Empathy & Compassion

I finally found the right set of words to express my condolences and convey that I am willing to help in any way I can.  I’ve taken time to think about it and I just sent my message to my former colleagues surviving boyfriend.  The burden I felt is lifted and it’s totally up to him if he wants to respond or not.  I’m certainly not pushing it.  I do realize that if he has questions I will for sure come off as some weirdo but I’m honestly fine with that.  I honestly don’t expect to hear from him but if I do I suspect it will be a simple thank you, which is perfectly fine.  No response at all is also fine. 

I realize that my note is arriving well after the fact and that I am sort of pouring a little salt on an open wound.  People would hear at different times about the passing of my late spouse and reach out, it was nice of them but it also hurt a little bit. 

I feel that I did the right thing to show some compassion and offer a hand.  Just for the record I have no untoward intentions and I am not in the least bit sexually attracted to his boyfriend.  However, he’s a human being and I just want to offer some comfort if I can. 

Fear & Common Sense

I had some time to rationalize things and think my idea through.  While I really want to reach out to comfort the left behind boyfriend, I think that my contact (regardless of what method I use) would cause more questions and possibly not be well received. 

It’s in my nature to want to help people.  While I don’t know what it feels like to lose someone to suicide, I know all to well what it feels like to lose someone you loved be it a person or a pet.  I could commiserate with him and tell him things that worked for me, it might work for him. 

However, I’m afraid that my message just wouldn’t be well received because in the end I’d still be the weirdo that had a crush on a twink and followed him on the web.  I get it, it’s creepy.  That said, I had no malicious intentions and just lusted after someone that I knew I would never have. 

I wish that I would have reached out to him, it might have made a difference but it might not have.  Somethings you are just better off leaving alone. 

Now that I have typed this out, I have to get my mind wrapped around the idea that I’m done.

Back to normal posting, hopefully!

Productive Monday

Good morning!

Hope you slept well and that today is off to a good start.

Work wasn’t terribly busy yesterday but there were bursts of work scattered throughout the day.  Had one meeting where I had to listen to the boss yammer on.  It was a training session for a new person on a different team that we work with. I am sure the person was quite familiar with the subject matter.  It was a time waster for me but I just spoke up when it was appropriate and otherwise I was surfing on my home machine.

I applied postage to my Christmas cards and weighed them all again, no change in weight so a First Class Stamp is all that I needed.  Got everything bundled up and ready to go come Thursday. 

Made a call to the police to find out about their charity toy drive.  I learned about this earlier this year on my ride along.  Found out how to make a donation and have that ready to go.  Glad that I called so I don’t have to make a trip to the bank first.  I was able to write a check.  Just knowing that I’m bringing some joy to some kids and potentially changing their Christmas makes me feel good. 

When I head out on Thursday I will leave a bit early so I can drop off the donation at the police department and then hit up a post office to mail my Christmas Cards.  It’s a tradition that I mail them on the day of Thanksgiving.  Then I can head to dinner and wait to spring the birthday surprise on my friend.  I am very much looking forward to this whole day.

Speaking of Christmas, I found the cats a present.  It’s a Cattasarus Peekaboo Cat Cave.  It’s a bed, tunnel and scratching surface all in one.  Easy to assemble just zip up and easy to clean, just unzip.  It costs less than their birthday present (a cat treadmill) which is largely unused.  I hope that I’m not wasting my money and just knowing them I think this will be something they both take a keen interest to.  It will double as a hiding place so it will be another place I have to look for them when those times occur that I can’t find them, which is rare.  There’s no waiting for Christmas here for gifts I will give it to them early.  Haven’t ordered it yet but it won’t be long. 

No word on my W11 laptop at work so right now it looks like I can stay home on Friday if I want to.  Learned last night that we will have some rain and snow moving into the area just in time for Saturday. Temperatures are also going to drop over the next few days so it will really feel like Thanksgiving!

Finished my Chinese food last night and much to my surprise neither cat bothered me.  My fortune cookie said that I have an unusually magnetic personality.  I laughed and said yeah and everyone wants to be my friend.  Later I had a warmed Apple Fritter topped with cinnamon sugar and washed that down with a glass of milk.  It was some good eating. 

Sleep wasn’t the best.  I woke up around 5a for a bathroom break and Rudy was chomping at the bit to get fed.  I ignored him but he managed to wake me up and I had to watch some TV to fall back asleep.  It was only fitting that when I dosed off he was sitting on my chest keeping me company, which helped to relax me.  Come time to really get up and I just wanted to stay in bed.  Yet here I am up and working.  We all got breakfast too.   

Thus far work today is dead but I do expect things to heat up a bit.  Most folks have mentally already checked out and the rest of them are probably gearing up for travel.  I have semi-checked out but tomorrow will be the longest day ever and by that point I think we all will have checked out, despite the fact that the work must continue. 

Hope that your chugging along and staying warm in the process.  Take care.

Mid Week–Guys to drool on

 

Mid-Week Man Candy

 

 

Let Them Go

I’ve come across this a couple times, the most recent was Sunday.  It speaks to me but I have a nagging feeling that someone else can benefit from it, so I am posting it here.  Give it a watch/listen it’s worth your time.

Everyone Needs someone to talk to

Saw this on social media and thought it was appropriate to repost here just in case.  Everyone goes through something at one point or another and needs someone to talk to. 

Thirsty–Thursday

 

BREAKING NEWS–DOG FOUND

I am over the moon thrilled to inform you that Arbor (@Andrewgoesplaces) dog was found this morning.  This is what I had been hoping for all along.

Thanks for your help!

LOST DOG – Tacoma WA Area

I am heart broken by this story that keeps lingering and thought that I would make a quick post to try to help the situation. 

On Saturday afternoon around 3p in the Tacoma Washington Area, Andrew Nieghbors (@andrewgoesplaces) dog Arbor was missing.  She was in a locked gate and it’s not quite clear how she got out.  At any rate, if you spot the dog and are in the area, please message Andrew via his Instagram Account @andrewgoesplaces .  I’d like for this story to have a happy ending and I’m actively praying for it.  Below are some photos for reference. 

 

I am a fan of Andrew’s and figured this is the least I could do.  If you have a blog or other social media, please share this story to help get the word out and thus increasing the chances for a happy ending. 

Thanks for your time and help!