Squirt & Suck

Another week has drawn to a close.  This past week was difficult at best.  Mostly because of my back pain.  Today I actually feel pretty good, it’s still sore but most of the discomfort is gone.  I suspect a few more days and all will be back to normal.  Wow this old age stuff really sucks.  Injuries take longer to recover from. 

I did use some muscle relaxers and a narcotic pain reliever, not my favorite thing in the world but damn I needed relief, this was very uncomfortable.   As a result of this a side effect is very colorful and interesting dreams.  The one that stands out the most is I got an idea to write my next book.  It should be all about growing up gay and getting through high school.  I like the idea but I am pondering if I want to actually move forward.  I mean it’s a lot of effort and while I do enjoy helping people, I question if anyone would read what I publish.  It may be different if I knew for a fact that I had an audience. 

Thursday rolled around and a co-worker asked me if I was getting a massage.  I said nay nay, I won’t let her touch me when I am like this.  I am actually debating if I really want to go back to her.  She is aggressive and all about finding the knots and getting them out.  There is little pleasure for me and massages are supposed to be relaxing.  Not the way this lady does it.  Plus think of the money I will save.  I mean I may give in and go back but right now I have hit the pause button. 

My friend buried/planted his wife today.  It was way too far for me to travel and I didn’t go.  I tried to talk myself into it but it was a no go.  He is disappointed but he will get over it.  I mean I went to the most important thing which was the funeral.  I have been there for him and listened to him on the phone.  This was one occasion where I just didn’t want to be around him or her family.  There is way too much drama going on and it’s not healthy for me to hear about it all.  Just because I wasn’t there in person won’t spare me, he will be calling and I will have to listen to him drone on.  But that is what friends do.  He’s listened to me so turn about is fair play.  I just think he is doing everything wrong and moving way too fast.  He is out of control and went off of his meds cold turkey but says he needs something.  For fuck sake call your doctor.  I hope things get better for him and that life slows down a little bit. 

Given my injury this was the perfect time for Netflix to release the next set of episodes of Orange Is The New Black.  Wow I started yesterday and finished up this afternoon.  It’s been non-stop for me.  Very intense.  The funniest thing is when Red says instead of P for Piscatelli I should look under S for Son of a Bitch.  I don’t know why but that line just made me crack up.  There were a couple of other humorous moments but that is the one I liked the best.

The most interesting thing I have done so far this evening is wrestle with the Spot Bot.  I bought a replacement hose because the old one was broken.  Damn I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I had to rip the whole thing apart.  I believe I had guidance from my late partner, because I can take items apart but they never go back together well, let alone actually function.  I had some serious doubts but I managed to actually remove the old hose and install a new hose.  Problem is that when I put everything back together I got a couple of wires backwards.  Squirt and suck didn’t work like they were suppose to.  With trial and error I finally got it working.  Put it back together and have cleaned the basement carpet where the cats have had a puke fest all week long.  Yuk!

Speaking of cats my poor Ruth is bald on the corner of her back.  Something has gotten to her and I can’t seem to shake it.  I had to give her a reprieve last Sunday because of my back injury.  However, this Sunday I will be trimming her claws.  I plan to brush her and put on some flea medicine, but I will have to see what she will allow.  I am going to try my very best.  I don’t want to hurt her.  If this itchy thing doesn’t clear up, I am guessing it will be back to the vet for a steroid shot.  She hasn’t had one of those in a few years but summer seems to be her itch season.  Maybe it’s not a bug but rather an allergy.  It’s been worse in years past with hives.  Thankfully we aren’t to that stage.

Bears is still working me for all of the food he can get out of me.  I put down multiple cans of food and he just cries for more.  I try to stand firm but he knows my weak spot and that I am a sucker so I give in and bitch about it.  He’s had fluids twice this week.  Since he has gone off of his RX food I am worried that he is going to block again.  So far both ends are flowing.  The fluids was to help him bounce back from a nausea attack and to hopefully keep him from dehydrating.  Plus it helps flush out his bladder. 

Marv on the other hand has diarrhea from his IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).  It has grown more and more difficult for me to get him his medicine.  He loves to fight against it.  I feel bad for him and have given him fluids in the past to help.  It buys him a day or two at best.  Then it back to the Hershey Highway.  Plus it smells extra bad.  Taz had a similar issue and I worry that Marv has turned into a Diabetic.  He loves his water and he has really dropped the weight as has his brother Bear. 

The problem when you have multiple animals is that you have multiple worries.  I was telling Marv last night that I would really like to sell this place and move but I can’t do that right now.  I have way too much stuff and way too many cats.  I want to ensure everyone is comfortable and staying put is what makes the most sense, so that is what I will continue to do.  I think for my mental health moving would do wonders, but it would also be hard to walk away from this place.  So many memories (good and bad) and it’s the place that I have known as home for a very long time.

I didn’t get a nap today, I tried but as I predicted as soon as I laid down and got comfy the phone went off.  I started on-call on Wednesday and won’t be done until next Sunday.  It’s a long time but I just think of the money and that helps to keep me going.  I am really anxious for Wednesday because that is when I will be able to see my paycheck.  I know that Uncle Sam will take a good portion away in taxes as per usual but the left overs shouldn’t be too shabby.  I have some anxiety over my finances at the moment but once payday rolls around everything will fall into place, always does. 

My boss keeps telling me to be confident.  Friday I figured out that I am tired of all of the bullshit meetings, interruptions and in ability to make any progress.  I start a 1/2 hour early each day and still can’t seem to make any progress.  I actually was the most productive on Friday from 5p until 6:30p when I walked out of the office.  I feel confident and good about what I was able to accomplish.  Taking on more work amped up my stress level but add in all of other items I mentioned and that is why I am worn out.  Hiring someone may or may not help all of this, there will be lots of training and honestly I have my doubts about how long I will last before enough is too much and I start looking.  I am fighting against that as hard as possible.  I feel safe and secure where I am and I very much like my job and am grateful for the opportunities I have been afforded.  However, no matter what I am very much an army of 1 and no one but me is in charge of my future and happiness. 

I hope all of this work bullshit doesn’t age me too much and that I can keep it together for my own well being as well as all of the comforts I have grown accustom to.  I very much need a vacation but lack of time and money are the reasons why that won’t happen.  I do have 2 days scheduled for next month and I look forward to them.  I know that I am told there is backup in place and that when I am away I shouldn’t worry about the office, but fact is there really isn’t backup in place and shit can easily fall apart and spin out of control if I don’t deal with it regardless if I am in or out of the office.  I am not gloating in the least but I have a lot of responsibility and take my job seriously plus there is the whole dedication thing, so I do what I have to do.  My issues have nothing to do with confidence, I mean I have survived my greatest fear and have dealt with more than my fair of shit.  So I am confident that I will get through this as well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Maybe not right away but over time it does happen. 

Ah so the hour is growing late and my momma is waiting for me to get upstairs.  Plus there is putting out my medicine, another chore I dislike, but I will do it because I have to.  I hope all is well in your world and that life is treating you well.  I know that eventually things will turn around for me it just takes time.  Plus it would be nice if we could speed up the process of me finding a man, this being alone shit is horrible.  I like my freedom and the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone but it would be nice to have a companion for physical and emotional support, plus I wouldn’t be stuck in the house so much.  I guess maybe I should be careful what I wish for but I am interested in all things good that will bring me happiness be it with money, physically and/or emotionally. 

Have a pleasant evening. 

Sweet Mother of Mercy, where are you?

It’s been a painful couple of days.  Whatever I pulled, dislocated or otherwise injured in my back has been driving me crazy.  I have lost two days of work.  Been on some damn good pain medicine and had plenty of sleep.  I also have been on muscle relaxers.  This is why I save leftover medicine, it might be expired but it still works for me.  Beats having to run to the doctor or hospital. 

I have been sitting on the heating pad and that has helped.  Last night I took an Epsom Salt Bath.  First time in the bathtub in a long time.  I quickly remembered why I don’t get in, the tub is too small for me.  I mean I fit but my legs have to be propped up.  It’s not a sideways thing but a length thing.  Expansion on both parts for the tub would be nice but honestly I don’t use the bathtub, I am a shower person.

Got a wake up call and it was the eye doctor, they called this afternoon while I was napping with Gator.  My frames were in.  That’s when I decided it was time to get moving.  So I got up, showered, got dressed and went to check on the frames.  Liked them, got measured and ordered them.  Paid for them as well, that was $250.  I wish I was getting what I truly wanted but since I don’t have any information I have to settle.  There will be plenty of Blue and a little bit of silver.  I’d like some black thrown in but that wasn’t an option.  They are Ray Ban’s and I am anxious to get them on my face for good.  They will have Eyezen Protection which is suppose to be better for looking at a computer all day long. 

As for work, I am going back tomorrow.  Some of my fuck ups emerged yesterday and my boss had to work with one of them.  I got another one today.  It’s all simple stuff but it shows that I am under pressure and that is why I make mistakes.  I am detail oriented and careful but sometimes things slip your mind 

I was able to fix a cardkey from home, so that felt good.  Got a door reader problem and I sent an email but never heard back.  Got a new person starting at a location I haven’t worked with before and I have to work with that buildings management to get her a card.  Working with building management goes two ways – it’s good from the start or it’s shit.  In this case these are both shit, so I have to work them harder to get what I want, which is not any fun for me. 

As for my back it’s feeling a little bit better but it still hurts.  If were at the weekend and there is not much more relief then I will be visiting an emergency room, not what I want to do but I have to listen to my body.  I think I only did minor damage but this is a area of the back where I have already got problems, it’s not something I will fiddle with.  I mean a few days of pain is fine, the intense stuff seems to be over with.  I think the more sedentary that I get the worse it’s going to get.  So I have to move around. 

Now enter the barfing cat.  Ruth isn’t feeling well and she has thrown up all over the basement.  Made me wish I had my spot bot.  Turns out I still have it, but the hose is damaged.  I went looking for a new machine then it hit me, just buy a replacement hose.  I did just that and it will be here on Friday.  $15 that is far better than shelling out $100.  Oh Mr. Spot Bot I have missed you so.  Looking forward to being reunited.  I just fill it full of cleaning solutions and water, place it over the stain, plug in the machine and press a button.  It does the rest of the job for me.  Viola, bye bye stain.  Beats lugging out the big machine for a small job. 

Kind of looking forward to getting back into the swing of things and of course the day I am going back will be my first day of a very long on-call shift.  Starts tomorrow and goes through the 18th.  I can handle it but I would rather not. 

After the eye doctor, I went to Red Lobster.  It was good even if I didn’t have a drink.  Just ate a regular meal.  Made it back home, I was going to stop and get the mail but my body said enough for one day go home.  I listened.  This is the most time I have spent in front of a computer since Sunday. 

Breaks, relaxing, sleeping and doing most anything else is something that I need to introduce into my routine more often.  it really helps.  I also got a message at work from my co-worker who left.  She wants to know how things are going.  Yeah haven’t quite decided if I am going to respond and if I do respond what to say.  It will all come together.  Tomorrow is also my bosses last day in the office for 2 weeks, kind of looking forward to peace and quiet.  A lot less meetings and getting more stuff done with less interruptions. 

Fun.  Now to enjoy what I have left of an evening.  Tosh.O is back on so that will be nice way to cap off the day.  Hope all is going well for you. 

Fucked Up & In pain

Last night was a late night, which caused me to sleep in.  When I woke up I just started rushing because I knew what I wanted to accomplish.  Once I was out the door, I had to stop at the post office.  They delivered some cologne yesterday, it wasn’t at my front door so I figured I would check the PO Box just to be sure and to my amazement it was actually there. 

Then it was on to Cracker Barrel.  Saw Cody the cute twink with the nice ass.  I wore one of my pride shirts and he looked at it.  Don’t know that it made a difference.  I got seated quickly and my food was out fast.  They were packed so I am not exactly sure how this happened.  Last week the manager just gave me priority seating, never mind the wait list you come with me.  Uh, okay you got it. 

Made it to the grocery store, in and out $50 which isn’t bad for the week.  Most of the stuff I needed was for lunch, I got some treats for myself and breakfast food.  Then on to the cat food store, another $50.  Then to top off the tank $6 and what I thought was the final stop the car wash $17.  Got home unpacked and as I was doing so I dropped something, I went for it in a lurch knee-jerk reaction and threw out my lower back.  Fuck it hurts and it’s getting worse instead of better. 

It didn’t help that I cleaned the bathtub, that just aggravated things.  I rested up with some ice.  Watched the first part of Full Metal Jacket where Private Pyle blows his head off.  I love hearing the Drill Sargent, I am a huge fan of the Marines.  I don’t have the physical strength but if I did that is the branch of the service that I would join.  It’s tough mentally and physically.  The mental part is nothing for me, the physical part is where I would just break down and it would probably kill me or close to it.  Like Private Pyle, I love my Jelly Donuts. 

Slept for a bit.  Woke up still in pain.  Started moving to get laundry done, house cleaned, inside of my car cleaned.  Then I worked on a drippy faucet.  Had to go back out and get washers and springs.  It’s a Delta.  Couldn’t find a pipe wrench in this house to save my life.  Used large handled plyers.  I did some minor damage but hey it’s all back together and it works fine.  I was a little worried.  There is nothing wrong with my tub faucet but while I had everything turned off I should have torn it apart and replaced the washers and springs.  The biggest part of this was labor but the parts were $3.  Not bad at all.  Tub faucet will have to wait until it starts leaking. 

Decided that I am keeping the pens.  Logged my transactions and then did some calculations.  I am doing some debt consolidation via a credit card that is offering me 0% for 12 months.  I can save $100 per month by doing this so why not.  Wrote myself a check and deposited it.  I will be sure it’s paid off in 12 months because they charge a hell of an interest rate.  I will lump in my glasses when I buy them, that’s less cash I will have to part with.  A little bit of this is me freaking out.  I think when I get my next check from work I will see that this wasn’t entirely necessary but I would rather be prepared.  I’ve got 2 credit cards that I pay off each month, both of which are larger than normal, so that is the freak out part. 

Had some left over pizza, a shower used some new Shampoo & Conditioner from Paul Mitchel.  It’s called Neon, but it is sugar based.  Smells damn good.  So good that I want to eat it instead of use it on my hair, but I am guessing that wouldn’t fair too well. 

Fed the children.  Bear wants quality time with daddy but I have to pass tonight, my back is killing me and I don’t want to pick him up.  I am going to get some TLC from the massager and then find the heating pad and get it out.  I have already taken a Muscle Relaxer and a Narcotic Pain Killer.  I should be PTFO sooner than I want, but so long as I stay asleep once I am out all should be well in the morning.  If not then I will re-evaluate if I go in or stay home.  I’ve got too much to do to stay home so I would have to be in serious pain.  I can always go in and if it’s too bad leave and come home.  Earlier I was a bit nauseated from the pain, but that has passed. 

I am living a little too large but the rewards are sure nice.  Shame I can’t do thinks like that for myself all the time.  I am really serious about building a nest egg.  Just watch it grow and grow and grow.  A little interest here and a little interest there.  Seems like pennies today but over the long haul it will add up and pay off.  No lottery tickets for me this week. 

I heard back from the lawn guy, he says it’s all my fault because I didn’t tell him sooner.  However, he’s not insisting that I pay.  WTF it’s not my job to police you.  He said that he just discovered the contract was bi-weekly.  Mother fucker, our arrangement has always been bi-weekly.  You must be on crack or your just a dumb fuck, maybe both.  Anyway he says I am on bi-weekly now.  Yeah I guess so, nothing like giving away free service to motivate you to square things up. 

As for work, yes they are going to replace the person that left.  There are interviews going on now.  Hopefully in 2 to 3 weeks they will be making an offer to someone.  They aren’t getting into specifics of duties but they are going to be required to do new hires and departures.  Guess who gets to train them, that would be me.  There is more exhaustion for me.  Great.  I just hope whom ever is chosen that accepts the offer is a person of high caliber who can teach me a thing or two and someone who will stay for the long haul. 

Right now I am going to hit up that massager.  I hope to be able to stay up to take in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.  If not it will be waiting for me tomorrow just like more left over pizza.  Cheers!

The Search Continues

I went for my annual eye exam today.  My search for the glasses that I want, worn by Kennedy a Corbin Fisher porn model continues.  I hate to lose and I am good at finding things and finding people.  However, this is one challenge that is besting me.  I have invested countless hours of looking at web pages full of eye glasses but no exact match.  I reached out to the studio and they were going to try to find out from Kennedy who made his glasses but that proved futile as they never heard from him.  This just pisses me off to no end.  I found what I believe to be a very close match in the Columbia line, however it’s not made anymore.  The local place that used to carry Columbia brand no longer does.  You’d think I was after this guys real name or his address but all I really want to know is who makes your fucking eye glasses.  They look so sexy and I really want a pair of my own.  Knowing his name and address well that would just be a bonus.  This is a thirst that I can’t quench no matter how hard I try.  It’s just tough to concede and put this behind me.  I have something that I like on order, it should be in next Saturday and I have to go look at it and try it on, then we can order it if I want.  It’s going to cost me around $300, that’s with insurance, every coating and option available to man kind in a single vision lens.  The brand of frame is Ray Ban, which will be new to me.  I have always been a Nike fan.  My prescription didn’t change that much and I really don’t need new glasses but I want what I want.  If I get them, there will be extra protection called Eyezen for staring at a computer monitor. 

I got my summer surprise bills in the mail this week.  Homeowner’s insurance stayed the same, which is good.  Taxes went up $300, mine are $3,700.  It is fucking expensive as hell to live where I do.  This is a wealthy town and it’s supposed to be middle to middle upper class.  I feel more like the low class.  My income is good for my age, and this is not my dream home or dream place to live.  However, with the cats and all of the crap from my late partner, where else am I going to go?  So I am kind of stuck here waiting for the cats to die off, for me to get off my ass and get rid of a bunch of useless shit, sell some shit and then I can think about moving.  By the time all of this happens I will be an old man. 

My dream is in California.  There are more gay people there, it’s much more progressive and I think my odds of finding a man would be far greater.  I want to go get my feet wet and go on a vacation to check things out.  The cost of living is much higher but the jobs pay better to accommodate for that.  I need an income translator to figure out how much I would need to make.  This too is a desire that I have been unable to quench.  I mean maybe I go on a trip out there and hate it so the idea vanishes, but I feel that I am doing myself a disservice by sitting still.  It’s all about money and circumstances.  In chatting with that lady last week I think that a move would do me good, it doesn’t have to be cross country.  But if I am going to be bold I want to be fresh and go off into unfamiliar territory.  Make my own way in navigating new surroundings.  It would be much more fun with a partner, but I have adjusted quite well to doing things by myself. 

Given the fact that my job is so stressful, I have been carefree with my money.  I see something or think of something that I want and I just get it.  Part of that is me spending part of my settlement that has yet to arrive.  The other part of it is me rewarding myself because of the stressful circumstances.  I got 2 new Mont Blanc Pens.  Oddly enough they were shipped to me from California.  It’s in the Pix line both are blue.  One is a ball point pen and the other is a rollerball.  That was an easy $389 that I dropped.  Now that they are here I am really only a fan of the rollerball and am contemplating sending the ball point pen back, but I am sure I will manage to talk myself into keeping it.  I really want a Parker 5th Generation but I opted for Mont Blanc instead.  In my book it’s the supreme grand daddy of all writing instruments and it conveys prestige.  It’s my way of looking rich even though I am dirt poor. I got me some new clothes as well so I’ll look better than normal when I go to work for a couple days.  Then it will be back to the same old same old.  

So how was the week?  It actually was pretty stressful.  One day I was so back logged I told my team not to bother me, I was focused on new hires and departures.  Plus I had to plan for an employee change.  I am off into some unchartered waters, it’s fairly simple but when you have more than one of anything to process it’s stressful because there is a deadline looming.  The closer you get to the deadline particularly for a new hire the more people start inquiring about when the account will be ready.  By Thursday I was so ready for a massage.  I wasn’t signed up but decided to sneak off for a quickie.  That turned into an hour long session with me not removing my shirt and leaving my gold necklace on.  Turned out to be a disaster.  I am all knotted up and she kept rubbing up against the chain and there is a skin tag forming.  I am so sore and it hurts.  It’s going to for a while.  Funny thing is I did this as a treat to myself but it turned out to be anything but a treat.  Next time I’ll take off my shirt and jump on the table, it will feel a whole lot better. 

Next week my boss will leave for a two week trip, not until towards the end of the week.  We are launching a big project and it will be up to me and my co-worker to keep things on track and to stay a float while he is gone.  I have some concerns but there is little I can do about it.  So like everything else that I have faced I will confront it head on and just do the best I can.  While I am harder on myself than anyone else, I rest easy knowing that I put forth my best effort.  We all have our limits and I am working right up to the bleeding edge, where burn out is imminent.  I don’t want to burn out but at the same time I can’t just stop.  I am once again trying to be all things to all people.  I realize the only thing everyone can agree on is pizza because it’s delicious and I am not pizza.  The stress with the departure of my former co-worker is felt by all of us.  Even my boss told me that he is stressed out and he wants me to not be that way.  Yeah easy for you to say but look at what I have been tasked with, it’s years of work that she was able to ramp up for slowly over time.  I don’t have years I got it all as soon as she announced her resignation.  My boss hasn’t said a word to me about this but I know he is petrified that I am going to quit.  I’m not near that point yet but I can tell you that it won’t take much to send me over the edge.  Just as long as I don’t have any health problems from this and I don’t suffer from a nervous or psychotic break, I think I can keep this up for a little while longer.  I have stepped up to the plate and picked up in areas where my boss never thought I would.  I want to make a good impression and I seriously want to succeed. 

Furthering my reward I went for pizza this afternoon.  The cute guy waited on me and got me my food.  But his shift ended and I was handed off to someone else.  I had plans to tell him that I liked him, he’s young for me and my research tells me he is taken.  However, he is gay.  I guess the stars and the moon didn’t align just right so that’s why it didn’t happen.  When I left there was an accident and I was stuck in traffic for at least 30 to 45 minutes.  By the time I got to the scene of the crash I was beside myself.  It showed me just how fragile life really is.  It was a sobering wake up call.  There was an extended cab pickup truck the roof was sheered off of it, it went under a semi truck and crashed into a tree.  There was a door in the middle of the interstate.  It looks like another car was involved and it was crushed to bits.  There had to have been at least 1 fatality if not more.  I just couldn’t get the images of what I saw out of my mind.  I prayed for everyone who was involved that they all got to walk away but in my heart I don’t see how that is possible.

Tonight I went to see Baywatch.  It was all about Zac Efron for me.  He is so cute but now that he got ripped I am not so much a fan.  Some muscle is good but you can get too much and that is a turn off for me.  Anyway, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed but the chances of us winding up in the same bed are about the same as me hitting the jackpot on the lottery.  I was carded for the third time in my life.  Apparently I look so youthful that they just had to see my id.  Everyone takes me for being in my 30’s so I have no idea how old the lady behind the counter thought I was but I took it as a compliment.  That is until I had time to think about it and then I was kind of pissed but I let it go.  The movie was good, plenty of laughs.  If your thinking about seeing it, go ahead and treat yourself.  Who can’t use a good laugh?  There are plenty in this movie. 

No post of mine would be complete with out me talking about my bears.  He’s been such a good boy this week.  Defecation is still difficult for him.  I discovered by trial that one dose of the laxative the vet gave me works well for him.  So he will be getting that for a bit.  Not sure if it’s something he can be on long term but if I stop and he has problems, you can rest assured that I will be inquiring.  We have had plenty of time together on the couch.  Belly rubs, hugs and kisses.  He just looks into my eyes and my whole world melts for him.  There really is something special about this cat.  He knows that I care for him and I have saved him more than once.  He appreciates it but he also works me until he tap dances on my very last nerve.  This picky palate of his is driving me nuts.  I am trying to cater to him as best as I can.  I worry that since he is off of his prescription food that he will form crystals and block again.  I sneak in a can of that food and he eats some of it.  I have a whole bag of the dry food that he was just nuts over and he stopped eating it.  I mix it with treats and he got wise to that and picks out the treats and leaves the dry food for his family members to gobble on.  They all love it. 

I rewarded all of the cats with a new water fountain, which they are suspect to drink from.  I got 2 scratching posts, I assembled one of them.  They are always going nuts over the birds.  This thing has 2 bird shaped toys and of course no one will dare go near it.  The flock to the old scratching post, which bit the dust a long time ago. 

Today was all about me and I am behind on my chores but I’ll get what I need to done tomorrow and Monday will roll around quicker than I want it to, then it will be back to beating the same old drum.

Feels refreshing to get all of this out.  Now I have to go face the music because I have been downstairs for a very long time and were way past bed time, so everyone will be fussy.  I keep telling them there is plenty of daddy to go around.  Gator has been sleeping with me, Momma sits on one side of me when Bear is on the other side.  Ruth climbs up in my bed while I am watching TV and then along comes Marv and there goes Ruth.  They all have their moments with me.  Ruth however will not be happy tomorrow because it’s claw trimming day, she scratched me earlier in the week so I know for a fact those nails are sharp. 

Well off to bed then to wake and tackle grocery shopping and then cat food shopping.  Then I am done and can spend the rest of the day at home instead of running around.  That will sure be nice. 

My lawn guy sent me an invoice last night, apparently he’s cut my lawn every week in May.  Problem is we have a contract that authorizes him to cut it bi-weekly.  He wanted the contract, not me.  However, in this case it works to my advantage.  I threw it in his face and told him he will have to eat the additional charges, I am not paying for his service every week because it wasn’t authorized.  I will pay what was authorized.  I have had more problems with this guy than I ever did with Lawn Boy.  I kind of miss him, it was a simpler time.  However, he fucked up.  So has the new guy.  I may be looking for a new lawn person again soon, which I really don’t want to do.  This wasn’t my mistake it was his.  I mean if you want to cut it every week come on by and do that, I sure appreciate it.  However, I am not paying for it.  I thought I would have this battle back in April when he did the same thing but nope, he just sent me a normal bill.  It will be interesting to see how this plays out, but the contract legally insulates me so while I could be nice and send him all of the money, legally I am not obligated to do so. 

Have a great rest of the weekend, enjoy the week ahead and hopefully I will be able to do the same. 

Talk Therapy

Yesterday at my friends BBQ, I met a lady who was in her 70’s.  She said that her husband had been dead 9 years.  That was my queue to ask questions.  We talked for a while, but what I took away was, it’s time to live your life.  Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about the world or anything else.  You are all you have and you are responsible for your happiness.  She’s been on vacations all around the world all alone.  She doesn’t want another man and it sounds like she is quite well off.

I got to yammer on about my life story and she was all too kind to sit back and take it in.  Why can’t I find a man who is so accommodating and younger or maybe a year older than me?  Women seem to be my best friends, I guess it’s my girly side that relates to them.

I got home late, the kids were not happy.  They got a late supper and I got a phone call from my friend who lost his wife.  Turns out he found out why her first marriage ended it’s because she was having an affair.  It didn’t happen 1 time, there were 3 different time periods.  I would have never taken her for a cheater.  Now he’s heart broken and thinks that she was screwing around on him.  He tries not to think the worst but it’s only natural that his mind wonders.  I listened to him and accommodated him but what I really wanted to say was, she is dead does it really matter?  It’s done, it’s over and it’s time to move on.  Yes I know that the wound is still fresh but damn, he’s all over the chart.  He stopped his anti-depressant without seeking medical advice.  He knows he is out of control but he doesn’t want the sexual side effects.  Hello, go back to the doctor and ask for something else.  That’s far too simple he wants a homeopathic remedy.  Yes I am not kidding.  He needs prescription medication, I know all about side effects but you have to decide if you want to be able to orgasm or if you want to be happy.  I mean I was lucky enough to be able to do both with the combo I am on, but that doesn’t mean it will work for him.  I’d frankly like off of my meds but I am too afraid to see what life would be like without the pills. 

Today I was able to sleep in, stay home all day and the farthest that I went it to the garage.  I watched a movie with the kids.  Took a nap with the kids.  We had lunch and I cleaned the house.  Laundry is all done.  My lunch is ready for tomorrow (too bad I am not ready for tomorrow) and it’s been a nice relaxing, low key kind of a day.  I went shopping on Amazon and spend money from my settlement that I have yet to get.  I put it all on a credit card that there are no interest charges until September.  I should have the money by then and can pay it off.  I really racked up quite the bill.  Most of the stuff is for me but the cats get a couple of scratching posts and a new water fountain out of it, so it’s like Christmas came early.  There are other things that I want, but do not need.  Right now I think I am done with large purchases.  I am adamant about saving a decent amount of the money.  Rainy days come all too often and usually when your ill prepared. 

Speaking of spending money I go for my eye exam on Saturday.  I am going to try to find new glasses to match that of a porn star that I was searching so hard for last year.  I am going to a different provider for the glasses but to my regular place for the eye exam.  I confirmed with my insurance that it won’t be a problem.  I will wind up with a bill of a few hundred dollars if I am successful but it will be worth it to me if I can get what I want.  I have to gather photos of the frames and edit them so that you don’t see his whole body or the sexual act he is in.  I’ll be doing that after I am done here and then it will be time to go shave and shower.  Relax a bit before bedtime and then finally off to slumber land. 

I had the best dream last night I was reunited with Taz, we had a great time together.  I was really talking a lot about him yesterday and I suspect that is why I had the dream. 

Went out on the edge yesterday and got a couple lottery tickets.  Who knows maybe my numbers will come up.  I don’t need the grand prize but winning a nice chunk of change would be nice.  Enough to retire early would be grand but hell if I could be 100% debt free that would be nice!  I am sure if I was loaded it wouldn’t take long to find a guy who would be interested in me.  Granted it would be for all the wrong reasons. 

So having an extra day in the weekend was sure nice.  Now it’s back to the land of bedlam.  I did have to work some with being on-call but that will look very handsome on my check next month.  This month’s check that comes in a few days should be nice as well.  I should have the details tomorrow morning. 

No question about it, back to work will be back to the land of stress.  It’s going to be another jumping week but thankfully it’s only 4 days. 

Here’s hoping that the week ahead will be great for all of us!

Rough Week

Said goodbye to my co-worker that left.  That was Thursday.  Friday was a whole new day.  This week has been intense with more cramming for all of my new duties and assignments.  Plus sitting through what I call bullshit meetings.  No boss until Wednesday.  Monday is a holiday so at least next week will only be 4 days.  I already have logged 7 hours of overtime.  While the pressure and intensity of my job is increasing my paycheck should be doing the same thing.  Plus were getting close to pay raise time.  Very interested to see what I am going to get for a raise, I expect the standard 3% plus a bonus.  Waiting to see what reality brings. 

Had my Saturday car appointment.  This went way better than what I thought it would.  The service guy was hot, but was wearing a wedding ring (isn’t that always the case with a good looking guy?).  They got me in and out in about 30 minutes.  I got to sit and watch TV.  I learned all about Butterflies and not the kind that are in your stomach.  So it was educational as well.  I can see myself switching dealerships, it’s further away but it’s more modern and they have more vehicles and more staff.  Not committed to them yet.  Saturdays they only have lube techs working so it’s all oil changes and simple stuff.  Nothing mechanical.  Good to know.  One less thing to suck up my time off.  The owner’s manual says I can go 7,500 but all of the service people I have talked to present and new dealer say 5,000 is a good mark.  The oil change reminder in the car is set for 7,500 so I might run that just to see the alert.  It’s never popped up because I am always early when it comes to an oil change.  I’ll even do it 1,000 miles early if I can.  That strategy has paid off well for me and seems to keep my vehicles in top shape.  They mentioned that my battery was a little low and that I should put it on a trickle charger overnight to build it back up.  That shouldn’t be with a new car.  I think that there is a problem ahead in my future.  Battery, Alternator or Voltage Regulator.  It has to be one of the 3 if not all of them.  I charged it up a little bit this afternoon, but I am not comfortable leaving a charger running overnight. 

Yesterday on my way into work there was a pickup truck pulling a huge trailer.  They signaled for a lane change.  I gave them room, they kept on going so I went to take back the space and damned if they didn’t change lanes.  It a miracle that there wasn’t an accident.  I broke the cardinal rule of driving and I didn’t know my surroundings, which you should know at all times.  I just hit the horn, tapped the brakes and hoped for the best.  Thankfully it all worked out.  I was quite shaken up after that.  I figured that was an omen for how the day was going to go.  It was a rocky day but thankfully nothing bad happened. 

The cats are all going strong.  Marvin keeps crapping in my room.  He’s got diahrea and wants to let me know that something is wrong with him.  I give him medicine but he doesn’t want to take it so we have to fight.  Sometimes he wins and other times I win.  He is getting some fluids this weekend and hopefully he will be back on the straight and narrow.  DaBears is doing his thing and I am playing along.  He nibbles here and there but he is eating.  He’s got the right stuff coming out of him and I have switched up his medicine to help him out.  He craps in stages.  It a little now, rest wait and maybe an hour later a little more.  It comes out, I guess it’s just old age.  All of the cats have a lot of life left in them.  I still try to spend as much time with each of them as I can so that I will have positive memories to look back on.  Plus they help me, I see the world differently when I think about things from their perspective and my work troubles seem to vanish, until I snap back to reality. 

Got invited today to a BBQ tomorrow at my friends house.  I am getting ready to make our reservations for Turkey day.  It’s months away but it will be here in no time.  I stepped out and fetched some Diet Dr. Pepper so we won’t be thirsty.  $6 for 24 cans at Sam’s.  Not a bad price.  Paid more for the same thing last week at the grocery store. 

Today for the first time in a very long time I didn’t go out for any meals.  I am going out for breakfast tomorrow.  Then on to get people and cat food.  Then home until it’s time to leave for the BBQ.  There is so much to do around here but I am emotionally, spiritually and physically drained from the past week.  Lounging is all I have the energy for.  However, there are some essential things that I will do so that things flow smoothly for the week ahead. 

Baywatch the movie is out.  Zack Effron is in it and I have been thirsty waiting to see it.  I could chance things and go now but being on-call as soon as things got good I would get a call and have to leave.  I don’t want to take any chances so I am waiting until next weekend to go see it.  Also have my eye exam next weekend.  The weeks are busy and it seems the weekend is just as busy.  This will be my last Saturday appointment for a while.  July will bring me 2 days of PTO so that I can go back to see my doctor for a checkup. 

So there you have it my crazy week.  I do feel overwhelmed but at the same time I feel some pride in knowing that I have more power and I am more important.  Just not important enough to get an office, but I am working on that. I splurged and got myself 2 new Bluetooth Headsets.  These weren’t cheap.  One is for my personal use and the other is for my personal use at work.  I spend a fair amount of time on the phone, my employer provides this equipment to certain staff members but with my new job I no longer qualify.  My boss has asked but they can’t seem to scrape up $100 to get the deal done, so I did it for them.  Cheap fuckers.  Make you employees comfortable and they will do a much better job.  I have my eyes open to the the outside world and what positions are lying in wait, I haven’t applied for anything just looking for now.  If things get to be too much I’ll pull the trigger and go looking but I really want to stay put, I like where I work, I like most of the work I do, but I can’t keep doing the work of 3 people forever.  Eventually I will snap and I think that is true for any single person.  I mean look they already lost one person, that should tell them something.  Plus I can assure you that she was quite vocal about different issues in her exit interview.  I hope that will breed positive changes to come.

I hope all is sunshine, rainbows and kittens in your world.  I am sure that you like me have your struggles.  For all I know your problems are worse than mine.  I have just been on what seems like the rollercoaster ride from hell and I am looking for that to stop and for good things to happen.  Here’s to making it through another week and for the patience and energy to make it through the week ahead for you and for me.  Take care and be safe!

The week ahead

One thing I know for sure, the week ahead is going to be a difficult one.  My co-worker’s last day is on Thursday.  Friday will be easy but the days ahead after that will be quite the challenge.  I am going to try to get every nugget of knowledge out of her before she walks out the door.  Once she walks out the door I have no plans for keeping in touch, she of course doesn’t know that.  I never promised her anything but she is encouraging me to stay in touch. 

Friday was a bit of a mess.  I called a meeting between my co-worker and my boss, just trying to get some clarity about the new hire and departure process.  A lot more of the work that she did is coming my way.  These are things that she just managed to work in over the years.  It took her a few years to ramp up, but I get no time at all.  She had serious concerns about that and vocalized them that caused an argument between her and my boss to erupt.  So the call ended pretty quickly.  He doesn’t get that I am going to be overwhelmed and likely burnt out quick.  I have voiced my concerns but the only thing I hear back is to be confident.  Yeah I am confident in that this is way too much to put on one person.  All I can do is try and if I make it great and if I fail well I tried to tell them. 

Next week I will be on-call.  I hope that it’s quiet after hours.  Saturday I am going to a new car dealer for an oil change.  I booked the appointment last night on-line.  Kind of neat, no talking with a human, being put on hold or transferred.  I like it!  I’ll be taking my laptop with me just in case something comes up but my hope is that it’s all quiet.  It will be a holiday weekend and that means that no one will want to work on Friday, that includes me.  My boss is smart and taking the day off, kind of wish I would have thought of that. 

I am all too eager to get my settlement money.  I have been making a mental list of things I would like.  Of course I have gone overboard but once I started putting things down on paper I woke up really quick.  I can get a bunch of things that will make me happy in the short term or I can save my money and build a nest egg.  I’m doing both.  There are of course more pens that I want, I need none of them but hey it’s my money.  I want to get a new water fountain for the kids and a couple of scratching posts, they are long over due for these.  I love wedding cake cookies so I will be buying some of them.  There are a couple of bottles of cologne that I want as well.  I’ve thought about upgrading my radar detector by getting a new model.  The actual upgrade is $100 less but it would mean I would be without a detector.  The way I drive I can’t afford that.  I like to know when the law is lurking around the corner.  That little machine has saved me more than once.  Of course there is new technology out and my unit doesn’t pick up all of the new stuff.  Plus they like to use Laser.  There is no defense against that, once that beam hits your car you are done.  There is no advanced warning for that.  So I want to start buying but better to wait until I have the money in hand.  I know for a fact it’s coming but it’s just a smarter move.

Today I reached out to an old boss of mine that I have a huge crush on.  Just asked for some dating advice.  What I got back what pretty much you have to take a chance, it’s a risk and it may result in a reward or it may result in getting hurt.  You don’t know until you try.  Great, so nothing I didn’t know already.  He got a divorce and is already seeing someone.  Why is it that my straight friends have no problems finding someone, but me it’s the most difficult task on planet earth? 

My Big Boy is back to normal for the most part.  I still worry about him and I call him Oscar that lives under the couch.  He isn’t too hip to that.  But he loves to hide and sleep.  I will be going up in a bit and I will have him sitting next to me while we enjoy some TV, not sure what I will watch because there isn’t a damn thing good on.  I owe him some of my time, he’s been neglected and I don’t want him to think that I stopped loving him because that is not the case.  There is only one of me but there are 5 cats and I have to spread myself amongst them, having a job and taking care of the house, plus finding time for me – yeah it’s a really challenge but somehow I manage.  Marv has diarrhea and he keeps crapping in my room, I am ready to hurt him.  I started him on medicine for it and hopefully things will calm down.  He isn’t too him to the medicine.  Gator and Momma are fine.  Ruth well something is still chewing on her.  I’ll be trimming her claws soon and it will be time for more flea medicine.  I’ve tried all I know but something really has a hold on her.  I don’t like it at all. 

Went for pizza yesterday.  Saw the cute guy, had some flourless chocolate cake.  It was really rich and something that I didn’t need.  I enjoyed the drive to get away, it’s shorter than going for pie.  Just a half hour away and it’s all interstate, so worth it.  Plus my car likes it too.  I am rocking 39 miles to the gallon – seems like the more I drive the better the MPG.  It’s peppier and were getting along just fine.  I washed it today and it really sparkles.  Then I came home and heard that it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.  Of course it is, that’s my luck. 

Need to backup the iPhone and sync it up with iTunes.  I am upgrading my laptop to the Creators Edition of Windows 10.  I need it next week so better that it’s patched and up to date.  There are some other tweaks I want to make to it, but not sure that time will permit that tonight.  I have to have my Bear time, that is an absolute because I promised it to him.

I hope that all is well in your world.  Leave me a comment and tell me how it’s going.  I’ll be back with another update as soon as time permits.  Work is really keeping me busy.  Oh almost forgot I passed my dental check up with flying colors.  Going back in 6 months when it’s closer to Turkey Time.  Which means I need to make reservations for Thanksgiving because it will be here before you know it. 

Take care and be well.  Talk with you all again soon.

Extremes

Da Bears has gone from one extreme to another.  Monday night I gave him an enema, I only wanted to give him 1/2 of it but wound up giving the whole thing.  Poor kitty that just ruined both of our nights.  He went and he went and he went and … you get the point.  It was very strenuous on him and his heart.  He was passing blood he was straining so hard.  I felt horrible.  We wiped out a 1/2 of a box of pee pads over this.  Plus he vomited multiple times, no point in giving him medicine if heis gong to throw it back up.  So I let his stomach settle.  I really thought he was going to have a heart attack.  Tuesday night he had diarrhea and I noticed that promptly when I came home from work.  So he was in need of a bath.  No more straining he just goes now.  This morning I woke up and he had gone again so tonight will be another bath night.  He will have the cleanest bottom in the entire neighborhood, for a cat that is. 

He is eating but it’s in spurts and he still does his trick to weasel different flavors of food out of me.  I am not happy about it but I would rather give my money to the pet food store than the vet.  If it was up to me I would just as soon hang on to my money because rainy days are frequent, especially when your a homeowner and a single pet parent.  I’ve watched all day long on the camera but no sign of Bear who I now refer to as Oscar because he lives under the couch .. get it Oscar the Grouch from Seasame Street.  

I did manage to get in some time with Bears last night where all we did was lounge on the couch.  He enjoyed himself and that was the purpose of that.  He’s been through quite the ordeal.  I am not sure what was lodged in him but it’s out for certain now.  I don’t ever want to give him another enema again.  I have worried a lot about him and each time I think he’s over the hump something comes up.  I want to be done with this and have my cat back. 

On to other news, my car issue has been settled.  I signed an agreement today and in who knows how many weeks the check will be rolling in.  Best news here is that while it caused me to jump through some hoops, all of my hard work paid off and I am being rewarded.  Plus I don’t have to share the money with anyone.  That is the best part of this. 

Work is another story in and of it’s self.  More duties and tasks being sent my way because of my departing colleague.  I am so in over my head but I am going to do the best I can with it and hope that I don’t miss anything.  There is quite a bit to take in and run with.  I just want to be done with all of the damn meetings about knowledge transfer, they take up so much time and are not that productive.  I have plenty to work on and there has barley been time to use the bathroom or grab a bite to eat.  Good news is that my paycheck will look quite nice when I get it.  Bad news is that it will all go to creditors. 

Well I had to take a break and wanted to let you all know I am still kicking.  Hard to believe it’s Wednesday.  I am anxious for sleep and down time.  Not looking forward to bathing Bears but I know he needs it and will appreciate it once were done.  Hope all is well in your world.

Finally Did It

This has been the week from hell.  I am glad that it’s over but I wonder if this is going to be a common theme or if this is just a short theme for the next few weeks.  It’s extra stressful and I am on fire, awake and in the moment amped up all day long.  I walk into the house and I am ready to drop.  The days and nights go by so fast.  I don’t want to wake up when the alarm goes off it’s far too early.  I don’t want to go back to stress but yet I do because it’s how I make my money.  I have so much to digest and get my arms around that it’s unfathomable.  My departing co-worker did the job of 3 people and they are taking most of her work and transferring it to me.  She had time to ramp up, it was a slow progression and not like me where they are going to say okay giddy up boy.  I have no time to ramp up I have to hit the ground running and hope the hell I know what I am doing.  She remembered to do all of these various tasks it was like second nature to her but for me it will be anything but second nature.  I am only one person and can only do so much.  I mean even a toilet can only serve one asshole at a time.  So we shall see what happens.  It’s sink, swim or float.  I can tell you that along the way something is going to fall through the cracks, at least that is the way it feels. 

Yesterday I went in for a few hours.  I timed my visit with dinner and was meeting a friend.  I managed to finally rearrange my desk.  I found out the hard way that I couldn’t move the file cabinets due to height restrictions in my cube.  That sucked but I know where everything is at, it’s just not in the spot I want it to be.  I am not 100% committed to the new arrangement but I am going to try it and see how it works.  If I don’t like it I can always change back.  I also had time to finish all of my new hires so that helped out a bunch.  There were other things that I wanted to organize but ran out of time, as I figured would happen.  I am always time and money poor. 

Went to Maggiano’s and met my friend.  Saw a couple guys there that I would love if they sat on my face.  I’m just saying they were good looking.  My friend bought a new car.  He went to leave the dealership and they couldn’t find his keys.  Huh?  Yeah I am not kidding you, so they put him in a loaner vehicle so he could get to dinner.  They will square up on Monday.  I sure hope they find the keys.  That’s messed up, sounds like an omen to me.  Then again I am reading into it.  Anyway this is the same guy who lost his wife earlier this year.  He shows me a photo of a woman and asks me how old I think she is.  I said maybe 65.  That’s when the story began.  His step daughter set him up, they talked by phone and it sounded like a good fit.  So they went out right away, then back to her place and of course things got hot and heavy.  They screwed their brains out.  Okay so I guess he got it out of his system.  He saw her again and they went at it again.  Then she tells him that she has something to tell him, he’s not going to want to see her after she mentions it.  I’m figuring she is about to tell him she’s got crabs or something like that.  Nope she drops this huge fucking bomb out of no where and tells him that she is 80 years old.  She doesn’t look it by the photo I saw and he’s seen her with her clothes off and said that she has the body of a much younger woman.  Of course they got into an argument.  He was up front and honest with her but when he asked her how old she was before all of this she said a few years older than you.  He’s 62 come on a few years, more like way older than him.  He was hurt and they did part ways. 

I was really surprised that he actually had sex with a woman, his wife has only been gone for 4 months.  He is moving way too fast, just my opinion.  I think he is going to crash and burn.  It’s been 4 years for me and I have yet to have sex, let alone find a friend.  Perhaps were both doing it wrong but I’d like to think I have the saner approach.  It’s lonely, frustrating and very depressing.  However, I’m still standing.  There are days that I think I am going to crash and burn.  So who knows. 

On the Bear front.  He’s going to the bathroom on his own but it takes days on end.  It’s not right but he seems no worse for the wear.  He knows that I am worried about him and that I care about what happens.  I think he is scared but like every other challenge in his life he is facing this head on and trying his very best to make it through another hurdle.  I won’t let him go past 2 days, if we get to that point then it’s enema time.  I’ve threatened him last week but he’s always made it before the deadline.  Now that were in the weekend, there has been no movement so I am worried.  I saw him urinating this morning.  I got a sample the PH is okay but it was just dribbling out, sort of like he is trying to block.  I fed him more prescription food so hopefully that will clear things up.  I need him to be flowing steady and smooth each and every day.  Not sure what is going on with his body but I am certain that if I dug I could find a root cause.  The bigger question is would it be worth the money and would it just hasten the inevitable?  I think so, which is why were not doing that.  I am enjoying the time that we have together and I make sure to tell him everyday that I love him, I do that with all of them.  You never know when one of us is going to check out.  While I don’t want to experience death times 5 I realize that it’s a real and probable possibility.  While it’s temping to check out early I am sticking around solely to fulfill my obligation to them, no one and I mean no one can take the very best care of them the way I would.  This is another duty that I was entrusted with and I plan on fulfilling it.  Once it’s done I may move or hell I may just call it quits and check out. 

I think that it would be great to sell this place, take a bunch of money and relocate to a new part of the world, start life over as stressful and complicated as it would be, it might be the very best thing for me.  I think my odds of meeting my next guy would increase and that it would be more likely to happen.  Right now given what is going on at work I am thankful that I haven’t found someone, because I wouldn’t be able to show them the proper attention they deserve.  I barley have time for the cats and myself.  I know this all too shall pass, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and so the sayings go. 

I am ramped up for the week ahead.  Went out and got some stress vitamins, so hopefully they help.  Had my massage last week and my back is a train wreck, no surprise.  It’s where all of my tension goes.  Try as I might I just can’t get rid of it on my own, but wish I could. 

Tomorrow is payday but the money hit the bank early so I have paid my bills.  I have $100 to live on for two more weeks and then we get to do it all over again.  I could have more in the bank and be deeper in debt but I pride myself on paying my credit cards off each month, regardless of the balance.  That is the only way to use a credit card.  Get all of the reward dollars or incentives they offer but never, ever give them one penny in interest.  I sleep better at night knowing that my cards are paid off.  Of course there is still a house and car to pay for but those are two items and expenses that will always be present for the foreseeable future. 

As for the car, I am still working on trying to get a settlement for all of the shit I have been through.  I may have to file suit on my own in order to get the manufactures attention.  They seem receptive to settle this but yet their actions are confusing at best.  If I am successful in getting a settlement, my plans are to bank the bulk of the money.  I will of course spend some on myself and get useless things that I really don’t need but want.  However, at the end of the day I need more money in the bank because if a disaster strikes right now I am fucked and not in a good way.  Let’s just hope evil and disaster stay away from me for a very long time. 

Having pizza for dinner, typical Sunday meal for me.  I have Maggiano's Lasagna for Monday.  I could have it now but sounds more like a better meal to come home to after a hard days work.  I am sure Monday will have it’s own unique challenges for me. 

I leave you with this.  As I travel to and from work each and every day I see someone who has managed to run out of gas.  Stranded on the side of the road.  I keep asking myself, how in the world can you run out of gas?  I mean there is a gauge in the car, it might not bee 100% on the money but it’s a good indication of when it’s time to pull into a gas station.  As I went into work my low fuel light came on.  I was conscious of the fact I was low on fuel long before the light came on.  When it does come on I have 50 miles before the car is empty.  I ran it to 30 miles and then called it quits and filled up.  I guess if your looking to empty out your tank and go a little too far overboard that is how you run out of gas.  It’s the only explanation outside of I just get in and drive until it decides to stop. 

Here’s to what I hope is a great week ahead for all of us.  May there be more laughter than sorrow or stress.  May the days be short and the nights long  May the sunshine brightly and may we all get the rest that we need.  Can I get an Amen?   

Is it the weekend yet?

This week has been by far the most stressful week I have seen in a very long time.  It’s been 100mph all day Monday and Tuesday.  Tuesday night I started catching the wrath for moving so fast.  No secret when you work fast, even if you know what your doing, you are more apt to make a mistake.  It didn’t help that I had constant interruption and had to shift focus.  I am not sweating any of it, I gave it my best shot but I am only 1 person.  Today I vowed that I will move slower and thus things will be more accurate.

I did get a letter from the auto manufacture and they expressed interest in settling.  However, they directed me to a call center and no one there knew a damn thing.  I finally got the true and correct information on how to contact General Counsel and have reached out to them.  I will be calling again tomorrow to see if I can’t get transferred there or at least get a telephone number.  Going through the first line of support no matter what the issue, is always difficult they have instructions and scripts to follow.  I get it but I am eager to put this behind me.

Speaking of behind, that leads me to Big Boy.  The laxative the vet gave stressed him out but it works.  I have stopped just to see if his body will adjust and pick up.  I don’t want to get him hooked on medicine and need it just to go to the bathroom.  Of course he hasn’t gone since I stopped, but I am hopeful that I will come home to presents.  He is back to being picky on eating again, when the med was working he was less picky.  He’s got me concerned and I am scared that I am going to lose him.  I keep telling him not to die on me, what I used to say to my now late partner.  I will never be ready to part ways with my Big Boy but if I can get a couple more years out of him that will be happiness in and of it’s self. 

Momma and Marv slept with me last night.  Someone went to the bathroom on the floor and I stepped in it in the middle of the night.  I thought it was food or puke but nope, neither of those.  Still stepping in something in the middle of the night will bring you wide awake and quick.  I was not very happy.  When I went back to bed I slept alone despite the desperate plea from Marvin. 

Got my massager last night and it’s pretty good.  Nothing like two hands but it’s pretty close.  I will be using it again tonight.  The Lawn guy stopped by yesterday and trimmed the bushes.  They did a horrible job and I am paying way too much.  At least it’s done so that should keep complaints from piling up at my door.  It’s bad enough that the home owners association dues are at the end of the month, we or I have never paid and don’t plan on starting now.  They always threaten to put a lien on the house, yeah you do that.  The chances of me moving are slim to none, at least while all of the animals are alive.  Once they go then I may make the mad dash but it’s doubtful. 

Lunch came early today, now it’s about over and time to run to another fun meeting.  Were planning for how we are going to get by with a staff reduction.  It’s a complete shit show but I will do the best I can, if that isn’t good enough well so sorry.

I was thinking this morning how ready I was for the weekend.  Nothing really planned, I need to get a hair cut but outside of that, nothing is going on.  Perfect time to catch up on sleep.  I have been running short with getting to bed late, interruptions in the middle of the night, it seems no matter what I do I am facing morning much quicker than I am ready to.  My body is telling me must rest but my brain is like must work.  So I need a happy medium and then I think I’ll be okay.  I have plans for getting my real massage tomorrow.

Take care and know that I am anything but bored or relaxed.  I hope that your doing well.  Here’s to the middle of the week! 

Where do I even start

This past week can suck it, it’s been pure hell.  Friday is supposed to be the best day of the week, it was when the bottom fell out for me. 

Remember my co-worker, the cunt?  Yeah well she turned in her notice and is leaving.  While I am happy that I won’t have to deal with her drama and attitude she does a lot of things that make up a good majority of what my department does.  Graphs, Charts, Stats, Incident Reports and the list goes on and on.  Who do you think gets to pick up the slack?  Those of us left behind like myself.  I am not an Excel whiz and frankly thing a lot of the charts and graphs are bullshit.  Plus we have a large mobile device management rollout that is about to start and she is ducking out just before that ramps up.  Friday I was just beside myself and felt that this was the worst possible thing ever.  Now that reality has set in (much like with death) I realize that this is a golden opportunity to shine.  It means stepping up to the plate and digging in, working harder than I have before but the pay off in the end could be larger than what I expect.  I did glance to see what is out there in the job market and there are a couple of opportunities.  Right now I am not ready to jump ship, I mean it seems like the logical thing to do but it’s actually it’s far better to stay put.  The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.  Besides that things might not be nearly as bad as I envision them to be.  If things get too bad I can always leave or look to see what is available internally.  Everything happens for a reason and I’m not clear on why this happened but I may figure it out in the future.  On call is going to be a lot worse but it means more money for me so I may complain but I will be enjoying raking in the cash. 

Da Bears giving me so much trouble, things have settled down a bit.  I picked up some meds for him.  He does insist on me changing his food after a bit, so I switch with the girls.  I call it a switcher roo.  I came up with the name thinking about Ruthie.  Everyone seems to be a fan of it, even if they are eating and I take the food away.  Hope that keeps on working.  Plus he’s drinking water, which is such a good thing.  We have to keep that bladder flushed out.  Otherwise it’s crystal city and we can’t have that.  He’s trying and fighting, which is the same thing I am doing.  No wonder were paired together.  I’m not giving up on him or any of them until there truly is no hope and no decent outcome or quality of life. 

To reward myself I did a little Amazoning, make it a lot of Amazoning.  I got cologne which the price fell and I got a much larger bottle than last time for less money.  I call that a good buy.  Then there is some new soap (who’d want old soap?).  That all came on Friday along with stuff for Da Bears.  I ordered some lotion that I have been putting off doing mostly because of the cost.  I got a couple of cell phone holders, needed them for a while.  One of my telephones developed a short.  The phone would ring and it would answer by it’s self on speaker, only problem is you didn’t know it.  The person calling could hear me but I couldn’t hear them.  Have you tried to find a corded telephone lately?  It’s damn near impossible.  This was a phone in my bedroom and something that I used to see if there was a message waiting.  So I got a message waiting indicator – it’s just a red light that turns on when there is voice mail waiting.  Finally I got a percussion massager.  I really hope that this is the answer to my muscle aches, because I can’t keep a masseuse on-call and once a week isn’t cutting it right now.  In fact I’ve actually skipped the last 2 weeks.  That only makes things worse.  The rest of the loot I mentioned arrives on Tuesday, something to look forward to.

When I am done here I get to go lawyer shopping, not something that I want to do but I want money for all of the crap I’ve been through with my car.  The manufacturer hasn’t responded to my letter and it’s what I anticipated would happen.  They are calling my bluff, not something that you want to do with me and/or a Virgo. 

I catered to myself even further and went for pizza yesterday.  The cute guy wasn’t working there but a family came in with a nice strapping young man.  He had a nice booty.  Sitting in a bar chair and he was working it.  No one had any idea I was slobbering all over myself inside as he moved about.  I call that a dinner perk.  Plus I got a Cannoli for desert.  Brought home the left over pizza and enjoyed two slices for supper.  Probably will finish it up tomorrow night, Yum!

Gator decided to let me sleep in today, I got up later than I expected.  Went to Cracker Barrel for Breakfast.  Digressing I had to stop yesterday to get Oatmeal at the upscale grocery store.  I went to check out and I’d swear that the guy who hit on me from Cracker Barrel was my cashier.  His name tag matched his apron.  That’s how I got the idea to go there.  Anyway, there was a cute host who was chatting me up.  I did me recon work afterwards found out that he’s still in High School.  No wonder he’s so cute and has a nice bum.  I almost made a move but kind of glad that I didn’t.  He’s got a tattoo and in my state you have to be 18 to get one or have your parents permission.  I’m a poor judge of age so who knows maybe his parents said yes.  I am not looking to commit a crime, but I sure would like to get my rocks off with a guy, plus have a companion. 

Gay Dating that bust of an adventure.  All of my subscriptions will be ending this week.  Then I think I will stick around on Tinder but the rest of the apps will be gone.  Taking a break seems right and with the change at work I know I’ll need to focus more energy on my career than my personal life.  I did put in for PTO in July. 

Finally, I got a notice from Microsoft that they insisted that I upgrade to the latest version of Windows, which is the Creators Update.  So I did.  My desktop which is my main machine had some issues.  First, it kept going to sleep and not responding.  This machine prior to the upgrade was set to be active 24/7 so that when I need it, I can count on it being there for me.  Then I had some programs that needed to be reinstalled.  Long story short all of the bugs are worked out but it’s been awful and not the way that I wanted to spend my evenings and weekends.  Glad it’s over.  I still have 1 laptop to upgrade but it doesn’t get powered on much.  My laptop at the office is updated but I haven’t turned it on Thursday or Friday.  Work was just way too busy. 

Okay, so here’s hoping that this week is nothing and not even remotely close to being as bad as last week was.  I need smooth flowing traffic, fast moving days with no drama, no boring meetings and time wasting conference calls and to be able to soak up as much sleep and have as many orgasms and time with my cats as possible.  I know I have high expectations but might as well dream big, right?  I hope that you have a great week as well.  First Sunday that I haven’t had a nap, there simply was no time.  Hopefully, that means I’ll sleep great!

Rip it off like a band-aid

Last night the more I thought about the phony guy I have been communicating with, the more I thought why are you fueling this and carrying on like nothing is wrong.  You know that it’s going to end in disaster, might as well speed it up.  So I reported him on the dating app, that of course hides both of us from each other.  Then I closed out my account on the site, paid membership or not, I am done.  I looked at a lot of the guys that are interested in me and I see lots of military guys with similar profiles.  Time to run. 

This morning I woke up to an email from him, saying how being gay is a sexual choice and he wants to suck on my toes.  Yes I said toes, not the body part that I would be looking to have suction applied to.  Anyway I could tell this was probably a cut and paste type thing.  He asked for photos of me, told me that I was a good honest man that we were building a relationship and that we could each have downtime to be with family & friends.  Yeah, uh okay.  Your overseas and you think because we have exchanged a few messages that now were in a relationship.  Boy are you delusional.  I killed the email account that I had setup for this purpose.  It stings a little bit but he is like a worm and the longer I let this go on the deeper he would be in my head.  Real or not, it smelled highly that it was fake – I used my flight instinct and now it’s on with my life. 

Back to my 99 problems, but he isn’t one of them.  Speaking of problems the Bears spent the bulk of the night under the couch, wasn’t interested in sleeping with me.  I did get some time with him on the couch.  No movement from him at all – I mean either #1 or #2, bone dry.  Scary but not unusual for 1 day with him.  He must have a very strong and large bladder.  He played his food game with me this morning.  I told Marv last night that his brother probably wasn’t going to be around much longer.  He woke me up at 2am to let him out so he could spend time with him.  How nice, wish his timing was better.

Today I wrote the vet that we usually deal with.  I never got a response from her.  I came home and saw that he took care of business while I was gone.  He seemed refreshed and boy did he chow down.  He played the game but I played one right back and he was a very good boy.  I’m headed up to spend time with him and hopefully enjoy our evening. 

We got hit by the Google Docs spam campaign today that someone brilliantly came up with.  That took up my entire afternoon, jumping from a conference bridge to call a user.  Don’t click that, don’t forward that and don’t reply to that.  Did anyone listen?  A lot of people did but a lot of people didn’t and made this far worse than what it needed to be.  It was a cluster in and of it’s self but it’s done.  It was a rush and fun at the time but now I am exhausted from the crash of the adrenaline leaving my body.  Let’s hope that I get to sleep much earlier tonight and now that a few things are under control maybe I will sleep deeper so that I can awake refreshed tomorrow. 

Traffic has been a real bitch this entire week.  That’s not going to get better anytime soon.  We have flooding to deal with and everyone is trying to find a new way to work.  Thankfully I am not affected except that I get to sit in traffic jams on the way to and on the way home from work.  Not how I want to spend my time.  I’d rather be with my kids and relaxing. 

Presto, change o that is where I am headed.  Hope all is well in your world.  Take care. 

Empty but full of Drama

Da Bears had some problems last night when he tried to go to the bathroom.  Lots of straining but little production.  I knew he wasn’t done and he needed some help.  So I gave him that help and I can assure you that he is empty now.  What a mess.  He needed a bath and at 10p that was the last thing I wanted to do.  I got him to sleep with me and that calmed him down.  He seemed much better this morning, like a new lease on life.  I hope that his body can fix the issue that is causing him problems.  I really want my buddy back, but this was just another affirmation that were getting closer than I want to the end.

I caught myself last night looking at some mock stationary that I made up.  I merged my partners name with my name, then listed everyone out on the page.  It looks like were a law firm and/or a CPA Firm.  Underneath our names I put the tag line, the original cat house.  I made this up years ago to be humorous.  I counted and there were 10 names with all of the cats, including #1 son.  I thought to myself who would have ever thought that I would be the last survivor and that everyone is going to pass before me.  I mean that is what I anticipate but if I happen to drop dead today, that wouldn’t be a true statement.  But logically speaking I will have to mourn each of their passing and when you think of it like that, it’s like trying to swallow an elephant.  Pretty large task.  I suppose that is why they dwindle off slowly, one here and one there.  Sort of like Old McDonald’s Farm but there is no ei ei oh.  I am a pessimist by nature and just can’t shake the feeling that my Big Boy will be checking out sooner than I want him to.  He’s a tough guy and been through a lot.  He wasn’t terribly happy with me last night, that is until we were resting in my room. 

If you thought that was the dramatic part, your wrong.  I met someone online or so it seemed.  It was nice but the more things have played out I believe I have been targeted by an imposter.  I am waiting for the demands for money to be sent and then I will have my confirmation.  I won’t send a damn dime to some stranger that I have never met in real life.  I am trying to be optimistic and say that this person is real but I read a lot of dating scam articles and this has all the markings of one.  Typically if your not in my area or have plans to return to my area then I don’t waste my time.  I am not looking for long distance, I need a guy to be here so that I can feel, touch and talk to him in person.  I am purposefully being vague bout what I have been through.  I am glad that I have the foresight to be on guard and aware.  I could call it quits but on the off chance this person is real I don’t want to hurt them, I know what that feels like and don’t want to do it to someone else on purpose.  Some people can be really good at having you buy in to their story and then when you least expect it, everything unravels or they trip up and expose themselves.  I mean if your getting money out of people I understand why you would want to lie to them, but if your just catfishing them for the hell of it, I don’t get that at all.  I’ve been crushed a lot on these sites, it hurts worse to reach out too someone that you find appealing and they ignore you.  Why do adults act like children? 

On a different note one of my favorite broadcasters was Tom Snyder.  He has since passed away. I really liked his voice and sense of humor.  I decided to check out You Tube and sure enough there are archived interviews.  Yesterday at lunch I watched his interview with Charles Manson.  Manson is still alive today, he’s in his 80’s if you can believe that.  Anyway, the interview was tough to follow because Manson deflected, and talked gibberish..  He got upset for no reason and really talked strange.  Of course he never said he murdered anyone.  It’s interesting to hear some of these interviews that I never took place.  I started Don Rickles but have yet to finish it.  It’s content like this that makes me happy that we have the internet and the resource that can archive so much content.  If you want to see it, chances are it’s on-line somewhere, the hard part is finding it. 

Tuesday has been really busy.  Back to the salt mine.  Just wanted to touch base.  Hope all is well in your world.