Friday babbles

Well, we made it to Friday again. Hello old friend. Things on the work front were calm and went very well. I didn’t expect there would be any huge crisis but I was all alone and that’s tempting to Mr. Murphy who seems to rear his ugly head. I did get bad news in that a guy that I have a crush on is quitting. He’s straight, married and a million miles away from me. I know it sounds silly but I melt when I need to interact with him. He’s a nice guy and I suspect he is leaving for the reason most people leave and that is more money. I’ve seen a little bit of an up tick in people jumping ship. If you think about it we worked an entire year with no pay raise and were forced for a limited time to take a pay cut. That rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. While I wasn’t thrilled about it, I was happy to have a job. I was even happier when they paid back what they held for months. Oddly enough pay raise information is being communicated out now and I should hear about my raise next week or so I was told.

It was a stormy day here and also trash day. Wouldn’t you know it that the trash man left all of the trash barrels out with their lids open so they collected water. Thankfully there was a break in the rain and I was able to get out and empty the water out before hauling the barrel back to my garage where it will eventually dry out.

Had a car pull up outside of my home and 5 people got out of this compact thing. They started pointing and then everyone spread out. A lady was headed for my door. Now there is a sticker on the door that says if you ring the bell expect to pay $50 a second. Most people see that and that keeps them moving. This bitch didn’t bother to read just knocked and rang the bell. I didn’t answer because I didn’t want the confrontation, she left a flyer. Turns out it was a local politician who I despise spreading the word about a blood drive. I feel like sending her a bill but am just letting it go because I realize I would get nowhere.

I’ve been bored for a good portion of the day and managed to sleep a little bit and watch some TV. The little boss lady doesn’t like it when I am away from her. She starts making noise the second I get comfortable on the couch, then stares at me with this look that is supposed to make me feel guilty, I just think it’s cute but after a few minutes she gets under my skin. I am being held hostage in my own home by a cat. I have to plan my moves around her and if I do something she doesn’t like I hear about it for a long time. Last night it was the fact that I took a shower. She is still waking me up multiple times a night. I am ready to get a sleeping pill for her but am reluctant to actually reach out to the vet. She has never been on medicine and I really don’t want to start now. Sure, I am losing my sanity but she knows I will literally do anything for her, I may not like it but if I can figure out what she wants I give in. Most people would just drug her and certainly not cater to her needs/desires like I do. I look at it like this, she watched her whole family pass away before her eyes. She is old and could easily go at any time, might as well make her comfortable as long as I have the means to.

An idea came to mind, why not look at your blog and see what your first post was. That was a trip back down memory lane. I was unemployed at the time and for the longest time. I landed a job and worked for a while, got married and then shortly afterwards lost my spouse. I saw a lot of the same issues that I am still struggling with today. Namely depression and the fact that I still have a lot of stuff to either sell or trash. I can’t help but think about where I was and where I made it to. I survived some pretty dark stuff and there is no question the cats helped me along the way. It’s nothing short of a miracle that I was able to keep a roof over my head and food on the table for me and them, as well as cover their medical expenses. Being isolated in working from home for the past year and a half hasn’t helped the depression, if anything it’s made it worse. However, I still am able to provide for myself and the one cat that I have. That too is quite an accomplishment. While it will be like ripping off a band-aid I am kind of ready to jump back in to a regular routine. Mentally I know it will be good for me and I will get to interact with others. Physically it will benefit me because there is more walking involved. Financially it will do harm in that I will be putting wear & tear on my vehicle as well as consuming way more gasoline. I just think it’s time to go back but only if it’s safe. I hear horror stories about this Delta variant of COVID-19 and how people that have been vaccinated are getting it. A part of me wonders if we will ever truly get back to “normal” – I think we will just have a new normal and adjust like we have done for the past year and a half. Things will normalize, places that are closed will open and life will continue on, eventually this will be a time period we reflect on. I know for a fact that I need the social interaction that will do wonders for my depression. Getting back to playing The Dating Game may also help. I’m a little nervous about that but I think most people who start dating are nervous for a while. Once you meet someone all of your fears/nerves seem to fade into the background, especially when you find the things you have in common and begin engaging in conversation. It just feels so odd to be as old as I am and dating, something that I have never done. It’s like I am learning to ride a bike or swim. I suppose you continue learning things until the day you die so perhaps in retrospect this too is a good thing. I just hope beyond hope that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and that life smiles on me by giving me a decent boyfriend. We don’t have to be rich, as long as were comfortable and can provide for ourselves that is all I need. I have periods of time where I picture it and other periods of time where I think it will never happen. Truth be told I have no idea what is in store for me, I could step out of the house and break my neck or I could find the winning lottery ticket. We all take chances in life as it truly is a gamble every second of every day, it’s just that we don’t focus on that.

On a different note, I saw today that owners of Western Digital My Book NAS (Network Attached Storage) devices woke in horror to find that their hard drives were wiped. While I haven’t read anything official yet, sure sounds like a malicious actor got into the cloud environment and exploited a vulnerability that caused all of this. A single drive could fail or reset but multiple drives not a chance in the world. The cloud doesn’t live in the sky, it’s just a hard drive/computer in a remote location, referred to as “The Cloud” because you can see it but you can’t touch it. As such you have to protect any cloud environment with a strong password and at a minimum 2 factor authentication. Like a mobster told me when I was young “locks are for honest people”. If someone truly wants in, they are going to get in. Your job is to make it as difficult as possible. Also, it’s important to have anything of importance backed up especially today. Ransomware and malicious actors are on the rise and it isn’t something that is going to stop overnight, if anything it’s only going to get worse. Technology can be helpful but in the wrong hands like anything else it can be destructive. The other thing I have learned is that most people that backup their data are people that have lost data. It’s a shame that some people make it easy for the bad guys by using poor password hygiene. I get that it’s a pain to have more than one password and not to reuse passwords but that is why there are password vaults. They will store the passwords for you and even help you generate secure passwords that are unique. All you have to remember then is one password and that is to the vault its self. Sort of like back in the day when you had to remember multiple phone numbers, then speed calling came out and you forgot phone numbers. Now phone numbers live in your contacts and most people would be lost if their phone crashed or they somehow lost their contacts. That’s true of me as well. However, the important people I need to call I have those numbers still committed to memory.

I am going to call Friday done and move to bed and of course watching more TV. I have no real plans for Saturday other than the usual relaxation and errand running. I’d like to make it to the new breakfast place but considering that I napped during the day and I probably won’t get to bed at a decent hour I really don’t think I will be up for getting up early on my day off. I know that I will get there eventually. The weather is rain for days here according to the forecast, that of course is subject to change. I hope that I am able to have some fun and enjoyment of what little time away I have from work. I hope that you have a nice weekend as well. Cheers!

You Won’t Believe it

Today started off like any other day.  We had a meeting to “train” and then we were sent live into production.  I asked during the meeting if we could get a subscription to some IT learning site(s) and that it would benefit all of us to expand our knowledge.  I was told that they would need to look into it but it shouldn’t be a problem.  Around 1:30pm both managers come get me and say they need to talk with me.  We walked to the front of the building and before I knew it we were in HR.  I said why do I get the feeling this isn’t good?  They said it’s not, have a seat.  Then the HR Manager told me that based upon what they have seen over the course of 3 days that I didn’t posses the skill set to preform the job I was hired for effectively.  Therefore, effective immediately they were terminating my employment and I had to immediately surrender all company property.  I would be escorted back to my office to retrieve my personal effects and then escorted out of the building.  They will pay me for the week, plus Monday the 28th.

Okay so going into this they already knew that I didn’t posses the skills the job required.  However, they afforded me the opportunity to learn and grow.  Then a couple days after rolling out the red carpet all bets are suddenly off.  I don’t get it.  It wasn’t fair to me, to the firm and it wasted a lot of time, money and not to mention it got my hopes up.  I was worried don’t get me wrong but I wanted to prove it to myself and to others that I could do the job.  Granted the 1 week rush to be trained didn’t help things.  If training could have been more relaxed and spread out over a couple weeks then I think this would have been a more positive experience.  That said, if they were going to pull the plug I am glad they did it now rather than later when I would have to start my job search and unemployment all over again.

I raced home as fast as I could.  I called The Firm that I rejected last night and told them that I had a change of heart and I would really like to put the offer back on the table.  They said absolutely.  So they were very pleased that I called back.  Now they apparently don’t like to take no for an answer.  Since I told them no two times, they put into management so they could make me a counter offer, they really, really want me.  So the counter offer will be either what I was making at the job I was at for 3 days or it might be slightly less.  Either way, it’s a job and it will be a win for me.  I thought we would have this all hammered out today and I could relax, but things are still up in the air.  They are waiting for management to provide the dollar figure and they will call me tomorrow.  Provided everything works out I will be working again on Monday.  I will be away from home for 2 weeks for training, but I think I will be able to make it home on the weekend.  It kind of depends upon how I travel, if I am flying then probably won’t happen.  If I am driving then it shouldn’t be a problem.  I won’t know the particulars until we get to the dollar figure part and they can make me a formal offer. 

I am so very lucky and fortunate that I had this other offer in my hip pocket or I would be t-totally screwed.  The other offer is a desktop support job which is my forte and I should not only be more comfortable, it should be a walk in the park.  Getting used to the environment, the people, etc. will all come in time.  Overall, I think that at the end of the day this place will be home for quite sometime and that to me is what it’s all about.  Of course the money is a high factor.  They have a prenominal 401K with a 50% match up to the 1st 6%.  There is profit sharing, they will pay for my cell phone, I can direct deposit into multiple accounts, I can get standalone vision coverage, they purchase and pay for AD&D, Life as well as Short & Long Term Disability.  They will subsidize parking, They pay you $100 per week when you are on-call, plus you get to charge for your time in  15 minute increments.  There are just wins all over the place for me.  Now I will have to work hard, I am sure but it sounds like at the end of the day they really do care and show great appreciation for their people.  That to me is worth a lot because most employers will tell you they care but they don’t show it. 

The cons so far are – travel for 2 weeks, no laptop provided when your on-call.  You have to use your home machine.  I have to use my own phone – really would like 2 devices but they are paying the bill so it’s not really a con.  The location of the office from my house kind of sucks.  There really isn’t a good way to get there but I will figure it out. 

For once in my life I am able to make a list and the pros actually out weight the cons.  I just hope it all comes through and works out.  Otherwise I am in fact up a creek, out of money and there are no paddles. 

I will keep you posted.  I got a therapy session setup for tomorrow, thinking about having my haircut and hopefully I will be able to celebrate.

I can’t believe the emotional rollercoaster I have gotten on.  I am so tired and done with negative and bad words just can’t express it.  Just when it looks like life is turning around it ups and kicks me in the ass.  I pray that after tomorrow I can put the negative behind me and move forward with only positive.  At least if something bad is going to happen, make it time delayed for say 20 or 30 years.  Then I think I will be able to cope better. 

Say a prayer or two.  I will keep you posted and talk with you peeps or should I say peep later!

IT IS OVER

Today I went to the interview for the Networking Position.  I filled out the usual paperwork and then went through the interview.  The whole thing took about 20 minutes.  The person interviewing me knows that the position is way beyond my skill level.  With that in mind she told me to show up on Monday morning and be prepared to go back to work. 

I was stunned and literally fell off my chair.  This place is a debt collection firm so I was up front and told them about my bankruptcy.  They did some checking and it won’t be a deal breaker.  I still have to pass a background check and a drug screen, which shouldn’t be a problem.  I did forget to tell them that my identity was stolen, but I figure I can always mention it on Monday and they are going to figure that out when they run the credit report. 

Now for the really fun part.  Turns out the person I am replacing is leaving at the end of the month, along with the lady who hired me which is my boss for 2 weeks.  They hired all new people and we are going to be crammed into a conference room for 2 weeks.  Monday is all about onboarding, I suspect completing paperwork going through orientation, etc.

I am thrilled to death to be able to go back to work.  However, as I mentioned earlier this job is way over my head.  I really feel like I am being setup to fail.  I know that there is a huge growth opportunity here and that if I can master this job that will only further aid me down the road.  I am way under budget for what they wanted to spend.  In fact I found out that I am really short changing myself when it comes to money.  I can’t say for certain that I will have enough to cover all of my bills.  The biggest one being the mortgage, the rest of them I am not worried about.  So I am going in with an open mind and hoping & praying that it all works out for the best.

Meanwhile the law firm I was at yesterday reached out to me.  They are already starting their process.  I expect that I will have an offer from them by early next week.  I’m keeping them as my ace in the hole.  The thing is I know I can do that job.  It just requires me to be away from home for 2 weeks straight.  The pay will be less but I am told that if I really preform that within 6 months to a year they will reward me with a salary adjustment.  It’s a promise that isn’t written on a piece of paper.  I want to see how the first few days go at the new job and then I can make an educated decision.  Honestly, since this other place is willing to take a chance on me I really don’t want to blow it. 

There is some confliction and lots of doubt.  However, if everything turns to mush, I know that I can always go back on unemployment and at that point I will have to fall behind in house payments.  As it stands now I have already scraped together enough money to make the August payment, so I am at least good until September.

My other worry is my sleep schedule.  It’s been all over the place and I am not so sure that I will easily adjust to not being able to take a nap.  However, I am really sure I will sleep well tonight and probably tomorrow night.  It’s Sunday night that I will be a mess and having anxiety over.  My start time is a 1/2 hour earlier than my last job.  I suspect or rather hope that I will get off a 1/2 hour earlier which will of course put me in the heart of rush hour.  I am eager to see where this leads and hopefully be able to put my fears to rest and not worry so much.

I had to cancel my therapy appointment which was on Monday.  I’m going to see how the first few days go and if I can’t get an idea or feel for what my regular hours will be.  That of course will help me decide on what to do with therapy.  I am making great progress with the grief that has been inside of me for over a year.  I really don’t want to stop therapy but that may be what has to happen.  Right now there is so much that is up in the air.  I don’t function to well with up in the air – I like decisions and schedules. 

Thank God I will be a working man as of Monday!  So long unemployment didn’t like you and won’t miss you or your rules!  I hope everyone has a great weekend.  I’m going to be busy with cleaning and shopping but it’s all good.  I may even take a pie eating trip, haven’t quite decided.  The next showing of Tammy is at 10:05 pm tonight.  I think I will be headed to the movies.  I’ve denied myself for far too long, playing the poor person.  I can’t go hog wild but I can certainly afford $7.50 for a movie.  I do still have to try to keep costs down.  I suppose that will always be part of life. 

Once the job jitters settle down and I get some confidence I will be going back on the market looking for Mr. Right.  I hope that I can find him and who knows maybe he will have money.  At least I can dream.

Talk with you all later.   

Something I do not want

I just finished up my interview for today.  I felt like I was in a Star Trek movie.  I parked my car walked into the lobby, had to provide my name to the security guard.  He took my photo and printed a plastic id badge that I had to wear.  He opened a gate that allowed me access to a bank of elevators and he told me which elevator to take.  The doors were open and the elevator knew which floor I was supposed to visit.  There were no buttons in the elevator, which is true of all of the elevators in the building.  I gathered that your access badge tells the elevator where your allowed to go and will only let you on those specific floors.  I don’t know what you do if say your allowed on floors 2, 10, 15 and 36 how do you tell it where you want to go.  There were screens that told you which floor you were on and where you were going.  The damn thing talks doors open you are now on floor xx and doors closing, going down or going up.  Just a little to techy for me.

The interview went very well, so much so that I believe they are going to offer me the job.  There would be 2 back to back weeks that I would have to travel for training.  I would be away from home and it would be a considerable distance – so it would involve a hotel.  I’m not certain that Big Boy would make it 2 full weeks w/o medication.  The 3rd week of training I would be back home and getting to know my environment locally.  I would be the sole IT person for the office and there are about 100 people to support.  Which would be easy.  However, they want you to use your cell phone for things like e-mail and after hours on-call.  They will pay $90 per month for that, which would cover my bill in full.  They charge for parking.  They want to offer me about what I was making at my last job for this job.  They said after a year I could potentially get an adjustment in pay but to start out it would be low wages. 

The travel is my first concern but I can get over that pretty easy.  The pay is my overall biggest concern, I can’t work for what I was making and then have them deduct for parking.  That would be working for less wages, who does that?  I mean I know some people take a cut in pay just to go back to work but it’s not something I can afford to do.  I am so conflicted. 

The reason why I believe the job is mine is the manager kept saying how impressed she was with my skills and experience.  She said that she is finishing up interviews this week and someone would be in touch next week.  They will start checking references right away and then go deeper into my background.  Who says those types of things if they are not planning on extending an offer?  This was a job that I really didn’t want in the first place and just entertained myself by going.  I didn’t expect them to make me an offer, I figured I would scare them away with my salary requirements.  When I told them I was negotiable is when the glow just came over her and I guess she thought she could get me for cheap because I was desperate. 

Granted if the offer comes in time and I accept it would mean that I could live here another month w/o any problems.  However, after that I think I would fall short on money.  Again, I am so conflicted I do not know what to do. 

My hope is that tomorrow I get the same vibes that I got today and they actually offer me a job at what I requested.  Then this won’t be an issue.  However, for now I am still unemployed so I am still looking. 

I know there is the possibility that I could accept and just keep looking but I really want to be done with this.  I am looking for a long term home and not just a job bur rather a career.  I want an employer that takes care of me and for that I will take care of them.  A symbiotic relationship.

In other news, I got my vacation pay and a nasty letter back from my former employer.  They didn’t even bother to deduct taxes just wrote me a check out of their generic everyday operations account and called it payroll.  I’ve deposited it and just hope that it clears w/o a problem.

Talk with you peeps later.

I saw a sign

I sure didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.  I was up until a little after 1:00 am.  There was nothing going today so no pressure.  However, Jumper saw it differently and tried to wake me up multiple times.  He finally roused the choir and that is when I let him out of my room and went back to bed.  I got up at 11am.  I fed the children and then made myself a sandwich.  I mean might as well fast forward to lunch, breakfast is over. 

I got me a shower and then head out to the bank.  I closed my savings account and the lady asked me why.  I told her I need the money in my checking account in order to be able to pay the monthly fees you charge, I lost my job.  She told me about a place hiring.  It’s not in my line of work but I appreciated the tip.  I was kind of sad to do it but at the end of the day I really wasn’t getting much for them holding $100 ransom.  If the balance fell below that yep you guessed it another fee.  I’m fee allergic.

A call came in for a job I applied for last night.  I knew the pay was low and that chances are I would be weeded out.  I called the lady back and she seems to think I would be qualified for a network position.  I explained that networking isn’t my forte but she really liked my resume and talked me into at least coming in for an interview.  So another interview to attend on Friday.  This week is by far the most active week yet.  4 interviews in one week!  The job I applied for doesn’t pay what I want.  The job she talked me into pays considerably more but I suppose it depends upon experience.  If I can at least get what I asked for then I will gladly take the job and prepare to learn some new stuff, which will only help me in the end.  Their user base is 99 and that should be a cake walk.  In my last job I supported a much larger user base. 

I managed to make it to the grocery store.  I decided that I would go to the expensive store because it would be something different.  I was after chocolate cake and I got it.  I loaded up the cart with a lot of stuff but feel like I left empty.  I also managed to forget mayo which is the one thing I really wanted.  The other thing was bottled water and I got that.  There are some unique Stouffers dishes that they carry that the bargain store doesn’t.  Like Zitti and a Parmasean Topped Lasagna.  I got a deep dish pizza and some Frozen Yogurt.  Had a hot guy following me for a while but it was only because we were walking in the same general direction.  I had high hopes for a second but that was it.  After the store I headed to gas up the car because of the extra interviews I will need it.  The total came to $27.77 that is 3 seven’s in a row.  I took that as a good sign, maybe just maybe things are actually going to come together after all.

Came home, put it all away and then got my interview clothes washed.  I completed the application for tomorrows interview and got that sent off.  I put down what I wanted and thought for sure they would call back and cancel but thus far I haven’t heard a word out of them.  I also found out that they will validate parking so I’m driving over, much to my dismay.  It will only mean that I get home a little quicker.  It’s in a very congested part of town where parking is at a premium, there are lots of one way streets and everyone is in a hurry, including the meter police.  It’s an area I try to avoid at all costs.

I was anticipating hearing from the place I was at yesterday but not a word.  I might be overly paranoid but I think we are done.  I still am trying to keep an open mind but I would have figured that the HR person would have at least sent the job descriptions for the other positions to me.  All I can do is wait and see. 

I didn’t get any alerts so I stayed away from the post office today.  I need to stop by tomorrow to mail a couple letters.  I have escalated the issue I am having getting my late partners medical records.  I am still being nice but at the same time expressing my displeasure with getting the run around and playing what I call Paper Ping Pong. It’s very annoying!  I think the hope is that I will give up.  They obviously don’t know who they are dealing with.

So I think that is a wrap on Wednesday.  I just hope I am right about the 777 being a good sign.  It would be nice to go into the weekend knowing that I have a job to report to on Monday but that might be pushing it a bit.  I will be sure to keep you posted.  Oh I called about my unemployment for last week and they are now paying me since I reported in.  It never hurts to ask, the worst anyone can say is no.

Talk with you peeps later. 

Interview week

Yesterday I had the interview with the local municipality.  It was a little difficult to find their city hall – nothing is numbered or labeled.  So I just took my best guess and turns out I was accurate.

I was welcomed by the lady the arranged everything and then brought into a room where I met their present IT person and some bad ass manager who just kept looking at me like I stole his lunch money.  I could tell he was quite impressed with his self.  The current IT guy I noticed had a wedding ring on and he was really hot.  I did fine on the spoken part of the interview.  The little hottie IT guy prepared a test and I know I bombed on that.  It was made perfectly clear that you have to be a jack and master of everything IT – there isn’t any escalation paths.  So basically you can either do the job or your can’t.  This is way over my head and I’m really surprised they called me in for an interview.  I would like to expand my knowledge base but not trial by fire.  This would be one of those jobs where I would have to be looking over my shoulder constantly and wondering if they are going to fire me.  I don’t believe they will choose me and if they do I really don’t want it.  It was also tacky they didn’t give much time for the interview its’ self they had another candidate waiting as I left.  He was in a full 3 piece suit.  Whoopee Doo!

Today was the interview that I have been longing for.  I understood that I would be meeting with a managers boss.  Turns out I met with the same person I spoke to on the phone.  The next interview will be with her boss.  So it went for 2 and 1/2 hours.  She told me that there are 4 people that she wants to bring back for 2nd interviews and right now I am one of those 4 but I am at the bottom of the list.  She asked me where I was months ago and I said I was looking but didn’t see your ad.  I opened up quite a bit and short of getting on my knees I begged for the job, multiple times.  Turns out my competition is pretty steep so it sounds like if I get this it will just be dumb luck or because I was 2nd choice.  I was asked if I would mind coming on as a consultant rather than a Full Time Employee.  I said if it’s going to get my foot in the door I am open to it, but much prefer to be a FTE.  I was told that IT likes to sample people and see if they are a good fit.  You may get moved around but if you fit well into a job and management sees that then they will make you an offer and bring you on board.  So the wind was really let out of my sails.  I am still in the running and in fact she told me that there were other open positions that I would be perfect for.  So HR is supposed to talk with me about those.  If they pay as much as this position then I am all for it, otherwise it would be a no go.  The commute is a little longer than I thought and I would need every penny of what I asked for in order to be able to justify the daily commute.  There was a point in the interview where I disclosed my age, I wasn’t asked directly but there was an inquiry in a round about way.  I also disclosed the fact that I am gay, that wasn’t directly asked but I felt at home and decided to let it all hang out, so to speak.  I was told there isn’t a problem with that and they actually offer same sex couples benefits.  This company is very employee focused and they take care of their own, which is so uncommon in todays world.  My hope to become a part of this organization still exists but based on today my hopes are no longer as high as they originally were.  I did get some feedback finally on how I can do things different, which was nice.

While I was at my interview I got a call setting up another interview for Thursday.  It’s with a Law Firm and I’m not too eager at all about this.  It’s a first line role and we have yet to discuss pay but I seriously doubt they will want to pay what I need in order to make it.  Still its’ an interview and it will help me hone my interviewing skills.  Plus I suppose there is a chance that this will be a good fit in everyway. 

My demand letter was delivered today and it went over like a lead balloon.  I should have my money by the end of the week.  They are not too happy with me but I had to use harsh words in order to get them to realize you can’t keep putting this off, I want my damn money.  They are calling it an “oversight”.  Right like the way they pay all of their bills late.  I was just another creditor to them after I left which is why things got shoved to the side.  I don’t believe for one second it was an oversight.  They are going to ask me to stop communicating with them, as we have no further business.  Well, right we don’t.  So long as the check doesn’t bounce.  They have been known to write bad checks as well, so I’m not officially done with them until the check actually clears, then yes we are done and I have no plans on bothering them again.  However, I’ve made sure they will never ever forget me.  To boot I finally got my reference check today, turns out my old boss was a little defensive but overall provided a decent reference.  That makes me happy so at least I know if I didn’t get something it wasn’t because of something they did.  It did take a while for them to reach him which may be a turn off to some prospective employers.  It will be nice to be able to cut the apron strings and put them in the past.  Which is what I have been trying to do since late May.

I checked on my unemployment and turns out I only got paid for 1 week instead of 2.  So looks like I will have to call those folks tomorrow to find out what gives.  I suspect they will tell me that is just the way it is, but I am at least going to try. 

I am also still fighting to get my late partners medical records.  Now I am told that there wasn’t a HIPAA form submitted with the request.  So I asked where do you procure that from.  I was told oh the doctors office can give you that.  So I called, turns out they have no idea what I am talking about.  They took a message and are going to ask the doctor to call me.  Well if he does call and he is willing to talk with me, he could save me the money by simply telling me if there was something that my partner was diagnosed with that I didn’t know about.  I’m on this little fact finding mission so I can determine if his death was natural or a suicide.  I believe it was natural but I can’t ask him the only other person that would know is his doctor.  My guess is this will turn into a big ugly mess.  I’m not stopping until I either get answers or my heart stops.  I want to know and I am entitled to know.

Tomorrow’s agenda includes going to the bank to close out my savings account that I have had since I was like 19 and get the money transferred into my checking account.  The checking account requires a direct deposit and the bank is going to start to charge a monthly fee.  My staying with them will depend upon how long it will take to find a job.  If I don’t see an end in sight I will pull the plug and close the checking account as well.  I also have to visit the grocery store.  I’ve managed to stave it off for 2 days but tomorrow I have to go, I’m running out of things and there is no point in being desperate and hungry at the same time. 

Well that’s it.  Time to empty litter boxes, pass out snacks and call it a night.  It’s been a very long and trying day.  I hope that this all comes to a successful conclusion quickly.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

Replacement Bladder

Howdy all!

I hope that your weekend went well.  I’ve been on Cloud 9 since late Friday afternoon.  I was proud that I completed the training, which was just a matter of entering my information into a computer and listening to someone talk for 10 minutes.  That’s it.  They have done away with the 4 week reporting so instead you have to visit a special job website and preform one of a myriad of things from writing a resume to looking for a job.  One time ever 28 days or else your unemployment stops.  They also talked to us about keeping a job log and how Unemployment is now doing audits and if you send in an incomplete log it is the same as if you didn’t send in a log.  Your unemployment will stop and they will ask for all of their money back.  Really?  Your out of work and they expect you to pay money back?  I guess it’s those few bad apples that have spoiled it for the rest of us.  Right now I have no worries because I haven’t been audited.  My job log is up to date, I just don’t keep the address of where my resume goes because most of them are submitted on line.  Oh yeah, that is the other thing you have to mix up your search.  So contact 1 employer by phone, 1 employer by e-mail and 1 employer by US Mail.  The method of contact has to be different but you are only required to contact 3 employers per week.  If they see that all of your contact methods are the same that week will be eliminated and they will want their money back.  Yeah, sounds difficult because it’s designed to motivate you to get a job and not sit on your ass and collect unemployment. 

So why am I on cloud 9?  Well it’s because we are closer to Tuesday.  That is when I meet with what I think will be my future employer.  I’ve got really good feelings about it and I just hope that my hopes are not up only to be dashed again.  I just can’t shake the good vibrations I have gotten and I really feel it with all of my heart & soul.  Again, I hope that I am not disappointed.   

I put the final touches on my letter to my late partner.  I got some tears but it they soon passed.  It’s 10 pages, imagine that me going on and on, that never happens!  If my therapist makes me read this to her that I am sure will invoke some tears.  This also helped me get on Cloud 9 because I feel a sense of relief.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my vacation pay and I decided to issue a final demand letter telling my former employer either you pay up in 5 days or I will see you in small claims court.  I also put them on notice that if they provide a bad reference about me or try to interfere with my ability to gain re-employment I would sue them.  I wrote it on Friday night.  I had 2nd thoughts on Saturday.  I looked and looked at it, reading and re-reading it.  Walked away.  Mailed it this morning.  They should have it by Tuesday.  I do need the money but it’s the principal of the matter they made me 2 promises and have already renigged on 1 of them.  I am not letting them get out of paying me what is rightfully mine.  Will I actually take them to court, yes.  It will be more expensive but their attorney has high moral and ethical values so if I subpoena that person, I know for a fact they will not lie in open court to risk their law license as well as respect from the judicial community.  That plus my last check stub are my aces in the hole. 

I also thought about playing the “gay” card and screaming discrimination.  Then I thought about it and well I’m gay and the other person is a Lesbian or at the very least Bi-Sexual.  It does look like a witch hunt.  They have one Lesbian worker left and the only reason why she still has her job is because her daughter works there and her daughter is sleeping with the boss.  If it weren’t for that I am fairly confident that she would have been let go either long before me or shortly after I left.  So there is grounds for discrimination.  I’ve stated my case and mailed it off to the appropriate agency for review.  I asked them to call me so we can talk about it before any formal charges are filed.  If I in fact have a case, well then I will pursue it, chances are high that if it’s strong enough my former employer will want to settle out of court and that could be very good for me.  At least I am trying and not wondering what if.  I mean if you wonder you will never know.  Action speaks louder than words.

I never made it to see Tammy but think I will be trying to fit that in this week.  Especially if things go well on Tuesday.  I mean if I am offered a job I can imagine screaming louder than if I was having an orgasm.  I will be very happy and beside myself, not to mention it will be a huge relief. 

Mr. Big Boy seems to be doing okay.  I haven’t seen him pee in days.  I’m fairly certain he is going based on how things look in the litter box.  He tends to hold it for as long as he can and then it just all comes out in one huge puddle, which clumps into very large rock type formations.  I’d like to see him pee just to ease my mind.  TAZ has also been extra clingy this weekend.  I know he was sick.  If I feed him now, in an hour or less he wants more.  I just can’t do that.

Right now I am going to wrap this up, clean those litter boxes and settle in to watch The Shield.  It’s a show that either is or was on ABC.  I found it on Amazon Prime and there are many seasons.  I am currently on season 2.  It’s a police drama series and it’s very compelling and addictive to watch.  You think things are going one way and they do a 360 on you almost every time, I never see it coming it’s always like a slap in the face.  So that has occupied most of my weekend.

My replacement bladder for the steam cleaner showed up today.  I need to clean the floors but just don’t feel motivated enough.  I am getting to it this week but it just isn’t happening today.  I learned a valuable lesson, don’t let laundered clothes sit in the dryer more than 1 day tops.  Otherwise, they smell funky and so will your washer.

Happy trails…talk with you peeps later.

 

I think things are looking UP

Being some what apprehensive and anxious I sat down last night and started on the letter to my late partner.  It was very emotional and I eventually broke down.  Then I was able to write more.  Thus far I am up to 8 pages.  It felt like I was talking to him, just communicating information and bringing him up to speed.  I totally understand why my therapist suggested this.  I need to go back and finish it but probably won’t until the weekend when I have a bit more time and freedom. 

Today I got my unemployment check up on me call.  The guy said I sounded like a recording.  I get that a lot.  Anyway, he went down the list from the letter that was sent to me.  They asked for 3 places that I have applied to in the last 4 weeks.  It was easy, just go down the list and presto done.  He called at 8:45am and I of course was up at 5am because I couldn’t sleep.  I was nervous about the call, I don’t know why but I was. 

The mail today brought me a notice from the unemployment people that said until I show up in person they won’t be paying me a dime.  Thankfully I will be showing up tomorrow, but that almost got nixed. 

I got a call from what I think will be my next job.  They scheduled an in person interview as the manager told me they would be.  She had an opening on Friday at 1.  I almost took it but I figure if I keep rescheduling it is only going to hurt my bank account in the end.  So I skipped past it and we went to Monday and just as we were winding things up I realize crap I have therapy on Monday.  So we moved to Tuesday.  I hated that, I’ve always been told take the first date and time that is given, it shows you are eager.  Well I’ve got stuff planned and they are not my only lead at this point.  I honestly don’t think it hurt me one bit.  I am really pumped about it and very much looking forward to it.  My hope is we meet on Tuesday and if an offer isn’t extended in person it will be within a couple of days.

Meanwhile I was going about my business and checking my e-mail.  A job I applied for almost a month ago with a local municipality sent me and e-mail.  I figured ah it’s a rejection.  Nope they want to interview me as well.  It’s set for after hours on Monday.  They chose it and I just confirmed.  I’m qualified to do at least 1/2 of the job.  The other half would be trial by fire and that is not the ideal way for me to learn but when you do learn that way, it sticks with you.

I was lazy for most of the day and finally did manage to get a couple hours of rest.  Then I hoisted myself up and out I went.  Got momma’s medicine (she will be thrilled), picked up the mail, picked up my medicine,picked up cat food and then went to an upscale grocery store.  I was looking for Ground Beef and almost walked out with Ground Lamb.  That would have made for interesting Tacos.  I only had Breakfast and I was starving.  Saw a cute bagger boy and a lot of food that I normally don’t see at the bargain grocery store.  I walked out with some premade Mexican Cornbread, Ground Chuck (he was tasty) and a Two Layer White Chocolate Raspberry Cake.  $16, the cake was the most expensive thing and at that it was $9. 

Came home unloaded, unpacked and started cooking and making a mess.  Meanwhile the children were bugging me for food and I had just fed them 45 minutes ago.  I sware they want to eat every time the wind blows.  Speaking of which I was watching Rookie Blue tonight and TAZ started puking and after that was done he rested for a minute and climbed in the litter box and it came out the other end.  After he was done with that he jumped up on the couch to be with me, which is very much out of character for him.  I comforted him and dug the litter out of his back paws.  He wanted to clean himself up and I told him that will just make you sick again.  I got him to rest and we watched TV together.  Kind of a nice evening. 

My nerves are on fire now because of tomorrow.  I will be going to the unemployment office.  I decided to take public transportation because it will be much easier than me risking wrecking my car trying to parallel park and slug a meter.  I have to do almost a mile of walking but I’m up for it.  If it all works out I will be early and when all is said and done I will be out $4.50 – which is reasonable considering parking isn’t cheap.  I have a friend who works at this office and I am nervous that I might run into him, we haven’t talked in a while.  When I was much younger and over at his house he stuck his hand in my pants, while I was working on his computer.  It was awkward at best and he still identifies as straight.  My late partner warned me about him being after my body and I told him he was nuts, but turns out he was right.  This guy is as gay as I am, I think the only difference is he either hasn’t had sex or hasn’t had much sex.  Hopefully I am in and out and we don’t bump into each other.  If it happens I will just play it cool and see what happens.  He obviously won’t jump my bones while he is at work because he would get fired.  I actually thought about seeking him out but from what I remember his hygiene was questionable at best.  Once this little meeting is over with I will feel much better. 

I don’t want to jinx anything but I really feel pretty good about next Tuesday.  The manager I spoke with really liked me and I really like the culture in the way it’s been described.  So I think it will be a win – win or so I hope.

I did hammer out a letter to my old employer about my vacation pay.  I haven’t mailed it just yet.  When I figured out how much money it was it’s like really do you want to fight for it?  Were talking like $200 and that is before they take out taxes.  Part of me says fight for it because it’s yours and the other part of me says it’s a small amount of money let it go.  Since I am conflicted I am not doing anything at the moment.  I hope with a little time I will be able to make a decision or maybe just maybe the money will show up.  It would help pay for the garbage disposal.

Finally, I did what I have been dreading to do all day long.  Pay bills.  I have enough money to subsist for a while minus paying the mortgage payment.  However tapping into my savings and seeing it be reduced slowly but surely is extremely scary.  I am more than eager to get back to work, then there is no jeopardy at the moment for the house and I can avoid a huge mess.  I just hope and pray that it all goes the way I think it will.  If so I should be a very happy camper.  Stay tuned and we will go on this joy ride together. 

Time to wrap things up and call it a night.  Got lots of TV to watch.  NY MED, First 48 and a movie on HBO Called Kidnapped for Christ.  It was put on by Mike C Manning who I have a mega crush on and he got Lance Bass to produce it.  It’s supposed to be very good.  It’s about kids telling their parents they are gay and the parents signing there kids up for some camp where men come and snatch you out of your own bed at night and when they let you see the light of day you have no freaking idea where you are at and when or if you will ever be sent home.  Who would think a parent could or would do that to their own child.  Sexuality is something we are born with, if you don’t like it is a non negotiable change.  Sure there are people who have claimed to change but what are they really changing?  Their habits and outward appearance that is all.  Those desires for that hot guy or girl are still there deep inside of them festering like a boil about to burst.  They either learn to repress their emotions and desires or they burst at the seams and go full bore for what they really want.  Each day I realize a little bit more that it’s perfectly okay to be gay.  Even though I am pretty well adjusted to the idea it’s nice to feel more and more reassurance.

Talk with you peeps later.  Have a super, awesome, amazing, fantastic, outrageous and relaxing weekend!

Big Boy

The mystery is solved.  Last night I caught Big Boy going in the general area where I had already cleaned.  He was laying down and grunting all the while urine was soaking the carpet.  I yelled at him but it was as if I was talking to the wall. 

I cleaned the mess up right away.  Not all that happy with him, he had retreated to my room.  He needed a wipe down, which he always enjoys.  Then he came to claim some belly rubbing. 

Seeing this behavior makes me wonder if it’s time to part ways.  While I don’t want to, if he is too uncomfortable to use the litter box for urine then I think have to seriously consider it.

Thinking that it might help things I moved the litter box to the area where he went.  I hope that it will help him.  I know using the litter box is a big deal for him but I honestly don’t know of an alternative. 

Thinking about the whole thing just makes me sick – physically and emotionally. 

I did manage to get out of bed, get a shower and get dressed.  I visited the Post Office and got the junk mail.  There were storms in the area so I elected to come back home. 

I called my Health Insurance Company and turns out the person I am seeing for counseling is covered.  I just have to get her to acquire a pre-authorization and then we are set.  I get 20 visit for no cost.  I’m kind of digging that.  I got back to see her tomorrow.

I need to visit the grocery store but will probably push that off until tomorrow.  Although I did think about going today. 

Did some research and found that I actually make $35 too much to qualify for food stamps, which is why the application was denied. 

Today would have been a pay day from my former employer and I was hoping they would issue payment for my vacation.  However, they have not.  I suppose it’s something I am going to have to forego.  I mean I could go through small claims court to try to recover it but that will cost me a small fortune, so easier to just let it be.  It sucks that I have no legal recourse and that they made me more than 1 empty promise.  However, it is what it is.

I called about the Steam Cleaner and turns out the 3 year warranty doesn’t extend to the bladder, which is the part I need.  I think I got a sales person instead of a customer service person.  I placed an order because I need it.  But I am writing the company and I anticipate they will refund my money.  The way I read the warranty everything is covered for 3 years, unless you abuse or misuse the equipment, which clearly isn’t the case here.  The lady told me don’t use vinegar in your machine, only use our products and by the way we are having a sale would you like to buy some cleaning solution.  Uh, no I want the bladder and didn’t plan on paying for it. 

Today has really been a Munday!  I applied for a position that I was overly qualified for and got a phone call from a recruiter within minutes.  He tells me oh we have someone coming into interview on Friday and she is going to get the job.  However, we have another position that sounds like it might be more to your skill set.  We talked and it sounded okay, I’m waiting for an e-mail that details the job and he said he was going to try to get me a phone interview.  We shall see. 

I really want to be able to go after my former employer and while I try to think about how and where I might have a claim, I hear a voice saying concentrate your efforts on solving the bigger problem – meaning get a job.  I’m certainly doing my part but it doesn’t seem to be paying off just yet. 

Talk with you peeps later.

Holiday Road

The meal at my friends on the 4th was okay.  I saw them heat up the Pork N Beans so I had some.  Burgers and Brats for meat and they were both undercooked for me.  If there is pink it’s not done!  Taste was average nothing to brag about.  They also had Root Beer Floats for desert which was quite bloating, but good. 

I figured out where the smell in the house was coming from.  A spot where Big Boy went at least two times.  Someone apparently decided to renew the scent.  The bladder on the steam cleaner broke so I had to use the old cleaner and got things taken care of. 

Okay that was Friday.  Now on to Saturday I awoke to the smell of cat urine again.  Someone apparently doesn’t want me to clean up that spot.  I walked into the kitchen to feed them and stepped in a puddle.  I thought it was cat pee.  Nope the garbage disposer broke and there was a small flood in the kitchen.  Who knows how long it’s been building for. 

Needless to say I was not a happy person.  So I got things contained after feeding the monsters.  Then I had some breakfast and went back to bed.  It was a sleepless night and I have no idea why. 

When I woke up I went to Lowes and got a new disposer for $179.  They had lower priced models and that is the route I went before, some 5 to 7 years ago.  I upgraded in the hopes that this one will last a little longer.  Plus it’s quieter not that it matters, since I live alone. 

I am NOT a plumber.  I watched a couple of You Tube videos and figured things out.  My two main problems were lifting the new unit in place so that I could get it mounted.  I was shaking and had used up most of my strength.  Not to mention I had not had lunch and it was pretty late in the afternoon.  I started at around 2 and finally finished around 6pm.  There were considerable breaks and I had to go back out for some parts.  The other problem was getting the plumbing connected and a hose clamp in place.  There was quite the satisfaction feeling when I was done.  Now I have an old unit that I have no idea how to get rid of.  Last time we had to pay someone to install it because the plumbing was all messed up and it required major re-work.  I kind of which I would have called someone to save me the frustration but considering I did this for $199 with tax, I figured I saved at least that if not more by doing the labor myself.  A plumber would have marked up the part and labor, but it would have been done in less than an hour. 

This experience made me realize once again that I am getting older, I am out of shape and that if you set your mind to it, you can do it. 

My next task was to work on the cat urine.  I deep cleaned it again.  Bought some urine remover and put down two applications of that.  There still is some smell left because I think someone re-marked it but right now I am letting things dry out. 

When I was done my reward was watching The Hangover Part III again.  John Goodman gave quite the performance in that.  Then I watched a movie called Private Romeo.  It was a gay version of Romeo and Juliet, cast inside of a military school.  They were talking from the play but watching the performance made me very horny.  It was a good movie!

Today I awoke to find that my side and back are very sore.  My side is throbbing.  So much that I ate a little breakfast, watched TV.  Cancelled what plans I had for today and went back to bed to sleep through lunch.  I woke up in time for supper.  Fed the beggars and had me some left over Hamburger Helper, which I made a few days ago.  I added to much water but it’s actually okay.  Just a little soupy.  I am itching for Mexican food!

I have filed my unemployment claim for the week.  Need to take care of the litter boxes, and then going to sit in front of the TV and watch time pass me by.  Hopefully, I can find something good on TV.  I’ve got a pint of Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream that I think I will consume.  I will be up for a while but hopefully the time will pass quickly because I am ready to go back to sleep and hope that tomorrow is a better and more productive day.  Not to mention I need and want a shower.

Thus far no interviews scheduled.  My hope is that changes tomorrow.  I hope you had a good holiday and weekend.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Happy 4th of July

If your wondering who the HOT guy is, that would be Paul Vandervort.  Give him a Google, I would like to give him more but chances are high that will not happen.  He is a model, actor and producer/director.  I wish he were a porn star.  :)

Today I am going over to visit some friends and hopefully have a decent meal.  They love to open a can of Pork N Beans and eat them cold, which I think is gross.  So I will be avoiding them.  It will be a nice diversion from my daily routine and it will get me out of the house. 

Not much going on at all today.  The urine smell has returned to the living room.  I am at my wits end on how to get rid of the smell w/o getting rid of the cats and the furniture and the carpet.  It’s nauseating and of course it’s in one of the places that I like to hang out the most.  Best TV in the whole house and I can keep an eye on things in the front and back of the house.  Plus watch most of the children. 

I hope that you see fireworks today and enjoy the time away from work, to take a break and relax. 

Bad Smell

I’ve noticed for a couple days the strong smell of cat urine in the living room.  I thought I had fixed it but it seems to keep coming back.  Thanks to Mr. BLU I am dealing with this.  Back when he was broken, he peed on anything and everything.  We tried constantly to keep the house clean but obviously you don’t see him every moment of every day.  I am glad I got him fixed.  One of the many places he went was in the air ducts.  Well that could be the problem.  I got that cleaned out and the smell is still back.  I’m waiting until darkness falls and then out comes the black light and it should help me figure out this mystery.  I really want to kill him because that smell is not only foul, it stirs up my allergies.  Everyone but me (the human) seems unaffected by it.  Cats, they are a lot of work! 

I had my phone interview this morning.  Things went very well and the lady I spoke with was down to earth, relaxed and empathized with me on my circumstances.  She told me that she was going to pass my application along to the hiring manager and that I should hear something from her next week.  They (the hiring managers) like to do their own phone interviews and then if they think you’re a fit, they will bring you in.  This is a great opportunity, pay is not an issue but it would be a little bit of a commute everyday.  All perfectly okay, this sounds like a great place to work based upon what I heard today.  I’ve got my fingers crossed. 

A few minutes after 2 the phone rang and it was the recruiter I was supposed to meet with.  She called but didn’t leave a message.  Waited a minute or two and called back, then left a message.  She wanted to know if I was on my way or if I needed to reschedule.  I didn’t talk to her and have no plans on returning her call.  She promised to send me her address and well I can’t go someplace that I don’t know where it is.  The bigger reason here is that this is a total time waster.  She will see me for 15 or 20 minutes and then I will never hear from her again.  Meanwhile I have driven 30 or 40 miles one way and wasted my time.  I see no reason to go any further with this.  I mean maybe I am looking at this all wrong but this has been my experience and I figure why waste my time.  Deal with the companies that are hiring directly.

Speaking of which that place that said I wasn’t a cultural fit.  Well one of their recruiters reached out to me on a social job network.  He said I would be a good fit for the position.  I took one look at him and figured he would be a good fit for me.  Man, so cute.  Anyway I wrote him and told him that I was already submitted and rejected.  I really wanted to work for them, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. 

I got me a good nap on today.  I woke up to the sound of a lawn mower.  I knew it was my neighbor and jerked my head up (a slight neck injury occurred from that) and headed to the window.  I expected to see a fit and trim young buck shirtless mowing the grass like last time.  Instead I saw a fat fuck in his moo moo mowing the lawn.  Holy crap talk about buzz kill.  Perhaps better luck next time, if I am here to see it.  Hopefully, I am not.  I’d rather be back at work.  I can find cute guys to look at on the computer.

I was all set to go see Melissa McCarthy’s new film but decided to delay that until tomorrow.  I just lounged around the house today, watching TV.  I dug into the movie collection and dug up 3 Day Weekend.  It’s a good gay film and helped to pass some of the time today.  I did little things and tried to get rid of that odor while the movie was on.  I found a toy that Big Boy was interested in, so we got to play a little bit today.  I never knew that he had it in him.  I always figured he was worn out and tired.  Who knew!

Yesterday I got a call from the Government about a complaint I submitted regarding my former employer.  Turns out what they always thought was illegal is perfectly legal and I really had no complaint.  I almost feel like telling them, but why should I be helpful.  I have also been thinking about exposing my old boss and the affair he is having with one of the office workers.  I would of course be telling his son.  Part of me says yeah, go for the gold and maybe get the bitch fired.  The rest of me says let things be and let her continue to bilk them.  If she does ever get fired, she has one hell of a sexual harassment claim and who knows what other kind of trouble she can stir up.  I would like to see them made miserable and the business crumble.  I mean it is total bullshit that I am sitting here unemployed.  It’s all because the lady my boss was screwing didn’t like me.  She got me fired and planted ideas in his head.  He of course is love struck and will do anything to keep her legs open and available to him, so what she wants is what she gets.  The business in fact isn’t going out of business, they are actually expanding and everyone’s jobs are now secure.  If I would be there I would reap that benefit.  While I am happy to be free of the negativity, toxic environment and petty bullshit – I still would like to be collecting a paycheck.  Plus the idea of things getting busy again would be appealing.  Ah well, I have no choice but to move on.  Think about my situation, then tell me what you would do.  I’m curious. 

Tomorrow will be the last work day of the week, since Friday is Independence Day (a holiday) here in the US.  Most businesses are closed and people will either work 1/2 days tomorrow or at the very least get out of work early.  I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow.  I am hoping that I get invited to some friends house for the holiday.  Otherwise, it will be a boring old time here.  Given my last experience I won’t be soon to return to my mom’s place.  Who wants burnt burgers and no BBQ Sauce, not me. 

Since I have stayed in my hope for tomorrow is that I can have some fun at the movies, get answers regarding food stamps and just have a good day.  Next week is open.  I will have to reschedule my ‘unemployment training’ on how to go back to work.  Another time waster but they won’t be paying me unemployment until I complete this little task.  So I will be working on getting that rescheduled and hope that I get more calls asking for interviews next week.  Until then it’s seek and apply.

I hope all is well in your world.  Talk with you peeps later.

Lesson Learned

My interview this morning I thought was a complete waste of my time.  They opened by telling me that I would have to take a $14,000.00 cut in pay.  Then the interview started.  I wanted to say why bother but I kept quiet and went through with it, if nothing else it was good practice. 

I went to a school district.  Apparently they need money, want my tax dollars but don’t want to pay anyone but the people at the top what they are worth.  I was told that they will finish interviews by next week and then make their decision.  Whom ever they select would have to attend a school board meeting later in the month and the board would have to approve before one could be hired.  The lesson I learned is to avoid school districts and places of higher education unless they post the salary in the ad.  Chances are good that they won’t pay very well.

Now if I got this job, it would be a raise from unemployment but there is no way that I could meet all of my financial obligations.  A lot would have to go like the house, the cats, cable TV, landline phone.  I would basically have to start life over and that isn’t what I am looking to do.  If it means that I have a couple extra weeks in the unemployment line so be it, so long as I get to stay put and keep what I have.  I don’t think that is an unreasonable request. 

I have a phone interview in the morning and then the rest of my schedule for this week is wide open.  I can do absolutely anything I want.  That is not good because my life runs best on a schedule or routine.  Without it I have no reason to get out of bed and no motivation to do anything. 

The one thing I am determined to do is get the cat urine smell out of the living room.  It just started a couple days ago, I thought it was a litter box but no apparently someone has peed on something they shouldn’t have.  Now the challenge is finding it and getting it clean.  I’m inclined to think it’s the couch and that won’t be easy to get clean if that is the case. 

Shy Girl isn’t feeling well and Big Boy has proven to me if the boxes are too dirty he will go on the floor no matter what.  He doesn’t go under the couch unless he is scared and that doesn’t happen often.  Cleaning isn’t something I look forward to but usually once I am in the middle of it, it’s not so bad. 

Made it to the grocery store got out relatively cheap but made up for that by stopping for a tank of gas.  Got to have the go juice to make it to and from interviews.  Well off to see what kind of trouble I can get into.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Last Monday in June

So tomorrow we move into July.  The only thing good about that is that I am able to flip the page on my calendars and see a new face and body.  NICE!  Outside of that I am really not excited to see a new month.  Feels like time is just drifting away.

This morning I got a call from my therapist informing me that she wasn’t a preferred provider so all of the benefits that I was supposed to get for free, well now I have to pay for them.  I kept my appointment today and am waiting for her billing person to figure things out.  I see benefit here but if I have to shell out cash I don’t know that I will continue very long, if at all. 

It’s like just when you think all of the bad stuff that has happened to me, it can and actually does get worse.  Bad things happen, just a part of life. 

I ventured out today and got a new shirt for interviewing.  The sales guy talked me into buying 2 and when I saw the total price I wanted to say put them back, but I paid and walked out.  They apparently don’t sell short sleeve dress shirts any longer, I was told they were hard to sell.  Everyone wants long sleeves.  That is everyone but me.  I sweat like no tomorrow and in the summer short sleeves are the best.  Anyway, I got one really dark blue and the other one is purple.  Both look good, but I’m going with blue for the interview.  I can save purple for a 2nd interview.  I had been dressing down in a polo and dress pants, I mean a tie really isn’t required in my field but I think that might have been part of my down fall.  So I’m playing to win and hopefully I will be able to win me a good paying job soon. 

I’m doing laundry and as soon as the dryer buzzer goes off I will be headed up stairs.  Feed the children their snack and call it a day.  I have to get up pretty early tomorrow.  I put off going to the grocery store tonight and instead treated myself to Red Lobster.  Again I can’t afford it but one has to live a little, now and then. 

Outside of the call from my therapist, the phone has been silent all day long.  The holiday doesn’t help me, lots of people are on vacation or working very short weeks.  I remember the 4th was always something that I looked forward to.  I mean it’s better when you have someone to share it with.  Even if we did just treat it as another day. 

So there you have it Monday in a nut shell.  Not exactly exciting times here but it was certainly a little different day from a normal Monday.  Talk with you peeps later. 

The Weekend

Not much to report from here.  I slept away Saturday.  I had a friend try to get me to go out but I refused.  I just wanted to be left alone in my little cocoon. 

Today I got up around 9 and fed the animals.  Ate some breakfast and watched a little TV.  Reruns of Roseanne.  That sure was a great show.  I love their quick wit and comebacks.  Of course that might be part of the reason I am such a smart ass today.  Then it was back to bed.  I thought I was going to sleep with BLU because he was curled up in my bed.  However, I laid down and it wasn’t much longer he took off.  He waited until I was asleep and then came back.  I woke up and was surrounded by cats wanting lunch.  I tried to fake staying asleep in the hopes I would fall back asleep but that didn’t work out so well for me.  It was 1:30 so I got up and fed them.  Had a piece of left over pizza and a soda for lunch.

Not much on the agenda today.  I feel lazy and I see no reason to get all excited about things.  I would like to get a few things done but hey I’ve got all week.  Tomorrow will spring me into action because I have to get ready for therapy.  I am also thinking of going out to shop for a new shirt for interviewing.  I hope that the phone rings tomorrow and brings more interviews my way.  Right now the race is on, if I don’t have a job by the end of July then I won’t be able to make the mortgage payment for August.  I have the money for it, but since I don’t know how long this unemployment will go on I have to hold on to what little bit of money I have.  Hopefully, everything comes together and I will be back to work soon.

Being rejected a few times leads me to examine myself and wonder what is that I am doing wrong that seems to be scaring everyone off.  I’ve taken a pretty hard look at myself and replayed the interviews in my head.  I can think of a couple answers I would change but I honestly can’t find anything that would cause someone to say I really don’t want to hire him.  The last time I was unemployed it lasted for 2 years.  I thought it was a bad reference that kept me from getting jobs.  I know for a fact that it was a factor in at least 3 jobs that I had interviewed for.  However, I’m wondering if maybe some of that delay wasn’t because of something that I am doing wrong. 

I’ve read books on interviewing, but honestly I’ve done it so much I pretty well know how the game is played.  I am not overly bubbly and I don’t give answers like I am a princess.  I just sit down and talk to the people, keeping an up beat tone and trying to remember to smile a lot.  Smiling goes very far and it’s something that I don’t do enough of.  I am conscious of that, even before all of this bad luck happened to me I was that way.  I mean now that you know my full situation with everything that has transpired your probably saying to yourself if that happened to me I wouldn’t be smiling either.  When I am in an interview I don’t think of anything else but the interview, what questions to ask and constantly being aware of my surroundings and how things are going.  I send thank you letters and do all of the necessary steps, but still in the end I get rejected.  I ask for feedback but it’s seldom provided, mostly because company’s think you will sue them.  If I had enough money to sue everyone that turned me down for a job then I don’t think I would need a job.  The rejection was easily wiped away when I had a job but now that I am desperate and have no job, I kind of take it a little more personal.

I am not sure of what steps to take other than what I am doing, in order to land a job.  The in person interview I have this week requires multiple approvals before one is awarded the job.  I can only hope and pray I am their guy, the pay is right and that we can move the process along as quickly as possible.  It really sucks being in this fight all alone with no partner.  He would try to cheer me up, take me out for the occasional meal and/or sweet treat.  Perhaps we would just go for a drive.  He was concerned about my feelings and trying to keep me on the positive side of things, despite the fact that negativity has been bread into me.  Times like this make that negativity all the more worse. 

The good news is that the bills for the first part of the month of July are paid.  I have a savings account that has $100 held hostage.  Meaning that if the balance falls below that amount a service charge is automatic.  I am so highly allergic to service fees and those fees seem to be making a come back.  I want to close the account but I have had it for such a long time that I am having some reservations. 

Shy Girl has some knots in her fur.  She is slowly letting me work them out with a brush.  She doesn’t like brushing all that much.  Once I get the knots worked out it will be time to trim her claws again.  That is something neither her or I look forward to.  She has warmed up to me a bit since my partners death, because she knows I am the source of the food.  However, she is a picky little girl and thinks that she should have her own special food.  I only give that to her on occasion because it’s expensive and I don’t want to form a habit.  Big Boy is starting to become picky as well.  He turns his nose up frequently at what I serve him.  He will wedge his way in to the buffet pushing aside whomever to try a different can of food.  He doesn’t seem to mind all of the growling, hissing and fighting that goes on when that happens.  I on the other hand hate to hear hissing, it’s just a sign that trouble is on the way.  The females are the primary source for hissing (imagine that).  The males usually remain quiet and look at them like they are crazy bitches.  BLU will push his boundaries until a fight starts, he thinks he is a super cat or something. 

Well I have filed my unemployment claim for the week.  Off to see what other chores I can accomplish before it’s once again time for bed.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

The wait is over

As the title intimates the wait is over, I heard back from the place that I had the second interview on and they chose someone else.  So I am no longer waiting to hear from them, but I am waiting to find a job. 

I got a response to an ad that I answered and they want to do a phone interview.  Turns out it’s at the same time I am supposed to be at the unemployment back to work training.  Gosh, I really hate (not) that I have to miss that.  I of course will have to reschedule as attendance is mandatory.

Got a certified letter from my old employer today saying that they would like me to have my attorney contact them.  They are confused by my sentence “all future correspondence must be done via US Mail only”.  Apparently they want to talk on the phone or exchange e-mails.  If there turns out to be any kind of a claim I want to have proof, thus the exclusion for them to contact me via US Mail.  I don’t have an attorney representing me in this matter.  I told them I was told by an attorney not to sign their agreement.  Apparently they don’t think that one can consult an attorney for a specific matter and not retain the services of the attorney.  Honestly I can’t think of anything else we have to talk about at this point, so I am ignoring their letter.  Perhaps silence will be golden here and they will just go away. 

So next week I have another therapy visit, an in person interview and a phone interview.  One activity per day spread across 3 days.  I’d like to fill Thursday with another in person interview.  Only time will tell.  There wasn’t any ads to respond to today.  A place that is close by said they are hiring 3 people but they want me to take a 13 thousand dollar pay cut.  I can’t afford to do that, I would never be able to pay my bills.  However, they have great benefits.  Too bad you can’t pay bills with benefits. 

I got a response back on my late partners medical records.  It’s another bill and all they did was photocopy all of the documents that I sent them, send them back to me and charge me for photocopying and postage.  Really?  I wrote them and said what gives.  I was furious.  Once I managed to calm down I see the problem, I didn’t specify why I wanted them.  Well, honestly you don’t have to specify why you want them, it’s not required by law.  They wrote me back and asked me for an invoice number.  I provided that and haven’t heard from them since.  I will pick this up again on Monday.  I know the records will cost me a small fortune but it will help me put an end to wondering if he took his own life or if it’s like I believe that he simply was confused and thought he was out of medication that he actually had.  I’m looking for an answer and the only way I will get it is to get the records.  Hopefully, they will comply.  I had an easier time getting medical records from 2 hospitals then I am his physician’s office.  Funny thing is that the physicians office and the 2nd hospital where he was taken are part of the same medical family. 

Ugh, life just seems to be one challenge, after another challenge.  I am tired of fighting.  I just want a job so I can go back to work, earn money to pay bills and get by with the ability to save a few dollars.  Apply and get a home loan, pay off my car and find a nice guy to spend the rest of my life with.  I don’t think I want too much and I am certainly not asking for the stars and the moon, so why doesn’t it all just come together?  Excellent question of which I have no answer to. 

Not looking forward to the weekend but looking forward to Monday and going back to therapy.  Happy weekend!  Talk with you peeps later.

HO LEE SHIT

Wednesday I sat around waiting for it to be time to get ready for the interview.  I actually fell asleep (happens when I am bored) and woke up in time to get ready.  I was in the shower, heard the phone as I turned off the water and began drying off.  Caller ID said that it was the place I was going to.  I had a gut reaction that the interview was cancelled.  Once I got dried off I confirmed that by listening to the message.  They filled the position and cancelled the interview.  They were hoping that the message reached me before I traveled the long distance to their office.  Yeah, I got the message in time but I was not happy.  It would have been much worse if I would have driven there and found out that it was cancelled.  I mean I wasn’t thrilled about the job but I at least owed it to myself to show up and give it a fair shot. 

Thursday I woke up early because of course I was worried about the whole Food Stamp thing.  Turns out it was probably the simplest thing I did all day long.  It was just a matter of confirming what I put on paper was correct.  I didn’t need to gather all of the documentation that they asked for.  Now I have to wait and I will get a letter within a week if I am approved or denied.  If approved a debit type card will arrive within a week.  Oh joy, something else to wait on.  I totally hate that.  I think as sophisticated as their computers are they should know on the spot if your approved or denied.  The lady told me that she was hoping I would be approved the this afternoon.  Yeah, okay hoping and actually approved are two different situations.

I made a stop at Target.  I wanted to get a pride shirt but they didn’t have any, which is usually what happens because I wait until the last minute.  I did get some other things I needed and was very disappointed they didn’t have Orange Listerine.  That was my favorite.  I’m back to Green and not looking forward to it. 

Then it was on to get the mail.  A certified letter was waiting for me.  Gee, I wonder who that could be from?  If you guessed my former employer your right.  I didn’t claim it, I will get around to it tomorrow or Saturday.  I’m sure it’s just more BS.  Unless there is a direct question I am done with them and will ignore them.  I’m sure they are not happy I am not signing the Separation Agreement.  However, they must think I have a claim or they would have never offered it to me in the first place.  It’s their get out of jail free card and it only works if I sign it. 

Then I see a letter from the unemployment people.  I figured it’s a dreaded you must report notice.  Nope this is a you must attend a getting back to work class.  They are going to teach me how to write a resume, how to interview, etc.  Things I already know and am already doing.  I’ve done this before and don’t see the point.  There will be some type of aptitude test and then they will “school me”.  The worst part is that it’s is in a place where there is only on street parking.  First, I am horrible at parallel parking.  Second, I’m not wild about street parking and slugging a meter.  I’m going to a government agency and they are not in a hurry and could care less if I get 1, 2 or 3 parking tickets.  I thought I had an interview the day they wanted me to report but I don’t.  If I did then I would have to furnish them with that information so they could check up on me, like I am a convict or child.  I understand fully that there are people that abuse the system, but I’m not one of those people.  As evidence by my weekly reports and the number of contact that I make.  It’s very clear that I want to get back to work.  However, for all of those that have screwed over the system – the rest of us have to pay.  Totally unfair.  My hope is that I have a job and then I will have a valid reason for not attending. 

I returned a call from a recruiter who wants to waste my time and have me drive 30 plus miles to come see her and her boss so they can figure out if I am presentable and a good candidate to submit for a job.  We talked about it and I let her make the appointment and she promised to send me an e-mail to confirm everything.  She just didn’t say when she was going to send it.  I am waiting for it and will cancel the appointment.  I see no reason to waste my gas so that someone can look at me and figure out if I am a professional.  This is one of those dreaded situations where they call you over, waste your time and gas to say they will submit you and you never ever hear from them again.  I fell for that time and time again the last round, this round I am not going to let it happen unless it’s absolutely necessary.  That is part of the reason why my resume is not posted on any job website because you get offers like this, plus tons of spam and every life insurance and financial company thinks that you’d make a great salesperson for their organization.  I’m not a salesperson I’m an IT Professional.  I want to stick to what I know.

Still waiting to hear from the recruiter from the job I had the 2nd interview with on Tuesday.  I have checked the website and it says that I am still under consideration.  I suppose their HR Department moves very slow.  Typical for a large organization, the bigger they are the slower they move and the more BS and rules you have to comply with.  However, it will all be worth it to me if they make me a decent offer.  Despite the ‘crazy’ people and the myriad of potential immunizations I will have to get, I think it will totally be worth it.  Please let them call tomorrow, it would be the best way to end the nightmare and end the week.  My body/sleep scheduled will need to be adjusted but outside of that I am totally ready to give it a go.  Pick me!

The children are driving me nuts with their begging for food.  They are eating more and better than I am.  I think I should have said I will pay for my food give me help with cat food.  Too bad it doesn’t work that way.  They would have run out of food today if I didn’t go shopping.  So I made my way to the pet store as well.  Now I have nothing going tomorrow.  I can do whatever I want, the entire day is mine.  Want to guess where you will find me?  If you said in bed, chances are pretty good that your exactly right.  Although I have thought about going through some of my late partners crap again and trying to clean this place up a little more.  I also desperately need to wash my bed clothes.  The problem with that is every time I am ready there seems to be a cat occupying my bed.  If it’s not Jumper then it’s Blu and they both enjoy sleeping there.  A sleeping cat is a cat that isn’t begging for food, which is good.  Hence why I don’t want to disturb them.  However, all it takes is 1 to start the choir of begging.  One meow and then several more join in.  You can only put them off for so long and then they feel they have to prove their point to you.  That might be by nipping at you or just constantly meowing despite how many times you ask for them to be quiet. 

I watched a special on HBO called The Case Against 8.  It’s talking about Prop 8 for Same Sex Marriage in CA.  It was very eye opening and I am so thankful that those people stepped forward to help pave the way for the rest of us.  Today is also the day 1 year ago that DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act) was struck down.  I remember I was watching the US Supreme Court’s website while holding my breath.  I was so elated, even though it really didn’t benefit me it’s good to know that it was unconstitutional.  Love is Love is Love is Love.  Now if I just had someone to love it would make this difficult time just a little bit better. 

Lawn Boy showed up yesterday, he was late.  It was very hot out but he was fully clothed.  I soon took my focus off of him and began talking on the phone when 2 hot blond boys started walking down the street.  They were selling something.  I have a no solicitors sign so they got so far, saw that and turned.  I wanted to rip that down and say uh yoo hoo come give me your sales pitch.  It wasn’t the sales pitch I was after, it was them.  Ah well.  Lots of people peddle stuff and that sign discourages about 1/2 of them.  Plus I have no mailbox so it’s difficult to drop off a flyer or literature.  All the more reason why there is no mailbox. 

Well off to see what kind of trouble I can stir up.  I have something to do most everyday next week except for Thursday and Friday.  Friday of course is the 4th of July so it will be a holiday.  Too bad I wasn’t scheduled for the job class thingy then.  That would have been hilarious.  However, I’m sure they would have caught up with me.  If you don’t go then they stop your benefits and well I need the money so I will let them waste my time.  I am interested in seeing where I am at for the 4th.  Last year I was invited to some friends house but I am not sure if that will happen this year.  I really don’t want to be around my family as that will leave me open for questions.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps again.