27 May 2013


Friday… Went out to lunch w/ an old co-worker.  Got off work early.  Grabbed the mail, got a hair cut, went home ate my lunch.  Then dashed off to the movies to see Mr. Paul Walker in Fast & Furious 6.  Totally awesome movie!  Came home stayed up way too late.  Wrote a letter to the attorney who is supposed to help me handle the appeal, gave him enough money for 1 hour worth of work, to show good faith.  Enclosed all of the documentation he could possibly need and told him that I didn’t see the need for a face to face but am not apposed to it if it was something he required.  It was early Saturday morning when I retired.

Saturday… Kind of a busy day.  Low on energy and ready for relaxation.  I think I napped a bit and watched some TV with the kids.  I went out for a massage in the morning, that turned out to be a bust.  They started late then tried to rope me in to a package that cost $54 per month.  I declined and paid my money.  Talked with a friend that was supposed to come over to help me and moved that to Sunday.  I got the slide show ready for next Saturday, I cried watching it, but it looks really good.  Fuck I miss him something crazy!  Later on Saturday I met with some friends for supper at Maggianos.  I of course hadn’t been there since Thanksgiving.  Felt strange but familiar.  We sat in a booth where me and my guy sat a few years back when it was just the two of us for Thanksgiving, that was really strange.  I kind of wished we would have went to a different table but we have been there a lot so seating me to a place that we never sat before would have been a slight challenge for them.  Enjoyed some amazing food.  I really delighted my friends by suggesting that place.  They drank way too much wine and we all ate way too much food.  Plus I had stuff to take home, which was nice!  Stopped for gas, then came home.  Took care of the children and called it a night.  Stayed up and watched Varsity Blues.  I caught part of it on cable and what can I say I have a think for James Vander Beek.  Then I found some other movie he was in Rules of Attraction.  That was just weird.  Passed out eventually and went to sleep.

Sunday… Went to Cracker Barrel for Breakfast.  Saw the cute hostess guy.  Had some okay food, paid way too much for it and left.  Then headed to pick up my friend.  We made a day of it.  Talked a little bit, then we came back here.  He started doing what I did when we tried to determine what we had to get rid of.  He was picking shit up and handing it to me or setting it in a new place.  Basically we made a bigger mess out of what is a huge mess already.  Found some good stuff.  I am going to try to get some of it ready to sell at the flea market event here in a couple weeks.  I don’t have much time, so I will have to be quick to research and determine how much money I want.  What doesn’t sell, well I have a good camera now so I think I will try my hand at eBay.  If it works out, great and if not his club will be having an Auction that I can try for later in the year.  I don’t have to move everything at once, but the quicker I can part with some of this stuff, the quicker I can not only make money but have more room in his office and try to get it to a decent clean state.  We left here about 1 and went to Mexican Country.  I was hungry and for the first time in my life I ate authentic Mexican Food.  It’s good but damn, it’s hot.  The place didn’t have ice cream so my mouth was on fire, but eventually that passed.  I drank about a 2 liter of Diet Pepsi.  Dropped my friend off at his place, sat and talked.  Then mustered up the energy to head to Sam’s club.  I found quite a deal on Litter what usually costs me $16 I got for $13, so I will be going back for more.  Got several things that I needed and dropped $175, then filled up the tank and dropped another $30.  Headed for home and I didn’t buy any food items.  Damn!  Hung around the house for the remainder of the day, relaxed and was lazy.  Continued watching that movie with James Vander Beek.  Eventually passed out for the night.

Monday… The first Monday that hasn’t sucked in a long time!  I had some strange dreams and slept in a bit.  Fed the children and headed to breakfast.  Against my will I went to IHOP had some good food.  Left there headed to the grocery store.  Spent $77 didn’t get a whole lot, but have enough to make it for the week.  Came home, unloaded and put away everything.  Then started my mega cleaning spree.  Mopped the bathroom and kitchen floors.  Cleaned my bathroom, looks really nice.  Hasn’t looked that good since the day we moved in.  Took out the trash.  Vacuumed most placed.  Couldn’t do my room because the kids were hiding in there.  Got the rest of the house.  Figured out that Blu peed on the now empty coffee table.  Cleaned that up and told him once again that I wanted to kill him, but that I wouldn’t.  Watched The Paperboy with Zac Effron in it.  Hot scenes of him walking and dancing in his underwear.  That kid is so hot!  I had every intention of taking a nap but Zac kept me interested and awake.  Did dishes and lots of laundry.  All my stuff.  It’s still going but I am finally winding down, thank God.  I had left overs from Maggiano’s along with some 6 Cheese Garlic Bread I picked up at the store.  I also had left over desert and it was all good.  Yes I skipped a meal in there but it won’t kill me.

I’ve managed to get through balancing bank accounts and every penny has been accounted for.  Thus far I have spent $2,000 of the life insurance money.  That was just to get me out of credit card debt.  So all in all things don’t look terrible but they could always be better. 

It’s been a couple days since I have done any self pleasuring and I am really turned on.  I shaved part of my chest which helped spice me up.  Plus shaved my face.  I now look presentable to go back to work, crap. 

Just fed the children there evening snack.  They will cajole more food out of me before the night is over with.  It’s humid in here.  I turned the AC up because it was in psyco mode again and I am starting to sweat.  Once I go upstairs in a couple hours, I will kick it back down to get some cooling going on.  Plus all of the lights will be off, which will help.  The sad part is that it will be closer to going back to work.  I could live on a holiday for quite sometime with no complaints.  The world just seems okay right now.

I still have my moments and getting rid of his stuff won’t be easy.  Plus attending this dinner/memorial service/life celebration thing won’t be easy.  I do hope I laugh a lot more than I cry.  I want a hug from him, I want to be able to lean on him and just have time alone away from the world with him.  Most of all I want him to be well again.  However, sadly none of those things will happen.  I have determined that I am not ready to move on yet, but having a sex partner would probably help me out some.  Also having a therapist probably isn’t a bad idea.  I am not looking for either right now. 

This has been a very productive weekend and I accomplished what I wanted to, plus a little more.  I spent way too much money but it’s not like I can hold on to $ for ever. 

On the work front, all of the hardware that I ordered last week should arrive tomorrow.  I will be one busy guy.  I played with one of the tablets on Friday.  Windows 8 isn’t that bad but you have to know what your doing.  Doesn’t mean I still didn’t want to smash it with a hammer but the more I know and work with it, the more I am getting used to it.  Figuring out all of the quirks and how to personalize the machine enough to make it meet corporate demands and preventing anyone from turning it into a work/personal tablet will be quite the challenge.  However, I am hoping that some software I bought will be able to help me with that task.  Getting everything deployed will be a little bit of a challenge as well.  However, I will manage somehow.  I can’t say that it will all come together this week but I hope I am on my way before the end of the week.  I shouldn’t have to travel, it’s just getting everything ready and then ship them.  If there are problems they can call me.  Otherwise, it’s just power it up and go.  I also know that I have 3 sites that need wireless, that will be more money and time out of the office, but they are all local.  There is the possibility that the one place that is about 90 miles away will require a night or two to stay in town.  I don’t plan on driving 90 miles each way for 3 or 5 days in a row.  If I am lucky and can get it all done in two days I should be in good shape, otherwise I will have to ask a friend for help with the cats.  That is something that I am also trying to avoid.

Need to get this published, make some changes on the blog template and of course publish my backlog of comments.  Then it’s on to other fun things before I call it a night.  I’d like to relax for about an hour or two if possible before calling it a night but we shall see.  Too bad there aren’t more 3 days weekends around the corner. 

The next holiday for us is Independence Day otherwise known as the 4th of July.  Not that far off.

Oh I almost forgot, the guy I asked on a date.  He got back to me again and said to look him up next month.  See what I was trying to do is make him the one that pursued me instead of the other way around.  Based on the words and that feeling, I think this is one of those friendships that will just not happen.  Unless he looks me up.  The vibe I am getting says leave me alone, so that is what I am going to do.

Talk with you peeps later.  Don’t do anything that you can’t talk your way out of!

1 comment:

Jude said...

Wow you've been BUSY! I know what you mean, I wish every week was a paid holiday! Guess what that really means is I want to be retired, LOL

I know you miss your hubby so much, and you can expect some tears and some laughs at the memorial.

Good luck with stuff at work, I hope you won't need to be away from home long!