18 February 2016

Sickness be gone

Well I had my doctors appointment.  Only had to take off my shoes and socks.  He never looked at my feet though, kind of strange.  I got confirmation that I have a bacterial infection.  All the doc had to do was look in my nose and that cinched it for him.  He elected not to repeat the blood work that was already done.  He said that the labs look really good.  However, he ordered an A1C which we need to know how my diabetes is doing.  We talked about moving up some of the cancer screenings from age 50 to age 45 but the doc doesn’t feel that my insurance company would pay for it.  If there are symptoms then that would change things. 

Okay so to vampire time.  I got stuck 3 times again.  Different nurses.  Left and Right arms.  This time the success came from the back of my right hand.  I didn’t want them to do it but they told me that I had really good veins there and it wouldn’t hurt at all.  Such bullshit.  It did hurt and I had a knot on the back of my hand for hours.  I can only imagine what things will look like tomorrow.  When it was all done the nurse called me a cry baby.  I told her that’s me I hate needles they are evil.  As I am pulling out of the parking lot a thought hit me a little too late.  Why didn’t I let them use my left hand since it’s non dominant.  I mean I might not be able to whack off and that would be a very bad problem for me. :)

I got my depression medication changed to a lower dose, the high dose stuff has bad sexual side effects.  I mean it makes me happy but then when I can’t preform I am no longer happy and become frustrated.  Not the way I want to get a work out if you know what I mean. 

Next stop the pharmacy.  Picked up new toe nail trimmers, hopefully I don’t misplace them.  Marvin will be the first to let me try them on him.  They are great for his claws because he sleeps with me and it takes more than a couple weeks before he is able to put a point on them.  When he gets anxious or wants to play my arm usually pays the price.  I also got another antibiotic, which hopefully does the trick.  This being sick is getting old.  All I did all afternoon was cough. 

Finally came home and got to have lunch and feed the children lunch.  Watched some TV and then passed out.  I remember I had a strange dream but don’t remember what it was about.  Waking up really sucked because all of the sinus junk pools in my head and mornings and now apparently waking up from naps is NOT fun at all.  Let me sleep, no pain that way. 

I think I may have mentioned that my auto insurance bill came.  I heard back from my agent about making changes which wouldn’t save that much money.  Now as for a new car if I get an SUV my rates go down but if I get a car my rates go up by more than $100.  That is just crazy talk.  One would think that an SUV would cost more but apparently not.  I know that studies have shown that if your going to be in a car crash your chances of the other vehicle being a truck or an SUV are pretty high.  I want the SUV but the gas mileage is a huge concern.  I am going to pay the bill and be quiet for now.  I have had new car fever for a long time but I have had man fever longer.  I figure get a boyfriend first and then a new vehicle.  Seriously, money is tight now.  It wouldn’t make sense to go buy something new to save on insurance only to sign up for monthly car payments.  I hate car payments.  Someone suggested getting a newer used car but I don’t like that idea.  There is usually a reason why someone got rid of the car.  No matter how nice it looks your inheriting an unknown problem and that could prove to be deadly to your wallet.  You might get lucky but we have well established that when it comes to luck I clearly don’t have it. 

Right now I am super bored being trapped in the house all afternoon.  I mean it was what I wanted but right now I’d love to have a guy to talk to.  I went crazy with my phone and looked at several different apps but deleted everything that was new.  I have 2 basics that I stick with.  I have an account on Grinder but there is no profile, it is just to look and see who is out there.  I psyched myself up to put up a profile and photo but when it came time to actually do it, I chickened out.  Mostly due to the crowd of people that are on the app.  They aren’t all bad but it just doesn’t feel like what I want to do.  That app is made for hookups, which do sound appealing but again in the end it’s not what I am looking for.

Talking with the only guy at work that I have come out to.  He has a friend that he is going to try to fix me up with but he hasn’t talked to him.  He told me that I would need to remind him several times, but it feels more like nagging.  I am reaching the end of my rope.  I feel like I was baited and played – he isn’t going to talk with his friend and that is it.  I have confronted him and he says differently but his actions don’t say that.  Never mind that I have a huge crush on him.  I have been flirting with him a lot and really want him badly but he is married, plus he is a co-worker so there are 2 strikes against him.  Hormones can make you do stupid shit and make bad choices.  I am trying with every fiber of my being not to fall victim to that.  He said you need to get a new shirt and a nice pair of pants and just go out.  Stop worrying that someone is going to slip something into your drink.  Go live your life and have fun because YOLO.  He makes a valid point.  Part of me wants to do that and part of me is scared to death to move forward.  Going on a date does make me nervous but I have done it already so I know that I can do it.  I guess I will just have to force myself to visit a gay bar and see what life is all about.  It won’t happen quickly but it will happen.  I think that looking for love electronically isn’t going to pan out for me and unless I find a different method I am going to be alone for a very long time.  I see that Shane Bitney Crone found love and has been able to move on.  I am happy for him but at the same time jealous.  He is much younger than me and he didn’t spent 1/2 of his life with his late partner like I did.  So we have some stuff in common but our circumstances are vastly different.  Bottom line is this is something that I have to deal with.  It’s time to stop lusting after men I can’t have and going to find someone who plays for my team and is interested in me for me.  Romeo oh Romeo where for out thy Romeo?

I am off tomorrow as well and thinking of going to the movies to see Ride Along 2 and grab a bite to eat.  It will occupy some of my time and help me fight boredom.  It all kind of depends on how I feel tomorrow as to what I do.  My moods change quickly sometimes.  Being sick doesn’t help.

The children are happy that I am home.  We all hung out in my room this morning while I watched TV and waited for time to pass.  We took a nap together this afternoon.  Bear got some belly rubs and attention.  He is spending a lot of time on his back.  Which tells me he is happy, he has loved to sleep on his back since he was a kitten.  All of momma kids like it but him and Marvin do it more than anyone.  Speaking of momma she shit in my room this morning and then threw up.  So she is back on the probiotic.  They are horse pills and I am breaking them in half so she gets a full tablet it’s just 12 hours apart.  Trying to shove the whole thing down her throat would not have a good outcome or so I think.  I am doing good to get her to take 1/2 of a pill.  She is the worst cat to pill.  She is small and can wiggle out and run away from me.  Yeah I will catch her eventually but it’s a struggle that I really would not have.  It upsets her and I don’t like doing that to her but on the other hand if it makes her feel better and not shit in my room then I am all for it.  Funny how they communicate, would be easier if she could just tell me she didn’t feel good instead of making a mess in my room or in a place where she normally wouldn’t go. 

Have a great Friday and a nice weekend.  I am going to try to enjoy myself as well.  I’ve got this weekend and next then it will be back to being on call.  We just enabled two factor authentication at work so logging in remotely requires an extra couple of steps, which is kind of a pain.  I love two factor, it makes me feel more secure and I use it in my personal life.  It’s just another way my phone becomes an electronic leash.  Take care, thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you all again soon.

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