Big Boy

The mystery is solved.  Last night I caught Big Boy going in the general area where I had already cleaned.  He was laying down and grunting all the while urine was soaking the carpet.  I yelled at him but it was as if I was talking to the wall. 

I cleaned the mess up right away.  Not all that happy with him, he had retreated to my room.  He needed a wipe down, which he always enjoys.  Then he came to claim some belly rubbing. 

Seeing this behavior makes me wonder if it’s time to part ways.  While I don’t want to, if he is too uncomfortable to use the litter box for urine then I think have to seriously consider it.

Thinking that it might help things I moved the litter box to the area where he went.  I hope that it will help him.  I know using the litter box is a big deal for him but I honestly don’t know of an alternative. 

Thinking about the whole thing just makes me sick – physically and emotionally. 

I did manage to get out of bed, get a shower and get dressed.  I visited the Post Office and got the junk mail.  There were storms in the area so I elected to come back home. 

I called my Health Insurance Company and turns out the person I am seeing for counseling is covered.  I just have to get her to acquire a pre-authorization and then we are set.  I get 20 visit for no cost.  I’m kind of digging that.  I got back to see her tomorrow.

I need to visit the grocery store but will probably push that off until tomorrow.  Although I did think about going today. 

Did some research and found that I actually make $35 too much to qualify for food stamps, which is why the application was denied. 

Today would have been a pay day from my former employer and I was hoping they would issue payment for my vacation.  However, they have not.  I suppose it’s something I am going to have to forego.  I mean I could go through small claims court to try to recover it but that will cost me a small fortune, so easier to just let it be.  It sucks that I have no legal recourse and that they made me more than 1 empty promise.  However, it is what it is.

I called about the Steam Cleaner and turns out the 3 year warranty doesn’t extend to the bladder, which is the part I need.  I think I got a sales person instead of a customer service person.  I placed an order because I need it.  But I am writing the company and I anticipate they will refund my money.  The way I read the warranty everything is covered for 3 years, unless you abuse or misuse the equipment, which clearly isn’t the case here.  The lady told me don’t use vinegar in your machine, only use our products and by the way we are having a sale would you like to buy some cleaning solution.  Uh, no I want the bladder and didn’t plan on paying for it. 

Today has really been a Munday!  I applied for a position that I was overly qualified for and got a phone call from a recruiter within minutes.  He tells me oh we have someone coming into interview on Friday and she is going to get the job.  However, we have another position that sounds like it might be more to your skill set.  We talked and it sounded okay, I’m waiting for an e-mail that details the job and he said he was going to try to get me a phone interview.  We shall see. 

I really want to be able to go after my former employer and while I try to think about how and where I might have a claim, I hear a voice saying concentrate your efforts on solving the bigger problem – meaning get a job.  I’m certainly doing my part but it doesn’t seem to be paying off just yet. 

Talk with you peeps later.

Holiday Road

The meal at my friends on the 4th was okay.  I saw them heat up the Pork N Beans so I had some.  Burgers and Brats for meat and they were both undercooked for me.  If there is pink it’s not done!  Taste was average nothing to brag about.  They also had Root Beer Floats for desert which was quite bloating, but good. 

I figured out where the smell in the house was coming from.  A spot where Big Boy went at least two times.  Someone apparently decided to renew the scent.  The bladder on the steam cleaner broke so I had to use the old cleaner and got things taken care of. 

Okay that was Friday.  Now on to Saturday I awoke to the smell of cat urine again.  Someone apparently doesn’t want me to clean up that spot.  I walked into the kitchen to feed them and stepped in a puddle.  I thought it was cat pee.  Nope the garbage disposer broke and there was a small flood in the kitchen.  Who knows how long it’s been building for. 

Needless to say I was not a happy person.  So I got things contained after feeding the monsters.  Then I had some breakfast and went back to bed.  It was a sleepless night and I have no idea why. 

When I woke up I went to Lowes and got a new disposer for $179.  They had lower priced models and that is the route I went before, some 5 to 7 years ago.  I upgraded in the hopes that this one will last a little longer.  Plus it’s quieter not that it matters, since I live alone. 

I am NOT a plumber.  I watched a couple of You Tube videos and figured things out.  My two main problems were lifting the new unit in place so that I could get it mounted.  I was shaking and had used up most of my strength.  Not to mention I had not had lunch and it was pretty late in the afternoon.  I started at around 2 and finally finished around 6pm.  There were considerable breaks and I had to go back out for some parts.  The other problem was getting the plumbing connected and a hose clamp in place.  There was quite the satisfaction feeling when I was done.  Now I have an old unit that I have no idea how to get rid of.  Last time we had to pay someone to install it because the plumbing was all messed up and it required major re-work.  I kind of which I would have called someone to save me the frustration but considering I did this for $199 with tax, I figured I saved at least that if not more by doing the labor myself.  A plumber would have marked up the part and labor, but it would have been done in less than an hour. 

This experience made me realize once again that I am getting older, I am out of shape and that if you set your mind to it, you can do it. 

My next task was to work on the cat urine.  I deep cleaned it again.  Bought some urine remover and put down two applications of that.  There still is some smell left because I think someone re-marked it but right now I am letting things dry out. 

When I was done my reward was watching The Hangover Part III again.  John Goodman gave quite the performance in that.  Then I watched a movie called Private Romeo.  It was a gay version of Romeo and Juliet, cast inside of a military school.  They were talking from the play but watching the performance made me very horny.  It was a good movie!

Today I awoke to find that my side and back are very sore.  My side is throbbing.  So much that I ate a little breakfast, watched TV.  Cancelled what plans I had for today and went back to bed to sleep through lunch.  I woke up in time for supper.  Fed the beggars and had me some left over Hamburger Helper, which I made a few days ago.  I added to much water but it’s actually okay.  Just a little soupy.  I am itching for Mexican food!

I have filed my unemployment claim for the week.  Need to take care of the litter boxes, and then going to sit in front of the TV and watch time pass me by.  Hopefully, I can find something good on TV.  I’ve got a pint of Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream that I think I will consume.  I will be up for a while but hopefully the time will pass quickly because I am ready to go back to sleep and hope that tomorrow is a better and more productive day.  Not to mention I need and want a shower.

Thus far no interviews scheduled.  My hope is that changes tomorrow.  I hope you had a good holiday and weekend.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Happy 4th of July

If your wondering who the HOT guy is, that would be Paul Vandervort.  Give him a Google, I would like to give him more but chances are high that will not happen.  He is a model, actor and producer/director.  I wish he were a porn star.  :)

Today I am going over to visit some friends and hopefully have a decent meal.  They love to open a can of Pork N Beans and eat them cold, which I think is gross.  So I will be avoiding them.  It will be a nice diversion from my daily routine and it will get me out of the house. 

Not much going on at all today.  The urine smell has returned to the living room.  I am at my wits end on how to get rid of the smell w/o getting rid of the cats and the furniture and the carpet.  It’s nauseating and of course it’s in one of the places that I like to hang out the most.  Best TV in the whole house and I can keep an eye on things in the front and back of the house.  Plus watch most of the children. 

I hope that you see fireworks today and enjoy the time away from work, to take a break and relax. 

Going down the tubes

I was doing okay when I woke up.  I got a shower and headed out to the post office.  I wanted to get the mail, get cat food and then go see a movie.  As soon as I got the mail my plans changed.  I was denied for Food Stamps because my household makes too much money.  Really?  I’m on unemployment.  Turns out from the on line tool I found out I make $10 too much per week to qualify.

The unemployment people sent me a letter and I have an interrogation with them on Thursday.  They will be calling me to see if I am still eligible to collect unemployment.  I’m thinking this will take the place of the reporting in every 4 weeks, which will actually be nice if that is the case.  I can deal with a phone call. 

I heard back from a recruiter who wants me to send her references, then she will set up a meeting with her boss and they will present me to a client.  As soon as I heard this it was a HUGE turn off.  It spells time waster to me, just based on past experience.

Last night I lit up the place with a black light.  It glowed like you wouldn’t believe.  If I was cleaning up blood instead of cat urine this would have been a crime scene.  The problem appeared to be solved.  Then I woke up this morning and the odor was back.  Big Boy went on a spot in the living room carpet and I was on top of cleaning it up but apparently it left behind some residual odor.  I got out the steam cleaner and I think the problems is solved.  The bladder on the cleaner broke, so I have to see if it’s covered by warranty or figure out how to purchase a replacement. 

I made Hamburger Helper and put in way too much water.  However, it was good.  Then relaxed for a bit and came down to see what jobs I could apply for.  I saw Big Boy on his back, which means he is totally comfortable.  Him and his brother love to fall asleep that way.  Anyway I bent down to touch his belly and that foul odor came back.  Big Boy needed a bath.  Luckily I have some waterless shampoo.  I used that on him and he smells much better, plus he actually enjoyed his bath. 

My therapist called today to say that she still has no news on billing and that I could be on the hook for the visits.  I am going to dig into this from my end.  I suspect I will have to pay a substantial amount, so unless I find out otherwise my plan is to make my next session my last.  Just settle up with her and call it a day. 

I don’t understand how I fall on hard times and I keep getting kicked.  How much is one person to take?  Ask for help and you run into more problems and even told no.  I’m telling you it won’t take too much more before I just check out, the hell with it all. 

Now up to watch Rookie Blue and hope that there is a hot and steamy sex scene with Gregory Smith in it.  While I enjoy a piece of carrot cake and feed the beggars. 

-Ciao

Bad Smell

I’ve noticed for a couple days the strong smell of cat urine in the living room.  I thought I had fixed it but it seems to keep coming back.  Thanks to Mr. BLU I am dealing with this.  Back when he was broken, he peed on anything and everything.  We tried constantly to keep the house clean but obviously you don’t see him every moment of every day.  I am glad I got him fixed.  One of the many places he went was in the air ducts.  Well that could be the problem.  I got that cleaned out and the smell is still back.  I’m waiting until darkness falls and then out comes the black light and it should help me figure out this mystery.  I really want to kill him because that smell is not only foul, it stirs up my allergies.  Everyone but me (the human) seems unaffected by it.  Cats, they are a lot of work! 

I had my phone interview this morning.  Things went very well and the lady I spoke with was down to earth, relaxed and empathized with me on my circumstances.  She told me that she was going to pass my application along to the hiring manager and that I should hear something from her next week.  They (the hiring managers) like to do their own phone interviews and then if they think you’re a fit, they will bring you in.  This is a great opportunity, pay is not an issue but it would be a little bit of a commute everyday.  All perfectly okay, this sounds like a great place to work based upon what I heard today.  I’ve got my fingers crossed. 

A few minutes after 2 the phone rang and it was the recruiter I was supposed to meet with.  She called but didn’t leave a message.  Waited a minute or two and called back, then left a message.  She wanted to know if I was on my way or if I needed to reschedule.  I didn’t talk to her and have no plans on returning her call.  She promised to send me her address and well I can’t go someplace that I don’t know where it is.  The bigger reason here is that this is a total time waster.  She will see me for 15 or 20 minutes and then I will never hear from her again.  Meanwhile I have driven 30 or 40 miles one way and wasted my time.  I see no reason to go any further with this.  I mean maybe I am looking at this all wrong but this has been my experience and I figure why waste my time.  Deal with the companies that are hiring directly.

Speaking of which that place that said I wasn’t a cultural fit.  Well one of their recruiters reached out to me on a social job network.  He said I would be a good fit for the position.  I took one look at him and figured he would be a good fit for me.  Man, so cute.  Anyway I wrote him and told him that I was already submitted and rejected.  I really wanted to work for them, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. 

I got me a good nap on today.  I woke up to the sound of a lawn mower.  I knew it was my neighbor and jerked my head up (a slight neck injury occurred from that) and headed to the window.  I expected to see a fit and trim young buck shirtless mowing the grass like last time.  Instead I saw a fat fuck in his moo moo mowing the lawn.  Holy crap talk about buzz kill.  Perhaps better luck next time, if I am here to see it.  Hopefully, I am not.  I’d rather be back at work.  I can find cute guys to look at on the computer.

I was all set to go see Melissa McCarthy’s new film but decided to delay that until tomorrow.  I just lounged around the house today, watching TV.  I dug into the movie collection and dug up 3 Day Weekend.  It’s a good gay film and helped to pass some of the time today.  I did little things and tried to get rid of that odor while the movie was on.  I found a toy that Big Boy was interested in, so we got to play a little bit today.  I never knew that he had it in him.  I always figured he was worn out and tired.  Who knew!

Yesterday I got a call from the Government about a complaint I submitted regarding my former employer.  Turns out what they always thought was illegal is perfectly legal and I really had no complaint.  I almost feel like telling them, but why should I be helpful.  I have also been thinking about exposing my old boss and the affair he is having with one of the office workers.  I would of course be telling his son.  Part of me says yeah, go for the gold and maybe get the bitch fired.  The rest of me says let things be and let her continue to bilk them.  If she does ever get fired, she has one hell of a sexual harassment claim and who knows what other kind of trouble she can stir up.  I would like to see them made miserable and the business crumble.  I mean it is total bullshit that I am sitting here unemployed.  It’s all because the lady my boss was screwing didn’t like me.  She got me fired and planted ideas in his head.  He of course is love struck and will do anything to keep her legs open and available to him, so what she wants is what she gets.  The business in fact isn’t going out of business, they are actually expanding and everyone’s jobs are now secure.  If I would be there I would reap that benefit.  While I am happy to be free of the negativity, toxic environment and petty bullshit – I still would like to be collecting a paycheck.  Plus the idea of things getting busy again would be appealing.  Ah well, I have no choice but to move on.  Think about my situation, then tell me what you would do.  I’m curious. 

Tomorrow will be the last work day of the week, since Friday is Independence Day (a holiday) here in the US.  Most businesses are closed and people will either work 1/2 days tomorrow or at the very least get out of work early.  I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow.  I am hoping that I get invited to some friends house for the holiday.  Otherwise, it will be a boring old time here.  Given my last experience I won’t be soon to return to my mom’s place.  Who wants burnt burgers and no BBQ Sauce, not me. 

Since I have stayed in my hope for tomorrow is that I can have some fun at the movies, get answers regarding food stamps and just have a good day.  Next week is open.  I will have to reschedule my ‘unemployment training’ on how to go back to work.  Another time waster but they won’t be paying me unemployment until I complete this little task.  So I will be working on getting that rescheduled and hope that I get more calls asking for interviews next week.  Until then it’s seek and apply.

I hope all is well in your world.  Talk with you peeps later.

Lesson Learned

My interview this morning I thought was a complete waste of my time.  They opened by telling me that I would have to take a $14,000.00 cut in pay.  Then the interview started.  I wanted to say why bother but I kept quiet and went through with it, if nothing else it was good practice. 

I went to a school district.  Apparently they need money, want my tax dollars but don’t want to pay anyone but the people at the top what they are worth.  I was told that they will finish interviews by next week and then make their decision.  Whom ever they select would have to attend a school board meeting later in the month and the board would have to approve before one could be hired.  The lesson I learned is to avoid school districts and places of higher education unless they post the salary in the ad.  Chances are good that they won’t pay very well.

Now if I got this job, it would be a raise from unemployment but there is no way that I could meet all of my financial obligations.  A lot would have to go like the house, the cats, cable TV, landline phone.  I would basically have to start life over and that isn’t what I am looking to do.  If it means that I have a couple extra weeks in the unemployment line so be it, so long as I get to stay put and keep what I have.  I don’t think that is an unreasonable request. 

I have a phone interview in the morning and then the rest of my schedule for this week is wide open.  I can do absolutely anything I want.  That is not good because my life runs best on a schedule or routine.  Without it I have no reason to get out of bed and no motivation to do anything. 

The one thing I am determined to do is get the cat urine smell out of the living room.  It just started a couple days ago, I thought it was a litter box but no apparently someone has peed on something they shouldn’t have.  Now the challenge is finding it and getting it clean.  I’m inclined to think it’s the couch and that won’t be easy to get clean if that is the case. 

Shy Girl isn’t feeling well and Big Boy has proven to me if the boxes are too dirty he will go on the floor no matter what.  He doesn’t go under the couch unless he is scared and that doesn’t happen often.  Cleaning isn’t something I look forward to but usually once I am in the middle of it, it’s not so bad. 

Made it to the grocery store got out relatively cheap but made up for that by stopping for a tank of gas.  Got to have the go juice to make it to and from interviews.  Well off to see what kind of trouble I can get into.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Last Monday in June

So tomorrow we move into July.  The only thing good about that is that I am able to flip the page on my calendars and see a new face and body.  NICE!  Outside of that I am really not excited to see a new month.  Feels like time is just drifting away.

This morning I got a call from my therapist informing me that she wasn’t a preferred provider so all of the benefits that I was supposed to get for free, well now I have to pay for them.  I kept my appointment today and am waiting for her billing person to figure things out.  I see benefit here but if I have to shell out cash I don’t know that I will continue very long, if at all. 

It’s like just when you think all of the bad stuff that has happened to me, it can and actually does get worse.  Bad things happen, just a part of life. 

I ventured out today and got a new shirt for interviewing.  The sales guy talked me into buying 2 and when I saw the total price I wanted to say put them back, but I paid and walked out.  They apparently don’t sell short sleeve dress shirts any longer, I was told they were hard to sell.  Everyone wants long sleeves.  That is everyone but me.  I sweat like no tomorrow and in the summer short sleeves are the best.  Anyway, I got one really dark blue and the other one is purple.  Both look good, but I’m going with blue for the interview.  I can save purple for a 2nd interview.  I had been dressing down in a polo and dress pants, I mean a tie really isn’t required in my field but I think that might have been part of my down fall.  So I’m playing to win and hopefully I will be able to win me a good paying job soon. 

I’m doing laundry and as soon as the dryer buzzer goes off I will be headed up stairs.  Feed the children their snack and call it a day.  I have to get up pretty early tomorrow.  I put off going to the grocery store tonight and instead treated myself to Red Lobster.  Again I can’t afford it but one has to live a little, now and then. 

Outside of the call from my therapist, the phone has been silent all day long.  The holiday doesn’t help me, lots of people are on vacation or working very short weeks.  I remember the 4th was always something that I looked forward to.  I mean it’s better when you have someone to share it with.  Even if we did just treat it as another day. 

So there you have it Monday in a nut shell.  Not exactly exciting times here but it was certainly a little different day from a normal Monday.  Talk with you peeps later. 

The Weekend

Not much to report from here.  I slept away Saturday.  I had a friend try to get me to go out but I refused.  I just wanted to be left alone in my little cocoon. 

Today I got up around 9 and fed the animals.  Ate some breakfast and watched a little TV.  Reruns of Roseanne.  That sure was a great show.  I love their quick wit and comebacks.  Of course that might be part of the reason I am such a smart ass today.  Then it was back to bed.  I thought I was going to sleep with BLU because he was curled up in my bed.  However, I laid down and it wasn’t much longer he took off.  He waited until I was asleep and then came back.  I woke up and was surrounded by cats wanting lunch.  I tried to fake staying asleep in the hopes I would fall back asleep but that didn’t work out so well for me.  It was 1:30 so I got up and fed them.  Had a piece of left over pizza and a soda for lunch.

Not much on the agenda today.  I feel lazy and I see no reason to get all excited about things.  I would like to get a few things done but hey I’ve got all week.  Tomorrow will spring me into action because I have to get ready for therapy.  I am also thinking of going out to shop for a new shirt for interviewing.  I hope that the phone rings tomorrow and brings more interviews my way.  Right now the race is on, if I don’t have a job by the end of July then I won’t be able to make the mortgage payment for August.  I have the money for it, but since I don’t know how long this unemployment will go on I have to hold on to what little bit of money I have.  Hopefully, everything comes together and I will be back to work soon.

Being rejected a few times leads me to examine myself and wonder what is that I am doing wrong that seems to be scaring everyone off.  I’ve taken a pretty hard look at myself and replayed the interviews in my head.  I can think of a couple answers I would change but I honestly can’t find anything that would cause someone to say I really don’t want to hire him.  The last time I was unemployed it lasted for 2 years.  I thought it was a bad reference that kept me from getting jobs.  I know for a fact that it was a factor in at least 3 jobs that I had interviewed for.  However, I’m wondering if maybe some of that delay wasn’t because of something that I am doing wrong. 

I’ve read books on interviewing, but honestly I’ve done it so much I pretty well know how the game is played.  I am not overly bubbly and I don’t give answers like I am a princess.  I just sit down and talk to the people, keeping an up beat tone and trying to remember to smile a lot.  Smiling goes very far and it’s something that I don’t do enough of.  I am conscious of that, even before all of this bad luck happened to me I was that way.  I mean now that you know my full situation with everything that has transpired your probably saying to yourself if that happened to me I wouldn’t be smiling either.  When I am in an interview I don’t think of anything else but the interview, what questions to ask and constantly being aware of my surroundings and how things are going.  I send thank you letters and do all of the necessary steps, but still in the end I get rejected.  I ask for feedback but it’s seldom provided, mostly because company’s think you will sue them.  If I had enough money to sue everyone that turned me down for a job then I don’t think I would need a job.  The rejection was easily wiped away when I had a job but now that I am desperate and have no job, I kind of take it a little more personal.

I am not sure of what steps to take other than what I am doing, in order to land a job.  The in person interview I have this week requires multiple approvals before one is awarded the job.  I can only hope and pray I am their guy, the pay is right and that we can move the process along as quickly as possible.  It really sucks being in this fight all alone with no partner.  He would try to cheer me up, take me out for the occasional meal and/or sweet treat.  Perhaps we would just go for a drive.  He was concerned about my feelings and trying to keep me on the positive side of things, despite the fact that negativity has been bread into me.  Times like this make that negativity all the more worse. 

The good news is that the bills for the first part of the month of July are paid.  I have a savings account that has $100 held hostage.  Meaning that if the balance falls below that amount a service charge is automatic.  I am so highly allergic to service fees and those fees seem to be making a come back.  I want to close the account but I have had it for such a long time that I am having some reservations. 

Shy Girl has some knots in her fur.  She is slowly letting me work them out with a brush.  She doesn’t like brushing all that much.  Once I get the knots worked out it will be time to trim her claws again.  That is something neither her or I look forward to.  She has warmed up to me a bit since my partners death, because she knows I am the source of the food.  However, she is a picky little girl and thinks that she should have her own special food.  I only give that to her on occasion because it’s expensive and I don’t want to form a habit.  Big Boy is starting to become picky as well.  He turns his nose up frequently at what I serve him.  He will wedge his way in to the buffet pushing aside whomever to try a different can of food.  He doesn’t seem to mind all of the growling, hissing and fighting that goes on when that happens.  I on the other hand hate to hear hissing, it’s just a sign that trouble is on the way.  The females are the primary source for hissing (imagine that).  The males usually remain quiet and look at them like they are crazy bitches.  BLU will push his boundaries until a fight starts, he thinks he is a super cat or something. 

Well I have filed my unemployment claim for the week.  Off to see what other chores I can accomplish before it’s once again time for bed.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

The wait is over

As the title intimates the wait is over, I heard back from the place that I had the second interview on and they chose someone else.  So I am no longer waiting to hear from them, but I am waiting to find a job. 

I got a response to an ad that I answered and they want to do a phone interview.  Turns out it’s at the same time I am supposed to be at the unemployment back to work training.  Gosh, I really hate (not) that I have to miss that.  I of course will have to reschedule as attendance is mandatory.

Got a certified letter from my old employer today saying that they would like me to have my attorney contact them.  They are confused by my sentence “all future correspondence must be done via US Mail only”.  Apparently they want to talk on the phone or exchange e-mails.  If there turns out to be any kind of a claim I want to have proof, thus the exclusion for them to contact me via US Mail.  I don’t have an attorney representing me in this matter.  I told them I was told by an attorney not to sign their agreement.  Apparently they don’t think that one can consult an attorney for a specific matter and not retain the services of the attorney.  Honestly I can’t think of anything else we have to talk about at this point, so I am ignoring their letter.  Perhaps silence will be golden here and they will just go away. 

So next week I have another therapy visit, an in person interview and a phone interview.  One activity per day spread across 3 days.  I’d like to fill Thursday with another in person interview.  Only time will tell.  There wasn’t any ads to respond to today.  A place that is close by said they are hiring 3 people but they want me to take a 13 thousand dollar pay cut.  I can’t afford to do that, I would never be able to pay my bills.  However, they have great benefits.  Too bad you can’t pay bills with benefits. 

I got a response back on my late partners medical records.  It’s another bill and all they did was photocopy all of the documents that I sent them, send them back to me and charge me for photocopying and postage.  Really?  I wrote them and said what gives.  I was furious.  Once I managed to calm down I see the problem, I didn’t specify why I wanted them.  Well, honestly you don’t have to specify why you want them, it’s not required by law.  They wrote me back and asked me for an invoice number.  I provided that and haven’t heard from them since.  I will pick this up again on Monday.  I know the records will cost me a small fortune but it will help me put an end to wondering if he took his own life or if it’s like I believe that he simply was confused and thought he was out of medication that he actually had.  I’m looking for an answer and the only way I will get it is to get the records.  Hopefully, they will comply.  I had an easier time getting medical records from 2 hospitals then I am his physician’s office.  Funny thing is that the physicians office and the 2nd hospital where he was taken are part of the same medical family. 

Ugh, life just seems to be one challenge, after another challenge.  I am tired of fighting.  I just want a job so I can go back to work, earn money to pay bills and get by with the ability to save a few dollars.  Apply and get a home loan, pay off my car and find a nice guy to spend the rest of my life with.  I don’t think I want too much and I am certainly not asking for the stars and the moon, so why doesn’t it all just come together?  Excellent question of which I have no answer to. 

Not looking forward to the weekend but looking forward to Monday and going back to therapy.  Happy weekend!  Talk with you peeps later.

HO LEE SHIT

Wednesday I sat around waiting for it to be time to get ready for the interview.  I actually fell asleep (happens when I am bored) and woke up in time to get ready.  I was in the shower, heard the phone as I turned off the water and began drying off.  Caller ID said that it was the place I was going to.  I had a gut reaction that the interview was cancelled.  Once I got dried off I confirmed that by listening to the message.  They filled the position and cancelled the interview.  They were hoping that the message reached me before I traveled the long distance to their office.  Yeah, I got the message in time but I was not happy.  It would have been much worse if I would have driven there and found out that it was cancelled.  I mean I wasn’t thrilled about the job but I at least owed it to myself to show up and give it a fair shot. 

Thursday I woke up early because of course I was worried about the whole Food Stamp thing.  Turns out it was probably the simplest thing I did all day long.  It was just a matter of confirming what I put on paper was correct.  I didn’t need to gather all of the documentation that they asked for.  Now I have to wait and I will get a letter within a week if I am approved or denied.  If approved a debit type card will arrive within a week.  Oh joy, something else to wait on.  I totally hate that.  I think as sophisticated as their computers are they should know on the spot if your approved or denied.  The lady told me that she was hoping I would be approved the this afternoon.  Yeah, okay hoping and actually approved are two different situations.

I made a stop at Target.  I wanted to get a pride shirt but they didn’t have any, which is usually what happens because I wait until the last minute.  I did get some other things I needed and was very disappointed they didn’t have Orange Listerine.  That was my favorite.  I’m back to Green and not looking forward to it. 

Then it was on to get the mail.  A certified letter was waiting for me.  Gee, I wonder who that could be from?  If you guessed my former employer your right.  I didn’t claim it, I will get around to it tomorrow or Saturday.  I’m sure it’s just more BS.  Unless there is a direct question I am done with them and will ignore them.  I’m sure they are not happy I am not signing the Separation Agreement.  However, they must think I have a claim or they would have never offered it to me in the first place.  It’s their get out of jail free card and it only works if I sign it. 

Then I see a letter from the unemployment people.  I figured it’s a dreaded you must report notice.  Nope this is a you must attend a getting back to work class.  They are going to teach me how to write a resume, how to interview, etc.  Things I already know and am already doing.  I’ve done this before and don’t see the point.  There will be some type of aptitude test and then they will “school me”.  The worst part is that it’s is in a place where there is only on street parking.  First, I am horrible at parallel parking.  Second, I’m not wild about street parking and slugging a meter.  I’m going to a government agency and they are not in a hurry and could care less if I get 1, 2 or 3 parking tickets.  I thought I had an interview the day they wanted me to report but I don’t.  If I did then I would have to furnish them with that information so they could check up on me, like I am a convict or child.  I understand fully that there are people that abuse the system, but I’m not one of those people.  As evidence by my weekly reports and the number of contact that I make.  It’s very clear that I want to get back to work.  However, for all of those that have screwed over the system – the rest of us have to pay.  Totally unfair.  My hope is that I have a job and then I will have a valid reason for not attending. 

I returned a call from a recruiter who wants to waste my time and have me drive 30 plus miles to come see her and her boss so they can figure out if I am presentable and a good candidate to submit for a job.  We talked about it and I let her make the appointment and she promised to send me an e-mail to confirm everything.  She just didn’t say when she was going to send it.  I am waiting for it and will cancel the appointment.  I see no reason to waste my gas so that someone can look at me and figure out if I am a professional.  This is one of those dreaded situations where they call you over, waste your time and gas to say they will submit you and you never ever hear from them again.  I fell for that time and time again the last round, this round I am not going to let it happen unless it’s absolutely necessary.  That is part of the reason why my resume is not posted on any job website because you get offers like this, plus tons of spam and every life insurance and financial company thinks that you’d make a great salesperson for their organization.  I’m not a salesperson I’m an IT Professional.  I want to stick to what I know.

Still waiting to hear from the recruiter from the job I had the 2nd interview with on Tuesday.  I have checked the website and it says that I am still under consideration.  I suppose their HR Department moves very slow.  Typical for a large organization, the bigger they are the slower they move and the more BS and rules you have to comply with.  However, it will all be worth it to me if they make me a decent offer.  Despite the ‘crazy’ people and the myriad of potential immunizations I will have to get, I think it will totally be worth it.  Please let them call tomorrow, it would be the best way to end the nightmare and end the week.  My body/sleep scheduled will need to be adjusted but outside of that I am totally ready to give it a go.  Pick me!

The children are driving me nuts with their begging for food.  They are eating more and better than I am.  I think I should have said I will pay for my food give me help with cat food.  Too bad it doesn’t work that way.  They would have run out of food today if I didn’t go shopping.  So I made my way to the pet store as well.  Now I have nothing going tomorrow.  I can do whatever I want, the entire day is mine.  Want to guess where you will find me?  If you said in bed, chances are pretty good that your exactly right.  Although I have thought about going through some of my late partners crap again and trying to clean this place up a little more.  I also desperately need to wash my bed clothes.  The problem with that is every time I am ready there seems to be a cat occupying my bed.  If it’s not Jumper then it’s Blu and they both enjoy sleeping there.  A sleeping cat is a cat that isn’t begging for food, which is good.  Hence why I don’t want to disturb them.  However, all it takes is 1 to start the choir of begging.  One meow and then several more join in.  You can only put them off for so long and then they feel they have to prove their point to you.  That might be by nipping at you or just constantly meowing despite how many times you ask for them to be quiet. 

I watched a special on HBO called The Case Against 8.  It’s talking about Prop 8 for Same Sex Marriage in CA.  It was very eye opening and I am so thankful that those people stepped forward to help pave the way for the rest of us.  Today is also the day 1 year ago that DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act) was struck down.  I remember I was watching the US Supreme Court’s website while holding my breath.  I was so elated, even though it really didn’t benefit me it’s good to know that it was unconstitutional.  Love is Love is Love is Love.  Now if I just had someone to love it would make this difficult time just a little bit better. 

Lawn Boy showed up yesterday, he was late.  It was very hot out but he was fully clothed.  I soon took my focus off of him and began talking on the phone when 2 hot blond boys started walking down the street.  They were selling something.  I have a no solicitors sign so they got so far, saw that and turned.  I wanted to rip that down and say uh yoo hoo come give me your sales pitch.  It wasn’t the sales pitch I was after, it was them.  Ah well.  Lots of people peddle stuff and that sign discourages about 1/2 of them.  Plus I have no mailbox so it’s difficult to drop off a flyer or literature.  All the more reason why there is no mailbox. 

Well off to see what kind of trouble I can stir up.  I have something to do most everyday next week except for Thursday and Friday.  Friday of course is the 4th of July so it will be a holiday.  Too bad I wasn’t scheduled for the job class thingy then.  That would have been hilarious.  However, I’m sure they would have caught up with me.  If you don’t go then they stop your benefits and well I need the money so I will let them waste my time.  I am interested in seeing where I am at for the 4th.  Last year I was invited to some friends house but I am not sure if that will happen this year.  I really don’t want to be around my family as that will leave me open for questions.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps again.

So far it’s only Tuesday

Monday was therapy.  My therapist is some yuppie woman who appears to be in complete control of life and strikes me as the typical doctor type who thinks they are better than you.  At least that is the vibe she gives off.  The 1st session it’s self went well and she feels that I am suffering from PTSD and that I have not fully grieved the loss of my partner.  She has encouraged me to mix it up at home and make changes so that the place looks more like my place than our place.  There are a couple of changes I would like to make but that involves work and we all know how much I love to procrastinate.  I am still thinking of taking over what used to be his bedroom but I am not too eager to act on that.  For now I will be meeting with her 1 time per week and if I find a job she said that she would work around my schedule, which was a pleasant surprise in that her hours are like 9-5 but she told me she does lots of after hours work.  I would have to drive to a different place but good to know that a job wouldn’t be a deal breaker. 

I have spent many hours tinkering with a response to letters I got my from former employer.  I finally settled on what I think is the best version and mailed it today.  When I didn’t get a paycheck this time that kind of hurt.  I thought they owed me additional money for time worked but checking into it further that is not the case.  They do however owe me for vacation time and I am pursing that.  However, the state that I worked in has no provisions for recovering vacation pay.  An employer can promise to pay and then not come through.  There is no recourse for the former employee.  The only thing that you can legally go after is Wages earned.  Failure to pay wages is a crime.  Given the fact that I am sticking them with a paperweight for a laptop I suspect they will fail to pay my vacation.  I have also informed them that I was advised by an attorney not to sign their separation agreement.  So given the fact that I won’t be doing that they probably won’t be issuing a letter of recommendation.  They are disappointed in me and I am just mad as hell at them.  It’s best if we just left each other alone, then we would probably get along better.  My letter will be delivered tomorrow and I suspect that the fireworks will erupt shortly after.  I have no idea on their next move but it will be interesting to see. 

2nd job Interview.  I had my 2nd interview today with a major employer in the area.  This is the job working with the mentally challenged.  I got a tour of the building and got to learn more about what they actually do.  It’s a relaxed atmosphere but not to sound funny literally I would be surrounded by crazy people.  Parts of the building smell like an old nursing home.  No one actually lives in this location, it’s an outpatient facility.  Very interesting concept and it brings hope to people with mental illness that need rehabilitation and want to reenter the work force.  However, there is absolutely no privacy.  I am told that patients will constantly approach you and want to make small talk, as well as report computer problems.  I do like to help people but I also have a weak tolerance for stupid.  It sounds like a nice place and given how things went and how the interview ended I believe that I will be made an offer.  Not sure if it will be worth it but it would be a job.  One of the things I was told that is if I accept an offer that there would be a 2 week process of various things that occur from background checks, drug tests to immunizations.  One of the guys said he had to get like 40 shots before he started there.  Wow, that is a lot of needles.  They asked me if I was a smoker, chewer or used tobacco in any form.   When I told them know there was a sigh of relief because this organization hires only non-smokers.  I think that is discriminatory but it’s not one of the protected classes so they can get away with it.  I’m told that word one way or the other will come this week.

My next interview is tomorrow in the afternoon.  I am less thrilled about this and expect them to offer me a job if not on site shortly there after.  Now I am trying to choose in my mind if you pit one against the other which one is the better opportunity.  Not to mention which one pays better and provides the most stability.  I wish I was excited about one of these jobs instead of looking at both of them as duds.  All I know is that I can’t afford to turn my nose up at anything at this point.  I am the one in need and the one who will make a move out of desperation. 

Stay tuned and we will see if I can get back to work soon, even if it’s a job I don’t love today, maybe I will fall in love with it over time.  Talk with you peeps later.

Threats–Job Search–Just another week

Welcome back for another dose of fun and an update on my week. Not a whole lot has changed. 

Monday my former employer started texting me and calling my cell phone.  They figured out that my laptop was biometrically protected and w/o my fingerprint the machine is nothing more than a mere paperweight.  Now if you know what your doing you can get around that, however since they let their IT guy (me) go none of them are smart enough to know what to do.  I ignored their requests and it actually got so bad I had to forward my cell phone to disconnected number so they would think that I abandoned the number.  I let it stay that way for a couple days and then took the forward off.  I’ve gotten calls for flowers and to rent property.  It’s all of a sudden like people don’t know how to dial.

Friday I received a couple certified letters from my old employer.  The first one said that my severance agreement was going to expire and the second one said that my severance agreement was going to expire and that if I didn’t provide them my password for my laptop immediately they were going to take legal action against me.  It’s a fingerprint!  What do they want me to do chop off my finger and mail it to them.  Well if I was dumb enough to do that I would send them my wait for it…… middle finger! 

I have since contacted my attorney and checking to see if they in fact have legal recourse.  From what I can tell based on a web search they have no grounds for a suit.  The laptop was $700 at most.  You’d spend that in attorneys fees and filing costs.  If they would file suit it would require me to file a response and that would cost me.  I am stubborn enough to make them go through the motions and then go okay, in exchange for you dropping the suit, we can arrange for a meeting where I will swipe my finger and open up the laptop.  The problem is that unless they know to change the settings in the BIOS that when the machine loses power it will again require my finger print. 

I have a response letter prepared for them and have also downloaded and modified a template for a Cease and Desist Letter asking them to stop contacting me as their contact is unwelcome and unwanted.  I outline the specific reasons for contacting me that are permitted and state that all contact is restricted to US MAIL.  That way I don’t have to listen to them bitch, threaten and hound me on the phone.  Anything they want will be done in writing and that my friends will stand up in a court of law, so they will have to be careful on what they write. 

With regards to the severance agreement, they by law owe me 45 days since they fired someone else for the same reason as me.  They think I haven’t seen an attorney, I am dumb and will just sign my rights away.  Nope, I actually can’t sign the agreement because I have already filed a complaint against them.  It apparently has yet to surface but when it does they will be sorry they ever fucked with me.  Fines, penalties and they will have their name in the news so no one will want to do business with them.  That effectively will put them out of business.  They were going out of business anyway, at least that is what they have told everyone.  I know first hand it’s not true, it was a rouse to get rid of certain people and I just so happened to be one of them.

Moving on to the Job Hunt.  I got a call last week to setup an interview this week for Thursday.  I was going into this negative and not excited about the opportunity.  I went to the interview and my perception changed as soon as I got in front of the panel of people I was meeting with.  I got a good vibe.  The interview was over and then they asked me to meet their Finance Guy and wanted to bring in the HR person but he was busy.  I talked with the Finance Guy and we laughed and made idle chit chat.  The whole experience was laid back and I left thinking this is the one, they will be calling with an offer.  I raced home to email off my thank you letter.  To touch base with the Head Hunter and then it was time to wait. 

Friday afternoon I received an e-mail from the Head Hunter saying that they would not be extending an offer because “it wasn’t a good cultural fit”.  WTF!?  That wording is very vague and open to interpretation as in Discrimination.  It could be because of my age, my sexuality, the fact I am unmarried I mean the list goes on and on.  I have asked for clarification but heard nothing but crickets.  So I did some research and found their HR guys name and I am sending him a Certified Letter saying hey I thought this was going to work out and I am perplexed by the rejection.  I can deal with it but I have to have more information about the reason I was given.  I was very polite and made no threats.  I should get a response next week.  Otherwise, I will move to file a complaint against them, at which time they can explain to the US Government what they meant. 

Honestly I am not a litigious person but if I know I am right and you are dead wrong I will fight until the bitter end to prove you wrong. 

So that kind of dashed my hopes.  I was all confident and cocky then to hear there was no offer was a huge let down.  However, I got a call for a 2nd interview it’s at the place where I would have to work with mentally challenged people.  I am not excited about it at all, but the employer is a major organization in the area and offers stellar benefits and I already know the salary offer would be more than I was making, not what I want but only 2 thousand away from it.  So it would benefit me.  Plus I figure if I get in and truly don’t like it just bide my time and eventually I could transfer.  Perhaps this will be the one, I don’t know but hope that I can land somewhere quickly and that I am happy with whatever is given to me.  I don’t want to keep on this job search any longer than absolutely necessary. 

I called about my Unemployment.  I was given a bogus reason.  Turns out they were waiting to see if my former employer was going to protest the claim.  That call actually got the ball rolling.  I got my first check today.  However, I didn’t know that it was coming and the person that I talked to told me it could be 6 weeks before I got paid.  Well that prompted me to apply for Food Stamps.  I am NOT happy about it but a person has to take steps necessary for survival. 

I finally made contact with the person I selected to be my Therapist.  I am meeting her on Monday.  I filled out all of the paperwork yesterday and wow it looks like I am a nut job.  I certainly don’t feel that way about myself.  I have just had a lot of negative things happen to me starting with my partner dying and eventually loosing my job.  It’s just a bit much to handle. 

The bills are rolling in and everyone wants their money.  Friday I got a call from the Mortgage Company about my Assumption Application.  Huh?  I never filed for an Assumption and I know my Attorney didn’t either.  I am glad I didn’t take that call because it could have caused all sorts of problems.  I instead have contacted my Attorney and asked her to inquire about it.  I didn’t file such an application and given my situation right now I DO NOT want to assume the loan.  If I was dumb enough to if/when I default then it would go against my credit.  As it stands now it will go against my late partners credit and well that is shot anyway, not like he is going to need it.  In the US if you default on a property you have a restriction placed on you for a number of years where you are unable to purchase Real Property of any kind.  So you are forced to rent.  I’ve seen both the Rental Side and Ownership Side.  I personally like the Ownership Side.  However, the American Dream was to always own a home.  Now I hear that it’s better to Rent than buy.  Do something with the balance of your money like invest it.  I think that is hog wash but just my opinion. 

My week is pretty full.  Monday is Therapy, Tuesday is my Interview, Thursday I have to go talk to the Food Stamp people.  That leaves Wednesday and Friday wide open.  I got a call today from another place and may have an interview on Wednesday.  I’m not thrilled about it because it’s a family business and they want mega attention and they are further from my home and not willing to meet my salary demands.  I hope they don’t call back, I would just as soon pass on this one. 

Mr. Big Boy his brother and sisters all had a Birthday today.  They are all 10 years old.  Momma had her Birthday on Thursday and she is 11 years old.  They are a blessing and a curse at the same time.  Mr. Big Boy has me worried his bowel habits have changed and last night he peed on the carpet, which he NEVER does.  I know he will most likely be the first one to die out of his family, but I am NOT ready to part with him.  I’m keeping an eye on him.  His eating habits have changed as well.  He is extra picky about what he will eat.  You think he is tearing into a can of food and he takes a couple bites to fool you then he stops.  As if to say, nope don’t like it get me something else.  He has been making his rounds through the various plates in the house and stealing food from the others, again something he never has done before.  I don’t know what is going on with him but as long as it doesn’t mean a trip to the vet and I don’t have to dig a hole to bury him, I am content with catering to him.  He knows he has me wrapped around his finger. 

Wow – that was sure a mouthful.  I am headed to see about finding something on TV.  Tomorrow is Grocery Store Day and we all know how excited I am about that.  Ugh!  Hope your all doing well.  Talk with you peeps later.

Hanging on

Not a whole lot has changed since I last made an entry.  I have been rejected a few times and gotten closure on a job that I thought for sure was coming through.  I don’t exactly like hearing no but after you have heard that word most of your life it gets a little easier to deal with. 

A place that is close to home that I applied for but was turned down, has an ad out again.  I applied.  They have been searching for someone for a few months now.  Apparently they don’t know how to pick talent or it is a really crappy environment to work in.  This is the place that offers the generous vacation allowance of 1 week.  I can’t see spending the rest of my life at this place but it would be something to get me back on my feet and then if I needed to I could move on.

Yesterday my friend from where I used to work reached out to me for like the millionth time about work crap.  We need to know where this is and we have this problem.  Uh I don’t work there anymore, I was cut off at the knees and therefore so are you.  I never would answer the phone and finally got so tired of the constant text messages that I forwarded my phone to a disconnected number, so she would think that I swapped numbers or forgot to pay the bill.  No text messages today and the calls are still going to the recording.  I will take it off in a couple days.  I hate to burn a bridge on a friendship but it’s clear that she is loyal to the people who are paying her.  I need to move on and not have constant reminders about that place and what is happening.  All of those people could drop dead tomorrow and it would not phase me one bit. 

Speaking of that place still no unemployment.  Unless they are protesting it shouldn’t take this long.  I called today and was told they are working on getting a deputy assigned to my case and I would either receive a letter in the mail or payment would just magically show up in my bank account.  Keep on looking for a job and keep on reporting in.  Yeah, I’m smart enough to know that.  However I can’t take those words to the bank and pay bills with them.

While I am not proud of it, today I applied for Food Stamps.  I mean it’s pretty clear that my expenses outweigh the money I have on hand and within two months I will be completely broke.  I am making the July house payment but that will be the last one unless I get a job.  I’ve alerted my attorney so they know to let the mortgage company know but they won’t do anything until we get closer to the August payment being due, once the word gets out I will surely be setup for foreclosure. 

My life to me feels as if it is spinning out of control.  I can’t get closure over my late partners death because of the mortgage & bankruptcy situation.  Plus I am battling now to get his medical records from his doctor.  I really want to know if his death was because he was confused or because he was diagnosed with something that he didn’t tell me about.  He loved me more than life it’s self and I really don’t think that he left me on purpose.  I would like to have the records to back that up.  Then factor in everything else that has transpired since his death with the mortgage & bankruptcy battle, car accident, looming job loss, worrying about Big Boy dying, My financial worries, Identity Theft, Job Loss … I mean it’s no wonder I feel the way I do.  Since I don’t see the sun shining on me anytime soon, I’d like to at least have someone to talk with about things in greater detail.  This is something that I have thought about for a long time and took steps today to find a therapist.  Now I just hope the person I chose is IN NETWORK and actually calls me back.  I checked my benefits and they are really decent on this.  I view this as another way my late partner is continuing to care for me, even though he is gone.  Being quite serious I can’t kill myself because of the cats.  No one would care for them like I will.  No one knows them like I do.  They are both a blessing and a curse.  I love them so much and in many ways they are the last living tie to my late partner.  I made him a promise and I just can’t go against that.  Killing myself is the only way that I see where there is no more pain or suffering to do.  If there was some place I could take them and they would care for them and keep them together then I would gladly do it and then check out of life. 

My mother and brother both have been calling a lot lately.  They have no idea that I am unemployed.  I told them that work was cutting costs so we had to turn in our cell phones.  That is it.  Letting that cat out of the bag means that I would become my mothers chauffer and I can’t deal with that responsibility nor her.  It would be far too much.  It’s bad enough that I lost my job no sense in compounding the suffering. 

Now it’s on to litter box duty and to finish up the series I want to marry Harry.  I am getting a haircut tomorrow and then on to a job interview on Thursday.  I am not excited about the interview on Thursday because I think they want me to use my car to travel cross country to do their business.  That will not happen, no matter what they are paying me.  If you want me to travel like that, then you supply a vehicle.  I’m fine with local travel but not cross country in my car.  So I don’t think things will work out but I am giving it a go because you just never know where life will take you.  My hope is that the phone starts ringing off the hook tomorrow because of a couple jobs that I applied for today.  The market is still sluggish but I have done pretty well with the # of contacts that I am able to make in a week.  It is getting harder as times goes on.

I hope things are coming up roses for you and that your world is not in such a shambles as mine is.  Talk with you again.  Cheers!