29 December 2015

Risky Move

By the title you can already tell that I did something that was risky.  One of the guys at work that I have a crush on and he’s straight … married with children, well he’s been baiting me to tell him that I am gay.  Today he told me a story about a friend of his who decided to come out of the closet.  From what he mentioned his friend and I have a lot in common.  So I gave in against my better judement and came out to him.  This is the same guy that is known to tell everything he knows.  I explained to him that the information that I shared with him was to stay between us and go no further.  I did tell him to mention me to his friend that just came out of the closet.  I also asked him to see a photo of the guy, he’s okay looking not someone that I would approach.  Who knows we may hit it off or we may just be good friends.  Either way I am hoping that this ends up a win in my book and not a move that I will regret. 

Tonight I looked up his friend on Facebook to take my time in looking at his photo and well my opinion hasn’t changed, he is average looking and again not someone that I would approach.  He works in Law Enforcement and I have an interest in that.  I’m not sure what will come of this but nothing ventured, nothing gained.  He knows other people that are gay and who knows maybe one of those people might be a match. 

I really surprised myself that I gave in because I have said that I would never, ever tell him.  Today I guess may have been a weak moment and he did admit to baiting me.  I was pretty blunt in that I told him I didn’t think I could trust him but I was going to give him a chance and hopefully he would prove me wrong and be able to keep my secret. 

Is it the end of the world if everyone at work knows?  Not really but it’s apart of my life that I prefer to keep to myself, I feel sexuality or sexual id has no place in the office.  There would be people that would talk about me but hey they already do that.  At the end of the day, I am who I am and there is no one or nothing that can change that.  I have had my sexual identity cost me a job in the past and therefore I am a bit skiddish about airing this information, as there is so much more riding on my job today than ever before.  If I lose my job, I think it would prove difficult to find a replacement and make what I am paid today, which thankfully is what is allowing me to continue to live in the house and pay all of the bills. 

Good move or bad move?  I suppose only time will tell.  Outside of that work has been kind of busy with people trying to get stuff done before the year grinds to a halt.  Tomorrow I expect will be busier than the past two but Thursday I suspect will be the quiet day of the week.  Lots of people are out and while I wish I was one of them, this is easy money so why not take it!

Time to pass out treats to the kids and call it a night.  Relaxing by playing with my iPhone because I didn’t get much of an opportunity today at work and I just have to know what is going on in social media and I have to check the dating apps.  Truth be told, I probably didn’t miss much.  Things are floating around here, water is everywhere.  Funny thing is one of our offices closed early yesterday because of snow flurries meanwhile we needed a canoe to get home and they made us work a full day.  Really?!  I hope your staying warm and that life is treating you well.

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