08 January 2017

Saying Goodbye

Today I did something that I really didn’t want to do, but figured that it would help in the long run.  I called my friend who is dying and said goodbye to her.  I kept it all together until we got close to the end of the call and that is when I began to loose it.  I let go after we hung up.  She seems at peace with things and kept telling me that it wouldn’t be long and this would all be over with.  I expressed the fact that I was not happy about her decision but that I understood.  I acknowledged that she has been through quite an ordeal since September.  I told her that while her suffering would be over with, it would be hard for those of us she is leaving behind.  She said that she would be around.  She asked me to take care of her husband and make sure that he gets out. 

I didn’t want to make the call in the first place because I knew that it would have an adverse affect on me.  Secondly I didn’t know what I was going to say.  However, like most awkward situations in life it worked it’s self out and I just kept walking … left, right, left.  Just like the Charlie Puth song. 

Now the harder part is waiting to get the phone call to hear that she has passed.  I heard all of the details of the funeral last night.  She told me that everything she needs to do is done.  I guess when she said it wouldn’t be long I think she feels that she is slipping away.  I think this is going to be a gruesome death and that she will suffer some, but hopefully she can get enough Morphine in her system that it will make her numb.  She is clearly of sound mind so this is her decision and I think that she is well past the point of no return, so even if she didn’t want to go there isn’t anything that medical science could offer her in the way of treatment or meaningful recovery.  I understand her decision I just don’t fully agree with it.  I guess I am selfish and want to keep her around.  No one wants to lose anyone but it’s a part of life that we all have to experience at one point or another. 

In other news, I woke up to hear Gator puking next to me in bed.  There are better wake up calls than to hear your cat yacking but I didn’t get one of them this morning.  I changed beds and she of course was more than ready to get up.  She was crowing like a Rooster but I ignored her and eventually she went away.  I got a couple more hours sleep and then got up.  Took care of the kids and then once I was dressed I shuffled off to Steak N Shake. 

Breakfast this morning was a burger, fries and a bowl of chili.  It was extra good.  Service sucked but one of their cute waiters was working.  He didn’t wait on me but I got to check him out which was nice.  He looks like a male model, kind of reminds me of Paul Vandervort in some respects.  Once I was done I hit up the grocery store, picked up a couple lottery tickets (just in case it’s my time to win) and then came home. 

It’s cold outside but warmer weather is one the way in a couple days this will be a distant memory but there is more cold to come and I think even some snow on Friday.  Might be an interesting commute to and/or from work depending upon what Mother Nature has in store for us. 

Groceries were all put away.  I decided to finish a movie that I started earlier this morning.  Did that and took in an episode of Queer As Folk.  Then decided it was time to rest.  Rather than disturb anyone I retreated back to my room where I was falling asleep in my chair.  Gator of course decided she had to help me.  She came in with her long claws and began kneading my chest.  It’s all marked up.  I got her to calm down and she settled down by my leg.  We both eventually fell asleep.  Me with my hand on her and her laying close by my body.  What a girl.  She is a huge pain in the ass at times and other times she is the sweetest thing on the earth. 

Put some air in my tires, they were a few pounds off.  Better safe than sorry.  Not sure why but these tires seem to lose air much more frequently than any I have owned before.  I know that speed has an effect on them and I have a led foot so it’s kind of a bad match.  So long as I keep my eye on them I think we will be okay at least for a while.  Replacing them when the time comes won’t be cheap.  Finished up laundry, burned a candle and my allergies have started up.  Got my shower and shave.  Had supper.  Managed my iPhone by adding and removing some music.  I even have my lunch packed. 

I got something new at the store.  It was a large sandwich of Ranch Chicken Salad.  It’s Chicken Salad mixed with Ranch Dressing.  I had a small nibble and it’s a little spicy but good.  I cut the sandwich in 1/2 so 2 days for $5 which isn’t that bad.  Then I got a larger sub sandwich and cut it down for the other 3 days in the week.  I’ll be eating good this week. 

Nothing on TV really, but I am going to surf to see what I can find and spend some time with the kids before I have to wind down and get ready for bed.  Then we get started with a 5 day work week that I haven’t done for 2 weeks and it will be hard but the reward at the end of the rainbow is that next Monday I will be off.  I have to get the car worked on and see my doctor, both not fun but I’ll manage to make it enjoyable somehow.  Then when I go back on Tuesday the 17th I’ll be on call, gee just what I wanted.  It will also be server patching week and that means early to rise on Sunday.  Seems that I am going to be stuck with this, all because of one minor change I made last year.  I’d love to get rid of the server patching. 

Hope you had an enjoyable and warm Sunday.  Hope that the week ahead is great for all of us and that we will all experience some form of goodness this week.  Hang on the ride is about to start up again. 

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