Ever since I worked so hard to get my book published I have been having some strange dreams. I am reliving past experiences and they take a twist and something unexpected happens. Most of these have turned into nightmares. The brain does some strange things when it’s at rest, or is it ever at rest?
Last night I had 2 Italian Sausage Tortas’. They are like pot pies but filled with cheese, sausage and marinara sauce. They were good but very filling. Last time I only had one and wanted another, this time I had 2 and should have stopped at 1. I guess next time I will know to be better. I worked on getting my health insurance paid, there was a small billing error on their part. I wish they wouldn’t have caught it, but it’s over and done now. Then I approved my book for distribution. I already know its going to be rejected because the last page isn’t blank and there is no copyright information contained on the inside. Its still available for purchase through lulu and that is good enough for me. If I can make it to other media outlets, well so be it.
My plans for further promoting it are to send it to a couple of my favorite you tubers in hopes that they give it a mention on their site. That will attract people if they in fact mention it. The hardest part is waiting for the proof copies to arrive. I actually wanted hard back but opted for paper back. I know I am going to take many people by surprise. Most people that know me would never expect me to write a book documenting my life. Then there are other people like my mom and brother, well they won’t be too pleased I think when they read it. I called it as it was and being honest doesn’t always go over well. I am not sure if I will give them a copy or even make mention of it.
I actually have an itch to try to write another book but I don’t have a topic. It is a fun project and you get to revisit some old memories, some of those memories are good and others well not so good. I just wish there was something that I could do or say that would bring my late partner back. I would love to see his reaction to all of this, I think he would be amazed and oddly surprised.
Last night I took a few minutes to consume some water and relax. While I was doing so, I checked in on all of the dating apps. No more nibbles for me, at the moment. That is kind of sad. Part of me says go balls out and just hit up everyone you are attracted to. The other part of me says let it be, eventually you will cross paths with your future Mr. Right. I know that I can’t sit by and wait for him to knock on my door because that won’t ever happen. I did find that I am not the only gay guy in my subdivision, thanks to Grindrs location feature. I have no idea who the guys were that I saw on, but they were very close by.
Tomorrow I have to leave early for a presentation. In fact it’s right after lunch, there has been a change to the presentation and they want to do some testing ahead of schedule. I am fine with that but now I have to bring our equipment and plan on staying for a couple hours. I really don’t want to but I should still get out by 3:30 and that will be 3 hours extra to spend at home. Wednesday is TV night so I think if all goes according to plan, it will coordinate very well. I should get the relaxation and time away from work that I want.
While I was at lunch I got an approval message for both the day after Christmas and the day after New Years. Good to know that I will be off. Bad thing is in about 3 weeks I will be on call again. It’s only for a week but still it’s like for a week I am not my own person, my actions are governed by work. I have no idea what the schedule will be like next year but I hope that I can go months before I have to do it again.
It’s been a busy day today. There is another guy here at work who I am attracted to. I kind of feel that he is interested in me or so I thought when I started. He is married and has a child, that today means nothing. I was talking with him and found myself constantly getting tongue tied and not being able to talk. It’s funny how our emotions sometimes take advantage of us. I haven’t made a move and have no plans. Coworkers no matter how hot they are, in my book are off limits. Making a move first of all would subject my sexuality to spread like wild fire and secondly even if it stayed a secret, eventually people talk and well relationships don’t always go as well as you want them to. I know there are plenty of people who met at work and are still going strong today. Me, well I don’t want to work with my boyfriend – I don’t mind if we are in the same field or work in the same industry but that is as close as I want to get. It’s better and safer that way.
Well enough personal stuff, I have to prepare to get back to work. Lots to take care of this afternoon and before you know it I will be in the home stretch counting down the minutes. I did write a letter to Lawn Boy asking for a refund, I wrote it this morning and printed it off. Now I have to sign it and mail it out, then we shall see if he will be so accommodating as to give me a refund. I mentioned nothing about the bushes, because it seems as if he isn’t interested in taking that on right now, even though he promised me he would. Thus far we haven’t really had any major issues and I really don’t want one now. I know he isn’t the only grass cutter and bush whacker in the area but I have formed a rapport with him and trust him, probably more than I should.
I told the children last night that they were all mention in my book. I was brushing Marvin and out of all of the cats he actually hates to be brushed. You can pet or scratch him and he will be your friend. Break out the brush and he is ready to bolt. Thankfully because of his large stature he is an easy target. I brushed him and then gave him his medicine. He slept with me for a bit last night and then asked me to let him out. Before I left he was hiding under the couch, which I suspect means he doesn’t feel good. I am sure I will go home and find that he threw up in my bed again. That’s my boy predictable more so than the weather.
All is going okay here, hope you can say the same in your neck of the woods. I will talk with you peeps later.
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