Foul Mood

Morning – Happy Good Friday & Passover! 

My dick of a co-worker pulled a fast one late in the day yesterday and called to tell me he would be off today because his dumb son’s daycare decided to close for no reason at all.  I thought to myself God Damn you are fucking stupid.  It’s Good Friday/Passover of course there is a reason.  Everything was going fine until he called.  I guess I should have been suspect because I don’t get those good vibes and feel content often. 

His smooth move has had me in a foul mood ever since he broke the news to me.  I want to get him back and tell him well you took 1 day off I’m quitting so now you get to do my job.  Good luck hope you don’t fuck it up.  I so want to leave a pile of crap in his lap and quitting would be so fitting but right now that would do more immediate harm to me considering I don’t have a job to replace this one.  I know he’s going to pull another smooth move and have another kid since he got promoted and then he will be out for a few months.  We’ve got a big project around the corner and I just have a feeling he’s going to fuck me over.  I know that he wants 1 more kid and I hope that his wife has twins or triplets.  That would be seriously humorous to me.  That would probably mean Mommy & Daddy would have to both pick up another job.  Look we used to be the best of friends but since he fucked me over with Gator’s passing were no longer friends.  The conversations we have are brief and I say no more than I need to.  I think the anger is evident to him but then again he’s kind of dumb so who knows.  Despite getting a promotion he continues to make mistakes and I have to continue to clean them up.  I’m tired.  However if I pointed out every mistake he made and made him clean it up, it would take much more effort than me just keeping quiet and cleaning it up.  Besides that he isn’t one to acknowledge that he’s fixed a problem.  He will fix it but quietly and he doesn’t want to draw any more attention than necessary.  It would be better in many ways if he just quit and we started fresh with a new person.  It would be hell for a while but I’ve done it once before.  I don’t think he’s going to quit he likes it too much.  I just can’t see how he ever made it in the Military.  He had a pretty high profile job in my opinion and I seriously thought he was way smarter than he actually is.  That’s where that oxy moron of Military Intelligence comes in.  I wish that I could just get over this but I can’t and it’s eating me alive. 

I’m either going to get over this or I will start looking for a job.  I can’t continue to have my blood on full boil all of the time.  It’s not healthy for me or those around me.  However, thankfully no one but the cats is around me and they actually help to calm me down. 

We sat on the couch last night and watched TV for a while.  They each took turns and sat with their back paws on my legs and front paws resting on my chest.  Running their motors.  I love to hear that sound, the louder the better.  Morea wins for the loudest purr.  I’ve fallen for both of them, I can look at their faces and see they love me and are thankful for me rescuing them.  That however doesn’t take the pain and anger away.  I’ve still had random thoughts of checking out. 

Tomorrow is another death anniversary.  5 years ago tomorrow I lost my Bear.  He was the first Momma’s family to go.  I’d love to go back and do things differently but that is why hindsight is always 20/20.  In the end the result would be the same but I might have been able to get a little bit more quality time with him.  Poor guy was put through the mill and the vets thought many times over he was done.  He showed them by continuing to live.  At least he didn’t pass while my spouse was alive because that would have been very bad. 

In other boring news.  I got the trash out, threw out the rest of the pizza and had the Stouffer’s casserole.  Put some hot sauce on it for some extra flavor and it was really good.  I plan to finish it off tonight. 

I did get some sleep but I still had nightmares.  Rudy stayed pretty close to me for most of the night.  I guess it was evident to him.  Morea was in the hallway.  I know that she leaves the bedroom after I fall asleep but she is pretty good about not letting me figure that out.  She likes to take her corner by my feet and stretch out to take up a lot of the bed.  Rudy will sleep next to her or just on the other side of her behind my legs so I am literally pinned in. It’s all great until I need to move or get up. 

I paused for my orange break. I go upstairs and  eat two small oranges and then come back down.  Something new I have been trying out and it helps.  A little time with the cats helps to break up the day, plus I get to eat something that is good for me and get a small bit of exercise.  Rudy was talkative and I think he wanted to play.  That’s why he’s got a sister but they don’t play light it starts out in fun but usually ends rough.  They are quite a pair.  I can’t help but think what it’s going to be like when something happens to one of them because they are so close but then again Momma’s family was close and they managed.  Hopefully, we have many years before I have to deal with the death of another animal. 

Saturday will be a well packed day with things to get done.  I do hope that work leaves me alone all weekend long.  If I am going to get bothered at all I prefer that it be tonight because I will be running around on Saturday and Sunday I just want to relax before I have to go back to work on Monday.  I’ve got no more time off scheduled at the moment.  I am not scheduled to see my doctor again until June and then the only other thing I have pending is the dentist in August.  I’m sure I will take more time but it would be much more fun to take it with someone and go on a trip.  A seriously vacation I think would do me so much good hell I know I wouldn’t want to come back and never do look forward to that regardless of how much time I take off and the reason why. 

I don’t know that I will be posting tomorrow but it might happen.  There is much to do and here’s hoping I get it all done.  Happy Easter / Passover.  Take care, be well and here is hoping I have only good news to share when I make my next entry.  Living on Cloud 9 for a couple months would be so nice!  Cheers.