Last night on the way home it was raining, so I opted to come home instead of stopping for cat food. When I walked in the door the horrible odor of Cat Urine hit me. I am highly allergic to the smell, it makes my nose run, I sneeze and generally feel uncomfortable. I cleaned up the mess and was quick to figure out that someone missed the pad and went on the carpet. Lord why me? I sprayed the urine tamer spray but it didn’t do much work. I made my pizza and the cheese was like lava. It was good and while I didn’t need to eat the whole pizza, I did because I could.
I came downstairs to get away from the smell and to pay bills. I got a nice surprise in the mail on Thursday, the license plates for the truck were due. Craptastic! I had to pay $108 for a sticker. I think that is horrible, but you do what you have to in order to get by and stay legal.
I got my bills paid and was getting ready to hunker down with some porn, when the phone rings and it’s my friend who quit his job. Well I was glad he didn’t interrupt anything. In talking with him I learned that his identity got stolen. Someone filed an income tax return in his name. Since he doesn’t have to work for a living right now, he is going to visit the IRS in person on Monday with some forms he downloaded. He filed a police report and has dealt with the FTC. I told him that his best defense is to file his tax return as early as possible. Now of course he could really use the refund but since his identity got stolen he is looking at a few extra months before that money comes rolling in. At least that was the case for me when I went through this last year. It’s a common thing and outside of filing early there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it, which is really sad. After I got off the phone with him and finished my business. I started watching Southern Baptist Sissies a play by Del Shores the guy who did Sordid Lives. Well this was rather interesting. I unfortunately fell asleep for a moment and paused the movie and called it a night.
This morning (Saturday) I woke up at 5a because the cats decided it was time. I got up went to the bathroom and then headed back to my late partners room. Where I managed to sleep for another 5 hours. At which time I got up fed the children, ate a Muffin Breakfast Sandwich and got dressed to head out and run errands. I figured out that I didn’t need to visit Target today so I crossed that off my list. I hit the DMV first because they close early on Saturdays. There was a very long line for stickers, most everyone waits until the last minute. Not me, I am an early bird. I stood in line and observed this thin young guy with black hair and almost no figure at all. He had a shirt on that said something about him being sexy. Yeah, it took guts to wear the shirt out but I didn’t view him as sexy. The line moved forward and of course the DMV employee had no personality and no manners. It was a keep it moving kind of attitude. I said Good Morning and Thank You but got no response. A little bit of kindness goes a long way. Think of all of the people she interacted with. She surely ruined someone's day, but it wasn’t mine.
I got the sticker, got the mail and then came home. I thought I’d put off cat food for a bit later in the day. I came back home and opened up the back door and a window to help vent this place and air it out. I turned on a ceiling fan and sat down to finish up Southern Baptist Sissies. As I watched I was entertained but I was reminded how alone I am and how small that made me feel. Many gay people lead happy lives but I can honestly say my life has not been happy in the last 2 years. I do often wonder if that happiness will ever return. I have had thoughts of ending it all but I push them aside. Because if I act on them I will surely never know what lies ahead. I saw the play/movie on Here TV in case your interested.
After the movie was over with I had to take a nap, which I knew would happen. Saturday’s are my bodies time to catch up on sleep. I woke up in a couple hours and wanted one more hour but instead I got up. I said self were going to go some place today. I had talked my self out of it but it was back on now. I went out to check the oil in the truck and it’s over full, so there is plenty that can burn or leak out w/o me having the fear of running short. As I opened the garage door I saw my nosy neighbor lurking in her front yard. She sized the moment to ask me about ‘my friend’. The last she remembers is that he had broken his back. She thought he was in a nursing home. I told her no he had a stroke and passed away. She wanted details and then asked me oh did he have a stroke? Yes you stupid bitch is what I wanted to say, pay attention. Then she said oh you have to be so lonely. I told her it was no picnic but I have adjusted and I am getting by. Still she said you have to be lonely. Ok you evil wicked bitch, you made your point. Now fly away.
I closed up the hood and fired up the truck it was off to get pie on PI day. I didn’t want to go there but figured it would be good for the truck and it’s all freeway so that would be even better. I used a 1/2 tank of gas round trip. I had Pot Roast which I am not a fan of. I wanted a burger and onion rings but I couldn’t bring myself to order it. I had a slice of Coconut Cream Pie and called it an okay meal. Paid up and hit the road to come back and finally stop for cat food.
As I entered the store who is working but the guy that I met on Grindr. Finally he came out with it and apologized for leading me on. He doesn’t have time right now for a relationship, boyfriend. He told me that his life is a mess. He’s got work, a court case that he is in the middle of and then there is the task of interviewing and finding a job. Yeah okay. I told him that I figured it out and there were no worries. I was very professional about it, even though I wanted to bite his fucking head off. I knew all this time that he was one of those people who says yes because it’s easier. Now he feels bad. Well good, he should. Just be honest with people and you will save everyone a lot of time. Now I know why he is 36 and single, because he is afraid of commitment.
I have done a lot of looking on Grindr and I think I am going to jump back on, as much as I don’t want to. There are guys on there that I am interested in and I won’t be able to interact with them if I don’t jump back on. While I may be signing up for more heartache/heartbreak better to try and fail than to not try at all. After all just like when your in need of a job it doesn’t come knocking on your door. You have to go looking. The same is true with love – your mate isn’t going to come knocking on your door and say here I am the man/woman of your dreams. Maybe in the movies but not in real life.
So I feel slightly depressed. I am going to see what other movies or TV that I can watch and then call it a day. Oh, my mom called and said would you like to visit your favorite restaurant, give me a call if the answer is yes. Well considering that I just got back from Pie, I wasn’t interested. She is cooped up and looking to get out. I totally understand but I can’t be a chauffer. I think she was thinking my favorite restaurant is Olive Garden because that is where the two of us usually wind up. It is so not my favorite restaurant. I mean I like it but it’s not my favorite. So a challenge - - how well do you know me? What do you think my favorite restaurant is? Guess it will be fun.
I hope your weekend is going well and that the weather is great in your neck of the woods. I am going to relax some more and enjoy what is left of the evening. Then it will be time to eat breakfast out. The question is do I want Breakfast or should I stick with my theme from the past 2 weeks and order lunch. We shall see in the morning. Take care.
1 comment:
Coconut cream! My favourite!! :)
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