30 January 2016

Reflection

I am thankful that this past week is behind us. I hope that next week will be better and hey it’s a fresh start because not only will it be a new week but also a new month! This month HAS to be better than last month and I say that knowing that I have to go to the doctor next month for a physical and I am on call.

On my way to the post office today I had a moment of reflection. I was just in awe of myself that I am existing and subsisting on my own. I am living a fairly comfortable life. I was and am really proud of myself. I think that I have done a great job in living up to my last promise to my late partner, that was to make him proud of me every day. By no means has life been anything close to a cake walk for me, but no matter the challenge or obstacle in my way I find a way to overcome it and keep on moving.

So with the big issue that I am presently facing, I found out that matters like this do in fact take time to settle. I am NOT going to get a lot if any answers to the questions that I have. The fact that nothing has happened thus far, is very good. There is a lot of truth to the theory that no news is good news. I still am doing a lot of praying!

I am mulling over cutting ties with my family.  They have caused me nothing but stress, worry and trouble.  More often than not they get my blood pressure up.  I know that disagreements happen and are apart of life.  I think the last event that took place was my wakeup call and that if I don’t walk away some how, some way, something bad will happen to me.  This is not a full time thought for me nor will it be an easy decision to make.  It will however be a decision that if I decide to walk away, it will have to be permenant and no matter how much I want to undo it, once it’s done it will be final forever.  That is why I am taking my time.  A big part of my decision will be made by how things turn out with the last event.  Once that is settled then I think it will be much easier to make a final deciison.

Thursday night I wasted away by talking with my mom. She’s on the kick about coming back to my house for a weekend. Yeah that isn’t going to happen. If anything and I do mean anything happened to her I am fairly confident that my brother would take legal action. I don’t want to risk it and besides that my time with her wouldn’t be enjoyable because I would be babysitting instead of hanging out. The cats would get under her feet when she was walking and down she would go. It’s just not a good idea. I understand her desire to get out of the place that she is in, but she knew full well what she was getting into and no one forced her hand. The best thing that happened to me on Thursday was the massage lady gave me 30 minutes for free. It was nice but my back is sore, still today and it’s Saturday.

Friday night I decided to pay bills and then I went on and did my taxes. They are all filed and I am done. I still think I made a mistake on my local state taxes, but if I did I know that it will be called to my attention. I say that because I broke even and that hasn’t happened for a few years. I am getting a nice refund, which I look forward to. However, it’s NOT my money. It’s going to my credit card company to pay for the large expense I had this month. I am happy that I will be able to relax a little bit with regards to credit cards and my debt. However, it would have been nice to be able to bank that money and watch it grow. It could have gone for a lot of different things, one of which could have been a small down payment on a new car. I am rather upset that doing a kind deed has cost me so much. I went to bed late and the girls were after me, they even sent Marvin down. That’s when I knew they were serious about going to bed. So I complied and went to bed.

Saturday started out with me sleeping in, having strange dreams. Getting up around 8, having breakfast and feeding them. Then lounging around and figuring out what I was going to do today. I accomplish everything except for going to the movies. I want to see Dirty Grandpa and only because of Zac Effron, I can’t help it he’s so hot. By the time the afternoon rolled around and it was time to hit up the movie I wasn’t feeling well. I am not sure if it’s allergies or if I am getting sick. I have a lot of drainage in my throat and I have been blowing my noise all afternoon. I have taken medicine for it but thus far nothing has helped. That is not a good sign in my book but I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I did go to Sam’s to get printer ink, soda, Kleenex and I looked for the lasagna a friend told me about but they didn’t have any. I wasn’t happy about that. I also made it to Petco and got cat wipes that deodorize so hopefully they will help. I ordered more online from Amazon because I never knew that cat wipes were a thing, just like cat diapers. We’re not quite to the diaper stage yet but if things don’t get better soon we will be giving them a try. I did get a couple naps and play on the computer. I have started laundry. I will be watching more TV. I have the desire to eat to help my throat. I had 2 cans of chicken noodle soup and a lot of gelato but they only helped temporarily. Not sure what if anything that I will try next. I have been guzzling water. I am wondering if the massage had anything to do with it. Just like last time it’s 2 days later and I don’t feel well. I did drink water but usually if I don’t drink enough I know about it the very next day. I felt fine yesterday. Very odd.

That’s the update on my exciting life. I hope and pray every day for something good to happen, I think that is far better than going at it with the approach wondering what crap is going to hit the fan today.

In other news Charlie Puth’s debut album is out and Yanni released a new album as well. Both you can find on YouTube or if you listen to Spotify Charlie’s album is there. I am not happy that both of them have North American Tours now and neither one is coming to my area. If I want to go to see them I have to travel and I can already tell you that won’t be happening. Ah well so be it. I just hope that someday they both come back to my area. I had a great time last year at Charlie’s concert and it was quite an accomplishment for me to go to an event like that on my own.

Now I am going to finish up laundry and think about what I can fix to eat. Sunday fun day tomorrow…. Going to eat breakfast out and then to the grocery store. Followed by cleaning the house and getting ready for Monday. Hope that your all having a great weekend. Talk with you again soon. Thanks for stopping by.

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