I turned on the TV this morning and accidents are everywhere. We have black ice in the area. The way I normally like to travel to work the bridge is closed. The backup route I heard a dispatch for a 6-vehicle accident. Looks like I picked the right day to work from home. I looked outside and see lots of frost on a neighbor’s vehicle. So glad I park in a garage I don’t miss the days of having to scrape.
Surprisingly I had a decent night’s sleep. My dreams were strange but I honestly don’t remember them now. I woke up at 6a to use the restroom and had an hour left to sleep. I used that to my advantage but the hour went by quickly.
I am extremely nervous this morning and thinking about the prospective new cats. Trying to think of everything I need to do around here to clean up. I am still on the fence about getting them. I want them but not exactly keen about the responsibilities part. Plus, the whole learning each other’s habits and adjusting. I’d like to wait a little bit longer but my fear is that these two will be gone. Yeah, there could and probably will be others that need a home. The difficult thing is finding a bonded pair, they aren’t that common. Lots of individual cats and you could probably mix them but they wouldn’t be related. It’s kind of strange/uncommon to me how much I am focused on family considering that I really don’t have one myself.
I kind of feel pressured into this along with my apprehension/anxiety. I am glad that I am at least seeing my doctor before the next meet & greet, that might help me to think this through a bit more. I really want them but I also want to run away and not think about this. I’m pretty sure if I give in and they come here that things will fall into place and all of the pressure will resolve. I might even look back on this and feel silly. Right now, it’s kind of like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t type of situation. There is good and bad with each decision (to take them or not).
Despite this not being a replacement for Gator it really kind of feels like in a way I am trying to erase what happened or forget her. That’s not the case but it’s like I can’t live without a cat and I know that’s not true. It just makes life a little more enjoyable so long as the cat is well behaved and in good health.
I am on-call this week so there is that fun to deal with. I am eager for Thursday so I can shut mail off on my phone for a bit but I will need to turn it back on Friday at 5p. It’s going to be a busy personal week and probably a busy professional week. I am still ready for a vacation, even if it’s just sleeping in at home being away from work right now would be helpful so I think. Then again, I kind of really just don’t want to work for a living, I’ve done it for a while and it’s getting to be old hat quickly. However, I am thankful that I have a job and one that pays reasonably well.
Here's hoping that things fall into place like they are supposed to, my nerves calm down and I get comfortable with whatever decision I make. If the nervous issue can’t resolve quickly, hopefully it lessens as each day passes and we get closer to the Meet & Greet time.
That’s all I know for now. Hope it’s a good day for everyone. Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment