31 December 2016

Days Left

I got a call from my friend, he was on the way to the hospital to pick up his wife and bring her home.  I found out that she has been hydrated while being in the hospital.  I thought that they were going to discontinue her IV earlier this week but either I miss understood or the game plan changed.  In any case my friend is pretty smart, he seems to know something about everything.  My late partner was like that to a degree.  Anyway he researched on line about how long you can live with out food and/or water.  Your looking at days and not weeks.  She will probably be gone by this time next week or at least circling the drain.

Both of us had jags of crying while we were talking.  I had been upset when I got the initial news and wanted to cry but couldn’t.  The phone call changed that and brought all of my emotion to the surface.  I have been thinking about both of them ever since I got the news.  I feel so bad and so powerless or helpless.  There should be some way to fix this and not having that fix and giving up seems so wrong to me.  However, this is not my decision this is their decision and she is comfortable with it and at peace.  He is falling apart. 

In talking about this, he told me that I may very well be the only friend he has at the funeral.  His son won’t be able to make it. His sister suddenly has obstacles and isn’t coming.  A long term friend of his in CA doesn’t sound like he is coming.  He told me that he was very glad to have me as a friend and that I was a good person.  This almost felt like he was telling me goodbye, but I think that he is experiencing a lot right now and knows that it’s better to express your emotions than bottle them up.

This morning I went to the local Hallmark store.  I told the lady the circumstances and she directed me to the comfort section.  Some of the cards had hope attached to them.  I found one that said sorry your going through a difficult time, I’m thinking of you.  Not those words exactly but words to that effect.  Now I worry that it won’t get there in time, but I will be taking it to a post office that is known for providing excellent service, so if my plan comes to fruition they will have it on Tuesday at the latest Wednesday.  I just really hope that it makes it before it’s too late. 

Yesterday I talked with my boss and told him about what is going on.  He said take as much time as you need.  I told him a day or two at most, it’s going to happen out of the blue so it’s semi-scheduled.  I don’t like to take too much unscheduled time.  I don’t have many friends and those that I do have I care for deeply.  So I’d move Heaven & Earth if that was necessary, being a true friend is of the utmost importance to me.  It’s at a time like this that you need people be it family, friends or just acquaintances.   

While I was at the Hallmark Store I picked up a Yankee Candle called Home Sweet Home.  It’s pretty nice.  I got two smaller candles by Wood Wick, they are both the same scent Rustic Harvest.  I’ve never had any of their candles, always been a Yankee guy.  They are really nice, the wood wick is nice to listen to the crackle, almost sounds like a mini fireplace.  The burn is supposed to be easier and more even.  I just hope I don’t go through them too quickly, they were not cheap. 

Last night I treated myself to Taco Bell.  I found out that if you work 3 hours of overtime the company pays for your evening meal up to $20 but it’s suggested that you not go over $10 if at all possible.  I got $10.66 worth of food so it shouldn’t be a problem.  I only worked an hour of overtime but then the witch I work with made a mistake and I had to be on the phone with a very upset person for 2 hours.  It was not pleasant but in addition to my overtime, I figured why not turn in the meal receipt.  My boss was pretty adamant about me getting something and making the company pay for it.  Now I haven’t had reimbursable expenses since I went to training when I first started.  So I have to ask someone for help on how to submit the expense.  Taco Bell was my choice, since when I got it I didn’t have the OT I never thought the company would be paying for it.  All I was thinking about is I want Mexican Food and Taco Bell sounded really good, so much that it was on my brain the day before.

I’ve got all of the bills paid so I get to tell the kids we can stay here another month.  Ran into the realtor who sold my late partner the house.  He asked me how thins were and if I was going to move soon.  I said all is well and no plans on moving.  He asked me for my card, he was having some computer problems.  Yeah I gave him a card but I really don’t like to dabble in personal pc repair, once you touch it and something else breaks it’s suddenly all your fault.  I like to leave those situations for the geek squad.  I wouldn’t mind giving some basic help but really don’t want to get much deeper than that.  He was helpful to my partner so I would gladly return the favor.

Wow hard to believe the year is going to be over in mere hours.  People will be partying it up and doing all sorts of stupid things.  I’ll be safe & sound here at home with the children watching TV and listening to the police scanner.  I need to do some financial work and of course hang up all of my 2017 man calendars.  Hubba Hubba.  Then I need to update my porn collection, because in my opinion I can’t ever have enough porn.  We all have our vices and Food, Porn & Music are mine.  Got to get some new music as well.  My iTunes library is getting stale.

Before I go I did rent Snowden.  Wow what a movie.  I had no idea on the backstory behind Edward Snowden.  It was entertaining especially to the technology nerd in me.  Kind of interesting in how it all came together.  It was also some scary stuff when you think about it.  I also never thought of protecting my webcam with a band-aid.  I use tape for my laptops.  I keep it unplugged for my desktop.  You can’t connect to it if it’s unplugged, no matter how hard you try. 

So goodbye 2016 you have been a fucking miserable cunt of a year.  Hello 2017 I hope your better than your predecessor and that this will be the year of positive change and all good vibes.  Let me find a man, give me money and keep negative in general away from me.  Then we will get along fine and I’ll sing your praises to the world.  It’s just got to be better because the only direction I can go is up.

Cheers to one & all.  Be safe!

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