22 August 2015

Will it to Be

I have what I consider to be a strange power.  I can think about someone at work that is a problem caller, think a thought like mom doesn’t have my cell number or anything that seems to be negative or situations that I don’t want to confront.  Boom, they happen.  Case and point … I was thinking that my mom has never asked me what my cell phone number is.  When we met for lunch today she asked me two times.  Both times I told her 911 and she believed me.  I told her it was a joke, don’t call it call my home number and it will ring my cell phone.  That is if I had it setup that way, which I don’t.  If she did have my cell number she would pester me a lot more.

So as you can tell by the last paragraph I met up with mom today.  We went to lunch at Olive Garden.  I got the usual Tour of Italy and Pumpkin Cheesecake (fall special).  Mom had the usual Soup & Salad.  I asked her if she still got the paper, she said no they stopped it a while back.  I told her that one of her past boyfriends passed away.  He was the guy that she thought planted drugs at the house.  Jesus I wish I would have never said a thing about it.  Between that and my Brother wanting to put her in a nursing home and how he is going to get married it was just non stop nonsense babble.  As per usual we passed by one of her doctors offices and she said I go there for therapy.  Yeah I know, she has only told me that each time we pass the place which is twice per trip.  Then she asked me for help with her cell phone.  She forgot her voice mail password so I had to go through the prompts to get that reset and finally I had to add more money to her account.  She does a pre-paid phone with Verizon.  Then it was on to the Cable Remote Control.  It wasn’t paired with the TV but my brother told her not to touch the TV remote.  So she leaves the TV on all the time.  Kind of silly.  So after trying to figure it out on my own, I called the cable company and they walked me through the process.  Presto, all fixed.  I did take a couple of quick naps while resting on the leather couch.  The fun part was trying to get out of the couch, it’s like a trap.  You get comfy and sink in then you play hell trying to get out.  We went outside and played with the dogs for a while.  Then I hit the road.  I spent a couple hours with her total.  She was crying when I left because she was being left alone again.  While I understand her pain, I can only give so much of my time to her  - then I have to go. 

The TV that she fell on, the screen is cracked and they need a new TV.  She asked me about fixing it.  I told her it wasn’t worth it, just recycle it and buy a new one.  TV’s are affordable in the $200 – $300 price range.  It would cost about the same or more to repair what she had.  The LCD is the most expensive part and that is what is damaged.  Since I saw her last, mom has really put on the weight.  She is starting to look like the Nutty Professor when he gets fatter and fatter.  She had this moo-moo of a shirt on and it didn’t do her any favors.  Her goal is to loose 30 pounds by Christmas.  Most of the weight comes from the Mental Health medicine that she is on.  With that you go to one or the other extreme.  In her case she is hungry.  I told her if she wants to loose weight cut out soda, you would be surprised at the amount of weight that causes you to gain or keep on. 

I fueled up the truck and took that down to see mom.  There is a serious issue with the brakes going on.  I had a couple of close calls where I didn’t think I was going to stop.  Then a couple times I felt it as I pushed on the brake like the truck was going sideways.  It’s amazing none of this started until I went to the dealer for an oil change.  It’s like they did something to it.  My choices today were go to lunch with mom or buy a new vehicle.  I chose the cheaper of the two.  The truck will stay parked in the driveway for a while.  Shame it’s got a full tank of gas too.  Everything else with it seems to be okay.  Brakes could be expensive and considering that I just drive it to keep it able to function and not fall apart on me.  It’s not a major worry or problem.  Now if that would be my car, I would be singing another tune.  Not exactly sure what I am going to do about it but I don’t think I will be addressing it anytime soon, then again I could fool myself. 

Working on laundry and sitting in a hot house.  I need to adjust the AC but I am too lazy to get up and do that.  It will be worse when I go upstairs but then I will adjust the AC because the thermostat is upstairs.  I try to keep it slightly warm because the cats love the heat, but I don’t.  In the summer they usually freeze and in the winter they are comfortable 

I’ve been thinking about my long lost love and how much I miss him.  The quirks he had.  Things he used to say and how it was so nice to come home to him.  I’m ready to try that with someone else since I can’t have him back.  I just wish that someone would come into my life.  Going back to the first paragraph of this post.  I have often wondered why I can’t wish for positive things to happen like finding a man or winning the lottery or perhaps both. 

This was clearly not what I had in mind on how I would spend my Saturday, but it wasn’t terribly painful.  I know mom appreciated it and I did it for her.  I also took her up on her offer to pay the bill.  Then I get this speech on the way back to the house about how she is poor.  Wow, I felt bad for a second but that feeling passed.  I am sure when my brother finds out that she spent money today he will hit the ceiling.  He’s got his hands full with trying to manage a girlfriend and mom.  I almost feel sorry for him.  However, given his age it’s time that he grows up.  Mom said that he was thinking about suicide, then she tells me she has been thinking about it.  I was like wow what are the odds that all 3 of us are thinking about the same thing.  I understand my life and my problems.  I understand my mom and her issues.  My brother nah, that doesn’t add up.  He gets to sleep with his girlfriend every night, is only home to eat supper and pack clothes, no doubt he is having sex most every night.  What is there to be sad about, why would you want out of that?  I mean he is after all with the love of his life. 

Ah well.  I got a hairscut and cat food.  Wow what a day.  Tomorrow will be breakfast out, grocery store and prepping for next week, as well as finishing up laundry.  I am working on all of the pet laundry now.  Bad habit, I tend to put everyone and everything else ahead of myself.  That is no good for me but it’s just apart of who I am. 

Now up to adjust the AC and eat some Ice Cream or something that is cold and I guess it would help if I got naked.  That is like the best perk of living alone.  The windows aren’t covered in all parts of the house, but most of the time you will find me either naked or walking around in my underwear.  No one ever sees until, woops oh fuck there is the neighbor.  Yeah that’s happened before but I just wave and run away.  I would get bitched at before now there isn’t anyone to yell at me, despite liking the idea I wish there was someone here to yell at me. 

Cheers to Saturday.  Hope you had fun!

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