It’s a rainy gloomy day here. The kind of day where you want to sleep in all day long. Needless to say it was difficult to pry myself out of bed and get going. Once I did though I felt okay. Last night when I got home I was just wiped out. I was surprised that I stayed awake on the commute home. I did have times where I would space out but my eyes were open. Losing an hour of sleep is easier to adjust to the younger you are but now that I am getting up there in age it seems to be more difficult.
Last night I found myself eating Chex Mix and drinking a soda in the evening, when normally I wouldn’t do that. I also looked at a couple of gay dating apps. They required facebook to sign in, I used them looked around and determined that it’s pretty much the same crowd, but different names and profiles. The faces are the same. I deleted them from my phone. I have been chatting off and on with a younger guy, but he has no face picture. I like the body that I see and the fact he is younger so that is why I have decided to speak with him. The chat is in it’s infancy and I just asked for a face picture. I have no response yet and for all I know that could be a deal breaker for him. I will post something and it can be days or weeks before he gets back to me. I have viewed Grindr and saw a couple of guys that I would like to chat up but just can’t bring myself to create a profile. I kind of feel like that app is a lost cause in that it’s made for the hookup and not for finding a mate. I really wish that I could find someone that would help give my life more of a purpose. I was thinking though about the condition of my house in that the carpet is a mess, so I am not exactly proud to have company over but right now I am just looking to meet someone and date, coming over to my place isn’t something that I would suggest until I was comfortable with the guy.
Just like Sunday last night flew by faster than I wanted it to. I was very sleepy and had no problem calling it a night at 9:30p. I woke up in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep until about 15 minutes before I was supposed to get out of bed. Those 15 minutes are the worst. Then it’s time to get up and get with the program, which isn’t fun but I do it because I like money.
I am still amazed at how much time has passed not only since my partner passed but since I have taken on this job. It is like one day blends into the next and at first it’s a day, then two, then a week, then a month and pretty soon you have years flying by. I am proud of the accomplishments that I have made but also amazed that I made it this far. I really never expected things to turn out so good from a bad situation. Speaking of which I have prepped the letter to my late partners attorney on the Bankruptcy. They will take their last payment this month and then next month I will give them the difference to be able to cross the line to the magic #. Then the attorney will need to petition the court for the hardship discharge and hopefully I can put his bankruptcy behind me, knowing full well that there is no one who can make a claim on the house and that it is legally and rightfully mine, just as he has intended. My plan is to stop all payments after I send them the manual payment, I am sure that the attorney would advise against that but I feel like I have thrown money away and why give them more than they are legally entailed to. I see no reason to continue to financially bleed. The one possibility that I am not counting on is that if the court doesn’t grant the discharge and orders him, i.e. me to continue paying until the plan is completed. It is possible but it’s something that I don’t expect will happen. See usually when I say things are going well something comes and crushes that, my hope is that this will not be the case. I can’t wait until I can send the letter. As you will recall the attorney and I aren’t exactly the best of friends and the sooner I don’t have to deal with him anymore the better off my life will be.
So one of the guys that I have a major crush on here at work, called me today. He works in another office so I don’t see him but it was nice to get the call and chat, even if it was totally business related. Seeing his name pop up on my phone brightens my day. For me it’s all about the little things and I will take any amount of joy where ever I can get it from. Be it a phone call or playing with one of my cats, or listening to a joke. I’d rather laugh than cry.
Well lunch time is about here and I need to scoot. I hope the sun is shining in your part of the world and that your day is going well. 3 more days and we will be at the weekend again. I am looking forward to it, but right now have no plans and that for me is a bit refreshing so I can truly do or go where I want. Well a lot can change in 3 days. Take care and I will talk with you again soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment