30 April 2017

The Ups and Downs

We shall start with the biggest Up and Down of them all, my Big Boy aka Bear.  Since he hasn’t been eating much I didn’t anticipate any movements to take place.  He’s been urinating well.  I can tell he has been uncomfortable.  Being stopped up is no fun, it’s happened to me a couple times.  Giving him the appetite stimulant on Friday morning and stopping in the evening to pick up food was the right thing to do.  He was hungry when I got home and told me all about it until I was able to place some food in front of him.  He did his usual trick of eating some, asking for something else.  I am starting to wonder if that is ever going to end, it’s fucking annoying as hell.  What did I ever do to deserve this?  Considering the fact that he was eating more I suspected that it was only a matter of time before he had to go.  I kept telling them that I was going to use the other half of the treatment they sent me home with.  I’d push back the deadline with the hopes that delaying would be the right thing.  I am pleased as punch to report he went last night.  Not much and it looked very bad but he went.  I’d rather him go on his own accord rather than forcing the issue.  I mean if I have to I will but it’s not something that I really want to do.  My grandfather became dependent on laxatives and the like.  It wasn’t a pretty picture so that is partially to blame for my apprehension.  If it gets to the point where I am dictating when Big Boy goes to the bathroom, it’s time to make a hard choice.  I was so pleased with him, I had given him his regular medicine moments before and was pushing on him in the hopes it would motivate him.  Looks like it did the trick!  He slept with me last night and has for the past few nights.  I know he’s got to be scared but he seems to relax and unwind just knowing that I am there to watch over him. 

Momma was the one who pried me away from my computer last night.  It was about normal time for bed and she let me have it.  I was okay to watch TV but she knew that I shouldn’t be pounding away on my keyboard.  Funny how they get to know your routine and develop their own as well. 

It’s been raining non stop here since Friday.  Flash Flood Warnings are in effect.  We had a gully washer roll through last night.  The rain is not expected to stop until tomorrow.  Lots of people have flooded basements, roads are closed and it’s just a general issue for everyone.  Nothing we haven’t been through before.  I could probably commute faster if I had an Arc, where is Noah when you need him?  Seriously, it’s a non issue for me at this point.  It hasn’t impacted my travels or my home.  My poor sump pump has been running forever, I just hope it doesn’t give out.  Like everything and everyone in this house, it’s old, so it’s anyone’s guess. 

This morning I wore my gay pride flag shirt out.  I found that I was treated differently when I went to grab my breakfast.  One of the many waiters I have a crush on was very short with me, polite to a degree but he didn’t give me much time.  Sure I wanted to ravage his body and do unspeakable things to him but it doesn’t mean I was going to act on my desire, just because today I chose to assert and show that I am gay.  Because of that I gave him a smaller tip that normal.  I’ll save the big tip for the guys who can handle it!  One of the waitresses did a double take on my shirt.  Later she came back by to tell me how much she really liked it.  I didn’t have any issues at the grocery store.  It’s normal for me to get feedback when I wear the shirt so it wasn’t anything that I didn’t expect.  I’ve never felt that I was treated differently when wearing it until today. 

Grocery Shopping is a task that I dislike, it’s abysmal when it’s raining.  Everything gets wet, your rushing so you can get dry and that’s when things can go really wrong.  Thankfully everything went okay for me and I lived but it was not an enjoyable experience.  I arrived home and as soon as I opened the door, there was my Big Boy looking right at me.  We were both pleased to see the other one.  As I was unpacking the groceries he started to vocalize the fact that he was hungry.  I found uneaten food on the floor and put that in front of him.  Eventually he made his way to the kitchen to say hey that wasn’t that bad but now I want attention.  He wouldn’t stop until I picked him up and put him on the couch.  That’s when he let loose and just relaxed.  It’s amazing that I have that affect on him.  He needs my hands and presses his paws up against my hands.  He tickled my palm.  He’s not trying to dig in with his claws but that happens sometimes.  Not enjoyable but I don’t yell at him.  We sat together on the couch and watched a movie.  He would perk up every now and then, something on the wall behind us was moving and of interest to him.  Ants, yes those fucking little monsters.  Not sure where they came from but I got rid of them.  Once I put him back on the floor he of course wanted more food.  I placed his water dish next to him along with some uneaten wet food.  Chow down.  He needs to eat his dry food or my next issue will be a blocked bladder.  Little does he know I have the dry food in wet form so we can work around his finicky pallet.  

I’ve been trapped inside all weekend partially because of the rain and partially because of financial concerns, just trying to save money.  It’s been a little enjoyable but tomorrow it all ends and it’s back to fun at work.  Plus I will be on-call.  Not looking forward to that but it comes with the job.  Thought about going in yesterday and even today to rearrange my cube but decided against it.  I’m fighting with myself and it’s not fun.  Part of me wants to give something new a try and the other part of me says leave it all alone.  Until I try what I have in mind I won’t know what I like best. 

The dating apps are still grabbing my attention.  I’ve taken so many chances on guys but no luck thus far.  After this week the subscriptions will start to end and that is when I will be taking a break or so that is the plan.  We shall see how I feel about it when the time comes to pass. 

Starting a new month tomorrow.  I’ve already flipped all of the calendars and on my men calendars there isn’t a single guy that is remotely attractive for May, it happens.  Hard to believe the year is getting close to being half way over with.  Time seems to be picking up and moving faster the older I get.  While it’s no secret that I haven’t been happy in a very long time, I hope that before the year is done that I can find some much needed happiness and maybe a special guy to go with it.  It’s not from lack of trying but I realize that I have limited myself to an electronic format.  In person would be better but I am not a bar type person, it’s a little more daunting to break the ice but most people won’t ignore you in person and you can quickly tell if there is interest.

Hoping the week ahead is all good with no bad not only for me but for you too.  I think Big Boy is out of the woods for the most part but I am still cautiously optimistic.  The immediate scare is over.  Lets hope he continues to go to the bathroom on his own and return to more of his normal self.  He’s to no more cat problems for a few years, hope that wish comes true!  Talk with you all again soon.

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