It’s almost the weekend

So my last week of freedom is coming to a close.  I still have today plus the weekend and then on Monday morning on call I go.  Not looking forward to that but I will survive.  I was thinking on the way in that it’s not so bad since we do go on at night until 11p which takes care of most of the calls.  The weekend is the hellish time but this will be a holiday weekend so I have no idea what to expect.  I just hope that it’s smooth and uneventful. 

Last nights mail brought me the last bill that needed to be paid.  I was able to pay all of my current bills last night.  I was a little concerned about it because on line banking has been broken for a couple days.  I had a work around just in case but glad I didn’t have to use it. 

I had a Chicken Pot Pie last night which was pretty good.  Not sure what I would like to have tonight.  I’ve thought about going out and I’ve also thought about staying in.  I am low on cat food so I need to either go tonight or tomorrow for sure.  The cabinet hasn’t been this empty in a very long time.  I also have to change the filter on the water and this is the first time that the reserve tank is full so I have a feeling it’s going to be a messy change but thankfully it’s only water.

All week long I have found myself sitting in front of the TV and before I know it I am passed out.  I wake up only to go to bed  Last night I fought back and stayed up longer.  I still woke up in the middle of the night.  Marvin wanted out of my room.  Outside of that it was nice.  I am hoping for some quality sleeping and napping over the weekend.  I have to get up early tomorrow morning to go see the dentist.  That is always fun.  I get to feel boobs on my head, which is a very nice feeling. 

Speaking of the dentist.  A lot of people brush before they go in.  Not me I figure that is doing the dentist job for them.  They are there to clean my teeth and well brushing is cleaning, but on a different level.  It won’t make any difference if there is food in my teeth – it still has to come out.  Lots of people think that is gross but I feel as if you brush you are trying to hide something.  They see lots of mouths on a daily basis, what is one more.  Outside of the boob treatment I also really like the flossing and often ask for a 2nd floss. 

The bigger question is what am I going to do after the dentist.  That really depends upon which way the wind is blowing tomorrow and how I feel.  Nothing special planned, outside of the usual weekend activities. 

All of the children are doing well.  They still take turns at the back door.  When I left this morning I saw a squirrel, so I wonder if maybe if they have seen him as well.  I still really feel that they are looking for LB.  I miss him too and wish he would come back but that is not an option.  So we shuffle on and remember the good times we had together.  It’s kind of the same thing with a human but you have to get rid of belongings and go through legal procedures to close out their life.  An animal is really simple in the grand scheme of things.  Perhaps that is why the hurt lasts a  little less. 

So I hear about the Amtrack train crash that the conductor/engineer is gay.  So some people are saying that is why the train crashed.  I am not sure why people have such narrow minded thoughts.  The train crashed for a reason and it has nothing to do with if it was a man or a woman if they were black, white, purple  - gay or straight.  From what I have heard speed appears to be the biggest factor.  Anyone who drives or pilots any form of transportation can speed that isn’t limited by age, gender or religious beliefs.   It is a sad event that took place and sounds like it was totally avoidable, but that is based on speculation and not fact.  The only thing that I can say with absolute certainty is that the driver being gay didn’t cause the crash.

That’s all I know for the moment.  I hope that you have a great weekend and enjoy the time away from work.  Go do something fun like napping, traveling, eat some food or go for a walk.  I will be busy at it but based on how I feel right now I don’t have a lot of energy.  Let’s hope that changes.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later. 

Anger

Last night I got a letter from the vet about LB saying that his remains were ready for pick up.  They composed the letter on the 7th, I was there on the 8th but they waited until the 11th to mail the letter.  While I have him because of my diligent effort I am very pissed about the delay. But for my actions his remains would still be sitting there.  I don’t understand why they can’t pick up the phone and press 7 digits it’s not that hard, plus chances are really great that when they called I wouldn’t have been home, so they would have just needed to leave a message.  I have written a letter but it needs to be toned down before I send it.  I am on the fence about if I should or shouldn’t.  I have a great amount of anger at that place, mostly because of what we went through with Bear and I think they are negligent and caused his injury.  How do you prove vet malpractice?  It’s got to be harder than Medical Malpractice for humans.  I am not interested in suing them and even if I was I am fairly certain the statue of limitations has expired.  Not trusting all of their staff is probably not a good thing for my kids, but they are the only 24/7 vet in town – they charge like it and they stand on a pedestal and preach it.  Yeah I should probably find another vet but because of my late partner I am sticking with them, unless they just piss me off beyond belief.  When you walk in you hear a sucking sound, that is the money being sucked out of your wallet. I’ve never let go of the anger and unless I send this letter I never will.  There are risks involved if I send the letter so right now I am stewing about it. 

I got the cable for my diabetes meter and it took me 45 minutes to get that setup.  Having some technical problems and the letter I got well it put me in Lewis Black mode.  I was just pissed at everything and everyone.  I did get it working and it’s kind of interesting, you can see a much bigger picture and even print out reports for your doctor.  Yeah I don’t know that I am printing anything out, that could cause commotion with my doctor and I don’t want that. 

Everything else is status quo at the moment.  Dealing with a slightly busy day here, but that is good.  Have a huge presentation to setup for this afternoon.  There is a little pressure there but I can’t do anything until I get the presentation, which I am sure will be in the 11th hour.  I have my massage this afternoon and hope that it goes well.  I had some sudden on set arm pain this morning on the way in, but it’s since resolved.  I felt odd but not in any pain.  Yeah I know it’s the sign of a heart attack but some would say I have no heart.  I’m dismissing it for now but if it comes back I will address it.  My arm is still a little red and there is one scratch that has caused some concern for me.  Until my skin calms down a bit I won’t know if it’s an issue.  My arms frequently turn red, especially when I am under pressure.  So once things calm down I will take a look and see if I need to worry or just keep an eye on it.  Nothing if overly inflamed and I am not in pain, but the itch phase should be kicking in shortly – that is part of the healing and not the fun part either. 

It’s been a busy afternoon.  I put the above part of the post together this morning.  Now we are about an hour and a half away from quitting time.  I am looking forward to getting home.  I need some relaxation.  Massage felt good but as usual she found the knots and worked them like a fiddle so I am sore.  She got me to the point of snoring, I heard myself but I wasn’t asleep – very close though.  I think if I book for 90 minutes she would have to wake me up.

Well back to the grind.  Talk with you peeps later.

Chipped

Last nights mail brought me a new credit card.  This one contains the chip for greater security.  While I am all about that I am sad that at the moment I can’t have a personalized card.  I had sent in a photo of one of the cats and gave the card the nickname of the same cat.  It was just an easy way of keeping track of things.  The bank is working on being able to personalize chipped cards but for now, the basic card is the only thing available. 

So then I had the task of tracking down all of the recurring charges that post to that account, logging into websites and changing the card.  What I found rather odd is that NetFlix already knew that the cards expiration date changed and it was updated automatically.  That is nice but also kind of scary as well.  Every other site I had to manually update.  One site I can’t update unless I send an e-mail with my credit card details and since e-mail is NOT a secure form of communication I will just let the subscription drop and then re-subscribe.  Kind of a pain but better than taking a risk.

I looked at the lawn last night and with all of the rain we have had it looks like a forest.  Mostly weeds and very little grass.  It is in desperate need of being cut.  Hopefully lawn boy makes it there today.  If not then tomorrow we are going to have rain.  I just don’t want any complaints.  There is more than one yard in the subdivision that needs to be mowed.  Homeowners Association dues are due by the end of the month.  We have NEVER ever paid because it wasn’t until after we were in the neighborhood that it was disclosed that there was such an organization.  Had we known up front we would have passed on the house.  Since we have gotten by w/o paying I am continuing that tradition.  1/2 of the subdivision pays and the other 1/2 well we are the delinquents and get our addresses published in a newsletter that tries to shame us into paying.  We have also been threatened that the association will place a lien on our property.  However, we all know that is just talk the don’t have the money to file that many liens and they are using it as a scare tactic.  I just hate the whole mess of it.  The dues are very reasonable but since only 1/2 pays they have had a couple increases to make up for us slackers.  Despite that they are still reasonable. 

Bear is as clean as he has been in a very long time.  I saw him last night use the litterbox, which was awesome.  He is still a picky eater and cries out for plate rotates or different food.  He knows that he’s got me by the balls and that I will jump for him.  So I bitch but I still play along. 

Talked with a couple of friends last night and watched Tosh.O.  I wound up going to bed early and waking up again in the middle of the night.  Tonight I will be doubling up on medicine and that should allow me a full nights sleep.  It sucks waking up but even more so when you realize you have to go to work.  I also had very strange dreams last night, which kind of left me a little foggy this morning.  The house was once again chilly but that is only temporary.  It’s going to heat back up again over the course of the next few days.  Plus by the time I get home at night it’s comfortable.  I don’t think the children enjoy the cold too much. 

I did in fact go out for lunch yesterday.  I had a calzone and was stuffed. It had onions in it and they didn’t set all that well with me.  However, it was very good.  I enjoyed getting away and yesterday seemed to fly by.  This morning we are slow right now but I have already had a couple of bursts where I was super busy.  I like laid back but steady with simple things.  Complicated problems are never fun but oddly enough that is how I learn the most, even though I don’t like working with them. 

My arm is still messed up.  I put on antibiotic ointment and tea tree oil last night.  That helped a little bit. I still see red circles around a couple of the scratches.  That indicates infection.  It’s minor right now but if the circles grow or spread, then it’s time to get to the hospital because the infection is spreading.  I am keeping a close eye on it and think that I will be fine.  These are mostly superficial which is why I think I will be fine. 

So hard to believe that come Friday, May will be 1/2 over with.  Wow, the time is flying by.  I am not looking forward to next week since I will be on-call but it will probably fly by as well.  The weekend will be the worst part of it.  However, the following Monday is a holiday so that will be a nice time to relax and regroup before coming back on Tuesday.

Tomorrow is massage day and I am waiting for the e-mail to come out that the signup sheet is ready.  I need another power hour.  Depending upon what I am able to sign up for will dictate how much money I need to take out of the bank tonight.  It is always nice to look forward to a massage but that time seems to vaporize quickly.  Going for an hour seems to relax me and she gets me right to where I am about to fall asleep.  It’s like getting to the point of orgasm and stopping.  Its nice but it’s also a bit of torture. 

A friend of mine recently got a dog.  He was always a cat person.  Now of all of the things to name a dog he called this dog Winky.  I guess he doesn’t have a dirty mind like me or maybe he does and did it on purpose.  Anyway I can’t wait until the first time someone says to him I want to come play with your Winky. I personally don’t like the name.  This is a guy who made a move on me while I was in my last relationship.  I have thought about circling back and talking with him.  He identifies as straight but if he is so straight why did he play with my ass.  A truly straight guy wouldn’t do that.  I’ve got mixed feelings about it so I leave it alone.  That is probably for the best.  Starting fresh with a new guy and getting to know them – then moving from there.  I will say he was super cute, not sure if that is still the case now. 

So I am out of juice or should I say content to write about.  Guess I will call this post done.  Hope that your Wednesday is a great day and that that sun is shining in your neck of the woods.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Recovering

Mr. Bear finally dried off.  He recovered okay and now can’t seem to stand the sound of running water.  I jumped in the shower this morning and he took off like a bandit.  He normally waits for me and is starting me in the face as I get out.  I guess the events of last night probably damaged that from happening, at least for a while.  Now I get the task of brushing him which I know he will enjoy, it is just taking the time to do it.  My arm on the other hand well it looks better than it did last night but you can still tell that something happened to me.  It hurts a little bit.  I have been putting moisturizer on it.  I am sure you will all say use antibiotic ointment.  Yeah I will get around to that tonight.  I wanted to try to head off the itches, which will get worse as it heals.  No one has said anything to me yet about it, but then again I haven’t really seen many people yet.  So if there is a next time I learned that I need to trim claws before bathing and even then probably wearing something with long sleeves is a good idea. 

The work day is moving right along.  Not quite as hectic as yesterday which is good and the volume is a little lighter, but I have a few tasks to occupy my time.  I am supposed to go out for lunch today, hopefully that materializes because getting out for lunch is healthy, even if only once in a blue moon.  The weather is very nice today and I probably won’t want to come back but I will.  Stuffed full of Pizza which will make me want to take an afternoon nap. 

Getting the mail today, perhaps there will be some good news in there.  Payday is at the end of the week, so I will be giving my money away Thursday night.  That is what I call paying bills.  Think about it you are willingly parting with your money so it’s like giving it away.  Makes sense to me. 

Supper tonight will be a frozen pasta dish by Bertolli.  It is some type of pasta bake.  7 minutes and there is dinner.  Portion size looks to be small but if I eat a big lunch then it will all balance out or so I think.

I filled the water for the first time in over a week.  LB sure did go through it.  I was able to carry this weeks litter to the curb with not much effort at all.  Normally it would be a small undertaking for me.  So now I am a little more mindful of what to look for and hopefully if there are any problems I can head them off.  I priced insulin for cats over the weekend and it really depends upon what type is prescribed.  It goes from dirt cheap to super expensive.  The cheap stuff I saw was pork insulin.  Never knew there was such a thing. 

Were back to mild temperatures and cold nights again.  That is all supposed to change but we are in for a rainy weekend again.  Today is the only predicted nice day so might as well enjoy it.  I felt pretty good last night driving home in the sunshine, plus the commute went way quicker.  This morning we had some delays but I made it to work much sooner.  Sunshine and everything is fine.  Anything else and it’s typically slow going.

Have a great day and I will talk with you peeps later. 

Bear v Bathtub

Tonight when I came home I found that Bear was in need of a bath.  This wasn’t something I could cure with baby wipes or water & paper towels.  So I got everything read and put him in the tub.  He started screaming and went for my arm to have something to hold on to.  I got him clean but I paid the price for it.  My arm is scratched up, so it looks like I got into a fight with a girl.  It itches more than anything.  I got the bleeding to stop, which is a good thing. 

It took a long time to calm Bear down, in fact he was still a little winded when I left him to come write this and throw the towels in the washer.  I didn’t plan on tangling with him or doing laundry but surprise it happened.  He is much cleaner now.  I didn’t have a lot of time to do a complete bath because he was flailing around like a fish out of water.  However, I got his bum cleaned and those hind quarters so were in good shape.  I made sure the shampoo was rinsed out of him and then it took two towels to wash him.  This was a task for two people but what do you do when you are the only person?  You rough it and hope for the best.  Things could have been much worse but I am just thankful that I didn’t get bitten, that would have posed a serious problem. 

So I know my arm is going to itch for a while, that will be annoying but at least my Bear is clean.

It’s been a busy day.  Started off with a rainy commute and I was up early but didn’t know why.  Thankfully I sprang to life and got moving, otherwise I would have been late to work.  As it was I had like 5 minutes to spare.  It was a very long commute all because of some water.  So water is to blame for my problems this morning and this evening. 

When I did have a spare moment I browsed the dating apps and low and behold who do I find on there?  The waiter from Cracker Barrel that I asked out.  According to his profile he is only 20.  I already know he isn’t interested in me but I still expressed an interest in him.  While his body is great and he is good looking, I can’t say that I know much about him as a person.  So I would want to get to know each other to see if there was compatibility and then go from there.  However, I don’t think that is going to happen.  My guess is that he is looking for someone who is in his age range and not an old guy like me.  Still I had no idea if he was gay and well I guess I know the answer to that question now.  I still marvel at how professionally he handled turning me down.  While it’s nice to get a nibble now and then I am ready to find someone and delete those damn apps.

There you have it my day.  Now I am going to play nurse to my arm and check on Bear.  I got him pretty excited, which is totally bad for his condition.  I will talk with you peeps later.

The Weekend Update

Friday night.  I stopped at a gas station and re-fueled the car.  Then made it to the vet’s office to get LB’s cremains.  Then  I came home and had my Lasagna & Garlic Bread.  The prep worked out just right.  The pizza needed to be zapped 1st and then baked.  While that was going on the Lasagna was cooking in the Oven.  So I had both dishes fresh & hot.  It was really good and I ate way too much!

I laid around for the rest of the evening and watched TV, took it easy and went to bed rather early. 

Saturday I woke up early.  I had time to eat at home after feeding the little beggars.  I did that and then climbed in the truck and headed to therapy.  It was a bit rainy but managed to stop by the time I arrived.  I had my last session in the old office, next time my therapist will be in a new office at a new location.  Funny thing, I am not sure how we talked about it but if you’ve followed me for a long time you know about a local restaurant that me & my late partner went to, just so I could oogle after a particular waiter.  Turns out she worked at that restaurant and that hot waiter is the same guy who trained her.  So I thought I might get his last name but she didn’t remember it.  Damn, he was really hot and I found out she had a crush on him too.  SMALL WORLD!

When therapy ended I walked out and into the pouring rain.  Crap not exactly what I was prepared for.  I wanted to call some friends and see about getting together for lunch but passed and headed for home.  I stopped off to pick up the mail, only one thing important in there that was my mortgage bill.  The rest was junk. 

The house was dark like it was almost night time.  The rain was pouring down like a monsoon.  I turned on the kitchen light and got the children lunch.  I got out some cheese cubes and potato chips as well as a soda and that was my lunch.  I watched a little TV and played with my phone but it was soon nap time.  I was KO in a matter of minutes.  It was a damn good nap.

When I woke up I decided it was time to go out for a bite to eat.  My problem as usual was deciding on a place to go.  I was motivated to check out the Cheesecake Factory but the rain put a damper on that.  So I found myself at a local Chinese place.  I had 4 Crab Rangoon, 1 Egg Roll and an order of Special Fried Rice minus the shrimp.  Washed it all down with a couple of diet sodas.  The meal brought back memories but it was also enjoyable.  I tend to frequent the places we went together.  My fortune is “ You have a keen sense of humor and being out the best in others.”  That’s nice too bad it didn’t tell me that I would come into money or meet a guy.  I got my lucky numbers but didn’t do a thing with them. 

Now that the meal was done it was time to shop for cat food.  It was still pouring rain.  Of course once I committed to the turn lane for the house the rain stopped.  I could have turned around but thought nope I will do it tomorrow.  I came home and kind of lounged around for the remainder of the evening. 

Sunday well this day started a little too soon at 6am.  Gator (aka Insty)decided that since I was up I should stay up.  So she screamed her little head off and I wound up feeding them.  I stayed up and paid the price by dealing with my morning allergies.  I continued watching a documentary about sugar.  It was on Netflix and it’s called Fed Up but you will see it listed as F U .  Sugar like other substances is a drug and we are all hooked on it.  They gave lab rats water with cocaine and another set with sugar water.  The rats consumed more sugar water than cocaine water.  Plus the withdrawals were worse on the sugar rats.  The movie is an eye opener but sugar is in damn near everything, so it’s next to impossible to get away from it totally.  However, there are detox programs.  You basically have to cook everything yourself and well I don’t have time for that. 

I eventually fell back asleep and then woke up way too late.  I made it to Steak N Shake for breakfast and got a seat without any problem.  I ordered lunch because breakfast food has a tendency to raise my sugar levels and I eat in over abundance.  I got my usual bowl of chili & Melt Sandwich.  Made it out the door by paying an even number of dollars.  Then on to the grocery store.  Which was not packed but there were the normal amount of people there.  I managed to pick up some popcorn which I have wanted.  I don’t eat a lot of it because it gets stuck in your teeth, then I have to fight to get it out.  I picked up cat food there and paid ten cents more per can but it was worth it.  I forgot to get treats so I am going to have to budget what little bit we have left to make it through the week.  If I do great if not then I guess I will be stopping for treats one night. 

I got everything put away and have continued my quest with laundry.  I still need to wrangle the trash and really am not looking forward to it.  Then there is the matter of supper which will be frozen pizza.  I got some peanut butter and chocolate ice cream as a treat.  I will probably down the whole pint tonight, but I am going to try not to.  I feel like while my weight isn’t moving my sugar readings are getting within tolerance and that is my main goal. 

I just ordered a data cable for my meter so that I can hook it up to my PC and it will interface with some free software that will help me and my doctor better understand how I am doing.  The only thing is that I have to test more often.  I looked at the cost for replacement strips and can get 100 for $24 on Amazon.  I got a discount card for the pharmacy and will see what they cost there.  Obviously I will go where it’s cheaper.  I can’t commit to sticking myself once per day but I will do it a little more often, probably over the weekends.  I know your supposed to test all the damn time but they have a test for that, it’s called the A1c and it gives an average of 3 months of sugars.  They actually have a meter if you want to spend the money for it and the strips that you can run the test in your own home with just a drop of blood.  It’s instant.  I will stick to the now as it’s far cheaper. 

I was feeling pretty down yesterday.  Today the sun is out and even though I have to go back to work tomorrow I am in a better frame of mind.  I still feel all of the loses be it partner or pets.  I am trying to enjoy and appreciate what I have in front of me, knowing that someday I will be mourning their loss as well. 

I saw a movie on Here about the Chippendale’s and how they got started.  It was a nightclub and it allowed women only in.  Eventually one thing led to another and the Fed’s got charges on the owner who was going to plea but the night before his court appearance he committed suicide so that all of his assets would transfer to his wife and the government was left high and dry.  The club closed and now they are a traveling act.  The charges were for murder and 3 attempted murders.  It was interesting to watch, only one really cute dancer and there was a male on male scene but it lasted like 2 seconds before the cute model got angry. 

I find myself now with the uncanny knack that my late partner had in that he knew what was going to happen before it happened.  I kept talking out loud saying oh this is going to happen or watch out he is going to commit suicide.  Not only with this movie but in several others that I have watched.  I used to find that irritating.  If I meet someone I will have to try to remember to keep my mouth closed when were at the movies. 

Real exciting weekend as you can see.  Next weekend I have the Dentist to look forward to.  Then the following weekend I will be on call and after that we will have Memorial Day which is nice and then that weekend I go to get my eyes looked at.  The month is pretty well planned out for me.  Summer is coming!  Bring on the shirtless hot looking guys and maybe I will break out a rope and catch one for myself.  No progress with on-line dating.  I think it’s a total bust.  However, I have to see my subscriptions out until the end.  Then I will probably go on a hiatus for a while. 

So what was the highlight of your weekend?  Did you enjoy it and did it go by too fast like all of the others?  Take care & be well.  I will talk with you peeps later. 

LB’s coming home

I made a call to the vets office and they have LB’s cremains.  I am stopping by tonight to pick them up.  I didn’t have any trouble with Blu and wasn’t emotional at all.  However, considering that I am dealing with a different set of circumstances I can’t promise the same out come this time.  I will go in and try to be strong, I don’t promise to stay that way. 

I am still thinking about it and feeling guilty.  He will go on top of Blu so they can be together.  Here’s hoping he is in a happier place, with his friend and family. 

Better than last Friday

I had my left over BBQ it was just as good as the night before.  Problem is that I didn’t have a lot of it left over so I had to indulge in some desert, but I didn’t go hungry!  The mail brought me a notice about changes in my HomeOwners Policy and how they are starting to cover less things plus the deductable for my roof went up because of the age of the roof.  There is also no longer included coverage for spoiled food due to a power outage, but you can add it back on for an additional cost.  Awesome, but not in a the good way. 

I got my Aveda Products and they all smelly lemony which I didn’t expect.  Used them all this morning and I can’t say they are anything special at this point.  I accomplished what I wanted to which was clean my hair and scalp, condition it and then make it shine. 

I took a slightly different route to work this morning, low on gas probably not a smart idea but I wanted to get my defective phone holster in the mail so that I can get my replacement.  I’ve got like 90 miles to go before my gas tank is empty, so long as that is accurate I will be fine.  I usually stop for fuel on the way home on Friday’s.  Then I let my car sit all weekend in the garage and rest up.  I use the truck for the weekend running around.  If the truck didn’t use so much gas I would use it more often.  I just don’t have built in Bluetooth so I have to wear my headset, which is kind of annoying – but I can still listen to my music and make/take calls.  I am mostly a music person but now and then the phone comes in handy.  I just know if there is an emergency I can’t seem to dial 911 fast enough because in the car I have to navigate through menus by voice.  It’s much easier to pick up the phone press 911 and send. 

I arrived at work around normal time and some how managed to get an awesome spot close to the door in the garage.  That has only happened 2 other times.  1st when we closed last year for the water main break.  2nd over the Christmas/ New Years holiday.  So I thought it was going to be a good day.  So far its been filled with boredom and a couple calls.  I am waiting for someone to call so I can go fix their computer, not sure if that will happen today or not.  1 meeting to setup for in a little bit and that is still up in the air.  Were at least closer to quitting time now than we were when I first got here.  So I suppose we can call that progress. 

Yesterday I drafted a document to bequeath specific property and say what I want to happen in the event of my death.  This list is specified in my will and if it doesn’t exist then all of my stuff goes to the executor and they get to decide what happens.  I want to make sure the children are taken care of, so I outlined what is to happen to them and how they are to be cared for.  I won’t allow them to be separated and have left a nice sum of money behind for their care.  Kind of wish I was one of them.  The best part of this is that I can make changes to the list at any time w/o having to rewrite my will, unless of course I want to change the executor, which right now stands to be my brother.  Unless I get someone special in my life he is it and honestly I really don’t want him to be in charge because I am sure he will fuck it up some how.  Plus he is greedy.  This is something that I have been meaning to do for a while and jut put it off.  Heck it’s still a draft it’s not legal until I print it out and sign it, who knows when that will happen. 

So my friend that has worked in a couple different positions last night was in a shambles.  She got screamed at and was trying to keep her composure.  She is going to ask for severance and if they will let her go.  I got to thinking about it and told her they probably won’t give you severance just because you are unhappy and despise the working conditions.  You can however resign and they can’t prevent that from happening.  Oh, suddenly a change of heart … I need an income.  I can quit my job.  Well then you have to find a way to work around the issues, have someone intervene on your behalf or at the very minimum complain to HR.  We don’t tolerate people yelling or screaming in our environment, regardless of their title.  Plus no one deserves to be treated that way.  One of the people she works for is older and yelled about something she didn’t do because well he forgot to tell her to do it, so of course it was all her fault.  Look my way of seeing this is if your going to yell and scream at me, then you better be prepared to get it right back.  My days of just taking it are long over.  That is the position she needs to be in.  Once she proves that she can and will bark back, then he will back down and treat her better not just on a temporary basis but probably for as long as they work together.  We are supposed to go to lunch today so that should be a fun time.  I am kind of at a loss for words and have no idea what she is going to say.  She is still kind of shaken this morning and it will only take the wind to blow the wrong way once and she will start crying.  Yeah I understand she is miserable but she holds the keys to change and there are a couple options.  1 is bark back 2 is quit and run away 3 is look for another job and just bide your time while your here 4 is go to HR and file a complaint.

On the home front I had to beg Marv to sleep with me last night and he only stayed for part of the night.  Bear came in on his own and we were together until morning.  I love going to sleep but hate the waking up part and starting the day.  Even if today was Friday it still sucked just like the 4 other days of the week.  The weekend isn’t so bad because the agenda is mine to make and if I don’t feel like it then it doesn’t happen.  Right now no weekend plans outside of the usual.  Perhaps that will change, perhaps it won’t. 

Nothing else of note.  I have to work on some therapy homework so that I am ready to go tomorrow.  If I go out for lunch then I will have what I brought for supper.  If I eat at my desk then I will be having Lasagna and a French Bread Cheese Pizza.  Sort of like Garlic Bread & Lasagna, at least that was the idea.  If I don’t have that tonight then I will make sure that it happens at some point over the weekend. 

Have a nice weekend and enjoy the time off and away from the problems.  Then we will pick up again on Monday morning and do it all over again.  Next weekend the Dentist!  Have fun and be well.

Jack Daniels BBQ

So I had my BBQ last night and it was every bit as good as I anticipated.  I found the left over Wavy Lays Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips and they paired up nicely with it.  I stuck my hand in the bag, Ruth saw it move and got interested then when I moved the bag with my hand like it was going to come towards her she took off.  So I had a great meal and entertainment to boot. 

I stopped at Best Buy and got my replacement holster for my phone.  I then found out by going on-line that Mophie warranties their products for 1 year from date of purchase.  So I opened a case with them and since I had my receipt I sent a copy of it.  This morning I received a response back along with a shipping label.  Mail the old one back at their cost and they will send me a new one.  So I will always have a spare.  I am happy about that but just hope that this doesn’t turn into another Otter Box situation, where the same things happens over and over again.  I am trying to be mindful of taking my phone out of the holster and not putting it back until I am truly finished, this will help in extending the life of the holster or so I think. 

Watched my shows last night with the family.  I was smart about it.  I passed out food and treats.  Then after they were done eating, I talked myself into getting some ice cream.  I was able to eat in peace while the family slept.  Now that would have never happened if LB were on the scene.  He would be standing waiting for his turn and trying to take the container away from me.  While I enjoyed eating in peace it would have been nice to have a black fuzzy cat nagging at me.  Everyone still seems a little confused by LB’s absence even though he passed away at home. 

My lunch time staff meeting went okay.  The food was really good and more than I typically eat at lunch, so I am stuffed to the gills and ready for a nap.  It’s dead here this afternoon.  I could try to find the monitor I have been looking for but honestly being so full I really don’t feel like it.  The week has been busy overall, which is great for making time fly.  However, right now since there is a lull I am just enjoying it for what it is and hoping that I don’t get too bored.

So tonight I have to stop and pick up mail, hopefully nothing but good news waiting for me.  Yeah I found out yesterday all homosexuals are being sued in Nebraska.  A lady who is up there in years filed a written complaint to sue all Homosexuals aka Gays, because we are committing sin.  She is not happy that laws are being passed to ‘accommodate’ us.  I looked high and low but I was only able to find page 1 of her complaint.  I would be interested in reading the entire thing.  Of course it’s going to be thrown out because there is a separation of Church & State.  The suit is without merit and there isn’t anything a State Court can do that affects the lives of all gay people in the US.  It was however a nice try on her part.  In her opinion we are making a choice to chose to be gay.  After all we hide in the closet.  Yeah it’s a metaphor for keeping it confidential.  If we truly were in a closet who knows we might all be making out with each other.  I digress.   I get to pick up my Aveda order from the front porch and possibly need to stop for fuel.  I will be having left over BBQ, it just has to be better the 2nd day. 

Then it will be time to relax, unwind and then come back tomorrow and do it all over again.  My boss is on vacation next week.  I kind of wish I was too, but not a staycation but a real vacation if only for a couple days.  My brothers surgery is today.  I haven’t heard anything so I suspect all is going well.  Hopefully he comes out of it in better shape than when he went in.  He’s having a circulation problem in his legs corrected and getting his varicose veins fixed as well.  I think it’s a fairly common thing but you have no guarantee, each time you go under there is still a chance you won’t come back.  His girlfriend is adamant about getting him to quit smoking.  She said that at one point he was down to 3 per day, that is pretty good.  However, as soon as they told him he needed surgery he started up again.

This weekend I get to see my therapist and next weekend I get to see the dentist.  It will be two Saturdays of getting up early.  While I am kind of adverse to that I still have the option of taking an afternoon nap, so that kind of makes it all better.  Since my turn at being on-call is coming up I am keeping an eye on evening and weekend activity.  The weekdays seem to be smooth and no bothers, primarily because we have staff that is still in the office.  The weekend is busy as ever.  Some days have started at 7am.  That is a bit early for me but it’s work and very much apart of what I signed up for. 

Rain is in the forecast for the remainder of today through the weekend.  So high chance I will get to go grocery shopping in the rain, which is my least favorite thing to do, especially when it’s raining.  I mean it’s bad enough as it is.  I haven’t checked the 2nd lottery ticket so I guess I could be a winner but something tells me that I am not.  I mean my entire life from entering contest after contest I have won so very few times.  I mean this is like the one contest that everyone is trying to win and for a good reason they would be rich and able to do whatever they wanted. 

So there you have my Thursday.  Ready for Friday but kind of wish it was today.  The idea of coming back tomorrow never does sound appealing.  Everyone here always asks are you in for the rest of the week or will you be here tomorrow.  I always reply yeah unless they tell me otherwise.  So yeah in other words I will be here.  It beats the alterative but then again I have met very few people who actually enjoy working for a living.  Take care and I hope the sun is shining on you and in your life. 

In the middle

Last night I ate my burrito and it was really good, despite it being filled with Chicken.  It was a relaxing evening I did some surfing but spent time with the children and my phone before calling it a night.  Kind of boring, I know.  I did stop and get the mail.  I got a note from my credit card about the dispute with the AC.  Turns out that if I want the charge to go back on my account, I need to contact the merchant and give them some specific language to use.  Otherwise they have to prove that the charge is valid.  Right now I kind of have them by the short straw, but I know eventually they will either win the dispute or they will ask me for the money they sent me via check.  I thought about contacting them but then remembered how their technician wasted my time and the reason why we are in this position in the first place is due to their failure to communicate.  So I am letting it ride and waiting to see what happens. 

I’ve noticed lately that my phone seems to be slipping out of the holder or maybe not making it in there in the first place.  I looked at it and the clip at the top is cracking.  I applied some Gorilla Glue to it to help mend it.  However, I will be hitting up Best Buy tonight after work to get a replacement.  I kind of figured that since it was plastic it would break.  I got it last year so I guess it’s served it’s purpose.  I will be looking tonight to see if there is a warranty with the new one, just in case this happens again.  I suspect this will repeat it’s self. 

Yesterday on the way to work I saw money in the road.  It looked like $1, if there had been more I am sure there would have been an accident.  I checked my lottery numbers this morning and damn no winner.  I still have one more chance another drawing tonight.  So hokus, pokus, make me wealthy with lots of money.  Shazam!  I really don’t think that will work but if it did I would call my boss and say I won’t be in today I won the lottery, need to go claim my prize.  Then I would quit my job, get a nice vehicle, hire a bonded cat sitter and hit the open road or maybe just take a cab to the airport.  I would go off on vacation and probably find some other part of the country to relocate to and bring the children with me.  Ah well no charge for dreaming.

I saw a posting on FB this morning.  You stay an hour late in the office no one notices or says anything.  You show up 5 minutes late and it’s like the world is coming to an end.  What’s wrong with this picture?  There is much truth to that. 

So on the menu for tonight is Jack Daniels BBQ Pork.  I hope it’s as good as it sounds.  I am looking forward to the smell and the taste.  Plus all of my TV shows are on tonight so there is entertainment.  Tomorrow work is buying lunch and I get to go to a staff meeting.  So at least I can take a break from packing lunch.  It will feel so odd walking in without my lunch, but it will also be nice as well.  Leaving work I will feel like I forgot something but the old memory will kick in. 

Yesterday afternoon, I went browsing to see about adopting a cat to see if I could find one that looked similar to LB.  I found one that was an almost but then I saw the fee for the adoption, no wonder there are so many pets at the pound.  The fees are high and then you have to get food, litter, etc.  Pet ownership is more like a hobby.  Hobby’s typically always cost money.  I know I can’t really replace LB but I wish I could.  The girls still sit at the back door staring off into space.  Marvin has been doing it a little bit too.  I guess the word didn’t spread to everyone.  Eventually they will just adjust to the new normal, like I have to.  Feels funny every meal only opening 2 cans of food and counting in the morning not going to 6.  At first it was odd not going to 7 but I got used to that.  6 was like a perfect number.  They were all evenly balanced 3 boys and 3 girls.  Now the girls have 1 more than the boys.  I just don’t want to part with any of them.  They all seems to be used to each other and while they have their moments, most everyone gets along.  I know while it seems bad and odd now, it can always get worse.  So I am very much thankful for what I have.  I just want to keep all of them for many more years.  Their birthdays are around the corner.

So that is all I know.  My brain is trying to keep up with work, I was eating lunch and watching TV on my phone.  So if this post doesn’t make much sense to you – there is the reason why.  I am kind of all over the place with my thoughts but I think given the circumstances I am doing okay.  Now back to the fun house.  TTYL

Another day

So here I am at the nut farm, trying to make sure everything that is broken is fixed or at least has a band aid to make it temporarily work.  I found out this morning that one of my counterparts in another office is leaving.  That took me by surprise.  It will also screw up our on-call rotation, it was perfect 4 time a year.  Now someone will need to pick up her shift and then later in the year the same thing.  Hopefully we will replace her but the whole interviewing process will take time and then you have to be trained, etc.  Most people here stick it out, longevity seems to be a recurring theme.  It’s one of the things that I looked for when selecting an employer.  No job is perfect but unless something much better comes along I won’t be going anywhere despite the fact that there are few things I would like to change. 

Last night I had left over pizza, it was pretty good.  I had to police the children to make sure that everyone was eating.  Ruth and her mother both spend a lot of time at the back door it’s like they are looking for LB, but for all I know they are on raccoon patrol.  Everyone seems a little more chill since LB’s departure.  I am a happy camper as long as everyone is eating and using the litter box.  Speaking of which I noticed that the litter load is much, much lighter.  That poor boy was really doing some peeing – it was only a handful of signs that were present, that I didn’t even think to react to. 

I do feel a little bit better today.  Yesterday was rough.  A normal night would be coming home, feeding him and then watching him make rounds to gobble up as much food as possible.  Then after I ate, momma would follow me to the basement.  LB would follow and the two of them would fall asleep in my office as I traversed the internet.  It was truly a sight to behold.  Then momma would wake up and start playing and crowing.  That would stir up LB because no one can sleep if Momma is playing, she makes sure of it.  Then the quest for treats would begin.  He got another can of food and so did the girls.  Marv & Bear both get treats and Ruth usually manages to get some as well.  So now most of that happens but there is just no LB and the food consumption has gone down.  Time will help heal this wound and I know I can recover.  It doesn’t help that I have a picture of him hanging right by my desk at home.  It was a photo that my late partner took and LB looks so good. 

I didn’t really hang around the computer very long, did some quick surfing and then it was upstairs to hang out with the family.  I watched TV for a while and then called it a night.  I saw the Glee episode where Brittany told everyone that she was pregnant.  Artie flipped out and then she explained that a stork built a nest at her house, so she knew that it was going to bring her a baby.  So she wasn’t pregnant at all, just stupid, but that is the character.  It was good for a laugh.  I also watched some DL Hugley, he’s got a new stand up routine on Netflix.  I’ve seen it before but he’s one of those people that say so many good things, you can’t remember them all, so you have to go back to listen again and again. 

Waking up was the hardest part.  Insty was with me last night and she was fine until 5am, then she started stirring and I just wanted to put her out. I ignored her she settled down, I got back to sleep and then the alarm was about to go off when I woke up.  I couldn’t believe it was time again, already.  So back to the routine. 

I did get an e-mail from my boss asking how I was doing and if the arrangements had been made for LB.  I told her I was doing okay, the arrangements had been made and that I really struggle with death.  It’s something that I have always had issues with.  The finality of it all is what gets me, knowing that someone or something is gone forever.  Plus there is the fact that we think positive thoughts they are in heaven and in a better place, when in fact we have no idea.  My boss doesn’t know about my sexuality nor the loss of my partner.  I am sure that if she did, she would be even more sympathetic.  While I’d kind of like to tell her the story of my life, I just think its better off left out of the workplace. 

On a different note I had been doing a good job of removing sugar from my lunch.  Today I gave in and had a nutty bar and I am so tired now.  Before I would feel alive and not drained like I do now.  It’s like my body is telling me it’s time for a nap, which sounds like a good idea but isn’t a good idea since I am at work.

My Aveda products are on the way and should be delivered on Thursday.  So Friday morning I should be able to use them.  Looking forward to that.  Plus the weekend but I have a therapy appointment on Saturday, so no sleeping in for me.  Tonight’s dinner will be a Chicken Fajita Burrito I picked up from the store.  Looking forward to sinking my teeth into that.  Wednesday will probably be BBQ.  Thursday and Friday – who knows. 

Today is a little more relaxed at work in that there have been no major problems.  Let’s hope it stays that way.  Now I get to go back to it.  Fun.  Hope your Tuesday is uneventful and relaxing or at least that you were able to make it outside and it was nice weather.  Talk with you peeps later.

It’s a Manic Monday

Seems like everything I say I don’t want, seems to happen.  So I am going to see if I can work that in my favor.  I hope I don’t win the lottery.

Today has been a hellish day.  Our primary data circuit went down, so we failed over to a backup but by design backup circuits aren’t designed to carry the full load.  So it’s a smaller pipe.  As more people arrived performance went down the drain until eventually we were all at a stand still.  Don’t ask me how but I was able to participate in a video conference.  The only thing I can think of is that it’s done on a separate circuit. In any event things went back to normal within a few hours.  Now it’s like playing catch up from 2 days in stead of 1.  I think I am caught up now.  Just in time to participate in my afternoon phone shift.  Oh joy.  At least this morning the phones also stopped working.  Shame that can’t happen more often.  It’s a nice day out, perfect time for a fire drill or to practice in case a tornado crops up.  I mean you can’t ever be too prepared. 

It was difficult to get moving this morning.  I had to make sure everyone was eating.  A couple of the cats are confused and Ruth & Momma seem to wait by the back door as if LB is going to come walking up.  He’s been an inside cat for at least 5 years, he’s not going to come walking up but if he did I would let him in.  Feeding time is a reminder as well.  I know that it will take time to get used to the loss and adjust to a new normal.  It just sucks. 

So I made it in to work, hopefully things get easier as the days go by this week.  I did break down and do some retail therapy but via on-line.  I purchased some Shampoo, Conditioner and Pomade from Aveda.  I blame it on Mark E. Miller because he mentioned Aveda products during one of his podcasts last week.  I wish I could order products that would make me look like him, then a lot of my troubles would be over with.  Sadly that isn’t going to happen.  At least I have something to look forward to UPS dropping off at my door.  The order shipped today so I am more than ready to give it a try.  Aveda is a high end brand that isn’t cheap.  The next high end brand that I am familiar with is Sebastian International.  I love their products as well but have been stuck on Paul Mitchell which is a middle of the road brand.  It all does the same thing clean and condition your hair but there is something about hair care and writing instruments – I am obsessed with both and won’t hesitate to spend a fortune.  I’ve got enough product that I could open my own salon and I never, ever need to buy another pen again because I have more than a lifetime supply.  Then throw in gay porn, food, sweets and you have a complete list of all of my vices.  We all have them but we don’t all admit to having them.

I need to run.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Cleaning Sunday

I had great plans to clean the carpets but I have managed to talk myself out of that.  I did vacuum, but had to skip my bedroom because the boys were in there.  When I was done, Marv raced down stairs as fast as he could.  He’s been there ever since.  He won’t come up until it’s time for treats.

The girls look at me funny when I put there food down first.  I always fed LB first, they would move in around him until there floor hit the ground.  Then I fed Bear.  Now that it’s only two cans of food, it’s quicker and well just a bit awkward at the moment.  I can’t bring myself to clean the table or the coffee table those were the primary places for him to hang out.  It feels sort of like I am erasing a memory.

I did some looking at LB’s medical folder and the first time we got him to the vet was back in 2010.  He’s been around since 2008 or early 2009.  I also saw the few times he was there he was always around 12 pounds, which was the perfect weight for him.  So like with Blu our time was very short, not unusual for an outdoor/indoor cat.  The outdoor part shaves years off of there life expectancy.

I have thought about getting another cat but I know it won’t be the same, there is no duplicating one cat.  Just like people they/we are all unique and are irreplaceable.  I really wanted more time with him, it’s just so unfair.  While I am thankful for the time I had, I would gladly have paid some money to get more time.

So on a different note, I went to the grocery store today.  The cashier remarked about how this was a light load for me.  I went through the store like a zombie, plus there was some stuff that I wanted they didn’t have.  In any case I told her about LB and we chatted for a bit.  I didn’t spend that much money there.  However, I had to visit the other grocery store to pick up Oatmeal and they only had 1 box.  I got lots of stuff that I shouldn’t have bought but did.  So between the 2 stores I spent close to $100.

I should be eating good this week.  I got some Jack Daniels BBQ Pork, Braunschwager, Freshly made refrigerated Chicken Fajita Burrito and of course a Chicago Classic Uno Pizza.  I had the pizza for dinner and it was pretty good.  Better than the last one I had.  I ate 1/2 and save the other 1/2 for another time. 

I checked my sugar after nap time today and it was 75.  That is a little low but still a very good number.  So my efforts are starting to pay off.  My stomach is still a mess and I suspect it will be that way for a while until my body adjusts.  I did purchase sweets but I’m eating them in moderation.  Who can go cold turkey away from sugar?  Not this guy!  Why torture myself like that – then go through withdrawals and then I would find myself at the M&M Mars Hospital for Sugar Attics.  Seriously though if you don’t get enough sugar your body can crash and it can have adverse affects on you.  I want to avoid those.  Sort of like with sex, let’s just skip all of the work and get to the good part. 

I really, really wanted to go to The Cheesecake Factory for supper but talked myself out of it, besides that once I got that pizza it was a done deal.  I will get there eventually and I am sure it will be a blissful experience when I do manage to make it.  It was either their or the local pizza place for Deep Dish Pizza.  Well the grocery store had the figured out for me. 

I am still doing laundry.  The trash needs to be wrangled so you might say I am running behind, but that’s okay it will all get done in the end.  I am just happy that I was able to wash my bed stuff.  Marvin will get his medicine tonight so hopefully he won’t puke all over the clean cover.

I managed to put flea medicine on Momma and that always knocks any cat out after about an hour or so.  She ate dinner and then I found her with her head in the plate.  Like she just collapsed.  She got some good sleeping on and then came running to me when she woke up.  As if to say thanks.  Now it probably won’t stop her from chewing on herself but my hope is that it will at least lessen it. 

Monday will no doubt suck.  Not only to I have to go back to work but there is a bunch of stuff to do and I will have to deal with all of the co-workers wanting to talk about LB and dealing with that.  So hopefully the day will move quickly so we can get it all out of the way.  I hope it’s a productive day and not crazy busy but just steady with simple issues and quick wins as I call them.  Things like password resets or machine reboots – nothing that I have to think too much about to solve. 

Nothing to report on the dating front.  I’ve been through all of the apps, as I do on any given day – multiple times.  Hoping and praying for a message and to meet someone but it’s a bust.  Too bad I am not looking for a hookup because I am sure I would have had a lot more opportunities.  Ah well I suppose my time will come.  I kind of wish that would be now but tomorrow is perfectly okay.  Do you hear me Mr. Sandman? 

Nurse Jackie and Secrets & Lies are my evening TV that I have to look forward to.  I will probably chow down on some Cherries Garcia as I would on most any Sunday and I of course will be thinking about LB.  He loved it when I gave him the carton to lick.  I also found a snapshot I took of him with the spy cam when he was on the table sleeping.  Glad I found that, I’ve saved it to my phone so I will have it forever. 

Last week was a fucking horrible week for me.  I hope that this week is far better and that something majorly good happens to change my mood.  Saturday I have a therapy appointment.  It will be the last time we meet in this office.  My therapist is moving so I will have to figure out how to get to the new place but thankfully I have my trusty iPhone and it will guide me.

The first full week of May.  Sunday the 9th is Mother’s Day.  I got my mom’s card for her today.  She doesn’t know it but the meal we had on Friday was her present.  No way would I try to pry my way into a restaurant on Mother’s Day.  Which means I might be having breakfast at home next Sunday.  I don’t know about your neck of the woods but here Mother’s & Father’s Day all of the restaurants are packed. 

C’mon good times, I am ready for you!  I bid you all a good week!

 

In memory of my LB.  Miss you buddy!