31 December 2016

Days Left

I got a call from my friend, he was on the way to the hospital to pick up his wife and bring her home.  I found out that she has been hydrated while being in the hospital.  I thought that they were going to discontinue her IV earlier this week but either I miss understood or the game plan changed.  In any case my friend is pretty smart, he seems to know something about everything.  My late partner was like that to a degree.  Anyway he researched on line about how long you can live with out food and/or water.  Your looking at days and not weeks.  She will probably be gone by this time next week or at least circling the drain.

Both of us had jags of crying while we were talking.  I had been upset when I got the initial news and wanted to cry but couldn’t.  The phone call changed that and brought all of my emotion to the surface.  I have been thinking about both of them ever since I got the news.  I feel so bad and so powerless or helpless.  There should be some way to fix this and not having that fix and giving up seems so wrong to me.  However, this is not my decision this is their decision and she is comfortable with it and at peace.  He is falling apart. 

In talking about this, he told me that I may very well be the only friend he has at the funeral.  His son won’t be able to make it. His sister suddenly has obstacles and isn’t coming.  A long term friend of his in CA doesn’t sound like he is coming.  He told me that he was very glad to have me as a friend and that I was a good person.  This almost felt like he was telling me goodbye, but I think that he is experiencing a lot right now and knows that it’s better to express your emotions than bottle them up.

This morning I went to the local Hallmark store.  I told the lady the circumstances and she directed me to the comfort section.  Some of the cards had hope attached to them.  I found one that said sorry your going through a difficult time, I’m thinking of you.  Not those words exactly but words to that effect.  Now I worry that it won’t get there in time, but I will be taking it to a post office that is known for providing excellent service, so if my plan comes to fruition they will have it on Tuesday at the latest Wednesday.  I just really hope that it makes it before it’s too late. 

Yesterday I talked with my boss and told him about what is going on.  He said take as much time as you need.  I told him a day or two at most, it’s going to happen out of the blue so it’s semi-scheduled.  I don’t like to take too much unscheduled time.  I don’t have many friends and those that I do have I care for deeply.  So I’d move Heaven & Earth if that was necessary, being a true friend is of the utmost importance to me.  It’s at a time like this that you need people be it family, friends or just acquaintances.   

While I was at the Hallmark Store I picked up a Yankee Candle called Home Sweet Home.  It’s pretty nice.  I got two smaller candles by Wood Wick, they are both the same scent Rustic Harvest.  I’ve never had any of their candles, always been a Yankee guy.  They are really nice, the wood wick is nice to listen to the crackle, almost sounds like a mini fireplace.  The burn is supposed to be easier and more even.  I just hope I don’t go through them too quickly, they were not cheap. 

Last night I treated myself to Taco Bell.  I found out that if you work 3 hours of overtime the company pays for your evening meal up to $20 but it’s suggested that you not go over $10 if at all possible.  I got $10.66 worth of food so it shouldn’t be a problem.  I only worked an hour of overtime but then the witch I work with made a mistake and I had to be on the phone with a very upset person for 2 hours.  It was not pleasant but in addition to my overtime, I figured why not turn in the meal receipt.  My boss was pretty adamant about me getting something and making the company pay for it.  Now I haven’t had reimbursable expenses since I went to training when I first started.  So I have to ask someone for help on how to submit the expense.  Taco Bell was my choice, since when I got it I didn’t have the OT I never thought the company would be paying for it.  All I was thinking about is I want Mexican Food and Taco Bell sounded really good, so much that it was on my brain the day before.

I’ve got all of the bills paid so I get to tell the kids we can stay here another month.  Ran into the realtor who sold my late partner the house.  He asked me how thins were and if I was going to move soon.  I said all is well and no plans on moving.  He asked me for my card, he was having some computer problems.  Yeah I gave him a card but I really don’t like to dabble in personal pc repair, once you touch it and something else breaks it’s suddenly all your fault.  I like to leave those situations for the geek squad.  I wouldn’t mind giving some basic help but really don’t want to get much deeper than that.  He was helpful to my partner so I would gladly return the favor.

Wow hard to believe the year is going to be over in mere hours.  People will be partying it up and doing all sorts of stupid things.  I’ll be safe & sound here at home with the children watching TV and listening to the police scanner.  I need to do some financial work and of course hang up all of my 2017 man calendars.  Hubba Hubba.  Then I need to update my porn collection, because in my opinion I can’t ever have enough porn.  We all have our vices and Food, Porn & Music are mine.  Got to get some new music as well.  My iTunes library is getting stale.

Before I go I did rent Snowden.  Wow what a movie.  I had no idea on the backstory behind Edward Snowden.  It was entertaining especially to the technology nerd in me.  Kind of interesting in how it all came together.  It was also some scary stuff when you think about it.  I also never thought of protecting my webcam with a band-aid.  I use tape for my laptops.  I keep it unplugged for my desktop.  You can’t connect to it if it’s unplugged, no matter how hard you try. 

So goodbye 2016 you have been a fucking miserable cunt of a year.  Hello 2017 I hope your better than your predecessor and that this will be the year of positive change and all good vibes.  Let me find a man, give me money and keep negative in general away from me.  Then we will get along fine and I’ll sing your praises to the world.  It’s just got to be better because the only direction I can go is up.

Cheers to one & all.  Be safe!

30 December 2016

Cancer - - I hate you

We are taught not to hate, it is evil and wrong.  Hate is such a strong word which is why your encouraged to use it as little as possible.  However, I am human as are you and we experience a wide variety of emotions.  Hate is one of many and there are other things and yes even some people that I apply that word to.  One of those things is cancer.  It robbed me of my grandmother, shaved years off of life of my late partner and has impacted so many people that I know. It has brought fear and depression into my life.  While I have seen my share of success stories, sadly the failures outweigh those that have beat it.  I hope that one day very soon we will have a cure for all cancer and that no one else will have to die because of it.  

Last night the phone rang, it was my friend.  I just knew before I answered the phone that I wasn’t going to be getting good news.  Probably explains why he and his wife were on my mind all day long.  I wanted to call but just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  They got bad news yesterday, this was news that I half way expected to surface but not so quickly.  They have reached the end of the road and there is nothing more that can be done to treat his wife for her condition.  The cancer cells have grown in her intestine an they have caused so much inflammation that there is food impacted in the intestine and it can’t pass.  They are discharging her from the hospital and she will be coming home on Saturday.  Hospice has been called and hospital equipment is being delivered today to their home.  The goal is to make her as comfortable as possible, until she dies.  She won’t die from cancer, that will be a side effect of her death.  She will die from starvation.  She can’t eat or drink anything, as she will just vomit it up.  IV’s will be discontinued upon discharge.  So they are going to give her Morphine and another medication as a mood stabilizer.  They will be tablets that you place under the tongue and they will be absorbed orally.  This sound like a less than humane way to die.  If I were in her shoes I would demand an IV and medicine given that way.  It’s quicker and much more effective.  I would want to be out of it most of the time, as being lucid just wouldn’t seem to be a logical choice. 

I was told that she is at peace with all of this and she has resigned her self to accepting it and wanting to move forward.  He on the other hand will be left behind and he said this is the hardest thing that he has ever had to do.  I sympathize with him and know some of the pain he is experiencing.  When they got married as most couples do, there were vows exchanged.  Part of your duty and promise is to be there in good times and in bad.  In sickness and in health, until death do you part.  In short it’s what we signed up for, nothing thinking about death or negative events but thinking about how positive life would be now that were married to the love of our life.  Death is very much a part of life and it’s something that everyone has a hard time dealing with.  It takes a special person to sit idle and watch the love of their life pass away.  While I offered my sympathies and inquired if there was anything that I could do, I knew in my heart that I was useless and powerless.  I was told thank you but not right now, a typical response.  I only offered because I care and I was most sincere, this was not just a perfunctory gesture. 

I gave what I considered to be the best possible advice.  That is hold nothing back, say everything you need, want and have ever wanted to say.  For soon you won’t be able to talk and the worst thing is living your life with regret.  It’s simple common sense advice that we all take for granted.  So often we suppress what we really want to say be it out of fear, sadness or because you simply don’t want an argument on your hands. 

Through this entire conversation I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I tried to reason and rationalize a solution but he was quick to shoot me down.  Surgery would be the best fix in a normal person.  However, they are afraid she would die on the table.  I said well your already at no what is there to lose.  You will either speed up the process or she will get better.  Frankly it’s not a risk anyone wants to take.  I would want it though, I don’t believe in giving up.  If I gave up would I be where I am in life today?  Not a chance.  The only reason why I chose to end my late partners life is because the chance for a meaningful life and recovery wasn’t possible.  I knew that he wouldn’t want to be trapped in a non-functioning body.  In my friends case her body is fine and functional, she is just sick.  I think that surgery and anything else that could be a viable option should be explored.  I mean she could die in the process, hell we all could die just crossing the street.  However, what if she didn’t die but it gave her a new lease on life and she was able to walk away from this?  While I understand the problem I don’t agree with the solution.  Giving up seems so wrong in this case. 

It is anticipated that she will last 6 to 12 weeks.  You can go a long time without water, but you can go a very short time with out food.  My guess is that is a best guess estimate and that she will likely pass away much sooner.  Time will be like a airplane going 200mph and before you know it she will be gone. 

What do you say to someone that is preparing for the death of their spouse?  What do you do?  I think back to my experience.  What I enjoyed and needed most was people to talk to and people to listen.  To talk about memories and to process what was going to happen.  Most were genuine and real, others were fake and their true colors shined through after the event was over.

It would be great if a miracle would happen but it is not likely.  He is taking time from work.  He remarked last night there is so much to do.  I’ve got to plan a funeral.  Right but that won’t take more than a couple hour at best.  I get that he can’t work from a mental capacity it’s hard to concentrate on anything and a lot of things go by the wayside for a while.  I understand that his life is turning upside down.  Staying busy helps, but you have to do simple stuff and nothing that requires any brain power. 

Much to my surprise this news shook me.  Brought back unpleasant memories and even now I am thinking about no so good times past.  I would walk into a room and forget why I was there.  I knew I wanted to do something else on the computer but couldn’t remember what.  I was mentally flustered.  Even this morning it was tough to get out of the house but I managed to do it in record time and got to work super early.  That gave me time to talk with a co-worker.  Then to get started with this day. 

Things are going rather well concerning my day and the departures.  I will be here past 6 but I expect to be gone by 630p unless something comes up.  My reward will be waiting for me at my local Taco Bell.  That is how I plan on treating myself.  There is work to be done at home but unless I feel a sudden urge I will likely spend it with the kids.  No cuddle time for Bear last night, he wasn’t happy about it but he accepted it.  I am looking forward to taking a break for 3 days.  I hope that on-call proves to be quieter than normal with the holiday mixed in, but only time will tell.  I would rather not think about work after I walk out of the office tonight. 

I will try to post a little something tomorrow but can’t say that for certain.  So just in case things don’t go the way I expect they will, I wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year.  May 2017 bring good to all of us and may our president elect not get us all killed or in a world of trouble.  2016 I think everyone agrees has been a shit year.  The only direction to go is up so 2017 here’s to you and the future.  May it be as bright for all of us as a shining star.    

29 December 2016


Work has been a little intense but nothing like it could be.  I don’t know why but at the end of the day I am wiped out.  Last night I was all set to watch some porn and instead decided it would be better to sleep.  My late partner told me that when your young all you want to do is have sex.  When you get older you just want sleep.  I guess I am older.  This isn’t the first time in my life that has happened but it’s not fun.  We all need a release and the longer I wait the more I want it.  Sort of like waiting for some good food.

Had my massage today and she worked the hell out of my arm.  It’s going to be sore I can pretty well guarantee because it hurt like hell and it still kind of does.  She asked me to remind her next time and she will be sure to work my arms.  Yeah uh probably won’t mention it.  I was hurting so bad I almost passed out.  When I experience pain, especially sharp stuff I hold my breath it’s a reflex.  She reminded me to breath and that helped, otherwise I am certain it would have been lights out for me. 

Spent time with Bear last night, he got into a pretty deep sleep and was running.  Those paws were moving but he wasn’t going anywhere.  He woke up looked at me funny and then right back out like a light.  It was very enjoyable and I am glad that I have the power that allows him to let down his walls and sack out.  It’s healthy and we all need to decompress like that.  I think as humans if we did that more often we would be happier and probably healthier as well. 

Thought my car problems were behind me but last night the system wigged out on me.  I had to do a master reset but got things back to a working state.  I’ve already told the dealership and am waiting to hear back from them.  I am trying to schedule service for Martin Luther King Jr day so that I don’t have to take time from work for this.  I’ve got a doctors appointment the same day so it would be a good fit.  Makes for a busy day but at least I will hopefully be able to check things off my list and mark them as done.  The 2nd trip back isn’t fun but I get it.  If I have to make a 3rd trip that is when I will start a letter writing campaign to the manufacturer and that is when things will take a drastic turn.  Hopefully, we don’t have to get to that point.  I shouldn’t have any trouble at all but 2 visits I feel is more than enough to get the bugs flushed out. 

Don’t ask me how I did it but I managed to bite the hell out of my tongue last night while I was sleeping.  It woke me up but I went back to sleep.  I woke up this morning and thought it was all a dream but my tongue is sore so it had to be real. 

No word from my friend about his wife.  I want to call but I am afraid of what I might hear.  I also want to give him time.  Especially if things have turned sour and she is headed downhill.  Some people like to talk and other people need distance.  I would say he is a talker but at the same time when you experience that great amount of pain, it can knock all of the words you want to utter right out of your mouth.  I’m hoping for the best but prepared to hear the worst. 

So tomorrow is it.  We have a big meeting to go to, I figured that out this morning.  Were all getting a bonus.  They aren’t doing direct deposit so it will all be live checks.  I am not terribly pleased about that but give me the check and I can deposit it on my phone.  It will be in the bank quickly, not as fast as direct deposit but I won’t have to wait until I drive home.  We may close early but I don’t expect that.  I’ve got the end of the year departures to process.  People have already asked for extensions so they can work late or delay their mobile device from being wiped.  I figured this would go off without any exceptions but now that were close to being down to the wire, if your going to hear any noise now is the time that it will happen.  I don’t know why people always like to wait until the 11th hour but it’s how the business world works.  I’m not a fan of that at all. 

Need to remember to bring my calendar to work.  Wouldn’t it be funny if I hung up a man calendar.  I mean it would say so much without me uttering a sound.  We have one guy who has a hot girl calendar in his office.  It’s borderline offensive but if I hung up a man calendar, the complaints would probably pour in.  I’m sticking with my usual theme that has no men pictured on it, much safer for me.  I need this job and that is a point that is hammered home each and every time I pay bills. 

Hang in there, be extra careful and stay safe. 1 more regular working day for this guy left in the year.  Here is hoping that it’s quiet all weekend long.  So that I can squeeze in my beauty rest and naps, I am told I really need them!

28 December 2016

2016 the year from hell

I left early last night and of course who calls me 5 minutes before my shift is supposed to be over?  Right, my boss.  I wasn’t here to take it and he assumed I was gone for the day, which was correct.  It was quiet and boring.  I saw no reason to just sit around, when I could be in traffic and making it home at a decent hour.  There was a brief mention of it today but he said no worries.  I didn’t have to incriminate myself and just remained silent.  What will I do tonight?  That depends upon how the afternoon plays out.  It’s been a very busy morning!

My phone rang last night and it was my friend who’s wife has cancer.  He was once again calling me to tell me that she is in the hospital.  This time it’s pretty serious.  She is impacted in her intestines.  Severely dehydrated and really worn out.  Normally they would do surgery for this but she probably wouldn’t survive the surgery and the incision wouldn’t heal properly.  They are trying to reduce the swelling and keep her hydrated in the hopes that this all passes on it’s own.  If it doesn’t then they will just make her comfortable until she passes away.  I was beside myself.  I said this is fixable and he said no it’s not.  Her body has to resolve it on it’s own or she is a goner.  He was telling me how he couldn’t catch a break and how he just wanted life to slow down.  Now thinking to myself I was thinking the best thing that could happen for him is her to pass away.  Not that I want that but he won’t have the break he wants until this issue is resolved.  It’s unlikely for a favorable outcome and everyone is braced for her to pass away, maybe not today or tomorrow but probably within a few months.  To add insult to injury a repeat cat scan was done and the cancer shows no progress.  He doesn’t know how old the scan they were comparing to was because she has had frequent scans. 

I am just beside myself.  I want her to beat this and be able to walk away but it doesn’t sound like that is going to happen.  I told him to wait 24 hours to see if there is any progress because at that point I would think he should know something one way or the other.  If 48 hours goes by and there is no progress then I would be a little more concerned. 

This is a crappy time of year for me because I am still trying to heal.  Walking him through dealing with his wife’s death is not what I want to do.  I know all too well the pain he is going through and all of the emotions.  He said that things were happening really fast and that is how the process goes, it’s as if your on top of a mountain and someone stuck you in a sled and gave you a push.  Your well on your way to the bottom and probably going much faster than you wanted to.  Your going to reach the bottom but it will be quicker, more painful than you want and you will be exhausted on every level.  Recovery takes time, that is when time does a 180 on you and goes by very slow, your pain is at it’s maximum level and there isn’t anything that can be done to quell it.  You have to go through it and cry, yell and do whatever is necessary for you to expel the hurt and the emotions you are going through.  Were all different and your rate of recovery depends on how your dealing with things, how long you were together and how quickly you are able to settle their affairs.  I don’t mind helping him if she does pass away but I really don’t want it to be now. 

This year has claimed so many people, the results of our election as well as tragedy's that have occurred make this truly a year from hell.  2017 has to have a lot of pleasure in it and certainly has to be much better than 2016.  I look forward to stepping away from the year of hell and into a year of pleasure, peace and enjoyment.  I really hope that 2017 will be better for everyone.

I had my pizza and spent time with the kids.  Had to put Bear on the couch, we were together for over an hour and he fell asleep a number of times.  He also managed to nibble on my fingers.  I put him on the ground and it was like 5 minutes later the phone rang.  I knew when I saw caller id that it was probably not going to be good news.  We had just spoken last week.  For him to call me so quickly meant trouble.  Under normal circumstances we talk around 1 time a month and maybe see each other quarterly, if that.  We have talked more this year than in years past combined.  I really wish that they both could catch a break.  I really hope that we can all get together for dinner again but right now things don’t look so good. 

To end on a positive note.  I confirmed that our massage therapist will be here tomorrow.  I have plenty of knots waiting for her and I imagine that I will encounter some pain, so long as I feel better afterwards and the next day then it will be worth it.  One of my friends thinks that I get massages so that I can experience human touch.  Nope that’s not it at all.  It’s because I am in pain and need it.  I like guys and if I was doing this for the human touch I would certainly want it to be a guy who was touching me.  All of my issues seem to be in my shoulders and upper back.  It’s where I hold stress. Also, I did go chat with the guy at work.  The whole time we were talking my mind was playing a fantasy out.  I was able to keep up with the conversation but I kept eyeing him up and down.  That is so not me but I guess one can only be lonely for a certain amount of time before you start doing things you normally wouldn’t.  It was a friendly conversation where I tried to feel him out and get some knowledge. 

We have all been summoned to a video conference on Friday.  People think that they are going to be told not to come back in 2017.  Not what I know to be true, but then again I am kept in the dark.  I expect it will be a non event or they will tell us they are closing early.  It’s more likely to just be a thanks for sticking with us in the rough times we had earlier this year, sort of a pep talk.  If anything else happens, even if we close early it will be a surprise to me.  I am not worried about it.  My mind is on departures and having a 3 day weekend. 

Stay warm, be safe and hug those that you care about.  You just never know in the blink of an eye how life can and does change.  Talk with you all again soon.

27 December 2016

Quiet on a Tuesday which is Monday

It was as hard as I predicted it would be to get out of bed this morning.  Marvin left me a present in the middle of the night and then cried for me to wake up and let him out.  I obliged him.  Went back to bed some how and had a goofy dream.  Woke up early this morning and my neck and shoulder are killing me, like they have been for days.  Semi looking forward to Thursday if our massage therapist shows up.  She was out last week because she was sick. 

I got up and got things started, breakfast for the children.  Special food for Marvin and then different food for Bear.  Finally I was able to squeeze in my breakfast, I ate an extra banana just because I could.  Then hit the shower and resumed my normal daily working routine.  The drive in was okay, some traffic but not a bunch of it.  Lots of people are still off for the holiday and I am thankful for that.  Hopefully that will translate into smooth commuting for the entire week both ways. 

Got to work early and that gave me time to play with my laptop.  Needed to get it updated and put on some new software I got.  That was accomplished and then I started work.  Plowed through a lot of stuff and even took time to clean up my email.  Our mailboxes are limited to 2GB so you have to work hard to stay under the limit.  I’ve never been anywhere close to that and still have managed to stay well under the limit.  Played on my phone and caught up on all of the social media.  I’ll be taking in a lot of YouTube videos for lunch, I only watch them typically at work during lunch and I am behind because of the break. 

I am all prepped for the big exodus on Friday and can’t wait to get started, the sooner I start the sooner I get to leave and/or stop working for the day and that will make me very happy.  Then I get to spend 3 days with my furry children.  I already miss them and nap time, but we will be together in about six hours from now and nap time will be back soon enough. 

Made a Tombstone Pizza for supper last night.  My oven is wonky, so you have to turn the heat up past where you want it, in order to get anything to cook properly.  I had one slice of cold pizza but it had melted cheese and the crust was done.  I couldn’t figure that out for the life of me.  The rest of the pizza was fine.  I held myself back and saved two pieces for supper tonight, so something else to look forward to.  Plus I still have some cake and plenty of cookies left. 

Yesterday I got an alert as I usually do when I have mail waiting for me at the post office.  I was surprised when I went and found no mail.  It was the first time that has happened to me.  Kind of made me wonder if someone else got my mail.  I got another alert and know for a fact there is a prescription waiting for me from the mail order pharmacy.  So I will be stopping by tonight. 

Got a call from my boss, we were scheduled to meet.  He said that he was burnt out already and that he wanted to reschedule for this afternoon.  No objection here.  Gives me more time to accomplish other things. 

The cute guy here at work that I had a falling out with is all alone today and tomorrow.  I really want to go visit him.  In my head I have a fantasy that should play out and I am feeling a bit frisky.  However, I am resisting my urge, tempting as it might be.  I would like to see him to just say hi and chat for a bit.  Our friendship is over with, his choice.  Funny thing is a guy that used to work with him, left.  Ever since he has been gone they haven’t spoken.  It’s like if you work with him he will talk with you, otherwise your dead to him.  That’s not right but then again he has issues and I find him strange.  Still sexy but strange. 

Now it’s much closer to lunch.  Going to wash my paws and get ready to dive in to my usual lunch and YouTube.  Hope your having a good day. 

26 December 2016

I’m still here

Hard to believe that it’s been a little over a week since I posted anything.  Last week was a blur.  Plenty of stuff at work kept me busy and on Thursday all I wanted to do was go home.  I got to eventually but had to wait for my normal quitting time.  Some of the folks I used to support took me to lunch at Maggiano’s.  I got to try the Chocolate Bourbon Bread Pudding.  It was very good.  They wanted to talk shop with each other and consequently I felt like a 5th wheel.  Plus we were all jammed in a booth.  I appreciated the gesture it was very kind.  I tried to use a $10 coupon I had but they wouldn’t let me.  I figured that would offset the cost for dessert but they wanted to pick up the entire tab so I let them. 

Had my car at the shop on Friday.  The issues I had with Sync 3 drove me batty.  Things got bad and then on Friday when I went to take it for service the damn thing was dead, that was good news for me I got them to see it for their self.  As I suspected a software upgrade is what was the fix.  However, since this has been done I have had one instants where it couldn’t find my phone and another where it was severely delayed.  So I am monitoring it, I don’t think it’s 100% fixed but I do think that things are much better.  They checked all the fluid levels, the tires and detailed it yet again.  I got a loaner to drive around while they held my car hostage.  I am happier now but if we can go a month or two without any glitches then I will consider things solved. 

Yesterday I had my Christmas Dinner with my friends.  I ate Lamb and it was okay, nothing to write home about, just chewy and there really wasn’t any flavor.  I had some ham as well and enjoyed it much more.  This year they were putting on quite the show because her cousin was in town and she had to out do her.  All of the guests were under dressed including me.  However, I figured like everyone else a t-shirt and some jeans was proper attire.  If we were going out and it was a much more formal setting then I would have thought otherwise.  Got my usual $25 gift card for Maggiano’s.  I used the one from last year to take my brother to lunch.  This year it’s being spent on me.  Got my annual phone call from my mom, she left me a voice mail and was starting to loose it when she called, she pulled herself back together and by the end of the very short message she was in tears.  What is a holiday without a little drama, right?  I want nothing more than to sit down with her and explain why I have distanced myself, however the right time hasn’t come yet.  One day it will and it will be a weight off my shoulders, but until then I just forge forward which is all I can do. 

I have spent a lot of time with the cats and catering to them.  We have taken plenty of naps together and lounged around.  I was content today that I was going to get a bunch of stuff done, once I got home from grocery shopping I called it and we loafed on the couch and watched yet another movie.  Plenty of good stuff on Netflix as well as Amazon.  Paid to watch 2 movies.  One was War Dogs with Miles Teller.  It was very good!  I want to see Snowden with Joseph Gordon Levitt but it’s only available for purchase @ $14.99 that is until tomorrow and then you can rent it.  I think that will be something to watch on New Years Eve, if I can wait that long.  Right now I am longing for content as there isn’t a damn thing on.  Everything is on holiday shutdown and Football isn’t my idea of a good time. 

Tomorrow begins a long week of on-call for me, I don’t stop until next Tuesday.  I don’t anticipate this to be a busy week or weekend but one never knows for sure.  That is from my normal job perspective.  Friday will be a jumping day for me because that is when I have to process departures.  I know there will be some OT involved and I am perfectly fine with that.  This will also be the week that we get our last paycheck of the year.  They are 2 weeks behind, but it’s okay by me.  So long as I have earnings to give to my creditors then I am happy. 

There is no question that this time of year is super lonely for me.  I miss my late partner so very much.  I miss the cats that I have lost as well.  I just want the family to be together.  I remarked today that it was nice we were all within viewing distance of each other.  I said who knows if we will all be together this time next year.  I certainly hope so but I tend to look at things from a pessimist point of view.  Each one of those cats are special to me and while we have had our moments at the end of the day love wins.  Bear has now developed the same bad habit as his brother, he nibbles on my fingers.  It’s all cute and fun until he wants to use his canine teeth and that hurts, which is when I start yelling and he stops but only for a moment.  They all know they are loved but Bear and his mother show the most appreciation.  I certainly hope that were all together next year.  I also hope that I can find a guy to be with so that future holidays aren’t lonely.  Tomorrow would be our anniversary, exactly 3 months to the day after his birthday, setup by design by me.  Wednesday marks the anniversary of my grandmothers death.  This too I think will be a tough week but I know I will muster through some how.  I have managed to increase my spending as if physical possessions can take his place.  They can’t.  Nothing or no one can, this is a pain that there is no treatment for.  I just have to suffer through it.  I miss him all the time but the holidays it is much more pronounced and in my face.

I am partially through Home Alone and am going up to finish that with the kids and then to prepare for my return to work, which won’t be fun.  I know I’ll snap right back into things and I expect that everything will be low key and some what quiet but not totally silent. 

I didn’t get everything I wanted to done but maybe next weekend.  I just want to loaf and do nothing, love the time with the cats.  I did manage to wipe and restore my iPhone.  I freed up a bunch of space and have a little bit better performance from it.  Which is why I did it in the first place.  I was nervous about my 2 factor services but if you encrypt your backup with a password and go through iTunes you have nothing to worry about so long as your restoring to the same phone.  When I bite the bullet an upgrade that will likely prove to be a true challenge. 

Hope you had a very Merry Christmas.  Hang on just a few short days left of this miserable year, hopefully no one else dies.  George Michael was very much unexpected.  I’ll try to post from work but don’t be surprised or alarmed if it doesn’t happen.  I didn’t intentionally try to alarm anyone, it’s just that life got in the way.  That happens to all of us.  Here’s hoping for a great week ahead and that the blessings in 2017 outweigh those from 2016.  2017 I hope is a much better year for all of us and that it will be the year that I find a true boyfriend.  Not looking for anything other than companionship but hey we all have needs.  Yowza!  Talk with you all again soon.  Be well.

18 December 2016

Sunday Single Digit Temps

It’s been nothing short of cold here.  Were down into single digit temps and had some snow and ice.  Thankfully since I headed the warning from yesterday, getting out today was really easy, despite the cold.  I use those cold weather features each time I get in the car and love them, makes me wonder how I got along without them!

Found some money in my late partners name last night.  About once a year there is a news blurb to visit your state treasurers website to search for unclaimed property.  I’ve found items in my name in the past and now I have found a refund that my late partner was owed.  It’s $9.  Cost me $2 in paper, postage and ink to claim this, but it’s my money I might as well have it rather than letting it sit out there in limbo.  The process is easy enough if you find money in your name, but when the owner is deceased you have to send all of this mickey mouse paperwork to prove that your entitled to it and the rightful person to inherit it.  I know that if he were alive he would have gone after it.  The place it’s from is very confusing, never heard of them before.  Plus they display his physical address, which is our house.  Makes me wonder if the post office sent that piece of mail back because it was improperly address (we don’t have a mailbox, but use a PO BOX) or if the organization just gave up and turned the money over to the state without even mailing it to him. Questions I will never have answers to. 

I took my search farther and looked for co-workers and friends.  I found a ton of stuff out there, people just don’t think about this stuff.  I am sure that I will get calls or emails tomorrow expressing appreciation, which is fine.  I like to look out for others and help people, it’s just my makeup. 

So I did indeed dine at the Cracker Barrel for breakfast and was seated by said Cracker Barrel Boy.  He asked me how I was and then told me that he has been busy.  I get it, you don’t want to go on a date.  Why beat a dead horse, it’s already dead.  I just don’t understand why he put feelers out if he wasn’t truly interested.  Another thing to add to the list of things I will probably never have answers to.

The season finale of Shameless is on in 2 minutes.  Can’t believe that this season is over already but it makes sense.  I hope that the next season starts really soon.  I do look forward to watching this show and it’s the only reason why I subscribe to Showtime. 

Been a very relaxing day, spent time this morning with the kids.  Yes, Bear was on my lap and enjoyed every second of it.  I love and appreciate them so much.  They truly help keep me going.  Well got to run because it’s Showtime.  Stay warm, be safe and I will talk with you again soon.

17 December 2016

Holy Fuck–it’s winter!

It has been a busy week, there have been some ups and a lot of downs.  Friday driving home was horrible.  We had some rain that froze and everything and I do mean everything was nothing but a sheet of ice.  I went slip sliding several times on my commute to get home.  Once I managed to get home it took me over 15 minutes to get my car in my driveway, since I fought that fight I decided to keep on going and put it in the garage.  Jesus it was so difficult and I felt so helpless.  I know I gave the neighbors a good show and they probably all thought I was going to crash, but like everyone else in the world I take risks.  I try to error on the conservative side and not go do anything that is boldly stupid, but you know I’m not perfect.  I was very glad to finally be home after a two (2) hour commute.  My nerves were shot!

Got a call from my friend who’s wife has cancer.  He was still out and all roads that lead to his house were blocked and traffic was backed up.  So he stopped first for a bite to eat, thinking that time would help make things better, as it so often does when it comes to traffic.  Boy was he wrong, it only got worse.  So he stopped at a local bar and had a drink.  We were talking while he was driving and then when he was at the bar.  His wife is home, she had been hospitalized again last week because her incision came open.  She had surgery over the summer.  The wound hasn’t healed properly and now she had to go to a wound care specialist.  Just what she needs, yet another doctor.  She has had her second (2nd) round of chemo.  She goes for the third (3rd) and final dose in the new year.  Then they will do a repeat cat scan and decide how best to proceed.  Based on what the doctors have told him, he has resigned himself to the fact that he is going to loose his wife, it’s just a matter of finding out how much time they have left together.  I know that if she can get well enough, he wants to travel and go do somethings that they didn’t get a chance to do.  I hope they can travel and do those things, that is so important.  It speaks to the phrase don’t put off what you can do today for tomorrow.  I hope that however much time they have together be it five minutes or 20 more years, I hope that they enjoy and savor each and every moment because life is way too short.  Personally I agree with him that she is going to pass away and I think that it will happen too quickly.  I am still holding out hope that a miracle will happen and/or that her body is responding to the treatment so that it helps to prolong her life. 

Saturday, temperatures climbed past the freezing point but that was short lived.  We got more rain and authorities have asked everyone to stay home and not travel.  Many people are not heading that warning.  As a result all of our police, fire and ems people are overly busy.  I was one of the smart people who was out in the morning.  I had to push myself pretty hard but I made it.  The one place that I wish I wouldn’t have gone is the post office.  I got one piece of mail and it ruined my day.  It was a bill from my attorney for a legal matter that is in progress.  I shelled out a large amount of money for a retainer when I hired him.  Now all of a sudden he’s used that up and needs more money.  I don’t expect him to help me for free, but it would have been nice not to be caught off guard with this bomb in the mail.  I don’t understand why every time I manage to get a little bit of money there is something that comes along to steal it.  I am happy to have a small nest egg and had to rob from that in order to pay the blood sucking bastard.  I am sending a note along with my check and demanding an itemized bill so that I can clearly see where all of my money went to.  Also that when we reach a specific threshold I am contacted so that I can prepare accordingly.  After getting that bill I developed a huge case of the dropsies.  I dropped cat food at the store.  Knocked items off the shelf at the grocery store and for the grand finale dropped a 12 pack of soda and managed to break part of my fridge.  Fuck I was pissed and it only got worse. 

Considering that I was mad I thought keeping busy would help me.  So I went to change the locks on the front door.  They were a little bit easier than the locks on the garage door and thankfully everything came together.  Both installations look superb.  At the moment I am the only key holder to my home.  However, I have a lock box that has a spare key so by giving out the code I can grant access to anyone in an emergency.  I plan on taking a key to my friends house for Christmas.  I’m going to tease them and tell them that I have moved just to get a rise out of them.  It’s classic me, always kidding. 

Friday I went to the doc in the box at work, managed to get steroids and the antibiotic that I asked the last doctor for who refused to give it to me.  They insisted on checking my blood sugar and let me tell you I really hate little pricks.  My finger hurt so bad and the bleeding had not stopped when they took the cotton ball away.  I waited for the nurse to leave the exam room then I got up and got a tissue and applied pressure.  That got it to stop.  The steroids are to help treat the sinus issue but more for my arm.  There is no blood clot present based on outward appearances.  The thought process is that something went awry when I had to have my blood work done.  The steroids should help promote healing by reducing any inflammation that maybe present.  If this isn’t better in five days then I need to have either a cat scan and/or a Doppler study done to figure out what in the world is going on.  Then I could be referred on to another doctor, like a cardiologist.  I’m telling you for 45 I am falling the fuck apart.  Where do you go to get a better body?  I know the gym or a plastic surgeon.  Let’s hope the drugs fix things.  I think it’s a repetitive motion injury too much iPhone, typing and masturbating. 

Big Boy Bear is doing his part in keeping my nerves on edge.  He hasn’t used the bathroom since yesterday evening.  He worries me so much.  Just about the time I am getting ready for bed will be when he decides it’s time to go.  I’ll be frustrated at the timing but very happy to know that he’s not blocked.  The food I am giving him is designed to break up the crystals so he shouldn’t block again.  That is not a guarantee.  After shelling out a ton of money to my attorney the last thing I need is a huge vet bill to go along with it.  I don’t want any of my cat kids to get sick or pass away but I know it’s going to happen.  Can we make it not happen around a major holiday, I mean I am depressed and lonely as it is, that will only make it worse.  

So tomorrow I decided that after a few weeks of not hitting up Cracker Barrel I am going back tomorrow.  Not sure what if anything will happen kind of depends if he’s there or not.  Then I need to hit up the grocery store.  I visited the upscale store today because I needed oatmeal and took a chance that they would have it and they did.  Doing my regular shopping on Sunday.  Then a trip to the gas station to top of my tank.  I like to keep a full tank with the way the weather is because you never know when you might be stuck in traffic for hours at a time.  Better to be prepared thank to put it off.  I am really thankful that I stopped for gas on Thursday instead of waiting to do it on Friday.  Stopping for fuel on Friday would have made my commute so much more worse.

Had some delicious Spaghettis with meat sauce for lunch and supper was a turkey dinner for one and I threw in a piece of Black Forest Cake with Cherries.  I’ve munched on Christmas cookies as well.  Feel like I am living the high life even though I am as poor as a church mouse.  You just got to treat yourself once and a while.  If I don’t do it, then who will?

Speaking of treating myself, I got a Christmas card from my boss and there was a gift card to Chipotle.  I’ve only been there once and it’s really good.  However, it’s by the office and you have to walk several blocks to get there.  I am just way too lazy.  Now I have a reason to go but will probably wait until there is warmer weather. 

There you have it the high and low lights of my life.  I hope your warm and doing well.  Hard to believe that next Saturday will be Christmas Eve.  Looking forward to having two (2) extra days off.  Were closed on Friday and Monday.  Found out that there will be no work on New Years Eve and that Friday the 30th might be a very long day for me.  I can come in late if I want but I am too interested in the money so I’ll work my regular shift and then everything over that will be overtime.  Then I get a three (3) day weekend and we leap into the New Year.  Anxious for 2017 and really hope that it sucks way less than 2016.  A lot of that will depend on our president elect and decisions he makes. 

Talk with you all again soon. 

14 December 2016

Best laid plans

I thought today would be a picnic and I could easily accomplish a lot of things.  Boy was I wrong.  No cunt to bother me but there were other interruptions and today was a popular meeting day.  Thankfully one of those meetings was on Diversity Training and I was able to catch a nap.  Seriously I fell asleep multiple times.  Boring topic, I mean I’m gay I think I know more than the average person on diversity and inclusion.  Maybe I just think too highly of myself.  Either way it was a snooze fest for me. 

After my nap, it helped me get back on track to accomplishing what I wanted to do.  Didn’t get it all done but I guess that is why there is a tomorrow.  Making a quick blog update, shutting down all of my equipment and then going out to sit in the conga line to get out of the garage while my car warms up and eventually will produce heat. 

Checked on the children this morning when I got in.  If I don’t do it right away I will forget and hours will go by before it occurs to me to check on them.  Once I’m in I stay connected all day long, seeing the browser window open reminds me to go back and check on them.  I found Bear rolled over on his back and PTFO (passed the fuck out).  I made a video last night of him trying to sleep on my leg.  I stalled for as long as I could because it was apparent that he was quite comfortable.  I hate to disturb him but I had to get ready for bed at some point. 

Had Mac & Cheese for dinner last night, not too bad.  Felt guilty after eating it but it was so tasty.  Tonight will be Chef Boyardee Ravioli.  I am not a huge fan of them but it’s something different and quick.  Anxious to eat and then spend time with the kids. It’s what I live for seeing them surround me and pass out.  Bear on my lap, it just brings me comfort and joy – lord knows I need a lot of that right now.  Really feeling the loss of both cats and my late partner, will kind of be glad when the holidays are over so life goes back to more of a normal state. 

Well that’s it.  Time to power down and hit the dusty trail.  Take care, hope you had a great day.  Stay warm and come back again because there is plenty more talking for me to do. 

All Clear Tuesday

We had some flurries and some drizzle this morning, but it was above freezing so all liquid and no ice.  Temperatures are set to plummet much like my bank account after payday.  Thankful for warm clothing, heat and cold weather options on my car.  All of this comes in handy at some point.  Got my portable heater at my desk, it’s on but hasn’t quite gotten cold enough to kick on today.  Oddly thinking about it makes my feet cold. 

Just got a decent amount of names for end of the year departures.  There could be more coming, waiting and seeing.  I will be a busy boy gathering information.  I saw that most people are leaving on the 31st which is Saturday.  It’s still up in the air as to when access should be cut off but I can do it on Friday or Saturday, makes me no difference.  Just as long as I am allowed to do it all from home I am fine with that.  I really don’t want to travel anywhere on the 31st after dark.  It’s tricky enough getting around in the daytime. 

Today is Patch Tuesday, time to download updates from Microsoft.  I’ve got my laptop & desktop updating now.  Still have one laptop at home that is powered off that will need to be updated.  I’ll get to it but it’s not at the top of my list. 

I felt kind of strange last night.  I couldn’t make a decision, my balance was off and this all hit me around the end of the day and only got worse once I got home.  I planned for Mac & Cheese but I had a Chicken Pot Pie.  Ate it sitting next to Bear who was beside me at the table.  He had to have attention while I ate.  I found him in the kitchen when I got home, so I knew that he had been in Marvin’s dry food, which if that is all he eats is toxic for him.  I made sure to push his normal dry food, which is what is keeping him from developing stones and blocking again.  He really did a bladder dump last night and then again this morning.  I think he holds it until it’s just too painful and then lets it out.  He tries to buy time to see if daddy will be around to clean him up.  If so great, if not well then once he can’t take it anymore he goes.  Maybe I am wrong but it’s what I observe.  Speaking of the bathroom, his next order of pee pads came yesterday.  One day ahead of schedule.  I always keep 1 box in reserve.  They come in handy around the litter boxes for everyone else to catch the litter that is on their feet once they get out of the box.  Plus if there is a miss it saves me from having to clean up a mess, smart thinking on my part. 

Pulled the trigger yesterday and I am officially changing the locks on the house.  I wanted a high ANSI grade lock.  There are 3 stages.  1 and 2 are primarily for commercial use and 3 is used for homes and is the weakest.  I got a good deal but the locks are all ANSI 3.  That’s not to say they won’t keep people out, because they will.  They are bump key resistant which was one of the things I was looking for.  I wanted to do this years ago when I moved in but someone was against it.  I understand why now.  Locks are not cheap.  My requirements outside of being immune to the bump key was that I had to have keyed alike locks and they had to come with the exact or greater number of keys that I needed.  I didn’t want to have to make a trip out to have keys copied. Amazon had me covered so I went with them.  I hope that it’s just as easy as switching hardware and that I don’t have to make any additional modifications.  If I do then I may need to engage someone because I am not handy when it comes to hardware and tools.  I can fix a computer but you give me tools and I turn into a non functional person, who is almost guaranteed to mess something up. 

In the middle of composing this I had to break away because of issues at work.  Thankfully everything is resolved and the crisis is over, at least for now.

I got 2 gifts yesterday.  One a water bottle and the other a daily cat calendar.  I almost bought the daily cat calendar on my own, but thankfully I didn’t.  Payday is tomorrow and I have to remember to get some cash in the next few days so I can give it as a holiday gift to my friends.  Oh the best thing that happened yesterday was a small gathering of people that I used to support are going to take me to Maggiano’s for lunch.  The date is still up the air but just the thought of it made my face light up from ear to ear.  I am so looking forward to that and know that it will be a good time. 

Time to start Wednesday without the cat shaver aka the cunt.  Yesterday I got a couple notes from her one of which she apologized but messed up some of my account settings.  She claims it was an accident and it’s plausible but she is such a perfectionist that I think it was done on purpose.  If I would have done that to her she would have raised the roof and not only would I be called on the carpet but I would be made to fix it.  She just said I effed up sorry buddy.  Now I have to go fix her mistake.  Totally not fair.  I’m mentioning it to my boss but I have to be careful in how I approach this.  He has a fondness for her because they have worked together for years.  However, he has to know what a royal bitch she can be at times.  I don’t want anyone to say anything to her, I can do that myself but am choosing not to.  I just want him to know that she effed up. 

Onward ho to begin Wednesday, it’s going to be busy today I can just feel it in the air.  That is fine all the more quicker it will be time to go home.  Then I get to sit down and give away my money, aka paying bills.  Hope that you have a great day and are staying warm.  It seems to be getting colder as the days go by.  Would be nice to see a White Christmas. 

12 December 2016

Ice–Ice Baby

Remember that song by Vanilla Ice?  Just got a notice on my phone that a Winter Storm is coming and were in for Ice.  Not a huge fan of that, snow is no problem.  Unless it’s super treacherous it won’t stop me and I can’t pretty well grantee we will be open, because we don’t close for weather unless it’s extreme.  Might be interesting to see who shows up for work tomorrow.

Today has truly been a Monday.  I didn’t want to get out of bed.  Found drool on my pillow.  I could blame it on a cat but no one was sleeping with me.  Marvin boycotted me last night, he acted like he was going to join me and then just about the time I was wrapping things up he hightailed it out of the room and wouldn’t come back.  He’ll be in there tonight. 

I got on a call with the Cunt and she wouldn’t shut up and was going in 100 different directions.  We weren’t able to accomplish the task we were on the call for, so I get to talk with her again right after lunch.  She is really being dramatic and doing everything she can to pull the rug out from under me, she acts like she is so helpful and that she is doing things for my benefit but I am smarter than her and know that she has her own agenda.  She has managed to make me angry on more than time this morning.  Eventually I tuned her out and started falling asleep while she rambled on.  Good God I wish she would go on vacation already, a day without her is far better than a day with her.  I’m stuck with her and she is stuck with me, so we have to try to make it work – even though she already did irreparable damage.  Still waiting on that apology that will never come.  I just want to stay as far away from her as possible. 

Got my heater installed this morning and it’s nice.  I put it on an outlet strip that controls my cube lights, I turn that off without fail every night when I leave.  I don’t want to forget to turn off the heater, so that is my fail safe.

Figured out by last nights episode of Shameless that Ian appears to be staying in the cast or so it seems.  Interesting episode last night.  Ready to see what next week brings.  It’s never a dull moment with the Gallagher Clan around. 

So this is the start of the last full work week of the year.  I pointed that out to someone this morning and they took me to task but quickly realized that I was right.  Yep, time is passing before our very eyes.  Very difficult for me to comprehend that this year is about over but I am ready to get on with 2017 and let the good times roll.

Have a great day and stay warm!

11 December 2016

Sunday no fun day

As with most Sunday’s the realization that Monday is around the corner becomes a sobering reality.  This Sunday is no different and the fact that I have to go back and work with the Cat Shaver aka Cunty McCunterson is not a welcome thought.  There is little I can do about it but go and do the very best that I can, which is pretty much how I address each day of work.  I may be happy, I may be sad or I may be feeling some other emotion but work is just that, work. 

Today I woke up early long before any rain or snow had a chance to fall.  Looks like the weather man made yet another blunder because we didn’t get anything in the way of precipitation.  I went to IHOP and had more Stuffed French Toast.  I thought I’d be cute and back my car in, well that was a bad idea.  I went to reposition the car and I scraped against something.  Got a minor scratch on the back bumper, but being a black car you have to be on top of it to see it.  I have ordered some touch up paint which should fix this.  It is my belief that I am keeping Amazon in business. They have to just love me for all of the money I spend on that site.  I’ve got deliveries coming this week starting Tuesday and they don’t finish up until Thursday.  Pee Pads for Bear, Allegra for me, Touch Up Paint, High Shine Car Wipes and Glass Clean Wipes.  Nothing terribly exciting just package after package.  I should have went to visit Cracker Barrel Boy and this wouldn’t have happened but if grandma had balls she would be grandpa.  In other words there isn’t much I can do about it  It’s done and over – there is no going back. 

At the grocery store I got what I needed, picked up the last 3 jugs of drinking water that they had.  That is a hot commodity which is a huge surprise to me.  I am in the dairy section I went to get my phone and put it back, also pull up my pants and not sure what did it but I severed a nail.  It didn’t hurt but looked horrible.  I had to wait until I was home to even things up and file it down.  So there is strike two for the day. 

Later in the day I am going to label my heater for work and wasn’t paying attention.  I stepped on Insty’s tail.  She was pissed and there you have strike number three for today.  Holy cow, I hope I don’t make anymore strikes there are still a few hours left between now and bed time.  I apologized to her but she wasn’t having it.  I know she has forgotten all about it now but I still feel bad. 

I wanted the Stouffers bake I had last weekend for supper, but they didn’t have it at the store.  I had to settle for the Marie Calendar’s version which was smaller and not as tasty but it was good.  I also forgot to mention to the dope that was checking me out that I had a coupon.  The authorization hit my card and then he backed out and took the coupon and then authorized it again.  Now it looks like I have 2 transactions that are going to post to the card.  I saved the receipt just in case.  Normally I am quick to record and shred them, unless it’s for a large purchase.  In a couple days this should all be settled and then I can hopefully shred it.  I am not happy that I have some credit tied up for a charge that probably isn’t going to materialize (with any luck). 

So another episode of Shameless is on tonight.  I heard that Ian was going to die this season and be written out.  Looks like that wasn’t accurate, he is going across country with Mickey and I think his character will be gone from the show.  If that is true I won’t be happy.  Ian (Cameron Monaghan) is the main reason why I watch the show.  I’m waiting with baited breath but from what I can surmise it appears a good portion of this episode will be devote to Ian and Mickey.  I really hope Ian isn’t gone for good. 

Been checking on my offender all day and it’s been quiet.  Had a few emails pop in but nothing that I had to run to the computer for.  I snagged some overtime which will make my last paycheck of the year look pretty good.

I hope it’s an uneventful week and that things go smoothly.  Maybe we will warm up a bit.  The furnace has been running non stop.  I’ve never been this sensitive to cold but I guess everything changes with time. 

I only shave once a week because my skin will break out with shaving bumps and they are not good to look at nor are they fun to have, they hurt.  I like some scruff so I thought I would do some trimming with a beard trimmer.  Yeah wound up shaving it all off as per usual.  Maybe I will grow a beard if I can get past the itchy stage.  I just don’t like the fact that there is white in my facial hair, but I guess better there than on top of my head.  At least on my face I can chop it off and no one is the wiser. 

That’s all I got folks.  Looking forward to a fast moving week.  Last full week before Christmas, which is really hard to comprehend.  First Day of Winter is on the 21st.  Time to go grab and ice cream cone, a bear and a bottle of water.  Shameless is on!  Have a great week, stay warm and you know we will be talking.   

10 December 2016

2 Cold for anything

Shiver me timbers, it is cold outside!  I have really been feeling the cold and been cold as well.  Cranked up the heat at home, everyone is comfy.  Since I am on-call and the weather is crappy it was hard to motivate myself to do anything today, except loaf.  I did that quite well. 

For some reason I woke up at 5 and couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up.  Fed the kids and had breakfast myself.  Then looked at my phone, nothing urgent.  Checked out social media, entered some comments to flirt with a couple guys and watched TV.  Bam out like a light after about an hour. 

Woke up, had lunch and fed the kids lunch.  Funny how they know the word lunch means food time.  They all perk up when they hear it.  Watched a little more TV.  Then decided to go lay down in bed, I turned on the electric blanket and turned it up high.  Started watching TV and then I was dozing.  I woke up and shut the TV off.  Then after about 30 minutes the phone went off.  Had to get out of my nice warm bed.  Came down to the computer and worked on an issue, it took a couple hours.  Then it was back to bed and man did I sack out again.  I had a task to preform for work and I overslept, but still managed to get everything done, I was a couple minutes late.  Since someone is misbehaving at work I have someone to monitor.  It sounds like fun and for the first few minutes it is fun.  When it requires you to check on them every two hours, it gets very old very fast and the fun has long gone.  I don’t understand why adults can’t simply be adults instead of behaving like a 2 year old. 

So after my task, I decided to get dressed and go out.  Grabbed the mail, picked up some food for the kids, then on to Target for cat litter and a space heater for me.  I’m taking the heater to work, it did get hotter on Friday but only by 1 degree and my feet were still freezing.  I spent $25 on the heater and know that it could be confiscated since it is contraband.  I just hope no one finds it, that I don’t blow a breaker and that I manage to get warm.  All I want is to be comfortable.  I am not the only one who has one of these gizmos.  There were a two people that used to work in my office that both had toasters at their desk.  Those are not allowed in the building at all.  They are energy wasters and a fire hazard.  In fact I unplug mine at home and only plug it in when I’m using it.  I’d urge you to do the same.

After dropping $100 I came back home.  Time to feed the children again.  I put a pizza in the oven for me.  45 minutes to cook, which is fine.  It was time to check on my offender.  Then I went back upstairs and prepared to dive in to my delicious pizza when all of a sudden the damn phone goes off again.  Why is it when I am on call I actually get bothered and the work seems to pick up?  My counter parts don’t experience this, it’s like shit takes a break until I am on duty and then it comes to life.  I would gladly trade these busy on-calls for some quiet time.  Not that I don’t want the overtime but I’d actually like to not be chained to my phone and spend my day off working. 

Friday I had a great time at the office holiday party.  Some great laughs but it was nothing like last year or the year before.  There was good food and the drinks were flowing like water regardless of what you were drinking.  That’s because we pay by the drink, so I would take a sip of soda and presto a waiter was there to switch it out.  Wow, service but it got annoying after a couple times.  Said good bye to a contractor who got a promotion.  I had alone time with him and felt the urge to come out but I didn’t do it.  He’s very religious but he likes to fuck, I only say that because he has 4 kids and he’s only 30.  When you fuck and make kids that costs money.  I’m glad men can’t get pregnant, one less worry for me.  Anyway, I really liked him and he was super cute, there was a mild crush there.  However, I really think he already knew.  He said he would friend me on FB and we are friends now but only because I unblocked him and sent the friend request myself.  He’s on a special list so he doesn’t get to see everything I post on FB for obvious reasons. 

I won a door prize and got 30 minutes of massage, which will come in handy.  My back is really jacked up.  Miss one week of massage and everything goes to hell.  So anyway, I came home and really had to let out those drinks.  Was never so happy to see a bathroom in all my life.  Checked my phone and sure enough there was work waiting for me.  We had an immediate departure that I had to take care of, good thing I was home when it came out.  In the middle of that I got a call back asking me to lock the doors for that location, there was a threat of physical violence.  Translation the person who got fired wanted to fuck up a few people.  She was dumb enough to actually come back but security guards caught her and told her to leave.  I still got the doors locked.  Amazing what you can control with a computer.  So a departure that should have taken 15 minutes was more like an hour long because of frequent interruptions.  I hate to hear of anyone losing their job at anytime but right now is a pure crappy time to be in the job market, since Christmas is around the corner. 

On a different note I got an offer to come back to Dekkoo, which is a gay movie service.  They don’t show hardcore porn, there is some softcore stuff but that does nothing for me.  I am more interested in gay themed movies, some are great and others really need work and I am surprised they were released.  This service is neat but I think they are struggling to keep a subscriber base.  I got a good deal for a few months, riding that out and then will have to make a decision to keep it or chuck it.  I have been watching this series called Hustling.  It’s about a male escort who wants to become a chef and get out of porn & escorting.  When the series first starts, you really get a sobering look or it was a sobering look for me into that world.  A guy calls you.  You go meet him and he opens the door.  Turns out he is like 500 pounds.  Wow, I almost swallowed my tongue.  The escort serviced him, meanwhile I was throwing up in my mouth.  I guess when your in that business you have to be accommodating in various different ways in order to earn your money.  The trick to the whole escorting thing is that you can have sex but you have to make sure that your client knows they are only paying for your time, that boys and girls is how you avoid going to jail for prostitution.  I’ve watched way too much TV to know that.  It’s an interesting series and I am about to wrap up on Season 3 and then I will have to wait and see if there is more content created. 

I have thought a time or two about calling an escort but when I see how much they want, that easily makes me change my mind.  Sure I could have a good time but I really don’t want to pay for sex, companionship or for that matter someone’s time.  That all should be something that is mutual.  I’d feel cheap for engaging an escort.  We all have needs.  Right now I am all about the companionship and just being able to talk with someone, enjoy their company and maybe grab a movie and a bite to eat.  Nothing too serious but I don’t want to deal with rejection.  I’ve been watching guys on Grindr and I’ve been hit on a few times despite having a blank profile and no photo.  I just like to see what is out there.  Sadly, there are a lot of familiar faces.  Even one of the jerks who I had a date with is back on there.  There are some new faces and a lot of younger guys which is what I am attracted to.  Most of them wouldn’t want an old geezer like me, despite the fact that I am not that old, in the gay world I am already in a nursing home drooling in my cream of wheat.  I’ve thought about it and decided that after the 1st of the year I will jump back into the on-line dating world again.  Not certain how long I will stay.  Still mustering up the courage to walk into a gay bar to see what happens.  However, I am not a drinker or a smoker and chances are high that whomever I meet will be into one or both of those things.  Shame there isn’t a gay soda fountain, that would just be swell.  Yes there is sarcasm in there.  Enough crying in my beer.  It’s time to go check on my offender at work. 

Tomorrow is breakfast and the grocery store.  Not leaving for anything else, really don’t even want to go out but I need food, otherwise I would just try to subsist on what I have here.  Thought about going back to see Cracker Barrel Boy I am sure that he’s been missing me.  However, not so sure that I will be making it there.  Thinking about IHOP again and Strawberry Stuffed French Toast with some eggs and sausage.  Sounds really, really good.  Better pack an extra diabetes pill to keep my sugar in check. 

Hope your well & warm.  Talk again soon.

09 December 2016

Party Time

It’s been a crazy busy week.  Each day I had plans to post but the day got started, time got away from me and before you knew it I was back in traffic on my way home. 

Nothing really noteworthy happened, just your average week.  The weather here has turned blustery cold, so I have been taking full advantage of my heated options in my car.  They really do come in handy!

The kids are all doing well.  Aggravating me, making there usual messes and then looking all sweet and innocent.  Gator was really getting on my nerves last night, chirping every few minutes.  I warned her that if she didn’t knock it off, I was going to hurt her feelings.  She didn’t listen to me and I hurt her feelings.  I looked at her and let out a great big meow, which alarmed her and scared her away.  Then she sat pouting looking at me as if to say, you hurt my feelings.  I told her I said Dear I warned you but you didn’t listen.  Daddy can’t take that constant chirping, it’s annoying.  Daddy still loves you.  She waited about five minutes and then came back over like nothing ever happened.  Ah, the beauty of the cat mind – it forgets so quickly. 

Really wish they would pump up the heat here at work.  Normally I am sweating and have my fan going.  Yesterday the fan was turned off.  It’s normally 75 and it was 73.  The humidity is low and my feet were cold.  Once that happens, I can pretty well right the day off.  I made it through the day, shivering the whole way.  If things repeat themselves today I will likely bring in contraband.  That is a heater.  I am not going to freeze through the winter, that is nonsence.  Doesn’t matter how much trouble I get in.  I am first going to politely ask to have the heat turned up a degree or two and when that fails, as I know it will then I will bring in ye old heater. 

Saw a customized sweater yesterday, I want it but I don’t think I’d ever wear it.  It said I’ll be homo for the holidays.  Wouldn’t that just make people talk.  I know for sure I’d never wear it to work.  Speaking of which my day is about to start so I need to run. 

We get an early day today, 2:30 and then it’s holiday party time.  Stay for a little while, eat, drink, be myself and then quietly slip out the door and go home early.  Best Friday ever!

Have a great weekend and I will talk with you all again soon. 

06 December 2016

Chili Tonight

In checking my cabinet I found a can of Steak N Shake Chili that I am going to have tonight.  It doesn’t expire until late next year and I am glad I found it.  I also have some Queso so I’ll be having that as well with chips.  I’ve been thinking about this all day long and can’t wait to dive in.  It’s cold outside and after a long day at work I like an easy meal, this will be perfect. 

I have been tormented with Psychotic dreams.  Like last night I was with a foreign family, there was some war and then we got into a transporter machine.  So one minute I am in the USA and then I walk through this maze and find myself in another country.  Everything was fine until I got separated from the family and I kept going from place to place.  I couldn’t find anyone that spoke English.  Time went by quickly.  I remember managing to get to a phone and call my brother of all people.  So much time had passed that I was presumed dead. I remember calling and talking with him, I kept trying to think of a way to authenticate who I was.  He didn’t believe that it was me, he thought it was some kind of a joke.  I described in detail a funny situation that happened when we were growing up, he believed me then but I woke up with a Charlie Horse.  I went back to sleep and had an even more bizarre dream that I don’t remember.  I wonder if I should find a Psychiatrist and schedule an appointment?  Not sure what all of this means but these are terrifying dreams, once I am awake everything is fine and I am glad it was only a dream.  Something freaky is going on upstairs in the old noodle but I have no idea what it is. 

So the witch I work with is out for 2 days and will be out for 2 days next week.  The danger for me is that something urgent will crop up and I will have to take care of it.  Depending upon what that is I may or may not have enough training to complete the task.  She wants me to text her if there is a problem.  No way in hell that is going to happen.  Funny thing is she is all buddy, buddy now and acts like nothing ever happened between us.  I am professional and I am putting on an act as well but I keep my distance and try to keep all of our communications in written form.  I don’t trust her even a little bit.  I did some digging and found out from several other people that she has flipped out on them as well.  Seems like she gets really close to you and then she wigs and freaks out.  Very strange person and I am glad I am not her.  She is super smart.  I think that she needs to be on medicine and that she is bipolar.  Its either that or the lack of getting laid that has toasted her brain.  She could use a good romp and that might put a smile on her face.  I really wish that things wouldn’t have gone awry with us but they did, twice.  I can’t and won’t forget it, unless my memory is wiped.  I would like to soak up all of the knowledge she has to offer and then cut ties, but that won’t happen.  Were stuck in working together at least for the foreseeable future so I have to play along, otherwise I won’t be a team player and that will have a negative impact.  I just hate being so fake when I’d really like to be real but that would easily get me fired.  I know that I made my point and that she has offended me.  There has been no apology at all.  She hinted today that she will be sending Christmas cookies out.  Great the trash can at my desk is waiting for them.  I’m not putting them in my mouth for all I know she mixed up the skinny and sweat and put in rat poison because the boxes look the same except for the skeleton and cross bones on the rat poison. 

On my way to work this morning I noticed the navigation system somehow had North set incorrectly so it looked like I was traveling backwards and sideways at times.  Found the fix when I got to work.  I did exactly what I said and used the system to find a new way home last night.  In my mess of pressing buttons I probably touched something that I wasn’t supposed to.  Going to use the system again tonight and go the same way.  It shaved about 30 minutes of sitting and waiting so I got home at 6:30 instead of 7p, which is much better.  Being on call the quicker I can get home the better prepared I am.  Even though nothing usually comes in, when your tied up it’s like someone somewhere senses it and that is when a catastrophe occurs.  I try to avoid those as much as possible.  Had one last night.  I put in a request for a person to get a new access card.  It was delivered to him before I had the number.  I had to jump in the system and get the number added otherwise the new card would have been useless to him.  He actually damaged his old card and I think he should be charged but were kind and as long as you have the old card there is no charge.  Loose it or get it stolen and then your out some money.  Fees vary depending upon the type of badge and that is governed by location.  In my office the replacement is $25 and it comes directly out of your check, unless you can recover the old badge before the end of the month.  Funny thing is someone had their purse stolen over the weekend and their card was in there.  I feel bad for them because I feel like it wasn’t their fault.  Theft I think should be no charge but if you think about it everyone would say they were robbed in order to avoid paying a fee.  Those few are the ones who spoil it for the rest of us. 

Had some Bear time last night, he demanded it.  He is one heavy cat.  I think I could use him in place of weights and get quite the workout, not sure if he or his stomach would be up for that.  Sunday night he fell asleep with his head resting on my leg.  His sister came over for a back scratch and wouldn’t take no for an answer so I woke him up by moving.  I hated to do that.  I remember when I was nursing him back to health he would sleep on me and would just be so relaxed, you can very clearly tell there is total and complete trust on his part.  I am humbled and honored that I can bring that kind of comfort and ease to my big boy.  His mom acts similarly and she knows that I am her savior.  She is so thankful for that.  I am sure that she wishes those children of hers would leave but I think truth be told she gave up on that idea years ago.  Animals they sure are something!

Well about time to wrap up and head out for the day.  Time to get my chili.  I’ll have to set a reminder to change my voice mail in the morning.  Hi thanks for calling, I had chili last night I’ll be in and out all day, please leave a message.  That would be certain to get a reaction but I know better even though it would be funny, business has no room for any type of emotion because it’s just business, I can’t help that I have a personality. 

Stay warm, be safe and you know it, we will talk again soon.

05 December 2016

Made it to Monday

So here we are again off at the races.  Had a good night with the kids watching Shameless and then wrapping the place up for the night.  Morning came around too quickly as per usual.  It didn’t help that my sleeping medicine didn’t kick in until 11p but all things considered I am doing okay. 

Got going this morning with not too much effort and managed to leave early.  I knew that I would have to sit in traffic and even though I have a cushion in my commute I like to arrive at work early.  It all worked out just fine.  Much like the parking garage at work, traffic was a mess.  Giving some thought tonight or one night this week, to pointing my car in a different direction tonight and then asking the navigation system for direction to home.  Not sure if it will save me in commute time but it will make for an interesting ride home.  There are several different ways I can get home but the problem is that I only know a couple of them.  It pays to know your options, especially when traveling.  I think the best method for getting to and from work would be to fly by helicopter, but not sure that I will ever experience that in my lifetime. 

Speaking of work, one of my co-workers mentioned that she thought she was going to die today.  She got in one of the elevators and it started to go up and then abruptly fell, like there was no cable and no brakes.  It stopped for a moment and then fell all the way back down to the first floor.  Those things are supposed to have brakes on them so that if the cable snaps the brakes engage and your safe.  Apparently something went awry.  Now I know what elevator not to get on.  I suspect they will have it looked at or so I hope.  While you can’t necessarily pick your fate, I would like to not die in an elevator. 

Outside of the elevator issue, it’s a calm but busy day here.  As for me personally I am bored but I know that my boredom is only short lived.  Usually something crops up and there goes the day.  I am really shocked that it’s lunch time already.

Looking forward to going home and having the rest of the Chicken & Broccoli Pasta Bake.  It’s so good.  Right now I know I have a minor mess to clean up in the hallway, noticed it just as it was time to walk out the door.  Why do I bother to clean if it’s only going to get dirty again?  Cats I love them but they sure are a lot of work.  Unless there is something else that comes up, I plan on parking on the couch and finding something to occupy my time until it’s time to call it a night. 

20 more days until Christmas.  My psycho co-worker is trying to see if she can get a jump on who’s leaving so we can prepare instead of having to scramble at the last minute.  There is a huge opportunity for me to work overtime and why not make some additional money, it can’t hurt me. 

Now it’s time to work my way back to the fun and try to stay awake once the food coma tries to kick in.  I hope your having a decent Monday and that your staying warm.  Loving my seat warmers on a cold morning, they are truly a great convenience feature.  Take care and we will talk again soon.

04 December 2016

Holiday Themed

So I took time to change the theme to a Holiday or as I like to call it a Holigay!  It was an average Sunday for me.  Got to sleep in, woke up to rain.  Fed the children, got dressed and went to breakfast at IHOP.  Had French Toast.  I messed up my order so the first one was Strawberry French Toast.  Then I had to get what I actually came for which was Strawberry Stuffed French Toast.  That had Vanilla Crème with Cinnamon in it, very good.  Had a couple eggs and 2 sausage links, a drink and wound up with a bill that looked more like lunch instead of Breakfast.

Hit up the grocery store which I hate to start with it’s even worse when it’s raining.  I was determined not to spend $100 and well I made it but only by $2.  I was really shocked at the total as I am each time that it comes to pay for groceries.  I didn’t get anything special and it feels like I got robbed.  Missing my favorite cashers who have retired, they made it fun to shop and I always had someone to look forward to seeing.

Came home, put away the groceries and forged forward with Laundry.  Entered in my expenses in my records to keep the checkbooks straighter than I am and then played around looking for my favorite thing, porn. 

Went upstairs and relaxed with the children, got in a short nap.  Used an Armor All Leather Wipe on the drivers seat of my car and on the steering wheel, wow it did a super nice job.  I got a small package as an add on purchase from Amazon.  Not bad for $3 and they are guaranteed to stay moist in the container for up to 1 year.  I liked them so much I decided to tidy up my late guys leather jacket that I am wearing.  When it gets colder I will break mine out, it’s much heavier and each time I put it on it feels like he is hugging me, he bought it so it’s extra special for me.  Had it for years and plan to keep it forever. 

Had Stouffer’s Chicken & Broccoli Pasta Bake for supper.  There is 1/2 left for tomorrow night.  I also have a pizza in the freezer if I get hungry for that.  Otherwise there is plenty of soup, chili and chicken pot pies.  You know warm weather comfort food.  I almost forgot 5 cheese Mac & Cheese as well.  Yum!

Really wanted to upgrade my iPhone this weekend and got for the 7 however Mophie hasn’t yet come out with battery cases yet, so I am waiting for that.  Shouldn’t be much longer from their website it looks like they are in the end stages.  I really don’t want the increase in my bill but it’s doable considering my bill has been reduced and I still get a stipend from work so that will more than cover it.  Patience it’s just one thing I don’t have, which is exactly why I am not a doctor – well that and money for school.

Decided to get creative and just slobbered all over myself while looking at Mont Blanc Pens on the internet.  There are a couple new ones that I want, not sure if I will ever own them.  Some of those are a car and/or a house payment for a writing instrument.  If I had money just dripping off of me like sweat then I wouldn’t bat an eye but considering I am your average poor person, I just admire them from afar.  I have a small collection and use them on occasion, mostly I just sit and stare at them while they collect dust.  What I own cost me a pretty penny and while I’d love to take them out of the house it’s better that they stay at home, safe & sound.  If I lost one I would be sick.  They are not scheduled, meaning they are not covered under my homeowners policy.  I love fancy pens.  They rank right up there with good looking guys, porn and food, which includes pie and many other food items.  I know my vices and I suppose that is important information.

Time to climb the stairs and eat an ice cream cone while I take in the latest episode of Shameless.  I was supposed to be up there 20 minutes ago but you know one thing led to another and with all of the slobbering over pens, time just got away from me. 

Hope you had a great Sunday.  Back to the grind tomorrow and so starts another week and a week of on-call for me.  I hope that it’s a productive and fast moving week.  I am always anxious to get off call and of course you know I enjoy my weekends.  Going to our office holiday party on Friday, which means that I will be going home early that day after the party.  Also saying goodbye to a co-worker this week.  Can’t believe that 12 months has flown by so very fast.  Take care, stay warm and of course we will talk again soon.

03 December 2016

Gr8 Saturday

Friday night on my way home, my wonderful car decided to be temperamental and not connect my iPhone.  I had to check to make sure it didn’t fall off my hip.  Sure enough it was there.  I tried turning Bluetooth off on my phone and then back on, that old trick used to work on my last car.  No luck.  Tried forcing the car connection to ‘connect’ but that didn’t work either.  So I listened to Satellite Radio, I asked for traffic reports because I was stuck in traffic.  I got to hear all about LA Traffic and San Francisco Traffic but that didn’t help me as I am no where near either of those locations, they are West and I am in the Mid-West.  It’s a patience thing so I flipped over to AM and listened to a local talk show and then got to catch the local news, which was nice.  Normally on Friday there is no traffic but due to construction and the fact that people don’t know how to merge and they freak out, some waiting until the last possible second they not only impeded my commute home but they negatively affected my gas mileage, probably not by much.  However all of that inch worm start and stop isn’t good for the car and it’s sure not good for my patience. 

On my way home I decided and committed to treating myself.  I hit up Wendy’s, got to sit in line.  What better to do than do a master reset of the entire Bluetooth System.  Magically that brought my phone to life.  It’s suppose to forget your phone but not in my case.  I am starting to think that there is something wrong with Sync 3 in my car.  However, that little trick seemed to do it.  Someone had connected their phone and it was in the system, perhaps that caused issues.  As long as it works for me, when I need it and I can count on it as being reliable then I will be pleased.  Right now I am just taking the wait and see approach. Back on point, I made it to the speaker to order and got me a Baconater with no mayo and a Large Chili.  Damn that was tasty!  From the first to the last bite.  When I was done I wanted to go back out and get another burger but I figured that would probably kill me, so instead I sat down and had some Banana Split Ice Cream.  Yum a great but not healthy meal.

Afterwards, I spent time with Bear, he demanded to be in my lap.  Great now I have started something that will probably never end.  It’s okay I like spending time with him, he’s a good cat and even though he kills my back I don’t mind picking him up, so long as he lets me love on him and do my raspberry on his belly – it’s our thing.  I try to do something special with each one of them.  Ruth gets her scratches.  Marvin gets to sleep with me.  Insty loves to curl up around my feet or sit with me and watch TV.  They truly are the life of this house, I just sleep & eat here as well as pay the bills.  They are the benefactors and if you ask them the owners of this structure that we all call home.  How nice they allow me to live here, I am so fortunate. 

You probably started reading this because you were interested in Saturday and well here we go.  I woke up to the melody of Gator singing her finest sad song opera, entitled Wake Up You Bastard.  Fed them breakfast and fiddled with my phone.  Didn’t miss anything overnight and no urgent issues to deal with.  So I had breakfast at home, which is a change for me on the weekend.  Then went to the Hair Cut store.  Used a gift card I had and still had to pay $13, but I got a lot.  Thought once again about getting some color put in this head but talked myself out of it.  My hair is super short and it would be hell to maintain and probably a huge waste of money.  I just want my color of Red back instead the one that nature has chosen to give me.  It’s dull and when I was younger it was bright, I want that firecracker red that says don’t fuck with me, I’ve got a bad temper.  Maybe someday.  From there I went to the post office.  Got a strange envelope in the mail opened it and saw a check for a large amount of money.  It was my pension rollover, it was supposed to be sent to the financial institution where I opened a special account, so now I have to send it on my own.  It’s a large amount of money to trust to just a simple stamp but I am doing that.  I would just have a little bit more peace of mind if I paid for Certified Mail but I really don’t want to go through the hassle.  Besides that it’s a check and it’s not made payable to me, so it would be hard or so I would think for anyone else to cash it.  It goes in the mail on Monday, wish me luck.  I’ll know soon enough if it gets there or not.  I also got a rebate check that I was waiting for, so that’s mad money that I can spend as I see fit.  It will go to food at whatever restaurant I chose. 

After the post office it was cold out so I came home.  I forgot that I needed to hit up the vet’s office to grab medicine for the children.  I did that later in the day.  When I got home and got settled on the couch, I watched a movie and then took my usual nap.  Woke up, had some chips, passed out lunch for the children and finished the movie.  Then it was downstairs to commence laundry.  Officially time to break out the long sleeves in full force.  I’ll miss you until next year my short sleeve shirts. 

Decided to go out to treat myself further.  I love Monique and her latest movie Almost Christmas was on the top of my must see list.  So I found it and saw it.  The movie drew a lot of people.  There was a lot of laughs.  Some people cried but I was not one of them.  It’s a heart strings type comedy movie that has a sobering message that you should enjoy yourself while on this earth because you will be gone too quickly.  I was happy that I was able to see it, if you need a laugh and enjoy holiday comedy movies, then put this one on your list.  Afterwards, it was time to take in some supper.  I went to a favorite place that I used to frequent with a friend.  Had a super salad and got onion rings with it.  I drifted from my usual Chicken Quesada, don’t know if I will ever make that mistake again.  The onion rings were good but not as satisfying at the Quesada would have been.  My waiter was short, slightly hot and gave me crappy service.  He was slow to bring me a refill and slow to bring me the check.  Only asked me how things were shortly after the food arrived and otherwise didn’t bother me.  Finally paid the check, used the restroom and got out of there. 

Back on the road, knew that I would need gas and for the 1st time the low fuel light came on.  That scared me a little bit but I still had 50 miles to go.  My last car warned me at 20 miles and you blew through those pretty quick.  I hit up what was the bargain gas station but their bargain was no more.  Still I filled up, I could have waited and gotten a better price tomorrow but it’s one less thing that I have to do now.  Then off to Walgreens to buy my friends a card, the ones dealing with Stomach Cancer.  I went for a card for her but I saw a card about The Oak Tree and it just spoke to me and said this is the one and send it to both of them not just her.  Then finally home to get yelled at by the children because their supper was hours late. 

Resumed laundry, scheduled my first car payment, dealt with some other business and viola here we are.  It’s about to strike midnight in 15 minutes or so.  I know the kids want me upstairs and my body has informed me that I pushed it a little too far.  So while I don’t want to I am going to heed the warning and call it a night. 

Tomorrow just have to grab breakfast and hit up the grocery store.  Thankfully I have enough food for the children.  I am sure they think I forgot them but I haven’t and they will never go hungry as long as I am here.  I hope that my body is okay come tomorrow because we have a full week ahead of us and like it or not I have to go to work.  Plus it’s my turn at on-call again, looked up at the sky on Friday night and there was no full moon which is a good thing.  That seems to follow all of my on-calls maybe it’s just coincidence. 

Nothing spectacular but it was a great day for me and I am so blessed to be able to do what I want to and that I have made it this far.  I continue to be in awe of myself and my accomplishments.  Now if Santa can just drop off a list of naughty boys for Christmas, I will be more in the holiday spirit.  Seriously if I can just speed up my search for my Prince Charming that will go a long way to help me, or so I hope.  Being alone has it’s advantages but it really sucks when the holidays roll around. 

Have a good night and we will talk again soon.  Stay Warm!