06 July 2013

Gay Dating

So I found myself watching a horrible movie last night.  It had to do with Gay Dating & Relationships.  They talked about Adam 4 Adam, never heard of it so I thought check it out.

I did that and also found Zoosk.  There is a handsome fellow on Zoosk that I really like.  Just don’t know about approaching him – if it’s the right thing for me.  Adam 4 Adam is a bust and I deleted my profile as fast as I created it.  They don’t allow you to filter to your specific area unless your in certain parts of the US.

Zoosk requires a facial photo, which I reluctantly uploaded.  Then I saw other photos and thought wow you don’t have to have a facial photo so I altered my photo and you can no longer see my face.  You never know who is going to be looking at your profile and there are certainly some whack jobs out there.

I honestly have no idea what to put in a profile to attract someone.  Plus I don’t know if I am really ready for this as much as I would like to try it.  Is this the right time?  I’ve got so much baggage right now I don’t know if I want to jump on another rollercoaster just yet.

It’s interesting to look, all sorts of guys out there.  I suppose Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now is out there for me, it’s just finding him.  It’s all about timing and I have no idea when or if I will ever truly be brave enough to go on the hunt.

The guy that I hit up initially still has his profile on Match and in fact he was active in the last 24 hours.  He told me that he should delete his profile because he had a boyfriend.  Yeah, what a load of crap.  I’ve got some extra weight and he didn’t want to bother with me.  Like fat people don’t deserve a companion. 

I can’t say I am in shape but I am not morbidly obese.  I love my food and no one will change that.  I am totally allergic to exercise.  I don’t mind going for a walk but that is about the extent of it. 

I’d like someone to call mine but I think once they hear my story they may in fact run the other way.  I can’t afford to be taken advantage of and I don’t know that I could handle being dumped.  However, if I hit it off with someone and the spark was there who knows what would happen.  It’s all about risk taking and I guess I am eager to get my feet wet but at the same time I think the water might be just a tad too cold for me.

When I see someone cute it just makes me motivated to want to hit them up.  I am obsessing about this guy right now who for all practical purposes I should probably just forget about.  I am not doing anything rash right now, will sleep on it.  If I feel that strongly tomorrow I will work on finishing my profile and making contact.  Otherwise, it will be wait some more.


In other news, the medical records arrived today.  I have scanned them in and e-mailed them to the attorney for review.  I asked him to let me know if I have a case or not.  Some of the information is in accurate like the time I last saw him as normal, they say I said 8:30 but I know I said 9:30.  I never, ever go to bed at 8:30.  I start getting ready but I have to have time to wind down. 

I read everything not that I could exactly understand everything but it was very apparent that his condition was much more serious than I initially thought.  I relived the entire experience by reading medical records.  There were over 40 pages and I have no bill, so I presume they just gave them to me.  If so, I am truly grateful.  Lord knows I need a break.

I have been thinking about the Minister that he used to write to.  That man said that we would come into a financial windfall.  We both thought that meant winning the lottery.  Now I am wondering if it was me that will come into the windfall through a lawsuit.  Lord knows I need money but I didn’t want it this way.  If however given the circumstances there is a case to pursue then I will take every penny I can get my hands on. 

No amount of money will ever bring him back or restore what we had.  However, money can make me confortable and take away some of the financial pressures that I am under.  If I could get enough to pay off the house, the bankruptcy I would be okay with that.  However, being greedy I would like a little more just as a safety net.  Of course instead of paying off the house, I could just bank it and borrow as needed, that would get me interest.  Something to think about, provided I come into money.

Right now it’s money that is going.  I dipped into savings to pay off my credit card and a few other bills.  I get paid on Monday but I just wanted to have things over and done with.  I’ve got 2 bills I am waiting on and then I will be done for the month.  Which will be nice.

I didn’t accomplish anywhere close to what I wanted to.  Cleaning out and throwing away just wasn’t in me.  I was fired up but it just didn’t happen.  I wanted to kick ass but instead just relaxed and was lazy.  I still have one more day and well I may kick it in to high gear tomorrow but I don’t expect that to happen. 

People food shopping tomorrow, followed by some Mexican food which I am totally hungry for.  Not sure on where I am going there are 3 places close and all of which are reasonable.  It will either be lunch or supper.  I’ve got my breakfast in the fridge.

Tonight I went out with my mom and brother to Olive Garden.  It was nice to see them.  Mom sure has put on the weight and she totally fried her hair.  She wants to get back into hospice but I really don’t think they should let her.  She is delusional and that is just not the type of person that should be going to see people that are about to die.  Much less dealing with their families.  Not my worry though.  The meal was nice.  I totally expected them to pick up mine and they had the same thought.  However, I told the waitress separate checks so that solved it.  No hurt feelings.  We each paid our fair share and called it a day.  I cheated though because I had a gift card.  It’s all gone $25 for one damn meal.  Now I know why I don’t hit Olive Garden that often. 

Monday will suck because I have all sorts of little tasks waiting for me.  I don’t want to deal with all of them but I really don’t have a choice.  Just as long as boss man keeps his distance I think I will be okay.  Plus I need to get two machines started and finished to keep on schedule.  Otherwise, it will just delay my big finish which right now looks to be months away.  Holy cow!

Well time to head up and watch TV.  Morning will be here before you know it.  Then I will be really sad because it’s Sunday and Sunday’s just suck.  One more day closer to Monday and the daily 5 day a week grind that I so loathe. 

Oh one good thing happened, I listed several items on e bay.  I did both a fixed price and allowed folks to bid.  If you give them the weight and dimensions then tell them the carrier, they figure shipping for you.  I did say all sales are final I don’t want any returns.  I have a few more things to list but wanted to see how this pans out.  Everything I listed will be up for 30 days.  If it doesn’t sell then I will consider lowering prices to get it to move.  I did raise some prices just because I thought I could get more out of certain items.  I look forward to seeing what happens and my hopes are not up.  I honestly think no one will want any of it but I have to at least try.  I don’t want to give stuff away.

e bay charges you fees for little things like the layout, so you have to be careful.  I listed everything with basic settings so I didn’t have to pay any fees.  You have to upload photos, at least 1 of each item.  I had the covered.  We shall see.

Happy Weekend or what’s left of it.  Talk with you peeps later.

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