05 May 2013

Late Night

So it’s a bit of a late night for me.  I had to stay up to get work done.  Not work as in my job but work as in stuff around the house.  Today (Saturday) wasn’t too bad of a day, despite being the one month mark since my guy passed.  I wasn’t extra depressed, didn’t cry – pretty much a business as usual ordinary Saturday.

I talked with the clergy member on Friday.  We started at 6pm and before I knew it, the time was 9pm.  We both needed to get home.  I didn’t have supper and I knew the kids would be mad at me.  So I just came home and fed them.  I got ready for bed and called it a day.

Woke up in the middle of the night again, watched TV.  I got the idea an orgasm would make me tired.  So I put on some porn and then just about when I was all set for the moment of joy I got a Charlie Horse.  Not one time but two times in a row.  I know this is TMI but I really had to work at it and then finally I was happy and tired.  Back to bed!

I woke up again later in the morning, fed the kids, got breakfast at home and caught a shower.  Off to the dentist.  I had some pain last week when I was traveling.  I just associated it with sinus and the fact that I was using a different tooth brush.  The dentist has new technology and was able to x-ray and display the x-ray on a computer.  That gave her the ability to zoom in.  She doesn’t think there is anything to worry about, but she is sending it off for a 2nd opinion.  I might have an abscess, which would require a root canal.  It can be done in one visit but I have to go to an Oral Surgeon.  Right now no pain, since I have been brushing with Sensodyne Toothpaste.  Unless it bothers me I don’t see the need to do anything abscess or not.  I also would think that with an abscess I would know it was there, because it would be hurting all the time and there would be swelling in my face.  Of which it isn’t and there is none.

There was a boy in the waiting room at the Dentist, all I know is his name was Dillon.  He was eyeing me and I was eyeing him.  He was cute!  He was there with his mom and brother.  Way too young for me, I don’t even think he was a legal (18).  Still looking isn’t a crime, it’s touching or acting that are crimes.  Kind of nice to flirt a little bit, even if silently.

After the dentist, I went to a Mexican Restaurant I swore off years ago that I would never go back to.  I’ve been craving really good Mexican and decided to give them a try.  The food is still crap, so no going back there unless I am just plain desperate.  I noticed one of the steak houses my guy liked closed up.  Kind of sad.

Then it was off to the bank to make a deposit.  Then to AT&T to purchase a new Bluetooth Headset, because the one I was using (that I originally purchased for my guy) broke on Thursday from just being in my pocket.  I got something much more durable and got it at a 20% discount (thanks to my guys former employer).  Then I came home.  Just as I got out of my car I realized I forgot to go to Walgreens.  Damn, memory is all messed up with the stress I have been under.

I came in, fed the children.  Unboxed the headset, which was a challenge in its self.  Then put it on the charger.  Took a nap.  When I woke up I went to Walgreens.  Came home, fed the children again.  Started cleaning my guys office.  While I didn’t get done, I did make some headway.  The room is slowly getting to where it needs to be.  It will take much more time, because he saved every damn thing.  I ‘ve got a box going of stuff to shred and it’s pretty large.  I found some nude photos of guys he downloaded and printed out.  Thank God I didn’t have any help in going through stuff.  That would have been just a tad awkward.  Very soon into this I found what I was looking for, a pen that I had given him.  He stored it away, I know he wrote with it a little bit at first but he liked another pen that I gave him much more so this was I guess a backup in his eyes.  Still since it was personalized (engraved) I was eager to find it.  It tells him that I love him.  It’s cherry red and I just can’t help but think of him when I see it.  One of his many possessions that I will cherish all of my life. 

I found his mom’s death certificate, gold earrings and a gaudy ring that he wore.  Plus her High School Diploma.  It really means nothing to me, but I am hanging on to it for now.  The earrings I can clean up and see if they are real, if so sell them for scrap.  If not then give them away.  The ring is costume jewelry and that is pretty much just scrap – I don’t think it’s worth any money and with the shape its in I will probably throw it away.

There were several interesting finds.  When we went on our last vacation about 3 to 4 years ago, shortly before things turned sour and I lost my job.  We made a sex tape.  Yes, really.  There are multiple copies floating around the house and I have to make sure I round them all up.  He is shirtless and you can tell he just doesn’t feel good.  I’m the naked one.  I was really against making this, because if it was lost or fell into the wrong hands it would be embarrassing not to mention other ramifications it would have.  I mean like I couldn’t run for President.  Anyway, I’ve watched it and it’s a little hot but I am more interested in seeing him. 

One of the other things I found was a photo that he framed of him and another guy at work.  They were both caught sleeping right after lunch.  Some humor to look at the photo.  I remember there was a story to this but can’t remember the story, it’s been too long ago.  Nice to find those special things. 

Since I have a feeling there will be many things that I treasure of his, it’s a good thing that I still have 2 rooms to store it all in. 

I was very surprised to find a pre-paid AT&T Calling card.  I called and sure enough there is a balance on the card.  I’ve got one of these myself and you can combine the two cards into one.  However, I don’t know where mine is at.  I’ve been tearing things up left and right to find it.  I’ve got one more place to look and I really think it’s there.  I’ve got it setup as pinless, so I dial from my home phone and then can make LD calls.  However, I am finding that I am using my cell phone more and more. 

I got up the nerve to trap Shy Girl to trim her claws.  The little bitch bit me.  Thankfully she didn’t break the skin.  I guess since he passed away she must think I am going to kill her now.  She didn’t want anything to do with me and it was worse than normal.  Something felt very different.  However, I acomplished my mission and both front paws claws were trimmed.  Plus I brushed her to get some of the fur off of her.  She is truly a walking fur coat.  I could brush her for an hour and there would still be work to do.  She doesn’t seem to shed like the others.  However, with each nail trim comes a brushing, which I know she enjoys.  Might as well bring pain & pleasure together.  Maybe in 6 more weeks things will go smoother, but I am not counting on it. 

All of the children are in bed sleeping and I am the only one up.  It’s 12:36 so instead of babbling I guess it’s time to call it a night.  I will talk with you peeps later.  More work awaits tomorrow.  Shopping, laundry and cleaning.  I am tired just thinking about it. 

1 comment:

Jude said...

It's nice that you are finding some things of his to hang onto as keepsakes, and I'm really glad you finally found that pen. :-)

Poor Shy Girl, if only she understood you are only trying to help her.

It's hard to believe it's been a month already, it's like yesterday yet so long ago.

I hope you get some rest today my friend!