Doochebagerry

My boss is a dick and he reminded me of that again today.  They were going to pay the temp in cash, as in under the table (illegally).  I tried to get them to cut her a check but they said no.  So I dropped it.  Today they decided to pay her, which is fine by me. 

The office manager tried to goad me into protesting this today.  She said I will have x dollar of cash for you to give to the temp this afternoon.  I asked if that was 2 weeks pay and was told yes.  Fine, I dropped it.  I went back to work.

The next thing I know the dick is sending me emails spouting off how I went behind his back and now they have to do things above board.  He didn’t get a rise out of me.  I want them to do the right thing but I can’t beat them into submission, after all they are my employer not the other way around.  I believe the office manager put words in my mouth and lied to him telling him I went behind his back.

I explained that I did nothing of the sort and that perhaps the temp had a conversation with her mom, who just so happens to be our general counsels sister.  Maybe they hatched a plan.  I have no idea.  He said well that could be.  However, you have to fire her today I don’t want her back.  Seriously all because you have to cut a check you are taking your frustration out on a teenage girl who was doing a kick ass job.

As you all well know I am no stranger to being fired.  That shit sticks with you for the rest of your life.  So I used words that my last boss used with me when he let me go, but I did it in a positive way so that she had no idea she was fired.  I simply said that it wasn’t my choice but I was told that I had to inform her today was her last day.  She was all bubbly and cheerful and left w/o a problem.  It was short direct and to the point.  That is the type of conversation you look to have when your letting someone go.  I’ve always been trained that way and unfortunately today I had to use that training. 

Now I hope the dick is happy.  However, if he should decide to pursue matters and terminate my employment well I’ve got him by the balls.  All of those e-mails I printed and have the entire conversation here at home, safe and sound far, far away from work.  Fuck with me and I will make sure that the IRS gets a copy, plus you will be sued for retaliation and that will just unleash a mountain of shit in his world.  Not something that he wants.  I took on one of the largest unions in the USA and I’m not afraid of a little jew.  It’s like my late partner used to say…. you fuck me, I fuck you and we all go fucking crazy. 

Needless to say the dick is back at home from his vacation.  There is talk that he might come in tomorrow.  If not then we won’t see him until next week.  I am all for putting off seeing him for a very long time.  I seriously pray that I win the lottery and I can tell him what I think of him and where to shove his job.  Until then I need that crummy job, sad to say.

I should have known that something was going to go wrong today.  It’s been too perfect for far too long.  I had a nightmare last night.  My partner was telling me to purchase life insurance for him.  I started crying and said I don’t want to do that because I did it for my grandfather and shortly there after he died.  I said I don’t want you to die.  When I woke up I realized that it was in fact a nightmare.  I purchased a policy for my partner and several months later he did in fact die.  I never had life insurance on my grandfather.  Odd how that worked out. 

I miss my grandfather but not nearly as much as I miss my partner.  I will miss him for a very long time, actually forever.  I will just get used to the fact that he passed away.  Thankfully his memory and the memories we made together will live on inside of me, until I loose my mind.

Now I am off to end this crappy day by preparing for tomorrow and hope that it’s a better day.  I will be taking in a fresh episode of Suits tonight.  Looking forward to seeing Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams) and his sexiness on screen.  I’m cleaning my TV so there isn’t a spec of dust between me and his body!  Yeah I’m hot for him, what was your first clue?

Talk with you peeps later.  Night!

Solid Day of Work

No play time today, it was all work all day long.  I even put off going to the bathroom until my bladder was about to explode.  Not once but twice.  It was the only way I could see myself getting rid of my bosses machine, which was holding me up from doing other things.  I got his machine done and installed.  I still have one more piece of software but it’s banking software and I need someone with credentials to login to the bank’s site.  I’m trusted but not to that degree and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  The less I know the better off I am and it’s something else that I can’t get blamed for.

Tomorrow I start on the office managers machine.  That won’t be a picnic either but it will be a little easier.  I can’t wait until I am done with it so I can get to the people who have really been waiting a long time for machines. 

I froze my helper out today, the AC in my new office is really serious and I had it down to 70 and it felt like 65.  Yes, cool.  I turned it up to accommodate her but then I was miserable.  So after she left I made a minor adjustment, hopefully it’s middle ground for both of us.  She really cranks through machines like water.  She is up to doing 2 at a time, which is really good.  There is a ton of stuff for her to do over the course of the next couple weeks.  I don’t suspect that she will get it all done but as long as she helps put a dent in machines and gets a project done for me, I will be thrilled. 

So I asked the person who orders our furniture and office supplies to cancel the order for my file cabinet that is on backorder and place an order for a different item.  She told me that she would get on it in a bit, not once but twice.  She decided to do it 5 minutes before it was time to leave.  Then she tells me if I order this one it will be here about the same time as the other one.  Should I order it ?  Yeah, place an order I need a small file cabinet in my office.  Now I will have 2 – I just hope one shows up sooner rather than later.  Damn she is dumb!

I asked about boss man today and when he is coming back.  He isn’t supposed to be back until next week.  However, there is the possibility that he will come in on Wednesday.  I sure hope not, stay away for as long as possible.  That way I can relax a bit and maybe get something done.

That’s about it for now.  I am home and the children want more food.  I had 1/2 of Lasagna for supper and will eat the other 1/2 tomorrow night.  Nice way to stretch a dollar.

Honestly I am so whipped from working all day, it’s been a while since I gave them a full day.  I even stayed late, which is nothing new for me.  I want to leave a little early or at the very least on time.  I hate staying late, it’s like giving my time away and I get nothing in return.

Wednesday is payday and we shall see if someone figured out how to give me a raise or not.  I’ve got my fingers crossed because I could sure use extra money even if it’s only 50 cents.  I know the government will have their hand out.  Plus my vision insurance will be taken out of this check, I am actually hoping that I break even, which wouldn’t be a bad thing. 

Have a wonderful evening.  I am headed to take care of the children and collapse in front of the TV.  Talk with you peeps later.

Bleh Sunday

I pretty well wasted today.  I woke up at 8:30 fed the children.  Watched TV.  Decided that I wanted to lay down at 10:30.  Laid down and didn’t get up until 12:30.  Had breakfast at home, sorry Waffle House I will make it eventually.

Got shaved, showered and headed to the dreadful grocery store.  I didn’t need that much and it felt like I was forgetting something.  However, I checked out.  Spent close to $50.  Frozen food, Mac & Cheese, Yogurt, Milk and Breakfast Sandwiches.  Yeah really adds up fast.

My foot is killing me.  It looks like a callus is trying to form over the ball of my foot.  So I went in search of relief via the internet.  I found a pad that covers the ball of the foot and is secured by a loop that you put on one of your toes.  So I went Amazoning and bought that and a bunch of other crap that I really don’t need.  Dropped $70.  I also found gel pads that are resusable and you stick them on the ball of your foot, so I got them as well.

Went to Red Lobster had my favorite waitress take care of me.  Not sure who was on duty at the bar but they knew what they were doing when they made my Pina Colada.  Damn that was tasty and I could go for another one right about now.  Shame that won’t happen.

Have to get medicine in the children and trim a few claws.  Pack and prepare my lunch for tomorrow.  I am going to soak my foot and try to ice it as well to see if that will help.  Wednesday is when the package arrives so that means I will have to go most of the week on my own.  This foot pain is enough to drive you crazy and it’s been going on for months now. 

I’ve switched vitamins starting this week.  Something I picked up from the local health food store.  24 pills $30.  Yeah they come in a glass bottle and there was more cotton in the bottle than anything.  I wasn’t too happy about that but we shall see how I feel.  I don’t want to poison myself but I do need a slight kick of energy, these should accomplish that.

I am so dreading tomorrow it will be back to the land of chaos.  No boss man but it’s slowly winding down to his return.  I heard a rumor that he was supposed to be gone for 2 weeks, I really don’t think that is the case.  However, if it is well that would be a very good thing.  I work so much better when he is gone.  Payday is Wednesday and there are all sorts of bills that are waiting for me to pay them.  The biggest of which is my credit card bill.  I love paying it off each month but I say to myself I won’t go hog wild and then I do.  Shelling out about $2k a month to take care of eating out, impulse purchases, gasoline, amazon and whatever else I get myself into.  Retail therapy is how I try to sooth the pain and it works for about 5 minutes and then well the pain is back.

So before the rest of my evening passes me by I should really get myself upstairs and get busy.  I’m waiting for the kids laundry to be done.  I put a cover on one couch and a towel on the other.  Both of which were donated by the vet when Big Boy was in the hospital.  We never bothered to take them back.  For $10k they should let us have something.  Kind of feels like stealing but on the other hand it’s like they owed us.  The kids are used to them, so I keep them around.

Speaking of Big Boy I did put him in my bed the other day.  Boy was that a mistake.  Last night he was crying and I couldn’t figure out what he wanted.  I kept calling him but he wouldn’t come.  He just sat there staring at me.  I got down on the floor and rubbed his belly.  That calmed him down for about 10 minutes.  Then he started up again.  I finally got  a clue when he got up and sat at the end of my chair.  I knew he wanted to go in bed. So I lifted him up and put him in bed again with his brother.  He really likes it up there.  He used to jump in my bed all the time.  Now there is no way he will jump on any type of furniture.  He is limited in walking short distances, he gets winded easily and has to rest.  So what the others do normally takes him twice or three times as long.  As he gets worse so will his ability to move around.  However, I pray that God keeps him with me for another few years.  I’m just not ready to mourn any more deaths right now. 

Okay, I’m going, really.  Talk with you peeps later.

Saturday

Surprise I stayed home today.  I called my brother early this morning and asked if he and my mom wanted to meet up for lunch or supper.  There is a new restaurant and I figured I could expose them to a nice place.  It worked.  We all ordered way too much food.  The total bill was $49.99 that’s never happened before. 

I tried to sleep a couple times today but got interrupted, so I guess that was a subtle way of telling me time to get up.

I did get my hair cut.  I thought about going into work to tidy up my new office but decided against it.  Weekends are meant for relaxing NOT for working.  I guess someone should tell that to the Big Box Home Improvement stores.  :)

Friday night I heard that my old boss, the one I am supposed to meet in a couple weeks has taken a new job and is going to move out of state.  That was kind of sad.  I asked if we were still on and right now it’s tentative but I think that he will wind up cancelling.  I honestly don’t think I am that important to him.  I kind of want to say well let’s cancel but I want to see what happens.

The mail brought me a free ink cartridge for my printer and a bottle of medicine.  Nothing else.  I scrambled to make it to the post office before they closed.  Just in case there is something to sign for, that is one of my fears that they will drop something in the box saying I have to sign and then they are closed so I am screwed. 

I broke out my guy’s old steam cleaner and worked on the rug in the basement.  I like it much better than the one I bought but the problem is it doesn’t suck enough.  It takes forever to get stains out and you use lots of water but most of it sits in the carpet.  So I guess I have two cleaners one for upstairs and one for downstairs.  I knew there was a reason why we stopped using it but I forgot, it’s been that long ago that it was used like years.

I put an auto reply on my guy’s e-mail telling people he’s dead.  I gave them a real address if they need to reach a human but most of what I have been getting for the past couple months is junk.  I need to delete his account but can’t bring myself to part with much of anything that was his.  I am paralyzed.  I had intentions of going through his clothes but I’ve managed to talk myself out of it. 

Having aspirations, desires or making plans is all great.  However, the follow through is what counts. Normally it’s not a problem but when it comes to the matter of my guy I procrastinate.  It’s like if I do X then he will come back.  I know that is not the case.  Plus there is all of the emotions that I really don’t want to deal with.  I am starting to grow tired of having his doors closed all the time but eventually I will do what I have to do.  I thought pulling the plug was the hardest thing to do, in retrospect that was easy compared to what I am dealing with now.

I have completed and gathered all of the paperwork necessary to retitle and register his vehicle into my name.  The best news of all is that there is no sales tax to pay because it’s an estate gift from a spouse to a spouse.  However, the fee to take care of the transfer, registration and issue new plates is $200.  Yikes!  Right now I don’t have that much money to part with but come Wednesday I will.  So I am going to issue payment Wednesday and get the show on the road.  It will suck taking off his license plates and putting on new ones but it’s something that needs to happen.

I priced his vehicle on-line and selling it to another person it’s worth about $4,000.  I then got curious and looked at mine, it’s worth $11,000.00 which is more than I owe on it.  I’m tempted to sell them both outright and be able to pocket the cash, buy something new and call it a day.  However, finding buyers and getting around w/o a vehicle would be a challenge.  I did ask at the dealership the other day if I could trade in multiple vehicles and they said yes.  I’ve got new car fever and changing the name on his vehicle is only temptation calling me.  Right now I have the rest of this year and all of next and then I will be car payment free.  Not exactly sure what to do but right now I am doing nothing because that seems like the safest bet.

My head itches, always gets that way after a haircut.  I always let them shampoo my hair and that takes care of it for a while but then it kicks in when I am at home.  I really hate that but it’s the price I pay for looking sharp all the time.  Every two weeks like clock work it’s hair cut time. 

Oh Vitamin withdrawal is hitting me.  I am super tired now.  My foot still hurts, feels better w/o shoes on.  I suppose I have to give my body time to flush things out and then hopefully things will go back to normal.

The odd thing is my brother has problems with the same leg.  His issue is varicose veins that are bulging and a huge rash that I think is a fungal infection.  His doctor & surgeon think that it’s lack of blood flow to the leg.  Hello his foot would turn colors and eventually gang green would set in.  I think he needs a Dermatologist and told him to see one of them.  They could probably do more help for the rash.  As for the veins well they look horrible and he needs to get them fixed because it will only lead to problems in the future.  If that was my body I would have already been in and out of surgery.  I don’t play!  Of course I have health insurance and he doesn’t.  He told me that the surgeons office told him that the office visit could be as high as $300 for what was 5 minutes with the doctor.  Seriously?  He was appalled.  I told him oh yeah that is the way they play the game.  They all milk it be the insurance company or the patient, your going to part with some cash so be prepared.

I am thinking of Lasagna for lunch/supper tomorrow.  It will be an afternoon meal not two separate meals.  Breakfast is a little more challenging I can go out but that costs money or I can stay home and eat cereal.  My craving right now is Eggs along with Biscuits & Gravy.  Maybe Waffle House.  I will have to see how I feel in the morning.  I try to talk myself out of things all the time, sometimes it works and other times well I just give in.

I try to pamper myself as best as I can but within a reasonable limit.  Eating out or buying things on line – those are my vices along with hair care products.  So stay away from the Big Box Office Stores and the Hair Care Stores and I’m good.  When I eat out I try to go cheap but other times I want what I want and give in.  I’ve got friends that will be wanting to go out in 2 weeks and I am sure it will be a Maggiano’s event but we haven’t set anything in stone yet.  If we do go there I will certainly look forward to it. 

My plan today would have been to go to the office and then for lunch visit a place close by and order a Scillian Pizza.  It takes 30 minutes to make and normally at lunch I don’t have that kind of time.  I have always wanted to try it but that hasn’t happened yet.  The other thing I thought of was to go to Maggiano’s after I was done at work.  Never been there by myself but that doesn’t mean I can’t go. 

I had someone that is like minded with the same interested and in the same profession look at my profile on the dating site.  We live close by and maybe it would work but I’m not sure.  From his photo there isn’t any real chemistry but his profile is like what is on the inside and it screams YES ask me out.  I passed and didn’t do anything.  If I am correct I will be done with that site this week.  I have to say I will miss looking but I think it’s for the best.

So since it’s coming up on 11pm here I think I will post this ramble and call it a night.  Time to get in front of the TV and maybe find a movie or some standup.  Talk with you peeps later.

Working

I am still drowning in work.  Plus I was told today that I have to start moving into my new office.  So I dropped everything and started that.  My present office looks so much nicer now, I’d really like to stay where I am.  However, the advantages are greater to move plus I already agreed to it. 

My little helper is doing pretty good with configuring machines now.  She is working faster than I can keep up with.  I am dealing with day to day stuff, plus trying to build desktops.  I am working on a replacement machine for my boss and that has me a little nervous.  I hate working on stuff for him because he is picky and the first error message he gets, his blood pressure skyrockets and he screams at me.  When in reality all he needs to do is learn to reboot more than once every 3 months and that will solve most if not all of his problems. 

After I am done with him, I have to build a new machine for our Office Manager and I am NOT looking forward to that either.  She too is picky and has a ton of crap on her machine.  I know why she is having problems with her present machine because it’s full of games and shopping – that attracts spyware and malware if you aren’t careful about where you go.  Viola one messed up machine.  I could potentially fix it but building a machine for her is a little more of a challenge and when I am done I will feel so much better.  It’s like a confidence booster. 

I got word from the union that my check will be in my hands late next week.  So now I have to file a motion with the court asking for a continuance because I don’t see them meeting their deadline.  It won’t cost me anything but time, paper, ink, and postage. 

I am so drowning in work, everyone wants or needs something.  If that isn’t the case they want to know why I haven’t delivered yet.  My word is my bond but when things beyond my control take over, you got to give me space.  

Right now it feels like I am going out of my ever loving mind.  So many things on the brain.  Thank the Lord that Saturday is around the corner.  Powerball rolled so all the more reason to take a trip for PI maybe if I buy a lottery ticket up there it will be the winner.  No one in my neck of the woods has won any type of big jackpot.  I don’t mind being the first one.  That would certainly solve ALL of my problems.  What I couldn’t take care of myself I could hire done.  Plus Big Boy might get an airplane ride and get to go see a better vet for treatment.  Ah well nothing but pipe dreams right now. 

I got to run.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Tuesday

This morning I woke up to an e-mail from my doctors office regarding my blood work.  I logged on and wow, everything is kind of on the high side from my A1C to my Cholesterol.  I suppose I haven’t always made the healthiest of choices in the past 3 months, but take in to consideration my world was radically rocked and that might give me some wiggle room.  I am waiting to hear what the doc has to say, but I suppose it won’t be good news. 

I had my Chicken Pot Pie last night for supper, it was okay.  Tonight I am doing White Chicken Chili, with added cheese & sour cream.  Just because I can. 

The children are having a contest to see if they can get me back to the pet food store before the week is over with.  They are doing a pretty good job but I am not ready to cave just yet.  Everytime I turn around it’s feed us, were starving, food please.  Yeah well my bank account is saying the same thing but they won’t fill that up for me. 

Junk was the mail last night.  I am still eagerly awaiting the arrival of my check and my Birchbox.  The check I fully expect this week but it maybe next week as well.  I am not sure about Birchbox, but honestly if I get to pick I would want the check first.  There is at least one months mortgage payment and a Bankruptcy payment or two in there.  So it will go a long way to help me.

I only have a few days left on the Gay Dating site and I updated my profile.  I’ve gotten a couple hits, which is surprising but I declined both because they were my type of guys and lived to far away.  Would be nice if I could land me a Twink.  I figured that I should go out in style and who knows maybe the last few days will net me a good catch.  Only time will tell.  I know I am NOT ready for anything serious but if it happens, I can’t say that I would push away from it. 

I do miss the physical part, eating with someone and just daily living.  I don’t want someone to move in with me, that is way too much and too fast.  Having a dinner companion or someone to just hang out with would be nice.  An occasional hug would be nice as well.

Despite the circumstances I am starting to get accustomed to living alone.  There are perks to it, in that you don’t have to answer to anyone.  You also can’t blame anyone but yourself.  You can sleep in or do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it.  No boss, no rules, just right sort of like Outback Steakhouse. 

I’ve been thinking about Saturday.  I need to clean the basement carpet, it’s horrible.  I thought about cleaning out the laundry room that is full of boxes and all sorts of crap but I really have to be in the mood for that.  I have thought about leaving the area and going for a favorite desert, but it’s kind of an expensive proposition.  Both from a time and money factor.  Not saying I won’t enjoy it, but it’s a long distance to travel by yourself.  It’s good for the car and the engine because my gas mileage always increases.  I am on the fence, will have to see how I feel come Saturday morning. 

I got engrossed in a letter I was writing last night, it was a fan letter to a fellow gay couple.  I wanted to reach out and tell them what I have been through and hopefully my story will motivate and/or help them to prepare for the future and what life holds.  You are far better being prepared for a partner passing with legal and financial protection in place than being caught off guard. 

I did manage to catch Suits last night.  Happy about that.  I struck a bet with a co-worker it was over how many times they would use GD (the cuss word) in the show.  I said 3 or more and she said 2 or less.  I lost and now I have to buy her lunch.  Not the worst thing in the world.  I just should have known not to bet, I lose way more than I win. 

Well back to the old salt mine.  Hard to believe it’s already afternoon.  Talk with you peeps later.

Tuesday

Last nights supper was Mac & Cheese and I finished off my desert from Sunday.  Not exactly a healthy meal but it sure was good.  Tonight I am thinking of Pot Pie slightly more healthy at least there are vegetables. 

I got another surprise in my bed last night.  Every time I put on my Royal Blue Sheets, Mr. Blu decides it’s time to pee on them.  I wanted to kill him.  So I slept without sheets and a comforter but at least I was able to sleep on the mattress pad that was nice.  I will have sheets tonight but probably no comforter, which is okay.  That cat needs surgery in the worst way.

I took the trash out last night.  My nosy neighbor was in her driveway putting around and she cleared her throat loudly as if she was expecting me to say something to her.  I just ignored her and went about my business.  She knows something is up but I am going to make her ask if she wants to know that damn bad. 

Boss man sure has his jet pack on today.  He is moving around here like a Tornado.  Word on the street is he will be gone for 2 weeks.  If it’s true that will make me one happy man.  The less I see and hear from him, the happier I am.  I know he will be asking about his computer sooner or later.  My goal is to try to get it done while he is out of the office.  That way he can come back to a nice new machine and hopefully have nothing to bitch about.  Each and every time I try to do the right thing around here it bites me in the ass so I am proceeding with caution.

I learned yesterday afternoon that we hired another new person.  She was here all morning long and they didn’t bother to introduce her to everyone until later in the day.  I had to ask what her full name was in order to get her accounts setup.  I hate the communication around here, no one says anything until the 11th hour and then everyone has to scramble to work.  What a company!

It’s colder here with rain falling this morning.  I enjoyed it yesterday even though the sun was out it was cooler. So the AC wasn’t blasting the kids out of their fur coats. 

I would like to invest in cameras for the inside of the house so I could check up on them during the day.  My guess is they are all sleeping but who knows for sure.  I want cameras on the outside as well but both of these have been wants for several years.  Maybe eventually I will be able to make them a reality but it’s not at the top of my list. 

The bushes need to be trimmed, the outside of the house is looking pretty ratty.  I honestly don’t care, no one is coming over and when the time comes I will have to part with $100 to get Lawn Boy to trim them.  I figure let them grow so he can really earn his money.  I haven’t seen him in about a year.  I remember planning time off at home on the weeks he would come by so I could peer out the window and look at his body.  Now it simple doesn’t matter.  If I happen to be home great, if not well so be it. 

I am surprised how my needs, desires and priorities have changed since my partners death.  I suspect there will be lots of changes to look forward to, some good and some not so good.

Well my helper is twirling her hair and making me look bad so I guess I should get back to work.  For all everyone knows I am working, just typing away.  I will be glad when my helper is gone, she is annoying as hell.  All I want to do is kill her, but I don’t let that show.  I figure one day I will probably loose it but I hope not. 

Talk with you peeps later.

Together Forever

Last night I watched an Oprah show that was filed at Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s home.  Neil said that he doesn’t like the word Partner so he calls David his Fiancé.  That is certainly different. 

Neil & David are a very loving couple, that came through crystal clear along with the fact they are loaded.  They have a very nice home and their children will be very happy. 

They had photos of them taken together as a couple that were shown when it was time to head to a break. 

While it was interesting to watch, it was yet another reminder that I am alone.  I thought I would have problems sleeping but that didn’t happen.  I am not overly sad about it.  I still wish I was David Burtka.  I am so jealous of him just because he snagged NPH.  I have a huge crush on Neil, but David isn’t bad looking either. 

I am certain that they will get married probably sooner rather than later.  It’s so awesome to see them together and they compliment each other very well. 

Over the weekend I logged on to a website that my partner used to chat with other guys and publish stories.  He had lots of compliments about his stories, but they were sexual in nature and not something that I can or will share.  I found a few people checking upon him and I had to write to them and break the news.  It seems like coming out is a never ending process, so is notifying people of a death.

I told our favorite Service Technician at the Car Dealer on Friday.  He was pretty taken back.  The one reaction I don’t like is when people say your kidding me.  Why would someone kid about death?  Especially when I am talking in a monotone voice, I sound somber because it’s depressing. 

I had no vitamins over the weekend and took just a multivitamin today.  Feet still hurt but they are getting better.  Not sure if I am on to something or if it’s just a coincidence.  I am hopeful that my body will let me know sooner rather than later. 

The children have dirtied the clean rug but that was to be expected.  I just hate that it gets dirty so quickly.  They are all doing reasonably well. 

The hard part for me is figuring out what is for supper.  I have no idea.  I’ve got plenty to choose from but just not sure what I am in the mood for.  A lot depends upon how the rest of the day goes.  We all know it will be something quick.

I got Shy Girls claws trimmed.  She let me work on one paw and when I was in the process of working on her thumb she bolted like no tomorrow.  I had to go chasing after her and she was not happy about it.  She went to the bathroom but I came prepared with towels so it was an easy clean up.  The claw trimmers broke on me but I made them work until I was done with her.  Then I sat down and fixed them, kind of proud of myself.  The little vixen doesn’t have to go through this again until the end of next month.  She was sticking in the carpet, so 6 weeks is just about the right amount of time.  I brushed her and got off tons of fur.  Plus she had some knots and I got those out as well.  She is all pretty now and we are friends again.  That is until it’s time to trap her next month. 

None of my furniture came in yet so no office move yet.  I suspect most if not all of it will arrive this week.  Once it’s here and assembled then I will get the fun task of moving.  Boss man will be leaving for vacation, it will be a week of fun around here or so I hope.  I like the relaxed atmosphere while he is gone.  Too bad that can’t happen all the time.  I can only hope he leaves and doesn’t return but that is almost like saying hurry back now. 

My helper is here she clearly doesn’t want to help with computers she is off doing some typing project.  She is here to help me but she really isn’t.

The union downloaded the signed agreement a short while ago, so I expect my check to be mailed out by tomorrow and hopefully it will arrive in time for the weekend.  Something tells me they are going to make me sign for it.  I kind of hope not because getting to the post office to provide my signature will be a bit of a challenge. 

I’ve got work stacking upon me so I should get back.  Not that I want to.  I’d rather be at home sleeping with the children.  Nap time is awesome and I am looking forward to it next weekend.  Nothing on the books for the weekend yet but give it time I am sure something will crop up.

Y’all take care and I will talk with you peeps later. 

Who is that guy?

  That guy is none other than Mike C. Manning.  His claim to fame was on MTV’s Real World Washington DC.  Mike is BI-Sexual and has developed into a GLBT Rights Activist, a Film Star and Director.  He’s got lots of talent and not to mention a very nice body.  If your interested in more of Mike you can probably find it out at his Website, which is http://www.mikecmanning.com/ 

It’s almost a new month and I figured while I was thinking of it, time to change up the blog. 

I have managed to sleep away most of the day.  I was up until like 1am.  I slept until 6, got up and fed the children.  Then I went back to bed in my partners room  I so love his mattress.  Had some strange dreams and when I woke up and looked at the clock it was a little after 11.  I decided it was time to get moving, even if I didn’t want to.

I managed to shave, shower and eat breakfast.  I fed the children again.  Then I hit up the grocery store, stopped by the gas station to top off my tank and came home.  I put away the groceries, cleaned my car windows and then came inside and sat on the couch.  Drank a nice cold bottle of H20 and looked at my phone and the children.  They tried to rub off their voodoo magic sleeping spell on me, but I didn’t let it work.  I am tired and could collapse but I have things to do.

So I came downstairs and am working on laundry (big surprise, I know) and cleaning up my office and my computer.  I tamed my e-mail which wasn’t easy.  Then I hit up all of the files on my desktop and got them organized and moved where they should be.  This working for a living and dealing with an Estate are two full time jobs.  However, I have some how managed to fit them both in to my schedule. 

I am heading out to a local Italian place to grab a bite to eat.  Lasagna, Garlic Bread, Salad and if I have room a piece of Carmel Crunch Cake if not I will bring it home and have it later.  Then I have to finish up laundry, pack my lunch and prep for tomorrow.  Yuk.  It will be the downhill slide.

Speaking of slides, last night Big Boy was at the top of the steps, laying peacefully.  I said good night to him.  Went in to my room and was taking care of my happy ending.  I was in the middle when I heard this noise.  Talk about killing the moment.  Well, he apparently rolled over in his sleep and fell down the stairs.  He was quite startled.  He didn’t want to get up, which concerned me.  So I stayed with him for a bit and comforted him.  Eventually I got him to stand up and I carried him back up.  I put him in my door way and left the door open all night.  I was worried that he broke something or hurt himself but thankfully it appears he is okay.  It was more of a scare.  I hope he doesn’t lay by the steps anymore but something tells me he will. 

So much for a dull moment around here.  Right now it’s very quiet and I could easily drift off into sleep.  However, I am going to get my big bony ass up and go grab that bite to eat.  You all take care and I will talk with you peeps later.  

Ye old update

L & G – I hope your all doing well.  Friday was truly a day off for me, but I had so much running to do and things got added to my schedule last minute.  Thankfully everything came together.

I met with the Estate Attorney and we executed a document that will give me legal power to act on my partners estates behalf.  This was mainly done in case the union didn’t want to cooperate.  The document gives me surviving spouse benefits from the estate and I hold a priority claim, which means I would be paid first.

As we were executing the document I received word via e-mail from the union, they have no problem converting the check and tax reporting to my name.  All of the other conditions are the same.  I printed out the document and had it notarized on Friday.  A copy has been sent to the union and now they have to get a check in the mail.  Can’t wait until that arrives.  I will certainly make a copy and might even frame it.  Damn that was a lot of fucking work!  Glad it paid off.

I have prepared my dismissal motion.  I will be running it by an attorney friend of mine.  I think I might have to take time off to file the motion with the court but I am going to ask if I can’t just mail them a copy.  I mean is it about money or what? 

I learned from the Estate Attorney that we can open an Estate at any time but it will probably cost me $3 thousand to do it.  Not something that I feel I need or want at this time.  However, there may be a need for it in the future.

My car checked out perfect, oil changed and tires inflated and rotated.  Were back on the road.  I’ve been all over the place yesterday and today.  I thought about making a trip for you know what but talked myself out of it.  Might do it tomorrow if I am really bored.  I’ve got most of my Sunday work done, with the exception of laundry and cleaning the basement.  I shampooed the carpet upstairs today, clean up was a bitch just like last time.  I even vacuumed ahead of time, didn’t help much.  Fur was everywhere.  Ick.

Made it to the doctor and they had me down for a physical, all I was aware of was blood work.  I wasn’t prepared for the additional pain of having him play with my nuts and ass.  Thankfully he didn’t.  We talked and I told him about my partner.  He told me about his dad.  We both share in common that we lost someone this year because we were forced to make a choice to remove life support.  His dad was in a car accident and on life support for a month.  It really sucks to have to make that choice but you have to know in your heart that you did all you could and your decision was the right move, it is what they would have wanted.  I am not saying it’s easy to live with the reality.  My issues aren’t with the decision but the fact that he passed away and we can’t make any more memories together. 

So I told the doc about my feet and he said that it sounded like Neuropathy but he said your pretty young to get that.  He tested my reaction to see if I could feel light touch, it was a little difficult but I did feel it.  He thinks there might be some nerve damage from when I whacked my foot over a year ago but a year is pushing it.  This might get better and might not.  His diagnosis prompted me to do some investigating and research.  I think I have been unknowingly poisoning myself.  If you have high levels of certain B vitamins you can cause Neuropathy.  I’ve been taking a multi vitamin plus a B complex stress vitamin.  Together I get loads of vitamins but I think some might be in the toxic level.  I skip them on the weekend and other than feeling tired, life is okay.  So I am trying an experiment and cutting back to just a multivitamin to see if that does the trick.  I can only hope that if this is the cause that I haven’t done permanent damage.  My guess is in a week or two I should know.  That should be long enough for my body to get rid of anything that has built up.  The doc took blood and I should have the results next week.  I have managed to gain weight, just a couple pounds.  With the change in my diet and stress hormones kicking in, it’s no wonder I am up.  Hopefully I can manage to not blow up like the Good Year Blimp!

I had my meeting today with the Bankruptcy attorney.  Turns out that while my guys attorney lacks on how to treat people and to explain things in simple terms, the advice he has given me is unfortunately correct.  So I am better off letting a sleeping rabid dog lye than kicking him and stopping the case.  If I kick the dog (metaphor referring to the creditors) it will bite me for sure.  In other words they will take the house.  I am far better off just paying the monthly extortion money and letting the case complete normally at which time the creditors will have no legal claim.  The part that sucks is this will take another 36 to 40 months to complete.  Really! 

I talked with the mortgage company on Friday.  They needed more paperwork, what a surprise!  I got that completed and sent in.  They wanted my name on some of the paperwork, despite the fact that my name is NOT on the mortgage.  Hell I will do most anything they want, I just need to get this process completed so they payments are lowered.  Then hopefully making the mortgage payment and the bankruptcy payment will be more affordable. 

I had dinner with my friends at the expensive place they wanted to go.  The food was crap, I said it was okay but it’s not someplace I will be going back to, unless it’s with them and they are paying.  Yuk!  I did have a good time and got them all caught up on what has been going on.

I’ve gotten some hits from the Gay Dating Site.  Guys that want to meet me.  Yeah, they are guys I don’t want to meet just based on looks and habits I see in their profiles.  I did update my profile and hit on a couple of guys, we shall see if anything comes of it.  However in a couple weeks my subscription will end.  Unless I manage to find Mr. Right in a short period of time I will be done with the on-line dating scene for now.  Not to say I won’t come back to it but paying for a service well that is something that I will think twice before I act.  There are some cute guys on this site but I doubt they want an old man like me.  In gay years 41 is like your 70…most people think of you as dead.  I want a younger guy or someone in my age bracket. 

Speaking of subscriptions, I signed myself up for Birchbox.  It’s a site that sells grooming products and clothes.  Guys can get a monthly subscription where they gather up samples of stuff you like, based on your profile for $20 per month.  Gals you can get in for $10.  If your interested put a .com after Birchbox and check it out.  I saw an advertisement of them during Suits this past Tuesday.  I can’t wait until the first box arrives.  It’s like paying to get a present.  The anticipation builds until it finally arrives.  Then I just hope it’s stuff I will actually use. 

Oh I cooked 2 hamburgers today on the George Foreman Grill.  Super easy but the grease tray wasn’t positioned properly so I had a little mess to clean up.  Outside of that all was good.  I looked in the freezer tonight and man, it’s like I went on vacation last week.  There is plenty of food for next week.  However, I will be getting some more White Chicken Chili, that was good stuff and maybe even some Sour Cream to go with it.  Damn I am making myself hungry.

So I was looking through Pay Per View and I am proud to say that my cable company now offers Gay Adult Pay Per View Porn.  I never ever thought I would see the day when I could get a porn movie from the comfort of my living room.  Some are new but mostly it’s old stuff and there isn’t a whole lot of choices.  Just thought it was interesting that it was there.  I didn’t order anything.  I really want to watch The Call, it’s about a 911 call and the movie has Holly Berry in it.  However, they want $6 to watch it and I am thinking well I will just wait until the DVD comes out or it’s available on Netflix.  Unless I am really content starved I don’t think I will be giving in even if it’s only $6.

So time to call it a night.  Momma and company need their medicine and I am about ready to pass out for the night.  Talk with you peeps later.

1 2 3 4 Pressure

I got the agreement from the union.  However, they want to report to the IRS under my partners SSN and make the check payable to his estate.  Doing this would cause me to have to fork over all of the money to the Bankrtupcy Court, it wouldn’t be my money, it would be his estates money.  The way around this is to have them use my SSN and make the agreement and check out in my name.  Now doing this would also cause them to recognize the fact that I am his spouse, something they were trying to avoid.  They would still have the same insulation/protection but I am not so certain that they will agree to this.  However, the alternative means they have to fork out money for a response and we would wind up in court.  Then it is a roll of the dice.  I anticipate winning but there is always a chance that I wouldn’t.  If I did then they would have to pay all of my expenses in addition to the settlement.  If I loose I think I would be on the hook for their court costs plus legal fees, which could put me further in the hole.  So for everyone’s sake it’s best that they just replace the documents with my name and were all good.  Stay tuned, time will tell.

I’ve got this helper here at work.  She is a relative of our attorney.  She was brought in to help with a project that was supposed to take 3 to 4 weeks.  She finished it in less than one day.  What a machine!  So I was asked to have her try her luck with machines.  Well the poor thing is dumb when it comes to computers.  She bragged that she had an excellent memory.  Yet after I trained her she had nothing but constant questions.  I couldn’t get my work done and had to baby sit her.  I have to endure this for another week.  I only hope that she gets better.  If not I am going to cut her loose.  I hate to do that but it will be more beneficial to me.

I was informed yesterday that I am moving to a bigger office.  It’s actually a small conference room that is being turned into an office for me, so that I can spread out more.  I got to make a wish list of things that I wanted and did just that.  It will cost a small fortune but I will be getting a new chair and much needed storage space that locks.  I will be giving up a desk but gaining a large conference room table.  I will also be giving up the beautiful view I have, but I will still have windows.  I will just be able to look at other buildings, but if I look down I can still see the street and how traffic is doing.  So there are pro’s and con’s but the pro’s out weigh the cons.  I actually came up with the idea to move but I never said a word.  The office manager came to see me yesterday and suddenly she decided that it was time for me to move, presto it was approved in nothing flat.  Personally, I would just as soon stay in the broom closet I am in and get a larger increase on my check.  However, I guess it’s take what you can get.  Like I said the other day I don’t have plans of staying here forever.  Might as well be comfortable.

I have been drowning in work trying to catch up.  Thankfully my little helper isn’t here today.  So I actually got something accomplished.  However, I had plenty of interruptions.  The day is about an hour and a half away from ending and I am so thankful.

I am off tomorrow and have my date with a vampire as well as the car dealer.  Not exactly looking forward to it but it’s stuff that needs to be taken care of.  I just hope no one bothers me and that I can truly have a day off, that in it’s self will be nice. 

Last night the White Chicken Chili was truly a hit.  A little on the spicy side but that is part of the deal.  I threw in some cheese to top it off and ate it while I was talking on the phone.  I wish I would have had Sour Cream but all in all I liked it.  So I will be buying more of it. 

My pore sucker arrived yesterday.  For $7 I got a toy that sounds like a vibrator.  It doesn’t do a very good job on suction but I guess its better than nothing.  I can always upgrade to a higher priced model that I am sure would probably do the trick but I am trying to do things on the cheap.

I am thinking of stopping for Mexican food on the way home provided that I get out of here at a decent hour and there are no catastrophes to deal with.  I may change my mind and have something at home but right now I am pretty well set on it. 

Not sure that I will be able to squeeze in an update tomorrow but certainly over the weekend I will.  You all take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

Pizza @ Lunch

A co-worker brought me pizza for lunch.  It was very good.  There just wasn’t enough of it to fill my belly.  So I supplemented with Yogurt and 2 cups of fruit.  That did the trick. 

Chili Dogs last night for supper.  I made a little much but it was okay.  Canned chili was a little high on the salty side, otherwise it was good.  TAZ was climbing all over me because he wanted some.  I think it was the cheese he was after. 

I figured the union would want to hurry up and get things done but they are dragging their feet.  I am not dismissing the case until I have cashed the check, so they are working against a deadline.  Hopefully within the next couple days they will get on the ball. 

I had a difficult time sleeping last night.  I put the toothbrush back on the charger and that was enough to send me over the edge.  I cried off and on but eventually around 11:30 I managed to sleep.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I would give back everything just to have him back, provided he was healthy.  However, we all know that won’t happen so I have to forge forward as difficult as it is. 

Tonight’s supper is canned White Chicken Chili.  I hope it’s good!  Come back tomorrow to find out. 

So not in the working mood today.  I just want to play.  The temp I am in charge of completed the project she was assigned to.  What I thought would take a couple weeks actually took one day.  She is a machine.  So I have her helping me now build machines.  She is asking me 1,000 questions – we went through a build together and she had the opportunity to take notes but she told me that she has an excellent memory.  Wow, apparently it was out to lunch while I was teaching her because she doesn’t remember 1/2 of what I showed her.  I hope that things start clicking.

She has been of some help but my work load is still pretty heavy and it’s all mostly stuff that I have to do.  So, I still feel swamped.

In driving in this morning I kept wishing I could quit this job.  I don’t mind working so long as I am treated well and I really feel taken advantage of here where I am treated like a dog at times.  The way I am spoken to and the entire environment it just sucks.  I am looking but there isn’t much out there at the moment.  My guy said to me that there is a reason why I am here.  I do not understand that reason but I am thankful to be employed, I just wish I was treated better.

Okay so I guess I should get back to it.  Talk with you peeps later.

BREAKING NEWS…

Just got a call from the attorney that represents the union.  They prefer to stay out of court and have offered me a settlement provided I dismiss the lawsuit. 

The settlement consists of the original Death Benefit plus his Last Pension check.  They will not pay for legal or administrative costs.  However, all things considered this is very good news. 

Now if I can just get payment modification taken care of with the house and then get it transferred to my name, I think I will be able to breathe.

The money the union sends me will be spoken for, I will put it towards house payments.  Unless Murphy rears his ugly head. 

Awesome – Awesome – Awesome.  Does it show I’m a little happy/gay?