Pleasant Evening

Tuesday morning was rough to get going but I made it. Cold out and I got a little bit of a jump on the commute to make it to the office at my normal desired start time. I saw one person which was our receptionist. I got water and then spent the morning in my office and when I had a chance to look up it was 11a. I stood up and stretched out then a quick trip to the restroom and back to my desk where I was in a meeting. Before too long it was noon and I got a note from my vendor asking to move the meeting. It was either up 1 hour or come back on Thursday. I opted to move the meeting up 1 hour. I wound up painting myself into a corner and had less than 30 minutes to gobble a sandwich for lunch. I continued to work so really didn’t take lunch. The vendor gave me the bad news that the install swap will take about 3 days of work and that is starting at around 6a to 7a. You know I will probably have to be on-site all 3 days and that is something I don’t look forward to, much less breaking it to Gator, she will take it the hardest. Right now, it’s a matter of waiting for the quote to come in and I am sure this will not be a cheap job. There is a rush to get the work done so I am sure the quote could be a million dollars and they will bite for it. Just waiting for a few days to see what comes rolling in. While no time is really ideal, I hope that we can do the work next year vs. in the month of December. They don’t work evenings and it’s going to be a big mess no matter when the work is done. I left at 3:30p and made it home by 4:30p. I promised Gator I would be home by 5p.

I did take a little bit of time to play at work but it was less than 10 minutes. I tried to test this new hard drive and it froze up my machine. That was the final straw. When I came home, I formatted the drive one last time. Then started the return process and quickly whisked it off to the UPS Store to get my refund credited back to my account. I ordered a new drive, the one I wanted in the first place and it will be here on Saturday. It’s a normal spinning hard drive there is only 12TB of space which is a lot less than the original drive I bargained for but I hope that the 12TB will be more reliable and that is the compromise along with paying a bit of a higher price that I was willing to gamble on. I think I will be very happy in the end.

Of course, no day is complete without some chaos. When I arrived home and got in front of my computer to grab this defective hard drive, I heard an alarm coming from the closet. The UPS that was powering the modem, router and water softener was dead. The power was on but the alarm signaled that the battery was dead. Despite all hope I tried to revive it but knew in my heart that wouldn’t be possible. I had to make yet another Amazon purchase and got a replacement. Oddly enough I picked something that was made for low powered devices, it was on sale for around $60 and I had delivery same day within a few hours. It’s powered up and has been charging all night. I need to take time to do the install it will mean that my home will be offline for about 15 minutes. I am thinking later this evening when things have more of a chance of being calm but you know no matter when I do the work I will be cursed and something will come in needing my attention.

I finally was able to get settled in next to Gator around 6p and started watching 9-1-1 but only got in a few minutes when I got an alert from Twich that Andrewgoesplaces (Andrew Neighbors) was live. Man, he hasn’t streamed in a very long time. I got to his channel and paused the TV. It was really good to see him. I figured the stream would last a few minutes but it went on for 2 hours. I wound up turning the TV off and watching his stream as my evening entertainment. I am not a gamer or as he says gaymer but I was more there to listen to him talk and he did spend a good portion of the stream just talking and not playing a game. He has had some drama happen to him, which kind of caused him to take a pause from being online. It kind of makes sense why his YouTube channel name changed to Andrew. I didn’t know the back story but now that I do it all makes sense. It was a great way to spend the evening and I felt refreshed. Kind of a bonus to the day. I always enjoy watching his streams. He’s quite pleasing to the eyes. He even showed his chest and arms towards the end of the stream and it was pretty quick. He never disappoints with showing skin!

As if seeing Andrew wasn’t good enough, earlier in the evening, I got a call from a jeweler that had my late mother-in laws diamond ring on consignment for close to 10 years with the news that it finally sold. I remember the day I dropped it off and needing money right away, my heart sank when they told me it could be up to a year before it sold. I got out of that jam and into many more but here we are almost 10 years later and it finally sold. I am not getting nearly what it was worth as I had to settle and with it being on the market, I reduced the price in the past few years so I am getting even less. I can’t remember what I opted for but the check will be in the mail today and I should have it by the weekend or so I hope. I got to the point where I forgot about the ring being there but when it would spark my memory from time to time, I would call to check on it. I am surprised that it took this long to sell but it was an old-fashioned diamond ring that was kind of out of present fashion style or so the jeweler told me.

While I hope that seeing Andrew and the ring selling is the wind changing direction and perhaps things are on the upswing for me and I want nothing more, I think that it’s just good fortune that happens to all of us from time to time. It would be nice if I was wrong and if life was a bit rosier than it has been of late I for sure I am not holding my breath. Just taking it one day at a time and dealing with whatever comes my way but I for sure hope that the good far outweighs the bad.

It's really cold here today and feels much more like December. A nice day for soup and blankets. I was really sleeping pretty well. The alarm clock had to wake me up and that almost never happens it’s either my own internal alarm clock or Gator that wake me the most. I really didn’t want to get out of bed but hey I got to sleep an hour longer today despite being up a few times during the night with Gator.

Here’s hoping for a great day for all of us. Middle of the week and last day of November. It’s all downhill from here as we count down the final days of the year and go marching into 2023. Take care and we will talk again soon. Stay warm!

Man Candy Monday

Thank God for Data Backup

I’m not exactly sure what happened but I managed to loose my archive of porn when I did my data transfer.  I used the copy command and confirmed that everything copied in place.  All of the files and size of the total files matched.  I deleted the original and man that freed up some serious space.  However, what I didn’t know is that when I went to move additional files to the new drive it managed to lose some of the data that was already transferred.  So much for reliability. 

The horror came when I went to try to recover the files and didn’t see them in my on-line data backup providers console.  Fortunately I figured it out and there is far too much data to try to restore it by downloading it.  I had to pay for the data to be restored to a hard drive and then shipped to me.  I got that squared away this morning and it was not a cheap option.  Once I get the data off of the drive they send me I can return it for my money back but I think I am going to keep it and just put it some place safe offline so that if there ever is a need again I can recover easily.  Of course they will ship the drive by FEDEX and chances are really good that I will need to be here to sign for it.  I only hope that it arrives later in the week and not tomorrow since I won’t be here. 

I was really upset when I saw the data was gone, that’s a lot of downloading and there are some items that were part of subscriptions that I can’t get back.  I am so glad that I was able to find it in the archives and get it restored.  Not exactly the way I wanted to start my Monday. 

As for the new drive, I have formatted it in NTFS it was originally formatted EXFAT which is typical for USB items.  I am doing some testing before I go trusting it again.  If it passes great if it fails well then I will format it one last time and send it back for a refund and get what I originally wanted.  This was a bargain find and sometimes you truly do get what you pay for.  It really honestly shouldn’t be a problem.  This is my first External SSD (Solid State Drive) but they are designed the same the idea is that it’s just a memory chip and there are no moving parts so it should last longer than a traditional spinning drive.  I know this will work out one way or another but I hope that it’s the easy route for my sake.  It will take some time before I truly trust it and even then I probably will have some doubts.  Looks like it’s going to take a bit of time before this is truly complete. 

In other news I still have yet to order any 2023 Calendars which is kind of odd for me.  Normally they have all been picked out and are here.  I am not sure why I am waiting but I am not terribly in a hurry to do anything but go back to bed. 

It is rough getting back into the groove the only nice thing is that there isn’t any catchup to play or email to dig out of due to the break, that is the other great thing about a holiday.  When I take off 2 days next week coming back will be extra rough because there will be catchup to play and email to dig out of.  I’ve formed a new habit when I am not on-call and it’s the weekend I turn off work email on my phone and don’t turn it back on until Sunday night. 

Gator had me up 3 times last night and I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep but I am trying my best to power through the day.  Might take some caffeine and sugar.  Fortunately thus far today is not that busy.  Tomorrow will be a busy day and me meeting with a vendor in the afternoon, which is the whole reason why I need to go in.  I am anxious to get that over with and get home for the day.  I do plan on leaving a bit early but that kind of depends on how things are going for the day in general. 

Ready to get today over with so that I can shave and get back to bed.  I sure am tired and that little data scare didn’t help me any.  Just glad that I can afford the option I chose. 

Here’s hoping that things will be fast moving and calm so that I can relax a bit, clam down and get the rest that I need tonight.  Thinking about soup for lunch, it sounds so good and it’s quick to fix.  Not exactly sure what I am eating tonight.  I know I won’t starve but I am starting to get tired of Turkey, there is a little bit left along with a lot of ham.  Perhaps a sandwich and some stuffing as a side then some Chocolate Cake.  It’s not as good as the restaurants cake but it will do. 

Hope you have a good day.  Two more days after today left in this month and then we are in full down hill swing mode to running the year out in the final month of December.  Take care, stay warm and be well.  

Last Day of Rest

Sadly today is the last day of the Thanksgiving Break.  Not a lot has happened over the past couple days but there have been a few things. 

Saturday I didn’t want to get out but because the trash barrel needed to be brought in I opted to get out.  Good thing I did because FedEx brought my new vacuum and it was sitting on my front porch.  I had no idea.  I grabbed that after bringing in the trash barrel.  Then it was off to the cat food store for Gator.  Then to the post office where I picked up the check that was supposed to be delivered to me earlier in the week.  It had someone’s boot print on it which didn’t make me happy but the check it’s self was fine and I got it deposited.  Then home.  I finished the Cesar Salad prior to going out but by the time I got back my sugar was dropping.  I finished off the 4 Cheese Ravioli and had an Ice Cream Bar.  Got Gator fed and sat with her for a bit before I headed down to work on the computer.  Got my holiday letter out to a former co-worker.  I really hadn’t been wanting to compose that but it’s done.  Laundry is done as well.  I also had to complete a rebate form and get it mailed off.  Ah such fun.  It was a little after 8p when I got upstairs and Gator wasn’t happy but I got her some more food, put away the laundry, finally got settled in the chair and once she was in my lap all was well.  We sat for a few hours before I got up to prep for bed.  It was late before I got to sleep and I didn’t sleep all that well. 

Sunday no surprise I didn’t want to get out of bed.  My internal alarm clock got me up at normal time as if I was going to work.  Gator saw me and that was the end of that.  I got her fed.  I wanted to go back to bed but that didn’t work out that well for me.  I wound up cuddling with Gator and watching some TV while passing the time away.  I put her in my bed and she liked the new topper but I don’t think she liked being up so high from the ground.  After about 30 minutes she wanted down and I finally got up and got breakfast, got the dishes going and then dressed and off to the store.  I didn’t need all that much but still managed to spend a fair amount of money.  I had plans to hit up a second grocery store but that didn’t materialize today.  Next weekend however it shall.  I am on the hunt for a specific Christmas Cookie and I want it.  Tired of waiting and hoping on my regular store to put them out.  They could be out but I have no idea where they are I’ve scoured the store and they don’t have what I am looking for thus far. 

Once I was home I got the groceries put away.  Then exhausted I returned to my room and the chair.  Where Gator sat in my lap and we watched more TV.  I eventually got up and ate some left over ham, which was surprisingly good.  I don’t like hot ham but this cold left over stuff was damn good.  I looked for a side of Sweet Potatoes at the store but all of those sides were long gone, only Mac & Cheese was left and I didn’t want that.  I could have a well rounded left over meal if I had some sweet potatoes.  Ah well it’s left over Turkey and Dressing tonight with some gravy.  I’ve got frozen TV Dinners to fall back on for the week and also picked up a couple of Frozen Pizzas.  Pizza actually sounds good but I don’t want to make the effort to go out for it. 

I stayed true to my word and didn’t go out for breakfast.  No word from the waiter and honestly I will be shocked if I ever do hear from him.  The new vacuum is put together and it works really well.  Not a huge surprise on what it picked up as my former vacuum was doing a good job.  This new thing is much quieter and versatile.  It kind of reminds me a little bit of my old Dyson which compares in price to what I paid for the new vacuum which is a Shark Stratos.  It was much easier to clean my recliner from pet hair than it normally is and I’m impressed thus far.

Working on my porn file transfer and the new drive is being very strange.  It has the data but then it just vanishes into thin air.  Which makes me very happy that I am using copy instead of move.  I am having some trust issues and if I can’t cure them this new drive will be kicked back to Amazon and I will get something different.  I need space and want to keep the files I have.  Hopefully this all works out. 

Not looking forward to Monday and getting back into the groove but Tuesday is the day I am really going to hate, mostly because I am on-call this week and that always sucks.  The best part is that I work all week long then next week only work 3 days and am off on Thursday & Friday.  It will be time to see the doctor again and I will enjoy another long weekend.  Then it’s work for the rest of the year.  We get Monday the 26th off for Christmas Day so there is that to look forward to. 

Need to head up and put out my meds for next week and then work on heating up dinner.  I bought 1/2 of a Chocolate Cake and I plan to have some of that for dessert.  I had got my friends neighbor a piece of Chocolate Cake with Thanksgiving Dinner and I thought for sure he would share it but damn if he didn’t take the whole thing home.  I left hungry for Chocolate Cake so I cured my craving or I will tonight!  Hoping for a no drama week that moves by fast.  Already looking forward to next weekend.  I will go back to my normal routine and eat breakfast out.  Something just feels off if I don’t follow my routines.  Although I must say it was nice to be lazy this morning if only for a few hours. 

Hope all is well in your world.  Take care!

Debrief Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is over and today is the best part, a day of recovery or doing whatever you want. Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday not only because of the food but because you get the day after off and don’t have to worry about going back to work like you do with every other holiday, they are all 1-day events and if you want additional time you have to use vacation.

I got many calls from my Thanksgiving friends on the day of because I never responded to the text message. I got an email as well as 2 voice mails. They figured Gator was dead and I was sitting in a corner not knowing what to do with myself. I ignored them on purpose since the notice I got about the time to eat was last minute. I’m tired of being last. When something happens to Gator, I have no idea how I will be, but rest assured right now she is fine.

I was the first one there just sat outside in the rain in my vehicle waiting for the food wagon to pull up and then I carried in the bulk of the food. It was super heavy and there was plenty. Everyone got something to take home. My bad had Ham/Turkey, left over Spaghetti, 4 Cheese Ravioli, A whole order of stuffing (never that that), Gravy, Cesar Salad and Pumpkin Praline Cheesecake. I’ve got enough to make it through the weekend and don’t need to go out to eat at all. The spaghetti is done, had that for lunch. Had part of the Cesar salad as well. I plan to fix myself a plate when I go up in a bit.

It was a nice time, some lively conversation, some of the old stories about pets came up. They have cat that they keep saying had a stroke because he mimics the symptoms of a person who has had a stroke. He walks in circles. The other cats hiss at him and he’s generally not himself. He had a cold but some antibiotics cleared that up. It sounds like he had an infection that went to his brain and it’s really fucked him up. I think they will wind up losing him just because he poses a safety hazard, if you don’t watch out it’s easy to trip over him. My friends are both up there in age and a fall could easily cause a bone to break or some other serious type injury. I hate that they let their cat get so sick that it scrambled his brain but they have quite the herd of cats. I kind of expected better from them but there isn’t much I can do about it.

This was oddly the first year that there was no talk about Christmas Dinner so perhaps I got myself on the naughty list or maybe they aren’t thinking that far ahead right now. I’m sure time will tell.

I sent a text to the waiter wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving but he of course being a millennial didn’t bother to respond. I’m done with texting him; the next move has to come from him. I’m sure our paths will cross when I eat out but this weekend I plan to purposely stay away if I can manage. It’s tough to resist going out for breakfast.

Today has pretty well been spent sleeping and being with Gator. I came down to check and work on the computer around 2p and went back up once to feed her. I need to gather the trash, put on some pants and push the trash barrel out to the curb or I am going to have a mess on my hands. Lazy is the name of the game here right now. Not much on TV but I am sure I will manage to land on something this evening that will occupy me until it’s time to turn in.

My first porn data copy job finally finished. I have been able to reboot and I have another job started. It should finish up tomorrow. I don’t expect to be finished with this project anytime soon but I will be a bit happier or so I hope when I am done.

Time to tend to the trash and get moving. It’s only 6:30p and it feels so much later to me. It’s not like I need to be up early for anything tomorrow but Gator is doing her best to keep me on my regular schedule. It will really suck come Sunday night but for right now I am going to ride the ride for all it’s worth and enjoy. I never touched a computer yesterday and it was around 8p when I got to review social media. Gator was sleeping in my lap at the time and had been given food. As long as she is taken care of and happy then I’m happy. It would be nice if things materialized with this waiter dude but I honestly think that is going no where fast which is why I won’t be investing more of my time until he invests some of his. Fingers crossed that it will happen.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and are enjoying Friday and soon the weekend. Take care and be well.

Happy Thanksgiving

Good Morning and Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is my favorite holiday primarily because it centers around food, which is something that I love.  It’s also the one time of year that I get Italian Sausage Dressing and it’s so good and it’s gone way too fast.  I have a Friendsgiving rather than a traditional Thanksgiving which is usually spent with family.  My family, other than my brother has all passed.  Me and my brother are polar opposites and don’t get along that well.  I’d like to talk with him more often but he’s got his wife and her family that smother him and have converted him into their cult behavior so he doesn’t think of me, which is fine. 

This is a holiday that centers around being thankful.  I am most thankful for my old little girl Gator and that she has made it 18 long years.  I pray that she keeps going for many more.  I’m also thankful that I have a decent job, a great ride and a house.  That I am financially making it.  I’m not rich but I’m not starving either.  There are many other things to be thankful for, one of which my grandfather used to remind me of which is my health.  He said if you have your health then you have plenty to be thankful for.  That is very true. 

I miss my family both my late spouse and my furry family that have all passed.  I wish they were healthy and here with me.  I know that I would be much happier.  However, I am thankful that I got to know them and care for them. 

If you stop and really think about it, no matter what your life is like you can find plenty of things and people to be thankful for.  I hope that you are able to enjoy this day with family and/or friends and have a meal and make some memories. 

Thanks for stopping by and for your readership.  May this be a great day for all of us to take time to reflect for all of the things we are thankful for. 

It’s about time

Nothing like waiting until the last day to communicate the plan for Thanksgiving.  I woke up to a text message telling me what time to be there.  It was a bit patronizing and I really wanted to reply with “Thanks for finally telling me what time were eating”.  But instead I responded with silence thus far.  I’m sure I will probably get a phone call but I am not holding my breath.  I got the message and will show up for the food.  I know it will be the same where we have to eat dinner, then desert will come later because my friend thinks there should be a pause between the two.  I however would rather consume all of the food at once, it’s all one meal and I don’t normally pause to eat desert.  I mean it happens sometimes but not that often. 

Today will be a long boring day where there probably will be highs but mostly lows.  Not that many people show up today the bulk of the organization is off and thus why it’s typically quiet.  I plan to leave early despite the fact I am at home.  Just take the forward off of my desk phone and then watch my email from upstairs.  If something pops I can react but once it gets late enough I will turn work email off until late in the day on Sunday.  It’s so refreshing to not hear the work email alert tone on my phone. 

I was thinking this morning before I headed downstairs, this time tomorrow morning I can do whatever it is that I want.  Nothing like relaxing and knowing that you don’t have any commitments, other than going to dinner.  Friday or Black Friday as it’s better known in the US I plan to stay home and not go any place.  The crazy people are out in traffic.  I like to listen to the police scanner but I will probably sleep the bulk of the day away. 

My first wave of file transfers to the new hard drive are still going.  I need to reboot my system when this wave if finally done.  Right now the estimate says more than a day remaining.  I think if I had two high speed USB ports available that would help this transfer move much faster.  I hate watching this chug along but I’m sure it’s faster than it would have been a few years back but it’s still moving slow by my standard. 

No word on shipping of my glasses or the vacuum that I ordered.  I am anxious to try out the new vacuum to see if it lives up to all of the hype that was touted on TV.  I think the glasses will show up in the next week and the vacuum will lag behind.  Warby is usually pretty fast about shipping.  I am kind of surprised that they haven’t already dropped them in the mail.  I think everything will probably be a little bit delayed due to the holiday and then the influx of mail for the holiday season. 

Hope that you all have a nice relaxing and enjoyable day before the holiday.  I’m looking forward to some good food.  The one thing that I haven’t had in years is Green Bean Casserole.  I’d sure love some of that.  Take care, stay well and warm.   

Data Transfer Time

Morning … I did some testing last week and I am now in the process of moving files to my new hard drive.  It’s going to be a very long process and will likely be a week if not longer before I am done.  Yeah I know I’ve got lots of porn.  Sometimes I wonder why I save it all but there are very few scenes that I acquire that I just watch and delete.  I’ll think about a particular performer or a specific scene and want to watch it again.  I collect a few things and gay porn is just one of those things.  It’s not something that I share with everyone.  Finding enough drive space has always been a challenge for me.  I get a few TB on a new hard drive and I think it will be forever before I fill this up, then within a year or two it’s full.  32TB will take more than a year or two to fill at the rate I obtain new scenes. 

I am watching the White Lotus on HBO and the whole things is kind of strange but I find it interesting to see where the plot will go.  In the first season there was a gay sex scene.  I think but don’t know for sure that something like that will happen in season two.  There has been some hetero sex scenes.  Two hookers who have made their way into interacting (not necessarily having sex) with a Grandfather, Father and Son.  The Father knows they are hookers because he has a sexual addiction and hired them but decided to hit it and quit it.  The son and the Grandfather have no idea they are hookers. 

The Circus on Showtime and Last Week Tonight With John Oliver on HBO are both done for this year.  LWT will be back in February.  I’m not sure when The Circus will return.  I like both shows very much. 

Had some Chicken Enchiladas, a Magnum Double Raspberry Ice Cream Bar and a couple Lemon Oreos for supper.  Lunch was a Ham Sandwich.  The main meals will likely be the same today as I have left overs. 

Had a nice evening with Gator, she went to bed early.  Not sure if she wasn’t feeling well or just tired of me.  However, when I finally settled down she asked for food and wolfed down 1/2 a can and then asked to be in my lap where she promptly fell asleep after a little bit of attention.  After an hour I was out and by the time I woke her up, she got down and I got in bed.  I was awake again and watched some TV but I had to listen to her cry because the TV was on.  I finally gave in and turned the TV off.  She kept crying I told her to get some water, that’s something she does just before she finally gets up and makes her way to the fountain.  I heard her stomp her way out of the room and then I was in slumber land. 

There was plenty of work this morning, yesterday afternoon after I stopped for the day things started building for me this morning.  I am through the bulk of it and have 2 meetings today.  1 this morning and 1 this afternoon.  I am hopeful that I will be able to get away a bit early tomorrow.  I try for that every day but the day before a holiday yeah I try extra hard.  Nothing like kicking back and relaxing. 

Hope you all have a great Tuesday.  Stay warm and be well.  Thanks for your visit today.  

Short Week

Morning!

Despite it being a short week, I still have a case of the Monday’s and since it’s shorter week that makes it a bit worse for me. I really do not want to work at all this week. I would just as soon that we were closed but you know big business and that almighty dollar, were lucky that we get two days off. I guess that’s something to be thankful for.

Had a relaxing evening I am watching Down To Earth season 2 on Netflix. It never gets old looking at Zac Efron. He is so hot and ripped. Man, I wish he was my boyfriend and I know that I am not the only Gay Guy that has that thought. It’s a great series and outside of looking at Zac when he’s shirtless you can actually learn a lot. This is a very interesting show. I could have finished it all this weekend but I am taking the slow and savory approach. I’ve got 3 more episodes left and they will be watched over the course of this week if not all of them tonight.

Gator was a sleepy head yesterday. She slept away the bulk of the day. She decided to get a bit more active in the evening. When I was cleaning the house and had to vacuum in my room that is when she finally woke up. I got her to leave her nice warm bed for something to eat. Then she wanted to sit in my lap for a bit. Then she wanted down and more food. Then it was water and finally a different plate of food. I gave her Fish & Shrimp much to my dismay. That seems to cause her system to have some issues and I’ve got a few cans of it but I only gave her 1 can and don’t plan to give any of the others of this variety anytime soon. She really enjoyed it and ate almost the whole thing but took the slow and savory approach.

I had a Lemon Biscotti and a Magnum Double Caramel Ice Cream Bar for super with 2 Diet Cokes. I was never really hungry especially after having my McDonald’s food craving. It all was so good and I can easily do it all over again.

Watched some YouTube stuff and then reverted back to Mike & Molly as my sleeping pills kicked in. I jumped in bed and of course then I was wide awake. Gator kept crying because I made her go to bed and she wanted the TV off. I finally gave in to her and that’s the last I remember I managed to roll over and it was light out not only in the room but for me as well.

Gator woke me around 1a for some food. I think there was another wake-up call. I remember kind of wanting food at 1a but I talked myself out of it and climbed back in bed. Slept pretty well. I know that Wednesday night I should sleep pretty good as well knowing that I don’t have to get up early for anything on Thursday morning. I’ve already got the DVR set for the Thanksgiving Parade. I am still waiting on my notification for as to what time were eating. While I doubt, I will be forgotten if I am I at least know of one place open where I can get a meal.

Looks like I’ve got a meeting to head to in a short while. Outside of that the next meeting is after lunch and then I am done for the day. I plan on trying to leave early and so long as nothing comes up and no one bothers me I will be successful. I am laying low and that is by design.

Happy Monday!

THE GOOD – THE BAD & THE UGLY

Greetings and welcome!

In browsing my YouTube feed this morning I saw something about a shooting in Colorado Springs CO at a Gay Night Club. This was quite a shock and I had no idea. No breaking news alerts on my phone and today of course is one of the two days that I don’t watch the news on TV. It’s sad that another mass shooting in the United States took place. It seems that our leadership in the country is blind to the fact that we need stronger gun laws and penalties in place if you commit such an act that the punishment would be severe enough to serve as a deterrent. Granted it won’t deter everyone who is hell bent on committing a crime like this but I think that it would help lessen the likelihood that another one of these types of events would occur. This is of course my own opinion and in the grand scheme of things it is of little value. I know that there are plenty of other folks out there that feel the same way I do. We need to actually get up and do something instead of talking about it. Churches, Schools, Shopping Centers, Night Clubs and many other places where events like this have taken place, would be a little bit safer if our law makers took some steps in the right direction. Don’t misunderstand me I don’t want to take away your gun if you are legally possessing it, that is a right afforded to you under the US Constitution. There is however no reason for anyone to own an assault style weapon. I know the weapon in this particular shooting has been disclosed as a long rifle. While I haven’t heard much about the shooter or his motive(s) it’s my assumption that he has some mental health issues. If you develop mental health issues there should be a system in place that takes away any and all of your firearms. Again, that is my opinion. It doesn’t mean that it will become law or that it’s even a correct opinion but it is how I feel. My deepest sympathies to all of the victims of this event. I know that your lives have all changed forever and it’s not fair or right. You did nothing wrong.

Today has been a productive day for me. My body permitted me to get some rest even though I catered to Gator’s hunger needs throughout the night. I tried an experiment in that I only took ½ of my evening dose of Diabetes medication. I had no sweets for dessert just the pasta I ate at Red Lobster in the afternoon. I’m going to do the same thing tonight. I checked my sugar this morning and it was at 88 which is still low for me but if I had taken the full dose of medicine, it would have been in the 70’s and that is what I think was causing me to wake up, my body was like “Danger, your sugar is too low eat something”. My best guess tells me that I won’t get those types of warnings and thus will be able to sleep more. That’s not a cure for my insomnia but it should mean more time for me to get the sleep that I need.

I got the dishes going early this morning because I forgot about them last night. I was wiped out. Took some time to sit and feed Gator on the couch. She really loved that and was all about the food. I told her I can’t do this every morning so don’t go getting used to it. It’s not going to become a regular habit. I still sit with her for a little bit and let her eat some even when I am working. There is less time spent with her if I need to leave for the office because it’s all about getting out and into traffic to beat the rush.

I went to breakfast, got sat in the cute waiter’s section. He always calls me Sir and in years past I would have thought nothing of it. Today hearing it from the right person is really a turn on. I asked him if he got my text and he said yes. I said then tell me what my name is. He had to look at his phone but he knew my name. That was all of the proof I needed. There was some minor small talk and then he took my order. After he walked away it just washed over me like a wave, he’s just being friendly and has no intentions of following through on getting that bite to eat. As my meal progressed and he checked on me I asked him if he works everyday and he said that one particular week day is his free day in the morning. By the afternoon he is busy. That is kind of what affirmed my earlier thought. He also told me that he has to work a double shift on Thanksgiving. They are open every holiday but Christmas. That’s crazy but I get it people need some place to eat at. I ran out of soda and he said he would bring me another. He got sat with another table and had to take care of them. He brought me a large to go cup full of soda which was well worth the $3.19 I had to pay for the initial glass. He remarked I guess you can leave me. I said you’ve got my number and know how to find me if you need me. His retort was that is true. He asked what I was up to today and I said grocery shopping. With that I headed to the cashier to pay my bill. It would be really nice if things came together and we clicked. He works so much that I honestly don’t think he has time for a relationship. I’m going to let it play out and see what happens but I’ve lowered my hopes and expectations. If I am wrong then so be it, I can always increase them if he reaches out and we meet up. I’m thinking of not going there for breakfast next weekend. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I kind of wonder if he will reach out to even check up on me. I don’t think so, again I could be wrong.

I hit up Target before the grocery store. Man, I had no plans to drop $100 but I managed to do that and a bit more. I needed a little of this, some of that. I got my Casserole dish and they also had Chicken Enchiladas in a Cheese Queso and I have to try that. Some big meals but it will deter me from going out for supper tonight for sure. Not exactly sure what I will have.

On to the grocery store didn’t get a whole lot but dropped $65. Then on to the gas station where my credit card was declined not once but twice. I had to switch cards and then the alerts came in about the transaction being decline and I was asked if I was trying to make it. I mean I stop there every week to two weeks for gas and use the same card. I renewed a piece of software last night and it was an International Purchase. That was out of the ordinary for me and I suspect it’s what tripped the pattern to say this card could be being used fraudulently. It’s all turned back on and good now.

I came home unloaded everything I purchased and put it away. Then got undressed, had to feed Gator again. She gulped down a few quick bites and then clamored to get into my lap and I was all too accommodating for that. We sat for about two hours watching TV, which is when I found out about the shooting. I started to nap a little bit and that’s when I said time to get going. She wanted lunch and I needed to make a run to the cat food store. I got her a little bit of food just to ensure that she has a nice variety of flavors for her ever so picky taste buds.

While I was out, I kept thinking about a livestream I saw earlier in the week where a porn star went live and he was just sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot eating their food. It started out with French Fries and they looked so damn good. Then he got the Quarter Pounder out and that was gone quickly. Then he moved into some McNuggets and that’s when I had to end the stream. It was not healthy to watch him and he kept asking everyone so who’s going to McDonald’s because they saw this. Then he asked McDonald’s to please send him money. Not sure that’s how that works. Anyway, it was enough to make me go. I got my own Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Large Fry. I never finish all of my fries but today I sure did. The whole meal was so good but also so unhealthy for me.

After that it was time to get ready for my colleagues’ funeral and I tuned into watch. I’ve never been to a Jewish Funeral before. The service was scheduled to last for an hour but they were done in a quick 30 minutes. It was a nice service. This was the first in the line of many things that the family had to go through. The burial was private. They have a Shiva service and then there is a memorial service for him a bit later tonight. This was apparently a very large Temple and the crowd was overflowing into Standing Room Only. That man touched so many lives and it’s such a shock that all of a sudden, he’s gone. Going into the office won’t be quite the same. I will miss hearing his infectious laugh several times throughout the day. To my knowledge he never had a sick day and only took time off for his shoulder surgery a couple years ago. What a guy! May he rest in peace.

Last night I did some on-line shopping. I got my new glasses ordered from Warby Parker. Damn almost $300. I’ve got insurance but I will bare some of that cost. I went with Warby Parker because they are far cheaper than buying them at the eye doctor. However, I saw my vision insurance provider offers a 30% discount if you get your glasses the same day that you get your eye exam and it’s all done at the same doctor’s office. That’s kind of nice. Every eye doctor manages to interpret my vision insurance benefits differently and I think I wind up getting screwed in the end. I also bought the new vacuum that I’ve had my eye on that was another $470. I’ve got the cash to pay but damn it’s far easier to spend money than it is to make it.

Time to do some quick surfing, grab the laundry and head upstairs. Where I will get to put out my pills for next week, make the bed, vacuum and prepare for tomorrow. Kind of sucks having to go back to work but it’s a short 3 days and it will fly by. I still am in the dark as to what time were supposed to gather on Thanksgiving and chances are good that I won’t find out until Wednesday. My friends like to keep me in the dark even though after I told them I placed the order they said we will talk long before Thanksgiving, yeah right. I think of them way more often than they think of me. I’m bitter about that but I bitch and then try to let go of it. That doesn’t always work well for me.

I hope that your well, warm and safe. Take care of yourselves and thanks for your visit today!

New #

It’s been a long Friday and Saturday for me.  I got very little sleep.  I stuck with my plan and got to see the good looking waiter.  He shook my hand and we talked, I told him about the phone number issue and he said that the 1st digit was wrong.  He gave me a new # and I sent a text to it right away, I wasn’t able to get him to text me from his phone.  Now we get to play the waiting game all over again.  I will go back tomorrow morning and perhaps get to see him again, if he knows my name then I know he got the text.  I’m kind of hoping that he will text me back today at some point.  I checked out the voice mail on the new # he gave me and the mailbox isn’t setup.  The caller id lookup apps that I have give conflicting information.  The first one says a female and the second one says unknown number.  I’ve tried some google search magic but thus far nothing.  I’d really like to know that he’s not stringing me along and that I have my hopes up for nothing. 

Right now all I can do is wait and see.  Patients is not my strong suite but this isn’t something I can rush.  If there is any chance of things working I have to move at a snails pace and that’s just not my speed for anything. 

Happy Saturday.  That’s all of the big news I have at the moment. 

Tomorrow always a day away

Tomorrow by this time if all goes according to my plan, I should have some answers. I hope that it’s all good news. I feel the butterflies starting to creep up on me and I know that tomorrow they will be more profound. I just hope that I am able to actually eat and enjoy my breakfast. When my nerves flair up sometimes it can cause nausea but they have “to go boxes” so it’s not like I will be wasting my money. I think I can keep myself together or so I hope. Still struggling with what actual words I am going to use and yes; I am overthinking everything but that is what happens when I am in situations like this. Never had this type of experience before in my life and there are so many ways this can go. I just hope I am smart enough to pick up on what ever is being put down and that I can have closure and answers tomorrow so this doesn’t have to fester any longer than necessary.

I’ve noticed lately that my Twitter feed has been very short. I guess lots of people have either jumped off of the platform or are purposely not posting. Last night I think I saw maybe 10 posts total and that was it. There was plenty more content in the past and it would scroll for pages and pages. Last night maybe 1 scroll if that. I think it all has to do with the new owner of Twitter. What a mess he is making that platform. I think that if things don’t turn around Twitter will be out of business, kind of like when Trump bought the Taj Mahal Casino and bankrupted it. Who the hell bankrupts a casino? It seems like an impossible task yet it happened.

I saw a good joke last night and got someone with it. Did you hear about the Cheese Factory that exploded in France? Yeah, Da Brie was everywhere. Now that’s funny and it’s a clean joke you can tell to most anyone who knows what Brie is.

Watched the 4-part show on Netflix, Hey Pepsi where’s my Jet? That was interesting and I remember the commercial and also when they amended it. I learned that Pepsi has quite the history of angering people. I was raised on Coke and to this day it’s my preferred drink but I consume the Diet version. Diet Pepsi had a great taste for a while and it was actually better but today Diet Coke is my drink of choice. I’ll drink Diet Pepsi if that is my only option. To switch things up now and then I like to mix in Diet Dr. Pepper. All of these drinks are best when served refrigerated, icy cold!

The funeral arrangements came in for my late co-worker. The funeral is on Sunday. I’m sure the place will be packed but I will not be attending. I am still in shock that he is gone so suddenly but it can happen to any of us. For an older person from what I knew he was the picture of health. He was in his 70’s and still working out so that in and of its self is quite impressive to me.

It’s a fairly quiet Friday which is typical. I’ve got time to take care of some unwanted to do tasks, just need to muster up the gumption. Hey if I get them done great and if not, well there will be plenty of other down time. I am really feeling spent after this week and really don’t have the strong desire to put forth much effort. I would rather go back to bed or do most anything else. As the song says I don’t want to work I just want to bang on the drum all day.

Happy Friday! I hope it’s a good weekend for me and for you too! Stay warm and be well.

Bad News

Yesterday evening I was putting away my items from Amazon and Gator’s food from Chewy. I put my dinner in the microwave to cook and gulped down my pills. I heard a ding from my phone and figured that it was related to the project I was working on that we were starting or something like that. Instead, I found a note from a Local Senior Manager informing us of the death of one of our colleagues. I was devastated and couldn’t help but think why is everyone dying all of a sudden? I wish that people I know would stop dying if only for a few months.

My colleague that passed was a hard-working older gentleman, who would walk to work (he lived across the street from the office) and started his days at around 3a and didn’t usually leave until well after 5p. He kept those hours on weekdays but he would work a couple hours over the weekend, the man just didn’t have it in him to not work. He loved his work so much that his wife had to mandate a yearly vacation for him in the Spring. They would flock to FL with all of their kids and grandkids. That still didn’t stop him from working. I know he loved his family but I honestly think he loved his job even more; it was his passion and what got him out of bed each morning. A few years back he tore his rotator cuff and there were a couple days when he just couldn’t work because he was drugged. He was back in the office working with one arm for a few months. He stopped each day around 11 for lunch, when he would go back home and work out and I think maybe eat something for lunch then it was back to work. I’m fairly certain but don’t know for sure that he was still in the office during the pandemic, despite being all alone. I just heard from him last week asking for help with something. It was an odd ball request but I always accommodated him even if it wasn’t something that was in my prevue. I will miss hearing from him even though it was always work related. We would occasionally bump into each other in the bathroom and in fact I saw him a few weeks ago. He lost a lot of weight during the pandemic and almost looked malnourished to me like he had Cancer but he never said a word to me about it. When I had a serious problem a few years back he helped me with a recommendation of a friend that could help me out. Our office won’t be the same without him. We always joked that he probably would pass away at his desk. I sure hope that didn’t happen and that he was at least at home with family. No one deserves to pass alone but it does happen.

This news was rather upsetting and needless to say wrecked my evening. I kept thinking about him off and on all night and even woke up in the middle of the night because I was upset. My mind/body won’t permit me to sleep much if there is something festering that is bothering me. I don’t like that. Couple that with cries from Gator and there is the perfect recipe for Insomnia.

I worked on my furnace last night. Every year or two my furnace kicks on runs and then acts like it’s going to shut off only to start back up again. Years ago, I put in a service call and got this hunky guy sent to my home. It was a simple fix. The flame sensor needed to be cleaned. He left behind some sandpaper and showed me where the sensor was. It’s far cheaper to clean it than to replace it but still were only talking a few hundred dollars for a replacement. Cleaning it with the sandpaper works and fixes the problem. I figure if I can fix it myself with confidence might as well save a service call and some money. I was cleaning up and almost forgot to flip the safety switch back to on, man it would have been a very cold night. The furnace is getting a bit of a workout right now especially once the sun goes down.

I’ve got a semi-light day with some project work in a few hours, a few meetings in the afternoon. Then more after hours work on this project but today is the last day this week and there will be no work on the project next week due to the holiday. I am looking forward to a break not only from the project but from work in general.

Were getting closer to the weekend and my nerves are fired up. I am anxious and nervous at the same time, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I am eager for closure and this all applies to the waiter that I had asked out. I go back and forth in my mind about not only how this is going to turn out but in what words to use. This is the absolute worst and I can’t imagine being younger, immature and full of hormones but teenagers deal with this all the time. I didn’t have this experience when I was a teenager. I mean I had the hormones and attraction to guys but I didn’t get to talk to anyone about it much other than occasionally it would come up in my therapy sessions.

Here's hoping for a good Thursday and that there will be no more bad news and only good news for quite some time. Stay warm and be well.

The Hangover Effect

I took the OTC Sleep aid with my Prescription Sleep Aid and I really had a deep sleep. I also had some crazy dreams. I was at work at an old job, we rearranged an entire floor it was a massive floor the size of two or three buildings. There were multiple elevators and I kept trying to get to the lobby. I rode I can’t tell you how many elevators and I finally made it to the lobby which is when I woke up. Gator was crying for food. I fed her and then remember getting back in bed and feeling really good, I fell back asleep. I was going into work and in the building, there was a machine that resembled a slot machine it was built into the wall. I remember there was a large bin where money came out. I remember sticking my hand in and looking for coins. I found a ton and also some paper that was folded into neat little tiny squares. I remember opening the pieces of paper and they turned out to be counterfeit currency the front and back of US Currency but you had to glue them together and it was obvious they were fake. I remember going to the bathroom and throwing them away. Then I had problems when I went to wash my hands. The sinks just didn’t put out enough water to fully rinse the soap from my hands. Very strange and then I woke up, time to tackle the day.

Wow that was a crazy sleep cycle. I didn’t feel rested at all and have what I am told is the hangover effect. It’s difficult to keep moving all I really want to do is lay back down and go back to sleep. I am doing my best to stay awake but I don’t know how long I will be able to fight it.

I got a shave and shower before I went to bed. Had Chicken Pot Pie and a Mint Ice Cream Sandwich for supper. My brain was very much focused on the waiter and I was watching a DVR TV show, we got to a commercial break. I had to pause to take care of Gator and my phone needed my attention. When I went back to watch TV, I wound up deleting the show. My DVR doesn’t have any kind of forgiveness when you commit to delete it’s gone forever. Then I had to scramble to find the show on HULU and sit through the commercials but at least I got to watch the show. I couldn’t believe that I actually deleted the show instead of resuming it. I am clearly not thinking straight (kind of humorous wording) but seriously if I would have been focused on what I was doing instead of thinking about the waiter I am sure that would have never happened.

Were at the half way point in the week so I need to make it through today and then two more days. Saturday morning can’t get here fast enough. That is when I will begin my quest for answers and I may have to wait until Sunday but I really want to get this cleared up regardless if it’s a good or bad outcome. It will either be the end which will mean bad news or clarification which would mean good news. I am fairly optimistic that this was some kind of a mix up or misunderstanding but knowing for sure will help me. I’m prepared for most any outcome that’s not to say that if it turns out to go bad that I won’t be hurt or disappointed.

Work today is pretty calm. There is a project that will ramp up a bit later this morning that will take some of my time and efforts. Then a pause for lunch. A meeting this afternoon and then more work after hours for a project. It’s going to be a long day but hopefully the evening will be fully done by 7p or so I hope. Silly project work since were off next week they are trying to cram two weeks’ worth of effort into one week. I hate that but there isn’t much I can do about it. At least next week at this time I will be anxiously awaiting Thursday and focused more on food. I expect the mood to be slow to the point where there is barely a pulse palpable at work, that is typical of a holiday week but I don’t expect things will really slow down until Tuesday. I think Monday will be busy. You never know for sure but past holiday weeks are usually a good gage for how things will go in future weeks. If this was way back to when I started, they would let us go early the day before the holiday but that stopped years ago. Now working from home, I can get that benefit back if I am not needed and no one bothers me.

My Girl Gator seems to be doing okay. Today is the big delivery day for both of us. She gets food and I get my Amazon stuff. Cinnamon Cream of Wheat will be for breakfast tomorrow morning. I love that stuff and wish that I could buy it from a local store instead of having to order it. The price jumped a few dollars just before I placed my order. I had been watching it for weeks. I’ve got my eye on a pen that I have been watching for a little over a year, it varies in price by $200 - $300 but I am thinking that when it next drops if life is good and things are right for me financially, I am going to pounce. Life is short, sometimes too short and I might as well make it happen because it’s not going to come to the door knocking for me. No one in their right mind would buy it for me due to the cost nor do I expect it as a gift. However, if I was famous, I could just start an Amazon Wish List like porn stars and influencers do and people just buy stuff for them just because. That irks me but it’s all about who you are and who you know. At the end of the day if you know how to work the system and it works in your favor and it isn’t illegal or immoral might as well tap it for all it’s worth.

I hope you have a good day, stay warm and be well. Happy Hump Day!!

Old Man Winter

Old Man Winter is here at least for the time being.  Fog, Snow, Rain and some ice in spots.  So glad that I am in the comfort of my home this morning.  However, I took one look outside and knew that I could have easily made it in to work, things didn’t look nearly as bad as they were predicted.  However, I did hear of a few accidents on the morning news, with one of them being fatal.  I’m listening to the scanner and it seems like routine calls this morning nothing extraordinary.  Normally in severe weather events a lot of policy agencies hold officers over so they have to work overtime and it’s usually due to a higher than normal volume of calls, mostly traffic crashes.  That isn’t the case here this morning.  The snow has about an hour left in the area and then it’s history.  It’s cold for the rest of this week.  Kind of makes it feel a little more like the holidays and it does bring me some comfort. 

I slept lousy last night.  With all of the issues of late I did some praying and kind of reached my breaking point where it just all had to come out.  My two major concerns at the moment are Gator and this dating issue.  Gator seems to be doing okay at the moment but I keep thinking about the day when she isn’t here with me.  It’s something I find myself worrying more and more about the older she gets.  As for me I still very much miss my family and really want someone else in my life, I can’t help but think that I will be alone for the rest of my life.  I mean maybe not but right now it just hurts with what I will call a recent minor setback.  I am eager to get clarification on this over the weekend.  I don’t know if I can take rejection but I do value honesty and really don’t want this to turn into a game. 

Work is going to get busy this morning in a bit.  It’s mostly meetings this afternoon and right now I don’t see how I am going to fit in lunch but I will have to stop at some point if only for 10 minutes to wolf something down because my sugar will drop and at that point it becomes more of an emergency and I like to avoid that mostly because I feel horrible for a very long time.  I was shocked on Saturday morning I woke up and checked my sugar before I ate and I was at 77, that is super low for me.  I felt perfectly fine.  The multiple meds I am on for blood sugar control really works wonders and it’s what has brought my sugar down and kept me in compliance.  It’s for sure not my diet because I eat pretty much what I want to. 

Scrolling through my YouTube feed last night I saw a video tour of the Late Aaron Carter’s home that is for sale.  Damn it’s really super nice inside and there is plenty of room for a family to live in comfort.  Sadly I learned in the last few days that he died without a will, which means the state of CA decides who gets what.  His son is #1 in line as next of kin since he wasn’t married.  I can’t believe that someone along the way didn’t bother to tell him to prepare a Last Will & Testament.  Regardless if your rich or poor everyone needs to have a Will.  I don’t have anything and even I have a Will.  At present it leaves everything to my brother since my spouse passed.  I’m not 100% happy with that but there really isn’t anyone else to leave anything to.  I still have a tough time processing the fact that such a young person who seemingly had it all passed at such a young age.  Regardless of the cause, which is still pending to be released.

Checking my email this morning tomorrow is going to be delivery central day here.  All of the shipping carriers minus USPS will be here at some point.  FedEx, UPS and the Amazon Person.  I got a small order placed for Gator with Chewy and it’s got some Chicken in it that she really likes.  I try to keep her and her palate as happy as I can, right now I seem to be keeping up but she can be really picky and turn her nose up at can after can of food. 

Here’s hoping that today is productive and fast moving so that I can get to relaxation time where I can watch some good TV and be with my furry girl.  Hope all is well in your world and that you are safe and warm.  Take care. 

Home this week

I just watched a news conference and public officials are already asking people to stay home tomorrow.  They say if you don’t have to go out, don’t.  If you can work from home, plan for that now.  Looks like I won’t be going in this week at all.  There is some after hours work a couple nights this week that is scheduled and I have a role in that so I don’t really feel any guilt for all of the time I put in and all of the help I give going above & beyond.  I have no plans to go in next week since it’s only a 3 day week.  The week after Thanksgiving I am on-call and I don’t go in on those weeks either, so looks like I won’t be back in the office until December as it stands at the moment.  The whole staying home thing does get to me and I look forward to getting out on the weekends, kind of why I eat out and try to treat myself a little bit.

I was able to talk with a friend about what happened with the waiter.  The advice I was given was wait the week out and go back on the weekend and talk with him then, see what happened.  Unless I get an indication that he’s not interested I plan to ask him to send me a text message so we don’t have to rely on handwriting.  I think that this is probably the best approach and I think I will get some clarity or so I hope.  I pray that my heart can take whatever the end result is.  Even if we wind up meeting up there is no guarantee that we will match but hey I could make a younger friend.  I honestly don’t have a lot of hope for this but I do plan to see how this plays out. 

It’s been an expensive afternoon for me.  I got my holiday bonus and went shopping.  The best purchase I made was a 32TB External Solid State Hard Drive for $199.99.  I’m running out of room for my porn storage and storage in general is always a problem.  This little gem should clear that right up.  I can’t imagine that I will ever fill this up but then again I’ve surprised myself before.  It’s a no name brand drive so I have some doubt but if it passes my initial testing then I’m good.  If not I’ve got a brand name drive on my list that I can always buy.  I’d like to get everything before Thanksgiving so that I can spend that weekend doing all of the moving and organizing of the data.  As it stands at the moment my order is set to arrive on Wednesday.  I could have had this early AM tomorrow but since I had some stuff coming on Wednesday I just configured it so everything arrives on the same day.  I got my Thanksgiving Shirt.  I went with a picture of a black and white cat on a blue shirt.  I think it will be a hit but it’s short sleeves so not exactly sure how well that will work out for me. 

I need to get a Chewy Order together for Gator and I plan to do that just after I post this.  Then I should be done spending money for the time being.  That little holiday bonus has been spent and then some.  As long as me and my girl are well taken care of that is all that really matters to me.  I am kind of scared about her with the events of last night happening and I need to make sure she gets some fluids at least one time a week regardless of how either of us feel.  The rule of thumb is that if an older cat gets dehydrated once it’s going to happen over and over, hence why I have the fluids.  She is eating like she has been on a hunger strike and we had a lunch nap together.  I am looking forward to spending more time with her this evening, which is around the corner. 

Hope you all have a nice evening and that you all stay warm and well.    

Played?

No change in the message.  I ran the caller id through a reverse lookup and it comes back to someone way different than the guy it was intended for.  I called and listened to the voice mail greeting and it sounds nothing like him.  He gave me a bogus number.  It’s either that OR the chicken scratch he wrote down for me is something else entirely.  I am not happy regardless of what went wrong here. 

I’ve thought about a couple different ways to handle this. 

#1 – go back there tonight have dinner and if he is working talk with him.  If not leave a note for him with my number.

#2 – wait until the weekend rolls around again and go back and have breakfast, I’m certain if he isn’t my waiter, I will run into him or could at least chat him up and find out what went wrong.  I could have him send me a text from his phone that would certainly clear things up. 

#3 – just leave it alone.  Go about my life as I have been and forget all about him.  Don’t mention it to him just stick to business which is breakfast.

I am hurt and kind of feel like I was played.  Unless he has a good explanation I kind of think this is a lost cause.  While I am interested, I want honesty and not someone who plays games or lies.     

I suppose until I have my next contact with him, I won’t really know what happened if this was a misunderstanding on my part by reaching out to the wrong number or if he was playing a joke on me by giving me a random phone number.  I remember years ago I worked with a guy and he told me anytime a girl asked for his phone number he would give her a number that started with 911 that was in the early days before we had to dial the area code and phone number.  Regardless which number your given the call would route to 911.  Way to use up emergency resources for a joke, not a good idea at all.  It’s far easier if you’re not interested to express that and move on.  I don’t get why people play games. 

Moving on, I did go out for Mexican food last night and it was pretty good.  It was cold out and I managed to get home before dark.  Also picked up some cat food for my girl.  When I got home, she ate a bit then she tried to go to the bathroom.  There wasn’t enough lubrication in her system so she was straining and had a hell of a time.  That caused some nausea and she threw up what little bit she ate.  I got her in my lap and she passed out for a while to recover.  I let her sleep for an hour.  Then I went to give her fluids and damn if she didn’t move.  She wanted more food so I brought her plate closer and she munched some more.  Eventually she moved to the couch and settled down.  I moved the bag out there and got her hooked up.  She got a full dose and her body just sucked it up like a hoover picking up dust.  There was a bubble for a few minutes and then it was just gone.  She passed back out and then woke up and asked for food.  I brought her the plate and she cleaned it off and went back to sleep.  I moved on with my evening spending about an hour and a half alone.  I got in bed and of course just as I turned the TV off and was about to pass out, she came in crying she needed more food.  I got up and got her a can.  She woke me up again around 4a for more food.  Then I didn’t hear from her.  I wound up waking her up this morning when I got up, she hates that.  However, she was hungry and by the time her food was ready she was on the floor waiting.  She nibbled on it and then settled back on the couch waiting for me to sit and feed her the rest.  I did that and then I saw that hell was breaking loose at work so I opted to get a little bit of an early start. 

I just did some quick research about iMessages and it looks like it’s in my best interest to turn that feature off.  If I am going to use my phone for dating purposes and value anonymity. That way my phone reverts to standard text messages.  There is a minor loss of some features but it’s mostly things I don’t use like group iMessages and Location Sharing.  If someone replies to an iMessage you have sent and it’s off it will come through as a regular text message, so I’m good.  I am kind of surprised that this got me but now I know better so I will do better.  It’s all about learning from your mistakes. 

It’s a light day at work, one meeting at 11 and then unless something pops, I am free.  The rest of the week is fairly busy so hopefully that will help the weekend to come around again soon.  We have snow and rain in the forecast for the morning rush and I honestly don’t know if I want to risk it to make it in.  Kind of depends on how bad things are.  From what I saw from the early prediction this morning it will be similar to driving in the rain but with low temperatures all of that stuff could freeze and then it’s like driving in an ice storm and that my friends is no fun.  I can do it but given the fact I can do my job effectively from home why run the risk.  It’s going to be purely a judgement call on my part but I will go through the motions as if I am planning to go in and then make the call in the morning.  Better safe than sorry there is no job in the world that is worth more than my life and besides that if I drop dead, they will just replace me, it’s not like everything will grind to a halt.  Although given how bad things went when I was out with COVID I’d say that it would be safe to assume there will be plenty of mistakes and things will be pretty fucked up but they will get by.

I can’t help but think about my current situation and just feel so played and I know I am beating a dead horse here but I just don’t get it if your not interested then say so, don’t lead someone on or give them a fake phone number, not cool at all.  I haven’t exactly lost all hope in this guy yet but I am pretty close and unless he’s got some good response I kind of think it’s over before it even got a chance to start.  I don’t pick up on social queues, or hidden messages when it comes to dating.  That could very well be a contributing factor along with my age as to why I am still single.  I got so excited at the possibility that things were finally changing but until it actually happens I’m probably better off from an emotional standpoint of not getting my hopes up, but it’s really difficult not to.  I will say this regardless of how this ultimately turns out.  He’s young and is very good looking.  I don’t know much more than that, hence why I wanted to go grab a bite to eat and chat to get to know if there was any chemistry there.  I’ve never had a second date but had a few first dates.  I do want to meet someone who cares about me but that guy and I haven’t met quite yet.  Hopefully, it happens sooner rather than later. 

Moving on with the day, it won’t be easy but I will have to manage somehow.  Hope things are better in your world!

Confused

I figured out this afternoon that I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was trying to be.  I wanted to use my Visible # to send the message to the waiter.  However, the message went via iMessage and that uses my real cell phone number.  I was not happy about that because the number has my name attached to it but it’s not like I wouldn’t have told him my full name. 

I’ve looked at the iMessage all day long off and on and it just shows a status of Delivered.  I really want it to say read but if he’s like me I have my read receipts turned off on purpose.  I do not plan on chasing him and right now my thought is to just let things be as they are. 

I honestly thought he was genuinely interested in me.  His face lit up when I asked him out.  However, I think this is one of those cases where he said yes but meant no.  Either that or he’s a flake.  The younger generation and I don’t exactly do things the same.  I am fairly certain that since it’s 7p at night he’s not working since he was there at 7a when I was.  You’d think he could take a quick minute to reply.  I get that perhaps he’s nervous but this whole thing is very new to me as well.  He may come around and I could be surprised but given the amount of time that has lapsed I am starting to give up on him.  It’s a major step for anyone to take a chance and ask another person out, getting rejected up front is tough but honestly I could stomach that much better than someone getting my hopes up only to have them dashed in the end. 

I know it’s not over yet but things will be awkward for sure when I go back for a bite to eat and he’s working.  It will be worse if I am sat in his section. 

I’d appreciate your feedback, I realize people may be hesitant to give advice but at the end of the day I’m a grown man and I can make my own decision.  It never hurts to get some guidance or opinions from others. 

Presuming this turns into be a case of he said yes but meant no, it will be the third time this has happened to me.  The first time was a guy at the pet food store.  I saw him on Grindr and reached out.  We had conversations through the app on a regular basis and he strung me a long.  First it was he wanted to concentrate on school because a mid-term was coming up and then we could get together then he said he wanted to concentrate on school.  There always was an excuse until one day I came through his line with cat food and he apologized straight up for stringing me along, he said he knew what he was doing was wrong but just didn’t know how to say no.  I figured out months before the apology came that he wasn’t interested.  This was about a year or two after I lost my spouse so it hurt a bit more. The second time was a waiter at a restaurant, he took my number and never called or texted.  I went back to the restaurant a few times and never got sat in his section but he saw me.  Then one day I went in and asked for him they said he quit the night before and I’ve never seen or heard from him.  It’s been probably five years at least since that happened.  I was over the moon just like I was with the guy today when he said yes. 

I’ve asked two other guys out that both oddly enough worked at restaurants.  One was for sure gay and he had the balls to say no.  The other guy I think was gay but he too declined politely.  It sucks to get a NO answer but honestly I can process that so much better than someone stringing me a long or saying YES when they actually meant NO. 

Life goes on and yeah this will be water under the bridge, my feelings are hurt a bit but I will still monitor the message to see if it ever changes to a read status but at this point if I hear from him great.  I just think if he was as interested as I was lead to believe that he would exert a bit more effort.  Perhaps he doesn’t feel the same and will get back to me in a couple days.  If he responds and wants to get together I will agree to meet up but it kind of depends on how much time passes. This is another reason why I hate texting you can accomplish so much more through a phone call. 

Here’s hoping that this turns out for the best, whatever that means.  I am not holding out as much hope as I did this morning.  While I will go back to get something to eat it’s more to show him that I am not afraid even though it will be awkward for both of us.  I have no plans to chase him, I mean if your interested great but if not then just say so instead of letting your actions communicate that to me.  It does make me think I am not marketable and that I will die alone, perhaps that won’t be the case but this whole waiting thing is getting pretty old and so am I. Thanks for listening and reading, I had to vent and this helped me a little bit.  A good nights rest presuming I can get one will also be of help.  Take care!

On my way?

Hello and welcome, hope that all is well in your world.  A few things have happened since I last posted so here’s the catchup news.

FRIDAY… This was a very stressful, busy and horrible day.  The morning started off with an email on my phone and a machine at work that came into contact with Ransomware.  That shit is no joke and we don’t play with it at all.  It’s an instant power the machine off and get a replacement.  It’s a better safe than sorry approach and it’s served us well.  The files sourced from a client and there were hundreds of files that were sent to us via different methods.  I took a closer look at the alert and then just started my day.  Gave the bad news to the user.  Reached out to my boss who had the day off.  Then this thing snowballed because the user had stored some files on the network in a repository we have and the files got sent on to multiple people.  Long story very short I sounded the alarm; everyone deleted the files they had and at the end of the day this turned out to be a false positive detection.  Which means basically all of my work was for no reason and there really wasn’t anything that could harm/hurt any system.  My boss is the one who figured this out by talking with our vendor.  We had a similar alert a couple days prior and he said what are the odds that we would get another one in a short time.  The first alert was positive but the one I was dealing with was not.  I know the action I took was correct because we have a 0-tolerance policy when it comes to any kind of Ransomware/Virus/Threat.  I know I will be supported by my boss on the action I took.  However, I can’t help but think that it will impact my well-regarded reputation.  I had some minor concerns that it could result in some disciplinary action but the more I think about it I am not horribly worried about it.  This kind of thing happens and you are far better to react and have files deleted and machines wiped rather than to sit back and relax.  I think I would have a greater risk of being in trouble if I had done nothing and this turned out not to be a false positive.  Without giving too much away we have multiple layers to our security protocol and nothing has gotten past it yet.  Not to say it’s impenetrable because no system is 100% perfect but I feel really good about the protection we have in place and it allows all of us to sleep better at night.  I was devastated when I learned it was a false positive.  I had many different issues and being on-call I am the focal point for our team for the week.  It was me and 1 other person that were working.  My colleague didn’t offer any help or support nor did I ask for any.  The events of the day really made me want a drink and a vacation in the worst way. 

SATURDAY… No surprise I was still kind of trapped in a mental hell from the events of Friday.  I woke up to snow fall, it was minor.  My late spouse had a story that snow always brought him comfort.  I kind of took it as a sign that things would be okay but still, I wound up spending the day in isolation with just me and Gator.  I ate junk food for the most part and didn’t really have anything for supper.  There was a nap in the day and it came pretty early and I was quite tired the remainder of the day.  I was just hoping that my phone would remain silent.  One thing came in but it’s not urgent and it can wait until Monday morning, which is when I plan on dealing with it.  Otherwise, work has been quiet thus far. 

SUNDAY… I woke up super early at 5:30a and tried to go back to sleep but it got closer to 6a and I just opted to get up being as quiet as I could which managed to work so I didn’t wake Gator.  I got myself into the bathroom and took one massively long shower.  It was quite nice.  When I was done, I opened the door and she was wide awake waiting for me.  We said our Good Mornings and I got her some food despite the fact I didn’t have a stich of clothes on.  When she is hungry, she wants her food or she gets quite vocal about it.  After feeding her I commenced getting dressed.  It’s quite cold out, Winter is for sure here and there is no sign in sight this week that temperatures are going to warm back up anytime soon.  The note on my phone from the local TV station said more snow and rain are on the way in the week ahead. 

I was of course headed to breakfast and thinking about the waiter and trying to mentally figure out what to do.  As luck would have it, I was super early and got sat in his section.  He was speedy quick to get my order and put it in.  I had made up my mind to ask him out.  The problem I had was what to say and when.  Two lumberjack guys walked in and they got sat next to me.  I knew that I didn’t want to make a move while they were around.  Another couple came in and got sat at the other table by me.  I was about done.  He was taking their order so I made my way to the front of the store and just waited, he was on his way back to the kitchen when I stopped him and asked if he’d like to get a bite to eat sometime.  I was flabbergasted when he said sure.  He asked for the check and wrote down his number (kind of sloppy) and said to text him.  Holy Shit, it felt like I won the lottery.  I wasn’t expecting a yes or to get his phone number.  I texted him right away.  I know that he works the bulk of today so it’s no surprise the message has not been read yet but it has been delivered.  I’ve done all I can do at this point and it’s just waiting for a response.  I’ve gotten a yes before but the guy never did call or text me.  I think that there is a possibility that this could be the same thing but I am on Cloud 9 just waiting for a response. 

Thinking about the situation I don’t know if I sent my info/request to him too soon or if I should have waited.  All I know for sure is that it’s done, he knows I am interested and I’ve done all I can to try to get this to materialize into an actual date.  I am so surprised he said yes and gave me his #.  I think I read the situation spot on given the response.  He’s been on my mind all week long.  Right now, it feels great and there is an extra spring in my step and my mind is going a million miles an hour. 

At the grocery store I almost forgot to get lunch meat.  I was busy looking for my favorite Christmas Cookies but didn’t manage to find them yet.  They have Christmas stuff out but it’s spread all over the store and surprise, surprise since construction is still going on more things got moved.  I will be much happier when I know where everything is going to live at.  I based my shopping on a routine as to where items are stocked and that helps me not forget anything instead of having to scramble to figure out where this or that is. 

I drove straight past the vets when I knew I needed to stop in.  I had to turn around.  Picked up Gator’s medicine.  Then finally home to unload, unwind and unpack.  Did all of that and spent a couple hours with my girl.  She was pretty happy to see me come walking in the door like she was just thinking about me.  I got her some food and then she sacked out in my lap for a nice nap.  I watched another podcast interview with Matt Rife, which was fun. 

I’ve made it downstairs and there is a load of laundry churning away.  I will do some internet surfing and then plan to get dressed and hit up the pet food store.  I also plan to take a trip to get a bite to eat.  My problem is part of me wants Red Lobster and the other part of me wants Mexican food.  They are both in opposite directions of each other but each is a decent drive to charge the battery and let me zone out.  It’s going to be a lupper trip but I want to get it in sooner rather than later since it gets dark pretty early.  I’ve still got about 4 to 5 hours of daylight left.  I can drive in the dark but just don’t enjoy it so I try to avoid it as much as possible. 

The only thing good about tomorrow being Monday is the fact that I will no longer be on-call.  I will still hate Monday like I do every Monday.  This is the last full week before Thanksgiving.  I will be in the office on Tuesday or so that is my tentative plan at the moment.  I have no plans to be in the office on the week of Thanksgiving especially because the week is only 3 days long.  I will be on-call again the week after Thanksgiving so I won’t be back in the office until December.  Time seems to move faster when there is less daylight out and the temperature drops like a rock. 

I honestly hope that this is the fresh start that I needed, this is the right guy and that everything will fall into place as much as it can and I can be happy. I also hope that if things work out with this guy that Gator doesn’t wind up checking out. I need and want her always, there never ever will be a good time for us to part ways. I really want more than anything is happiness, it’s what I have been looking for many years. Not to sound entitled but I think for all of the hell I’ve been through that at the end of the day I more than deserve to be happy. Stay tuned and I will keep you posted on what happens next. Kind of feels like a soap opera but then again life is a soap opera. Have a good day and enjoy what’s left of the weekend. Talk with you all again soon.

 

THE MONTH OF NO

 

There are 2 NO events in the month of November. 

#1 – NO NUT NOVEMBER

According to Wikipedia “No Nut November is an internet challenge revolving around male abstinence from masturbation, sex and ejaculation during the month of November.  It originated in late 2010 and grew in popularity on social media during and after 2017.”

I am sure that there are some guys who can make it the entire month if you elect to undertake this challenge.  I honestly don’t see how it’s possible unless your severely depressed or chemically castrated unless you just have unbelievable will power.  There is so much sexuality in one day regardless of which sex you are attracted to.  I can see a couple days but after that you have to start becoming hypersensitive.  Personally, for me the longest I have gone is a week and that was back when my spouse passed.  I had no desire or drive.  However, after 5 days my body took over and it said we need this.  I really didn’t want to but honestly I felt slightly better afterwards.  If your taking on this challenge best of luck to you!

#2 – NO SHAVE NOVEMBER

According to https://no-shave.org “The Concept The Goal of No-Shave November is to grow awareness by embracing our hair, which many cancer patients lose, and letting it grow wild and free.  Donate the money you typically spend on shaving and grooming to educate about cancer prevention, save lives and those fighting the battle.”

Sadly I think that many people personally know or know of someone that has battled cancer.  The treatment is poison to the human body in order to kill the cancer and the side effects are plenty.  Some folks get lucky and only have mild effects but most and many suffer sever and debilitating side effects.  Many people in my family have had cancer and I’ve seen a wide range of side effects from mild to wild up to and including death.  My late spouse battled and recovered from Colo-Rectal Cancer.  That was my first hand hell and it was very scary.  I don’t know how he made it but he did.  We both thought it would take him out but instead he took it out. 

If you are taking on this challenge I wish you the best of luck.  I don’t know how any guy can let facial hair just grow.  I did it when I had COVID earlier this year and the itch was horrible but I honestly didn’t care about much.  Today I can go about a week and then I have to shave or I will wind up clawing my face to death from all of the scratching.  There is something special about a fresh shave and it gets even better if you know how to do it with a straight razor as nothing gets closer than a razer blade.  Safety razors are by far the most popular and in fact what I use but when I get my hair cut the barber uses a straight razor on my neck and it’s silky smooth afterwards. 

A challenge is a way to break up the hum drum of daily life so long as it’s nothing risky and there is little to no risk of injury.  There has been a litany of challenges birthed on the internet and they have been all over the spectrum from mild to wild.  There is usually a fair risk to most challenges that get trending like the Cinnamon Challenge.  You can die from that.  Regardless of the challenge if your going to take it on, do your research and make sure it’s safe. 

Happy NOvember!  The only challenge I am taking on is seeing how much I can pack away at Thanksgiving Dinner and even that is unhealthy but it’s so good and I do love my food!

SSDD

Howdy folks, hope all is well in your world and life is treating you fairly.  I don’t know what happened to my memory I’ve been meaning to plug my mouse in for a charge before I take a break or head up for the day.  I kept forgetting.  This morning I brought down a battery pack and charged it while I was using it.  Now lets hope I can remember to take the battery pack back upstairs.  I’m usually well focused and little things like this seldom get by me.  Kind of scary but then again it was a very minor thing. 

I’ve also been wanting to fill Gator up with some fluids but she keeps on moving away from the convenient spots and I keep telling myself I will get to it tomorrow.  She seems to be well hydrated and she is still eating pretty well.  I don’t see anything of concern in her behavior.  But my eyes are laser focused on her at all times.  This morning I woke up an hour early because I couldn’t sleep.  I went to find her and she was by her fountain.  I opened a can of food for breakfast and she ate a bit and then quickly retreated to the couch.  She knew I would join her and bring the food.  She ate off and on over the course of an hour from the plate.  She permitted me to get some breakfast and get dressed, then I had to return as she took her final nibbles.  What a cat.  I do something nice for her and it quickly has turned from a favor to a requirement.  I honestly don’t mind but there are times when I simply can’t sit with her and she needs to eat off the floor.  She kind of figures that out but it takes a bit sometimes. 

Last nights entertainment was a podcast on YouTube with Bert Kreischer where he interviewed the gorgeous looking Matt Rife.  Both are standup comedians.  I listened to the whole thing and it was quite interesting.  Sadly Matt is straight but damn he makes me wish I was a woman he looks so good.  Then I watched his Only Fans stand up special that is free on YouTube.  It appears that I watched it before but it was fun to refresh myself and I got to look at him a bit longer.  Go search on Google for a shirtless photo of Matt and you won’t be disappointed I promise. 

Then it was time to get ready for bed and I cuddled with Gator as I thumbed through YouTube and eventually went to my new standby Mike & Molly.  I’ve watched the show before but it’s got some good lines and laughs in it so it’s worth more of my time when I can’t find anything else on to entertain me. 

My colleague that I work close with has decided to take some time off but he failed to make the announcement until last minute tomorrow.  I had stumbled across the fact it was on the calendar over the holiday on Tuesday.  He had promised to take care of something on Friday so I just hit him up and asked him if he was still planning on taking care of it.  That’s when he told me he was taking time off.  I asked him what happened to us, we used to communicate.  He’s clearly changing and becoming more reclusive and not sharing even minor details with me.  I told him that needed to change so we can plan for work.  I mean if you don’t want to tell me something personal I get that but if your taking time off for God sake let me know.  Now I have an extra busy day on Friday.  The good news is that the boss will be out as well so as long as there is no helicopter I should be able to fly smoothly into the weekend and hopefully things will be cool and calm. 

We’ve been doing an internal phishing test and our smart boss loves to hit everyone up over lunch.  It makes it difficult to break away and eat but I have managed.  The man doesn’t think about anyone but himself.  There is a time difference between all of us and what works for him doesn’t work for everyone else.  He plans our meetings during lunch time as well as other events.  I would love to kick him in the balls and tell him to knock it off but that would probably not be a good career move. 

It’s the little things between my colleague and my boss that really frustrate me and if they would both just engage their brains life could be so much easier.  I want to walk away from this job but finding a replacement that will pay just as much as I am making now will prove to be quite the challenge and I honestly don’t want to look for a job.  It’s bad enough that I am looking for a man, doing both would probably drive me to insanity.  I think if I find a man that might help mitigate the frustrations at work and perhaps make life better for me. 

As the saying goes SSDD (Same Stuff Different Day).  I cleaned that up wasn’t that nice of me?  I am super sleepy right now since I woke up early.  I had a sugary breakfast and that has worn off.  I am honestly surprised that it’s coming up to 11a and I am still going.  I am so tempted to head up and lay down but I know if I do that things will get busy and I will just have to return.  I am trying to make it until lunch time.  It’s another unseasonably warm day here and the weather man promised yesterday was the last day like that but here we are again.  It was 90 in my home last night and it’s tough not to turn on the AC.  I don’t like to sleep when it’s overly hot.  However, Friday temperatures will be more on par for this time of year and there is the possibility of snow in the forecast next week but they say it will probably be a mix of mostly rain and very little snow but who actually knows since the weather is wacky and can change.  I am in no hurry for winter but I am tired of a humid home and it takes great restraint on my part not to fire up the AC.  Cooler but not freezing cold would be okay with me. 

Nothing special planned right now for the weekend.  Usual running of errands and plans to eat out.  I am still going back and forth in my mind about the hot waiter at Cracker Barrel.  I really fear that  I will make a fool of myself.  I don’t know his sexuality and can’t get a true read from just appearance alone.  If there is no romantic interest I’d like to at the very least make a friend but no idea how things will turn out.  Kind of depends if I go back for breakfast and what transpires.  It would really help me a great deal if I knew if he was just being friendly and making conversation or if he is really interested but just as nervous as me about broaching the subject.  There are younger guys who like older guys just as there are older guys like me who like younger guys.  I don’t want to make things weird but at the same time I want to know.  What a dilemma. 

Time to publish this and then see if I can continue to stay awake.  Meetings this afternoon are all that is on my plate unless something else comes up.  I am hoping for quiet but not saying that out loud.  Take care and have a great day.