Last Week at 45

Here we go my last week on the planet at age 45.  It’s been an interesting year to say the least, but filled with way too much stress and fighting.  My hopes for the next year are that I will find a soulmate and I won’t be alone.  That I will make more money and be a happier person overall.  Not terribly unreasonable things to hope for.  Now the fun part is turning those hopes into reality. 

Not exactly sure what I will be doing for my birthday but I am thinking of going for pie.  I got a coupon for a free slice which is enticing but it’s also a call to go buy some pie and have a nice leisurely drive.  I am also thinking about getting a hotel room and checking out the breakfast buffet.  I will do one or the other but not both.  I have time off coming so I only work 2 days the week after my birthday, not so bad.  Then I get 4 days in a row off. 

I learned last night that my buddy who lost his wife has been having some issues with getting winded and short of breath.  He had a stress test done and it sounds like he has some blockage.  He is scheduled for a cardiac cath. and as you can well imagine he is scared out of his mind.  There is a risk of stroke or heart attack with the procedure but the good news is that he will be in a hospital setting, so if he is going to have a stroke or heart attack that would be the best place to have it.  I get his fear, I mean I wouldn’t want to have any major medical thing done to me right now, considering that I am alone.  I think he will be just fine and that he probably needs a stent or two.  Heart disease runs in both sides of his family so it’s unlikely that the test results are a false positive but it does happen once in a blue moon.  His luck is like mine so if I was a betting man, I’d bet that he will need at least 1 stent.  Fingers crossed this goes well and will improve his quality of life.

Mr. Big Boy went over for his blood work on Saturday.  He was a big baby which is normal for him.  He’s lost weight down a pound.  He’s at 17 pounds right now.  It’s not a bad weight but we don’t want him to turn to skin and bones.  I can say he is much happier because he doesn’t need daddy to do any cleaning, he takes care of that on his own.  We love each other and it shows many times in the course of each day.  I truly treasure every second I have with him and all of them.  I know all to well that our time together is limited and that one day all I will have are memories and photos.  Not to sound depressing but it’s the reality of things. 

I have been pretty much a home body this weekend.  Lots of napping which was fun.  Sleeping tonight on the other hand well that will be another story.  I did hit up Cracker Barrel this morning for Breakfast and they have a new host.  Jesus he is so handsome and well built, got a great smile.  I think he might be a bit young for me but he did make my heart and other body parts go pitter patter.  Yesterday I went to Steak N Shake for Breakfast.  I had their new Prime Burger.  I didn’t care much for it or the much larger price.  Plus as per usual the cute cooks were off so I was stuck with no eye candy. 

I’ve been car shopping again.  I looked at an Orange Dodge Charger on-line.  There is a dealer that is so close to my house I could walk there.  The car is very nice and oddly affordable until you consider what would be left from my present loan and then I think were talking a different situation.  I can’t seem to find anything I like in Blue, which is really sad.  I’d love to test drive the Charger but sadly my surviving spouse discount would not apply, so I would pay full retail.  That’s not attractive to me.  I really want to show pride buy continuing to purchase American made cars but my heart is really set into a BMW, some day just not today.  Buying foreign makes me feel like I am turning my back on everything that my late husband/partner worked for.  He always told me you can buy foreign but you’ll have to park on the street.  He wasn’t kidding.  There are some nice looking cars in the world.  I see many of them in the garage at work, since I work in a high end uppity yuppie neighborhood.  That’s also why I carry higher limits of liability on my auto insurance because if you plow into one of those, your going to need every penny of your liability limits to fix it.  Especially if it’s more than just a simple fender bender and you actually smash into one of them or they smash into you but it’s still your fault.  In any event just like with a guy my heart knows what it wants and until I can get it I’ll just continue to look.  Eventually the time will be right.

My present car I have gotten used to it and had a great sense of confidence with it.  Then I am not sure if it was a clogged injector, a tire issue or a transmission issue.  I noticed that at lower speeds the car would start to jerk and buck but only from the passenger side at least that is where it felt like it was coming from.  The car only has 15 thousand miles on it.  I have had far too much trouble with it so I am looking to get rid of it as quickly as possible.  I’ve got warranty coverage and even extended warranty coverage but if the fucking thing falls apart while I am driving it, a warranty will be the least of my concerns.  I really like it but I still think I got a lemon.  I put in higher octane gas and haven’t been able to duplicate the issue since.  Next week I will be going back to normal gas and while I am off I plan on taking it in for service.  Who knows maybe that will also be a day that I trade vehicles.  Money is the only thing holding me back, if I can get a good deal along with my discount and I love what I am buying then it will be a huge WIN for me.  Otherwise, the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t. 

Purchased Barney Frank’s book ‘Frank” this month on Audible.  I really love audio books.  They come in handy at lunch time when I need an escape to get away.  By the time I am done with a book, it will be a week or two at best then my next selection is available.  Hillary has written a book but it’s not out yet, called What Went Wrong.  That sounds like an interesting read or should I say listen. 

On Facebook I have been seen an ad for Protalus foot inserts.  I finally looked into them a bit closer and made a purchase this evening.  I got something that I can move from shoe to shoe instead of being fixed to a specific pair of shoes.  I hope this helps my poor feet or should I say foot.  It’s my right foot that I have had so much trouble with.  I looked yesterday when I woke up and both of my feet looked like there was no blood circulating.  As I began to move they started to pink up and everything was normal.  I am checking each morning now to see how they look, so far it was a one time event.  I would think I am far too young to have a circulation problem but hey I am human so anything is possible. 

No John Oliver tonight or for a couple weeks, he’s taking a break.  I will be glad for Fall TV to start up, new shoes as well as old shows.  Fall and Winter are times to stay home and hunker down with good TV. 

I wanted to go see Beach Rats a gay themed movie but there isn’t a Theater within 100 miles that is showing it.  They did say it would be select theaters only.  My guess is not only is the subject matter controversial it likely is only appealing to a select audience so theaters thought it wouldn’t generate enough revenue.  I really want to see it.  I saw a preview last year and I was hooked from that moment on. 

On the work front I have been turned into acting like a boss in that I have to give feedback to my new co-worker to get him trained up.  He’s making our boss feel guilty by saying I sure wish I could contribute more, I want to be busy like everyone else.  Okay, but be careful what you wish for.  It feels odd for me to give feedback, because it’s all done in written form.  I look at it from his point of view and if a peer who is the Junior person was sending me the Senior person feedback I’d be fucking pissed.  However, he claims to be okay with it.  His grammar within the team is fine but when he is facing a user he turns to mush.  Everything comes out like it’s a fucking text message and that just seers me to no end.  It makes me think he truly is a dumb monkey.  I mean he looks like a monkey.  I know it’s prejudice but I can’t help but thinking that this guy wasn’t my bosses pick and he got cast upon us and now we have to deal with it. 

I have had some free time, like pretty much all day on Friday was boring.  I had a couple moments where there were things to do but the bulk of the day I just sat at my desk browsing my phone or playing with my laptop.  I miss those days but would like to find an equal balance where I have busy time and free time.  Tomorrow my schedule is wide open, which is odd for a Monday.  Tuesday is really full and there is a key meeting in there that I am looking forward to.  Things are about to get really fucking busy between an office move and 17 new people starting.  There is no question in my mind I will have to process the new people by myself and I’m fine with that just give me notice and names, I’ll get it done.  My boss thinks that the new guy will be able to split it with me.  Yeah, uh no were just starting the process and were working on departures, we are no where near looking at new hires, they are much more complicated and require way more work.  Let him master 1 task and then we can build from there.  It worked for me and it either will or won’t work for him. 

So there you go, your all up to date on my life.  Now I am going to eat some ice cream and spend the next couple hours with the cats.  Hopefully, I find something good to watch.  Here’s to having a great week ahead!

Last week sucked

I hope you enjoyed the Waze post.  Technology is awesome, but only when it works and provides you entertainment or an advantage.  Otherwise, it sucks. 

This past week was very trying, particularly Friday.  I had several new hires and departures just crop out of the wood work.  How does a person start on Monday but you don’t get around to telling anyone they work here until Friday?  I just don’t get how they would get email much less get around since they have no access card. 

There has been an effort to take some of my duties with new hires and departures away.  They have successfully farmed out two tasks.  They are working on a third.  I just feel as if they are going to pull the entire task away from me but doing it slowly over time.  I have expressed my displeasure but there really isn’t more I can do, unless I want to find a new job.  Which I really don’t I have the security and stability that I have been searching for, why would I want to give that up for a maybe? 

I am also training two people on different parts of this process and one is stone dumb, the other asks so many questions you can hardly keep up.  I really hope and pray that they both learn and pick up what I am putting down. 

On the home front, Big Boy has finally found his appetite and is eating like a horse.  I see he is starting to pack back on some pounds, at least it appears that way to me.  I love him but I don’t want him to get fat again.  He is enjoying his freedom of being thin with jumping up on the couch and the ability to be mobile around the house, he even stands up now to go to the bathroom, like a normal cat  I am so proud of him!  We took a nap together I put him in bed with me and laid down next to him.  It was a good time for both of us. 

Saturday I was in an awful mood.  I didn’t want to do a damn thing.  I got out to do what I had to but the bulk of the day was spent napping and watching TV.  I was just exhausted from all that I have done.  Friday was a very late night and I got home just in time to have to go back to work but from home.  By the time I ate supper it was 8p.  I treated myself to some Wendy’s and it was good.  Got the frosty for desert and was so glad I made that move. 

Not much else happening right now.  I am preparing for Monday.  The eclipse is going to be very prevalent in my neck of the woods.  They are telling people not to go to work and plan on staying home and indoors.  Fuck that I am going to work, it’s just another day.  There are supposed to be millions of people trying to watch the damn thing.  Great, have fun but when it’s time for me to travel get out of the fucking way.  Allegedly I am supposed to not be able to get home.  Right nothing a little rain can’t fix!  They are acting like it’s going to be the end of the world or a massive snow storm.  It’s just another day, it’s special because the sun gets blotted out.  I saw a great post on social media, hey God give us a sign if we should impeach our president.  I don’t know how about blotting out the sun if it’s a good idea!  Way too funny. 

Here’s to a great week ahead and hoping that I survive the eclipse. 

Waze

Greetings and thanks for stopping by.  This week I decided to use Waze, the app on my iPhone.  Wow it is so much better than Sirius Real Time Traffic that is built into my car.  If you so choose you can register and report things like police ahead, accidents, hazards, etc.  You can add Facebook and other social media so that you and your friends can see what time you will arrive.  You have an option to send your location to people.  It’s just a really slick and nice app.  It does use cellular data but much to my surprise not a lot.  There is an option to show the speedometer and have it alert you with a chirp when your at or over the limit.  It chirps a lot for me, I have it set to 5 miles over.  I am all about moving when I am on the road, that’s no surprise if you know me. 

I bought a vent magnet phone holder and use it to watch the screen.  My phone came loose on the first day but not since then.  You can use the app vertical or horizontal and even choose your cars avatar.  The down side is if you confuse the app it barks at you telling you to turn left, turn left now. 

I ran a side by side comparison with Sirius and Waze when I was commuting home on Tuesday and it was pouring rain outside.  The entrance to the interstate/freeway that I use was blocked off.  Both re-routed me.  Sirius has a more accurate estimated time of arrival and their maps have much more intricate detail.  Waze isn’t bad for a free app and many people love it. 

Friday I decided to open the app but not tell it where I was going.  I wanted to see if it would give me the same warnings like hazard ahead.  Nope I had to enable a route for that to happen.  I did it with great timing because there were a couple of hazards ahead and I got my notification.  So I am using this going to and from work at least for the time being. 

The only downside is that since it’s using a lot of processing power, your battery is taxed heavily and it will drain it fast.  So either have a battery case or plug your phone in while your using the app.  I wish that I could project or switch the image on my phone to my car display, that would be cool and easier to look at.  Although I don’t pay much attention to the displays I do glance at them while driving.  I am more about the audio prompts and I can listen to my iTunes with no problem.  If your listening to an audio book it will pause the book to provide a prompt and if you don’t like that you can turn off the feature.  I haven’t tried running Pandora with Waze but that will be an interesting test.   

So I am a ‘wazer’ now.  Yahoo!

Satisfying Sunday

I was a very busy boy today.  Waking up around 7:45a and trying to go back to sleep but decided to get up and get moving.  Fed the children, got dressed and headed to Cracker Barrel for a great breakfast.  I had Momma’s Blueberry Pancake Breakfast with an extra egg scrambled, Colby cheese in the eggs, Sausage, a side of Hash brown Casserole and washed it all down with two Diet Dr. Pepper’s.  Delicious!  Not cheap but good. 

Next stop was the grocery store where I breezed through the store at my usual fast pace.  I am not a shopping kind of guy per se I like to get what I need and get out.  I have better things to do with my time than camp out at a store.  The lady running the register always has computer questions for me, she thinks I am just the smartest thing ever.  She got to talking to me and forgot to ring up 1 of the 3 12 packs of soda I got, then on top of that I had a digital coupon I forgot about (thankfully it was applied automatically as soon as I entered my phone number) that saved me $15.  I was really surprised when I saw the total it was far less than I expected.  I wasn’t going to argue, I paid and we kept on chatting.  Her issue was with Cable Internet.  From as best as I can tell sounds like she needs to have a new drop run, hers has surfaced in her yard and probably has been slightly damaged by the lawn mower.  She had a technician out but he couldn’t find anything wrong.  Sometimes they don’t send the brightest people out or the person they send out isn’t that focused on customer service. 

I came home and unloaded the groceries.  Started the dishes, got laundry started and then worked on cleaning the car.  It’s all nice and shiny now inside and out.  I drove it through the car wash and just figured out that the drivers side window has a leak.  Lord have mercy me and this car are going to be the death of each other.  I just started to appreciate it’s beauty, stylishness and really fall in love.  Then a problem crops up.  It’s nothing major just aggravating. 

Next stop was the hair cut store.  They were allegedly slammed because back to school is Tuesday.  Yeah there was me and one other person in the store for customers.  They were turning walk-ins away and even people who checked in on the mobile app.  I just checked in and showed up, they know better than to fuck with me.  I had a great experience as usual.  They are like family to me and even though it’s a chain, the people there appear to be genuine and care about everyone, which is what keeps on bringing me back.

By now I am home for the day.  No naps were had, but I did some relaxing.  Spent time with the kids.  Big Boy kneaded my arm and hand, he is such a love bug.  I lit two candles knowing full well they would aggravate my allergies, but I enjoy the smell.  Got the bathtub cleaned, cleaned the house, cleaned myself and cleaned all of my clothes.  So were all set for another week of fun, yippie. 

Supper was Thanksgiving … Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy and Stuffing.  It was Marie Calendar’s and sold as a Meal for Two.  Yes, there was enough for two and I will be having the rest of it tomorrow night along with what is left from the 3 week old chocolate cake that I have eaten.  This was awesome for a TV Dinner.  I thought as I was eating if you threw in some green beans and corn that would be good.  Then make a couple rolls and presto the only thing missing would be the Pumpkin Pie. 

I have discovered some music that I never knew existed.  In Pandora I type in the station Ray Stevens.  He is a well known comedian who is also a singer and writes funny songs.  Well that brought up some other interesting Tunes and there is some standup comedy mixed in.  Things mostly have a Country Flair but it’s really good.

No posts on social media from my crush.  I had a great idea to send him a Starbucks Gift Card but when I looked at the grocery store they only had one denomination and that as $50.  I was thinking $10 or $20 at most.  I mean just in case it didn’t grab his attention or he just said thanks and moved on.  I wouldn’t want to feel like I was out a bunch of money.  So I guess I will admire from a far even though my emotions are telling me to go for it.  That could back fire so better safe than sorry, at least for the moment.

I have Amazoned again.  Big Boy needed some pee pads.  He is still using them even though he is capable of using the litter box, he likes the setup I have for him and well as long as he’s going I won’t complain.  I got some leather wipes for the car and my jacket which I will be breaking out sooner than I want.  Picked up a privacy roller stamp, looks like a good idea and will save my shredder.  Then I got a vent mount magnet to hold my cell phone, thinking of using the Waze Traffic App.  Finally some Mucinex for my allergies.  The money just flew out and I used my reward point from my credit card so that took off a whopping $10. 

Looking forward to hearing Mr. John Oliver tonight, spending some time with my kids, hopefully watching some quality porn and having a good nights sleep.  I’ll be on-call next week plus there is the fact I am training Heckle & Jeckle, let’s just hope I don’t lose any sanity this week. 

I downloaded a couple dating apps again.  1 didn’t work so it got deleted.  The other one I invested time in and knew that a subscription would be required.  I wasn’t prepared to shell out $50 for 1 month.  Fuck that.  It went by the way side as well.  Dating apps and I have a love/hate relationship.  A friend of mine remarked the other day that everyone is looking for someone, but there is absolutely no one to find.  I explained that the hookup or hit it and quit it was the by far most popular thing going on today.  While we all can’t be like Brian Kinney (from Queer As Folk) the thought it very tempting.  Seriously it doesn’t matter if your gay or straight, the number of people that I think want to settle down into a relationship is a very small number which is why I am still ‘on the market’.  Here’s hoping a buyer comes my way very soon!

That’s all I got folks.  Hope your Sunday was enjoyable and that you were able to spend it with those that you care and love.  My next dilemma is figuring out what book I want to listen to next on Audible.  If you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments. 

Goodbye ?

It is scary to think about what is going on between the US and N. Korea.  It’s even scarier to think that this could be my last post because one decided to show the other and they both pushed “the button”.  I hope that it doesn’t come to that and that this will pass without any ramifications for us the innocent people.  The world has been a scary place for a long time but this just ups the ante.

Now on to my regular themed post.  I finished up Binge the book by Tyler Oakley.  It was really good and he kept me entertained the whole way.  I learned a few things along the way and apparently the boy has had his fair share of dick and wasn’t shy talking about it at all, which was kind of a surprise since you never know who is going to read what you publish.  Then again it’s an awesome feeling to be unapologetically you.

I was able to sleep in a little bit today and I also got in a nap which was nice.  I still don’t feel like I am recharged enough, good thing I will be headed to bed again soon. 

Today’s accomplishments were that I was able to compose and mail a few letters for personal issues, mailed a birthday card to a friend and went out to eat.  I had Peppered Turkey, it was sliced and then a custom made BBQ sauce was put on top.  Served with my choice of two sides and I chose Tatter Tots and Mac & Cheese.  Washed all that down with a Diet Dr. Pepper and it was one of the best meals I have consumed in a long time.  I wish I could eat that good every day of the week and at every meal.  My waiter was super nice and very attentive, it was an all around pleasurable experience.  I fueled up the car, picked up a few cans of cat food and made a run through Target.  I was a little disappointed here I was looking for a cheap on-sale torch floor light and they didn’t have anything that was cheap but they did have torch lights.  I found something more in my price range on Amazon, not a shock to me.  I spent plenty of time with the children and gave them all a fresh large dose of TLC.  That is everyone but Ruth, she was in a foul mood and didn’t want to be touched. 

Last night I watched a movie called Balls Out it was on Epix which is running a preview this weekend for Uverse Customers.  I love that network, they have some awesome movies but it’s $8 a month and I don’t know that I would or could ever get my monies worth.  I’ve got Netflix, Amazon, HBO & Showtime.  It’s not like I need to add anymore to my movie choice line up.  I also started watching George Lopez’s recent addition to HBO called The Wall.  It’s really good, I just wish I knew Spanish because then I am sure it would be extra funny. 

On the work front I found out that I have to train my co-worker who loves to chat and go on tangents on the card key system since he has officially been dubbed my back up.  I am also training the new guy on the Departure process and we will eventually move into card keys.  It’s not going to be a fun ride.  One of our larger offices is set to move in a very short time and no one has bothered to think about the card key system, I brought that up and oh my we are in a frenzy now.  Fuck I have no idea how to build out one of these systems.  This will likely be a real shit show, but it’s not my fault. 

Tomorrow’s agenda includes laundry, grocery shopping, eating breakfast out, probably a nap and spending time with the children.  I will hopefully be able to finish the day by taking in the latest episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.  I always look forward to his review on the weeks events, he is super funny and has really managed to make me laugh a lot. 

Tuesday is Pay Day so I will be paying bills on Monday night, I can’t wait to see how much money I have left over.  This is the check that will have 14 hours of overtime on it and it should be really nice!  I’ve got car insurance coming up and my mortgage will true up so the payment will likely increase.  That along with a vet visit later this month for Big Boy to get his blood checked again.  I will make it but the bigger question is how much will I actually be able to hold on to and save.  I did pay off a credit card and that did wonders for my credit score. 

Speaking of credit cards, I heard back about my annual fee issue and they waived it on the one open account I have.  They wouldn’t re-open the other account, closed means closed forever.  Okay, that seems like a reasonable solution, especially since that card has a $0 balance.  I didn’t get an apology but I did manage to get out of paying an annual fee which was the whole objective.  I didn’t want to have to close my account and maybe I did that out of haste without protesting enough but I added it up and I have more than enough credit extended to me and thankfully I don’t owe much.  I am still able to pay cash for all of my weekend and daily spending, which is very refreshing. 

So there you have it, another exciting post from me.  Now I am headed up stairs to put out my medicine for the week ahead, put the comforter on the bed and then go to bed.  Tomorrow will be here very soon. 

I hope all is well in your world.  Have a great week ahead.  Take care!

Depression

Earlier this week we lost a Country Legend.  I’m of course talking about Glen Campbell.  He was one of my late grandmother’s favorites.  There were a few songs of his that I like.  I watched some YouTube videos of his and also a news source video.  One of his last written songs talks about not missing you, it’s because his memory was going and he would have no recollection.  He wrote it mainly for his wife to express his love. 

Alzheimer’s has taken many of people, one of them being a relative of mine.  It’s sad because the body is fine but the mind turns to liquid shit with time.  We all struggle with memory issues from time to time but Alzheimer’s is obviously way more serious.  My bosses father has it and he is close to the end. 

Thinking about this combined with missing my late grandmother and more recently my late partner.  I am depressed.  All I want to do is cry but I can’t.  It’s just exposure to an old wound that is pretty deep.  More of my focus is on the fact that I am alone and don’t have anyone.  Finding someone is a struggle.  I want to be someone’s focus.

This too shall pass, but it really sucks.  I was telling the kids last night about how I am surprised that I made it through the circumstances that faced me and that I came out winning in the end.  No one thought things would go so well but I got victory more than once.  I am not saying it was luck, it was the result of not giving up and walking away.  I could have lost it all even by moving forward but I had to see it through.  I am just in awe of myself and just can’t believe that phase and fight is done.  I am certainly ready for happier times and I think I deserve and am entitled to them but the world probably disagrees with me. 

Work is kind of depressing because my friend got fired, other people have moved, I found out that one person was pretending to be my friend and that hurt, but I never confronted them.  It’s just easier to walk away.  It’s like I am all alone again.  There are people here that I can still talk with but I can’t open up much and be authentic which kind of sucks. 

I’ve been thinking about the Twinkie that I have a crush on.  I’ve got a new idea on how to get his attention but of course there is risk involved.  I am probably better from admiring from a far but I really don’t want to do that.  I want to be friends but at the end of the day I want him to be mine and I know that in all likelihood it won’t happen.  I am trying very hard not to let my emotions rule me and use a common sense approach but that’s not working out so well.

Right now I feel okay.  I am looking forward to going home being with the kids and chatting with a former co-worker to catch up.  If things don’t play out that way then I will adapt to whatever comes my way.  I have to get the trash out and prepare to come back for one more day.  Looking forward to the weekend.  I have plans to go back to a restaurant where I asked a waiter out, just want to see if maybe he came back.  He said yes to my request, took my number and never called.  I also have a letter to write to continue to do battle over ethics of my former attorney and my car debacle.  Even though I got what I wanted it’s way too convenient that they found the documents after the regulatory agency closed their file.  This smells too much like bullshit so I have to fight it.  I’ve been waiting and sitting still which is difficult but enough time has passed that it’s clear everyone wants to look the other way.  Well not me.  I am not one to be trifled with and so many people learn that lesson the hard way. I may not win but I will give you a good run for your money and I will try my best to win.

That’s all I got, it’s close to quitting time and this is the calmest it’s been in weeks.  I have work to do but it will be there tomorrow and I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet while I make an attempt to regain what sanity I have left.  Serenity now! 

That time again

Yes, welcome once again to Monday.  Friday it was a million miles away but those miles travel quickly over the course of two days.  It’s been a busy day thus far but things are falling into place and I am actually able to accomplish something and feel as if I am making progress.  It’s a great feeling and I hope that it continues. 

So I learned along with the rest of the world that over the weekend, Aaron Carter came out as BI.  I can relate to the pressure and tension that having secret that your afraid to share with the world.  It is liberating when your able to tell the world who you are.  He’s an attractive guy and I liked him growing up, I’ve got some of his music and listen to it from time to time. His brother Nick was cute as well, even if he is straight. 

I made what I consider to be the mother of all discoveries when browsing a porn news website.  They had footage of what purported to be Charlie Puth’s penis in all of it’s glory.  Now you don’t see his face so who’s to say it’s really him.  Apparently it came out [no pun intended] back in January.  There is also an alleged video that purports one of the men is Charlie and he’s taking it up the rear.  I watched the clip as it is posted on-line.  I think maybe it’s him but it’s quite possible it could be a look alike.  I’d be thrilled if he came out, provided he was actually gay, which I don’t believe is the case.  Nothing changes the fact that he has a great voice and that he looks good.  I was just surprised that anything like that would ever mention his name.  He’s posted ass shots before an wow he’s got a nice one so part of me says why are you so shocked? Good question.

Speaking of cute young guys, I still have my mind focused on the hottie at work.  I just can’t seem to shake it.  He went on a trip to see some friends over the weekend and posted all about it on social media.  It was interesting to watch.  I really want to make another move but there is the thought of getting shot down or dismissed along with the fact that this could open the flood gates at work and I don’t know that I am ready for that. 

I did friend the lady that I used to work with.  She had sent me a request a couple years back and I declined but I explained why I was declining.  Last night I thought the hell with it.  I will just limit what she can see, not that I have anything to hide from her but she is friends with a lot of people that I still work with.  I don’t want them to know my business let alone my sexuality.  So it hit me this morning after she approved my request, I started looking for co-workers and blocking them.  I know there is no way I got everyone but I think I got the majority.  I mean if you figure it out great for you, I just don’t really want to come out at work.  I doubt anyone has the balls to approach me and directly ask me.  I mean why would you?  My sexuality gay, straight, bi or whatever doesn’t change the person that I am, it’s only one tiny part of who I am.  There is so much more to me and to others besides sexuality. 

Feels good to blog at lunch.  I switched up my lunch a little bit and also started buying Okio’s Greek Yogurt.  The Triple 0 is awesome and what I have the most of.  I had Vanilla Toasted Coconut in the regular version and it was awesome.  I am tired of eating the same damn thing so I am switching things up.  This applies to all meals but mostly breakfast and lunch.  I had Apple and Cranberry Oatmeal.  I am not a fan of the Cranberry but I figured it couldn’t hurt me.  Taste is okay, not the worst thing in the world and not the best thing either.  I miss those home cooked meals I used to get and not having to constantly deicide what I want to eat.  Decisions of any kind are annoying to me but it’s decisions about food that really eat at me [no pun intended]. 

My nap yesterday worked against me.  I got hot last night and woke up at 1a.  I was not happy.  I got rid of all of the children in my room which didn’t go over well but they were squirming and making noise, so out you go.  Then I tried to go back to sleep but it was useless.  I turned on the ceiling fan and got the AC fired up, I watched an old Lewis Black stand up act and eventually was able to fall asleep.  It wasn’t the good kind of sleep that I had yesterday morning but it was sleep.  I managed to wake up before the alarm clock sounded [as per usual] and got moving.  It was like nothing was wrong, I felt fine.  Well now that it’s after lunch I am ready for that nap again.  It will be hard to concentrate and stay focused but hopefully this passes soon.  I hate feeling sleepy unless it’s just before bed, then it’s fine.  Here’s hoping I sleep well tonight. 

Time to get back to the fun.  I am working on a dreaded monthly report and I hate every minute of it.  Might as well do as much as I can now.  My goal [self set] is to have it published by the 15th of the month, but it depends and relies on efforts from others to make that happen.  We shall see how it all goes. 

Happy Monday!  Here’s to a good week for all of us.  Take care. 

The Internet has the Fix

Chances are if you have a problem, there is a solution available on-line.  Of course it depends upon the problem as to whether or not it is practical to seek advice from the internet.  One of my problems is with my glasses.  They just keep slipping no matter how many adjustments I make and even getting a new pair I thought would help but sadly it didn’t.  There were a few fixes and if your female you can get away with using somethings that guys just can’t.  The two solutions I found were #1 buy a product called Nerd Wax.  It was invented by a guy who’s glasses kept slipping.  Kind of an interesting story.  It’s an all natural solution but it requires applying a coating to your glasses each and every day, there is maintenance with removing the old wax.  It just seemed so not what I was looking for simple.  #2 was use shrink wrap.  Now this was simple and what I was looking for.  You can get this stuff at a hardware store.  Thankfully for me I have a toolbox full of it due to my late partner.  You cut it to length and then apply, hit it with a heat gun and presto it shrinks before your eyes.  You just need to cover the part of your glasses that fits behind your ears.  I tried it and it really helps, however it’s not fool proof and my glasses have slipped a little bit.  It has helped and now thanks to this solution I have two pairs of glasses that I can wear.  Kind of nice.  If neither of these sounds appealing to you, there are gadgets sold on Amazon that you can buy that fit on the arms of your glasses to prevent them from slipping, which is my next temptation.

I am absolutely exhausted and all I really want to do is sleep.  I slept in, had breakfast out and did a few chores.  Then I passed out again for a couple hours.  Working for a living is hard, it’s worse as you age and when your juggling multiple tasks that require complete concentration.  It’s the concentration part that is exhausting and what zaps my energy quickly.  So I have 2 days to rest up and then I am back at it again.  What fun.  More bullshit meetings, more problems and of course more work.  Retirement sounds really nice, but considering my age I’ve got many more years of work to endure.  I still like my job but I am growing fonder of a vacation and by that I mean a complete disconnect from work where I worry about me and my world and not what is going on in the office.  Going away to a tropical destination sounds nice, hell going to the mall instead of going to work sounds nice too.

Had dinner out tonight with my friend.  Pretty good meal and I ate way more than I planned on.  I ordered a salad to fill me up so that I wouldn’t order desert but they had an equivalent to peach cobbler and I couldn’t pass it up.  Food and Guys are my week nesses. 

I saw a posting today that said, I am done with dating sites.  I am going after Pizza Delivery Guys because they have a job, they have a car and they have pizza.  Right but usually their cars are crappy because most of them are fresh into the job market.  Some are hot and some are not.  The pizza part well that doesn’t sound half bad.  I bet their cars smell like a slice of heaven. 

I am still watching from social media my cute, hot, gay co-worker that I have a crush on out living his life and having fun.  The next big move will be to friend him on Facebook but I am not sure if I want to go down that path.  I want him to know who I am and I want to be friends with him, hell I have no qualm's about telling him that I have a crush on him.  I’d just like him in my life.  I guess I am way too desperate.  The best advice I have been given is to get out and mingle, I don’t mind doing that but I would rather not do it alone.  Going to gay bars doesn’t appeal to me but it might yield better results than I have encountered thus far. 

Tonight I went in and looked at Crate & Barrel.  My friend wanted new place mats.  I couldn’t believe all of the stuff they had and of course I could take the store home with me but where would I put all of those things.  It’s an expensive place to shop and now I see why a lot of people really like it.  We just looked and neither one of us bought a damn thing. 

Time to climb the stairs, deal with the kids, put out my medicine and watch TV until I pass out.  I have to make a trip to the cat food store tomorrow, since I didn’t get there today.  Plus I have to get human food so it will be a slightly expensive day, glad I am fortunate enough tot have the cash to pay for it.  Speaking of which I did rob my savings account and I paid off a credit card in full, which feels awesome.  I don’t like the lower balance in my savings account but a promotional 0% rate was about to expire and there was no need to put off the inevitable. 

Finally, I finished up Elizabeth Warren’s audio book it was really good.  I have moved on to Binge by Tyler Oakley.  It’s very interesting thus far.  I save it to listen to during lunch while I am at work.  It’s something to look forward to since most of the Vloggers on You Tube have dried up.  I would much rather watch a video, it’s more enjoyable. 

Take care and we’ll talk again soon. 

No more Mr. Nice Guy

Good Day Ladies & Gentlemen … I hope all is well in your world, the temperatures are at an acceptable level and that the sun is shining brightly.  It’s been a long week and thankfully after today it will all come to a much needed close.  I am so ready for the weekend.  I need sleep and just like money & orgasms I can’t seem to get enough. 

The biggest even thus far of the week is when I some how stupidly decided to go against my own rule and help a motorist.  Looking back now things could have gone all kinds of wrong and hell it’s quite possible I could be dead.  However, nothing happened so quick sigh of relief.  I was motoring to work and I saw on the opposite side of the freeway a motorist who had crashed into the cable barrier.  I didn’t witness an accident I saw the result of what happened.  I sprung into action without a thought and flipped my car around by getting off at the next exit.  I came upon the scene and there was a disheveled woman who had to be in her 30’s looking much like a hooker.  I stopped next to her car and she was walking away from me, she turned around and saw me and we started a conversation.  She asked for a ride and I unwittingly agreed.  She was in my car before I knew what happened.  She tried to get me to take her some place far away but I told her I was on my way to work and that was no where in the direction she was headed.  I said I can take you to the nearest gas station and that’s it.  I told her I was running behind and I was by a couple minutes but if things went quickly I knew it wouldn’t cause a problem.  Were pulling away and I happened to look up and I saw the police had made it to the scene.  I told her and she said you need to keep on going.  Then she said she had warrants and she couldn’t be anywhere near that car.  I responded are you shitting me?  Nope she was straight up for real.  I told her the next stop for you is the gas station and then your out.  She called a friend to come pick her up and had to do some pleading.  When she exited the car she asked if I was going to call the cops.  I told her no I will not call the cops. 

I kept my word to her and didn’t call but I go back to the scene of the accident and talk with them.  Turns out they saw me leaving and they wanted to talk with me.  I explained what happened and rather than thanking me they admonished me for helping her leave the scene of an accident.  Huh?  I told them the only thing that brought me back was the fact she disclosed she had warrants and I didn’t want to be mixed up with that.  I was asked to never do this again and trust me I will not.  New policy no helping anyone unless I know them and even then I will be cautious.  The police said that I committed at least 1 if not 2 felonies.  Yeah okay go pour on the drama to try to scare me.  It worked slightly. 

I thought I was helping someone escape from being hit by a car, I mean walking on the freeway that is a dangerous feat.  You could end up part of the pavement in no time.  So I was in fear of her safety and was doing a favor.  I figured she would make arrangements to deal with what happened once she was safe.  Once she told me she was on the run from the law, that changed my opinion but by then it was too late. 

As if my story would change the police asked me 3 times to describe her and 3 times where I took her.  As if I was going to lie to them.  I understand that people lie to the police all the time.  People lie to me in my job all the time and I am circumspect at best most of the time but I don’t ask people the same question 3 times.  They told me I could go and once I got that, I stopped talking and started moving.  I didn’t want them to change their mind. 

As an after thought I told my story to a couple attorneys and they said that it would have been a bullshit arrest, they could have made my life uncomfortable but there is no way I would have ever been convicted.  Yeah if they chose to make my life uncomfortable I suspect that everything would have spiraled out of control.  Thankfully nothing came of it. 

I still wonder if they got her, I suspect they did but in all fairness I told them she had a ride on the way so they might want to speed up their action.  I wonder what she was wanted for.  I wonder if she was drunk or high and that is what caused this 1 vehicle accident.  I have a lot of questions but I know there is no point on lamenting on this as it will serve no purpose and drive me nuts. 

Speaking of nuts, I have not heard from the cute guy at work and I suspect he won’t bother to take me up on my offer to talk.  I really wish I was closer in proximity to him I think there is at least a good chance we could be friends.  I think of him all the time and of course am still following him on social media.  I love to see his posts, they help make up for the stress of life. 

The vet emailed with Momma’s blood results.  All is well but they did get a wonky reading on her potassium and her blood sugar.  They are offering to retest for free but I really don’t want to take her back, mostly because of fear that they will find something and that will either cost more money or cause me to make a choice.  She is happy and acting her normal goofy self, so why upset the apple cart? 

My friend called last night and wanted to carry on a conversation for hours, I was in no mood and cut things short.  Were getting together for dinner over the weekend.  Why call me now and talk for hours so that when we meet in person we won’t have anything to talk about.  It’s easier to cut to the chase and ask me if I want to get together and we can go from there.  He is a bit on the strange side but I like him and he is special to me.  It’s been a long standing friendship that built from us being co-workers, so it’s something I am quite proud of.

On to work I mean I need to get going so that I can start my day.  It’s crazy busy here.  Now it’s also time to start training the new guy and he is apparently allergic to overtime, because he doesn’t get paid for it.  Which is not my fault.  I really have my doubts about this guy and if he will cut the mustard.  He can’t write an email to save his own life.  He didn’t know what an RDP session was or how to establish one, yet he is supposed to have years of experience from Sprint.  Uh they must let them use coloring books and crayons all day because he clearly doesn’t know how to pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.  I have to work with him, so there is no choice in the matter but I suspect he will either make it or break it soon enough.  I just don’t want to waist my time it’s far too valuable. 

Here’s to a great day ahead.  Talk with you peeps again soon.  Until then, be well.