02 February 2017

Momma back to normal

I am pleased to report that my momma (aka Lucky) is back to normal.  I came home last night and she couldn’t get enough food.  The same thing applied this morning.  So her appetite is back and stronger than before.  She is keeping it all down and taking her medicine, so I think were good.  Not sure what went wrong but with cats sometimes you never know.  They get sick, need a bit of rest and then it’s like nothing ever happened.  I tend to panic and worry because well that is what I do best.  I am so happy that she is back to normal!!

I stopped to pick up my pen last night, then grabbed the packages off the porch.  All I wanted to do was get inside and see my girl.  Once that fell into place then I was able to think about my supper and getting packages open. 

One of the many things I got from Amazon was something called a Clik Belt, it claims to be the strongest belt in the world.  The problem is that you have to attach the buckle each and every time you threat the belt into a new pair of pants.  I can’t get the belt to stay tight so I gave up and have sent it back this morning.  I am not keen on returning anything but this was like $50 so well worth my effort.  I also got some Pecan Melt away cookies by David.  They are okay but Archway does a much better job and they are much less expensive.  I don’t see what all of the fuss was about.  Kind of wish I would have ordered the brownies instead, they look much better.  I’ll eat the cookies but it won’t change my opinion. 

Placed an order for more Bear food this morning.  He’ll be so happy.  I feel like I should dump part of the bag in the trash because that is where it’s going to land.  He loves to make a mess and I am forever stepping on pellets of dry cat food.  Not bad when you have shoes on but when you don’t it fucking hurts.  Both of the boys are mess makers, I know they didn’t get that trait from their momma. 

So I came to realize that I am in love with a guy at work.  Yeah it’s a physical attraction thing.  I can’t stop myself from thinking about him and it didn’t help that I saw him yesterday.  That ass wow it’s luscious.  We used to be friends but he only wanted to be co-workers.  I think that my feelings for him is why that hurt me so much, not to mention I made an investment in telling him my life story.  I don’t just open up to everyone, it takes a bit.  He is the type of person that will talk to you during the work day but if it’s after hours or on the weekend, all bets are off.  He is also married and has kids.  I think that he has some feelings for guys but that it’s suppressed.  Man I just think about all of the things I want to do to him and how good it would feel.  I know that my body could make his body feel oh so good if he gave me a chance.  However, I am big on monogamy and it’s not right to steal another persons mate, despite the fact that I want to.  I could settle for some naked photos but there is no way in hell that I have the courage to ask for them and I don’t think he would offer them up even if I did ask.  Since he is a co-worker I really have to keep myself in check because if even the slightest action on my part is offensive to him I can find myself in hot water.  He’s not worth my job because my job is everything.  Love, lust whatever you want to call it, I wish it came with a switch that you could toggle off.  I know that would have saved a lot of people from a lot of foolish things.  Just keeping my hands to myself when I am around him is a small chore.  I’ve been dealing with these feelings for a while.  I remember when I told him that I liked him and he was flattered, then I joked but wasn’t joking about getting it on at work.  He made it clear that wouldn’t happen joke or not.  Dealing with this is not the easiest thing in the world.  I know that he is looking for another job and if he is successful in finding something and leaves well then he too will just be a memory.  I guess I should hope for that and the fact that I can keep myself in check.

Ah now on to my pen.  I watched a YouTube video on it and got some pointers ahead of time.  The person doing the review said that it was his favorite pen.  He went to a party and decided to pass his pens around so that others could write with them.  When he got his Vanishing Point back it wouldn’t work at all.  The thought of letting someone else use my pens is offensive and makes me shudder.  I’ve done it before but only supervised and for a short period of time.  I can’t say that I have ever let one of my fountain pens in a strangers hand before.  Surprisingly fountain pens adapt to the writer and they get used to your style of writing from your grip, to the motion of your hand and the force or weight you put in.  This pen required a little effort to get it primed but once it was working and the ink was flowing it was like writing with butter.  I am pleased with my purchase so much so that I wanted to bring it to work and use it here but decided against it due to the cost.  I’ve brought my Mont Blanc Rollerball to work but it comes home with me at night and doesn’t stay unattended at all.  Lots of folks here have the pen fever or fetish but they are much more trusting than I am.  A fine writing instrument is like gold to me and I guard mine closely. 

Sent out some money to pay off one credit card and to pay off this months balance with another.  I could have gone hog wild but decided to be more conservative and hold on to some of my refund.  Got the bill today for the post office box, it’s actually not terrible for 6 months, so I will be paying that.  I am comfortable based on my earnings, but just can’t go hog wild like I want to.  I’ve got 1 card that has 0 percent on it and I am paying a high amount each month to get it paid off as soon as the 0 percent offer expires later this year.  I don’t use that card for anything.  Once it’s paid off that will free up some serious cash for me and I will be able to breathe a little better.  For now I just operate being conservative as possible, life is not cheap and having enough money to pay all my bills gives me is a great sense of satisfaction and pride.  I don’t want to lose that.  Being overloaded with credit card debt is not fun and can really beat you down.  I learned from my past mistakes and hope not to repeat them.

Finally it’s time for rub a dub on my back today.  Looking forward to that in a bit and hope that we can do face down like last time.  It’s great and gives my back the attention it needs and deserves.  Last time I was coming off of steroids so the swelling afterwards wasn’t horrible.  This time I will probably have some serious swelling afterwards.  Most of what she does is deep tissue, which is nice but I would like a nice relaxing massage once and a while.  I might not get any physical benefit from it but the feeling at the moment would be good enough for me.  I am getting sleepy so that could prove to be a problem and who knows I might just dose off. 

One more day until Friday.  No departures so I should be able to leave on time.  As always I have the debate about what I should do for supper.  I’ve got plenty of frozen food but really am tired of eating it.  I have gotten fast food over the past few weeks on Fridays as a reward.  Not it’s as if it’s a requirement.  Does make it easier to eat but I know it’s not any better for my body.  It does taste better though.  I’m sure it will all work out one way or another. 

Stay safe, be well and stay warm!  Talk with you all again soon.

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