Drained

Hey there just wanted you all to know that I’m still among the living. 

Thursday I made it to the doctors office.  As usual he was running behind.  I didn’t know it until after the fact but he now uses AI to transcribe and summarize the visit.  The report I read said that I gave a verbal okay for that but no one ever told me about it.  I’m guessing it was buried in the fine print of new forms I had to sign since it’s start of a new year.  For some reason he said come back in six month instead of three months.  I didn’t correct him.  I made a follow up appointment in six months.  I talked about the knots in my back and he’s got a referral to a doctor that is a cross between a Physical Therapist and a Massage Therapist.  All I have to do is say I want it.  I’m highly considering it.  It’s covered by insurance since it’s a medical doctor but since it’s a specialist I would have a co-pay.

Blood work is back.  Cholesterol is up but my A1C is down.  I just got the final results this morning.  Surprised that it took so long, I was starting to worry. 

Had Red Lobster for supper – it was good! Took the day to stay away from the computer. 

Friday I got my haircut, made it to Sam’s Club, the other grocery store and the cat food store.  I went out for pizza.  Have plenty left in the fridge to snack on.  Won a free desert in a giveaway.  Not a bad deal.  Placed an order for 2 cupping devices on Amazon.

Saturday woke up early thanks to Rudy and his wonderful internal clock that always runs fast.  I fed him and his sister.  Checked my phone and saw my cupping device was delivered.  Stepped out in the early morning freezing cold to grab it off the porch.  Opened the box and put them to use. 

My back looks like I was attacked by a bunch of donuts.  I’ve got some serious purple bruises and they weren’t sore at first.  Now that were into the evening the soreness is starting to hit.  I spent part of the afternoon on the heating pad to try to help.  I’ve got two more spots I need to have cupped.  I kind of want to do it tonight but am afraid that I am going to be seriously sore come tomorrow morning. 

Made it out of the house and over to the Mexican place by the office.  Had an okay meal.  Stopped in at the office to deal with a package on my desk and get it secured.  It was work stuff.  Then hightailed it home. 

Now that I am home I feel very run down and really only want to sit in front of the TV and lounge.  Since I have the time and freedom to do so I am going to.  I wonder if my ultimate fear is coming true.  Go to the doctor and get the flu.  Think about it a bunch of sick people in a waiting room and their germs are just floating in the air around me.  I really hope that I don’t have the flu or am getting sick, it’s not what I want.  On the upside I have 2 weeks of sick time.  Last year they gave us this benefit but I didn’t know about it until way late in the month of December and it’s a use or lose time.  Thankfully with the new year they front two weeks (80 hours) of time.  While it wouldn’t look good to call in sick on Monday if I am truly sick and don’t feel good, I will do exactly that. 

Right now I am going to publish this, grab my bedding from the dryer and herd the cats upstairs.  Make the bed and then find something to watch on TV.  I anticipate I will go to bed early but don’t want to go too early or I will wake up in the middle of the night. 

As long as I can make it out of the house for breakfast, groceries and to fill the gas tank, it will be a win for me.  Those are really the only things I want to accomplish tomorrow.  Here’s hoping a good nights sleep is all I need to feel better. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday for me

Good morning I’m glad that my work week is done after today.  Thus far the past two days have been enough for me.  I saw a video about retirement at age 55 and after the past two days I’m ready.  Sadly it’s not an option for me but I really wish it was. 

There was some drama yesterday afternoon with one of vendors and it caused me to have to jump on a conference call because the boss loves to hear himself talk.  Turns out by the time we all got connected the issue resolved its self.  So he got enough momentum to sound the big alarms to everyone and then once he did that everything went back to normal.  That’s about the luck I have. 

I feel trapped both in work and in life in general and honestly want out.  I have no plans to make that happen but just a general disgusted feeling as well as being tired and worn out.  A few days off will rejuvenate me but as soon as next Monday rolls around all of that said rejuvenation will be gone, that’s just how it works. 

It was much warmer yesterday here we were in the upper 60’s and it would have been awesome to open the windows and I wish I would have.  However, I didn’t want to deal with all of the excitement that it brings to the cats.  Were supposed to have another nice day today and if that does materialize I for sure plan to open the windows and deal with the furry monsters.  This odor is horrible, about the time I think it’s gone my nose picks it back up.  Kind of makes me wonder if I am going insane. 

Last night I was super bored and decided to check out a new show on A&E called Crime In Progress.  Wow the first episode a New Mexico State Trooper was executed, it was a cowardly act.  This all took place back in 2024.  They caught the guy who did it and he got life in prison.  The show kept me on the edge of my seat and made me glad that I’m not a cop.  It was a routine call and the Trooper had no idea that things were going sideways, it happened quickly.  I watched the show via the A&E app and had to put up with commercials despite the fact that I pay for A&E as part of my TV package, which I didn’t like but it didn’t stop me from watching.  If you like true crime or law enforcement shows, this one is for you. 

Had store bought Spaghetti & Meatballs last night.  I layered it with an Italian blend of shredded cheese and it was good.  More than I needed but I enjoyed it.  Had some cookies and milk a bit later for desert. 

That was my day.  My allergies from this odor are kicking in so I am going to head up and get some extra meds on board and see what else the day has instore.  Thus far only 1 meeting much later in the day with a vendor.  Our regular BS meetings thus far haven’t popped up this week but I suspect they will be back next week.  So not looking forward to truly getting back to normal, but I know that in the end it’s good for me despite the stress it brings. 

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.  Thanks for stopping by!

Open Windows = Joy

Yesterday when I was finally able to break away from the computer and head up for lunch.  I fed the cats and finished up my cold pizza.  Then I opened the windows and wow both cats sprang to life.  They were in lazy sleep mode, which is normal after eating.  They had to visit each window and stare out of it or try to before they decided to start chasing each other throughout the house.  I knew this would make their day but wasn’t quite prepared for their overjoyed response. 

Rudy found his way into trouble by jumping up in my bedroom window and then jumping down when I walked in the room.  He was now behind the TV and crying because he couldn’t figure out how to get out.  Daddy to the rescue.  Then I blocked the door from opening without using some force via a door prop.  That kept him and his sister at bay. 

I got the exhaust fan out to circulate the air and I’m sure the few neighbors that saw my windows opened probably think I am nuts.  Matters not to me.  It felt good and the smell was gone, that is until I turned the fan off and closed the windows.  I also had the fan on from the furnace and despite not needing it I changed the furnace filter. 

As I mentioned in my post yesterday it is warmer than normal here and it’s normal when it warms up for the house to smell for a bit, that is ever since the rodent problem I had.  Once we go back into the deep freeze this should all hopefully go away.  Right now it’s just living with it.  I have to my extra allergy meds otherwise I sneeze like crazy.  This is one of those burdens that I could sure do without.  I lived with this long enough that while it’s not pleasant I’ve grown a custom to know how to deal with it. 

Work was really frustrating yesterday and today is full of apologies from my colleague.  I’m honestly sick of his apologies they are meaningless to me.  He will make the same mistake over and over and over.  Makes me wonder how he makes it in life.  He’s cute and has a great body but that’s about all he has going for him.  Beauty fades, dumb is forever as Judge Judy would say. 

Had a Chicken Pot Pie for supper.  Got that Shave & Shower, man it felt great especially on my sore shoulder.  Prior to that I broke out the tens unit and cranked it up.  I had some involuntary muscle contractions but much like the warm shower it did help.  Thinking of buying a cupping device.  I am suspect because lots of devices I purchased in the past promised results but they didn’t provide them and now I have a collection of junk that I don’t use.  I don’t want more junk, I’ve got enough. 

Here’s hoping that today is a better day and that I can open the windows again to not only see joy on the cats faces but to help get more fresh air in here.  Rain is in the forecast from Wednesday on. 

Today is my Thursday but it really doesn’t feel like it.  Thanks for stopping by.   

Best plans

Well Red Lobster didn’t happen because I decided to clean and reboot my computer before I walked away.  That tied me up for the rest of the evening.  I wound up making one of the Tombstone Pizza’s that I have.  It was okay but certainly not what I wanted for supper and not the way I wanted to spend my evening. 

My right shoulder is bothering me from all of the typing and being tense & aggravated as I worked through the problems.  My back misses a regular massage and while I am trying to cope I might just have to break down and find a new massage therapist despite not wanting to. 

My mistake making colleague called in sick today, which I fully expected.  What I didn’t expect is for him to leave me with a heaping pile of mistakes to fix all of which were urgent.  I got through that mess and sent him a sharply worded email that basically says do your fucking job I’m tired of cleaning up after you.  I didn’t use those words but I was professional about it. 

The boss appears to be out and my other colleague had an appointment this morning and should be back shortly.  I’ve been the sole point of contact for our team and while I am not on-call it’s felt like it. 

I’ve got some strange odor in the house that started yesterday afternoon it’s growing a little stronger.  Not sure what is going on but the good news is that the temperatures will be warmer today so I plan to open some windows and get some fresh air in here.  Kind of smells like something died maybe it’s one of the raccoons under the deck, all I know is that I need the odor to leave quickly it’s disturbing. 

So much for a better 2026, were off to a rocky start.  However, I reminded myself I only have 2 days left to work this week that helps a little bit.  Looking forward to what I hope is a more relaxing afternoon and a nice shave & shower this evening.  Until then I need to grin and bare it. 

Hope all is well in your world!

1st Post for 2026

I hope that 2026 is off to a good start for everyone!

New Years Day – I went out for Mexican food in the afternoon but was home for the bulk of the day with the cats.  Playing on the computer and watching TV, just relaxing in general.  I did stop to grab the mail. 

Friday – It was back to work for one day and wow it was a banger.  It started off with a lull and then the bottom fell out and I was super busy for a while.  The day in general went by pretty fast as Friday’s do.  I was glad when it was over. 

Saturday – I got my laundry done in the evening.  I spent the morning loafing and enjoying a day with nothing planned.  I did go out to the same place I was at last Saturday.  Got a bowl of chili and a Garlic Burger.  That was the plan but then I heard the magical words “Bread Pudding” and well I had to have that.  It was actually Pecan Bread Pudding and served cold.  It would have been better warmed up with a lite drizzle of caramel on top.  Watched a lot of porn when I got home.  It’s one of my escapes from reality. 

Sunday – Rudy woke me up way too early and I went back to bed.  I got up late by Rudy’s standards.  Passed out his breakfast.  Then got ready to go get mine.  Super cold outside and not a lot of people at the breakfast place but I am okay with that.  Grocery store was kind of the same way.  Topped off my gas tank and came home.  Sat on the heating pad for my shoulders and upper back.  Took a nap with the cats.  Put out my medicine.  Then launched into cleaning mode.  I finally got to my bedroom closet which I have put off for months.  I felt really good after I was done with it.  Threw away a few pairs of old shoes and a ton of inserts.  It was all junk that was just collecting dust.  Cleaned the house and here I am in front of the computer. 

It’s been a bit of a blur trying to figure out what day of the week it is with the holidays mixed in but it was really nice to have time away from work. 

I will be done with my first on-call shift of the year come tomorrow morning and nothing feels better than having a break from that for a couple weeks.  I’ve got 3 whole days to work this week and not really looking forward to any of them. 

Thursday I’ll be seeing the doctor again just a regular visit to have labs checked and to air any general complaints.  Friday I’ve got a haircut booked in the morning.  Thinking of hitting up Sam’s Club again for a couple things.  I know I will be eating out. 

I’ve got the rest of today on my hands.  I plan to go visit Red Lobster.  Have a bowl of Clam Chowder and the Flounder Dinner.  It sounds good I only hope that service is better.  I’ve got two in the area by me in opposite directions.  I always go to the one that I went to with my spouse but if service sucks then I will switch next time to the other one. 

Cats are both fine.  We have had some play time.  They have been brushed and nails trimmed.  They just love to be by me and Rudy is in my lap as I’m typing this.  He is trying to sleep it’s the only time he wags his tail when his eyes are closed.  Sometimes he does it with force and other times it’s gentle like it’s a reflex.  I do wonder what they think sometimes. 

Take care, stay warm & well.  Talk with you all again soon!

Man Candy - Stud's for EOY

Last Words for 2025

This year feels like years past when writing this post, it’s all a blur.  I’ve had some high high’s this year with 2 ride alongs with different police agencies, being able to donate money to make a difference in kids & family’s Christmas’, seeing movies that I enjoyed, taking time off, asking a hot waiter for a date only to find out he was straight.  You might think that it belongs under the low lows, but it was exhilarating for me. 

Speaking of the low low’s most recently this month with find out that a former co-worker committed suicide months ago, a former porn star I liked did the same and then a former porn star & only fans creator was killed in a motor vehicle accident.  Add to that not winning the lottery, the cat food shortage earlier this year and what came to me recently in the shower no performance bonus that I was promised this year as well as the fact I bought two what I consider expensive gifts for the cats and they want nothing to do with them. 

It’s been quite a year and now it’s time to button it all up and put it in the past as we move forward to 2026.  Like last year I hope this time next year I have a man to celebrate with and that I will meet him this coming year, sooner rather than later.  It would be nice to win the lottery but absent of that I’ll settle for buying a new vehicle.  I think this will be the year that happens.  That my job continues unless of course I win the lottery then who cares.  That both of my cats as well as myself will remain in reasonably good health and that we will continue to comfort and entertain each other. 

My wish for you is continued health, happiness and prosperity.  Be kind to others as were all going through something even though it might not show on the outside.  I say that as I really want just to bow out of life, existing seems meaningless to me at least right now.  It might be a bit of the winter blues or depression, but life has very much felt that way for me ever since my spouse passed.  Yet I’m still here and continue to amaze myself by not only pressing on but with some of the good things that happen to me.  It’s one day at a time or hanging on for one more day in the hopes that things will go my way, despite how tireless that seems. 

Here’s hoping that 2026 will be the year that only good things happen to all of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Free

Morning … Apparently I am free of a boss this week, looks like he decided to take the week off.  I checked with my co-worker and even he was caught off guard by this.  We both knew he was talking about taking some time but he didn’t clearly define it or mark it on the calendar like we have to.  I guess that’s the advantage when your a boss. 

Yesterday was way busier than I had expected it to be.  Thus far today is all quiet and if it stays that way I won’t complain, despite it making for a long day I really am okay with it.  I honestly don’t want to work at all.  Had a rough nights sleep.  You’d think that would have hit me the day before I had to come back but nope, it hit me last night. 

Supper was store made Spaghetti with meat sauce.  I made it until 8p before I felt the desire for a snack.  Grabbed a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup and washed it down with lots of water.  That took care of me for the evening. 

I had laptop issues with my anti-virus and fought with that much longer than I wanted to.  Mora clung to myside which didn’t exactly help matters but after a couple hours I got things squared away with the computer and Mora.  She was waiting for treats, which I had passed out earlier.  I guess she forgot about them.  Once I led her in the kitchen my troubles were over.  She nibbled on them and then jumped in bed like a good girl. 

I’ve got some kind of a winter itch on my chest.  I scratched it at first and that only made things worse.  I’ve put some anti-itch cream on it but that stuff doesn’t work well for me.  I plan to try to scrub it out in the shower.  I used to get this really bad all year long but now it only creeps up on me once or twice per year.  All I know is it feels a lot like poison ivy the more you scratch the more it itches to the point where it drives me insane.  I just want it as well as Winter to take a hike. 

Today is a much more relaxed day thus far compared to yesterday at this time.  I am hoping for no technology issues on my end today, for me that will be what I call a WIN. 

I think my Thanksgiving friends are doing their open house again on New Years.  However, I don’t have a formal invite and honestly there is tons of food and people in their small house it’s really cramped.  It’s usually a good time as people come and go.  I tend to stick around like glue.  Not sure that I will venture out to it this year.  I am on-call.  Here’s hoping they don’t call the cops to check on me again.  I will be listening on my scanner.  It’s all charged up and ready to go for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.

It would be great to just have one day off of work per week to just lounge and loaf.  I think it would make the week much more palatable.  I know that I could schedule my vacation time to take a particular day of the week off each week.  I’ve got a colleague that does it with Monday’s.  It’s that instead of taking a formal week or two week vacation.  However, he’s always scrambling to play catchup. 

The one thing about time off is the more you have the more you want.  I really enjoyed being able to do what I wanted, not having to worry about a phone chirping and there was no one bossing me around, other than the cats.  I am years from retirement but once I get there I don’t think I will have enough money to survive very long so it’s like I tell everyone, I will be working up until lunch on the day of my funeral.

Well, I’m going to try to take a break to get away from the computer and relax upstairs, perhaps work in a nap if I can, just hope the phone doesn’t call me back, maybe just maybe today will be like a day off I’m all for that. 

Stay warm and take care!

Technology

Howdy!

Trying to get notifications for my work email back on my iPhone proved to be a difficult task.  I’ve got two different alert tones, one for personal email and one for work email.  I like to know where I am getting mail at and besides that if I am doing something else I know if I need to jump to look at my phone.  I wound up wiping my phone and restoring from a backup, then I had a whole lot more work to get my phone’s personalization back to the way I wanted it to be.  Took me the better part of the morning and now that I just finished lunch, I am all set. 

Found out that the boss is out today, not sure if this is just a today thing or if it’s all week or what.  Were supposed to communicate but apparently that doesn’t apply to him.  One thing is for sure having two weeks off makes me desire more to just walk away from working all together.  However, since it’s my income sadly I can’t walk away. 

My mistake making co-worker said that we would chat on Monday, well he’s not called me and I’m not calling him.  I figure if he did his job like he’s supposed to there isn’t a reason for us to chat.  Never mind that I am in the dark on a few things, I am just letting those go for now. 

It’s wicked cold here now.  Yesterday it was in the 60’s and today were 28 but it’s super windy.  The wind started yesterday afternoon and it’s been keeping the cats occupied ever since.  They both perk up and look around when there is a gust of wind, as if there is something that needs their attention. 

Today didn’t go the way I wanted it to but thankfully the boss is away so that helps take some stress off of me.  I’ve put a few things off until tomorrow.  I’m playing on the web for a little bit then I am going up to be with the cats.  I can watch my computer screen from up there.  Much to my surprise there has been a bit of activity today, not everyone has taken the day off. 

Hope your warm and well.  Take care!

 

One Day Left

Sadly I only have 1 day left before it’s time to return to work.  I knew it would go by fast but having two weeks did make the time last longer.  The first week flew by. 

I’ve eaten at all of the places I had on my list.  I’ve been to all of the retail stores I needed to visit that were on my list.  I’ve knocked out a good portion of the chore list I had for myself.  There was some stuff I didn’t get to but that’s okay it’s waiting for me and I know it’s not going anywhere. 

Christmas was a clusterfuck.  I didn’t get any invite to my friends house until 8a on Christmas day.  The timing just sucked so I decided that I wasn’t going to go.  I also wasn’t going to bother calling or replying back to the text I got.  I was pissed.  It felt like inviting me was an after though or something last minute that just didn’t get done.  As if I can’t make other plans. 

Well my little plan of ignoring them and not going kind of backfired on me.  They called the cops to come check on me to make sure that I was still alive.  I knew the cops were coming I had my scanner on all day Christmas, something that I do every year and I will do it again on New Years.  They took their sweet ass time getting here and once they arrived I stepped outside to chat with them.  They never asked me for ID.  That was a little concerning but that’s where they draw the line.  They did their job and they don’t follow up with the person who called unless something is awry.  I thought about ignoring them because there is no law that says you have to answer your door regardless of who’s knocking.  However, that could have led to them coming inside either with a key or forcing there way in.  I just as soon avoid that drama as well as the potential for damage. 

Anyway, I called my friend back and told him that since I didn’t hear form him I got a pizza earlier in the week and I’ve been snacking on that and just chilling at home.  I was actually watching porn.  He apologized for the mix up and the lack of communication.  However, he told me that I should have followed up.  Nope, I don’t go where I’m not invited to and I’m not trying to insert myself.  If you want me there then damnit invite me and don’t wait until the last fucking minute to do it.  I wound up going over there and we hung out for a while and chatted.  They talked me into coming back yesterday (Friday) for Christmas with just the 3 of us.  They had Prime Rib and I told them I wouldn’t eat that I don’t like it.  So they went out to get ham.  It was a very small meal compared to Thanksgiving but we had lots of conversation and I wound up leaving way later than I wanted to. 

I did make it to the office on Christmas Day and much to my surprise there wasn’t anything waiting for me.  I threw away my 2025 calendar and came back home.  No one was there but me and I kind of figured that is the way it would be, I like to slip in and slip out going unnoticed.  I’ve already checked email and got my inbox cleaned out.  I do have a few things to do on Monday but for the most part unless there is something that is waiting as a surprise, it won’t take long to get to the point where I am caught up. 

My vehicle has had many miles put on it over the last two weeks.  I’m pretty well done with running.  Have to make my usual Sunday trip out in the morning and then a trip out in the late afternoon for supper, then I will be done. 

Today I went back to a place I had lunch with a friend at last week.  I got what he ordered.  It’s called a Pony Shoe.  It’s a hamburger, topped with chili, fries and homemade cheese sauce.  It was a decent ride out there and back but well worth it.  I could have gotten the same thing but larger it’s called a Horse Shoe.  I will be going back!

Not sure about your neck of the woods but the weather here is wacky.  It’s unseasonably warm.  It cools off a little bit at night and we have fog or dense fog, which isn’t the most fun thing to drive in.  We are headed back to the deep freeze but it’s a slow decent. 

Cats have been enjoying the extra attention I have been able to give them.  Bought the last cat food of the year yesterday.  Last night Rudy just like last time, knocked the new bag of dry food off the table and tried to open it with his claws.  I woke up to a mess and I was not happy.  The crime had RUDY written all over it.  Well he got more dry food, way more than he wanted.  Next time I will leave the new bag of dry food in the garage until it’s closer to the time for me to open it. 

I did waste away a bit this morning and enjoyed myself relaxing and watching TV with the cats.  However, I got to a point where it was like you need to get up and get moving, so I did.  Working on some of the laundry now and I plan to finish up tomorrow. 

Hope that you had a great Christmas.  I wish that I had another week off but I know at the end of the day you eventually have to go back sometime.  I did buy lots of lottery tickets with the hope that I wouldn’t have to return but I didn’t win anything for the $30 that I spent.  I buy tickets with the hopes that my luck will change but I think that I am destined not to win big in the lottery and also not likely to find a man.  However, I still hold out hope for both. 

Thanks for stopping by, hope you enjoyed your visit.  We will get back to regular posting next week so long as I’m not too terribly busy with work.  I will be on-call so that should be extra fun (not).  Take care!

Monday

Feeling a bit depressed today.  Still looks like I will be alone on Christmas. 

Wanted to attend a visitation for a lady who passed away, she ran a business that my grandparents frequented.  The lady is also a relative to my Thanksgiving friends.  However, I called the dentist and had an afternoon appointment. 

I was hoping that the dentist would just smooth out the rough edges and we could call it a day.  Well that sort of his how things worked out.  Turns out I didn’t break the tooth it was part of the filling chipped off.  There is a divot that she can get to without drilling out a part of the old filling and replacing it.  For now were leaving it as is.  If it bothers me or breaks further I’m supposed to call for an appointment to get that work done.  I don’t like the divot but the edge was smoothed out so I think it will be okay or so I hope. 

Got the car washed on the way home, there was supposed to be a special gift waiting for me since I subscribe to the clean car club, but I got no gift and didn’t see anyone passing anything out.  Hey, I broke even on my membership.  To do that I have to have 2 washes in the month, anything else after that is just gravy for me. 

The cats sense how I am feeling and they are super clingy.  It helps knowing they love me but it’s not the same as being with a human.  I’m so glad I have them. 

Checked in at work, things appear to be calming down a bit, which is good.  Hopefully, that trend continues.  Only time will tell. 

Went to Olive Garden for supper.  That’s the last restaurant on my list that I wanted to visit while on vacation.  Since I do believe I am going to be alone on the holiday, I am heading for pizza tomorrow so I will have something quick on hand to munch on.  If I am alone I will make a trip to the office just to get out of the house and check my desk. 

Purchased a few lottery tickets with the hopes that I can actually win.  I’ve got a theory that no one wins off a quick pick, but I know that’s false.  So I picked my own numbers for one ticket and then got a quick pick for the other ticket.  I still figure that my chances are the same regardless if I played or not, I’m probably out the money but it’s nice to have a tiny chance, better than nothing.  I’ll bet if I would win big that lots of people would be beating down my door and my problem of finding a guy would be over.  I’d love to be able to quit my job, travel and generally do what I wanted without any concerns or having to answer to anyone but the cats. 

I am still enjoying freedom from work but know that will soon come to an end this time next week.  Not looking forward to that. 

Called to argue with the cable company today about the price I am paying for my internet.  They told me that I have been a customer for 27 years.  The only way to lower my cost of internet is to add TV and then my entire bill would drastically increase.  I explained that I wanted to lower my bill and not add any other services.  They told me there was nothing they could do for me now but if I would have called last week they could have helped me.  WTF!  I plan to call back and I’ll bet if I told them I wanted to cancel service they would come up with some 11th hour magical deal to try to keep me.  Cellular Internet has come a long way and they have competition.  Just think about how much money they have gouged out of me for 22 years.  I say that because for 5 years I had an employer that paid my internet bill in full.  The cost has always been outrageous and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  New customers seem to get all of the great deals but like any deal it’s only temporary eventually it expires, they pull the rug out and you pay the higher price.  My way of thinking is that companies that provide a services like internet and cell phone should reward their loyal customers, we got them to where they are now but they quickly forget.  I’ve already reached out to a new company that is supposed to be coming to the area, when they get here I am jumping ship.  I hate the cable company just like I hate the phone company. 

Hope you had a great day.  I kind of loafed a bit and now that it’s late it feels like I wasted a day but I consider it time well spent, taking care of me.  I just need to get back to my list of things to do to be able to cross everything off my list by the time my vacation is done. 

Take care!

Sunday

Today has been an okay day.  I’m still a bit bummed about my crush, who just wants to play games.  He never did respond to my message.  I did a bit of research and turns out if you block someone on an iPhone the message shows as delivered even though it never was.  It stays that way forever.  I don’t know if he blocked me or just left my message unread.  I made the decision tonight to block him on my phone and I took his number out of my contacts.  I have no plans to ever walk into that Cracker Barrel where he works.  I know I will be tempted but nothing good will come of it so best to just keep it moving. 

Rudy woke me up for breakfast and he was 15 minutes early but he got me out of a bad dream.  I wasn’t eager to get up but did just that because I know it’s just not a good thing to keep The Salesman waiting. 

I headed out and grabbed breakfast.  Picked up a few things from the grocery store.  Chatted with my favorite cashier and then moved along to fill up my gas tank.  Came home, put everything away.  Then turned off my phone and got naked.  Watched TV and eventually went back to bed. 

An hour later I had to get up to pass out lunch for the cats.  I grabbed a snack and watched a little TV.  Eventually I went back to bed and watched a movie on Netflix.  I don’t remember the name but it was about a Holiday Heist, it kept my interest and got me out of my head for a while. 

I headed out to the buffet like I wanted to.  I should have listened to my little voice that said go for pizza instead.  I was eager to go because I was told they have comfort food on Sundays’.  What a waste of 2 hours of my time.  It takes an hour to get there and an hour to travel home.  They had Fried Chicken but only 2 legs.  I ate both of those and part of a breast.  Got some mashed potatoes and a little corn.  Went back to try the yams, they were good so I got a few more of those.  2 sodas and 1 to go – all of that for the low low price of $22.  I was disappointed and if I ever go back I will order from the menu, the buffet is kind of a hit or miss thing.  Saturday is still my favorite day but in the summer.  Haven’t been there in the winter on a Saturday that I remember. 

My vehicle appreciated the exercise I gave it and it preformed well.  I got 28.7 MPG total for the trip.  I’m very pleased with that number.  No way the majority of the new vehicles I’m considering would get that.  Sales people as well as Service folks told me there is no break in period for an engine, this was back in 2017.  Modern vehicles just don’t have that it was a thing of the past.  Well I’m here to tell you they were full of it.  I got average numbers at first but once I hit 50 thousand miles, the MPG started getting way better.  There still is a break in period for every gasoline powered engine.  I’ve not driven an electric vehicle.  I know they go stupid fast and are very quiet.  I just don’t want to have to always worry about charging.  I’ll keep my gasoline engine for now that infrastructure is already in place and highly popular. 

Rudy and I are waiting for the dryer to finish so that we can head upstairs.  I need to make the bed, then grab a shower and I can call it a night.  I am relying on him to wake me early, which I’m certain he will.  I need to call the dentist about my chipped tooth.  My tongue keeps running over the sharp jagged edge.  My hope is that they can smooth that and then I will be done.  If my plan works out there should be no needles involved.  It’s not bothering me I can still eat but I am concerned by leaving it as is I could do more damage and that wouldn’t be good.  In case your wondering it’s the tooth on the top left side all the way in the back, the very last one.  There is a filling in it already and I remember all too well when I got that work done, it was like 3 layers deep, took forever and I needed serious numbing.  I know that Dentist like to remove the old fillings and put in new ones, hopefully I can avoid all that and just go with my simple plan.  I’m not a pro and that’s why I am going to the dentist, they are the pros and I know they will steer me in the right direction even thought I might not want to go that route. 

Hope you had a great day!  Talk with you all again soon. 

Bad Idea

This morning I went to Cracker Barrel and saw my crush.  I sent him a text message while I was there letting him know that I was still available and that he looked really good.  He’s apparently come out of his shell a bit more and now has painted his nails.  He also wore some Levi’s that were quite flattering for his amazing ass.  Fuck, I’ve got it bad for this guy.  The heart wants what the heart wants and there is no stopping it.  I figured one last try.  When he came to deliver my bill I asked him if his butt was vibrating.  He said yeah a while ago, then he put it together, oh you sent me a message.  He said it would be a bit before he could read it.  They were really busy. 

Much to my surprise he texted back a Thank You but he dodged the question about getting together.  So I sent back a much more direct message letting him know that I’d like to get to know him better.  It’s been radio silence and the message has been left unread.  I don’t think I’m getting a response and so it’s a hard no just he’s not man enough to say it. 

I realize I am chasing him and that I shouldn’t do that but again it goes back to the fact that I have it bad for him.  I love Cracker Barrel’s food but I avoid going there just because there is the possibility of running into him.  He’s caused me a lot of pain and sent some mixed signals.  Well, unless he manages to text me back I’m never going to that Cracker Barrel again so I won’t run into him.  He lives in the area but our paths have never ever crossed anywhere but the restaurant. 

Rejection is a tough pill to swallow but it’s a part of life.  You don’t always get what you want, regardless of what it is. 

When I left the restaurant I was feeling pretty good, so good that I drove to a dealership to test drive a vehicle.  I pulled over to check their hours before I made the trip down there.  The web said they were open.  However, when I arrived there were people inside but the sign on the door said they didn’t open for another half hour.  It was cold out and no way was I waiting a half hour.  I took it as an omen, keep what you have for now.  The real only reason that I’d like to make a move now is because of special 0% financing.  That’s not as common as it was years ago.  However, I honestly don’t want to jump back into car payments.  The plan today if it had materialized was just for a test drive.  If I liked it then I would have talked a bit more, found out what bureau I needed to thaw my credit on and would have confirmed that 0% was still available.  You can’t go any lower than 0%.  However, it just wasn’t meant to be for now. 

I came home and started in on things I wanted to accomplish.  The dishes needed to be unloaded from the dishwasher and a new load was waiting to get loaded.  Took care of that.  Then on to the cat’s water fountain, they made a mess of things and it was time to clean it and change the filter as well as add fresh water.  Knocked that out.  Next it was on to a hallway closet that was full of mostly shampoo and conditioner plus a few other things.  I cleaned that out so much so that I have an entire empty shelf.  I was quite proud of my accomplishments.  By now I was sweating and just wanted to rest. 

Watched TV in the living room with the cats.  Until I got sleepy like an hour later.  Then went to my room to lay down in the hopes of taking a nap.  Well Mora kept me company for a bit and then she left and Rudy came in.  He started making biscuits, it was time for lunch.  I got up and served lunch.  He ate a little bit but was quick to follow me back to bed.  I got on a Swedish Massager that I have, it hurt and felt good at the same time.  Watched more TV and tried to take a nap but my mind went off thinking about how I set myself up to get my heart stomped.  I felt quite alone, despite having a cat in bed with me.  Realizing that I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep, I watched TV.  Rudy got comfy and managed to drift off. 

I started thinking of what I wanted to do with the rest of the day.  I checked off visiting the cemetery to see my grandparents grave.  I knew the area where it was but didn’t remember exactly where they were it took me a few minutes to find them but I wasn’t leaving until I did find them.  Their headstone needs some work.  It’s been hit by a mower and the vase for flowers seems to be missing.  I knew I was going to cry which is partially why I have avoided visiting for so long.  I talked to them as if they could hear me.  Then left.  Off to try a new restaurant.  It wasn’t easy to find but I got there and the food wasn’t the worst but it wasn’t anything special either.  I probably won’t be back but might give them a second chance if the mood strikes me. 

Got the mail, drove around the neighborhood to see who has decorated their house for the holidays.  We have a few but it’s nothing spectacular.  Surprised my neighbor didn’t lite up his house like he usually does.  I do have one neighbor across from me that just put lights on a couple of his bushes and one of them is quite phallic looking.  Maybe it’s my dirty mind or the fact that I think about dick often, but seriously it looks phallic to me. 

Working on laundry, going to try to knock out some work tasks and catch up a little bit.  Then it will be porn surfing time and eventually time for bed. 

Already plotted and planned out my breakfast.  Still thinking of visiting the buffet but also have an alternate idea, if I decide to not go on that far of a drive.  I still have another week ahead of me and I do plan to enjoy myself. 

Still feel lonely and hurt, hopeful (but not really) that he will text something positive back.  I kind of think that I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life and it will just be nothing but fantasy and porn for my sex life.  The upside of that is I can’t get any STI’s or STD’s.  The downside is no human contact and nothing beats the real thing!  I really want to have sex again but more than that I want a companion, someone to talk to as well as listen to.  I don’t think my expectations are unreasonable.  I’ve heard everything from your trying to find love too hard to you need to get on a dating app.  Well clearly not looking and jumping on dating apps yield the same results.  It’s kind of like playing the lottery your chances are the same regardless if you buy a ticket or not.  Yeah you might be really lucky and actually win if you get a ticket but the odds clearly aren’t in your favor, that’s kind of how I feel about the search for a man.

That’s it for now.  Time to head up to pass out treats for the cats and then it’s virtually off to the office for me. 

Hope you had a great day!