10 October 2015

Lazy Saturday

I had no real plans for today.  I thought about venturing to the buffet for a bite to eat, but didn’t make it.  Instead I spent most of the day sleep and watching TV.  It was nice to be able to lay around and not worry about anything or anyone.  The children enjoyed the time together as well.  I’ve got a crick in my shoulder/neck and I thought taking it easy would help.  That didn’t work. 

Around 3pm I ventured out to a new BBQ place a friend told me about.  It was based on the same idea of the place I went to last week, only this was way better.  Cost was reasonable at $9 for a pork platter, two sides and a drink.  I really wanted to order more, but ventured back home after I was done.  I watched more TV and then fed the children and went out for cat food. 

I saw a gay couple shopping for their dog.  They had to be in college, they were super young.  One of them was really cute and the other well not so much.  It was obvious they were gay but no one made a big deal out of it.  I thought about chatting them up to get some dating tips, but that would have probably been awkward for both of us not to mention a little creepy.  I’ve been on the dating apps and I get more messages on Grinder than any other site.  I have no profile, no face picture, just on there to look at photos.  I don’t respond to any of the messages I get.  I really wish that someone sincere would hit me up.  I got a match on Tinder from a Super Like but he hasn’t made any move yet.  On another site I am on I had someone overseas message me and tell me that I was beautiful.  That was sweet but not exactly what I am looking for.  Tonight I caught a glimpse of myself in my computer monitor from glare.  I thought wow who is that hot guy.  I also managed to visit the scale and found that I have lost some weight, from skipping meals.  Pretty good.  I could probably drop a lot of weight that way but food is like my last friend and I can’t say no to it.  Get me a man to substitute and then we can talk. 

I am washing Big Boy’s bed, since he peed in it earlier this week.  One of the girls rearranged the pads and he missed it.  Not his fault.  Everyone loves the bed and throw in a plastic pee pad and they are like in heaven.  It must be comfortable.  I bought it for him to sleep in but if he wants to use it as a litter box, it’s okay by me.  Whatever works and is consistent, which sounds silly but it actually makes life easier. 

So this week Justin Bieber broke the internet again when full nude photos were released.  Even his Dad had a comment saying something to the effect of Wow that’s my boy.  Yeah he’s got a big instrument and there are lots of people that want to go for a ride.  I for one think he is gorgeous.  I don’t necessarily like the way he has treated people.  Additionally, no one has stopped to think these might be fake nudes, I mean photoshop has been around for years and lots of people are very good at faking photos.  The only way to know if it’s the real deal is to see it live and in person and then you have something to compare to the photos.  If your looking to be a role model I don’t think having nude photos of you floating about is necessarily a good thing.  Just my opinion.

Also Danny Pintauro, former child star from Who’s The Boss told the world he had AIDS and that he has recovered from using Meth.  I just listened to an interview he did where he talked about a certain guy that he was attracted to who offered him meth and he wanted to try BDSM.  Yeah, I can tell you he was someone’s fuck toy.  He said that meth makes you feel so good that you just don’t want to stop using it.  You can use X once and not want it again for a long time but Meth, you will crave every day.  I remember when he first came out of the closet.  That was a big shocker.  I am frankly disappointed that he made bad choices and wound up with AIDS.  However, I think that he is doing a good thing by speaking out.  I am happy that he has a husband now and has settled down.  It sounds kind of crazy but being in the position I am in now, I understand how drugs can be appealing.  If they make you feel so good, I can understand how you would want to do things you normally wouldn’t otherwise engage in.  Like being a bottom in a gang bang.  I hope that Mr. Pintauro reaches someone and maybe prevents another guy from following in his footsteps.  When you have been through hell and back, I can understand wanting to share your story and try to help other people from falling victim to the same mistakes you made. 

Okay enough of that.  I got a call from the roofing people they are waiting on the permit.  No kidding.  They are supposed to let me know how much it’s going to cost but I think they are just going to apply for it and bill me.  I did my homework yesterday and found out that the cost of the permit is $70 which isn’t bad.  If they will get it and not charge me too terribly much then it’s worth not taking a day off from work just for that.  I keep thinking about black mold and am kind of worried about what they are going to find when they rip the top off of this cat house.  I hope all they see is fur and normal roof/attic stuff and nothing more.  I have some wiggle room but really don’t want to spend anymore than I have to.  I want the job done, want to pay the final bill and call it a day.  Then I can pay off my other loan and keep my wiggle room money for a rainy day or two.  Being a homeowner is expensive, especially when you have to go it alone.  If I had two incomes then things wouldn’t be so bad.  However, given the circumstances I think I am doing okay. 

As if you can’t tell I feel lonely today and wishing that I wasn’t alone.  I’ve been thinking a lot about BLU and TAZ.  It’s hard to believe that Tuesday will be the 1 year mark without Mr. BLU.  I remember that week of hell last year where I tried everything I could but it just didn’t work.  I wished it would have, we were just forming a great bond and he was starting to trust me.  Add in this being the month that my late partner would have celebrated his birthday and well it’s really a depressing mess.  Strange as it sounds I feel all 3 of them near me and telling me keep on going.  While I am very proud of my success there is still a long road ahead of me and a huge crater of a hole in my heart.  Time is helping to heal things but it’s a slow process. 

With that I think I will call it a night.  Back to the TV and eventually to bed.  Happy Saturday.  I know that tomorrow I will have wished I would have done more today but it’s okay, it is what it is.  I hope next week is a great week and moves just as fast if not faster than this week did.  Looking forward to November and Thanksgiving.  Ta for now! 

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