on the electric blanket but had pushed back the comforter.  She was the only cat that I have ever had that crawled under the covers when she was cold, provided the bed wasn’t already occupied.  I’d often look for her and find a lump in my bed, I knew it was her.  If I said anything she would wake up and come out to greet me but I often just let her be since she was comfortable. 

That’s just a glimpse into the vast array of memories that I have of her.  I had the privilege of being with her mom as she gave birth to her and her sister. Her brothers had been born by the time I arrived home. My late spouse called me at work and told me that we were having kittens. He watched the boys be born. That day was something special. I felt a peace and a joy like I have never ever felt before. I didn’t ever want that feeling to leave but sadly it did after a day.

I had taken her mom in a couple days prior to her giving birth because it was a hot and miserable summer day. I could just tell that cat was quite uncomfortable. Little did I know that action would lead to years and years of memories. I was confident that my spouse would have kicked up a fuss but I got no fight out of him.

The plan was to give a couple of the cats away but to keep Gator and one of her brothers. I tried but kept running into road blocks. No one wanted kittens they were in surplus in the area. One day I came home and my late spouse gave them all names and well that’s how we became a family. I remember saying I’ll never remember their names. However, after a couple days I learned them all quite well.

I miss my family which is comprised of my late spouse as well as all of the cats. I hate that I am the one who has survived them all. It’s quite painful but yet I keep on moving.

There is no way that the two cats I have now would have integrated into that family but I could see them being companions to Gator. They are just too young and have lots of spunk left.

It is my sincere hope that Gator and her family are all at peace. Forever and always in my heart & memory. My sweet Gator! Your daddy loves and misses you.

 

Finally Friday

Welcome!  I woke up to find that my Cologuard results are back.  They show as negative.  I am so thrilled to see that and can exhale now.  I was fully prepared to wait longer but am glad that I don’t have to. 

Last night in browsing social media I saw a post that indicated another gay young porn star has passed away.  There were no details and I can’t find anything through a google search.  The guys name is Keagan Case.  He worked for Helix Studios and if the data that I saw on him is correct he was 24.  He did some good work that I enjoyed.  For closure and just to be nosy I’d like to know what happened but there are many times that someone passes where the details are never published.  That could very well be the case.  Three days had passed since this came across my social media feed.   

I know that most people probably just think of them as porn stars and watch their content and move on.  I appreciate the fact that they are humans and it takes a lot of courage to put on a show in front of the camera for the world at large to see.  Plus their work lives forever.  There is no erasing or hiding it.  That can impact their futures as well as future employment.  It’s a decision that one can’t make lightly.  Being individuals they have lives that are separate and often way different than what they portray in front of a camera, much like a regular actor/movie star. 

Helix Studios has been embroiled in a lot of turmoil and chaos over the years.  Back in the day they had some of the most attractive twinks, which are all grown now.  Blake Mitchell, Joey Mills and Travis Stevens are models that started with Helix.  Joey is still doing studios work but all of them have Only Fans accounts.  It’s interesting to see how far they have come and to have watched them grow up before my eyes. 

Switching gears back to my hum drum life, not a whole lot is new here.  I got the trash out and cooked a Tombstone Pizza last night.  The label said that it was bursting with flavor but it hardly tasted like the Tombstone that I grew up on and have come to love & enjoy.  I normally devoured the entire pizza in one sitting but I only ate half of it last night.  I’ve got the other half for lunch or supper.  It will be gone today for sure.  I was kind of caught off guard that I didn’t have as many choices of frozen items that I thought I did.  I’ll remedy that with my trip to the grocery store on Sunday. 

Had a great night with the cats.  Rudy has become super clingy he will sit on my lap and fall asleep as I watch TV.  He loves to be next to me.  He’s started bugging me at every meal like he wants food.  I think it might be more about attention.  I brushed him and his sister last night.  I have worries and concerns about both of them checking out way sooner than I want them to.  Right now I am just enjoying them for all they are worth and am thankful and appreciative that I get the pleasure of having them in my life. 

No real plans for the weekend, probably loaf around tomorrow and head out for some Mexican food and get the mail.  However, who knows what will pop in my mind between now and Saturday that could alter those plans. 

If you like Taye Diggs, Anthony Anderson, Chris Jones, Tyler Posey, Bruno Tonioli or James Van Der Beek they will all be appearing on Fox on Monday night in The Full Monty.  They will all be naked but who knows what the network will actually permit to be seen.  I’ve got my DVR set.  James and Tyler are the only two that are of interest to me. 

Thank you for stopping by.  Hope that you have an amazing day and weekend.  Stay warm and take care!

Fun Time

I had my massage on Friday.  I went out for supper a couple hours prior to and grabbed the mail.  Called my Thanksgiving Friends to try to invite them out for a meal and learned they lost another cat a few days ago.  Sadly, they have another one that is in critical condition and looks like it’s not going to make it.  They are much like I was in that they are running an old folks home for cats.  It’s sad when one of them passes but they are all up there in age so it’s kind of expected.  I never got around to asking if they wanted to grab a bite to eat. 

Once we hung up I got on Amazon and found the perfect sympathy gift and had to sent.  It arrived today.  I know it will bring some tears but also my appreciation.  Most people wouldn’t go out of their way to send a gift, much less a sympathy card.  As most people think oh well it’s just a pet (cat/dog) and don’t realize that these are family members and like children to their human owners. 

I am contemplating showing up at their vets office next week and dropping off some money so they aren’t so financially strapped if/when it comes time for the next one.  Plus they have one that is on medication for frequent eye infections.  I know that their vet is way cheaper than the vet that I have used but on average it’s about $300 (us dollars) to have a cat put down, cremated and to get the cremains returned.  Part of me thinks it’s a kind gesture to do and the other part of me thinks that it’s overstepping a bit.  I am mulling it over.  I also kind of think that if I give that money away something catastrophic will happen to me and I will wish I would have hung on to it.  Yeah I’m probably over thinking things.  

My friends are both older folks and they too are close to checking out but are both in remarkable health.  I think that she will go before he does not only because she is older but because she is the one who is most affected by the loss of a cat.  She just sobs and seeing that November is around the corner that is a depressing month for both of them because they lost a son in that month years back.  I’ve already been informed that they will be cutting back on the number of people invited to Thanksgiving this year just because of finances.  I’ve offered money but they said they are fine, when I know they aren’t.  Just a little too proud to take help.

My sleep schedule is all over the place.  I go to bed around normal time, wake up in the middle of the night and try for hours on end to go back to sleep.  By the time I get settled it’s almost time to pass out breakfast for the cats.  Rudy makes his biscuits and looks at me with his sweet face that I just can’t say no to.  Once I am up I can’t seem to get back to sleep again for a couple more hours.  Then I wake up and it’s 10 or 11.  I just want to sit around and am in no hurry to do much of anything. 

Managed to get a shower today, went out for dinner and am back home.  Working on flushing the water heater.  Just paid bills and placed another Amazon order.  I’ve always wanted Cowboy Boots and a pair that I have had my eye on just came back into stock so I placed an order.  They will be here on Monday.  I hope that I like them but if not I know that I can always return them.  Back to the bills for a second, I got a bill from the new eye doctor and only owed them a $10 copay.  I was more than happy to get that out of the way.  Sadly they don’t take payments online so I had to get a check to them.  

Plan to get up and hit a new place for breakfast and then hit the other grocery store instead of the normal store I go to.  I want several things mostly sweets.  Might go to the pizza place for supper where I know the cute guy I like works.  I know he’s straight but that doesn’t prevent me from looking.  It would be a nice trip and a great way to spend a little bit of time.

One of the other chores I need to take care of is vacuuming under the fridge and pulling it out to inspect things from the back.  I’ve got a motor that growls perodically and has for years.  Normally a good spray of some garage door 3 in 1 oil takes care of it for a while.  It used to be a twice a year thing.  Now it’s more like once ever couple months.  Oddly the motor is in the freezer.  The growling noise bothers the cats and well it’s not pleasant to my ears either.  I told it to shut up this morning and that worked.  We purchased it when we moved in here and hell that was 26 years ago.  2 years ago I cleaned out so much fur from underneath it that I am surprised it is still going, it should have given up the ghost years ago.  I just hope that I don’t wake up one morning to a dead unit and loose a bunch of food, that would suck!  Not to mention be expensive. 

Well it’s past treat time and I need to pass those out plus check on the heater.  It should be about time to get it filling up again. 

Enjoy your weekend!

 

 

Look Around

Saw something on the internet that hit home, thought you might appreciate it as well.  It read … Look around you.  Appreciate what you have.  Nothing will be the same in a year. 

There is a lot of truth in that saying.  Life happens and none of us know what is going to occur today let alone in a month, three months or a year from now. 

I am sure you heard the news about Liam Payne from One Direction.  He was only 31 years old and no one could have predicted he would have a fatal accidental fall.  I wasn’t a fan of his but knew the same as well as the former band/group he was in.  It’s sad to see at 31 years old he’s gone. 

If you’ve been reading any of my ramblings for any length of time, you know I have a serious issue with death and don’t deal well with it.  It’s always been extra disheartening and sad to me when a young person passes.  My first experience with this was when I was in High School and lost a classmate.  We weren’t close but we knew each other and had a couple classes together.  I think that there should be a minimum age on when one can die so that everyone gets a chance to have a childhood and grow up and be silly for a bit.  It would be nice if that were the case. 

Found myself missing my Momma cat last night.  Listening to her song, which was Pretty Woman.  We (me and my late spouse) modified the words to the song and she knew it was hers.  She would perk up when she heard it.  Kind of like a song that I wrote for Gator that had a pause for her participation, she would chime in just at the right time.  Lots of good memories there. 

I find myself saying how lucky I am to have the cats that I own (or should I say own me) are so well behaved and have a great disposition.  I love the fact they are clingy and want affection as well as the fact that they depend on me.  They don’t know it but I depend on them.  They are both what keeps me going. 

Well we had our first frost last night.  It’s seriously cold outside from what it’s been.  The house is toasty warm and the thermostat is doing it’s job.  The cats have gotten used to the new space heater in the living room.  They do poke their heads up and stare at it for a second when it turns on automatically but they quickly go back to sleep or rest.  I remember when they first arrived 2 years ago every little sound would set them off.  Especially when I got mail on my phone.  Today unless it’s a loud bang most things don’t phase or bother them at all. 

Got a call from a former co-worker who is trying to come back to work but it’s not looking good.  They left on good terms but kind of got mouthy in their exit interview and voiced lots of concerns to the point where I think they might be black balled from coming back.  I’m not getting involved in it.  I thought about it for a split second but I am not sticking my neck out for anyone as it could get chopped off and then I would be in dire straights.  They have an unfortunate set of circumstances but they kind of made their own bed.  Nice to hear from them but it’s kind of like they wanted something from me so that’s why they called.  Hopefully, things turn out well and they land on their feet. 

Bossman was having a bad day yesterday.  That means that I kind of had a little bit of a bad day as well.  He kept calling me over and over about little things.  Trying to micromanage and not thinking clearly.  Thankfully it didn’t last very long and he was off to deal with some personal issues.  I got to hear in every call how I was doing a good job and while he didn’t say it was implied “that’s a good boy”.  I fucking hate that.  If he could go two weeks without telling me I was doing a good job it would be a miracle.  I already know I am doing a good job.  Hearing it once and while is nice.  Hearing it every damn day and in every damn meeting gets rather old and it starts to ring hollow.  I suppose there are worse problems to have. 

Unless something changes no meetings on the docket for today.  I have knocked out all of my tasks and now just sitting back waiting for someone to beckon about a problem and deal with that.  Barring that it should be an easy Thursday.  Got to remember to set out the trash this afternoon. 

Ciao for now!

 

 

Dead Neighbor

Last night I was listening to the scanner as I do on any given night.  Sometimes I tune it out and other times I get tired of trying to concentrate between hearing TV Audio and the scanner.  They tend to overlap. 

I heard a page for the fire department for a neighbor several houses down from mine.  It was a 70ish year old guy who was barely breathing.  Since I was listening to the radio through an app on my phone, the audio is 2 minutes delayed.  It was 2 minutes later I heard an update from dispatch that the guy stopped breathing.  It took the fire department 6 minutes to respond, which I think is horrible considering it was a Friday evening in the 8p hour and traffic isn’t knowing for being heavy at that time.  The police were dispatched and they arrived in under a minute with no lights or siren.  Meanwhile the fire department had 2 ambulances roll in then several minutes later 2 fire trucks.  Based on timing the guy was down for around 6 minutes total and I knew in my heart he was dead.  It would be several minutes later before I heard the call for the corner.  I felt horrible for the family of the guy.  I get that he was older but damn I think he deserved a better response time, especially once he stopped breathing. 

Earlier this summer a neighbor tried to commit suicide and he cut himself.  The police arrived in less than 2 minutes, they made sure everything was safe and told the fire department to come on in.  That guy was a bit younger but he got a better response time than the older guy who wasn’t breathing. 

That makes me wonder do they take their time when your up there in age and only dash to calls with younger people?  If that’s the case I’m kind of in trouble. 

Granted I am just an outsider and there could have been other factors in play that affected response time.  I also don’t know if chest compressions were in progress or not, that would certainly factor in to the ability to bounce back to life.  Just thinking about the whole thing kind of put a bad taste in my mouth. 

I am fairly certain our police department has AED’s in their squad cars because they can get to people a lot quicker than the fire department mainly because the police are already on the street and likely have a squad car closer to the callers home.  I don’t know why they didn’t come blazing but if I was that guys family I would be asking a lot of questions. 

Of course I had insomnia because of this and that wrecked my early am as well as my day.  I wanted to do some other things that I just didn’t have the energy to take care of.  I went for my haircut and then came back home.  I napped a little bit but that was difficult.  Rudy kept waking me up making biscuits.  It took me a while but I figured out he was hungry.  He kind of becomes a huge pest until you get him some food.  The more you dismiss him the more he comes back. 

I went out for pizza to the place where the cute waiters are.  Only problem is none of them were there.  The pizza was still good.  Stopped for cat food on the way home and that’s been my day. 

Working on laundry, bills and I figured out last night that I made a mistake with an email at work that I sent.  That’s been bugging me so I was able to recall the message and then send a fresh email fixing my mistake.  I was trained to be super detail oriented and that I am, I hate to make a mistake but know that I am only human and it’s going to happen.  The key is not making them over and over again, but based on how my colleague is treated I don’t think it would make a whole lot of difference.  I strive for accuracy and excellence in everything that I do for work, which is why I get upset when my co-worker continues to make the same mistakes over and over. 

I need a good nights sleep to reset things and then I think I will be okay.  Here’s hoping that tonight is better than last night. 

Done

Made it to the office yesterday.  Oatmeal and Belvita Biscuits gave me incredible energy to power through the day.  I did eat a brief light lunch.  There was plenty of work to be done and very little down time.  I did get a chance to catchup with a colleague that I have been wanting to talk with.  That too was brief but fun. 

I managed to leave at my usual early time.  Made it home and then had to dive in to some more work.  The cats were pleased as punch to see me and I was happy to see them.  That was the best part of the whole day. 

Once I stopped moving and started to relax, which was after supper is when I got tired and managed to fall asleep sitting up watching TV.  One of the cats came to wake me to tell me it was treat time but that didn’t register with me.  I slept for about 30 minutes and then woke up.  That’s when I realized I missed it and passed out treats. 

I had a treat of my own, White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Ice Cream from Hagen Daz.  They had pints on sale this week and I bought this one.  I could have polished the whole thing off, it was incredibly good.  It took me back to a road trip I had for business and I remember grabbing a pint of strawberry Hagen Daz from the lobby of my hotel and eating it in the room.  I had it charged to the room as well so my employer paid for it.  I finished the whole thing in one sitting and damn it sure was good.  I did it as a way to stick it to my employer who treated me like shit but paid for all the food I could eat while I was on the road and I booked my own hotels which cost them more money because I wouldn’t book hole in the walls to stay at like everyone else did.  I was never told no when it came to expenses and I took them for all I could get.  I don’t miss that job at all.  Maybe one or two people but that’s about it. 

Took photos of my neck rash last night and sent them to the doctor this morning asking for help.  It’s a little better but still looks unsightly to me and I want it gone.  It itches and burns at times.  However, that is a little less since I have been putting AF cream on it.  It might be one of those things that just takes time to heal but it’s been around for a year and it’s getting worse so I want it gone.  Not sure that I will be able to have that happen but I am certainly trying.  There has to be a pill, cream or something that will take this away.  I’d like not to see a Dermatologist but if that is what it takes then lets go. 

Today is the first chill day of the whole damn week and I say that but it’s still early in the morning.  No meetings are scheduled for today but damn I’ve got several tomorrow and Friday’s are usually quiet days.  Plus it will be Friday the 13th so what could possibly go wrong? 

Anxious to get to the weekend and have some time to relax.  Plan to go see my friends and hang out for a bit in the morning on Saturday after I grab breakfast somewhere. 

This is kind of difficult for me but on My Birthday I went to my friends house.  They have cats.  A lot of which are senior cats.  One of them is blind, cries incessantly, yelps in the middle of the night and has lost a lot of weight.  There was a 2 year old kid that was a guest who kept bothering the poor thing.  He would get so tickled over hearing the cat meow.  I got quiet and depressed, this took me back to Gator.  I had to pick the poor cat up before it was stepped on.  That was my mistake because it cemented in my depression.  I didn’t eat a thing there.  I started crying a little bit but was able to control myself.  I wound up leaving super early and they were concerned because I left in tears.  I knew that poor cat was dying and it was just too much for me to absorb.  Well, I heard on Tuesday morning this week that they put the cat down on Monday.  I knew that was coming but didn’t say a word.  The poor thing had a good life but they let it linger just a bit too long.  I have been guilty of that as well, it’s tough to part ways. 

I said all of that to say that last night I ordered a gift and had it shipped to my friend, it’s supposed to arrive today.  I know that it will be well received but also cause some tears.  Someone I used to work with did something similar for me.  I am sure that I will get a phone call or a text eventually today, depends on how fast the delivery takes place and how long it takes them to notice it sitting on their porch. 

All of this makes me appreciate the two beasts that I have as I know one day I will part with them as well but given their age and health status, it should be several years before that comes up or so I hope.  I can’t imagine my life without a cat and I know the short month that I was without one I was so lost.  However, these two are my last two and when they are gone I am done.  I think that it will be close to the end of the road for me as well if they live nearly as long as Gator did. 

This wasn’t the best birthday for me but I have had worse.  I still miss my family both human and cats.  I was kind of surprised at my emotions creeping up on me. 

Weather here starts off cool in the morning and warms up pretty good.  Sun is setting earlier, were only a few weeks from the start of Fall.  Thanks for stopping by.  Take care!

Friday

Happy Friday, hope that you had an enjoyable Independence Day Holiday if you are in the us.  It’s really nice having today off and I am enjoying almost not working.  I got a call this morning that I had to deal with but it was something quick.  Still had to fire up the laptop and get connected in.  Bleh, not a fan of that.  Hopefully, the next two days are totally quiet, that would be awesome!

So the holiday … I went over to my friends house.  They said we were eating at 3p.  I arrived 5 minutes early.  I was the first one there, there was no food ready at 3p unless you wanted chips, which I didn’t.  We actually sat down to eat around 4:30p.  Burgers which tasted nothing like a hamburger should.  Potato Salad that was store bought and additional mustard was added to it, tasted okay.  BBQ Beans that he seasoned up some way with honey and BBQ Brisket, which sounds good but tasted horrible.  The pastors wife brought some Jell-O Cake that tasted awful.  Part of me is happy that I went and the other part of me wishes that I would have stayed home.  We talked about the new chain restaurant that opened that we were supposed to go to.  Funny they asked how many times I had been and I said 2.  They said they were there 3 times.  They didn’t remember anything about promising to take me.  Looks like the next get together will be Thanksgiving unless they invite me over for Labor Day.  That’s usually an outdoor affair and I skip it because I am not an outdoor person.

Celebrated the cats birthday with them, we sat in the living room after I got home way later than I wanted to.  They ate some food.  We watched TV and then when it got dark we watched the fireworks from the living room.  They were still going at 11:30p only the big bangs caused the cats to look around, otherwise they were find and slept through the fireworks.  We had some playtime before bed. 

Considering that I went to bed late I really didn’t want to get up early this morning.  Rudy made sure that I passed out breakfast for them and then I went back to bed.  I eventually got up to eat my own version of breakfast and then parked in front of the TV.  Watched a new Zac Effron movie on Netflix.  Not a bad movie. 

I tried to go back to sleep to get in a mid-afternoon nap.  First time I got woke up by a work email.  Second time was the cameras alerting to motion, which was nothing more than the wind blowing.  I tried to go back for a third time but the cats told me that it was time to get my lazy ass up.  So that’s what I did.  Passed out lunch for them, got dressed and made my Sam’s run.  Got my printer ink.  They were out of paper towels that is the only thing on my list that I wasn’t able to purchase.  Not to worry I was buying to have them on hand, it’s not like I am down to bare bones yet. 

Got shocked by a tweet from Scott Dynamo (aka Nic Wilson) his husband of 1 year Mike Heslin passed away from a sudden cardiac event.  Damn this poor guy can’t seem to get any breaks.  Scott/Nic had testicular cancer and had some major surgery in the past couple years.  Mike was his care taker and what I think got him through this.  Things got better, him and Mike got married last year and were close to celebrating their one year anniversary.  Now Mike’s gone.  Not something that you would expect for a couple that was in their 30’s.  I feel so bad for Scotty/Nic and unfortunately know a lot of what he is going through with being married a short time and having lost his spouse.  In case your not familiar Scotty started off in the music business with making some unique tunes and doing remixes.  He’s also an actor and been in a couple movies and he’s a professional athlete.  I’ve followed him for years and think he’s so damn cute.  Reading his tweet just shook me to my core.  You just never know young or old, tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. 

On a different note we have had a couple of power surges here last night and then again this morning.  The only upside is that the AC wasn’t running when they occurred.  I’ve got plenty of UPS (Uninterruptable Power Supplies) for my electronics so nothing went down.  Still I am concerned about things that aren’t on a UPS like the fridge, microwave, dishwasher, etc.  Power Surges aren’t good.  However between a surge and an outage I’d rather have the surge because damn it’s hot outside!

Working on laundry and surfing the internet as the cats talk up a storm and try to get me to pay attention to them.  I’ve been doing nothing but that for hours and now it’s me time.  Make no mistake about it they get maximum attention. 

Take care!

Brothers

Saturday was a TV viewing day.  I saw a lot of different things.  The most incredible was Fallen Idols Nick & Aaron Carter, a documentary about the brothers.  The sexual abuse allegations against Nick by various women and Aaron coming to the defense of a couple of the women.  There is pending litigation between Nick and his accusers as of last month when the program aired.  To my knowledge he hasn’t been found guilty criminally but the civil suits are on-going.  The documentary is on MAX (aka HBO). 

Brothers are supposed to be there for each other and get along.  That’s kind of how things started for Nick & Aaron.  Then fame hit Nick and he is part of The Backstreet Boys.  Aaron’s mom thrusted him into the entertainment industry and he got a singing gig through all people Lou Perlman, who already had sexual abuse allegations against him.  However, Aaron’s mom apparently didn’t give any credit to that.  She just saw dollar signs from the way the documentary is worded.  It wasn’t long after that the feud started between the two brothers.  Sure brothers as do any siblings have arguments and disagreements, when the dust settles at the end of the day blood is thicker than water. 

However, things continued to escalate over time between the brothers, their parents divorce had an effect on both of them and I think that’s something that no kid wants to see or be in the middle of as there is psychological damage.  Drugs including but not limited to Alcohol as well as other substances came into the picture as an easy way to escape every day life.  The drugs wear off and your thrusted back into reality. 

Things just spiraled way out of control, eventually is was Nick vs Aaron and that would be a feud that would never really be settled between the two.  Aaron had an on-line troll/bully between that, social media & comments from haters, the drama it all pushed him over the edge. 

Aaron’s death was ruled an accident but based on the toxicology it’s easy to read more into it and see that it was more of a suicide than anything.  The poor kid had no escape and just wanted to be free and live in peace – he took the only escape he could and checked out.  That’s my opinion and not what the documentary says. 

I grew up listening to both The Backstreet Boys, Nick Carter and Aaron Carter.  They made some great hits that I still enjoy to this day.  I remember hearing when Aaron Carter was found dead and it broke my heart.  He just had a kid and now that kid has to grow up without his father.  The only memories he will have are through pictures and videos.

The whole situation is just plain sad.  The Carter family was pretty large and the brothers had I want to say 3 sisters and I believe at least 2 of them are dead as well, not related to the feud between the boys. 

I say all of that to say that I’ve seen relationships between Brothers actually work and function like they are supposed to.  However, my experience with my own brother is that of disfunction.  So I get how they couldn’t manage to get along.  Sometimes you just got to leave toxic people for your own sanity & well being. 

Rest in Peace Aaron Carter!

BREAKING NEWS–Riley Strain

According to https://www.newschannel5.com/ in Nashville they have confirmed that they have pulled the body of Riley Strain from the Cumberland River this morning. 

RIP

Friday

Good Morning … Hooray we made it!  I always look forward to Friday not only because it’s marks the end of the work week but because Friday’s are typically calm days.  Here’s hoping that trend continues. 

I got a text from a friend yesterday checking on me, which was nice.  Got another one of those on Monday from a different friend letting me know about a mutual person we know that passed away.  I chatted a bit by text with both.  Not much of a texting guy I really prefer the phone.  At least with a phone call it’s marked with an ending whereas a text conversation just stops at some point and there is no real way to tell it’s over with. 

I was able to wrap up by 2pm yesterday and largely sat and watched court on TV.  Flipping between District Court in MI and the James Crumbly trial.  Saw a person in MI come in and say that she was the Principal for the Defendant and the Judge questioned if she was the same person that was charged.  Indeed she was.  She was just out of her mind.  She tried to settle a criminal trial without knowing the rules of the court.  She didn’t want her attorney but he got her sent for a mental fitness test.  She’s either got a good act or she truly is out of her mind.  Only time will tell. 

Had the Jack Daniel’s BBQ Pork for supper last night.  It’s messy to make but it’s good.  I used to eat the whole thing but this time I only ate about half.  I’ve got the other half for supper tonight.  I would love some sides to go with it that is extra work and I don’t really have a side to go with it. 

Nice gloomy drizzle day here in the 50’s which isn’t bad.  I heard the slamming of the cans this morning as the trash truck made it’s way through the subdivision.  I don’t know how anyone can sleep through that they make so much noise.  I’ve managed to sleep through it in the past but very few times.  I made my way outside before the true down pour comes so I didn’t have to get soaked to grab the empty trash barrel. 

I’ve managed to get through all that I need to this morning.  Put one task off until Monday just because I didn’t feel like dealing with it today.  Now I am all set to go back up and watch Court on TV for the rest of the day until someone needs me.  I watch every email that comes in when my phone goes off so that I don’t miss anything.  I don’t necessarily jump anymore unless it’s absolutely necessary. 

My back is bothering me so I will probably spend some time on the foam roller.  I think that calling it a foam roller is deceptive because you think or at least I did, that it was soft and would be comfortable.  It’s hard and anything but comfortable.  It hurts like hell but it works knots and other things out.  I remember back during the pandemic I pulled it out and used it my back was like a bowl of Rice Krispy's going snap, crackle and pop.  It felt good and got me out of pain.  Although I had a difficult time getting up from the floor. 

Looking forward to Mexican Food.  I keep going over my order in my head and will look at the menu on-line to see if I want to make any changes.  That will be the highlight of tomorrow.  Not sure if I will make it out for breakfast or have something here at home.  I’ve a couple options and won’t make a final decision until I know how I feel in the morning as well as what time I decide to roll out of bed. 

Here’s hoping it’s a good weekend for everyone and that we can all relax and rest up because another week will be here before you know it.  Although for me it should feel like I am on vacation because my boss will be out and that meeting that I was supposed to attend got moved again for when he is back.  Fingers crossed for smooth sailing!

Take care, relax and have fun!

Tuesday

Morning … My boss hit me up yesterday to run a meeting today because he had to take a meeting with a vendor.  I think he could manage his time better and I think he did it because he knows I hate running this particular meeting.  The spotlight is white hot and shines on me, lots of people attending and I manage to do a good job but I hate it.  I get lots of compliments about how much quicker the meeting runs when I am the one running it versus my boss.  That’s because as you probably already guessed I get to the point and don’t beat around the bush.  I avoid small talk and discuss only what needs to be said.  Largely because I want to be done sooner rather than later. 

Yesterday had it’s moments of being busy.  What I didn’t like is when lots of things came my way after sitting for hours and it was close to the end of the business day.  Not a fan of that it’s like going to a restaurant and ordering a half hour before they close. 

I had more fun with the cats yesterday, opening windows and watching them freak out.  Mora was sleeping, I mean dead asleep and I opened a window and she came to life.  It was unusually warm yesterday and we are going to have a repeat performance of that today.  This evening were in for Rain and then snow overnight.  It’s like all 4 seasons happening in a 24 hour period.  It won’t amount to much other than a sloppy wet mess, which makes me happy that I am not commuting this week. 

Finished watching the last season of Formula 1 last night.  It was interesting.  I’d like to drive one of those cars for a couple laps not sure that I would get it up to near the speed that the drivers do but I think it would be a fun experience.  I’m ready for another season already, which is usually the case when I finish a show I want it to keep going. 

Had my favorite Chicken, Broccoli, Pasta and Cheddar Cheese sauce casserole from Stouffer’s last night.  I didn’t know what to make, I just know I wanted something.  This time was better than the last.  I think they are cutting down on the number of bread crumbs they top it with.  The best part is that it’s a two time meal, which if I want I can make last for 3.  The total thing serves about 5 people.  Nice that it’s only me, so I can eat as much or as little as I want.  Yum!

Just found out in my morning surfing that a former Helix Porn Star passed, Cole Claire (Tristen Evans)  passed away last Wednesday.  He was in End Stage Renal Failure and stopped treatment and began Hospice care. He was 26 years old.  He was a hot twink back in the day at Helix.  I didn’t much care for his bushy long hair but other than that he was a-okay.  My all time favorite scene is with him and Blake Mitchell called Dickin’ of the Sea.  I got to wondering about him over the past months, as in what ever happened to.  I found his IG page and damn he didn’t look like that little twink anymore.  I knew about his Renal Failure then and was shocked.  Hope that he is at peace.  I just hate to hear of a younger person passing.  Then again I don’t do well with death in general. 

Woke up to a surprise on one of my credit cards, got a $10 credit.  Apparently from using a deal, I think it must have been when I did my taxes but I am not certain.  Anyway, it was a nice message to wake up to instead of what I usually see which is more work and new charges. 

Here’s hoping it’s a great day for all.  Take care!