Confused

I figured out this afternoon that I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was trying to be.  I wanted to use my Visible # to send the message to the waiter.  However, the message went via iMessage and that uses my real cell phone number.  I was not happy about that because the number has my name attached to it but it’s not like I wouldn’t have told him my full name. 

I’ve looked at the iMessage all day long off and on and it just shows a status of Delivered.  I really want it to say read but if he’s like me I have my read receipts turned off on purpose.  I do not plan on chasing him and right now my thought is to just let things be as they are. 

I honestly thought he was genuinely interested in me.  His face lit up when I asked him out.  However, I think this is one of those cases where he said yes but meant no.  Either that or he’s a flake.  The younger generation and I don’t exactly do things the same.  I am fairly certain that since it’s 7p at night he’s not working since he was there at 7a when I was.  You’d think he could take a quick minute to reply.  I get that perhaps he’s nervous but this whole thing is very new to me as well.  He may come around and I could be surprised but given the amount of time that has lapsed I am starting to give up on him.  It’s a major step for anyone to take a chance and ask another person out, getting rejected up front is tough but honestly I could stomach that much better than someone getting my hopes up only to have them dashed in the end. 

I know it’s not over yet but things will be awkward for sure when I go back for a bite to eat and he’s working.  It will be worse if I am sat in his section. 

I’d appreciate your feedback, I realize people may be hesitant to give advice but at the end of the day I’m a grown man and I can make my own decision.  It never hurts to get some guidance or opinions from others. 

Presuming this turns into be a case of he said yes but meant no, it will be the third time this has happened to me.  The first time was a guy at the pet food store.  I saw him on Grindr and reached out.  We had conversations through the app on a regular basis and he strung me a long.  First it was he wanted to concentrate on school because a mid-term was coming up and then we could get together then he said he wanted to concentrate on school.  There always was an excuse until one day I came through his line with cat food and he apologized straight up for stringing me along, he said he knew what he was doing was wrong but just didn’t know how to say no.  I figured out months before the apology came that he wasn’t interested.  This was about a year or two after I lost my spouse so it hurt a bit more. The second time was a waiter at a restaurant, he took my number and never called or texted.  I went back to the restaurant a few times and never got sat in his section but he saw me.  Then one day I went in and asked for him they said he quit the night before and I’ve never seen or heard from him.  It’s been probably five years at least since that happened.  I was over the moon just like I was with the guy today when he said yes. 

I’ve asked two other guys out that both oddly enough worked at restaurants.  One was for sure gay and he had the balls to say no.  The other guy I think was gay but he too declined politely.  It sucks to get a NO answer but honestly I can process that so much better than someone stringing me a long or saying YES when they actually meant NO. 

Life goes on and yeah this will be water under the bridge, my feelings are hurt a bit but I will still monitor the message to see if it ever changes to a read status but at this point if I hear from him great.  I just think if he was as interested as I was lead to believe that he would exert a bit more effort.  Perhaps he doesn’t feel the same and will get back to me in a couple days.  If he responds and wants to get together I will agree to meet up but it kind of depends on how much time passes. This is another reason why I hate texting you can accomplish so much more through a phone call. 

Here’s hoping that this turns out for the best, whatever that means.  I am not holding out as much hope as I did this morning.  While I will go back to get something to eat it’s more to show him that I am not afraid even though it will be awkward for both of us.  I have no plans to chase him, I mean if your interested great but if not then just say so instead of letting your actions communicate that to me.  It does make me think I am not marketable and that I will die alone, perhaps that won’t be the case but this whole waiting thing is getting pretty old and so am I. Thanks for listening and reading, I had to vent and this helped me a little bit.  A good nights rest presuming I can get one will also be of help.  Take care!