03 October 2015

Lonely

So I busted my ass to clean this place and whip it in to shape.  Wouldn’t you know it the sales guy for the roof never ever set foot inside the house.  I wasn’t happy about that.  I woke up early and baked Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls.  I cleaned the table, which I haven’t done since LB passed away and got out a table cloth.  The last time the table cloth was out was when I closed on the house last year.  A lot of work and a very sore back for nothing but at least I can be proud of what I see. 

So turns out that I have hail and wind damage to the roof.  I checked my policy and the deductible would be $3 thousand dollars.  The cost for the roof is $6 thousand dollars.  Either way the policy would go down because of a new roof.  However, I would have a claim on file and that would make the rates go up next year.  So I think it’s better to pay the cost of the roof myself.  There is a pipe that is leaking into the bathroom.  I was told that can cause black mold, which would be a mess to clean up and quite costly.  Yeah if they find that I will file an insurance claim no question about it.  I really hope they don’t find anything.  I asked a lot of questions, which is nothing new for me.  I like to know what I am getting myself into.  Turns out the cost of the permit isn’t figured in to the estimate, which really took me by surprise.  Plus this contractor will meet any other estimate and give me a 5% discount.  I asked what if I don’t call anyone else and the job is yours?  They will knock 5% off which saves me close to $400, which is nice.  I am not going through the bid process, I should to be sure that I am getting a good deal but I have trust and faith in the contractor that I selected.  I have applied for financing and if all goes well I will have my money next week.  I won’t break the news to them that they have the job until I have the money.  I am rolling the cost of the roof and the balance of my consolidation loan into 1 loan, I get a little cheaper interest rate but it’s a 5 year loan and the payment is actually a little bit less than what I am paying for the consolidation loan.  The part that sucks is there is a loan fee that comes off the top.  I have a margin of $200 and I have factored in the permit cost of $100 (which no one knows the cost for the permit, but I am sure it won’t be $100).  Hopefully there won’t be anything extra.  Now the hardest part is picking out a color for the shingles.  The sales guy said to get black, but that holds in heat and I am not so sure that I want that.  They have a white that is energy efficient and it’s a choice between that or Chapel Grey.  This roof will last 25 years – which would make me 69 years old.  I have no idea if I will be walking the earth then much less if I will be living here.  I really have the strong desire to move and start life over again but I am resisting that urge.  Sort of like the whole new car thing. 

While I was waiting this morning I looked on the dating app I am on and the perfect guy who was a 92% match appeared.  He had a beard, which is kind of a turn off but looking through his profile we really clicked.  He was younger (32 or 35) so I wouldn’t be a cradle robber.  I reached out and sent him a message.  Now most guys start out with hi how are you or hey sexy … you know something basic but also something bordering on cheesy.  I have my own approach and tell the guy that I like their profile and would like to get to know them.  Some people I tell my name to and other people I do not.  Ever since I have started this the same thing happens.  The guy reads the message and then either doesn’t respond or blocks me.  Makes me wonder what is wrong with me?  Now the problem may not be with me, but rather with my wording.  I am intelligent and want to carry on a decent conversation but I think lines like hi, what’s up or how are you are just boring.  Maybe I should go back to the basics?  What do you think?

Not having a guy and entering in to the birth month of my late partner as well as it being fall makes me lonely.  I think about how I setup our Civil Union Anniversary to be 2 month from his birthday, so he couldn’t forget it.  Clever I know.  Sad that 3 short months after we were united he passed away.  I found myself earlier this week on the way to work and Charlie Puth’s When I see you again song came up on my phone.  I listened to the song and started out fine but by the time it was 1/2 way over with I was driving with tears in my eyes.  Not exactly the best way to start off the day, especially when your driving to work. 

I am scared to start over with another guy but at the same time I am also excited.  There are risks to everything.  Start slow and build from there.  You don’t need to jump into bed on the first date.  In fact I have no desire to do that.  Now if this is the guy of my dreams I am sure my reaction will be different but I really would like to find that special guy to light up my world and me light up theirs.  It would give a whole new meaning to the holidays as well as life in general.  I have come a long way and still am managing to over come adversity.  It’s a very scary journey and major purchases or major decisions make me wish that I had someone who was along with me for the ride and could help ease the decision making process or at least comfort me.

In other news I ventured out to the BBQ place that the guy recommended last week.  It was a nice trip the food wasn’t the best and I can’t say that I will be back.  I should have pressed on and gone to the buffet.  However, I didn’t.  I did go out for supper for Baked Spaghetti which came with a salad and a slice of garlic bread.  Then I had to have desert and dropped $20 which I think was reasonable for what I had.  I wish there were more meat in the sauce but it was really good.  This is the same place I go for pizza, it was a nice change of pace. 

On the agenda for tomorrow is breakfast, grocery stores, gas up the car.  I need to finish up laundry, clean the bathtub and then trim claws.  Yikes!  I look forward to breakfast but that’s it.  The rest of the day involves physical activity, spending money or both.  Then comes Monday and I have to go back to work, that won’t be any fun, but all good things must come to an end.  It’s easy to spend money it’s hard to make it, at least by honest means.  If I were into crime, drugs or both then money might not be so hard to come by but my life would also be in danger.  Better to stick to the honest living thing and let the cards fall where they may. 

Happy Saturday!  Now on to the relaxing part of the day and eventually bed time.  No ac or heat on, the house is at around 72 degrees.  It’s been in the high 50’s and 60’s all day.  Overcast and a little bit of rain.  It’s jacket weather for sure.  Not happy about the extra layer but I knew it was coming.  Oh I forgot the best part of the roof thing, they work on Saturday’s so I don’t have to take time off from work, even though I would like to.  Talk with you all again soon. 

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