11 June 2015

Scarlet Letter

Here we are on Traffic Thursday, should be interesting when I leave the building.  I was able to back in as I wanted to and did a really good job, which was kind of impressing if only to me.  My backup skills are better than I give myself credit for.  My parallel parking skills are shit and I know it.  Hopefully my next vehicle will have a button to press so the car does it for you.  I will just be glad when I am able to get on the freeway and we can call it a day.  Then life returns to normal tomorrow.

Well I was like a kid in a candy store last night with all of the packages.  The children just watched me as if to say, what’s for me.  My new headset is might lighter than the old one and works just as good.  I had some hearing problems on the old one at times.  There weren’t too many calls this morning but I did have a few and everyone sounded okay.  I had to turn the volume up for one of them.  Only time will tell if my hearing is better with the new headset.  The replacement headset that I got a refund for that showed up at my door last night as well.  I am keeping it in the box just in case Amazon asks for it back, otherwise I will just store it away as a spare.  I got my Tenga eggs and from what I can tell they all appear to be the same design.  I took one for a test drive last night and it was awesome.  I hope that will help in getting rid of knots from my back so the massage lady doesn’t find anything to torture me with.

My Furnace Filters are at the post office, ready for pick up.  I won’t be able to get them until Saturday.  Man I will have to dance.  I have to go to the DMV to renew my plates, to the post office to get those filters and then on to therapy.  Wish me luck because I will need every bit of it.  Holy cow I will be in rush mode.  Plus I will be going to a new office so navigating will be interesting.  Thank God for my iPhone or I would be lost.   My pride shirt is being delivered today, so I will be able to wash and wear it on Saturday.  I am interested to see if I get any reaction at all.  I won’t be too many places but I won’t be hiding either. 

Speaking of massage today is the day for that.  As per usual I am looking forward to it.  I’m going to ask to spend much more time face down, because that is the part that I enjoy the most.  The problem is that you can’t see how much time you have left, so it’s a guess.  I know were at the end when I hear the towel being rung out.  She goes over your back with a hot towel at the end to get rid of all of the left over lotion, which is something that no one has done before.  Nice service and the price is decent as well.

On the Bankruptcy front, I feel like I am wearing a scarlet letter or something.  I don’t know if it’s the gay factor or what but everyone that I have reached out to has yet to answer me.  The guy I spoke with last week that I thought for sure would talk with me on Monday never called back.  I reached out to him this morning.  Now he was kind enough to provide me his cell and home phone numbers but I feel like calling those unless specifically told to, is a violation of privacy.  I have to tread lightly with him because he has connections to my employer.  I am not looking to pester or anger anyone, I just need some solid advice that is 100% accurate so I know what to do when push turns to shove, as I know it will.  I am in what I consider to be a very odd position and I am not even certain if anyone has been in a similar position before.  All of the attorneys I have spoken with except for my late partners Bankruptcy attorney have all said, it’s baffling how you got a mortgage in your name while there was an active Bankruptcy.  That statement repeated several times over is cause for serious concern.  I am tired and feel that I have more than paid my dues.  I want to move on with life and put all of this mess behind me.  It’s bad enough that I lost the one I love, that in and of it’s self I think should be payment enough, but just because that is my opinion doesn’t make it so.  My hope is that I will get some answers soon before I am stuck in making a decision that could have irrevocable and serious consequences.  Let’s just pray that someone comes through very quickly, so that I can form a game plan and get on with it. 

I am not sure why but I often think of some of the people who suddenly abandoned me that I thought were my friends.  In particular I think about the convict.  I traveled all over the state to see him, wrote letters to him and generally was giving of my time.  I answered computer questions and helped out once he got out of prison.  Then my partner who he considered to be his uncle dies and presto chango we are no longer friends.  I don’t know if it’s his wife’s decision or if it was his but he should be willing to reach out and say hey what’s up.  His wife really wanted in our house and offered numerous times to clean it.  I think she is nosy and just wanted to know how many dildos she would find or perhaps she thought we were rich and she could rob us.  All I do know is that she was deeply offended when we kept saying no.  It wasn’t him it was me.  I don’t want some stranger coming into my home cleaning, if I did I would call a licensed/bonded maid service.  I don’t know why we couldn’t keep a friendship alive, but clearly this wasn’t my choice it was his or theirs.  I could reach out to him but I feel that would be awkward and he has already proven to me that were not friends, so why bother.  Then there is my former classmate who I remember telling me at his wedding that our friendship would never, ever change.  Yeah, that wasn’t the case and I knew it.  I was in his wedding and I was so depressed but he kind of cheered me up, plus I thought maybe someday he would come to my wedding.  In any case he had a kid, got divorced and hasn’t really spoken with me since.  My supposition with this is that he figured out that I was gay.  He was raised that gay people were bad and so he is going off of what he was taught.  All thought I can assure you I won’t be the only gay person that he interacts with in his lifetime.  I gave up on him a long time ago because it was just futile.  I sent him a letter and told him that if he ever changed his mind, reach out.  I however won’t be holding my breath.

Ah, nothing like blog therapy to help get rid of toxins.  Now that is out of my system, I can move on.  Tomorrow I am wearing my hot pink polo to work.  That should be interesting on the reactions and/or comments I get.  All thought I have shown up in florescent orange and it doesn’t seem to bother anyone.  Bright colors are easy to spot so why not be loud, it sets you apart from the rest of the crowd.  Let’s face it I am different, so might as well play the part.  I’ve heard gossip around that this one is gay or that one might be.  Yeah, okay whatever.  I don’t care.  I am at work and all I want to do is the job I was hired for.  I am not here to win friends or influence people.  I just want a paycheck, nothing more and nothing less.  If I happen to make a true friend along the way, great.  Most of the people that claim to be your friend at work won’t be there for you when you need them.  They won’t come to your funeral, to your wedding or even see your family.  They are friends when it benefits them.  It sucks but that is true for most of the people you think are your friends at work.  Now there are a few that are really true blue friends but you have to be able to weed them out and nothing better than a little crisis and that usually does the trick.  Those that are there for you really care about you.

Okay time to wrap things up and get this posted.  Massage time is about 15 minutes away.  Take care.

No comments: