Stress

As you can probably tell from the title, it’s been a busy and stressful week.  I’ve been driven to my breaking point multiple times.  I’ve wondered how long it would be before I snapped.  Well that apparently happened this afternoon.  I made a fucking stupid mistake and shutdown 2 domain controllers.  That brought the organization to it’s knees for several hours.  Engineers worked for hours to fix my fuck up.  It wasn’t until about an hour ago that I even realized this happened.  The Director of Networking reached out to me and asked why I was on Domain Controllers today.  My heart sank, I thought I was on end user machines and not DC’s.  Holy fuck, this is certainly an offense that I could get fired for.  I’ve owned up to it and apologized but that doesn’t mean that my employer is bound to give me a 2nd chance.  However, I hope that they make an exception in my case and I get another chance.  I probably am blowing this up a little bit but my job is everything to me and I can’t afford to lose it. 

Outside of that it’s been business as usual.  Work, Eat, Sleep.  Hopefully, next week will be uneventful.  I’m up late tonight for work, were closing an office.  Can’t do anything until the stroke of midnight.  Waiting to act is painful because I want to go to sleep but have to force myself to stay awake. 

Sleepy Saturday

Made it to c the eye doc.  My prescription changed a little bit, as per usual he said I could get another year out of my glasses.  However, if I wanted to I could get a new pair.  I came prepared with a couple of items but 1 was a child’s frame so that’s out.  The other was a sunglass that had a curved fit to it, you can put regular lens in it but based on feedback I was talked out of that one.  So the lady found something in plastic by Izod or Oakley not sure which one.  It’s super bright blue which is what I wanted.  She ordered in the frame in two sizes and I’ll be back there to check them out when they arrive.  Cost with insurance will be $216 which isn’t horrible but it is expensive to keep doing this every freaking year. 

So I talked with the doc about conjunctivitis in my right eye.  It’s just aggravating to wake up in the morning to have one of your eyes close to glued shut.  Then you rub it and that junk gets in your eye and it feels gritty.  It’s a nightmare that I have lived with as a result of initiation in High School when some stupid girl put mascara in my eye instead of on the lashes.  I got one hell of an eye infection then and with some drops that cleared up.  Then as I got older this problem started up and it isn’t getting better.  Turns out there is a drop for this it’s a steroid and antibiotic mixed together.  It’s still under a patent and as you can well imagine it’s expensive as all get out.  I got a sample and will give it a try for a week, if it seems to work I just ring up the doc and he will phone in a prescription.  If I get this, it will go to the pharmacy at work and I have already done my homework to get a coupon to reduce the cost even further. 

I’ve done battle with my tires today.  The dealership always sets them back to 35 and my ride felt lopsided.  I put in a little bit of air and went for a ride.  That wasn’t good enough so I have all of the tires back to 40 which is 5 pounds over but that seems to work for me.  I’ve done this with most every vehicle I have had.  On the lemon car it worked against me because it created feathering or a bald spot but I just think that was part of the make up of the car, everything about it was cursed from the day I bought it.  Oddly enough I do miss it a little bit.  It was a sharp looking vehicle. 

In case you can’t tell I like expensive things and I’d be considered high maintenance but I take care of myself how I see fit.  Cars never appealed to me but now it’s like I woke up and I now I want to trade vehicles all the time.  I have not the money for it but I do have the desire.  Thankfully without the money and the fact that I froze all of my credit reports I can’t make any rash decisions to buy.  I really like what I have it’s nice and I’m super proud of it and the fact that some how I have made it all come together. 

Marv seems to have an inflamed knee and he is walking funny.  He’s always had a hitch in his giddy up but this is more pronounced.  However, he managed to jump on the couch for the first time in a while.  I talked with him about it and he just looked at me like what.  I am watching him I may take him to the vet but I know the first thing they will want to do is an x-ray and that is an easy $100 if not $120.  I just don’t want to lose him and at the same time I don’t want him to be in pain.  That might be what all of his crying is about. 

Got my pizza on today.  I went to a place where I met a friend a few weeks back.  I ordered something different with salami and ham it’s super greasy and a little on the spicy side but it’s good.  I made sure to get the large so that I could make a couple meals out of it.  Hand tossed crust is what makes the difference.  Plus the boys spinning the dough were really good looking.  It wasn’t cheap but it was good.  They had awesome desert as well but I passed on that this time. 

I went into Target to grab a couple things and I’m still amazed that I dropped $80.  Money spends so easy but is so hard to earn.  I’m good to make it to the grocery store, the gas station and breakfast tomorrow after that I will be looking forward to payday. 

It’s another hot day here.  Off to surf the web and pass some time before it will be time to head up stairs and spend more time with the family and another day will have turned to night.  I do hope all is well in your world.  One more day of peace and quiet before I go back to the rat race.  I still haven’t logged in to check on mail and I am going to try to wait until Monday morning.  It will be one hell of a surprise but better to deal with it at work than at home. 

Talk with you all again soon.  Be well!

Friday

I managed to fall for another series, this time it was produced by Amazon.  It’s called Goliath and there are 2 seasons.  Billy Bob Thornton play the lead character who is an attorney.  He takes on 2 difficult cases.  The first season isn’t terribly as bizarre as the second season is.  It’s oddly compelling TV and like masturbation and potato chips the more you get, the more you want.  I am ready for season 3. 

I did get my vehicle serviced today.  I chipped a wheel in a couple places.  It looks odd because none of the other wheels are impacted.  I caught a curb a couple weeks back and believe that is what caused the damage.  I’m not happy about it but I am also not about fixing it either.  It’s not major damage.  Outside of that everything else checked out fine and I got fresh oil.  So now another 5 or 6 months and it will be back again for an oil change.  I do have to go back in September to get pain & fabric protection re-applied.  I know it will take an hour plus because they have to scrub the inside of the vehicle.  I will probably be asking for a loaner on that trip because I don’t want to be held hostage.

I got a nap in and just as I was falling asleep the fucking phone rang.  I wasn’t happy about it either.  It was my silly eye doctor confirming my appointment for tomorrow.  I don’t get all of the follow up phone calls to confirm appointments.  I’m a big boy and when I schedule something I don’t tend to forget it.  It goes on my calendar and I am constantly looking a week or two ahead so I know what’s coming up.  I guess there are a lot of forgetful people in this world and some day I will probably be one of those people but for now thankfully I have my memory intact. 

I took my work email and calendar off of my phone for the day and that was so nice.  I did check on email this morning while I was waiting for my vehicle and it was already starting to pile up.  I can only imagine that I have a nice pile of it waiting for me when I decide to login. 

Next week is going to suck because it will be hella busy.  First, I am on-call for the entire week.  Second, my more knowledgeable counterpart is on vacation and out of the country for the next 2 1/2 weeks.  Which means it’s the boss man, me and stupid.  Third, we are launching a phishing campaign next week and all of that is in my hands.  Fourth, we sold off one of our offices so I have 10 people departing.  Fifth, outside of those departures there is a high number of regular departures and stupid is taking a good portion of them but I have to double check all of his work.  So I really needed today but I am not anxious to return.  Thus far the only good news about next week is that Friday will be payday and I can’t wait to see my check with double extra juicy overtime pay on top like a cherry on a sundae.  I hope that I can maintain what little sanity I have left and that I survive the week ahead. 

I was going to go out to eat and take care of an errand but it was raining so I opted to stay in and dry.  The cats seemed to enjoy my company.  Hard to believe it but my momma is 16 years old.  Her kids are now 15 years old.  They both had birthdays this week and I rang in my Facebook anniversary it’s been 11 years since I have been on that platform.  Where does all of the time go?  I am so old but yet young at the same time. 

Plans for tomorrow outside of getting my eyes checked and probably spending a small fortune at the eye doctor, I will go out for breakfast and then treat myself to one additional meal out later in the day.  There is some shopping to do and I will grab the mail.  Outside of that unless I get a sudden burst of energy I will probably loaf around here. 

That’s about all I have right now.  This summer heat is an energy drainer and when I am in my vehicle or my home I feel like I am in a freezer and can’t get enough of it.  My body’s thermostat is whacked which came from working in an ice cold computer room 5 days a week for a couple years.  Ever since then things haven’t quite been the same.  I hope that your all staying cool and that life is going well for you.  I need to get upstairs before momma goes postal on me.  She is driving me nuts with her crowing.  Take care and we will talk again soon. 

Da Weekend

It’s Father’s Day weekend.  That means it’s homecoming around here and as per usual it’s the hottest time of the year.  Scary because were not officially into Summer, things can always get hotter.  My grass was cut on Thursday and my lawn is not in the process of dying from being cut too short. 

Friday was a difficult day.  My boss got bad news about his father and had to fly home to see him.  Things don’t sound good.  He says he will be back in the office by Tuesday but I am not so sure about that.  That means that I get to baby sit stupid.  He has already called me once this weekend about how to deal with something.  He doesn’t take time to read and look things over to make an intelligent informed decision.  He just looks to me for the answer, tell me please tell me how to do my job. 

We got word that one of our offices is closing and has been sold off to another firm.  It’s the way the cookie crumbles.  That means there will be some work for me with about 10 or 11 departures.  Stupid has actually been able to process those pretty well, which is kind of a surprise.  He skips some of the tracking spreadsheets but that is okay by me because when he does work with them it’s always fucked up.  I’m okay with tracking and hope that he continues to do well but since he can’t be trusted I still have to double check every damn thing which is frustrating.  He’s been there an entire year.  If he doesn’t have it down by now he will never get it but for some unknown reason to me they are giving him chance after chance after chance.  Oh Vey!

So I had Pizza for supper on Friday night, made it here in the oven.  Ate the whole damn thing in 1 sitting.  Watched Part 2 of The Ranch, a series on Netflix.  It’s got Ashton Kutcher in it, he’s hot in my book even if he is straight. 

Saturday I spent pretty much at home for the bulk of the day.  I got out to get my weeks worth of mail and cat food.  Then went on to Maggiano’s to meet up with a friend.  Lots of hot guys there so that was a perk.  On the way home I locked eyes with a fat dude on a motorcycle and he started reaching for what I was pretty sure was a gun.  That was a little scary but I never saw a gun and I made sure we got separated quickly.  He kept up with me for a while but when I hit the hammer harder my Twin Turbos were no match for his souped up lawn mower on wheels. 

Sunday I did my usual breakfast, grocery run.  Stopped for gas.  My oh my my money spent fast.  I’m lower than I want to be but I think I can cover myself for another week then were back to another pay day.  That check will look really nice with all of my overtime.  Which reminds me I have to go check on something or should I say someone at work.  Finishing up laundry and plan to stay cool, shave and have a nice freshly made Burrito for supper.  Then some ice cream. 

I spent a lot of time with Marv this weekend.  He wanted in my bed but doesn’t want to jump.  Same thing goes for the couch.  He can get down but doesn’t want to get up.  He’s always been a jumper, in fact I made his middle initial a J because that is all he did when he was growing up.  Like springs and it was obsessive.  I just hope he hasn’t hurt himself.  He is due for some blood work but I am putting it off because I am still paying off the funeral for his brother.  Money, time and good food are 3 things I can’t seem to get enough of. 

I hope that all is going well for you.  Thanks for stopping by and checking in to see what I've been up to.  Now it’s off to work virtually and then back to surf the web.  Have a great week ahead.  I’m thankful only 4 days in my work week. 

The Staircase

If you like real life drama crime type movies/series then you should check out The Staircase, which is on Netflix.  I watched Episode 1 and was hooked.  I kept wanting more and more.  It took a serious chunk out of my weekend but I got through the whole series.  It’s a rollercoaster ride. 

I find myself not knowing what to believe after watching it.  I’m not sure of guilty or innocence.  I can tell you that the trial in my opinion was not fair.  There was a lot of evidence that was admitted that should not have been.  When your on trial only evidence that relates to the actual crime its self should be allowed.  There were a lot of fuck ups with the evidence that was allowed but it all comes out a day late and a dollar short. 

Much like a sitting US President, if you watch the person on trial through out the series you will see how it ages him and takes a toll on his health.  Spoiler Alert, I kept thinking they were going to say he passed away but he didn’t. 

This series much like the critically acclaimed Making A Murder series show you how fucked our Justice System is here in the US.  If someone within the system has it in for you and thinks your guilty they can make your life a living hell and you can spend time behind bars for a crime or crimes that you didn’t commit.  Not to mention the mounting legal expenses, you can easily be driven into poverty.  Scary but true. 

Nevertheless it was a compelling and very entertaining series and I highly recommend it to anyone. 

Routine

I enjoy routines they help keep me on track and if all goes well I won’t forget anything.  That said I am tired of the daily routine of work.  It hits me once and a while, most often when I am bored out of my mind.  It’s been non stop for the past couple months but lately I have time on my hands.  How much time are we talking about?  I spent 2 hours organizing email today.  At the moment most of my work takes place in the morning and by the afternoon I am ready for a nap.  It’s been like this for days.  My boss told me to take a hands off approach to things because he wants Mr. Stupid to get more practice.  Fuck it’s been a year if he doesn’t get it by now he’s fucked and so are we.  While I hate the thought of someone losing their job and the same thought of having to start over, I would rather rip the band-aid off and get it done.  Mr. Stupid represented himself as experienced but he barley knows his way around a computer, so I don’t feel terribly sorry for him.  We all know it’s coming but I guess they have to dot the I’s and cross the T’s before they pull the trigger and kick his ass to the curb. 

We had a team meeting today and things got boring so I fell asleep but I didn’t miss anything important.  The boss and one of my colleagues were on the same subject for 30 minutes – back and forth. 

Good news is that I lucked out and I’m not on-call next week.  I agreed to a shift change so that I can be on-call when my boss is on vacation so Mr. Stupid doesn’t fuck things up.  Consequently, Mr. Stupid has to pull 2 weeks of on-call, which I’ll admit is rough but we have all done it before. 

My crabby co-worker is leaving the country for 2 almost 3 weeks, so it will be a nice break to be away from him. 

On a different note, I got my eye exam scheduled and the day before that I get to have the 2nd oil change on my vehicle.  The manufacturer says to change it when it gets to 10% or below.  I’m at 25% and I’m losing 1% per day, so it should be close.  Last oil change was in January so 6 months isn’t bad.  I’m sure this won’t be cheap but if it’s a twice a year event that is not bad at all.  As for my eyes I want new glasses but I don’t want to obsess like I do.  I hope that I can find something easy and not take all damn day so that I can get other things done.  This all happens next week and I get 1 day off extra so a 3 day weekend!  That will be a nice break but not long enough. 

This year, later next month will mark 4 years at the same place.  It feels like I walked in the door yesterday.  5 years usually brings me trouble at any job and it’s the longest that I have ever worked for any given employer.  I hope that this time around it’s different and that things continue to go well when I get to the 5 year mark and beyond.  I really want this to be the last job that I have but I don’t know if I will be that fortunate. 

On to my 4 legged furry friends.  Everyone is doing okay for the most part.  Marv still worries me but we spend time together.  We have a routine that we go through and that involves time on the couch and time in my room.  He still won’t sleep with me if I close the door but I understand.  It hurts a little but I get over it about the time my head hits the pillow.  I still miss Big Boy and I have second guessed myself beyond what I should.  I still wonder if I made the right call but everyone tells me you did.  Comforting as that is I still have to live with my decision and that is difficult  Speaking of the children they will all have birthdays next week.  Guess I’ll have to go get them a Tuna cake.  Father’s day is this weekend and I’m sure they will get me the same thing they have for the past several years … it’s either nothing or a fur ball.  I’d sooner opt for nothing. 

Well time to tangle with the trash, find something to watch for a little bit before I have to make my lunch, pass out medicine and shuffle off to bed.  Thursday will eventually be calling but I so wish it was Friday. 

Hope your all staying cool and doing well.  It’s not officially summer yet but based on the weather it might as well be.  2018 1/2 way over already.  6 more months and this year will be done, just like this post is.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Oh Brother

It’s been the week from hell.  Plenty of overtime and I wasn’t even on-call.  Yes it will look good on a check but my sanity is going.  Got home on Friday and I pretty well collapsed.

Saturday met up with a friend at a pizza place that I had never been to.  It was delicious and since he picked up the tab last time, I got it this time.  Boy I really got it $40 for lunch – that’s 1 large pizza, 2 diet sodas, and 2 pieces of Snickers Cheesecake.  I wasn’t expecting a bill that steep.

I got my haircut and came home.  Rested up with the kids and then after a few hours it was back out to get cat food and some insoles for my shoes.

Then I saw that ivy had taken over part of the back of my house.  So I went out to deal with that.  I convinced myself it was poison ivy and I came in and took a shower.  Still itched but it was all in my head.  Woke up this morning and felt fine until I started thinking about it and I have itched ever since.  My right eye is bothering me a bit but outside of that I think I am in the clear.  Then after my shower I called it and spent time with the kids. 

Sunday woke up early, had some time to kill before I knew the gas pumps at Sam’s club would kick on.  So I just took my time.  Stopped for breakfast, hit up the grocery store and then came home. 

The cashier at the store always asks me for computer advice.  She’s got a Gateway Computer and lost her password.  It’s a WIN 7 machine.  I gave her advice and was prepared to just walk away when she was telling me about her dead husband.  That changed everything.  So I came home and found a password utility that I have that I knew would work for her.  I made her a CD and printed off instructions.  Then hightailed it back to the store and delivered it all to her.  She wanted to pay me and I told her she didn’t owe me anything.  I wanted to be a smart ass and say that will be $2,000.00 but she probably would have keeled over.  It seemed like a fair price to me (not). 

Stopped for gas and I heard this funny noise come from my phone as I hopped back in.  I was almost home and heard it again.  I looked at my phone and it was my brother.  Asking me what I was up to.  I called and found that he was only a short distance away from my place.  He asked to come over and since he was alone I told him okay. 

Wow that threw a monkey wrench in my otherwise boring day.  He sat here for hours and told me all about his relationship troubles.  I told him the same thing I always say, you two need to get apart and stay apart.  It’s not fair to either one of you to keep this going.  Besides that she is freeloading off of him along with her 2 adult children and he is letting her.  She is up to her ass in debt with a credit card here and there.  In trouble with the IRS and just got a major speeding ticket.  He needs to get the fuck away from her and be done with it once and for all.  However, he doesn’t want to be alone.  I told him you will get used to it and the silence is actually comforting at times.  She is not the only fish in the sea and you can always find someone else.  She was having her family over today and he didn’t want to be anywhere around them.  Which I understand but hey it’s your house – what’s wrong with this picture.  I told him I wouldn’t put up with shit like this and if I had me a sugar daddy I would treat him way better than what she is treating him.  He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he’s just all wound up like a clock.  His body is a mess.  He went to the bathroom every 1/2 hour he was here.  I told him that I take a blood pressure pill and I am a diabetic and even I don’t pee that much. 

It was nice to spend the afternoon with him but it was a bit of a time suck and he kept saying the same thing over and over.  I listened and gave advice.  We would switch the subject but it always came back to him and her.  Jesus kick her out already and be done with it.  Less drama for you and maybe you could eat and sleep and who knows you might even pee less.  This time it all started with a loaded questions.  She asked him what he doesn’t like about her.  He told her the truth and she just came unglued and couldn’t let it go.  This happened on Thursday.  He actually had to get a hotel room on Friday night to try to get some sleep, then she called him at 2a and asked where he was.  Like a dummy he told her and guess what, she was knocking on the door within a half hour.  I told him you should have turned off your phone and gone to bed. 

Call me at 2a, if it’s not an emergency or something isn’t seriously wrong I am going to come unglued really fast.  There is no need to phone at that hour unless something is seriously wrong.  Whatever it is can wait until a decent morning hour like 8, 9 or even 10. 

She is complaining because he hasn’t given her a ring and they aren’t engaged.  Uh what the fuck.  Yeah I said it right she thinks he is going to marry her.  He at least has common sense with that and said nope not happening.  She wants him to bundle his car insurance with hers so they are on the same policy.  He thought about that and figured out nope it would just be another bill I would be responsible for.  I told him not to do it, yeah it might be cheaper but if she doesn’t pay and they cancel for non-payment he wouldn’t have insurance either.  Just don’t lump anything together with her a cell phone, car insurance or anything else. It’s fine to buy a meal for her but that is pretty much where you have to draw the line.

While I didn’t get nearly the relaxation and alone time that I wanted I know that I helped out a couple people and that feels good.  The kids didn’t run and hide when my brother stopped by.  Probably because he didn’t ring the bell.  Everyone was relaxed and themselves.  Ruth of course was hiding under the couch because that is what she does on a Sunday afternoon.  She comes alive at night. 

Now upstairs to eat some ice cream, prepare for Monday and relax until it’s time for bed.  Looking forward to seeing John Oliver, hope that I can stay awake for the show. 

Onward to a new week and a fresh start.  I wonder what fresh hell awaits this week?  Last weekend before I am on-call.  So hopefully I can make it count!  Have a great week everyone and thanks for stopping by!

Surprise Pie

Today was massage Thursday at the office.  I haven’t had a massage in a couple months.  There are knots abound in my back and yes it hurts but somehow I still keep putting the left foot in front of the right foot.  Speaking of feet they are killing me as well but I guess this is the joy of aging. 

So I got a knock on my cube door this morning and it was the massage therapist.  She got me a large slice of my favorite pie that they stopped making last month.  Remember I wanted to go but didn’t.  She did it because she heard about Big Boy’s passing and wanted to extend her sympathy.  That was a very nice gesture.  However, as I was eating it I had some doubts the container was a little dirty and my stomach began to ache.  By lunch time all I wanted was my sandwich and a soda.  Stomach is back to normal now but it was touch n go there for a bit.

The hottie that worked for the building management company is no more.  Not sure what happened to him.  I talked with him on Tuesday by email and had another request on Wednesday and when I sent it, I got a bounce back.  That was quite the surprise.  I never got around to meeting him in person, another reason why you shouldn’t put off what you can do today. 

I had my review this week and it was damn good as I had expected.  I was told that I am the hardest working employee my boss has.  Damn straight!  He didn’t put that in my review but if you read between the lines it’s there.  So the pay raise part is a whole mystery.  We won’t know anything until July.  I can tell you that I was submitted for a large (not sure how much) bonus.  It’s still in the approval stage or so I am told.  I think the news is available but they just can’t share it yet.  Best part is they tell us in July but it’s retroactive to June 1.  Good thing I put in that OT last Friday.  I had to stay last night as well.  So far for this pay period I have 8 hours of overtime and I am not even on-call.  Not bad. 

I’m counting on a large pay out and mentally I have it spent already.  Thankfully it’s only mentally spent and not physically spent.  I can tell you I plan to reward myself with a writing instrument, as if I need another but since you only go around 1 time it’s my plan.  Now we just have to wait and see what comes to fruition. 

My more senior level co-worker who has been there forever, decided to bite my head off when I made a friendly call to inquire about an urgent issue.  He was such a smart ass.  I bite my tongue.  I am always helpful but since he is on-call this week he decided that he should take all of the trouble tickets that come in.  That’s fine by me, I told the boss about it and told him unless I received a directive I planned on sitting back and watching the tickets pile up.  Pile up they have, he’s been like an octopus all week long.  I did take one but I knew it would come to me eventually, no sense in delaying the inevitable.  The on-call person is supposed to act like a traffic cop and dispatch or assign tickets but very rarely does that happen.  I would be asking for help this week if I was on-call there is no way one person can keep up with the volume we have had.  Phishing and viruses are on the rise.  So is stupidity because otherwise intelligent and educated people click a link or enter credentials when they shouldn’t.  They know better but they still do moronic things.  Good thing for that or else I might not have a job. 

Well I promised Momma we would go up at 7:30p to watch TV and I have 1 minutes so I’ll chat with you all again soon.  Happy Friday eve. 

Exhaustion & Burn Out

Hey everyone!  I hope all is going well for you.  Seems like we didn’t have any spring and summer is here.  The day starts off mild but quickly goes to wild hot crazy.  My AC has been on for about a month now.  I turn it up when I am away because it bothers the cats and when I get home this place turns into a refrigerator.  My ride is pretty much the same way and even the seat is air conditioned but oddly enough I don’t feel it.  I still leave it on max just because.  As the temperatures continue to rise I’ll eventually be starting my ride up before I enter to cool it down and then I will notice the seat AC.  My seats are leather and that is nice but not in the summer. 

So work this week has burnt me out and I fried my brain.  I took a break for dinner on Friday and then came back to the office.  I worked until 9p.  We just opened up a couple offices and it’s just nuts right now.  I hope that this week things get more back to normal.  First of the month has me scrambling to compose several reports. 

Saturday I did nothing.  I was naked all day long, stayed in doors (of course) and watched TV and took several naps.  It was refreshing.  The closest I came to a computer was my phone.  I never left the main level of the house.  Cats seemed to enjoy it. 

This week I took a pretty big step and came out to a co-worker.  I’ve been wanting to do this for quite sometime and finally I just ripped the band-aid off.  He didn’t think I was gay but he was curious.  He’s younger, straight and engaged to get married.  I had concerns about coming out but he told me that he had gay friends and it was no big deal to him.  I told him about my late spouse and that caused me to relive some of those events.  It was slightly emotional.  He was the 2nd person to say that someone admitted they were gay.  You admit you committed a crime, ate a cookie, cheated, lied but you don’t ever admit your gay.  You come out.  Being gay isn’t a crime.  Something about the phrase admitting your gay just doesn’t set right with me.  Oddly enough my move brought our friendship closer.  He realized that he was given an honor of trust by me, because I don’t just tell anyone, I tell those that I trust and that spoke volumes!  Exactly what I wanted it to do.  Glad it was well received. 

So here we are again at a Sunday.  I woke up at 6a and took care of breakfast for the kids.  Then sat and watched porn, then a few TV shows and finally I got my lazy fat ass up and shaved and showered.  Then it was time for pills and getting dressed.  Out the door I went to IHOP.  Chicken Fajita Omelet with Double Blueberry Pancakes and a Diet Pepsi (yuk) to wash it all down.  Got up to the counter and I was boy crazy and the waitress asked me how my food was and I said fine, how was yours.  She capitalized on my error and gave me a smart ass response back.  Yeah whatever.  I was more interested in the guy behind her than her. 

Then it was on to grab the mail, groceries and pick up some cat food.  Dropped $95 at the store.  Then to the car wash and gas station and finally home.  When it was all said and done I actually dropped $165 but that’s for everything.  This was one of those paychecks where I oddly enough had 5 hours of overtime so I have plenty of money left over.  I want to save it but then I go and spend it.  My next check will look nice and so will the one after that. 

Turns out that we should have our reviews this week and that will give me the information I really care about and that is how much more money will I be making.  That will be a turning point for me.  I just hope they really make it worth my wild. 

Well upstairs I guess and time to wind down a little bit, prepare for Monday and enjoy what little time the evening has left for me.  No doubt that will mean Marv will be by my side soaking up as much attention as I will dish out.  I love that cat and feel so sorry for him.  He is really lost without his brother but he didn’t shutdown as I feared he might.  The cashier at the grocery store offered me a black kitten, she has 4 of them.  I said nope the inn is full.  I’d love another cat but truth is I would be looking for a replacement for Big Boy and he can never ever be replaced.  Try as I might I’ll never find another cat like him.  So better off to keep the peace and let the family enjoy themselves.  At least I know what to expect with them but every now and then they throw me a curve ball. 

Here’s hoping this week is less stressful, there is more down time, more chit-cat and that Friday comes around again soon.  Best thing about Monday is that I won’t be on-call.  Got 2 weeks of freedom, then here we go again. 

I wish you all the best for the week ahead.  Thanks for stopping by and checking on me.  I’ll talk with you again soon.

No Phone

Last night I was watching a 20/20 special about Digital Addiction.  It centered around too much screen time, be it for kids or adults.  One guy worked in IT all day long and then would come home and spend his evening in the basement playing video games.  While his wife was upstairs with their kids tending to them.  Another teenage kid would come home and play video games into the wee hours of the night.  A teenage girl was obsessed with her phone.  They all under went therapy for their “addiction”.  It was interesting to see.  I could relate a little bit to the story. 

This afternoon I went out to grab a pizza and some cat food.  I was out of my driveway and well down the street and there was no music playing.  Then it hit me, I had no phone.  I could have easily gone back for it but I opted to press on.  I felt a little vulnerable in that if something would have happened I had no way to call for help.  I sat in the pizza place just staring into the air.  It was then that it really hit me.  I was lost without my phone.  No surfing, scrolling or checking up on anyone.  Then I thought about the story from last night and it hit me.  One author wrote a book and referred to screen time as Digital Heroin.  That was a shock term used to wake people up and get their attention.  Yeah it can be addictive and it can destroy your life just like any addiction can. 

I think that if you lose sight of reality that this can easily be an obsession and then turn into an addiction where it doesn’t matter how much you get, you always want more  Sort of how I feel with money. 

I love social media, it can be used to call out companies and get better customer service.  You can do lots of other things with it, both good & bad.  However, you have to realize anything you post is going to live forever.  Because of this, you have to be careful what you post, as well as who you interact with.  When I have free time I love to pass it with my phone, checking out social media. 

I also can’t do my job without my phone because of 2 factor authentication.  It’s required for multiple systems I get into.  I have it enabled in my personal life as well. It is great protection, even if someone has come up with a way to defeat it.  You had to see that coming.  No matter what security or safeguard is implemented, there is someone working to break it, and there can be big money in that or you can just take the credit for the thrill of it. 

I’m back home and looking at my phone as I type this.  Nothing happened and I didn’t need my phone but rather wanted it.  I’m glad to be safe.  Earlier this week I called in a chain reaction auto accident involving 3 cars that had happened within minutes of my getting through traffic.  I blocked a lane of traffic and provided vehicle descriptions, license plates.  I was talking a little fast and was asked to slow down.  I realized I was talking to a person and not a super human, they can only type so fast.  They asked me if I wanted the officer to contact me, I said no but I’ll give you my name if you want it.  That wasn’t necessary.  Even though no one realized it and no one knows who I am, I am glad that I was able to help those people in such a small way.  They were all checking on each other and I had help on the way by the time they were done talking.  Then they realized it was time to call for help.  I didn’t stick around because I didn’t see anything and I needed to get to work.  If it wasn’t for my cell phone I would have never been able to do that.   While I would rather share my idle time with a person than a phone right now it’s one of many options I have.  Just wanted to throw this out there.  Think about how much time you spend with your digital companion (aka phone, tablet, computer).  Kind of interesting when you stop and think about it. 

I like helping people.  I like technology for many reasons.  Shame it hasn’t helped me find a man but I’m still holding out some hope.  Happy Sunday.  1 more day to go. 

Holiday Weekend

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!  Things started out right because they closed our parking garage, which caused everyone to leave early on Friday.  It’s been a hell of a week and it was nice to get a jump start. 

It was announced today that we have two additional offices opening.  One is nothing but office space and didn’t come with any people.  The other comes with around 24 people.  I had to set all of them up.  The notice came on Wednesday and by Thursday morning I heard all of the complaints because they weren’t setup.  This is a manual process and requires me to jump through many different systems.  I can setup 1 person if I have all of the information in about 45 minutes.  Now factor in interruptions from my primary job as well as trying to track down information on these people and there you have the reason why this wasn’t magically done!  It is done now but it took me really 2 days and the bulk of the work was done on Friday.  I had black from my keyboard on my palm, I guess my fingers and hands were on fire.  Today there is a lump and it’s quite sore.  Never had anything like that before.  Obviously, I can still type so all is good. 

Friday night I came home and knew I had to log back in to setup our card access system for the holiday.  Otherwise doors would unlock and that could be bad for business, especially when there isn’t anyone in the office.  Then I got roped into dealing with a Phishing email, even though I wasn’t the on-call person it didn’t matter to the big boss.  He’s stopped including the dummy and only writes to me and my other counterpart.  That is the first sign that the dummy is likely on his way out.  I say that because when his predecessor left, as soon as she turned in her notice we started getting email from the big boss and she wasn’t included.  I really don’t want to see anyone lose their job but if it was ever deserved I’d say he would be the perfect reason why.  It is more than apparent now to multiple people that he is in way over his head.  The alligators are nipping at his ankles and it’s only a matter of time. 

I also got word this week that one of the hot guys I work with and have a major crush on is leaving.  I was devastated.  He is so cute and we have a decent working relationship that I will miss.  There never ever was a chance of the two of us being a couple because he’s straight and has a girlfriend.  Plus he’s a co-worker.  Another guy in the office that I have a good working relationship with is also leaving.  I knew that was coming and it sucks a little bit but hey everyone has a family to support and they have to do what is right for them.  Sometimes that means a new job.  Both of these people had offers fall into their laps and they simply couldn’t refuse them.  Neither of them were looking for a job.  Kind of interesting how it all came together.  I’m happy for them. 

As you can well imagine I was exhausted when I got home on Friday night.  I had 0 time to look at social media.  I did that while I was watching TV.  Then I found out there was going to be a great orgy scene released by one of the porn studios that I subscribe to.  I managed to stay awake until 11p and the scene was out.  Watching that was fun and probably the most enjoyable thing I did all day long.  I need to do that more often!

Enter Saturday… I finally scumbled to the call of the Gator and rolled out of bed.  I fed them and got dressed.  I wore one of my gay t-shirts with pride colors on it.  It felt good!  I went back to Steak N Shake and saw my favorite waitress.  She has been wondering about me.  I told her I thought I could handle the rejection from her co-worker but it got to be too much for me.  She said well I have good news for you, he quit.  Yeah because he graduated.  I never did ask him a second time knowing full well that he would graduate.  I honestly think I dodged a bullet but he was so cute that it caused my heart to ache.  So I guess it’s back to Chili & Burgers now.  There is a small chance he will be there tomorrow but his name was crossed off the schedule.  Not sure if I am a gambler and will stop by or if I will avoid the place. 

Then it was on to the Hallmark store for cards.  Then over to Target for cat litter.  Then on to grab my weeks worth of mail.  Finally to the cable store to exchange my modem for a new one.  Then back home to children. 

Modem is replaced but still have the same slow speed issue.  I’ve got two lines of service to my house and both show slow.  I’m supposed to get 200mpbs and I’m getting between 70 and 90 mpbs.  The 200mpbs is the slowest speed the cable company offers and I am paying a pretty price for it.  I’d like to get what I am paying for.  They of course made their typical ploy to upsell me and try to get me to sign up for TV and Phone service.  I said no thank you.  Turns out it would cost me more per month to switch, I just wouldn’t have a contract and would actually have more equipment – loosing my whole home DVR.  Again no thanks.  Love that whole home DVR. 

Took the freezer apart to oil a fan that was making a lot of racket.  Now you can’t tell when the fridge runs it’s so quiet.  Nice!  Nothing like 3 in 1 oil garage spray for squeaks.  I’ll be good for about another 6 months and then it will start up again. 

Moving on to the mail, I opened a package that had my diabetic test strips in it.  Turns out I was sent strips that were made for Medicare / Medicaid Recipients.  I wasn’t terribly happy about that.  Those strips are sold at a discount and this provider was upselling them.  I reported it to Amazon and they are going to get my money back.  That wasn’t the purpose of reaching out.  So now I have a product that I was told NOT to use and I have 1 strip left.  It’s not like I test that often anyway but I want to be able to test if I want to.  I was told to place a new order and not use the same provider.  Select the fastest shipping method possible and Amazon would pick up the cost.  Yeah so I found one and shipping for Tuesday was like $68.  Rather than chance it, I opted for standard delivery so I should have them late next week.  I hope I don’t have the same problem with the new order.  Turns out after doing some googling this is a HUGE problem on Amazon and other websites.  I don’t know that anyone is doing anything about it.  I’m also sure that the provider will say oops, sorry we pulled those from the wrong bin.  Yeah I don’t think that was the case.  If they want them back I’m happy to mail them back but they have to pay for the shipping. 

I watched some Live PD and 20/20.  Moved on to For the People.  Really like that show. 

Marv is driving me nuts.  He wants so much attention that I can barley breath.  I love him so much and I know that it’s a tough adjustment for him to be the only feline male on the house.  However, I keep reassuring him it’s okay and he’s going to make it.  He just wants me around and needs me to hold his paw or pet him and then he unwinds like an ice cube melting.  I’m his world.  However, I need time for myself and the other cats.  There is a lot of jealousy and competition for my attention.  It’s like they see who can pester me the most.  They also do silly thins that they know will make me laugh.  I am putty in their hands and they know it.  I still miss my Big Boy.  No one hugs me like he did.  The pain that I had when that loss started has subsided but there is still a hole in my heart for him. 

So I am working on Laundry and Momma wants to go to bed.  Difficult to do when your sheets are in the laundry.  She is used to my normal schedule and now that I have an extra day I want to stay up and play at least for a little bit. 

Tomorrow’s agenda is grocery & pet food stores.  Not sure if I want to top off my tank tomorrow or wait until Monday.  Gas is now over $3 a gallon.  That just happened yesterday.  It sucks because even though my mileage is slightly better the cost makes up for any savings that I would have.  What goes up must come down so I hope prices fall but analyst say that is not likely.  So for that reason and the fact that money is really tight right now I won’t be making a trip for pie that I so desperately wanted, at least not this weekend.  I could pull money from savings but it seems silly to do that all for pie.  I have no idea what I am eating tomorrow or Monday but I can assure you that I won’t starve. 

Best news of the week is that my neighbors moved out.  I hope they sold their house to a nice single gay young man but that is probably a dream on my part.  At least it’s free to dream.  I just hope that whom ever moves in isn’t a jerk or a douche.  I don’t need or want any trouble.  I don’t need to be friends, in fact I don’t really know any of my neighbors.  I like it that way.  I am not close minded so if my new neighbors want to be friends I am fine with that. 

One of the guys I work with hooked me with the series Evil Genius on Netflix.  It’s about the pizza bomber, it’s real life.  It will boggle your mind and carve a hole in your soul.  It’s pure evil and greed.  Interesting but sickening at the same time.  I recommend it but also forewarn. 

Momma is chirping so I am gonna scoot.  Hope that you have a great weekend and that the sun is shining bright.  Seems like we only had a day or two at most of Spring and now were into the dead of Summer.  The only benefit for me is the guys will run and take off their shirts.  So I get to look but not touch.  I also have to try not to wreck my automobile.  It does make the drive more interesting though!

Fun

This weekend was fun.  I hit up the dentist and got my 6 month check up, all good news.  Bad news is they are booked for the rest of the year on Saturday appointments so I won’t be going back until January 2019.  I think I will be able to manage that.

I visited the buffet, it was good to get away but good gravy the gas it took was the most expensive part.  I paced myself and didn’t leave miserable but I was full.  Food was great as always. 

Came back home and got in a little bit of a nap.  Then grabbed cat food and went to the Hallmark store.  It was tough to find just the right card but I think I got it.  I sat down and wrote a letter to accompany the card.  This of course is all going to my former boss.  It was difficult but I got through it. 

Jumped into the 2nd season of 13 Reason Why.  It’s so compelling, it just sucks you right in.  I still have around 5 episodes left, so 5 hours of viewing pleasure.  I’m going to watch more tonight before bed. 

Hit up the grocery store this morning and once again I was a good boy and only got ice cream for sweets.  My sugar is in check and that should make the doctor happy so long as I keep up the pace.  It’s tough. 

Trimmed Ruth’s claws, she protested a little bit but there wasn’t much of a fight.  This time was pretty close to perfect.  I think were still friends if not we will be when the food comes out.  I love her but those claws wow they were something.  7 weeks and we do it again. 

Had a strange dream that we had kittens, momma was trying to nurse them and Taz was the father.  It was very strange and thankfully only a dream.  I don’t need kittens on my hands right now.  Everyone and their mother is trying to get me to take in another cat and I keep refusing.  I had a lady offer me a dog as well.  No thanks Noah’s Animal Kingdom has no vacancy right now. 

I processed the bulk of the new people that start on Monday.  The dummy I work with did 2 of them and it took me longer to double check his work than it did to setup the actual accounts.  My boss finally saw the light and asked me if I wanted to finish them up on my own and I said yes, please.  It was a huge ball of stress but it was better that way.  Sounds like dummy is closer to being on his way out.  I actually found out what his problem is.  There is a female that is within 6 cubes of his and they just flirt all day long.  If I had a guy to flirt with all day long I could see where that would have a negative impact on my job as well. 

Speaking of negative impact, I am behind schedule and the warden is crowing at me.  I guess I should go because Monday will be here sooner than I want it to.  I got a summer haircut and got rid of my side burns.  It looks a little strange but hey it’s only hair it will grow back. 

Here’s to a great week ahead for all of us.  Take care. 

3 months to live

Think about it, if you were told you have 3 months at best to live, after the shock wore off, what would you do?  Thankfully I am not in this position.

I got a phone call on Monday at work from my old boss who is out on medical leave.  Turns out she has 3 months to live and she is not coming back to work.  Hey I don’t blame her on not coming back to work.  The whole 3 months thing sucks.  She has Liver Cancer.  I can navigate my way through difficult conversations and that I did but unfortunately after we hung up and I did some research I said all of the wrong things to her.  She will leave behind a huge void at work, she was the glue that held everything together.  You had a problem, you went to her to fix it.  You need a favor, you went to her and she would help if she could. 

This news has t-totally ruined my week.  She said her goodbyes to me and it was nice to hear most of what she said, even though I really didn’t like the circumstances it was under. 

I sat down and wrote her a letter, edited the hell out of it and then scrapped the whole idea.  What exactly do you say to someone that may only have 3 months to live?  It’s a difficult subject to talk around.  It’s as if there is a huge spotlight on every word you utter.  I am going to look to Hallmark to help me and I will be sending a card to her. 

She has a family with a few kids, one of which is gay.  I’ve chatted with him before and thinking of giving him a call but again I don’t exactly know what to say.  I’ve been down the road before of having a terminally ill family member, it’s no fun. 

Outside of getting back my guy and Big Boy, if I had the power to solve only one problem right now I’d use it to heal her.  Think about that I could make myself a millionaire, bring back those that I care about from the dead, I mean it’s infinite power I am speaking of and to think that I would use that power on her, that should say a lot and I think it does.  She doesn’t deserve this, but I know we all check out of here sooner or later. 

What I don’t understand is why those that I care about are all suddenly dying.  Kind of makes me want to stop liking people but I know that is impractical.

Okay that’s out of my system now.  I’m headed up to wrangle the litter boxes and trash.  Then to sit down and watch TV.  I’m really hoping the lawn guy shows up tomorrow because it looks like my grass hasn’t been cut in a month and it’s only been 3 weeks.  We have had a lot of rain.  I want to avoid any complaints and/or fines, plus it just looks really bad.  Thankfully we have a contract that is enforceable but I honestly think this was a simple mistake, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

I hope all is well in your world.  2 more days until the weekend and then I get to see the Dentist and maybe trim Ruth’s claws.  Cheers!