04 June 2017

The Search Continues

I went for my annual eye exam today.  My search for the glasses that I want, worn by Kennedy a Corbin Fisher porn model continues.  I hate to lose and I am good at finding things and finding people.  However, this is one challenge that is besting me.  I have invested countless hours of looking at web pages full of eye glasses but no exact match.  I reached out to the studio and they were going to try to find out from Kennedy who made his glasses but that proved futile as they never heard from him.  This just pisses me off to no end.  I found what I believe to be a very close match in the Columbia line, however it’s not made anymore.  The local place that used to carry Columbia brand no longer does.  You’d think I was after this guys real name or his address but all I really want to know is who makes your fucking eye glasses.  They look so sexy and I really want a pair of my own.  Knowing his name and address well that would just be a bonus.  This is a thirst that I can’t quench no matter how hard I try.  It’s just tough to concede and put this behind me.  I have something that I like on order, it should be in next Saturday and I have to go look at it and try it on, then we can order it if I want.  It’s going to cost me around $300, that’s with insurance, every coating and option available to man kind in a single vision lens.  The brand of frame is Ray Ban, which will be new to me.  I have always been a Nike fan.  My prescription didn’t change that much and I really don’t need new glasses but I want what I want.  If I get them, there will be extra protection called Eyezen for staring at a computer monitor. 

I got my summer surprise bills in the mail this week.  Homeowner’s insurance stayed the same, which is good.  Taxes went up $300, mine are $3,700.  It is fucking expensive as hell to live where I do.  This is a wealthy town and it’s supposed to be middle to middle upper class.  I feel more like the low class.  My income is good for my age, and this is not my dream home or dream place to live.  However, with the cats and all of the crap from my late partner, where else am I going to go?  So I am kind of stuck here waiting for the cats to die off, for me to get off my ass and get rid of a bunch of useless shit, sell some shit and then I can think about moving.  By the time all of this happens I will be an old man. 

My dream is in California.  There are more gay people there, it’s much more progressive and I think my odds of finding a man would be far greater.  I want to go get my feet wet and go on a vacation to check things out.  The cost of living is much higher but the jobs pay better to accommodate for that.  I need an income translator to figure out how much I would need to make.  This too is a desire that I have been unable to quench.  I mean maybe I go on a trip out there and hate it so the idea vanishes, but I feel that I am doing myself a disservice by sitting still.  It’s all about money and circumstances.  In chatting with that lady last week I think that a move would do me good, it doesn’t have to be cross country.  But if I am going to be bold I want to be fresh and go off into unfamiliar territory.  Make my own way in navigating new surroundings.  It would be much more fun with a partner, but I have adjusted quite well to doing things by myself. 

Given the fact that my job is so stressful, I have been carefree with my money.  I see something or think of something that I want and I just get it.  Part of that is me spending part of my settlement that has yet to arrive.  The other part of it is me rewarding myself because of the stressful circumstances.  I got 2 new Mont Blanc Pens.  Oddly enough they were shipped to me from California.  It’s in the Pix line both are blue.  One is a ball point pen and the other is a rollerball.  That was an easy $389 that I dropped.  Now that they are here I am really only a fan of the rollerball and am contemplating sending the ball point pen back, but I am sure I will manage to talk myself into keeping it.  I really want a Parker 5th Generation but I opted for Mont Blanc instead.  In my book it’s the supreme grand daddy of all writing instruments and it conveys prestige.  It’s my way of looking rich even though I am dirt poor. I got me some new clothes as well so I’ll look better than normal when I go to work for a couple days.  Then it will be back to the same old same old.  

So how was the week?  It actually was pretty stressful.  One day I was so back logged I told my team not to bother me, I was focused on new hires and departures.  Plus I had to plan for an employee change.  I am off into some unchartered waters, it’s fairly simple but when you have more than one of anything to process it’s stressful because there is a deadline looming.  The closer you get to the deadline particularly for a new hire the more people start inquiring about when the account will be ready.  By Thursday I was so ready for a massage.  I wasn’t signed up but decided to sneak off for a quickie.  That turned into an hour long session with me not removing my shirt and leaving my gold necklace on.  Turned out to be a disaster.  I am all knotted up and she kept rubbing up against the chain and there is a skin tag forming.  I am so sore and it hurts.  It’s going to for a while.  Funny thing is I did this as a treat to myself but it turned out to be anything but a treat.  Next time I’ll take off my shirt and jump on the table, it will feel a whole lot better. 

Next week my boss will leave for a two week trip, not until towards the end of the week.  We are launching a big project and it will be up to me and my co-worker to keep things on track and to stay a float while he is gone.  I have some concerns but there is little I can do about it.  So like everything else that I have faced I will confront it head on and just do the best I can.  While I am harder on myself than anyone else, I rest easy knowing that I put forth my best effort.  We all have our limits and I am working right up to the bleeding edge, where burn out is imminent.  I don’t want to burn out but at the same time I can’t just stop.  I am once again trying to be all things to all people.  I realize the only thing everyone can agree on is pizza because it’s delicious and I am not pizza.  The stress with the departure of my former co-worker is felt by all of us.  Even my boss told me that he is stressed out and he wants me to not be that way.  Yeah easy for you to say but look at what I have been tasked with, it’s years of work that she was able to ramp up for slowly over time.  I don’t have years I got it all as soon as she announced her resignation.  My boss hasn’t said a word to me about this but I know he is petrified that I am going to quit.  I’m not near that point yet but I can tell you that it won’t take much to send me over the edge.  Just as long as I don’t have any health problems from this and I don’t suffer from a nervous or psychotic break, I think I can keep this up for a little while longer.  I have stepped up to the plate and picked up in areas where my boss never thought I would.  I want to make a good impression and I seriously want to succeed. 

Furthering my reward I went for pizza this afternoon.  The cute guy waited on me and got me my food.  But his shift ended and I was handed off to someone else.  I had plans to tell him that I liked him, he’s young for me and my research tells me he is taken.  However, he is gay.  I guess the stars and the moon didn’t align just right so that’s why it didn’t happen.  When I left there was an accident and I was stuck in traffic for at least 30 to 45 minutes.  By the time I got to the scene of the crash I was beside myself.  It showed me just how fragile life really is.  It was a sobering wake up call.  There was an extended cab pickup truck the roof was sheered off of it, it went under a semi truck and crashed into a tree.  There was a door in the middle of the interstate.  It looks like another car was involved and it was crushed to bits.  There had to have been at least 1 fatality if not more.  I just couldn’t get the images of what I saw out of my mind.  I prayed for everyone who was involved that they all got to walk away but in my heart I don’t see how that is possible.

Tonight I went to see Baywatch.  It was all about Zac Efron for me.  He is so cute but now that he got ripped I am not so much a fan.  Some muscle is good but you can get too much and that is a turn off for me.  Anyway, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed but the chances of us winding up in the same bed are about the same as me hitting the jackpot on the lottery.  I was carded for the third time in my life.  Apparently I look so youthful that they just had to see my id.  Everyone takes me for being in my 30’s so I have no idea how old the lady behind the counter thought I was but I took it as a compliment.  That is until I had time to think about it and then I was kind of pissed but I let it go.  The movie was good, plenty of laughs.  If your thinking about seeing it, go ahead and treat yourself.  Who can’t use a good laugh?  There are plenty in this movie. 

No post of mine would be complete with out me talking about my bears.  He’s been such a good boy this week.  Defecation is still difficult for him.  I discovered by trial that one dose of the laxative the vet gave me works well for him.  So he will be getting that for a bit.  Not sure if it’s something he can be on long term but if I stop and he has problems, you can rest assured that I will be inquiring.  We have had plenty of time together on the couch.  Belly rubs, hugs and kisses.  He just looks into my eyes and my whole world melts for him.  There really is something special about this cat.  He knows that I care for him and I have saved him more than once.  He appreciates it but he also works me until he tap dances on my very last nerve.  This picky palate of his is driving me nuts.  I am trying to cater to him as best as I can.  I worry that since he is off of his prescription food that he will form crystals and block again.  I sneak in a can of that food and he eats some of it.  I have a whole bag of the dry food that he was just nuts over and he stopped eating it.  I mix it with treats and he got wise to that and picks out the treats and leaves the dry food for his family members to gobble on.  They all love it. 

I rewarded all of the cats with a new water fountain, which they are suspect to drink from.  I got 2 scratching posts, I assembled one of them.  They are always going nuts over the birds.  This thing has 2 bird shaped toys and of course no one will dare go near it.  The flock to the old scratching post, which bit the dust a long time ago. 

Today was all about me and I am behind on my chores but I’ll get what I need to done tomorrow and Monday will roll around quicker than I want it to, then it will be back to beating the same old drum.

Feels refreshing to get all of this out.  Now I have to go face the music because I have been downstairs for a very long time and were way past bed time, so everyone will be fussy.  I keep telling them there is plenty of daddy to go around.  Gator has been sleeping with me, Momma sits on one side of me when Bear is on the other side.  Ruth climbs up in my bed while I am watching TV and then along comes Marv and there goes Ruth.  They all have their moments with me.  Ruth however will not be happy tomorrow because it’s claw trimming day, she scratched me earlier in the week so I know for a fact those nails are sharp. 

Well off to bed then to wake and tackle grocery shopping and then cat food shopping.  Then I am done and can spend the rest of the day at home instead of running around.  That will sure be nice. 

My lawn guy sent me an invoice last night, apparently he’s cut my lawn every week in May.  Problem is we have a contract that authorizes him to cut it bi-weekly.  He wanted the contract, not me.  However, in this case it works to my advantage.  I threw it in his face and told him he will have to eat the additional charges, I am not paying for his service every week because it wasn’t authorized.  I will pay what was authorized.  I have had more problems with this guy than I ever did with Lawn Boy.  I kind of miss him, it was a simpler time.  However, he fucked up.  So has the new guy.  I may be looking for a new lawn person again soon, which I really don’t want to do.  This wasn’t my mistake it was his.  I mean if you want to cut it every week come on by and do that, I sure appreciate it.  However, I am not paying for it.  I thought I would have this battle back in April when he did the same thing but nope, he just sent me a normal bill.  It will be interesting to see how this plays out, but the contract legally insulates me so while I could be nice and send him all of the money, legally I am not obligated to do so. 

Have a great rest of the weekend, enjoy the week ahead and hopefully I will be able to do the same. 

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