14 August 2015

Laptop upgraded

I got the word yesterday that Windows 10 was ready for my laptop.  So instead of blogging I chose to upgrade.  It was pretty much an all day process.  It was done by lunch time.  Then I had to go through all of the prompts and configure it the way I wanted it to be.  Had some issues with Internet Exploder and between work and working on this there really wasn’t time to blog.  All is well now and both of my machines are on Windows 10 Pro.  I’m happy so long as they keep on working fine.  My desktop icons on my laptop didn’t get rearranged like they did on my desktop.  Must have something to do with multi monitor mode. 

I was talking with a couple of the guys from work yesterday.  We got to talking about the dress code.  One guy said that he would like to work naked.  I didn’t react and he thought that would get a rise out of me.  Nope.  The other guy said no one here wants to see me naked.  With out missing a beat I looked at him and said oh that’s not true.  Yeah he had no idea that I was talking about myself.  From as best as I can tell he appears to have a nice body so I wouldn’t mind seeing it but I didn’t clarify my response, I just let it go.  I am not all about a naked dress code there are some people here that I am thankful that they wear clothes.  Woof!  It was an interesting conversation to say the least.  Never thought the conversation would go there. 

Last night I got a phone call from the friend that I was supposed to dine with last weekend and they want to get together this weekend.  So I have 2 meals out planned for tomorrow.  1st catching up with my friend who I think is gay and seeing where that goes, this is lunch.  Then for supper the 2nd meet up at Maggiano’s for pasta.  Yeah I am going to be eating good tomorrow and I suspect very full.  It will be nice to do something different with my Saturday and get out in the world.

In other news gasoline prices here are on the rise.  There was some issue at a refinery and it was going to take 2 weeks for the hike to be in place, but I read the story yesterday and on the way home I saw the prices jumping already.  Not a good weekend for traveling but I will manage.  I wanted to fill up the truck before the hike was in place, but doesn’t look like that will happen.  Poor wallet.  It will be empty like the gas tank. 

I will be working on the scratch this weekend as well.  I need to start tonight because you have to let the clear coat setup for 24 hours before you can move to the next step in the process.  I don’t know that I will give it 24 hours but then again I might.  I like to take shortcuts and tend to stray away from following directions for personal projects because I am time poor and want everything done now.  So that I can move on to the next thing.  There are only so many hours in a day. 

I’ve got a new song that I love right now.  It’s Scotty Dynamo’s mix up on Bad Blood.  He did an awesome job and I really like it a lot.  The YouTube video got pulled for copyright issues but he’s done plenty of mash ups like this before without any problem.  I just don’t get it.  Anyway there is another way to watch and I will hopefully be able to post a link at the end of this video.  Give it a listen and you too might be hooked. 

So my day tomorrow will start out with Therapy.  Not sure but this might be my last session.  That kind of depends mostly upon my therapists schedule.  If she no longer has Saturday’s free well then I will call it.  If she does then I will stick around for a session or two longer.  I remember when I walked in the door.  My life was spinning out of control.  Lost partner, Mortgage Company that wouldn’t work with me, Lost my job, Worried about the future and all of the fighting I was doing with my partner’s affairs.  Look at me now, my life for the most part is normal.  I have processed my partners death but still have my moments, the mortgage is now in my name and I have a decent job making a good living.  It’s like a life makeover but I made it happen – no one gave me a damn thing.  That is something I am immensely proud of.  While it’s nice to have handouts, especially when the chips are down they just never seem to be there for me.  Everything I have in this world I had to fight for and I suspect that will be the case for the remainder of my life. 

Yesterday I saw a posting from Shane Bitney Crone where he said it took him 4 years but he took a big step yesterday and changed his relationship status on Facebook to Single.  He lost his partner Tom Bridegroom 4 years ago.  While I understand the challenge and pain associated with the task, I didn’t have to go through that.  I have always been listed as single because we wanted to keep our relationship a secret.  I can however tell you that while Shane is younger than me and his relationship lasted shorter than mine, his pain has to be equally as great as what I have experienced.  Earlier this week I took an opportunity to soak my foot and had to hang up the extra towel in what used to be my partners bathroom.  I walked in hung it up and then walked out and started staring at his bed.  I saw his CPAP machine, his cane left in the exact place where he put it and the glass that he took his last drink of water from.  I just can’t move those things.  It sounds like it would be simple.  Just looking at it took me back in time and I just reflected on the immense pain that I still feel to this day of my loss.  I know his health wasn’t the best but I would love to have him back and I miss him and his cooking so very much.  I have worked hard to suppress the pain in order to be able to function in every day life.  I wonder if it will diminish with time or if it will be as strong as it is today and never ease up.  Only time will tell.  We all grieve differently.  Shane said that some people have told him that he is damaged goods and that guys won’t want to be with him.  I never thought of myself as damaged good and but I do think that I will have a hard time finding a boyfriend simply because of my age and my figure.  Shane on the other hand has youth and a great figure – so I totally disagree with it.  I don’t think that his experience of losing his partner through no fault of his own makes him damaged goods.  I think that it will cause him to cherish his next relationship even more than he did the first and to live each day like it’s his last.  Thus he will get more out of the next relationship than he did the first simple because of what he has been through.  I think the same is true for me and anyone else that has walked in our shoes.  Words just don’t do any justice to explain the intense hurt and agony you feel.  This isn’t a gay thing it’s a human thing and it applies to anyone who has lost a spouse gay, straight or otherwise.  I think animals have the same feeling.  I wish that we only knew pleasure and that there was no pain, sadness or anger - - the world would be a much better place.  Just think about it for a second. 

All of the cat kids are doing well.  Bear wanted to sleep with me last night so I drug him in my room.  Lazy Bear.  Marvin left as soon as he entered the room.  Suddenly life was all about drinking and scrounging for food.  He was in one of his moods and there is no changing that at the time.  You have to wait a few hours and then he will come crawling back.  I woke up in the middle of the night and that is exactly what happened.  Ah boys. 

So it’s back to school time of the year.  I have noticed an increase in traffic this week and have decided to continue to get a jump on things and wake up a little bit earlier.  So it’s like construction that was going on never ended.  Usually I wake up before the alarm or cats go off but not always.  Mostly the cats wake up before me and let me know it’s time to roll my lazy ass out of bed and serve them.  I hate mornings but they are so much nicer on the weekend when you realize, oh I can rollover and go back to bed.  The cats don’t like that but I sure do. 

Enjoy your weekend and have fun.  I am going to try to do the same, while acomplishing my usual set of chores.  What a challenge!

I couldn’t get the video to embed but here’s a link ….. https://vimeo.com/136233238

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