06 February 2016

Progress….I think

Today I woke up and felt slightly better than yesterday.  I am still coughing and blowing my nose.  My nose burns at times, which is something I have dealt with in the past.  I know this is kind of gross but I keep looking at what I am hacking up and the more I looked at it, I see green.  There are times when yellow is there.  I know I need another antibiotic, I am not a doctor but I know my body better than anyone else walking this earth.  So I decided to try the easy route first.  I placed a call to the physician’s exchange.  It took more than 30 minutes to get a call back but I got a helpful doctor who when I told him what was going on, he concurred.  So he called in some Doxycycline.  It’s a baby antibiotic for me, but it’s gotten me out of some jams before.  Satisfied I got dressed and proceeded onward with my day. 




First stop the post office, second stop Outback Steakhouse.  I got a Salad with ranch and Alice Springs Chicken with a Sweet potato.  My taste buds were doing a happy dance and now that I am talking about it they are wanting more.  It wasn’t a cheap lunch but it was very enjoyable.  Third stop the gas station.  Time to fill up the tank and wash the filth off the car.  Fourth stop was the pharmacy.  Then the final stop for a while back home. 


I needed some time to relax.  I was worn out.  I wanted to take a nap but the children made enough commotion that was nixed.  So I got up and went to the hair cut store, I could have waited a week but I figured this would go a long way to helping me feel better.  It was nice to see familiar faces and go to a place where several people know your name.  Then I left and hit up the cat food store.  Came back home unloaded the cat food, started the dishes, cleaned up the house a bit and then it was TV time.  Eventually gator and her mammoth voice told me it was supper time, so I fed them.  Bear was hiding under the couch but the crack of the can brought him crawling out.  So everyone got their dinner. 


I was waiting for the dishwasher to finish.  Someone needed a bath.  Eventually that happened.  I put on my jacket and Bear ran and crawled under the couch, whimpering at that.  Then I pulled him out and picked him up and he really started to cry.  He didn’t like it at first but then I hit the right spot and he was happy but only for a minute.  He moved all around and I believe all of the soap is off of him.  He doesn’t smell now.  I love it.  Wonder how long he will stay that way?  He is happier now that it’s over with and so am I.  I didn’t think I could do it but once again I came through and proved to myself that I am stronger than I think.


I heated up the left over Chinese food and that of course brought everyone to the table.  I told them this has your cousin in it, you wouldn’t want to eat your cousin would you?  I said that is my job.  Seriously, I don’t know what it is but Chinese food is the only thing that I eat that will bring cats from high and low.  It’s only special fried rice.  I saved my fortune cookie to open it at home after I had the left overs.  Drum roll please.  It says “Now is the time for peace in your life.  Go alone with other’s ideas.”  Wow that is spot on.  I have had nothing but drama, my hope is that the start of March will break this cycle and life will be perfectly fine, perhaps even bring me some good news. 


I’ve caught up my financials, since I have been spending money hand over fist.  I have been using part of my state tax refund which I shouldn’t but it is really nice.  My Federal Refund is what is going to make the day and help me to take a huge bite out of credit card debt that I am in.  I look forward to getting that sooner rather than later.  I understand that the IRS is having some computer malfunctions which could cause refunds to be delayed, just my luck. 


So with the advent of HIPPA and doctors as well as health care facilities having to go computerized, I now have on line access to my medical records.  Well that is what they will share with me.  I logged on to the hospitals site to hopefully get the name of the hottie that did my flu test but, it’s not there.  Instead I found the results of my x-ray which are kind of alarming.  It says that there is evidence that I have granulomatous disease.  I never heard of this and am sure I can’t properly pronounce it.  I also have mild thoracic spondylosis.  The disease is hereditary and means that my immune system is weak.  I am wondering if it’s not something left over from my prior pneumonia?  The other thing isn’t serious, bone shift as we get older what I saw on the web said there was no reason for alarm.  Still I am going to talk with my doc about the results whenever it is that I actually see him and not the cunt that I am usually stuck with. 


Speaking of my doc, I logged on and looked at my labs, that is what is ready.  The bigger picture won’t be released for my view until Monday.  I know that the doctor already has the results.  Basically my electrolytes are seriously out of whack.  My cholesterol is high and my blood sugar was seriously high.  Part of this is because I am sick and part of it is because I was on steroids prior to going to the doctor.  The steroids fuck with the blood numbers so I am not worried.  Provided I go through with my physical, I would like to repeat the blood work once the doctor feels the steroids are out of my system, so that we all can have a true picture of what is going on inside my body. 


I have lost 15 pounds between being sick, the pending legal issue I have and the food poisoning that I had.  I am happy to lose weight BUT I want to do it the right way and not because of circumstances in my life.  I drove by Planet Fitness today and really wished they had a pool.  That would have lured me in to join.  There is a health club closer to my house that has a pool but I don’t think they would be as cheap as Planet Fitness.  I am looking for more of a swimming/spa experience and not a pump iron and get sweaty experience.  I know there is at least one good looking guy in the area who says he works out at PF and is looking for a boyfriend or maybe it’s a hookup.  Kind of makes me want to go just for that but nah, I am starting to believe that I am supposed to be alone and that I am probably not going to meet anyone.  I am in one of my break phases where I want to walk away from the search.  No final decisions just yet. 



I am working on laundry, more specifically my bed.  It’s not like I have actual clothes to wash as I didn’t wear much this week.  Unless something goes horribly wrong I suspect that Monday it will be back to work for me.  It’s not what I want to do, regardless of the length of time most people enjoy the time away.  This is what is in my best interest and what will help me establish my normal.  I do have a little bit of fear of getting in trouble for being out so long but I tend to worry a lot about the small stuff. 


Looking forward to breakfast and then grocery shopping on Super bowl Sunday.  I remember we used to wait until the afternoon to shop because everyone would be at home and no one would be at the store.  Problem is if you want chips, cookies, cheese or a deli sandwich you are out of luck.  I will still try my very best to enjoy the day.  Missing my guy and the memories we made.  Depression sucks.  I don’t want to forget him but I am tired of feeling sad and missing him.  It’s all a part of the grieving process and like rain it comes and it goes.  Being active helps quell those feelings.  Still right now I wish I had someone to hold me so that I could just cry it all out.  There is a damn full of tears and it hasn’t burst yet and I can’t say when or if it ever will.


So c’mon dryer get my sheets nice and warm so that I can put them on my bed and climb into it and fall fast asleep for what will feel like a few minutes.  Just 2 places to go tomorrow and then I am home for the day and can do what I want.  Part of me is looking forward to it and part of me really doesn’t want Sunday to come because Monday will be behind it.  I know that Monday will be a bitch of a day but the advantage is time should fly by.  Playing catch up is never fun. 


Hope all is well in your world.  Thanks for checking on me.  Talk with you all again soon!

1 comment:

Jude said...

Glad to hear you're starting on the mend. Keep it up. :)