19 October 2014

Risk Taker

Well my on call time is just about over with.  7 am Monday is around the corner.  It’s been busy this weekend.  Yesterday was my big day.  Today seems to be my counterparts big day, network outage.  Lots of calls. 

Thankfully I have had simple stuff and a lot of it I was able to fix on my own, other stuff I had to get help from someone because it’s above what I have rights to do.

Pretty much a normal weekend here.  I was able to get to the cat food store had to run home to deal with an urgent call, then back out to Target and to Sam’s Club.  Money spent just as easy this weekend as any other.  The only thing I couldn’t do was leave the area and I am itching to get out of here.

Today I was able to get breakfast, hit the grocery store and back to Target.  I also got in a nice nap.  It was just a grand old time.

So there is this guy I have had my eye on for a long time at Cracker Barrel.  I went in this morning with a plan.  I got there early, so it wasn’t crowded.  I wrote down my name and number on a piece of paper.  I asked to be seated in his section.  The plan was to ask him if he likes guys, if he said yes then I would have given him the paper and said call me or something like that.  The problem some woman was working his section and I never saw him.  I guess he was off.  Damn!  So I have a couple of choices… 1 I can try again next Sunday or 2 I can try to friend him on Facebook and if he accepts, then I could message him and ask.  My gaydar has a couple blips on it, but honestly unless you are obvious about your sexuality I don’t pick up on it, the whole gaydar with me is broken.  I am not sure of what to do and am waiting for some feedback from either you or another friend before I rush and possibly make a mistake.  I want to communicate and get an answer but I don’t want to scare him away.  The whole thing just has RISK written all over it.

The Gay Dating apps, well they aren’t getting me the results that I want.  I am keeping what I have paid for but when my time is up, my time is up.  I’m not pouring a bunch of money into this, it’s silly but I am not exactly sure how I am supposed to find a partner, considering I don’t go to gay bars.  There is a guy at work but again that has RISK written all over it and my policy is not to get into a relationship with a coworker, it’s just going to end badly and could ruin my job.

I am proud of myself because I didn’t let all of my 2nd guessing give in and I went to eat there and had plans to approach him.  The tricky part would be ask first and risk pissing him off so he spits in my food, tells his co-workers and everyone laughs at me or to ask before I leave.  Either way it’s a risk.  The wind was just let out of my sail when I didn’t get to see him.

At the grocery store I ran into the cashier who thinks I look like Jim Gaffigan, she is only the 2nd person in life to tell me that.  He is white like pail white – I look nothing like him.  Anyway, she said oh how’s your baby?  I said he passed away.  I just knew I would have to have that conversation with her today and kind of dreaded it. 

I have been thinking about my decision and well I do regret it in the fact that there are so many unknowns.  Regardless if it was right or wrong, I have to live with it, there is no bringing him back now.  In fact I should be getting a call tomorrow or very shortly telling me that his cremains are ready to be picked up.  I do want to bring him home, but didn’t plan on doing it like this.  So sad how things went so quickly from good to bad to death.  It’s amazing that life as we know it can change in the fraction of a second.

Speaking of cats, I was able to clean the rug yesterday.  Big Boy I believe had peed again.  It smells horrible, I put down the urine remover.  I am not sure what I can do to break him of this.  I caught him the other night and just picked him up and put him in the litter box.  He finished and hopped out.  He knew I wasn’t happy.  I think he is just seeing how lazy he can be – I mean I rotate his plate, he chirps for food and I am right there, he asks for attention and I give it.  I think it’s all just a test.  I hate it – pee in the litter box and we can continue to exist peacefully.  After all I have been through I think asking for that one little favor shouldn’t be a problem.

I have switched to Air Wick scented oils, they seem to have a much wider selection of fragrances that I like.  I picked up Cinabon Cinnamon and have that plugged in upstairs to help mask the cat pee smell.  I have a Pumpkin & Vanilla in my office, it’s okay but more Vanilla than Pumpkin.  Glade allows you to control the amount of fragrance, Air Wick doesn’t.  Febreeze is also in on the game but I’m happy with what I have.  Air Care like one of the best things ever.

Back to laundry, TV and cracking open a window.  Talk with you peeps later. 

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