Feels like I have been caged for several days. I know this doesn’t sound right but I am so ready to go back to work. I don’t know I will ever manage retirement, presuming I live long enough to be able to take the privilege.
Talked with my friend last night. His son made it in so that makes me feel a little bit better. He was telling me how they weren’t able to put shoes on his wife. He left her feet covered and by the time they picked up the body it was too late. I suppose rigor set in and there was no straightening the feet. That really upset him he wanted her to have shoes. I told him your doing everything she wanted, leaving her shoes off is a minor detail and I know she would understand. I wanted to tell him that she is gone all that is left is the shell or the body she occupied.
Just before it was time to get ready to head to the doctor I saw a post on Facebook from my friend and how he lost the love of his life. Thinking of how to respond just brought me to tears. I know his pain all too well and share his sentiment that there is a hole in his heart that will never be filled. He’s right no one can take her place. However, time will help ease the pain. I told him to think of the fond memories that too will help. This really has torn me up, more than I thought it would. I can’t imagine how I am going to hold it together. The funeral it’s self is very short and sweet. Heard that were going to have Olive Garden afterwards. That sounds really good and probably is the best thing about this whole loss. I really wish that she hadn’t had to pass this way. I talked it over with my doctor today and he said that it sounds like she had way too much cancer and the outcome for these types of patients is always dismal. I still am of the opinion that if she would have gotten some form of treatment sooner the outcome may be different, who knows it might have bought her a couple extra months.
So I took the car in this morning. New problem. If I remote start the car and then get in, the rear defroster doesn’t work. I noticed this before but proved it the other day and decided while it was in the shop might as well mention it. Makes me wonder what else I am going to find. I am serious that if something goes wrong once I get it back, I will be talking with an attorney. I am not announcing it to the dealer because it will come off as a threat and confrontational but I am pretty well at the last straw with this bucket of bolts. They gave me a loner so there was no waiting. I have an Escape oddly in Blue, exactly what I wanted in the first place. Way less features than what is on my car and it sucks gas but there is plenty of get up and go. It drives much better than my car and I sit higher, both of which I like. The thing has been ridden hard and put away wet, as all loaner or rental vehicles are. They have an huge Applica over the back window and it makes it really difficult to see out the back. I’d like nothing more than to rip it off but I won’t. Took it to the doctor and wasn’t terribly happy about that but it was okay. I got a call when I got back home that they ordered the wrong part and it won’t program. They are getting the correct part overnighted. They also have a call into Engineering about the defroster issue. They need to keep it so I get the rental to drive to work tomorrow. Won’t that just be fun. Plus if it’s done I will have to leave early to go fetch it.
My work week is really going to be altered. Potentially leaving early on Tuesday. Leaving early for sure on Wednesday for the visitation and off all day on Thursday. Then back on Friday and by then I will be ready for a vacation. Thankfully the weekend will be right there in time to help me. I sent a note to my boss already about the visitation and funeral. Sent him another note tonight about potentially leaving early tomorrow. The old me would just stay home and honestly if I hadn’t been at home for 4 days already I would but I am ready to get the fuck out of the house. I love the cats very much and enjoy spending time with them but there isn’t anything to watch all I am doing is eating junk food, surfing the net and mostly sleeping the day away. I need to get back to some form of normal regardless of how much I will bitch along the way, I’ll go kicking and screaming but once I am around the people in the office I think I will feel much better.
I’ve mentioned my arm pain before, well today I talked it over with the doc. He said I have bicep tendonitis. Not exactly sure how I got this but I am ready to get rid of it. I will be starting a large dose of steroids, nothing that I haven’t taken before. However, it will make me live in the bathroom, crave water, have hot flashes and potentially cause anxiety. It goes for a couple weeks and that should take care of the inflammation and give it time to heal. I did some surfing on the subject and it looks like ice is a really good friend plus there are exercises to do. I’ll try the ice tonight. Lifting Bear doesn’t help things any but he lives to be by myside as much as he can. I could start the medicine tonight but I really want a good nights sleep before I head back to work.
Didn’t realize it but our new President takes office on Friday. Holy shit that is so scary. I watched a PBS special on Frontline about him. Turns out this whole run for president thing was a way to get back at Obama and Trump never expected to win. Let’s just hope he can pull it all together and not fuck up our great country.
Marvin is on my mind a lot more now than in days past. He hasn’t slept with me for days. The closest we got to that was when I took a nap this morning and he laid down between my legs when I was on the couch. It was really nice and I stayed as still as possible so that he would stay put. He has had runny stool and I think he might be in some pain, although he hides it very well. Rather than rushing to the vet and having them fuck me out of more money, I decided to try some different dry food for him. Thus far he loves it. It costs about as much as the prescription stuff I get for his brother. My hope is that it will be easier for him to digest and won’t upset his system quite as much if at all. If this doesn’t do the trick then he will have to see a vet. He’s lost a considerable amount of weight and I really think he is diabetic. He is himself as much as possible, at least around me. I also see him hanging around his brother a lot. Which is good, they always were close but he seems to prefer his brother over me, which wasn’t so. When I say bed time he is usually in my bed already and I have to get the girls to leave so we can hunker down for the night. Now he stays for a little bit and then wants out. I hope he isn’t suffering and there isn’t something more serious wrong with him than what I think. I know that if there is a problem and it’s left untreated it won’t get better on it’s own. Let’s hope the new food does the trick. I’d much rather pay a food bill than a vet bill.
So I’ve accomplished most of the things that I wanted to do in the time I was off. I took my time getting them all done but feel pretty good. The only thing that is lacking is my porn surfing and I am going to take an hour and get caught up. Then it will be upstairs to spend time with Bear and company as we bring a close to my last day of rest. Started watching Mulligans (movie) with Charlie David. Damn he is so hot. I already know how the movie ends because I have seen it before but damn there is really nothing on so I have to watch movies a 2nd or 3rd time. Saw Eating Out 2 – Sloppy Seconds again this morning. All that did was make me uber horny and my sex drive has been lacking a bit.
Temps have warmed up but all it’s doing is raining here. Plus there is fog everywhere you look. Lots of rain in the forecast, which sucks. I hate driving in the rain because everyone wants to do 2 mph and it takes forever to get anywhere, plus the accident count goes way up. Ah well I guess it can always be worse. Thankfully from what I see no inclement weather or deep freeze this week. That will be nice.
Stay safe and be well. I’ll talk with you again soon.