Big Cat Update

Bear is still going, but he is driving me nuts.  I had to stay up with him last night, he wanted attention.  He was actually fine until I decided to go to bed and then he just threw a fit.  I had to get up and pet him and try to get him to calm down.  I think I got a couple hours sleep.  He is trying to go to the bathroom but nothing happens, he thinks he has gone but I touch him and he is bone dry.  It’s like they put a plug in him.

I started wondering why we didn’t just put in a cathether and drain his bladder.  Turns out I called the vet to find out and they said that was the typical treatment but it required hosptialization.  I guess my telling them I don’t have money, they thought I wouldn’t go for it.  Cost is around $650 and that requires hospitalization for 1 to 2 days.  It would have been convenient if they mentioned that yesterday and then we could be done with this. 

He threw another fit after I got home from the grocery store.  I did wind up taking him back this afternoon, they did a lazer treatment on him to break up the crystals, in the hopes they would pass.  They asked me to wait 24 hours before I consider doing anything else.  I gave Bear an appetite stimulant to help and ensure that he didn’t give up eating.  He had a decent amount of wet food for supper.  Very happy about that now if he would just pee.  The vet said that his bladder had very little in it.  I think that is rather odd because nothing has come out of it and I have been watching him extra close. 

While he is not out of the woods he is still a big baby and wants attention.  A lady that I saw at the vets office told me not to put him down, she said if anything get a second opinion.  I may do that. 

Tonight I can deal with him throwing another fit but after that Monday night it will be back to work on Tuesday.  He will have to chill out.  I just hope this all has a happy ending!  I really don’t need this right now.  It’s also affecting everyone else because they know Bear is ill and that I am off my game. 

I have spent the bulk of the day upstairs with the children.  Watching Making A Murderer on Netflix.  Holy Shit I got so mad at one point where the detectives were feeding the kid the words to say in his confession.  This whole thing is messed up.  If your watching it, then you understand where I am coming from.  If your not watching it, give it a look.  Starts out boring at least to me but it picks up from there.  I hope the whole thing has a happy ending but from the way things are going I don’t think so.  This just re-enforces what I now know if your ever questioned, it’s just best to have counsel present. 

Chatted with my friend that had a cat with a similiar issue as Bear.  They wound up putting him down.  They said that they were told once this starts it will come back again and you will be going through the motions over and over.  It’s just best to part ways.  Well I simply can’t do that with my Bear.  I don’t have the money but I do have a nice line of credit that will afford me the luxury of not giving up but at some point you have to pay it all back.  So I think very hard before I make a major move.  Right now I’ve got around $250 tied up in this little issue.  If I have to spend $650 more to get a positive outcome well then I am all for it.  Problem is no one can say for certain what will be, medicine is a science.  Science involves a lot of speculation, which doesn’t play well for me or for my boy.  Should he go I think his brother will take it the hardest, the girls won’t really notice but then again I could be wrong.  I just don’t want to be in that position or in the similiar position I was with Blu having shelled out a ton of money and still going home with a dead cat. 

Here’s hoping that the week ahead is much better for me and that all of my problems can be wrapped up and solved this week.  Kind of hard to keep ones chin up and live life when your worried 24/7 about this or that.  Looking forward to much betters days ahead!

Bear still going

We went to the vet.  Bear has crystals in his bladder.  The goal is to get him drinking to flush them out.  If they all decide to come out at once it will form a block and that is a do or die moment.

Right now we have more pain meds, different antibiotic, some medicine for the bladder that I have to get filled on Monday at the compounding pharmacy.  Thus far it's $125.  He's a large cat and so are his vet bills!!

The vet said that this was worth treating. I really was thinking we were at the end of the road.  Glad that isn't the case.  I hope this works out and never comes back.

I put the day on hold but now that is done... I grabbed a bite to eat.  Sitting waiting to get my haircut.  Then it's home to clean up the place that looks like monkeys live there.  It's a huge mess!

Here is hoping that life gets really better for me soon.  I'm so tired of drama and trouble.  Glad to have Monday off.

Drugs cost money

I’ve spent $100 this week on cat medicine.  Picked up Bear’s stuff last night and started him on it.  I should have read the label on the antibiotic closer than what I did.  I thought it was 1 tablet 2 times a day.  It’s break the tablet in half and then 1/2 now and next half in 12 hours.  So he got 400mg in one dose.  He was still alive this morning.  I am honestly worried that this bladder thing is going to take him out, I mean he won’t actually die from it but I will be forced to make a decision again.  I really hope that isn’t the case.  Male cats are the ones who primairily have bladder/urinary issues.  I really hope that the antibiotic does the trick and he is peeing normal again within a day or two.  The pain medicine I hope helps him as well, I am sure it’s not pleasant.  He also has diahrea and I had to bathe him last night, which was not a fun experience for either of us.  I almost got rear pawed in the face with claws.  Thankfully I avoided that or my face would have been shredded like the pork I had for supper last night.

Everyone else seems to be doing okay.  I am keeping an eye on them.  Marv started out sleeping with me but he had to be with his brother so I let him out.  They hang together quite often.  I think Marv is Bear’s moral support.  The good news in all of this is that everyone is still eating.  They may eat less or when they want to instead of when I want them to but they are still piling in the food, which is a super good sign. Water is in high demand also and I am fine with that. 

So we had a warm up to spring like temps and now we are in the deep freeze again.  Temps are falling now and by the time we go home it should be coat, hat and glove weather.  Not what I look forward to but it is that time of year. 

I am eager to go home to be with the children and to be able to relax and unwind from what has been a hell of a week.  I got to sit in more traffic last night on the way home, thought it was a good idea to fill the tank while it was on my mind, otherwise I’d proabbly be stuck in traffic this morning and run out of gas.  Turns out traffic was heavy but I made it in at my normal time and there wouldn’t have been a gas issue.  I just freak out when the needle starts getting closer to E.  Gas prices here are crazy one day super low the next day expensive and the following day a little cheaper but nothing crazy cheap.  I think it will be that way for a while, so long as I get in on the super cheap days I am fine with that. 

Have a great weekend and I shall talk with you again soon. 

Troubles will come … troubles will go

Bear is still in trouble with his urinary issue.  He has made some improvement but I really need to hear from the vet.  I called last night and was told that the doctor had the day off.  Okay, so she was supposed to call me today.  I just called and heard that she hasn’t looked at messages yet and she doesn’t get back from lunch until 2:30p.  They might be giving me a call back this afternoon.  Trust me if you don’t call me by the time I go home, then I will be in the office – this is a serious matter and if I have to get more agressive I will.  Anything for my any of my kids.  At least this morning he was waiting for me.  He has slowed down in eating and is a little bit more picky but he loves water.  I am thinking he is dehydrated for sure.  I just want him to go back to normal using the pads and me throwing them away.

Momma’s issue I think is still on going.  I haven’t followed through with the extra medicine since it made her slobber.  I am taking a wait and see approach with her.  While her issue too is serious Bear’s is by far more severe. 

I did get my additional receiver yesterday and hooked it up with minimal trouble.  I went to plug in the TV downstairs and of course it was plugged into an extension cord that Blu peed all over.  The plug actually has corosion on it.  The TV is older so I am going to take what used to be my late partners flat screen and bring it down to my office.  I mean it’s mine now, might as well get some use out of it.  It’s got a built in DVD Player but all that means is that it will be a vampire device and suck electricity even when not in use.  It’s nice being able to watch TV downstairs primarily in the event of a storm.  I am unsure how long I will keep the additional receiver, it’s only $9 a month but still that is money I could use elsewhere. 

On my way home last night and I see flashing lights behind me, they are approaching with speed.  I moved aside and then they decided to move aside.  The person that I was behind didn’t know what to do and freaked out when I moved back into my lane.  I almost had a wreck.  Why is it that doing the right thing always seems to be the wrong thing for me to do? 

This morning traffic was at an all time low.  2 accidents and I had five minutes to spare to make it in.  Not the way I wanted to start my morning.  Then once I am in it’s helter skelter and it takes me about an hour before I was actually able to sit down at my desk and get a sip of water and relax but only for a couple moments.  Today has been busy but now that we are in the afternoon I suspect things will slow down and I will have to endure a hellish few hours. 

I’d love nothing more than to get a couple of comforting phone calls, not sure if it will happen but I can still hope.  At least tomororw is Friday and we have a 3 day weekend thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  I look forward to laying on the couch and taking a nap with gator and momma – doing nothing for as long as I want and what I want when I want, not being on a set schedule.  I have routines but they don’t always get followed to the T.  Life happens.  The weather here warmed up but were going back to the deep freeze for the weekend.  I say bring on some snow and lets all stay inside toasty warm – cancel a day out of life, it won’t be the end of the world.

Happy Thursday!

Cat Problems

Last night I went to the pharmacy to pick up Momma’s medicine.  As I suspected they gave me a very small amount but I was charged full price $42.73 … Momma hates the medicine.  The visit to the pharmacy was entertaining.  A guy ahead of me paid for a ladys prescrption while he was waiting for his own.  He then disclosed to the entire pharmacy very loudly that he had hemmeroids.  When they gave him his prescrption I told him if they gave him supositories not to eat them.  Of course I was joking.  He asked me if I had hemmeroids before.  I told him yes but not that I needed help from a doctor, OTC stuff did it.  He wasn’t happy about trying to shove something up his rear because apparently he has a very bad case.  He wanted a pill.  I told him that they will help shrink the swelling and things will feel alot better.  The people behind the counter were rolling but also kind of surprised that I was armed with knowledge.  Yeah I wouldn’t want to trade places with that guy.  We did such a good job of entertaining them they asked us to come back again tonight.  Of course I won’t but if it would pay the bills I would gladly stop by.

Now on to the problem.  Bear I believe has a UTI or some form of infection that is interfering with his ability to pee.  He has to strain and he does it all the time, which explains why he walk around wet and there are no puddles to clean up.  I’d love to get him back to pee pads.  I cleaned him up again last night.  I started up Google and decided to see what I could find.  It sounds like a UTI.  I rummaged through the medicine that I have and found Amoxicillin, it was prescribed for him back when he was really sick in 2009.  I started him on that because I figure that something is better than nothing.  He is hiding but outside of that slight change everything else is normal thus far.  I know that if this is left untreated eventually it would take it’s tole on him and he would stop eating which would probably lead to his demise.  I reach out to the vet last night by email.  I hope for a response today, I asked for an antibiotic for him and said that if he didn’t show improvement in a few days that I would bring him in.  I really am not crazy about that not only because of his weight but because the fact that I might not be taking him home.  In my research I learned the vet would want a urine sample and they get that either by catheter or if that won’t work they puncture the bladder.  That’s all well and good but if you put a hole in his bladder will it seal it’s self up?  I don’t want to set him up for failure or death.  I’ve done a good job in taking care of him and nursing him back to health.  I will never be ready to let go but know that at some point I will have to. 

So it seems that I keep accumulating problems instead of solving them and getting new ones.  I’d personally like to fix all of my problems and not get any new ones for a long time.  Too bad that isn’t the way life works.  I want the cat problems as well as my own issue to be resolved then I think I will be ready to tackle new issues that come my way. 

Were only 13 days into the New Year and I already have the opinion that this year sucks and is going to continue to suck.  I’d love to get out of all of the debt that I have accumulated, meet a guy that I will be dating and serious about, go on an actual vacation away from the area for at least 3 days, and win the lottery.  Doesn’t have to be the top prize just enough to make me comfortable for the forseeable future.  I can pretty well say that if I had money I wouldn’t have man trouble because they would be flocking to me thinking that daddy was going to load them up with cash.  I don’t want that kind of relationship it’s superficial and I want something that is real.  Starting to doubt if that will happen.

The good thing about today is I got to work early to be able to post this, traffic was lighter.  I am also getting lunch catered in thanks to my boss but I have to sit through an hour long meeting.  That won’t be any fun but I will try to focus more on the food than the meeting.  Here is hoping for a great day ahead for me and for you.  Talk with you all again soon!

Baby it’s cold outside

Yeah really it’s not just a song, it really is cold outside!  Shiver me timbers.  Very thankful for heat, long sleeves and lots of moisturizer.  Hugging a cat helps also because they have built in heaters!

Gave Bear a bath last night.  He tolerated it but wasn’t very happy at all.  Especially since we had just done this a few days earlier.  I only washed 1/2 of the stink off of him, not sure why the other 1/2 stayed behind.  He got all wet and I made sure shampoo got on everything in back, he was rinsed off rather well.  Makes no sense to me.  Anyway, he slept in my room and when I woke up this morning he left me a present, not one that I wanted but it was easy to dispose of.  Glad he is still going to the bathroom but kind of wish he would get back to the pads, that is why I buy them.

Ruth didn’t want to come to treat time, I think she thought I was playing a trick on her to capture her.  Once she realized that she was missing out, about an hour later she came upstairs.  Thankfully her brothers left plenty behind for her to eat.  I should probably stop using the vaccum.  After a day or two you can’t tell that the rug was ever clean.  It’s like why fight the monster.  I will continue but it does seem pointless.

Everyone is talking about Powerball because it’s a record jackpot.  I am having a friend pick up a ticket for me, I gave them the money for it.  They say that you would have a better chance of getting a last minute pardon from the Govenor if you were on death row than you do winning this large jackpot.  All I can say to that is someone is going to win, it might be several someone’s.  I just hope that it’s me or someone I know that would be willing to share with me!  Well I can dream, that doesn’t cost any money. 

Nothing else really new.  Looking forward to a 3 day weekend – extra time for everything and that includes napping which will be good news for Gator because she loves to sleep on me.  The bad news is Tuesday next week will be our Monday.  But it’s a day closer to the weekend and having to work 4 days isn’t terrible.  Going back to 5 days is rather rough. 

Speaking of which before I babble too much I should get back to it.  Lunch time is about overwith.  Talk with you all again soon.  Until next time, stay warm!

Another Day Another $

With all of the extra stress I have been under, I find myself doing silly things like today I drove to work and forgot my glasses.  I don’t need them for driving and they are not required according to my drivers license.  They are more for the computer than anything but my eye doctor strongly encourages me to wear them as much as possible.  It’s awkward being at work with no glasses but I will survive.  Driving home in the dark may prove to be a little bit of a challenge because my glasses have a glare coating, outside of that all should be okay.  No plans on stopping anywhere for anything, it’s straight home tonight.  Tomorow will be the pharmacy and the post office.  Tonight is all about getting the trash out and trying to relax a little bit before I have to go to bed.

I was able to call A&T back and found out that they figured in HD Service already so I am all set, the price I was given is solid.  That is a bit of good news.  The new receiver should arrive on Wednesday and I am not sure if I will try to hook it up Wednesday night or if I will push it out until the weekend.  Kind of depends upon how the week goes and what my mood is like.  It’s supposed to be an easy thing but sometimes those easy things turn out to be horribly complicated and aren’t so easy after all. 

I did some looking last night and found that a resturant has brought back a favorite dish of mine that I never thought I would see again.  Looking forward to going back there and eating.  It will be delicous and bring back a flood of memories. 

It’s been a crazy day here at work but things are settling down a little bit.  Bear has a new problem.  He pees whereever he wants to but you can’t find a wet spot on the carpet.  Very strange I just look down at him and notice he is all wet, so I clean him up.  Poor guy I feel sorry for him but he is still eating and drinking.  He still loves to hide under the couch, I had to pull him out last night to feed him supper. 

Lord knows I don’t need any other issues, my plate is more than full at this point.  I hope that Momma feels better soon and Bear goes back to using the pads.  I hope that life in general gets better sooner rather than later. 

Now back to work for this guy.  Talk with you all again soon.

Semi Productive Day

I woke up to see snow but it was melting as fast as it was falling.  We had a Winter Storm Warning but it has since been cancelled.  I was really hoping for accumulating snow, it’s kind of a sign of comfort for me.  The children had me up at 6:30a and Momma crapped in my room again.  Wow what a morning. 

I fed the little beggars and decided to watch TV and eventually after some self pleasuring I was able to return to sleep.  I went to the couch and Gator followed me.  I rolled over, she jumped on top of me and got comfy.  I told her what time I needed to be up by and I’ll be damned if she didn’t wake me up with 30 minutes to spare.  Doesn’t always work like that but I think that all animals are smarter than what they get credit for. 

I ate some stale left over scones that I had purchased shortly after Christmas.  It wasn’t healthy but it was something to eat.  Took my medicine and got dressed.  I was out the door and went to get my oil changed in my car.  I have NEVER let a quick lube place touch my car.  Given the circumstances and how I want to save my time off from work, this was the only option I had available to me.  Now I had a coupon that said conventional oil change $19.99 my bill was $50 – I added an air filter and some junk they poured in my gas tank but just looking at the basic price of the oil change it’s no where near $19.99.  I of course didn’t make a copy of the coupon before using it, so I kind of think the point is moot.  However, I did take an online survey and told the company about this.  I just don’t think it’s right to advertise one thing but have it priced differently when someone shows up to make a purchase.  Under normal circumstances I would have already started a letter writing campaign but I am clearly not operating under normal circumstances.  The only good thing was one of the guys who was working on my car was really cute but he has no idea that I was into him.  He kind of reminded me of my first guy, he had a bad boy look to him.  Not that I want a bad boy but his look was very enticiing and he had a nice body from what I could tell.

Moving on to getting cat food.  No cute guys and I was stuck in what appeared to be an endless line but eventually it moved faster.  I had left my $5 coupon at home and this was because of issues from last week.  I wasn’t happy but it’s not the first time that has happened to me.  The good news is that it’s still valid and doesn’t expire until the end of the month.  I am putting it in my wallet tonight so it will be there when I need it. 

Finally home sweet home.  Got the cat food put away.  Then it was time to deal with AT&T.  OMG this was a disaster.  I was told to call back in a few more days, I lost it with the lady.  She barley spoke english.  She told me she could add Spanish channels and get my bill down by $24 for 3 months.  I hung up on her.  I called the cable company and they made me a very sweet deal.  I was pressured into signing up now but I declined.  I used that price and was able to negotiate a much better deal with AT&T when I called back and finally got transferred to their Retention Department.  Tip of the day, if you want a good deal with U-verse just tell the automated recording that you want to cancel your service, you will be transferred straight to retention.  Now I had to make changes to both my TV and Home Phone but I was able to add a 3rd TV in.  I am not in a contract and the price is good for 1 full year at which time I will do this little dance all over again.  Oh brother!  Cable was giving me a 2 year price commitment but their DVR sucks compared to AT&T.  Sad thing is I have to call AT&T back to see if I will still be getting HD service, if not then there is $10 more per month they will charge me.  HD is super awesome and very addictive, it’s very much common place and normal to expect.  It’s like a buger and fries.  You wouldn’t just order a burger, but I do sometimes!

I heard back from the vet about Momma and they want to have me pick up more medicine from them for her that will help with her stomach/diahrea issues.  I was told not to stop her thyroid medicine and they have no remedy available to cure her facial itching.  I will drop by tomororw morning to see how much they want and then make the appropriate decision from there.  I am looking more closley at every penny I spend.

I broke out the steam cleaner after cleaning up momma’s messes in my room.  I cleaned the carpet in my room and in the hallway, then I was done.  Decided to get something to eat and had Creamed Chipped Beef.  It was very good and hit the spot.  Nevermind the fact I am hungry again.  I’ve lost a small amount of weight due to the events of last week and my nerves being on edge.  Not the way I want to lose weight!

I’ve been working on ye old laundry and I broke out the vaccuum cleaner for the basement.  I also finally trimmed Ruth’s claws.  She hated it and hated me, she lost her bladder, screamed and I got to smell dragon breath again.  It’s never pleasant for either of us but if she would just cooperate and not kick up a fuss I would be done.  When I let her go she swiped at me.  Thankfully I was wearing the gloves so I was able to swipe back at her and I raised my voice.  Little bitch!  She of course loved me when it was time for treats.  So our relationship/rapport is still intact and I suspect it will be that way forever since I am her only source for food. 

It doesn’t take much to wear me down and well it’s late evening now, about the time I would normally be going to bed.  I want to keep on going but I am going to back away from the old PC and call it a night.  Hopefully find something entertaining on NetFlix.  All of my shows recorded fine this past week and I was able to watch them without any problems.  I started on a new show that is on ABC.  It’s called American Crime and it’s about a boy who was drugged and raped by other guys – they are in high school.  It’s kind of interesting and the actor who plays the rape victim is kind of hot to me.  I know I turn everything into sex but when you haven’t had sex in as many years as I have gone without it’s no wonder that the wind blows the wrong way and I am thinking about sex.  A friend of mine told me earlier this week that I need someone to bend me over and give me a good fucking.  I would forget all about my troubles.  I said yeah because my ass would be so sore.  I don’t consider myself a bottom.

Tomorrows jobs will be to ensure that the laundry, dishes and house are taken care of.  Grocerys are purchased and I have my usual Sunday breakfast.  Trying to going back to living my life but I can easily say it’s not easy with what I am going through.  I know this too shall pass.  Easy to say.

Here’s hoping for a better week ahead.  Thanks as always for stopping by.  I shall talk with you peeps again soon.  Be well and take care.

Lucky problem

Lucky aka Momma is starting to go to the bathroom outside the litter box again.  She is otherwise normal – eating, drinking, playing.  This is her way of telling me something is wrong.  I did some research this morning and the thyroid medication she is on is not compatable with her.  I say that based on symptoms that I have seen.  I really don’t want to spend any money right now but at the same time I don’t want to lose her.  It’s kind of a catch 22. 

I held off her dose of medication this morning, which I think she was thrilled about.  I am going to message the vet to see what they say and explain that I have serious financial issues right now so hopefully they won’t say you need to come back. 

When it rains it pours too bad it’s not Morton Salt that is pouring.  No one ever needs problems but I could sure use some easier ones than what I am going through right now.

Happy Friday!

One more day until Friday

Wow, I can’t believe we are about to stare another Friday in the face.  They do say that time flies when your having fun.  My life has been anything but fun this week but it’s nice to know that I will soon be looking at a break and maybe I will finally be able to launder my bed clothes.

I know that at least one of you are concerned about my post from yesterday and want to be kept in the know.  At the advise of legal counsel I am not able to talk any further about the matter I posted about yesterday.  If there comes a point where I can fill in the blanks I will certainly try.  I hope that you understand.

I still request your thoughts and prayers.  I am at work and going to try to go back to daily life as best as I can.  I can’t say that it will be easy but at this point it is what is best for me.  I am also a little freaked out about my finances having this issue come in and essentially rob me of money that I don’t have isn’t fun.  I pray that this event is not only over soon but that it doesn’t rob me of any additional funds.  I am not a Rockafeller, I am an average working class guy who lives paycheck to paycheck trying to stay afloat and survive. 

Sleepy and worn out are two accurate words that describe how I feel.  I was able to sleep in this morning but still at some point I had to get up.  Speaking of which I became super horny and wouldn’t you know it, not one but both of the streaming porn sites I subscribe to were both down and unable to play any video.  Just as well as it probably would have made me run late.  As it was I arrived early, which is typical and being in that position always makes me happy.  I hope those sites are back up tonight because I have a huge urge to fulfill, it has literally been days.  I am sure it will also help comfort me. 

The weather here has finally turned into Winter.  No snow yet, but we have a high chance for flurries and I will take that.  It would be awesome to have a snow day but we might be a ways off from that.  Speaking of which I moved my doctors appointment to next month, with all of the time off I have taken I figure it’s probably a wise move on my part.  I will have to let a quick lube place change the oil in my car and I am not happy about that but so long as it’s changed is the important part.  I won’t be rotating the tires but skipping one time probably won’t hurt anything or so I hope. 

I have been robbed of more than money, I have also lost a lot of time that I would spend on myself and with my children.  They know something is awry but there isn’t a way that I can explain it to them.  I just want to listen to peace and quiet, as I nap with my gator laying on me.  That sounds super awesome to me. 

Well back to it.  Take care and I will talk with you all again. 

Bad 2 Worse

Please pray for me, I need all of the help I can get.  Yesterday I learned that I am the primary suspect in the investigation with my mom’s house fire.  Law Enforcement tried to brow beat a confession out of me and the more I said I didn’t do it the more agressive they got.  We are at the stage now where I volunterred to take a voice stress test to see if I am lying – they claim this would help eliminate me as a suspect. 

As you can well imagine I am a wreck – operating on very little sleep, really don’t want to be at work, would love to get this little matter put to bed and behind me.  I am presently searching for an attorney.  It’s crazy to think that I have to hire an attorney to defend me, despite the fact that I am innocent.  Being able to pay for representation is going to be a major stumbling block. 

What is even more far fetched is that there is no financial motive or any incentive for me to have done this, as my name is not connected with that property, the insurance policy, etc.  So even if the insurance company elects to pay on the claim, I won’t see a dime of the money, which is perfectly fine by me. 

At this point I have serious doubts if I will ever talk with my brother and/or my mother again.  I feel like I have been framed, it’s just too convenient that after I was last there the event takes place.  I am going to limit what I post about this event, but wanted to at least circulate word that I would appreciate any prayer that you could send my way.  I just put my life back together after losing the love of my life, there is no reason whatsoever that I would want to flush it all down the toilet.  If I did I would comit suicide and not comit arson.

Thanks for your time and prayers. 

Explosion & Fire

My mom’s house had a fire on exploded yesterday evening.  I had gone back earlier in the day to obtain the stupid curio cabinet, which I wound up breaking part of the wood trying to load it into my vehicle.  There was an odor in the place on Friday but it was much stronger on Saturday.  It was nothing like I smelled before and it made me want to vomit.  I spent much of my evening giving a statement to the fire marshall and waiting for them to complete their initial investigation.  Finally around 2am on Sunday (today) we were allowed to leave.  The place didn’t have much fire damage but there is however smoke damage throughout the house.  A good majority of the windows were broken.  There is glass in the front yard that was expelled some 40 feet. 

The good news is that my brother has most of the valuables stored away.  I was able to get a few more items in my two days of being there.  No one was hurt, injured or killed.  The gas and electric were supposed to be turned off this past week but the power company never got around to it.  I think this was natural gas but I am far from the expert.

The house was going back to the bank since mom moved into a nursing home.  There is a huge question if there is still insurance on the propery.  That should be determined tomorrow when mom files a claim. 

The most difficult part of this, outside of trying to stay warm while the fire guys took their sweet ass time to milk all of the overtime they could, was me actually breaking the news to my mom this afternoon.  I was hoping that my brother had done it but of course he didn’t.  It was a huge tear fest and of course my mom thinks that the neighbor did it because he wanted her gone.  I told her you were already gone, what incentive would there be for him?  She didn’t have an answer for that.  Then it was the police man pushing a woman in a chair that had sprinkled drugs around the permiter of the house.  In other words her delusions came back to life.  I know this is really tough on her. 

I harbor guilt in that I probably should have called someone about the odor but I wasn’t positive what it was.  I feel really bad that I was the last person there.  Magically none of the neighbors heard an explosion or saw any smoke billowing from the house.  People just don’t want to get involved in this day and age.  What if it was your house?  You’d want someone to speak up.  A neighbor called my brother to tell him the curtains were flapping in the wind and a 1/2 hour later he drives up to see smoke and fire, then he calls for help.  So it sounds and looks suspicious.  We both have to give up our Tuesday in order to be questioned at the police station by the Fire Marshall.  However, if they thought that either one of us did this intentially they would have us in custody, they also would have taped off the house and neither of those things happened.  Still we are both a little nervous as to why we need to give a second statement and answer more questions.  This all should have been covered last night at the scene.

While I am sure that this will take months to fully settle.  I pray that my envolvement ends after Tuesday.  Everytime I try to help either one of them I get sucked into a huge mess.  This time is no different.  I am most thankful that this event didn’t take place while I was in the house, I am convinced someone is watching out for me because my cats need a father.  If it wasn’t for the cats I firmly believe that I woud have been dead a very long time ago.

Well so much for a more upbeat post.  I gave up my day, I am emotionally and physically exhausted.  The house still needs to be cleaned and I still have to capture a little girl who needs her nails trimmed.  I think I will be calling in for a couple days, I would be back on my feet by Tuesday and able to return to work then but I have Mr. Fire Marshall to deal with, which is why it’s 2 days.  Then next week I have the doctor.  Goodbye PTO not the way I wanted to spend my time.  This clearly was not the bang that I was looking to start the new year.  Here is hoping it gets better and fast!

So Long 2015…Hello 2016

I honestly put way too much thought into this post.  I was trying to think back on the major events of 2015.  The biggest 2 that stand out in my mind are the Bankruptcy going away and putting a roof on the house.  Those are both acomplishments.  The most negative event of 2015 was back in May when I lost Taz (LB).  FB showed me posts from 12/31 and the first one that showed up was from 2014 it was a photo of Taz passed out on the coffee table.  I remember that photo like it was yesterday.  I really miss that little guy.  I sure hope he is having fun with Blu and my late partner. 

I was able to stay up this year and ring in the New Year.  I didn’t do anything special.  I watch re-runs of shows via the A&E app.  Then called it a night after midnight, went to bed and got up early this morning around 9:30a.  I watched The Price Is Right and then headed to the Rehab Center (nursing home) to see my mom.  The place where she is at smells and looks like a nursing home.  They have a broken alarm in her wing so it sounds like someone is in need of help all of the time, there is no silence.  I couldn’t sleep in a place like that.  I am kind of sad to see her in that place.  She didn’t have a key to the house and once she realized that she started crying.  I started talking about a spare key and then she remembered that she gave a neighbor a spare key.  So she called and made arrangements for me to get the key.

Today felt a lot like I buried my family.  I was so sad, I wanted to cry but didn’t.  The water is turned off but the gas & electric are still on.  All of the good stuff is gone.  I got most of the stuff my mom wanted and then I took a lot of stuff just for me.  Good thing I brougt the truck because it was full when I left.  The basement has water in it and the house smells mildrew and mold.  No one would want to inhabit that place.  It was difficult for me to be there the few hours that I was.  I had plans to see a movie and grab a bite to eat but changed them once I saw that I had a mountain to deal with. 

I did a quick walk through.  The place was freezing because there isn’t any heat turned on.  The thermostat said it was 60 degrees.  I fired up the furnace since the lights worked and it was warming up but never quite got to 70.  My brother is going to shit when he gets the bill for that.  Not to mention the electric that I used as well.  I found a charger and decided it was best to charge up my phone.  The bad thing about that is I almost left the phone behind.

So the kitchen was first on my list.  I looked for old glasses that I remember from growing up and was able to snag a few of them.  Then there was a bottle opener, a small tape measure and general junk stuff.  My brother had put both of the dressers in the kitchen, so I went through them.  The one we used as kids was full of CD’s.  Mom has amazing taste in music for the most part.  There were tons of CD’s that were not even out of the wrapper.  Some old stuff and some new stuff.  I just took what I liked and some of it was taken just to piss my brother off.  Then I saw what used to be grandpa’s dresser which was passed down to my brother.  So I rummaged through that.  There was a lot of momentos of grandpa, I am sure he wanted to keep them but I took them as well.  One of which was his dog tags from WWII, we have the same name but our middle names are different.  The Army didn’t print middle names or initals on dog tags so they kind of look like they are mine, except the ssn # doesn’t match up.  The best find was a $25 gift card an Aunt gave to my mom for Christmas 2 years ago for Applebee’s.  I checked and it’s still valid so I took it.  Moving on to the living room there were coats that my mom wanted, got both of them.  Then I saw some old hangers from when grandpa used to work at a major dept. store that has long since gone out of business, they were actually purchased by what is Dillard’s today.  I took the hangers because they are unique.  This will sound really strange but the ceiling fan in the living room had pull chains with weights on them, I took them as I knew they would be able to add pleasure to an existing adult toy I have.  I was right, it feels more awesome now.  I grabbed a couple blankets that were crocheted.  There is a large curio cabinet that has been emptied out but I really would like it.  I think it would look great in my living room once I got the mountain of dust off of it.  It looks heavy so I passed on it.  Next up was mom’s room.  Man there was so much stuff in there.  Most of which was photos of us as kids.  I wanted all of my photos for nastolga sake.  While the photos were probably equal it seemed to me that she had more more of my brother than me.  I really wanted my baby book, it was something that my grandma put together and she never wanted mom to have it.  So I saw this as the perfect time to take it back but it was no where to be found.  I am guessing my brother has it or so I hope.  Anyway, plenty of photos and it all took a lot more time to go through than I anticipated.  I found the US Flag my mom was given when Grandpa passed away.  It’s in a plastic wrapper from the funeral home that has since cracked.  I need to purchase a display case for it in order to preserve it.  Kind of a unique momento to have.  There were some photos of my mom and her parents that I hung on to as well.  There was a full length woodem mirror that I got.  The dogs damaged part of it but still it looks great for the most part.  My brothers room was up next and it was pretty well vacant.  I nosed around in what was there and took a wooden chair, it’s nothing much to look at, but there are memories tied to it.  Then I hit up the bathroom and took the bath rug and the rug that fits around the toilet.  There really wasn’t anything else in there that I wanted.  Moving on to the hall closet which was cleaned out.  There was a large box of photos in there that I was hoping to get but didn’t.  Then was on to what used to be my room.  I looked around but there wasn’t anything in there that was worth my time.  My moms reading machine is in there and she said that she may need me to pick it up but for now she was relying on my brother for that.  Then it was time to grab everything, load up the truck and get out of that place.  I think I remembered to turn off all of the lights.  The heat is off for sure.  I thought about leaving it on but figured that would spark one hell of a war between me and my brother.  I think as it is he will be upset that I was there without him and that I got anything from the place at all.  I have forgotten a couple things so I am going back probably tomorrow. 

The strange part of it all was being in the house all by myself.  No dogs, no people – just deafing silence.  Memories came flooding back like a river – some good, some bad but mostly the fact that what was my childhood home will soon be no more.  I came across the mortgage papers that my mom signed to put the place in hock.  Despite the fact that it’s old, probably chocked full of mold and is in need of some serious repairs, I would have rather that she sold the place than to just give it back to a bank.  I can hear grandpa now rollong over in his grave.  He gave it to her debt free and like everything that she touches she fucked it all up.  My brother could save the place but he doesn’t want to live there, things would be different if there wasn’t a mortgage he and his girl would be living there for certain.  That is the house that not only I grew up in but that I had my first sexual expereince in, the whole thing is just overwhelming to me. 

Once I loaded up I headed for home and I was never so glad to get here.  I needed to wash my hands and bad.  I cut my hand on the plastic case the flag was on, I had to use the bathroom while I was there and wasn’t able to wash my hands afterwards.  Used up all of their TP and there was no more.  So I unloaded the truck and got everything in the garage.  Then came in and got cleaned up.  Then I was physically and emotionally spent.  I had to pass out, so I did.  My plans were to get a bite to eat at Applebee’s but that didn’t work out.  It was 3 when I got home and when I woke up it was 5.  Gator was yapping for food, so I fed the chilren and then worked on turning some frozen items into dinner for me.  Spaghetti & Meatballs with 3 garlic cheese breadsticks.  Then for desert I put away I can’t tell you how many small bite scones and pecan sandie cookies.  Then it was time to get my house cleaned up and get some of that stuff from the garage into the house.  The kids got nervous and Marvin in particular was scared out of his mind.  I guess he thinks I am going to get him but he’s perfectly safe, just overly paranoid.

I’ve got the laundry going, the dishes done and I finally paid my bills.  I never put off paying bills but this time I did because I needed some time to think, I had to give a credit card less money than I wanted to.  However I need money to live.  Surprisingly I pay cash for most everything from food, to gas.  I don’t like to charge it unless there is no other option.  What has gotten me in trouble is monthly subscriptions and then using Amazon – all of that goes on a credit card.  Provided nothing major happens I should be able to dig out from all of this in a few months time.  I could use my savings but then if a rainy day comes along I won’t have an emergency fund to fall back on. 

I look forward to a facial, a nice hot shower and then passing out and starting another day tomroorow.  I’d like to get out of bed early so I can actually see the movie that I have been trying to see for more than 2 months now. 

Last night I made a critical mistake, I browsed TV and came across a Pay Per View event that will take place on 1/2 it’s a UFC Fight that features Carlos Condit, I just wanted to see about it and wound up ordering the damn thing.  I looked for ways to cancel when I didn’t find any I wanted to know how much it was.  Turns out it’s $50 so I picked up the phone and said hello AT&T I need help.  The lady I talked with couldn’t find my order but said that it should come through after midnight so she would monitor my account and get it cancelled.  I certainly hope so because there is no way I am paying $50.  I wouldn’t pay it if he was naked and I wouldn’t pay it if it was porn.  Right now my bill with tv and phone is around $150 which isn’t horrible but it could be better.  My promo expires in a couple weeks and unless I call them and work out a better deal it’s going to jump to $237 which is outrageous.  I have NEVER paid that much for phone and TV.  If we can’t work out a deal then I am going to part ways with them and go back to Cable.  However, I would rather work out a deal and I am even toying with adding a reciver, depending upon what I can work out. 

Oh btw if you are following me and remember Rich & Justin I found out that they split.  Yeah Justin is still in AZ but Rich moved to Chicago.  They are still friends.  Justin has a new BF.  I really liked them both, just never understood why or how they could agree to an open relationship.  All it takes is someone to give you more pleasure when your having sex and then you want to leave.  That is always how those things seem to play out.  I got my information from Instagram of all places.  It was quite a shock for me.

Happy New Year and thanks for reading my blather.  I hope this is a much better year for all of us and hopefully the year that I get a BF of my own and hopefully his ass can cook!!